Wednesday Afternoon Links

by | Jul 1, 2020 | Daily Links | 290 comments

Hey guys. Happy Wednesday. Linking and running again. Maybe I can stick around one afternoon. Maybe.

Looks like its still okay to make fun of white boys from single parent homes in Texas, or the new Beavis & Butthead is gonna be really bad. Also, thanks to robc for using his wishing power for this.

Actual science.

This story is getting a little strange. Or maybe its just because whoever wrote this seemed more interested in padding column inches than writing an informing article.

Hey, an actor called a director abusive. I think we should get a mob together and run him out of town.

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

290 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    Hasn’t Joss Whedon been accused a bunch of times already?

    • Overt

      I don’t know, but I always got the Weinstein vibes from him. I have just seen him put on the “ultra feminist man” schtick a little too hard, a few too many times that I felt like he was hiding something. Which is a shame, because I love so much of his work.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I think you can safely accuse him of being really into skinny chicks.

      Summer Glau, Amy Acker, Alyson Hannigan, etc…

      • Count Potato

        Amy Acker was really skinny. Glau had muscle though.

        I read that Jewel Staite gained weight for Firefly.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I will readily admit that the ballerina look is a turn on.

      • DEG

        I read that Jewel Staite gained weight for Firefly.

        If I remember correctly, either Wheedon or her talked about it in the commentary track on the Firefly DVDs.

        I think she looked hot in both, but hotter in the TV series.

      • Ed Wuncler

        Summer Glau…what a dream boat.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Yesssss….

      • Tundra

        Kristy Swanson was (is) just right.

      • Chafed

        ^^^ This guy gets it

    • Hyperion

      I demand that the Tater be given his firstest award!

      • Chafed

        +1 ass slapping gif

    • SugarFree

      His ex-wife accused him of sleeping with the actresses he worked with during their divorce. None of them came forward to back her up.

      Can you imagine a world where the word of your ex-wife is enough to keeping you from getting work for the rest of your life? I mean, ex-wife, is there more of a biased source for 99.9% of men? And isn’t she killing the goose that lays the golden alimony checks?

      • Mad Scientist

        Divorce is often more about FUCK YOU than anything else.

      • hayeksplosives

        “ And isn’t she killing the goose that lays the golden alimony checks?”

        Revenge and spite are their own rewards for some people.

  2. Swiss Servator

    Ammonia to bronze?! Next up, urine to gold!!!

    /Alchemist

    • The Other Kevin

      So San Fracisco’s streets will be literally paved with gold?

      • zwak

        Fools gold.

    • Suthenboy

      1. Turns lead into gold.
      2. Becomes deliriously excited
      3. Runs gold to the market
      4. Discovers the price of gold is now lower than the price of lead

      • Mad Scientist

        I could use some gold bullets.

      • EvilSheldon

        Gold apparently makes shitty bullets.

      • Chafed

        Tell that to the man with the golden gun.

      • Mad Scientist

        OK, but it’s a great conductor. Bring on the gold wiring!

      • Not Adahn

        It probably makes better foil than aluminum too.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I use hammered gold leaf on my cranium.

        The installation is a real bitch, but it’s worth the effort.

      • Spudalicious

        Do you hammer it before, or after you put it on your head? Might make a difference.

    • Chafed

      Send me your prospectus.

  3. The Other Kevin

    Didn’t they already try to bring back Beavis and Butthead?

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Yeah *checks wikipedia* 9 years ago!

      I was too young for the first go-round but I did check out the first revival. I didn’t get it.

      • Not Adahn

        I think there were congressional hearings about it.

        Moral panics were so much gentler then.

      • Chipwooder

        Yes, when Fritz Hollings infamously called them “Buffcoat and Beaver” on the Senate floor.

      • Not Adahn

        Ffffffire! Fire! Fire!

      • Suthenboy

        You are kidding? Really?
        I grew up around guys just like Beavis and Butthead.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Me too

      • Bobarian LMD

        My Mom still tells me and my brother “he -he, shut up ass-munch!” when we give her grief.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m going to be disappointed if you don’t put underwear on your head and yell

        I AM CORNHOLIO!

    • Hyperion

      I’m not sure how those guys could be funny today. The daily news is more stupid than that show ever was.

      • Rhywun

        Plus, well, humor is dead.

  4. Don Escaped the Quality Department

    “If you tickle the electrons a bit so that they’re more energetically excited, you can start looking at some crazy reactions that would never otherwise happen,” McMullen said.

    That’s pretty much half of all chemistry

    • The Other Kevin

      Oy these euphamisms!

  5. Count Potato

    “In the new incarnation, Beavis and Butt-Head will enter a “whole new Gen Z world” with meta-themes that are said to be relatable to both new fans who may be unfamiliar with the original series and old. ”

    The joke was that B & B-H were watching MTV, same as the audience. Does MTV even show videos anymore?

    • Drake

      Is MTV still on?

      • Gender Traitor

        I think so, but I don’t know what the “M” is for any more. I’m even having a hard time finding concerts on MTV Live.

      • Hyperion

        “but I don’t know what the “M” is for any more”

        Morons. Pretending to be reality TV stars.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Confession, I watch The Challenge on MTV. I’m sorry everyone.

      • Chafed

        Apology accepted

      • Trolleric the Goth

        I remember last time this was brought up there were fellow glib challenge fans

        (iirc it was what’s her face the british broad that was sleeping with Bear being linked)

      • The Other Kevin

        There is a block of “I love my 80’s” and “I love my 90’s” channels on DirecTV that plays videos, but none of them are MTV.

    • The Other Kevin

      Considering how much time kids will spend watching YouTube videos of people playing video games and people watching other videos, it might actually be a hit.

      • Fatty Bolger

        It will probably be too tame to appeal to the kids who might like it.

    • Bobarian LMD

      “Ain’t you them kids that have been whackin’ off in my tool shed?”

      • Joseph Adams, Tauron Cultural appropriator

        Travis and Bob

      • The Other Kevin

        “You’re not drunk. You’re just stupid.”

    • Chipwooder

      There’s an MTV Classic that shows videos, but I think that’s it.

    • UnCivilServant

      Faaake.

      No one watches MTV.

      • Not Adahn

        Isn’t that where the Snooki show aired?

    • B.P.

      In case you want to bone up on Gen Z to better understand the Bevis and Butthead reboot, here’s some help from the NY Post:

      https://nypost.com/2020/06/30/gen-z-were-the-greatest-generation/

      ““We’re very tied to our beliefs,” says Iza Schilling, 19, an Upper West Sider who says it’s common for her cohort to “cut people off” if political differences come up.”

      “Ironically, Victoria may use his time off from virtual college courses to more carefully craft his online presence. “There’s so many experiences you can get from social media, if you get that social standing,” says Victoria, who is working on snapping up lucrative brand partnerships and “dedicating more time” to his channels, much like his favorite YouTuber.”

      • PBRstreetgang

        Anybody remember when we were concerned about this generation had low self esteem?

      • Rhywun

        “We’re super inclusive and welcoming”

        LOL

  6. Ted S.

    My condolences to those of you in Pennsylvania.

    • grrizzly

      Everyone will be forced to obey.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Always. But, did something happen?

      • Agent Cooper

        What’s this Constitution thing?

      • Sean

        I had stopped uttering foul curses upon him and his family. Looks like I’m back to that. ?

      • creech

        Didn’t the Pa. court rule that Gauleiter von Wolf’s order was un-constitutional? As usual, gutless GOP majority in Harrisburg caves in.

      • DEG

        Fuck.

      • Mojeaux

        Kansas City MO mandated that. Walmart (“across the bridge”) from where I live is in KCMO (huge city boundaries). Very few people without masks, but I was one of them and no one stopped me.

        Hobby Lobby (on “my side of the bridge”) is in my little city, but also had a “pursuant to local directives, masks are required”. Yeah, no.

        I only went one place (a “deli” that makes its own kielbasa nom nom nom) that had a big sign to wear masks (did not mention the gummint), so I did, but the employees weren’t wearing them.

    • Sean

      I’m not wearing one outdoors. I sling an AR pistol over my shoulder, fuckers will stay more than 6 feet away from me.

    • zwak

      It seems Oregon has gone there also. Well, at least the election is decided for me now.

    • Not an Economist

      Coming Friday to Dayton Ohio.

  7. Don Escaped the Quality Department

    A lawyer representing the family of Vanessa Guillen, a 20-year-old soldier reported missing from a U.S. Army base in Texas in April, said Wednesday they’re demanding accountability after it appears her body has been found and a suspect killed himself.

    Looks like you’re going to be limited to pissing on his grave

    • Not Adahn

      Accountability from an individual? Pshaw! The system is responsible!

      Plus the DoD has really deep pockets.

      • Don Escaped the Quality Department

        I’m a moron that way: the potential of photo ops and exploitation just don’t occur to me

    • Fourscore

      Looked like a lot of info was left out and sort of tough to follow what actually happened but in any case 2 are dead, the victim and the alleged perp. Came a day after the victim’s family got an attorney and started demanding answers.

      Latina lives matter

    • Drake

      There are projects underway, too. For the last year, Eureka Forge has been restoring a set of exquisite iron gates, reproductions of the ones in front of Rome’s Cathedral of San Pietro in Vincoli, attributed to legendary blacksmith and designer Samuel Yellin.

      Those are gone now.

      • Hyperion

        Someone needs to be making license plates until that is paid for.

    • Suthenboy

      My only disappointment with that story is that they didnt shoot any of the commie thug POS that invaded their property and threatened them.

    • Joseph Adams, Tauron Cultural appropriator

      Wow, that’s a labor of love,

    • Stillhunter

      It is wonderful piece of history. Not my bag, but they are obviously passionate about it and good for them for investing the time and money to restore it. Hopefully when they are gone someone will take over.

      Of course the comments are over run with dipshits.

      • Rhywun

        It will be subdivided into apartments and run down within a year or two.

  8. Certified Public Asshat

    Reality is coming for white supremacists driving golf carts https://t.co/dx4vM4taww— Paul Krugman (@paulkrugman) June 30, 2020

    Nice guy that Krugman.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      JFC, what an asshole.

      It would be best if I were never alone with him, because the NAP may get violated.

      • Drake

        You would be defending us all from further assault on our sanity.

      • invisible finger

        Krugnuts already violated it. You’re good.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      He gives cuntes a bad name.

    • whahappan

      A buddy of mine used to work IT at Princeton. I told him to punch Krugman in the throat if he ever ran into him on campus.

  9. CPRM

    Adult animation continues to be a growth genre on broadcast, cable and streaming platforms. In success, shows like Rick and Morty repeat well and bring in younger audiences and can often lead to profitable merchandising lines. Franchises like Family Guy and Bob’s Burgers, for example, are considered to be worth billions. What’s more, animated series are able to be produced remotely during the coronavirus pandemic that has shut down hundreds of film and TV projects.

    Is it My Time Down Here?

    • Hyperion

      We have to have an animated Space Hat episode soon.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        HAAAAAAAATTTTSSSSSSS INNNNNNNNNN SPAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCE

  10. Count Potato

    “‘No more of Jared’s woke s**t!’ Donald Trump tells allies he regrets following Kushner’s advice on criminal justice reform and will follow his own instincts – as he calls Black Lives Matter sign a ‘hate symbol'”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8480263/No-Jareds-woke-s-t-Trump-regrets-criminal-justice-bill.html

    “De Blasio says ‘Black Lives Matter’ will be painted outside Manhattan’s Trump Tower in ‘a matter of days’ as he taunts the President by saying the mural ‘might help him get the point'”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8480247/Black-Lives-Matter-painted-outside-Trump-Tower-matter-days.html

    This is just going to get more and more retarded, isn’t it?

    • Not Adahn

      I’m no derpetologist.

      But yes.

    • grrizzly

      But sources told Axios he feels the bill, which he signed in December 2018, has hurt him politically

      I have my doubts about the reporting. In which did it hurt him? It was the basis of his Super Bowl commercial in February.

      • Hyperion

        The democrats will once again get what they want by stopping Republicans from doing any type of police reform. And when they get power again, they will drop any talk of it like a hot potato.

    • The Other Kevin

      I’m pretty sure a lot of individual cops will vote for Trump, but is there any chance police unions will officially stop endorsing Dem candidates?

    • Not Adahn

      It must be nice to be able to troll people you don’t like with practically unlimited resources extracted from people you hate.

    • Suthenboy

      Some of us keep saying their is no peak Derp. I have tried to point out over and over that Derp isn’t a mountain with a peak. It is a plateau. It’s walls are high and it’s top stretches farther than the eye can see.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Peak Retard is a myth.

    • Agent Cooper

      I don’t believe any of the article anyway.

    • Bobarian LMD

      The new symbol will depict brave Sir Robin bravely wetting himself at the Battle of Badon Hill.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        *outright prolonged laughter*

    • Not Adahn

      They give out stars for all ranks now? Or is that unique to the Order of St. Michael and St. George?

    • leon

      It would be funny if the Queen said “Fuck you, if you don’t like my knighthood you can be a dirty peasent like you were before i made you a knigth”. But honestly i don’t give a shit cause thats all Stupid European shit.

      • UnCivilServant

        “For disrespect of the crown and its offices, the following people have been expelled from the orders of St. Michael and St. George…”

    • Chipwooder

      I fucking hate everyone, exhibit 377C

    • IntraveneousWoodChipper

      St. George and the Dragon is, apart from King Arthur, Britain’s most recognizable national myth that has bound Englishmen together for hundreds of years.

      No wonder the Wokistanis want to get rid of it.

      • Jarflax

        It is past time for Arthur to return.

  11. Drake

    So the CDC are fucking retards liars and all the “spike” stories that caused more lockdowns are bullshit.

    We’ve learned that the CDC is making, at best, a debilitating mistake: combining test results that diagnose current coronavirus infections with test results that measure whether someone has ever had the virus. The upshot is that the government’s disease-fighting agency is overstating the country’s ability to test people who are sick with COVID-19. The agency confirmed to The Atlantic on Wednesday that it is mixing the results of viral and antibody tests, even though the two tests reveal different information and are used for different reasons.

    This is not merely a technical error. States have set quantitative guidelines for reopening their economies based on these flawed data points.

    So all along, they have been mixed new results of the antibody test which tells you if you ever had the covid, in with the results of people who are actively sick. So of course there was a “spike” as more people got tested. Lots of those people aren’t sick and are no longer infected. In fact they are now immune and cannot get it again.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

      I’ll be reviewing that article tonight.

      • Ted S.

        I may be kidding you, but no way am I fucking you.

      • Count Potato

        I read the same thing last week.

    • leon

      This is not merely a technical error. States have set quantitative guidelines for reopening their economies based on these flawed data points.

      The error is thinking that they don’t know this.

    • The Other Kevin

      That would explain the death rates and hospitalizations not increasing, and that more young people are testing positive (because they had it a while back and never had symptoms).

    • Count Potato

      That’s even ignoring the whole point to flattening the curve in the first place.

      • pan fried wylie

        SHUT UP CURVETARD.

    • mrfamous

      At this point you can assume every single news story coming out about this is being told in a way to achieve a specific political effect. The idea that anyone is trying to convey actual information to you is laughable.

      • Suthenboy

        ^This^
        Orangebadman must go no matter how many people have to die, no matter the damage to the economy.

      • invisible finger

        So we have a 2% competency rate among state health bureaucrats and their understanding of statistics.

    • Count Potato

      That pic is very old.

    • Bobarian LMD

      It’s a Trump warning. OrangeMan is gonna be stomping Yellow Man’s balls.

    • Suthenboy

      They are so weird in so many ways. You might say….inscrutable.

    • Agent Cooper

      Don’t you mean yellow courtesy phone?

      I’ll cancel myself now.

    • Sensei

      I’m off to Zoom Japanese lessons. See you all in two hours.

      http://www.joeydevilla.com/2006/07/11/exciting-new-doritos-flavour/

      From the comments – no idea on accuracy of the fetish part…

      電気アンマ (pronounced “denki anma”, and yes the 電気 means electricity) is the term for attacking a dude by stepping your foot on his nads and then vibrating your foot. It appears to be a common Japanese porn fetish, if Google is any indication. The last two characters are 復活 (pronounced “fukkatsu”) which means “revival” or “resurrection”.

  12. Hyperion

    So apparently, antifa is challenging the Hell’s Angel Biker gang to a fight.

    • Hyperion

      Hell’s Angels, with an S, those guys.

      • Brett L

        The gang who made their name by getting together and beating the living fuck out of anyone who attacks one of their members? That should be fun.

      • Hyperion

        I’d be doing some research if I were them. It sounds like a trap. antifa would pee their pants and run home to mommy is they saw those guys coming. Sounds like a trap by some far left operatives, like democrat mayors or governors.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’ll be honest. I would pay money to watch them get pummeled into a bloody mess m

      • Chipwooder

        Oh, most definitely.

        It would never happen. Antifa only attack when they have huge numerical superiority and when they are ganging up on unarmed people. 1%ers are not going to be unarmed.

      • UnCivilServant

        They need someone to play the part of the “right-wingers” in their LARPing. It would complete the narrative.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        O/U on dead Antifa? 10, 20?

    • Drake

      They challenged the Mongols and the Hell’s Angels – then cancelled the “event.” I would have watched on pay-per-view.

    • Chipwooder

      I mean, if you believe the story as written, it’s not as if they went seeking a confrontation with 1%ers – they said something like they were going to march through this town and said no one was going to keep them out, and the bikers let the soybois know that they would be waiting for them.

      This falls into a category along with the Crips running antifa out of Long Beach.

      • Hyperion

        It’s sort of like what I said about the CHOP saga, early on. So you set up an ‘autonomous zone’ and you effectively set up a power vacuum. So you establish your terf and start shaking down the residents for ‘protection money’. This doesn’t go unnoticed and then you get competition when hardcore criminals, like mafia or gangbangers move in. How long are these kids, mommy boys, going to last against elements like that? They’re doing exactly what you call LARPing, only they will quickly run into people who are not playing.

      • Ed Wuncler

        Isn’t that kind of how revolutions happen? You think about it, the communist revolution in Russia was driven by the middle class and intellectuals but the hard motherfuckers like Lenin and Stalin where able to seize power and create a dictatorship.

      • Hyperion

        Yes, exactly that. When the useful idiots are no longer useful, you line them up against the wall.

        We don’t teach history anymore in public school. I’m not sure what we teach, kids come home not even knowing what bathroom they’re supposed to use.

      • Mojeaux

        XX had two history teachers go off on how the communists were responsible for millions of deaths and that communism is evil. One of the had a Gadsden flag in his room. He and I had a lovely chat.

        So there is hope.

    • Animal

      Will it be a pay-per-view thing? Because I’d watch the shit out of that.

  13. UnCivilServant

    *inchoate howl of rage*

    I get through the mostly empty boxes (only containing packing material, stuff like that), find a stack of already broken down boxes from the last time I tried to deal with the box problem, then find boxes that are still full of stuff. I don’t want to get derailed, but I also need to clear the space, which means figuring out what this stuff is and how to deal with it.

    • Joseph Adams, Tauron Cultural appropriator

      I say go make dinner and have a beer and forget it til tomorrow

      • UnCivilServant

        Dammit, I’m going to do something productive today. Now that the day job isn’t holding me back, I’ve got to tackle a project within my ability to complete.

    • Suthenboy

      I have had that problem before.

      1. Begin looking through boxes.
      2. Realize your life has been fine and you haven’t touched any of the stuff for over a decade.
      3. Say Fuck it
      4. Throw it all in the trash

      Millstone dealt with.

      • UnCivilServant

        No, it’s more like “Begin looking through boxes – oh, I’ve been looking for that.”

      • Joseph Adams, Tauron Cultural appropriator

        This, I have a house full of that stuff

      • Overt

        We got a slab leak right before coronaggedon shut everything down. We are now finally at a point where we can replace our destroyed floors, so we have been re-packing all of our crap so that it can be moved from room to room as they replace the tiles.

        I have found it goes like this:

        1) Begin packing and ask why the hell you have all this stuff
        2) create a donation box
        3) throw some stuff away
        4) procrastinate
        5) Throw everything in boxes because you don’t have time to ask every member of the house if you can get rid of that stuffed animal.
        6) Going to the goodwill (if it isn’t closed by coronaggedon) is too hard, so move the donations box along with the other boxes.

  14. grrizzly

    Do comments with 2 links go to moderation?

    • UnCivilServant

      It’s been up to three for a while now.

      • grrizzly

        Yes, that was rather unusual.

    • Joseph Adams, Tauron Cultural appropriator

      Only yours

    • Mad Scientist

      Yes. Should be approved now.

      • grrizzly

        Thanks.

  15. Scruffy Nerfherder

    The mutt is trying to climb in my lap because of the thunderstorms.

    I think he’s a Chihuahua/Whippet mix, a Chihuippet, if you will.

    • Don Escaped the Quality Department

      a Muwahahaha?

      • pan fried wylie

        Fucking. A.

    • Not Adahn

      That sounds like an extremely twitchy mix.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Very weird looking, but people friendly lap dog.

    • Ted S.

      When a problem comes along, you must whippet.

      • Oy the Billy-Bumbler

        Whippet good

    • Chipwooder

      No shit?? Our beloved late Lucy dog was suspected to be a chihuahua/whippet mix. That was our vet’s guess, anyway. She was a wonderful dog. A bit skittish and neurotic, and decidedly unfriendly to most other dogs, but very devoted to us. Always had to be close to us.

      • Tundra

        Awww.

        He’s not weird looking at all. What a good boy!

      • Tulip

        What a sweetheart

    • Bobarian LMD

      My daughter’s Shi Chon? (Shi Tzu/Bichon) would literally try to get on my head or lay on my face whenever thunder/fireworks were to be heard.

      I ended up buying him a ‘Thundershirt’ that worked much better than I actually though it would.

      • Tundra

        Cool!

        My poor GSD was a wreck this time of year. Not a fan of the fireworks.

      • I'm Here To Help

        My neighbor uses a thundershirt with her dog for the thunderstorms we get here. Biggest problem my pups have is with the people shooting at their backyard ranges – I spent last night with a 60 pound shepherd/pit bull mix pressed up against me for comfort due to the shooting.

        I had one dog that had to come from a line of war dogs (rotweiller/pit bull mix) – she was skittish around people, other dogs, you name it. But when it came to fireworks, she was in her element. New Years Eve in Germany put most of the 4th of July pyrotechnics to shame, and that dog would be out on the patio bouncing around, howling, and having the time of her life. She even liked partaking – any unattended wine glasses would be very stealthily emptied by that dog. It was really strange – she didn’t do that any other time of the year, but New Years was her thing…

    • TARDIS

      Our only “canine” now is a Chug. Chihuahua/Pug mix.

      Never.Again.

    • Viking1865

      A new low? They have been harvesting prisoners actual vital organs for years now. Hair is not in any way, shape, or form a new low.

    • Suthenboy

      Lefty media promptly stick their heads in the sand.

      • Hyperion

        The left are hoping China has enough room in their camps for all the deplorables. ‘We don’t know what happened, maybe it was the Raptue?’.

  16. B.P.

    Today: Colorado’s Governor re-closes bars for another 30 days.

    Also today: Colorado Liquor Enforcement Division will be increasing liquor license fees:

    https://www.westword.com/restaurants/colorado-sends-notice-of-liquor-license-fee-hikes-11735708

    “Dear Liquor Stakeholders,

    On July 1, 2020, The Liquor Enforcement Division will be raising application fees and certain other fees that we are allowed to adjust. This has been decided after careful consideration by the Department management and in conjunction with our budgeting office. The LED has been experiencing a drastic reduction in the amount of fees collected due to the pandemic, and this fee adjustment is necessary in order to maintain operations and our current levels of productivity and responsiveness.”

    • mrfamous

      I have no idea what the supposed justification is for liquor licenses for in the first place, but the only time I ever see them brought up is when the government plays extortion with them to get local businesses to do what they’re told. So I can only conclude that’s the actual justification.

      The State of AZ just pulled the liquor license of an upscale Phoenix health and fitness club (it’s more of a total lifestyle club) for refusing to close due to Ducey’s order.

      I’m incredibly depressed right now. For realsies…

      • Joseph Adams, Tauron Cultural appropriator

        Our Roadhouse Closed last night, with 8 tapped, unusable Kegs, we can’t even drink it for free, or they will yank Mom’s license, we asked….

    • Suthenboy

      So….pay more for a license to own a business you are not allowed to operate?

      Let me think about that for a minute…I am sure I will come up with something.

      • Chipwooder

        I hope they were wearing Hamburgler masks when they wrote that letter. Might as well go the whole nine yards.

      • Ed Wuncler

        The businesses in Illinois begged Pritzker to hold off on the minimum wage increase set of today and forgo the campaign for a Progressive Tax amendment in the IL constitution in November despite shutting the businesses down due to COVID.

        His response was basically….nah man.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        I swear government officials think businesses are like the Fed. They simply print money.

      • invisible finger

        Pritzker owned a bank – basically a license to print money – and it went bankrupt.

        Naturally, Illinois fuckwits voted for the piece of shit to run things (into the ground, apparently).

      • Ed Wuncler

        He’s a trust fund baby who is benefiting from his forebears blood, sweat, and tears. He has no concept of business and lacks any understanding at how hard it is to pay vendor expenses and make sure you make payroll every month. I think it’s a mix of hubris, guilt for being born into a wealthy family, and incompetence.

        I bet Bruce Rauner wakes up every morning wondering how this lack wit beat him by a large margin.

      • invisible finger

        I think Rauner didn’t want to win.

      • Hyperion

        The real reason they repealed prohibition is that they (people in government) were jealous of all the money bootleggers were making and they wanted to be the new liquor mafia. They’re just protecting their racketeering operation business model.

    • Count Potato

      This whole thing is fucking stupid and ass backwards.

    • Drake

      I wonder if they are using the conflated CDC data from the story I linked above? If so, he’s destroying businesses on bad data and incompetence.

      Notice how all the institutions the left takes over stop working correctly?

    • Jarflax

      Whodda thunk that gamers don’t like preachy games that deny them every bit of the escapism they paid for?

  17. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Re Beavis and Butthead: It’ll either be emasculated and very bad or it’ll still be good but it’ll be very brief. There’s no way Judge can get away the same stuff now that he got away with then. If it is any good it’ll be canceled but my money’s on mediocre suckitude.

    • The Other Kevin

      I don’t know, South Park is somehow still around.

      • Mojeaux

        Only religion in the world not allowed to be lampooned because everyone knows they’ll get bombed to hell and back. Talk about being canceled.

      • Ed Wuncler

        That whole episode pissed me off. Not because they done it but because Comedy Central allowed Parker and Stone to rip on other religions but Islam for whatever reason is given a pass.

        What is so leery is that the Left who are all about “protecting” the downtrodden are awfully silent whenever Islamic countries mistreat women, burn gays, and kill anyone they view as an apostate. And whenever you do bring up this contradiction, they usually say, “Who are we to judge another culture?”

      • hayeksplosives

        The best way to deal with this is to air footage of actual Imams speaking to American Muslims, including the ones who are openly anti-western. Put in plenty of interviews of man in the street. Show surveys completed by US dwelling Muslims regarding their preferences on law, custom, etc. How about a dash of commentary on acceptance of homosexuality in the Muslim “community.”

        Without need for editorial comment, the footage will tell the story.

      • Joseph Adams, Tauron Cultural appropriator

        But how about Super Best Friends? Deep Seaman? Mohahmud? He had the Power of Fire, and no one noticed at the time,

      • Drake

        If Christians would man up and start killing artist how offend them, they’d get the same respect.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Just out of curiosity, what do Mormons think about Matt and Trey and their show?

      • Mojeaux

        Wry humor.

        The church made ad campaigns around it. “Saw the musical? Now read the book!”

        Voila, the difference between Mormonism and Islam. Islam will kill you. Mormons will recruit you.

      • Derpetologist

        People with a reputation of responding to insults with violence are less likely to be insulted.

        It’s the reason PETA throws fake blood on old ladies in fur instead of Hell’s Angels in leather.

        “To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize”

        The guy (not Voltaire) who said that was a scumbag, but the words are true nonetheless.

      • B.P.

        The article says that new Southpark episodes will be streamed on HBO Max 24 hours after they are shown on Comedy Central “…just as long as [they do] not mention the Prophet Muhammed.”

        This just has to result in a running gag on Southpark, where “Muhammed” is slipped into every episode.

      • Gdragon

        Introduce a new Muslim boy character at their school and give him the most common given name, Nothing wrong with that.

  18. Derpetologist

    today I learned

    ***
    The word Jedi is said to have been adapted by George Lucas from Japanese 時代劇 (jidaigeki) (meaning ‘period drama’ motion pictures about samurai), or perhaps inspired by the words Jed (Leader) and Jeddak (King) in the Barsoom series by Edgar Rice Burroughs
    ***

    great moments in classic Arab poetry

    ***
    As rendered by Eric Ormsby, one of the virtuosic yet obscene exchanges between ‘Inān and Abū Nuwās runs thus:[8]

    One day she asked him whether he was any good at scansion; when Abu Nuwas replied boastfully that he was superb at it, she said, “Try scanning this verse:

    I ate Syrian mustard on a baker’s platter…
    (akaltu ‘l-khardalah sh-shā’mi fī ṣafḥati khabbāzī…)

    Abu Nuwas broke the line into metrical feet and responded:

    Akaltu ‘l-khar…ti-tum ti-tum

    which means:

    I ate some shit ti-tum ti-tum…

    The assembled courtiers broke into loud laughter at the poet’s expense. Not to be outdone, he asked ‘Inān whether she could scan the following (rather nonsensical) verse:

    Keep your church far from us, O sons of the wood-carrier…!
    (ḥawwilū ‘annā kanīsatakum yā banī ḥammālati l-ḥaṭabi…)

    She too had to break up the metrical feet to produce:

    ḥawwilū ‘an tum-ti tum-ti nākanī….

    which comes out as

    Keep away tum-ti-tum-ti he has fucked me…
    ***

    twerking camels

    ***
    Rajaz (رَجَز, literally ‘tremor, spasm, convulsion as may occur in the behind of a camel when it wants to rise'[1]) is a metre used in classical Arabic poetry. A poem composed in this metre is an urjūza. The metre accounts for about 3% of surviving ancient and classical Arabic verse.
    ***

    camel dancing contest in India

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2XCWMs4Pqo

    • Derpetologist

      robot camel jockeys

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbzLF57VAz0

      It’s better this way. The jockeys traditionally were young boys and they got beaten almost as much as the camels.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Euphemism?

  19. Tres Cool

    Is it really Wednesday? July 1st?
    For real fr…..Ive been in a fog since I got home church Sunday (cant guarantee I wasnt on my way there, too)

    Jesus H. Koresh- I need a drink.

    • Sean

      Love that song.

      • Tres Cool

        Really.
        I woke to a text from my cousin- the one that thought she had the CoVID, but she’s up to meet her liver transplant team tomorrow for a new liver (not mine)
        She said- “can you drive me downtown Thursday?”
        I said, “Next Thursday? Sure.”
        She said, “Tomorrow, Tres”
        I said….”Fuuuuuck. Really? Its Tuesday?”
        She said, “Ummm its Wednesday.”
        I said, “Fuck…..Trash night”
        She said, “you really dont know what day it is?”
        “I do now”

      • Joseph Adams, Tauron Cultural appropriator

        Fuck , I seriously thought it was Tuesday! til right now! I knew it was the first……..
        /Senile

      • Mojeaux

        Tomorrow is XX’s bday and my annual trip to the cardiologist. *gives family history the side-eye*

      • DEG

        Happy birthday to your kid and hopefully the trip to the cardiologist goes well.

      • Mojeaux

        Thanks. It always does. EKG. A little admonition to lose some weight and discussion of my “high” blood pressure (generally around 130-140 over 80-90).

        But my heart is not something I fuck around with. My aunt had her first double bypass when she was 48. I’m 52. My dad died at 51.

        OTOH, I generally take after my mom’s side of the family and all those girls live very long lives.

      • Tres Cool

        Im with him.
        Seriously, my blood has been completely polluted for the past 4 days. I dont know why exactly, but its like Im not only trying to drink myself down the drain, but the one with the disposal in it,
        Ill apologize for anything I said that pissed someone off (unless you deserved it- and you know JUST who the fuck you are!) and take credit for anything that made someone laugh.

      • DEG

        Seconded.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Not smart, she’s lucky she didn’t lose some teeth.

    • leon

      When confronted on the brutality, the horse plead Neigh.

    • B.P.

      Looks like Great Britain to me. Maybe smacking her face on the pavement straightened her teeth out a little.

    • Oy the Billy-Bumbler

      She really hoofed it outta there after attacking the officer

      • SDF-7

        Best rein it in or Swiss will saddle you with a narrowed graze.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Hopefully he has his blinders on and won’t notice.

      • This Machine

        That’s the only way to buck his attention.

      • Oy the Billy-Bumbler

        If he comes around these parts Swissy can buck right off

      • Ted S.

        I like how you fill-y the thread with puns.

      • Jarflax

        I think narrowed gazes are just Swiss being a nag!

    • Sean

      ??

    • hayeksplosives

      She will be somehow suing the horse while arguing for its rights and its need to be free to roam London.

  20. Sean

    Goddamn Japanese beatles munching on my jalapeno plant. ?

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Shame the beetles for cultural appropriation.

    • mrfamous

      That sounds like a euphemism of some sort

    • Count Potato

      I haven’t seen one of those things in ages.

    • Tulip

      My habanero is finally growing. The jalapeno actually has blossoms.

    • Ted S.

      Lingo Starr?

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      Shouldn’t that be a jarapeno prant?

    • Count Potato

      wow

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Huh, now that’s something I didn’t know.

      • The Hyperbole

        And who would have guessed that Steve Landesburg is a good poor man’s Gene Wilder.

    • Mad Scientist

      I had no idea! This is fascinating.

    • whiz

      IMDB rating of 3.6 — maybe that’s too high.

    • Sensei

      For sure…

      I’m already loving the age related presbyopia.

  21. This Machine

    How do we make sure the protests aren’t linked to new cases of Kung Flu? Oh, right, we’ll just never ask anyone if they went to a protest.

    “We’re doing everything we can to keep New Yorkers safe while respecting individual privacy,” said de Blasio spokeswoman Avery Cohen.

    “Over the course of their interview with a tracer, a person may be asked if they were in a large crowd or event in recent weeks, with full confidence that any information they share will be protected under the fullest extent of the law.”

    And that way the official numbers never mention the number of people who admitted to attending a protest, and we can continue blaming it all on selfish people going to bars with no masks on.

  22. DEG

    Reopen NH will have an Independence Day Rally at the State House in Concord, NH on the 4th. Glibs meet-up?

    • Joseph Adams, Tauron Cultural appropriator

      Long drive for me…………

    • Joseph Adams, Tauron Cultural appropriator

      Cool ‘Splosions!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Jan Hammer haz a sad.

  23. Count Potato

    “‘Cries for help’: Drug overdoses are soaring during the coronavirus pandemic

    Suspected overdoses nationally jumped 18 percent in March, 29 percent in April and 42 percent in May, data from ambulance teams, hospitals and police shows.”

    https://twitter.com/yashar/status/1278409769024286720

    • mrfamous

      Stunning that something like this could happen. No one could have predicted that deaths of despair would suddenly skyrocket if the government took away many people’s entire reasons for living. Totally unexpected and certainly shouldn’t have been factored into the cost/benefit analysis of lockdowns.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      I read the obituary of a guy in my town who committed suicide a couple weeks ago. He suffered from depression, so maybe he would have killed himself even without the lockdown, but the lockdown almost certainly expedited the process.

    • Joseph Adams, Tauron Cultural appropriator

      “Motherfucker, I got Orange!, where do you live? Buckingham Palace?”

      • EvilSheldon

        Nope. I keep my beard trimmed.

    • B.P.

      Why is this person wearing a Christmas tree apron?

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      She called him Carl Anderson?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Best comment:

      “NYT will write up a glowing tribute to his heroic existence when he expires in some perfectly squalid way 2-3 years from now.”

    • Agent Cooper

      They kind of got a free show.

    • Rhywun

      He really should have kept his top on.

    • hayeksplosives

      But Epstein didn’t own slaves so by default he is morally better than anyone born before 1865.

      Or do we count from 1965 in recognition of the new type of slavery called welfare in which the government owns people instead of people owning people.

    • B.P.

      That took some real effort.

    • Joseph Adams, Tauron Cultural appropriator

      Awesome.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Bonus points for using Comic Sans on the inscription plate.

    • Agent Cooper

      I never knew Penny Marshall had that much coal.

  24. hayeksplosives

    I love my new watch/vitals thingy. It gives heart rate, steps, and blood pressure!

    I can’t believe this little device provides blood pressure quickly and comfortably.

    I could pair it with my phone but fitness info is all I need. Doctor wanted me on a different blood pressure but wanted me to chart my BP too. The old arm cuff was such a pain, I didn’t take it that often. Now it’s easy and there’s nothing to remember.

    • Tundra

      Cool! Which one?

      My Garmin does a bunch of stuff, but not bp. Heart rate, pulse ox, sleep tracking, activity, etc.

      Love these things.

      • hayeksplosives

        Dead thread , but it’s a V19 DSMART. BP, heart rate, SpO2, steps.

        Multi day battery because it’s not continuously checking.

  25. Joseph Adams, Tauron Cultural appropriator

    “Now it’s easy and there’s nothing to remember”
    Why I drink,

    • Rhywun

      ?

    • Joseph Adams, Tauron Cultural appropriator

      I like it…

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Bah… Potato beat me to it.