Thursday Afternoon Links

by | May 28, 2020 | Daily Links | 400 comments

You know what, seven hours in the car to see a rocket launch yesterday would have been okay. Seven hours to eat a mediocre dinner and have some ice cream in Cocoa Beach feels wasted. I was pretty sure the launch was gonna be scrubbed, but if you gamble on that and are wrong, you feel like an even bigger asshole than putting your family in a car for seven hours. We’ll watch the weather this weekend and see about going back out there.

Florida Man finds alligator chillin’ on his alligator floatie in his pool. Just another day.

Florida Woman leaves child and dog in car to go get high and/or steal shit to get high. In true Florida Woman fashion, the news had an old mugshot to run.

I’m not sure a rodeo in Cheyenne is really COVID central. That just sucks. Gonna be a lotta hungry rodeo folks.

I’m really digging the Senator Bluto act.

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

400 Comments

  1. Yusef drives a Kia

    December 7th, you know, D day

    • juris imprudent

      At least he didn’t give us VD day.

    • Bobarian LMD

      Germans bombed Pearl Harbor.

    • Suthenboy

      I thought that was the day we put men on mars?

      *There is no IQ or competency test required to run for any office*

    • C. Anacreon

      Animal House’s D-Day’s full name was Daniel Simpson Day.

      • Translucent Chum

        Whereabouts unknown…

  2. leon

    STOP MAKING FUN OF BIDEN! IT’S NOT RIGHT!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      But it’s fun.

      • Bobarian LMD

        And it’s right, too.

  3. grrizzly

    Cheyenne wants to be like big boys: today Boston canceled the 2020 marathon previously postponed until September.

    • invisible finger

      Having the marathon would be good for Trump, therefore no marathon.

      That’s what half the bullshit with the masks is – “I must wear a mask because Trump failed us.”

  4. Count Potato

    Is there any way to turn off the overlay so we can select the pictures on the front page?

    • Tonio

      Probably not that we can do. What are you asking exactly? Are you doing an article and trying to use the “featured” (aka feed, front page) illo in an article?

      • Count Potato

        I’m asking if there is a way to select pictures on the front page, to view them larger, save them, etc.

      • whiz

        Click and drag to the desktop works on my Mac.

      • Count Potato

        Nope.

        That just gives a web location document.

  5. Count Potato

    “an old mugshot”

    That’s one blurry picture.

    • Bobarian LMD

      In Florida, the mugshot is also used for the dating app, so you might want a blurry picture.

    • juris imprudent

      Was the camera drunk too?

      • Bobarian LMD

        They put vasaline on the lens.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        Learned it from the cameraman on the Moonlighting set.

      • Tres Cool

        didnt Bob Guccione do that, too ?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Yes.

    • grrizzly

      A strong tweet without links to any evidence. Where’s a link to the report?

    • Count Potato

      It is, except for places such as NYC.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      And Los Angeles just issued school guidance for fall- 16 max class, masks at all times, one way hallways, lunch at desk, staggered day, students issued individual balls to play alone, no gym, sports assemblies, trips. Can’t wait for nj’s plans.

      We’ve gone full Monty Python.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        one way hallways

        My next class is 3 doors down, but I have to walk all the way around the building to get there.

      • Bobarian LMD

        That’s by design, to replace the PE classes.

      • BakedPenguin

        It’s like they’re using Kryptonite against you.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Good luck with those rules.. they will make prisons look like playgrounds.

      • The Other Kevin

        I really hope things get much back to normal by then. It would be hilarious to see about 4 states still on complete lockdown when the rest of the country has been going about their business for months. Kind of like one of those lone Japanese soldiers they found on a remote island who thought the war was still going on 10 years after it ended.

      • Raven Nation

        It’d be even more hilarious if some of them held out for thirty years.

      • Count Potato

        At least they can play with their balls.

    • Count Potato

      From thatguy’s feed:

      “Norway health chief: lockdown was not needed to tame Covid”

      https://www.spectator.co.uk/article/norway-health-chief-lockdown-was-not-needed-to-tame-covid

      “The CDC just came out with a report that should be earth-shattering to the narrative of the political class, yet it will go into the thick pile of vital data and information about the virus that is not getting out to the public. For the first time, the CDC has attempted to offer a real estimate of the overall death rate for COVID-19, and under its most likely scenario, the number is 0.26%. Officials estimate a 0.4% fatality rate among those who are symptomatic and project a 35% rate of asymptomatic cases among those infected, which drops the overall infection fatality rate (IFR) to just 0.26% — almost exactly where Stanford researchers pegged it a month ago.”

      https://www.theblaze.com/op-ed/horowitz-the-cdc-confirms-remarkably-low-coronavirus-death-rate-where-is-the-media

      • invisible finger

        As the testing has been ramped up, the infection rate keeps dropping too. So the left is no longer kvetching about not enough testing. And to distract from the blue-state mistake of sticking infected people in nursing homes against the wishes of their families, now it’s just the existence of the virus is a failure of Trump.

      • commodious spittoon

        I would love to think there’s tremendous backlash stewing. I mean, let’s grant that the lockdown was necessary assuming the original models were accurate… these people have guaranteed that we will never obey another quarantine, at least not with major unrest, if we ever truly need it. If you’re a quarantine supporter, that should piss you off as much as quarantine resistors are rightly pissed off.

        Of course, this will break along political lines for a good many people, so the lockdown deadender and covid doomsday cultists will continue screaming bloody murder over lifting restrictions.

      • commodious spittoon

        not without major unrest

      • C. Anacreon

        And even with the rest of California starting to open up, the six Bay Area counties are ‘taking their own measures’ and are still in full lockdown, saying it’s ‘not safe to reopen so fast’. And unbelievably enough, in this solidly Democratic area, seemingly no one is making the slightest complaint about it.

  6. Count Potato

    Wyoming is already social distancing.

    “Choking up as he reminisced about his own involvement in rodeo as a youth, Gordon announced he would ease up on public health orders to allow outdoor gatherings of up to 250 people but no more.”

    That makes no sense.

  7. hayeksplosives

    The rodeo organizers don’t need to say “we can’t risk exposure”. At this point, just say “we can’t put it together at short notice and nobody knew on any given day what new idiocy the government would bring about .”

  8. bacon-magic

    RC Dean’s knives are the best Chinese steel you can buy and his boxers have a dickhole in the front and back.

    • Count Potato

      que?

      • bacon-magic

        Shhhh…I’m just trying to continue the cool knife discussion.

      • EvilSheldon

        Resolved: That knife people make gun people look flat fucking normal by comparison.

      • bacon-magic

        Say you bought a hi-point in a gun group and post the replies.

      • Bobarian LMD

        You can at least use it to keep your door open.

      • EvilSheldon

        The replies would all be along the lines of, “Stop fucking lying, Sheldon, you didn’t buy a fucking Hi-Point.”

    • Bobarian LMD

      Corona steel?

      • bacon-magic

        Commie tin

    • R C Dean

      *sigh*

      German or Japanese steel, bub. Say what you want about the Axis, they make good knives.

      Boxers? I don’t even have Boxers. And if I did, I wouldn’t put my dick in either hole. But you do you, bacon-magic.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      MY EYES!!!

    • bacon-magic

      That looks like a cartoon character on one of the current stupid cartoon channels.
      (Looney Tunes was the best)

    • slumbrew

      *pours bleach in eyes, scrabbles for a silver lining*

      Looking at the chalkboard, that’s not ‘murica. The googles says it’s Portugal.

  9. Rebel Scum

    “I want to remind you that Delaware used to be part of Pennsylvania,” Wolf laughed.

    “That’s right, but we declared our independence on December the 7th, by the way,” Biden replied.

    Delaware actually declared independence — both from Pennsylvania and British colonial rule — on June 15, 1776.

    “That’s not just D-Day,” Biden continued, still laughing.

    “You should have been there for the independence pool party on September 11. It was great fun. You know, the kids love the hair on my legs because it moves like seaweed in the waves.”, added Biden while chuckling heartily.

    • commodious spittoon

      A few repliers say she was attempting to stab some of the rioters peaceful demonstrators, which seems… courageous.

      • bacon-magic

        Yeah if you scroll down it does appear she had a knife. Why she took it upon herself to stop a riot is beyond me. Courageous …more like stupid.

      • Juvenile Bluster

        It’s incredibly dumb.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        It’s a fine line.

      • commodious spittoon

        Others would sit there and do nothing, but she wasn’t going to roll over.

      • Plisade

        Don’t try to spin this.

      • Rebel Scum

        Violence begets violence. Round and round we go.

      • bacon-magic

        The wheels of justice are turning.

      • blackjack

        How’d she end up in the chair, roller derby accident?

      • R C Dean

        Coulda been self-defense.

    • CatchTheCarp

      LOL

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      I like the line about Greta Thunberg being the Climate Karen.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      Donald Trump supporters, outraged by Time’s snub of the president, wrote letters to the editor and threatened to call the police.

      *applause*

  10. robc

    Went in for bilateral hernia surgery today. Doc decided second one was too minimal and risk of doing it was higher than danger from it, so only did one. I am hepped up on goofballs right now.

    I like this doc. He is like a young doogie howser.

    Or maybe I am old.

    • invisible finger

      Doogie Howser was 14 years old. A young Doogie Howser would be 7 years old.

      • robc

        Yes, I am aware. This doc is freaking young. But good.

      • Incentives Matter

        Bilateral? A bilateral inguinal hernia?

        Yikes. Did your doc do an “own-tissue” repair, or did he use a tensionless mesh? I got a mesh repair for a right inguinal hernia about ten years ago, and it’s held up like a charm.

        Oh yeah, take your pain meds. Don’t be a hero. It’s a lot easier to keep pain under control than it is to get pain back under control. If they’re opioids, try to limit solid food, unless you like being bunged up. I survived on a case of Boost drinks/day (around 1500 calories), and had no problems with constipation once I didn’t need the opioids any more (about three days).

      • robc

        Mesh. Right. Iguana ( I cant spell that word).

      • The Glib Formerly Known As BEAM

        Make sure to gently move around as much as you can. Otherwise the mesh will scar over in such a way as to make it very stiff, and you don’t want that. I started the day of the operation, just gentle walking to and fro in the house, between naps. By the end of the first week, I was outside, doing half-klicks, and by the end of the second week, multiple klicks per day.

        Good luck!

  11. CatchTheCarp

    Mission accomplished….. dryer put back together, no extra parts or screws and it works. I’d rate that at about 2/5 screwdrivers for degree of difficulty.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Good job! My dryer motor needs replacing, but I don’t really need one right now, and I’m too lazy to pull it out, it’s a stackable Washer /dryer thingy

      • blackjack

        1.5 minutes in the Bullhead sun. Dry up anything.

  12. robc

    A month ago I posted a link to the study of the relative effectiveness of different regulations on covid.

    Lockdown and school closings were completely ineffective.

    Congrats to the CDC for catching up.

  13. I. B. McGinty

    Was the alligator trying to mate with the alligator floaty?

    • Pope Jimbo

      I bet he was serenading that sweet floaty with sexy alligator ballads like “These boots were made for walkin”

      • Tres Cool

        Crocodile Rock

  14. Certified Public Asshat

    1 in 5 teachers are unlikely to return to reopened classrooms this fall, poll says

    In an exclusive USA TODAY/Ipsos poll, 1 in 5 teachers say they are unlikely to go back to school if their classrooms reopen in the fall, a potential massive wave of resignations. Though most teachers report working more than usual, nearly two-thirds say they haven’t been able to properly do their jobs in an educational system upended by the coronavirus.

    A separate poll of parents with at least one child in grades K-12 finds that 6in 10 say they would be likely to pursue at-home learning options instead of sending back their children this fall. Nearly a third of parents, 30%, say they are “very likely” to do that.

    This means we can do education with less money now, right?

    • Drake

      I call bullshit. Teachers aren’t quitting and walking away from pensions over this crap.

      • invisible finger

        Exactly. More “I iz scared of everything becuz Trump!!!”

      • Raven Nation

        They may not quit, but I bet the union would file some pretty heart-wrenching mental distress claims.

    • invisible finger

      The other 40% of parents have jobs.

    • Juvenile Bluster

      I really doubt that by August most parents are going to feel the same about not sending their kids back to school.

      It’s not even so much about myself. My daughter’s miserable sitting at home. All she wants to do is get back to school so she can see her friends again.

      • invisible finger

        Sorry, friendship is illegal becuz Trump.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        It’s going to be interesting to see whether there’s a homeschooling Renaissance or not. The pieces are in place.

      • The Other Kevin

        I think there will be to some degree, but the universities are going to take a big hit.

      • Juvenile Bluster

        I remember about 5 years ago or so Salman Khan (of the eponymous academy) said that in about 15 years (which would’ve been by 2029) he didn’t think that in-person college education would really be much of a thing anymore, and that most education would be online.

        I really think we’re heading that way. Why go to one school and pay all those fees? You could take an economics courts from the University of Chicago and an engineering class from Stanford in the same quarter. It would be great.

      • The Other Kevin

        Helping kids with online school can suck. But in general the high school and college kids are doing this all on their own and I’ll bet for the most part they like it.

      • Juvenile Bluster

        Yeah, mine is in 5th grade and it’s been difficult. If she was 5 years older I’m sure it would’ve been a lot different.

      • R C Dean

        All she wants to do is get back to school so she can see her friends again.

        Doesn’t she see them during the summer?

    • Bobarian LMD

      This means we can do education with less money now, right?

      I broke a rib laughing.

    • Stillhunter

      I’m strongly considering homeschooling our kids. The hardest part is missing friends and my boys play sports. I’m pretty sure they can still play, but it may be awkward, especially at first.

      Frankly I’ve been thinking about it or a while anyway, but getting a closer look at what’s being taught, I’d rather they get a real education. I’ve looked at a few places. Ron Paul homeschool is at the top of the list, with a few other curriculums as fillers.

      The beauty of Ron Paul homeschool is it’s self taught, video based and has regular writing assignments. The self taught allows less work from the parents’ standpoint and my kids are old enough that both my wife and I can work and the kids can be home alone during the day.

      The toughest part is getting the wife on board. She’s still skeptical and thinks the friend thing is a deal breaker. I think they’d figure it out fairly quickly.

      • Tundra

        My son played lacrosse with a homeschooled kid in elementary and middle school. The kid then ended up going to the local HS.

        He was a good kid and participated in a lot of stuff.

        Go for it.

      • blackjack

        My kid has learned triple in the last few months, compared to the rest of the school year. I assume it’s because , well, he’s a spirited kid and the teachers give up and let him refuse to do the work. I make him. I have to go back to work June 8 and my wife is going to have to try and work it out by herself for awhile, but I would love to continue otherwise. I’m probably going to do some extra teaching after work, when I can.

      • R C Dean

        She’s still skeptical and thinks the friend thing is a deal breaker.

        What do the kids think?

        I mean, there is value in being socialized into the prison-yard milieu of public schools, I suppose, but I would hope that good friends get together outside of school. Being homeschooled wouldn’t step on that.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Two points to add to this:

        1) friends need not all come from a 12 month cohort. I think one of the massive disservices that modern schooling does is silo kids by age. I think it has massive social, psychological, and emotional impact, nearly all negative.

        2) kids arent being shown homeschooling at its best. Parents are scrambling, the world is locked down. No question in my mind that there would be a massive increase in resources and social opportunity to meet the demand in the long term.

      • slumbrew

        I think one of the massive disservices that modern schooling does is silo kids by age. I think it has massive social, psychological, and emotional impact, nearly all negative.

        So much this. It was something of a revelation to have friends spanning a wide range, once I hit college and beyond.

        In retrospect, the division by age is surely unnatural.

      • Stillhunter

        Agreed on both points. The main reason my oldest got into baseball was because an older boy saw he had potential and took him under his wing.

      • Stillhunter

        The kids are not in favor, but they don’t get a vote. They see it as they will never get to see friends. Obviously that is not the case and kids are terrible at seeing the big picture and anything past the short term.

        I agree that as long as they can play sports they will be fine. We live out of town, so friends getting together is already a chore. Nothing much would change there.

  15. Rebel Scum

    Let slip the dogs of war?

    The Chinese army must step up combat readiness, Chinese President Xi Jinping has said, as the country increases defence spending to tackle “security threats from Taiwan independence forces”.

    Xi told Chinese military officers on the sidelines of the annual meeting of the National People’s Congress (NPC), China’s top legislature, that the People’s Liberation Army (PLA) had performed well in helping to contain the Covid-19 outbreak but should explore new ways of training during the pandemic.

    “It is necessary to explore ways of training and preparing for war because epidemic control efforts have been normalised,” Xi was quoted by state news agency Xinhua. “It is necessary to step up preparations for armed combat, to flexibly carry out actual combat military training, and to improve our military’s ability to perform military missions.”

    Xi, who chairs the Central Military Commission, said the pandemic had created challenges for the military, but China’s integration of the civil, military and political spheres had been an advantage during the crisis.

    I hardly consider Taiwan a military threat to China.

    • BakedPenguin

      Neither does China, which is why they’re considering military options against Taiwan.

      • Rebel Scum

        China angling for a false flag, perhaps?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Taiwan is just sitting there, right in the middle of China’s ocean.

        How can they let that stand?

    • Winston

      Taiwan needs to trade with the Mainland to bring peace.

    • R C Dean

      Let the Taiwanese buy a thousand cruise missiles, kitted out for anti-shipping or land-based targets. Bonus for nuclear-capable (if there is such a thing).

      Problem solved.

      • Plinker762

        Most of the cruise missiles started as nuke only and then were converted to conventional.

  16. Juvenile Bluster

    I really need to get to the dispensary this weekend. I’m out and my stress levels have been through the roof lately.

    • The Other Kevin

      I’ll bet you’d get exactly the same results regardless of occupation. The anxiety and emotional strain is result of the lockdowns and non-stop panic pushing.

      • invisible finger

        Good point.

    • invisible finger

      Maybe RC can chime in here. Are hospitals getting back to normal nursing shifts or are they still mostly doing the longer-becuz-risk-of-infection shifts they implemented in Fed/March?

      • R C Dean

        We never had longer shifts. We are slowly bringing our nurses back to work as volume creeps up. Early on in the “crisis” we paid a full ICUs worth of nurses to stay home and not work for two weeks, to make sure we had a set that could work if we saw a lot of sick-outs from the ‘Vid. We didn’t.

        The biggest complaint we have had is we put all our ICU-capable nurses on ICU rotations. Some of them had taken other positions, because ICU work is damned hard. We were running essentially two new ICUs to deal with the ‘Vid patients, but we’re almost back to normal on that front now.

      • R C Dean

        I couldn’t tell from the article in a British paper if those were American or British nurses.

    • Drake

      Quit their jobs and do what, for nurse pay?

      • The Other Kevin

        And 3 12-hour days that count as full time?

    • Don Escaped Australians

      68% planning

      Work through the virus and then quit? That makes sense.

      Also, that mini-van ain’t a gonna pay for itself.

    • Florida Man

      Is this one of the polls we believe because it confirms our biases?

  17. Count Potato

    “Staten Island tanning salon is shut down by the NYPD after defying lockdown orders to reopen – as hundreds of small businesses quietly open their doors despite warnings from de Blasio that they’ll be fined for disobeying him

    Catone told DailyMail.com: ‘The problem is they don’t give you a date. Now it’s phases. It went from flatten the curve to now I’ve got to wait a little longer.. we did that. Everybody did that. We were willing to sit in, make no money – it’s not healthy to stay in, first of all, after a few weeks people started realizing this isn’t really making much sense.

    ‘We did our jobs. We trusted you. Now you’re not trusting us.’ ”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8359399/Small-businesses-defy-shutdown-order-reopen-NYC.html

    • commodious spittoon

      You fucked up… you trusted them.

    • Ted S.

      Doesn’t he know only Cuomo gets to murder granny?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Like Nixon going to China?

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      Wouldn’t a tanning salon kill the virus with UV radiation plus vitamin D by default? Maybe that’s Trump’s secret.

      • Don Escaped Australians

        only if it’s aimed at your * hole

        NTTATWWI

    • Rhywun

      You do NOT want to separate a Staten Islander from his or her tanning salon.

  18. kinnath

    Waiting for the UPS dude drop off my thousand rounds of 308. It’s like waiting for Christmas to get here.

    • grrizzly

      I’m waiting for UPS to deliver a SIM card for my burner phone.

      • Incentives Matter

        I’m waiting for UPS to deliver some workout supplements. Their online tracker said they were supposed to be delivered yesterday.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Make sure and keep an eye out for the Feds when you take your crate of anabolics…

    • kinnath

      And it’s here!

      • R C Dean

        What did you get? ( mean, brand, bullet weight, etc.)

      • kinnath

        In case you happen back here:

        308 Win – 150 gr FMJ – Federal American Eagle (AE308D)

    • DEG

      I got another case of GP-11 today.

    • EvilSheldon

      Busy weekend planned?

  19. Tundra

    Hi Brett.

    Sorry about the failure to launch. Quality time is quality time, though.

    Very disappointed to see the rodeo folks bail. I suppose it makes more sense than trying to put together some convoluted clusterfuck (looking at you, NHL).

    I wonder how much of this is lawsuit terror. My law firm just emailed me an article about “avoiding lawsuits while reopening business”. What complete bullshit.

    I have an idea! How about we just open the fucking world and try to rebuild what these cunts have destroyed!

  20. grrizzly

    Trump as civil libertarian.

    Government surveillance bill withdrawn in U.S. House

    The House of Representatives on Thursday dropped consideration of legislation that would have extended U.S. surveillance tools, after President Donald Trump threatened a veto and his fellow Republicans withdrew their support.
    “The two-thirds of the Republican Party that voted for this bill in March have indicated they are going to vote against it now,” Representative Steny Hoyer said in a statement on Thursday, after a vote on the measure was unexpectedly postponed late on Wednesday.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      Trump recently turned against the legislation, resurrecting assertions that Democratic ex-President Barack Obama had improperly conducted surveillance on his 2016 campaign.

      Fuck you, Reuters reporter. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

      • Fatty Bolger

        At least they didn’t use “without evidence.”

      • Bobarian LMD

        resurrecting assertions that, with uhh OK, maybe just a smidgen of possible evidence, Democratic ex-President Barack Obama had improperly conducted surveillance on his 2016 campaign.

      • R C Dean

        I thought those assertions were resurrected by records showing that Obama knew all about it and gave it the green light.

      • Viking1865

        Uh no, you racist Russian stooge, we have an email from the White House itself saying that The Lightbringer himself ordered the investigation be run “by the book”. Direct quote. Facts. Science.

  21. UnCivilServant

    *grumbles*

    I finally sorted out the AV issue, so enough with the reboots for today.

    I don’t want to turn my attention back to the AC issue, but I also want to be able to sleep tonight.

  22. Ted S.

    Robert Weighton, 1908-2020

    The world’s oldest man who lived through two world wars has died aged 112.

    […]

    He was born in Hull, East Yorkshire, lived through the Spanish flu, both world wars and 25 Summer Olympic Games.

    Mr Weighton earned the Guinness World Record in March this year following the death of Japanese man Chitetsu Watanabe.

    He leaves behind three children, 10 grandchildren and 25 great-grandchildren.

    Dumitru Com nescu, from Romania, is now the new world’s oldest man, aged 111 years and 202 days.

    Dumitru, of course, is a vampire, so part of the undead.

    Weighton on World War I:

    Mr Weighton was six when the First World War started in 1914.

    He previously said: “I remember soldiers marching through the streets and the Zeppelin air-raids.

    “We were bombed in Hull as well as London. It was just a chap leaning out of the window and dropping a bomb.

    “But they set things on fire, and during the first raids, I remember hiding under the stairs in the hallway.”

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      Another coronavirus casualty

  23. Rebel Scum

    “People are dying and you want your rights…*scoff*” – Don Lemon

    “Traditionally, that role, the role of pushing back hard against censorship was reserved for reporters,” Carlson said. “Their job was to safeguard the First Amendment, which is designed to protect the weak, not the strong, the weak are protected by the freedom of speech and journalists are supposed to care about the weak, about the public — their readers and viewers. They weren’t supposed to be simply thugs hired to protect the powerful, but that’s what they become.”

    “‘Stop hiding behind the First Amendment,’ says Don Lemon,” he said. “In the annals of cable news that must be the most unintentionally hilarious line ever uttered by a script reader, as if exercising your God-given inborn right to speech and thought and conscience is somehow wrong. It’s immoral. Don Lemon demands that you stop thinking for yourself, fall in line, get on board, obey. Tow the party line, or we will hurt you. That’s his message. And it’s the mirror image of what journalists should be saying. The only reason we have a free press, there’s only one, and that’s to fight back against authoritarian power structures that demand we read from approved scripts.”

    “And now CNN is writing those scripts,” Carlson continued. “It’s terrifying. And all of a sudden, it’s everywhere. Throughout April and May, YouTube, part of Google took down any video that, quote, ‘explicitly disputes the efficacy of global or local health authority recommended guidance.’ If you dared to question the decrees of the politicians, some of whom are impressive and wise, many of whom are dumb and making it up as they go along. But if you criticize them, you are censored, and many were censored for doing that.”

    • Winston

      Well he may be a NatPop but he is correct to distrust the media and the globalists.

    • invisible finger

      If the police murdered Don Lemon, I might engage in looting as a celebration rather than as a protest.

    • Count Potato

      “YouTube, part of Google took down any video that, quote, ‘explicitly disputes the efficacy of global or local health authority recommended guidance.’ ”

      That is totally fucked.

      • R C Dean

        “YouTube, part of Google took down any video that, quote, ‘explicitly disputes the efficacy of global or local health authority recommended guidance.’ ”

        Not sure how you square that with Section 302 immunity.

  24. Mojeaux

    Okay, people. Now is the time to opt in or out of the acknowledgments of Cods & Cuntes.

    Well, ackshually— I have been a part of an online group of misfits/autists/freaks/people who hate authority since early 2018. One day in June 2019, I just … started writing. I ditched my family and friends and online communities and just wrote. My very glib community got worried about me and pinged me and then I was done. They’ve pulled a lot of funny memes out of this book, affectionately known as Cods & Cuntes. Chapter 18, y’all! After I came up for air, my glib friends were invaluable in helping me figure out details of this book and its sequel, Cods & Cuntes II: Trebuchet Boogaloo: @nw, @Yusef, @cy, @Fourscore, @Ted’S, @CPRM, @dbleagle, @Akira, @UnCivilServant, @NotAdahn, @Don Escaped Texas, @Jarflax, @Gender Traitor, @Cannoli, @The Hyperbole, and whole lot of other people I’m forgetting. @banginglc1 deserves no credit and is truly a despicable human being. Lastly, a lot of them like some things I write, and that makes me happy.

    • Tundra

      Well, I didn’t exactly help with the book, but I am a loyal customer!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Me? Wow, I am most happy to have helped,

      • Tres Cool

        She mis-spelled YUFUS

        TALL CANS !

      • Mojeaux

        @Tres Cool writes the mostest awesomest personals ads ever and he should publish them as a how-to-get-laid.

      • Tres Cool

        Awww…Im not worthy

        Disclaimer- in those days, CL got me laid quite a bit

    • Plisade

      I’ve hated authority since decades before 2018.

    • Don Escaped Australians

      I’m totes jealous of @banginglc1

      • Mojeaux

        @banginglc1 wrote his own acknowledgment.

      • Don Escaped Australians

        I remember

    • Mojeaux

      @Old Man With Candy came looking for me when I disappeared. @SP, his orphan, is a sweet wee lass. @Tundra will be playing Boss Tom in the movie version of 1520 Main. @plisade hated authority long before 2018.

      C’mon. The more ridiculous the better. Nobody reads the acknowledgments.

      • Incentives Matter

        @The Glib Formerly Known As BEAM didn’t do sweet FA but rather gazed upon the entire process with studied bemusement.

      • Incentives Matter

        “gazed upon” should be “regarded”

        Oh Lord, now I’m editing my own crap.

      • Mojeaux

        Done.

      • Tres Cool

        You should throw in Agile Cyborg as your muse or something

      • Mojeaux

        Done.

      • DEG

        Excellent.

      • The Glib Formerly Known As BEAM

        I’m honoured for the opportunity you offered.

      • DEG

        I have a few times.

    • dbleagle

      I love it the acknowledgment! But I am still disappointed mackerels may not make an appearance along with the cods.

      • Mojeaux

        What, no love for walleye and salmon?

      • dbleagle

        Okay then. @dbleagle was a known dis-respecter of authorities since he was a mere qtreagle

      • Mojeaux

        Done.

    • invisible finger

      Will I show up in a background check?

      • Mojeaux

        Depends on how far up the bestseller list I get…

    • Suthenboy

      What did banginglc1 do?

      • Mojeaux

        He requested to be memorialized thusly.

      • kinnath

        He asked for those exact words. Mojo obliged.

    • Derpetologist

      I once read a few pages of a romance novel someone left behind at a garage while waiting for an car repair. I read a few pages and then decided to walk to Burger King. For some reason, there are often heaps of romance novels lying around in laundromats.

      You know what you never see on the cover of a romance novel? A guy writing equations on a blackboard. Not too many astronauts either. However, unlike werewolves, astronauts actually exist.

      Most popular love interests of romance novels, in no particular order: nobleman, billionaire, werewolf, vampire, lumberjack

      • Mojeaux

        A guy writing equations on a blackboard.

        There are quite a few “beauty and the geek” type romances.

        Not too many astronauts either.

        There’s a whole lot of nothing to write about a guy who’s married to his job and spends a lot of time away from home. Also, it’s hard to get experts to interview about astronautism.

        Soldiers (the more elite the better) get lots of love.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        There’s a whole lot of nothing to write about a guy who’s married to his job and spends a lot of time away from home. Also, it’s hard to get experts to interview about astronautism.

        Then why is there so much dinosaur erotica? No one can interview or even observe a dinosaur.

      • Mojeaux

        I … I … Um. Hmm.

        Nope, I got nothin’.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Can’t get enough dino-porn!

        When the new issue of Barely Reptile comes out, I jack it so hard that the next day I’m a totally dick-o-saur

      • Bobarian LMD

        Ooh, scaly!

      • blackjack

        What about the classics, like lickalottapuss?

      • Ted S.

        There’s a whole lot of nothing to write about a guy who’s married to his job and spends a lot of time away from home

        +1 term of endearment

      • Ted S.

        You forgot military.

    • UnCivilServant

      an online group of misfits/autists/freaks/people

      I read that first word as “Mutants” and now I miss it.

      • Tres Cool

        “There he goes. One of God’s own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.”

      • UnCivilServant

        By definition all mutants are prototypes. The mass produced ones are to phenotype.

      • Bobarian LMD

        WHERE AM STEVE SMITH ACKNOWLEDGEMENT?

        HIM MOST ROMANTIC GLIBBER

    • Sean

      ?

    • BakedPenguin

      @banginglc1 deserves no credit and is truly a despicable human being.

      Some of us were truly despicable before it was cool.

    • Mojeaux

      @nw, @Yusef, @cy, @Fourscore, @Ted’S, @CPRM, @Akira, @UnCivilServant, @NotAdahn, @Don Escaped Texas, @Jarflax, @Gender Traitor, @Cannoli, and @The Hyperbole, who found a discussion thread when I couldn’t.

      @OldManWithCandy came looking for me when I disappeared. @SP, his orphan, is a sweet wee lass.

      @Tundra will be playing Boss Tom in the movie version of 1520 Main. @plisade hated authority long before 2018. @dbleagle was a known disrespecter of authorities since he was a mere qtreagle. In fact, each and every denizen of this community would like you, Dear Reader, to know that they individually hate authority.

      @The Glib Formerly Known As BEAM didn’t do sweet FA but rather regarded the entire process with studied bemusement. @banginglc1 deserves no credit and is truly a despicable human being. @BakedPenguin was despicable before it was cool.

      @i_am_totally_not_an_escaped_AI dropped a sweet birthday present on my head. *mwah*

      Lastly, there is @Agile Cyborg, a master of nonsense-that-is-not-really-nonsense. You just have to read it slowly and carefully. Like Shakespeare. Being high helps. I wish I could write as vividly as he.

      Look, I’m uploading this fucker in 8 more hours. I’ll post the open call in the next thread too.

      • UnCivilServant

        Oh, so the mutants have gone away? Or was the opener retained unchanged?

      • Mojeaux

        I added mutants, but otherwise the beginning paragraph remains unchanged.

      • Tundra

        @Tundra will be playing Boss Tom in the movie version of 1520 Main.

        *Orders 3 pizzas*

      • Count Potato

        *calls and tells them “no pineapple”*

      • Pope Jimbo

        What? Am I being shunned because I dare speak truth to power?

        Well, I won’t sell out: Memphis BBQ is way better than that KC slop.

      • Mojeaux

        @PopeJimbo thinks Memphis barbecue is better than Kansas City barbecue but he is despicable for this opinion and also wronger than wrong.

      • blackjack

        Dunno, but around here, Uncle Andre’s is far and away the best. They have killer potato salad and always sell out of it. Sauce before during and after, a little spicy and blackened some. It’s good! My 7 y/o eats a half rack of babybacks from them.

      • Mojeaux

        If the Pontiff thinks I’m going to slag on KC bbq in my acknowledgments section, he has another think comin’. LOL

      • blackjack

        When it comes to BBQ, when in Rome…

      • Ted S.

        @Ted S., the sexiest man alive who everybody knows has the best taste in music

      • Mojeaux

        Done.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        “@trashy is generally a jerk who thinks I’m evil, but he lives in a trashcan and gave the gift of the permalink, so I guess I can tolerate him.”

      • Mojeaux

        Done.

      • Spartacus

        “…and @Spartacus, who demanded to be prominently included despite doing absolutely nothing whatsoever, sort of like Chuck Schumer.”

      • Mojeaux

        Done.

      • slumbrew

        @slumbrew’s comments made me dumber for reading them

      • Mojeaux

        Done.

    • Mojeaux

      The thing about self-publishing is that you’re never finished.

      I can add to this list any time, but I’d like it to be comprehensive by the time I’m doing the print version.

      This book is a rush job, sorry. I just got tired of it malingering in my hard drive.

    • R C Dean

      @RCDean’s demand that I use a nonstandard spelling of “Cods” was summarily rejected.

      • Mojeaux

        Done.

    • Trigger Hippie

      *waves at Mo*

      I added nothing, don’t add me…just waving.

      • Mojeaux

        *waves back*

    • Gender Traitor

      Ooh! Ooh! I most enthusiastically opt IN to the acknowledgments, but I can’t think of any specific dedication off the top of my head, and I just got home from the Y and we have to go pick up dinner. If I think of anything before it’s too late, I’ll let you know. Or you can leave it as is. Or surprise me!

      Thanks for letting me read the story in advance! It was an honor and a privilege!

      • Mojeaux

        You are already mentioned as your IRL name, as is @Cannoli and @nw.

      • Gender Traitor

        Imma be famous! : D

    • Cannoli

      I’m just jazzed to be on the show man ?

    • Mojeaux

      She looks like Ashildr.

      Pomplamoose uses that technique, putting a visual to each track.

    • grrizzly

      The other day you asked about the Russian word for bear. Yes, medved медведь indeed means a honey eater. Apparently it’s a euphemism cause ancient Slavic people were so scared of bears their original word for the animal became a taboo.

      • kinnath

        I was familiar with medved медведь being the word for bear, but didn’t know is was essentially a euphemism.

      • Derpetologist

        Thanks for the reply. In many places and times, there was a belief that “if you speak of the devil, he will appear.”

        Other euphemisms occur for the sake of sectarian tranquility. In Tanzania, pork is called kiti moto, which means hot seat. Most other meats are just called “meat of [fill in the blank]”. Tanzania is about 1/3 Muslim. In Swahili, mnyama means animal and nyama means meat. I thought that was funny. Kuku means chicken, both the animal and its meat. Nyama ya ng’ombe means beef (“meat of cow”) and nyama ya mbuzi means goat meat.

        I was lucky to live in a mostly Christian area. Most Fridays I’d dine on fried pork and boiled starchy bananas or fried cassava. Tasty!

      • Derpetologist

        the word for pig is nguruwe, but I only ever heard it from people who kept pigs

      • Winston

        I thought it meant Golden Turkey..

      • Derpetologist

        Michael Medved and his worst movies book? Good job. Took me a while to untangle that one.

        Battle-sweat for blood is my favorite kenning.

      • Derpetologist

        fun facts: the Latin word for bear is ursa. It comes from the Greek word arctos, which means “thing from the north” basically. The name Ursula means little bear in Latin.

        I hope you enjoyed this journey into the land of learning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPqpmSWwuGk

        Reading Rainbow, Captain Planet, Carmen San Diego – it’s a wonder I can think at all

      • Heroic Mulatto

        The word “bear” is also a euphemism as there is evidence that the proto-Indo-Europeans were also bear worshippers. We don’t know the actual PIE word for “bear” because they used the euphemism so often that there is little evidence as to what the word was.

      • Derpetologist

        For once, I do not regret clicking on one of your links. That was great!

      • Heroic Mulatto

        A lot of good stuff on his channel. Particularly on cross-cultural swearing and profanity.

      • grrizzly

        Hah! I hadn’t seen this before.

      • UnCivilServant

        Bear is drunk. Had too many sidecar.

      • Derpetologist

        It seams that med is a quasi cognate with the English word mead. Mead is made from honey.

        *mind blown*

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRWbIoIR04c

        It’s interesting how the cognates work out. Kholodny is cold. Sneg is snow. Krug is circle. But loshad is horse and subak is dog and chelovek is man. How did that happen?

      • Derpetologist

        seems, that is

  25. Pope Jimbo

    Good. Burn it all and make sure get that original wrecker and kulak who called the cops on Floyd when he tried to pass a counterfeit bill.

    West came to the family’s defense when she saw on Facebook that people were calling the family murderers, and saying that the store should be burned down. “It was just very nasty things,” West said.

    According to Nelson, the threats against the store and the people who work there have come over the phone. There also have been many critical posts on the store’s Facebook page.

    “Count your days,” one Facebook post reads. “You bastards will die slowly.”

    Nelson said Floyd tried to make a purchase with a suspected counterfeit bill, which the store employee refused to accept. He left the store but lingered outside. That’s when the employee called police, Nelson said.

    Be in interesting twist if this turns into a black vs muslim thing.

    • Ted S.

      I thought the Muslims in MN were very disproportionately black.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Anyone who is Muslim is an honorary minority. This is known

    • Suthenboy

      What will probably happen is that the community will die and turn into a wasteland.

      • Winston

        Well that way you don’t have to worry about the cops if no one lives there…

      • bacon-magic

        Then gentrification….it’s a plot by whitey.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        We play the long game.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Y’all gentrified my genes!

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        That’s what I’m talking about. We worked on that for generations.

  26. Raston Bot

    Trump trying to strip CDA Section 230 liability protection from social media.

    This seems huge. My kneejerk reaction is it’s antithetical to 1A. But could it put a stake in the heart of editorial fact checking and just let people post without censorship? Turning Twitter et al into just dumb publishers?

    • Juvenile Bluster

      It would do one of two things:

      1. No moderation at all. Anything goes.
      2. Much, much heavier moderation than we see now. Anything remotely questionable is removed.

      The odds are far more likely that the result would be the latter rather than the former.

      • Raston Bot

        we’ll all be equally uninformed.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        I think the one positive may be that Twitter will crack down on insane Twitter lynch mobs. Think Covington.

      • Suthenboy

        So, death of tweeter.

        I wont lose a minute of sleep.

      • UnCivilServant

        Just 280 characters of sleep.

      • The Hyperbole

        Yep, that’s the way I feel about all the businesses that I never went to that won’t survive the Fallacious Flu Freakout, Fuck ’em.

    • Winston

      Trump trying to strip CDA Section 230 liability protection from social media.

      What authority does he have do this? Commerce Clause? General Welfare? FYTW?

    • Raston Bot

      just copied this from a David Harsanyi piece…

      Have conservatives forgotten Citizens United or the IRS scandal?

      “Maybe they’ll remember when Attorney General Kamala Harris is overseeing the White House Office of Digital Strategy and regulating online speech.”

      /shudder

      • Winston

        TOP MEN will save us…

      • hayeksplosives

        Was she top or bottom? Or both?

        Wait—I don’t want to know. Carry on.

    • R C Dean

      Trump trying to strip CDA Section 230 liability protection from social media.

      Didn’t read the whole thing, but it looked like the guts of it was calling for rulemaking to define who qualifies for the statutory immunity. In principle, I don’t like rulemaking at all. But he inherited the administrative state, so there’s a certain goose and gander thing here. Downside: one day, the lunatic Dems will inherit this and turn it to their advantage.

  27. Juvenile Bluster

    Trump says he’d like to leave twitter but he can’t because he needs to get his message out there and the fake news media won’t let him.

    Which is one of the reasons I said the other day that Trump needs Twitter a lot more than Twitter needs Trump.

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      It’s a symbiotic relationship. If Trump left Twitter it’s not like most of his haters and journalists wouldn’t also set-up accounts on the other platform. How else are the going to complain about the shit he says? I like to think that he won’t leave Twitter, because he doesn’t know how to download a new app on his phone

      • hayeksplosives

        I’d like to think that new apps on the POTUS phone get vetted first by cyber security experts.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Our former Secretary of State couldn’t even keep her email in the right servers.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Well, maybe. All those Clinton Foundation “donations” were paying for something.

  28. Derpetologist

    fun fact language fact: the celebratory trilling that women in east Africa do is called vigelegele. I don’t know if the they borrowed from Arabs or the other way around.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoCGRlhJvFY

    and yes, every Tanzanian music video has a minimum of 500 backup dancers

    wiki sez

    ***
    Ululation is commonly used in Middle Eastern Weddings. In the Arab World, zaghārīt (Arabic: زغاريت) is a ululation performed to honor someone. For example Zaghrit are widely performed and documented through out Egyptian movies showing traditional Egyptian weddings where women are known of their very long performed and very loud ululations.

    Among the Lakota, women yell lililili! in a high-pitched voice to praise warriors for acts of valor.

    Shakira, who is of Lebanese descent, ululated during the 2020 Super Bowl halftime performance.
    ***

    And of course, there is Xena’s battle cry.

    I do not know of any group where men make such sounds.

    • hayeksplosives

      South Sudanese women do it in church settings after a hymn or other time a person might shout “Amen!”

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      80s Hair Metal Bands?

      • Derpetologist

        I stand corrected. [puts gold star on Yusef’s Book It! button]

        4 more and you can get a personal pan pizza.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I got a star!

    • Heroic Mulatto

      Women also did it during Greco-Roman prayer and sacrifice rituals.

  29. "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

    Does Trump’s executive order now allow Joe Scarborough to sue Twitter for allow Trump to allege that he killed that one intern? Did he just play himself?

    I mean fuck Twitter and other social media outlets that censor for the Chinese, but God damn how can you be the craziest SOB on Twitter and then say “hey, we need to allow people to sue this platform for the crazy shit people post here”.

    32 Dimensional Hungry, Hungry Hippos

    • hayeksplosives

      Not 33rd degree Hungry Hippos? So no Masonic involvement yet? /jk

    • Fatty Bolger

      I think Trump understands that the only thing keeping these sites somewhat neutral right now is the threat of losing their safe harbor protection.

      • R C Dean

        Interesting. Go through the rulemaking process, publish proposed rules and take comments, but never quite get around to publishing final rules.

        I just hope he remembers to cancel the rulemaking before he leaves office.

  30. commodious spittoon

    What the FBI did to Flynn, and how.

    TW: Stefan Molyneux.

    I don’t hold any brief for Flynn. I don’t know the guy, but I’m sure he’s a bog-standard bureaucrat and lobbyist, which is to say: a scumbag. But the FBI needs to be dissolved.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      3 star general who managed to not be corrupt enough for the Obama administration.

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      When people like Glenn Greenwald and Stefan Molyneux agree on a topic you know that the FBI fucked up. The only people who think Flynn got what he deserved is basically the press (who have been wrong on literally everything about the mentally challenged brand of John Bircherism) and Democratic partisans.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Thanks for the link. Very good summary.

  31. Pope Jimbo

    This is why I could never be on the city council. Having to deal with petty disputes like this would make me go home and kill myself. A story about a dude who wants to build a community garden in his front yard.

    A few of Nguyen’s neighbors approached the podium and expressed concerns – about everything from elevated, dangerous traffic and people potentially coming into the neighborhood at all hours of the night, to “normalizing” the presence of community outsiders on front lawns. One wondered who, God forbid, was going to be responsible if “somebody decides to plant some cannabis” in there.

    When it was Nguyen’s turn at the podium, he addressed some of those speakers by name, reminding them this was his yard, his property. Nguyen declared the whole situation “sad,” and said his “fundamental liberties” had been disrespected.

    Bonus journalo-ism for putting fundamental liberties in air quotes. Everyone knows those are made up.

    • hayeksplosives

      “Community outsiders”

      But I thought we were in this together?

    • hayeksplosives

      The least they could do is give the man a decent beer.

      Congrats to him. I guess.

      • UnCivilServant

        I know “Did you just assume their gender” is a running gag, but it was a woman, and I’m guessing she picked the beer in question.

      • Winston

        Don’t Deadname…

      • Sean

        You misgendered her!

        *faints*

      • Pope Jimbo

        So Bud Light Lime?

  32. Winston

    Ah the heady days of 1996…

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Declaration_of_the_Independence_of_Cyberspace

    Governments of the Industrial World, you weary giants of flesh and steel, I come from Cyberspace, the new home of Mind. On behalf of the future, I ask you of the past to leave us alone. You are not welcome among us. You have no sovereignty where we gather.

    What went wrong?

    published online on February 8, 1996, from Davos, Switzerland

    Oh, I see…

    Commissioned for the pioneering Internet project 24 Hours in Cyberspace

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/24_Hours_in_Cyberspace

    In addition, then Vice President Al Gore contributed the introductory essay to the Earthwatch section of the website.[9] In this essay, he discusses the impact of the Internet on the environment, education, and increased communication between people.[10]

    Huh, can’t see what went wrong!

    • Heroic Mulatto

      This is why I make “wanker” hand motions when someone expresses wide-eyed prophecies over the coming age of crypto-currency. I was there at the beginning of the cypherpunk movement. I saw how government lost its shit and worked to neuter the internet, crypto, and telephony for that reason. It’s already started with cryptocurrency.

      You can’t escape from the state in cyberspace as it was a creation of the state.

      • Tundra

        Fuck, aren’t you Mr. Sunshine.

        If I’m understanding your posts today, everything sucks!

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Now you’re getting it.

      • Winston

        You can’t escape from the state in cyberspace as it was a creation of the state.

        Yes: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ARPANET

        Then there was the overly optimistic belief that Big Tech will always agree with us and the assumption that as the internet went mainstream then mainstream politics would not enter the internet…

      • Homple

        As if governments would ever give up control of currency.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Exactly. Like borders, what regulating what is legal currency and the possessing the legal monopoly to mint new currency is a essential power of the state. Take away that power and you threaten the very legitimacy of the government.

  33. Winston

    https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/amp/world-asia-china-52829176

    It is expected to criminalise:

    secession – breaking away from the country
    subversion – undermining the power or authority of the central government
    terrorism – using violence or intimidation against people
    activities by foreign forces that interfere in Hong Kongy

    Is Xi the new Abraham Lincoln? They are seceding at the behest of white supremacists after all.

    And I love the “backed by parliament” because the Chinese Congress is known for their independence.

    • Suthenboy

      Before this is over the ChiComs are going to make Hitler look like a piker and all of the enablers and sympathizers here will swear they had nothing to do with it.

      • Winston

        Are you including the libertarians who thought trade with China would liberalize it?

      • Suthenboy

        No. They were just dumb. That is easier to forgive.

        I am talking about the people that endorsed and carried water for them with their eyes open. See Thomas ‘we should be more like China’ Friedman. See Joe Biden. People that took money and did their bidding. That is unforgivable.

      • Suthenboy

        Include anyone that sucked Chinese dick to have access to their market. Include anyone who actively endorsed the Chinese govt because they love authoritarianism and are envious of them.

      • Winston

        That includes both Trudeaus of course..

    • Heroic Mulatto

      In one situation, the parties agreed to a “perpetual union”, in the other, “50 years”.

      • Winston

        About that:

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Articles_of_Confederation

        [T]he Articles of this Confederation shall be inviolably observed by every State, and the Union shall be perpetual; nor shall any alteration at any time hereafter be made in any of them; unless such alteration be agreed to in a Congress of the United States, and be afterwards confirmed by the legislatures of every State.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        I still maintain that adopting the Constitution over the Articles was largely injurious to liberty in the same way the EU’s “ever closer union” clause was.

      • Viking1865

        Yeah the second they set up a central executive and central taxation power, they were doomed in the long run. I remember learning in school about the Articles, and every thing they taught me as a bug, even then I saw as a feature.

        “There was no centralized taxation! They had no way to enforce national policy!!!!”

        The Anti Federalists were right.

      • Derpetologist

        In order to protect themselves from being conquered by an authoritarian govt, they set up an authoritarian govt.

        There’s got to be a happy medium between North Korea and Somalia. I think the US is close to the sweet spot.

        I’d be fine with restricting the right to vote to people who are net tax payers. That would fix a lot of things. I know people in the military who don’t vote because they see it as a conflict of interest and/or believe the military should be politically neutral.

      • Winston

        I would be interested in a rebuttal of all the claims advanced by the Federalists. You know Shay’s Rebellion, taxes, state debt, currency, foreign policy etc.

      • Viking1865

        The Anti Federalist Papers would be a good place to start. Interesting thing: The Federalist Papers were written by Jay, Madison, and *spits* Hamilton. Hamilton wrote 51 of the 85 Federalist Papers. The Anti Federalists, in contrast were not a trio of men writing under one name, but an actual widespread network of people. Patrick Henry probably the best known.

        The Constitution, bottom line, was put in place so that the wealthy men who had financed the American Revolution could get their money back from a central treasury. They may have even thought that the limits they had constructed would hold, long term. Although I would argue Hamilton knew from the start what he wanted, and got it.

      • Winston

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Representative_peer#Scotland

        Though the position of the Church of Scotland was “unalterably” secured, the Universities (Scotland) Act 1853 repealed the requirement that professors declare their faith before assuming a position.[18] In Ireland, the Church of Ireland was entirely disestablished in 1869,[19][20] though the Articles of Union with Ireland had clearly entrenched the establishment of that body. In December 1922, the Union with most of Ireland was dissolved upon the creation of the Irish Free State,[21] though Great Britain and all of Ireland were supposedly united “forever.” It was therefore suggested that Parliament could, if it pleased, repeal an Article of Union as well amend as any underlying principle.

    • Tundra

      The free-shit brigade was whining about fucking ‘food deserts’, before.

      Just wait, fuckers.

      • Don Escaped Australians

        that’s a good point . . . politically . . . after a fashion

        and ironic, so: funny

        but I question conflating unprincipled rough-riding with the social justice leadership (however disingenuous or unprincipled these latter folk are in and of themselves): individuals are responsible for their behaviors; intellectually, we must maintain clearheadedness on this or we’ll be forced to treat whole swathes of only tenuously-related persons as a collective. Of course, if it is found that the free-shit leadership fomented, led, or sponsored any pillaging, then that is another matter . . . but I have not heard of such.

    • robc

      It isnt their own. They go one neighborhood over. ( Source: Rodney King riots)

      • Drake

        But not two – the Beverly Hills cops stood in a line with rifles and shotguns on the border on Wilshire. They were perfectly willing to kill rioters who approached.

      • The Hyperbole

        Even in their own neighborhood the businesses aren’t ‘theirs’. Yes it’s stupid to shit where you eat, but it’s not like they are burning the shed out back that they keep their shit in.

  34. Tundra

    And we’re off!

    https://www.startribune.com/flash-looting-spreads-to-st-paul-maplewood-urges-people-to-avoid-retail-areas/570836872/

    Unrest spilled into St. Paul’s Midway midday Thursday as looters rushed into stores and pelted police cars with rocks, bricks and liquor bottles as the violent consequence of George Floyd’s death this week to the west in Minneapolis.

    Officers first responded to the Target on University Avenue around 11:30 a.m. and found between 50 and 60 people grabbing merchandise off the shelves without paying, said police spokesman Steve Linders. Many dropped the goods and ran when authorities arrived.

    Coming to a suburb near me!

    I’m told that a pawn shop one suburb over just got hit.

    • Homple

      Reminds of the late 1960s when a brick was called a Selbydale credit card.

    • Winston

      Coming to a suburb near me!

      Don’t worry you ought to be happy for the social justice being enacted.

    • Stillhunter

      From my SIL in Farmington:

      “Here’s an update in our world: looting in the streets in Minneapolis and st. Paul, some burnsville, called flash looting, son is on overnight at fleet farm and they have a huge line for gun sales…but are also putting all guns in lockdown in case of looting. 2 YMCAs evacuated today because of looting. This shit is crazy.”

      She works at a YMCA there. That’s why she mentioned that tidbit.

      • Sean

        Democrats – helping gun sales yet again. ?

      • blackjack

        There was around the block lines here, at the local gun stores when this first started. Well in Burbank, anyway. LA only has a few and I don’t really see them. These fools thought they could trade money for guns, LOL. It’s a ten day wait, one gun per month, safety certificate (10.00) tranfer fee (35) mandatory lock (going rate) and the background check.Then, you gotta do it all over again to buy ammo. The lines are starting to form again to pick them up now. Those “reasonable restrictions” ya’ll voted for? You got them!

      • Sean

        I feel bad that some Americans don’t have similar freedoms to their fellow Americans. That’s not how it’s supposed to work.

      • blackjack

        You and me both.

      • Tundra

        My son just got home from his job at Fleet Farm in Brooklyn Park. They closed at six and he and the other guys in sporting goods put up plywood over the glass doors and locked down all the guns.

        Most of the stores in my suburb are shutting down.

        This shit is getting stupid.

  35. BakedPenguin

    Well, we know summer’s started- we’re getting our daily thunderstorms here in Florida. I’m surprised I can still access the Internet, since I made the stupid decision to have satellite wi-fi.

    • The Glib Formerly Known As BEAM

      Oddly enough, that’s pretty much how we know summer’s started here, too, even though we’re 4000 klicks apart.

    • whiz

      Here in Iowa, it’s the tornado warnings.

  36. robc

    The Last Days of the Permanent Floating Riot Club, by Larry Niven. I think I got the title right.

  37. Count Potato

    “When the State kills a black man.. setting Autozones on fire and looting Targets is high on the list of dumbass ways to respond

    Imagine being so much of a brainlet that you can’t actually direct your frustration to the actual aggressors”

    “The State Kills Black Man… so set Autozone on fire”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hm0oZKadPnI

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      Somebody doesn’t realize that they don’t see just the cops as the enemy.

    • Winston

      Autozones are capitalist exploiters…

  38. Winston

    https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.macleans.ca/opinion/canadas-left-have-failed-hong-kong/amp/

    We feel alone. As progressives, human rights activists and Hong Kong pro-democracy supporters, we have been abandoned by the left. Whether we are discussing the treatments of Uyghurs, Tibetans, Hongkongers, Falun Gong practitioners or Chinese by the hands of the Chinese Communist regime, we are left behind by our fellow progressives, the supposed human rights champions.

    We thought our community would be there behind us as we lend our voices to those suffering under the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). While the Liberal government chooses to ignore the nuances in the Chinese community fabric, we have also been abandoned by the New Democratic Party and the Greens over petty partisanship.

    • The Glib Formerly Known As BEAM

      Yep. The Hair That Walks Like A Man™ never met a principle of the left that he couldn’t abandon whenever it suited him. ’Course, he has plenty of company here in Canuckistan.

  39. Derpetologist

    It seems STEVE SMITH has been writing his own versions of some of my favorite tunes: Big Rock Candy Mountains, King of the Road…

    Maybe he could do a cover of Man of Constant Sorrow, I’ve Been Everywhere, or 16 Tons next? Extra credit for The Gambler or Big Iron.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ov4epAJRPMw

      • The Hyperbole

        Jesus that’s horrible, stock Clinton -hate stuff* plus bad, bad singing and rhyming. A good parody song has to be able to stand on it’s own, from a production and a cleverness standpoint.

        * not that she doesn’t deserve the hate but it should take more than ‘The Clinton’s kill people and steal money-HAHAHA’ to rate a quality parody cover.

      • The Hyperbole

        No, just No. Good god man did you listen to that, are you tone deaf? seriously that singing and the singing in the one before is absolutely atrocious. If you can’t sing just write it out as parody lyrics we can then imagine someone with at least some chops signing it, But that is painful, I feel sorry for the dude who thought this was a good idea, he probably makes many bad decisions in life.

      • Derpetologist

        I agree the singing was poor. Bad singing made it funnier for me.

        A lot of music has poor singing in my view, but I still like some of it.

        Bob Dylan is painful for me to listen to, but lots of people like it. Ditto for Josh Groban.

      • blackjack

        How does it feel? To have your nose stuffed up for real, like a congested groan….

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Bob Dylan is painful for me to listen to, but lots of people like it. Ditto for Josh Groban.

        That’s only proof that the world deserves to burn.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      Is she saying that black people can’t be trusted not to murder people when they have guns? It sounds like she’s saying that.

      • Homple

        If so, she’s not alone. Check out Chicago’s gun laws.

      • Q Continuum

        Check out pretty much the entire history of the gun control movement.

    • R C Dean

      Now imagine if these protestors were open carrying semiautomatic rifles and handguns like white gun extremists are at statehouses across the country…

      You mean, like this?

      Or this?

      If only this Mom Demanding Action wasn’t completely ignorant of the Black Panthers and their history of protesting-while-packing. There’s no need to imagine it. Its actually happened.

    • leon

      It was only white people protesting at the statehouses.

  40. DEG

    “What this pandemic means is we just can’t come together,” Orr said. “We really have to stay apart so we can come together again sooner rather than later. It’s clear that we just aren’t going to be ready for this.”

    Go fuck yourself.

    Former Vice President Joe Biden mangled his history in a strange mash-up of D-Day, Pearl Harbor Day and the day that Delaware declared independence from Pennsylvania.

    That’s an easy mistake to make.

  41. DEG

    Op-Ed from the Reopen NH folks

    Science and experience has demonstrated that governments worldwide overreacted to the COVID-19 threat and perpetuated misleading information to manipulate the public and consolidate power. Despite these revelations, Gov. Chris Sununu is poised to extend his no longer “State of Emergency” order yet again next week so he may continue acting as the state’s new supreme autocrat.

    In His Excellency’s mercy, Sununu has now allowed you to have a workout class with others and stay-six-feet apart, but you can’t use the rowing machine by yourself that was already six-feet apart from everything else before COVID hit. You can eat outdoors under a tent if the restaurant owner is lucky enough to have the space, but you can’t eat indoors in a large banquet hall with the same distance between tables. Your hair stylist can see three clients back-to-back for one hour each, but Gov-forbid you have one appointment that lasts three hours. And these are just some of the arbitrary dictates.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The governors aren’t designing these mandates. It’s the twenty something staffers and public health “experts” that are getting their shot at power.

      The governors should be shutting their lackeys down but instead are cowards that fear being accused of letting someone die.

  42. quincy

    Go NC Dinos!

    • Q Continuum

      Nurses can one of two ways: bitter and cynical or truly nurturing.

      Both seem equally cock hungry however.

    • Trigger Hippie

      I too cannot survive without a floral print cock pillow.

      • Q Continuum

        Floral Print Cock Pillow would be a great band name.

      • Trigger Hippie

        The t-shirts for their first big tour are already printed!

    • AlmightyJB

      I have that tatoo

    • slumbrew

      My buddy supervises a parking garage at one of the local hospitals. He regularly finds empty vodka bottles after each shift.

      He also found a nurse sleeping in her car because she didn’t want to risk her compromised family member and arranged for one of the local hotels to put her up (they were doing that for others) – he’s a mensch.

  43. Hyperion

    I thought the failure to launch this week was the worst thing that I would experience this week. It wasn’t.

    I got beyond sick of ink cartridges for ink jet printers printers, because either you pay more for the ink than you paid for the printer or you get the cheap cartridges from Amazon and half of them fail because the printer does not recognize the cartridge and you waste part of a day trying different ones.

    So I thought, I’ll get a laser jet. But guess what, probably better quality, but toner cartridges and they’re expensive, and the cheap ones on Amazon may be you the same grief.

    So, I bought a Tank printer. No more cartridges, yay! Or at least I hope it’s good news. They are not cheap.

    Anyway, I went to set it up and I pulled out the quick start instructions.

    Step 2: Fill the tank with ink. Do not drink the ink!

    OFFS, it’s going to take a damn miracle to save the human race from extinction. You do not tell the idiots to NOT drink the ink, you let them drink it and clean out the gene pool! But we’ve lost our way and now there are more idiots than people with a functional brain, and they vote! We.are.so.fucked.

    • The Hyperbole

      If you’ve been bested by people that drink ink then you deserve what you’ve gotten.

      • Hyperion

        * hears whoooshing sound*

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Well, we did elect them to office.

    • quincy

      Shouldl we call you Wonko the Sane?

      • Hyperion

        I’d prefer Supreme Shitlord, but that works.

    • Plinker762

      I get the cheap Brother laser printers. The toner cartridges still work out cheaper than ink and don’t plug up. I also need waterproof drawings because I usually get coolant on them when using the mill. What really hate about inkjets is that they use the color ink when printing black and white.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Just got my first Brother printer for the office. So far so good.

    • Stillhunter

      I bought a laser printer a couple weeks ago since I was sick of inkjet expense and drying up. So far I love it. Yes, the toner is spendy, but I should get a couple thousand pages per set of cartridges ($200 for the set) vs the 50 or so I was getting for $40 in ink cartridges.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I’m still running on the original toner cartridges for my color laser printer. 6 years later, and a few of the colors are showing the first signs of needing replacement. Never again will I get an inkjet.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Inkjets are the Gillette Mach 83 razors of printers.

      • slumbrew

        I feel kind of guilty that work pays for the ink (and the printer itself). Kind of. But not really.

    • Hyperion

      DeWine reminds me of a Jeb Bush clone.

  44. DEG

    Court orders Karl Manke to close, he will continue doing business. Not all heroes wear capes.

    A local judge has been ordered by the Michigan Court of Appeals to issue a preliminary injunction that would immediately shut down Owosso barber Karl Manke.

    Shiawassee County Circuit Judge Matthew Stewart had previously ruled against the state of Michigan’s request for the injunction to close Manke’s shop, a battle that has drawn nationwide attention and become a rallying point for those frustrated by Gov. Gretchen Whitmer’s executive order requiring certain businesses to close due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

    Manke, 77, told The Associated Press Thursday, May 28, that he got the news while cutting someone’s hair and said he doesn’t intend to comply with the order.

    • R C Dean

      Time for the trial judge to step up and . . . just not get around to issuing that injunction.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Who do they expect to enforce the injunction? Are they gonna raid with a swat team to arrest this old coot? I’d love to be his lawyer if they get video of that.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        They’ll give him the Roger Stone treatment.

      • Ted S.

        The authorities wanted the video of Flynn getting arrested, they’ll do all they can to keep there from being video of Manke getting arrested.

      • The Hyperbole

        He threatened to kill someone’s dog?

  45. Derpetologist

    I don’t know why I like this weird cartoon, but I do: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzUjCPt6Kck

    Sadly, it does not feature eastern Europe’s favorite cat and mouse team, Worker and Parasite.

    ENDUT! HOCH HET!

  46. Tom Teriffic

    In a private dining room at the Mandarin Oriental, Hyde Park, Late May 2020.

    Well, our little epidemic appears to be fizzling out. We launched the campaign a bit too soon, I fear.

    It would appear so. Any other ideas to keep the muppets distracted until the Yanks have their little election?

    Hmmmm. It’s a bit evergreen, but why not try the old “white cop kills a black citizen” gambit again? With a bit of luck and encouragement from our friends, it could spin into a full-on race war. Then we could have the papers politicize it heavily. Divide and conquer and all that, what?

    Evergreen, indeed. It could be that too many people have had that tired old “race card” played, usually unfairly. They may not cooperate willingly this time. They’re not racist, they know it and they aren’t going to fall for the ruse again.

    But the youth have not yet been exposed to excess, their rage is easy to excite and they are so gullible. That could well carry it.

    Let me make a few calls.