Into the AnderSun

by | Jul 14, 2020 | Fitness, Fun, Pastimes | 207 comments

 

His eyes are ablaze,
See the madman in his gaze.

Fly, on your way, like an eagle,
Fly as high as the sun,
On your way, like an eagle,
Fly and touch the sun.

—from Iron Maiden’s, Flight of Icarus

 

Prologue

Gravity had set in, inertia was taking hold. The struggle to stay active on the downward slope of middle age is real. My kick for staying fit, backpacking, was no longer practical, nor fun, for my worsening knees.

A couple summers ago, a friend suggested we go standup paddle boarding (SUP), a low-impact and excellent form of exercise and getting outdoors and on the water. Forebodingly, we weren’t able to go on the scheduled day due to a pop-up thunderstorm; such is summer in Nashville. I wouldn’t actually give SUP a try until just recently, within the context of the worldwide insanity that is 2020.

I did months of research, purchased a couple of solid boards, and alone hit my local dammed lake, J Percy Priest Reservoir, to practice SUPping to proficiency. Only then did I set out to find fellow SUPpers (I’ve never heard us called that, but it’s literally literally convenient) from whom to learn the best gear, local venues, etc. Meetup.com had zip zero nada SUP groups in the greater area, so it asked moi if I wanted to start a group. Sure. What the hell.

I rapidly learned that the members of my Meetup group’s outings were looking to me, a total novice to the sport, for leadership and pro tips. Fake it till you make it, right? I continued my solo trips, pushing myself in stronger and ever stronger winds and amid heavy boat traffic, going farther distances, even researching night SUPping gear should a group get stranded beyond dusk somehow; all in an effort to be a better SUP leader.

This training culminated in my first successful night paddle on July 2nd, and then another on J4…

 

1

No Chance of Rain

RosyRinglets, a friend with whom I’d done the J2 cherry popping night SUP, also accompanied me on J4. The weather forecast was perfect, the chance of rain was absolute zero all day and past the wee hours, and so we’d planned to head out at 1800 for a paddle, then anchor off at sunset and watch the fireworks erupt around us above the lake’s surrounding tree line.

This trip was set up as a Meetup event, but no one else RSVP’d. Had they, the original plan was to take a short trip from our launch, the Hamilton Creek Recreation Area, across the creek’s greater cove, to anchor off the opposite shore, the western side of the Anderson Road peninsula, have some beverages and snacks while enjoying the sights.

As it was, when RosyRinglets and I reached that planned anchorage, the sun was still one extended horizontal hand width above the tree line, meaning we still had an hour before sundown. I suggested that we continue north and try to reach the beach at the northeastern tip of the peninsula, a part of the Anderson Road Recreation Area. Reaching this had been a goal of mine, as a gauge to the difficulty of achieving Bear Island, across the channel north of the beach, on which to camp on a future trip. RR agreed and we sallied forth.

Crossing some smooth but large-wake-filled open water, I reflected upon my being mesmerized by the endless flux of motion upon which my body was engaged in balancing.

“The motion is hypnotic, a tactile equivalent to staring into the ever changing flames of a fire,” I mused to RosyRinglets.

She replied by singing some lines from the movie, Pocahontas’, “Just Around the Riverbend”…

 

What I love most about rivers is
You can’t step in the same river twice.
The water’s always changing, always flowing…

We reached the beach after passing through a wonderfully calm little cove off the channel. It was ominously deserted, though the trash cans were overflowing, giving it a post apocalypse feel. I would’ve been more creeped out had there not yet been ski boats floating and partying in the clement offing.

The sun setting among the clouds was fluorescent orange pink beautiful. Occasional fireworks rose from the trees and blossomed in the distance.

After some chatting about the best campsites on Bear, we turned back toward the anchorage.

“When I first started paddle boarding, getting as far as Anderson Beach seemed so daunting! Now, it’s no big deal,” I said to Rosy.

Above the din of my boast, I couldn’t hear Mother Nature’s gleeful cackling as she picked up the gauntlet I’d carelessly dropped.

2

The Horrors of a Lee Shore

Gods demand sacrifice, as Cain can attest. My immediate god, J Percy Priest, sustains on sunglasses. Was there a SUP trip in which I’d not lost a pair? Nope, and thus my fondness for the $5 pairs at Home Depot checkouts. But on this outing I’d been careful to selfishly withhold the lake’s due…

Heading back westward along Anderson’s tip, RosyRinglets and I rounded a point only to be surprised by a lightning flash and the sight of a cumulonimbus dumping on a small area some miles to the south. Zero chance, huh?

I plopped me bum down on the board, legs astraddle, scooted forward to my deck dry bag and got out my phone. Wunderground’s Wundermap radar animation showed a mini system appearing out of nowhere, but fortunately heading northwest and skirting our pin drop. However, lightning on the aqua is nothing to mess with, no matter how far away, so we decided to sprint to the shoreline and hug it as we proceeded now circuitously to our chill spot.

At this point (in the narrative), I should point (figuratively) to the fact that this was but RR’s 3rd trip SUPping. Her ability to fight the increasing wind that endeavored to dash her upon the craggy limestone shore was no shit impressive.

We rounded yet another point and got a better view of the southern sky. The small cumulonimbus had grown. Dark clouds were spreading. The air was thickening.

I checked the radar again and it not only confirmed our vision but told worse – the raincloud beast was expanding southeast toward us faster than its center was heading away.

The lightning flashes increased in frequency. Counting the seconds between sight and sound showed the bolts were mostly 2 miles away, but sometimes only 1. So we pushed on, but ever ready to beach the boards and ourselves if the lightning got closer.

Along the coast here are the Anderson Road campgrounds on which people must register and pay to car camp. We passed several nestled among the trees. One site had a group of campers chilling in the water seemingly unconcerned with death by electrocution. We exchanged small talk about boards and balance abilities as we passed, and left them chatting with themselves about kayaks, etc.

Up ahead was another campsite with a large grassy swath on its coastline. Miss Ringlets and I agreed to head there to rest and reevaluate. One of its campers was standing near the water, gazing at the sky.

As we neared, “Aren’t you worried about the lightning?” he asked.

“Yes!” I said, grateful for the sympathy.

“You mind if we stop here and check the weather?” Rosy asked.

“Y’all can just stay close to the shore,” he clarified and motioned in our direction of travel.

We pushed on. Fireworks were now everywhere with the darkening sky, rising above the black horizon all around. Their booms echoed across the lake, confusing our interpretation of the thunder. The center of the Anderson Road peninsula was residential and peopled with enthusiastic patriots who communicated their Murrican pride via pyrotechnics. It sounded looked felt like we were in a war zone.

Hamilton Creek Recreation Area was close now, but across the cove.  I suggested we bail on hugging the shore and boogie more directly to a point across the cove from our journey’s launch. We did so, beached the boards and sat upon them.

Dry land at last.

But not for long.

3

Point Tantalus

Tempting Fate, seals your fate. I tried to be good, I did, despite my spite for The Precautionary Principle. Typically, and counter to The Law, I SUPped sans a Personal Flotation Device. I did have a couple PFDs from my boating and canoeing days and somehow they’d survived until the past couple of weeks. Unbeknownst to me, these normally deflated units could not only be inflated by mouth or pulling a ripcord to release the charge of a CO2 cartridge, but the cartridge would also do its deed when submerged in water. This, RosyRinglets discovered on her first trip and her first fall off her board. Oops!  Wearing the inflated vest makes it impossible to paddle.

She subsequently bought her own “normal” ski vest for future trips as well as replacement CO2 for my vest. But upon replacing the cartridge my vest immediately re-inflated – apparently the submerging sensor thingy needs to be reset. Who knew? On the J2 night SUP I did bring my 2nd vest but it met the same fate while stowed with my deck bag. I threw the fucking things away and ordered PFD belts that don’t think for themselves. But those’ve yet to be delivered.

All this is to get around to saying that come J4 RR had her normal vest and I had nothing.

We’ve since named that spot where we beached, Point Tantalus. By now it was fully night and dark. Tantalizingly, a street light from the parking light of Hamilton Creek Recreation Area shone for us from across the inlet.

So close… as they saying goes.

And next? The rain found us. Wind whipped up the lake. The lightning flashes never let up; they and the fireworks intermittently illuminated the bellies of the storm clouds. Thunder and fireworks boomed and sizzled together in some sick symphony. Thick woods blocked a landward retreat behind and potentially deadly electrifying open water threatened ahead. The air temperature dropped.

Stranded in the wilderness, most people die of exposure, long before from dehydration, starvation, predators, etc. RosyRinglets and I’d come dressed for a hot day on warm water. And so exposure became my biggest fear. RR donned a long sleeved water shirt over her swim suit top, and over that her PFD. I had on water shoes and swim trunks.

“Do you want to put on your T shirt?” asked Rosy.

“I’m saving it as a last resort,” I said, and didn’t let on that I was starting to shiver.

The weather forecast went from the storm’s blowing out in an hour, to 2 hours, then 3, and so on, worse and worse. The tempest ex nihilo could not be slaked. Mother Nature, J Percy Priest and Fate would collect their toll. RR and I couldn’t risk lightning on the open water. We might not survive a wet night on land.

I propped up a board against a tree to make shelter from the rain.

Tennessee Wildlife Resources patrols the lake. I tried to call them:  pre-recorded after hours message.

“I think we’re in 911 territory now.”

Miss Ringlets agreed.

After several calm and useful convos with the 911 operator, the Nashville Metro Fire Department was chosen to come to our aid.  Across the cove at our launch beach, we saw the flashing lights of a car enter the parking lot. Then a wielded flashlight ambled down to the beach and shone in our direction. I turned on my headlamp’s strobe and pointed it west. The flashlight signaled back. Our position was known.

In time red and green running lights appeared out of the gloom from the lake’s main channel and grew as our rescue motored down the cove to Point Tantalus.

Our wax having been sufficiently melt, the wind died, the rain spared, the lightning vanished.

The FD dudes were cool in an awkward and chugging boat. We embarked easily enough, a fun experience in itself.

The trip across the bay was mockingly calm as The Firmament rubbed salt in the wounds of those who would dare fly too close to the AnderSun.

“Would you do it again?” I asked RosyRinglets as we said good night in my driveway.

“Yes!” she glowed.

 

 

About The Author

Plisade

Plisade

Born in Cali. Served in the Marine Corps for Desert Storm. Now living around Nashville, TN. Honorary Degree in Darwinian Expediencies, MCRD Hollywood.

207 Comments

  1. Brochettaward

    One First to rule them all, One First to find them, One First to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them,

    • JD is in the United Karendom

      get tae fack ye scrawny wee gadge aye thas aenough wi yeus

      • Not Adahn

        Ya like dags?

      • UnCivilServant

        ferruckssake!

        *starts shooting*

  2. Fourscore

    Lots of water here in MN, few paddlers.

    • Bobarian LMD

      There are still chunks of ice in July.

      • Tundra

        No it’s the infestation of those fucking wakeboard boats.

  3. PieInTheSky

    A couple summers ago, a friend suggested we go standup paddle boarding (SUP), a low-impact and excellent form of exercise – try deadlifting heavy

    RosyRinglets – some info about breast size would be useful

    As we neared, “Aren’t you worried about the lightning?” he asked. – I though this was Chekhov’s lightning but fortunately not

    “I think we’re in 911 territory now.” – how very unlibertarian of you screaming for the aid of Big Government

    Overall given the lack of booze or drugs, 6/10 SUP experience

    • Plisade

      “how very unlibertarian”

      This article is my confession and an attempt at repentance.

      • EvilSheldon

        You really can’t claim that you’re into outdoor sports, until you’ve written a check to the rescue squad…

        Great story, and well told.

      • Plisade

        Haha, well I’m in the club now 🙂 Thanks.

  4. UnCivilServant

    Tried out some precooked hard boiled eggs.

    Made deviled eggs.

    Good lunch.

    11/10, would be lazy again.

  5. juris imprudent

    As with all adventures you survive, it is grander in the telling, isn’t it?

    • The Other Kevin

      Yes, just ask Animal. (And then this happened…)

    • Plisade

      Having stories to tell is the whole point of throwing myself aggressively upon the world.

      • Gender Traitor

        Presupposes living to tell about it.

        Thanks for sharing your adventure. (Sounds so much nicer than “emergency” or “crisis,” doesn’t it?)

      • UnCivilServant

        I had the idea of having a first-person story where you find out the narrator has been a ghost all along.

        But then I figured I’d be accused of ripping off some other dude.

      • Bobarian LMD

        You mean Bruce Willis?

        Yes, he really did die in Die Hard.

      • Plisade

        My pleasure 🙂

      • The Other Kevin

        That sentiment has guided a lot of my decisions in recent years. Someday I’ll be sitting on the porch at a nursing home, and it would be better to have good stories to tell the grandkids instead of telling them I had a safe and boring life. It’s also the reason I had no problem with Mrs. TOK playing roller derby.

      • UnCivilServant

        Lie.

        “I was a Clinton Foundation Assassin.”

      • Bobarian LMD

        No Clinton Foundation Assassin is gonna make it to a nursing home.

        Loose ends.

      • juris imprudent

        Vice President of Asset Protection and Liability Reduction

        [the James Woods character’s corporate title inBest Seller]

      • The Other Kevin

        That’s a great plan B. We usually take a lot of photos of our sports, but something unverifiable like that would work.

  6. Sean

    Well, did ya bang her?

    • Plisade

      She is lurking here now…

      • UnCivilServant

        So? She should then know about the purile nature of our family friendly commentary.

      • Plisade

        robc gets it.

      • robc

        Rosy — did you bang him?

      • Don Escaped both Landslides

        I laughed

      • Ted S.

        So you banged him?

      • TARDIS

        Tulpa!!! Come out, come out wherever you are!

      • The Other Kevin

        If she doesn’t have the username RosyRinglets I will be disappointed.

      • Sean

        The stage is set for a grand entrance.

      • Plisade

        Cue the overture.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Euphemism.

      • juris imprudent

        PHRASING!

  7. TARDIS

    Great story. The map was helpful to visualize the events.
    Also, RR is a great name.

    • Plisade

      It is. And she’s awaiting registration approval.

      • Ozymandias

        YEAHHH!!
        Bring in the Tulpae, all the Tulpae, all the time.

        Great story, Plisade. Best laid plans and all that – no shame in the call for help.
        Many people have died of Ego by refusing to ask for help when it could have saved them.

      • leon

        Thats just what a Tulpae would want!

        THEY’RE STEALING OUR FIRSTS!`

      • Plisade

        I wish I knew how to expedite her registration approval. Time is running out.

        I appreciate that. My pride was a little bruised, and for that I did briefly imagine commandeering the FD’s boat by force.

  8. Rebel Scum

    Bullshit. The bitch that blocked his path initially was the aggressor.

    A New Mexico man who drew his gun and fired at a protester after he was attacked during a melee over a statue in Albuquerque’s Old Town in June is now facing aggravated assault charges in the incident. 31-year old Steven Ray Baca was facing charges of carrying a firearm without a license, but on Monday Bernalillo County District Attorney Raul Torrez amended the criminal complaint against Baca, alleging that Baca actually started the fight that led to him firing shots.

    “Any individual who would otherwise be able to claim self-defense cannot claim self-defense if he or she initiates a violent confrontation,” Torrez said. “It’s our belief Mr. Baca was the first aggressor in this context and the individual that he shot was acting in response to his violent provocation.”

    Torrez acknowledged that it’s going to be a difficult case to present in court given the complex legal issues surrounding the allegations.

    Someone missed the part where they chased him threatening to kill him.

    • Viking1865

      He’s on video running away from the confrontation, and he only fires after he’s been chased down and struck with a skateboard.

      • EvilSheldon

        Interesting, I did not see that part of the video. If the video footage has him trying to get away from the attackers, he’ll be in a much better legal position.

        He’s still gonna put a down payment on his lawyer’s new Porsche…

      • Viking1865

        Yeah he shoved someone, crowd went after him, he ran away, might have at some point deployed OC spray, then they chased him down and were striking him. He fired after he was on the ground with a mob bearing down on him.

        It’s 100% a good shoot, this is political persecution.

      • Rebel Scum

        Yeah he shoved someone

        As I said, the person he shoved was blocking his path. I’d argue that as the initial aggression.

      • juris imprudent

        Yep – you cannot restrain me from walking past you.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Process is the punishment.

      • EvilSheldon

        If he initially shoved someone, and then was chased, then it’s not 100% a good shoot.

        It might be a good shoot in the sense that he reasonably feared that he was about to be seriously injured or killed. But the court can and will take other factors into consideration, including whether Baca was at fault for instigating or escalating the conflict.

        Baca might well be found not guilty. But he’s gonna go through the whole process, and it’s not gonna be cheap, to say nothing of the emotional and psychological toll on him and his family.

        I bet he wishes he’d stayed home from the riot that day.

      • robc

        I would say that running away separates the two incidents, so he was clearly not the initial aggressor in the 2nd incident (He may not have been in the first either, depending on the exact block/charge call).

        I don’t think a shove, if it was the initial event, justifies chasing down and beating with a skateboard, so his running away is a clear de-escalation and separation of the events.

        Note: I am not a lawyer, just applying reasonable logic to the situations.

      • Ownbestenemy

        “…just applying reasonable logic to the situations.”

        Think we found problem. *orders up one way ticket for robc to the nearest reeducation center*

      • EvilSheldon

        I mean, I’d bet that his lawyer would argue something very much along these lines. At $500/hour or so.

      • R C Dean

        I would say that running away separates the two incidents, so he was clearly not the initial aggressor in the 2nd incident

        That’s my read. Once you flee, any need to use force against you in self-defense is over. Any subsequent use of force against you is aggression.

    • TARDIS

      That DA is a total POS.

    • The Other Kevin

      I guess this answers the question we had about what will happen when people start defending themselves.

      • Viking1865

        Well, with the obvious caveat of “in blue jurisdictions.” I wonder if this DA is one of the Soros funded ones.

      • kinnath

        Jury box versus coffin.

        Choose wisely.

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t want a Jury of my peers, they don’t understand me.

      • R C Dean

        A jury of Glib peers would critique your choice of firearm, ammo, and your shooting technique. Probably also your outfit for the trial.

        On the way to acquitting you, of course.

      • Gustave Lytton

        You forgot the critique of the post-acquittal celebratory feast.

      • Gender Traitor

        In particular, the brands of spirits and/or vintages of wine served.

      • Gustave Lytton

        No argument over the pineapple and cilantro deep dish served with a side of Skyline chili?

      • UnCivilServant

        I have taste, none of that would be on the menu.

      • Ted S.

        As long as he remembers to wear his criminal trial gloves.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The argument is going to be that he was looking for a fight.

      I’d argue that he was a dumb fuck for getting in the middle of that crowd and pushing people around, particularly while carrying concealed. That’s just giving the prosecutor material to work with and like it or not, when you’re defending yourself with a weapon, you’re defending yourself against the aggressor and the DA.

      That said, his case will have to be that he retreated until he could not feasibly do so, which seems apparent from the video.

    • creech

      One more reason not to duck jury duty. You might get on a case like this where you can stand up for individual rights of self-defense.

      • Brochettaward

        Only if you perjure yourself in the jury selection process.

      • UnCivilServant

        Watch your phrasing and it’s not a lie

      • juris imprudent

        So a dishonest system deserves our highest fidelity?

  9. Don Escaped both Landslides

    Priest

    elected to the House as an independent
    refused to sign the Southern Manifesto
    died from an ulcer operation

    • Plisade

      That won’t stop peaceful protesters from blowing up the dam.

  10. leon

    Plisade this looks good, I’ll make sure i read through it all in a bit.

  11. ron73440

    “Yes!” she glowed.

    Why am I picturing the girl from “Top Secret!” ?

    • Plisade

      I blame Pie.

      • ron73440

        I said Top Secret, not Dracula.

  12. Sean
    • TARDIS

      I hope they get a letter from the manufacturer stating their warranty has been voided.

  13. egould310

    Thanks for this. SUP is on the horizon for a hobby I may try.

    You gotta be careful on the water. The weather is different out there, and as you know can change very quickly. Plus, water is wet and cold. Glad you’re safe.

    • Plisade

      Thanks. I’ve got SUP camping in the works. Adding your fickle water to the backpacking equation has become an uncontrollable draw this summer.

  14. Rebel Scum

    Cancel the State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations while you are at it.

    Plimoth Plantation, a living history museum in Massachusetts that focuses on the colonial life on the English settlement at Plymouth, will be changing its name by the end of the year to better “represent” the Native American history and culture that shaped the region.

    According to a press release from the organization, the site will soon be renamed “Plimoth Patuxet,” as the latter refers to the Wampanoag name for the area.

    • R C Dean

      focuses on the colonial life on the English settlement

      “represent” the Native American history and culture

      Just bulldoze everything.

  15. The Other Kevin

    Since Rosy is here, I’d like to see her version of the story. Like the “but here’s what REALLY happened” ending from Clue.

    • Not Adahn

      Glib Rashomon.

      • mrfamous

        Plisade will be the first perspective, Rosy will be the second, and STEVE SMITH will be the third perspective. The made for TV version will just have two perspectives.

      • Bobarian LMD

        The TV crew got raped and the TV show had to go to cable.

        “STEVE GIVE YOU THE CABLE”

  16. Rebel Scum

    I am sorry about her and your impending suicide.

    The source, the author of “Sex and the Serial Killer,” who writes under the pseudonym William Steel, claims he helped the couple obtain jewelry for the girls they groomed and also had sex with Maxwell, whom he described as a “nymphomaniac,” according to The New York Post.

    “It was mostly tennis bracelets, charm bracelets, women’s Piaget watches,” Steel said, regarding the hot goods he allegedly provided to Epstein and Maxwell.

    Steel claims the duo tried to impress him by boasting of intimate knowledge and showing him videos that included high profile figures engaged in sex and orgies.

    The reformed thief says he’s handed over all information he has to authorities and is willing to testify against Maxwell, who was arrested earlier this month and charged with sex-trafficking of minors.

    • Viking1865

      I’m personally doubtful that Epstein was buying stolen jewelry. He had plenty of cash.

    • Brochettaward

      Maxwell…

      …Wouldn’t.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Because you wouldn’t be first?

      • Brochettaward

        I’m always a First.

      • Brochettaward

        And the last.

      • Rebel Scum

        Because you are like a firework and she is like a diesel engine?

    • Gustave Lytton

      The reformed thief says he’s handed over all information he has to authorities and is willing to testify

      Hopefully he didn’t hand over all of the copies to ADA Hilare Clintonesky. I see an Arkancide in his future.

  17. Overt

    I’m bringing this over from the Morning Links.

    My County (OC, CA) Board of Education elected last night to recommend against CA State guidelines that require masks, social distancing and bunches of other nonsense. The individual districts and the OC Department of Education are not required to follow these rules, so some parents have worked to setup a petition:

    https://www.change.org/Open-OC-Schools

    If you are in OC, or are concerned about Orange County, please consider visiting and signing. The petition asks for opening the schools, giving teachers and parents an option for remote learning, and above all enabling parents and kids to choose for themselves the best option.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Good luck Overt. You have my sister’s vote more or less or rather, her kids’ votes.

      • Overt

        Hey anyone can sign a petition, right? Tell them to do it.

        The problem right now is that the local Unions have email blasted another petition that calls for mandatory masks, 6 foot social distancing, and reduced classes- all the sort of stuff that will require tons of money, and likely require parents to keep kids home alone if they can’t work from home or pay a sitter. This petition has 50k signatures.

    • mrfamous

      Why do you want to kill grandma? Just for a couple of points on the Dow Jones? Pardon me for a moment, I have to go eat some paste.

      Good luck!

  18. TARDIS

    I’m in the market:

    This one, or

    this one?

    …or something else. I must stay under $2K, including optics. I just don’t know.

    • Not Adahn

      At that price the world is your oyster. Decide on what optic you need first.

      • EvilSheldon

        EuroOptic.com is having a bangin’ sale on 1-6.5x Bushnell scopes right now…

      • TARDIS

        So many choices. I hate capitalism.

    • Drake

      .308 out of a 16″ barrel always seemed crazy to me.

      • EvilSheldon

        Unless it’s for serious long-range work, I’ve always been partial to 11.5″ 5.56mm guns, and 16″ 7.62mm guns. I know, I’m weird.

      • TARDIS

        That’s kind of what my thoughts are. I’m no sniper or big game hunter.

      • Drake

        I’ll agree with that last part. Shot a tacti-cool M1A with a 16″. It was so much worse than the M14s I really liked. Loud, heavy recoil, and less accurate. Just a pos.

      • kinnath

        Ruger PC4 with Burris red dot

        Ruger mini-14 with Leupold 2×7.5 optics

        Springfield M1A with future Leupold optic of some sort.

    • R C Dean

      I’d go for the Springfield, but neither one is going for less than $2K.

  19. Plinker762

    So on the map, is that STEVE SMITH SPRINGS – Public Use area? NFW I’m going there.

    • Bobarian LMD

      STEVE SMITH SPRINGS AM NOT PLACE.

      STEVE SMITH SPRINGS AM ACTION.

      STEVE SPRINGS. STEVE PURSUES. STEVE CATCHES. STEVE MAKE CABLE SHOW.

      • Plisade

        That would explain how I got fucked.

      • Plinker762

        Well it is an area set aside for him to use the public

  20. Mojeaux

    This was fearfully lovely and poetically terrifying. Thank you.

    • Plisade

      Thanks. That means a lot, coming from you 🙂

      • Mojeaux

        Your descriptions of the weather were very poetic, indeed.

        Related only in my head: Grofe’s Grand Canyon Suite with music instead of words to describe nature. There’s a movement called “Cloudburst”.

      • Plisade

        Oooh, I will check that out. Especially with having another similar story down in the Grand Canyon. Now *that’s* a good story for another day!

  21. Mojeaux

    “Would you do it again?” I asked RosyRinglets as we said good night in my driveway.
    “Yes!” she glowed.

    My kinda gal pal.

  22. Fred, Your new Cylon Buddy

    Plisade Great adventure! I see a lot of SUPers running the River, is it easier than Surfing? balance wise?

    • Plisade

      Yes. The board is wider and longer. I was shaky on the first trip, but muscle memory came through from there on. Long and narrow = faster, but less stable.

    • Ozymandias

      Yes. A lot steadier on a SUP board (‘cuz my unbalanced ass can do that), but surfing is really, really tough (for me).

  23. Chipwooder

    Since I’m only marginally aware of who Nick Cannon is, I didn’t see what actual comments he made that got him in the news lately, but now that I have, good lord this is unbelievably stupid nonsense:

    “That’s the melanin that connects us, so the people that don’t have it are — and I’m going to say this carefully — are a little less.” Cannon said.

    “When they were sent to the Mountains of Caucasus, they didn’t have the power of the sun. The sun started to deteriorate them. So, they’re acting out of fear, they’re acting out of low self-esteem, they’re acting out of deficiency, so therefore the only way they can act is evil.

    They have to rob, steal, rape, kill, and fight in order to survive. So these people who didn’t have what we have, and when I say ‘we,’ I speak of the melanated people, they had to be savages, they had to be barbaric because they’re in these Nordic mountains, they’re in these rough torrential environments, so they’re acting as animals, so they’re the ones closer to animals, they’re the ones that are actually the true savages.”

    Just complete ahistorical gibberish.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      and I’m going to say this carefully

      LOL

      • leon

        What makes it even more funny is that that is what he deemed necessary to say carefully. Not the “White People are all evil”

    • Ownbestenemy

      Okay. Gets on my nordic longboat that can sail the high seas. Bye!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      He’s employed by Simon Cowell. We’ll see how that goes over with him.

      • leon

        That might explain his dim view on white people.

    • Rebel Scum

      “Whitey is an evil oppressor that exacts white-supremacist control over everything but whitey is also deficient because melanin.”

      Sure.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I get it in a way. He is fighting back against the truly ignorant knuckle draggers that equate persons with dark or black skin to a step above monkeys. He does a poor job at it, but I get it.

      • Suthenboy

        Just take the ‘dark or black’ out and the statement is true and just barely.
        Really….have you been around people lately?

    • Ozymandias

      TOTALLY. NOT. RACIST.

  24. robc

    Guess the source:

    Freedom hath been hunted round the globe. Asia, and Africa, have long expelled her. — Europe regards her like a stranger, and England hath given her warning to depart.

    • leon

      Use of hath -> John Stewart Mill

    • Chipwooder

      I dunno, Locke?

      • robc

        Also wrong.

    • Timeloose

      I don’t know, but it sounds like some common sense to me.

      • robc

        And we have a winner.

        I am going to assume you did it on purpose.

        Thomas Paine, Common Sense, 1776.

      • Timeloose

        Yes……it was on purpose.

    • juris imprudent

      And then….

      I’m glad the stupid things I’ve said in my life aren’t all conveniently packaged together.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Good. Wilson is a twat.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        This should be a lesson for all the Never-Trumpers. The Democrats are never going to accept you. They’ll use you and throw you away and call you a racist, a misogynist, a capitalist pig….

      • leon

        Exactly. And the Bush GOP figures deserve no mercy. They are every bit the assholes the left says they are. The only thing more annoying than them are the leftists pretending ot have clean hands, whilst ignoring the crimes of Obama.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yeah that one is good. Akin to my thoughts that a Trump PAC should purchase up all the canned goods from GOYA and send them to California

      • leon

        “Oh, yeah, I totally support Trump. Please boycott us just like you boycotted Goya!” said the CEO of a rubber band manufacturer in Iowa. His rubber band sales immediately bounced back, garnering him tons of sales, which is great for a product like rubber bands that have elastic demand.

        Well it’s not Swiss that’s the mole

      • juris imprudent

        Or the sauce. I’m going to get a very narrowed gaze for that, aren’t I?

    • Timeloose

      Los Angeles Rams – Dodge Rams contribute heavily to the climate crisis. – Ha ha!!

      New England Patriots – REEEEEEEEEEEE – Well we know LH isn’t the mole

    • leon

      I wish i had watched the NBA so that i could stop watching them.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Almost spit out my beer dude!

    • leon

      https://www.invent-the-future.org/

      His blog. I wanted to believe it was parody. I’d bet $10000 The man is paid by the CCP. You don’t independently come up with such bullshit and try to pass it off as true. That is something a detached propogandist writes and then orders published by the paid mouthpieces.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Looking at his youtube video there I can deduce that he is truly a moron.

        Who puts their stereo speakers right next to each other? You can’t get any channel separation that way!

        Idiot

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Holy fuck

        This blog aims to provide well-researched, credible political/historical analysis focused on:

        Building support for the socialist states, eg Cuba, China, Vietnam, DPR Korea
        Building support for progressive and socialist-oriented states, eg Venezuela, Nicaragua, South Africa, Brazil, Zimbabwe

      • Chipwooder

        Oh, so North Korea is real communism after all?

      • leon

        Of course it is. As is Cuba, and USSR, and China and Venezuela. The only times they aren’t are when they are doing things that make western socialist agitators squirm. Then real socialism is Denmark.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I smell a new term for the Climate Change folks if his blog has any clout “Climate Breakdown”

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Not killed, just disappeared.

      • EvilSheldon

        If you really believe that the State Security goons in Hong Kong have not killed a single protestor, then you have officially crossed the line from useful idiot, to active collaborator.

      • Chipwooder

        They’ve just been resettled elsewhere, y’see/

      • Not Adahn

        On a farm upstate?

      • TARDIS

        Well, underneath it maybe.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Makes great fertilizer for the rice paddies

      • Ownbestenemy

        Dozens of protestors were killed in the States?

    • Rebel Scum

      China will soon be the world’s largest economy. It’ll be the first nation to reach that status whose rise isn’t built on colonialism, slavery & genocide, but rather on hard work, good economics & effective governance. This should earn China love, but it earns it hate in the West.

      *spits out coffee*

      Why must so many people be completely ignorant of the world around them?

      • leon

        Ignorant? No. Just paid to spread CCP propoganda.

      • Chipwooder

        Because it serves their purposes to be so

  25. grrizzly

    I live in a parallel universe. I just had a haircut and the barber didn’t ask me to put on a face mask. He probably didn’t care much about social distancing since we shook hands when he introduced himself. That happened in Cambridge, MA, of all places. In the same town I went to a bank to access a safe deposit box. No complaints about no mask even though a clerk had to go with me to their bunker.

    • Not Adahn

      The businesses here do require masks, and everyone complies. However, on Sunday I walked from my breakfast place to the place where I bought my coffee pre-shutdown. On the way there, I passed many people, all unmasked. I hadn’t bother to take mine of since I was going from one mask-required locale to another so I felt very out of place.

      I got stuck behind a slow-walking couple with their Irish wolfhounds. In the space of a block and a half, five different people made a joke about the dogs being horses. That must get old.

  26. Timeloose

    She was not much of a conservative they made her to be, but i guess moderates have no place in the NYT anymore.

    https://www.bariweiss.com/resignation-letter

    “Twitter is not on the masthead of The New York Times. But Twitter has become its ultimate editor. As the ethics and mores of that platform have become those of the paper, the paper itself has increasingly become a kind of performance space. Stories are chosen and told in a way to satisfy the narrowest of audiences, rather than to allow a curious public to read about the world and then draw their own conclusions. I was always taught that journalists were charged with writing the first rough draft of history. Now, history itself is one more ephemeral thing molded to fit the needs of a predetermined narrative.”

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Not a conservative at all, just a principled liberal. Therefore she has no place at the NYT.

    • Plinker762

      Too bad, I enjoyed watching him bid on storage lockers.

      • Mojeaux

        *wild applause*

    • Ed Wuncler

      “Instead, a new consensus has emerged in the press, but perhaps especially at this paper: that truth isn’t a process of collective discovery, but an orthodoxy already known to an enlightened few whose job is to inform everyone else.”

      This line hits at the heart of a lot of the Left’s mindset. I’ve noticed among some of my liberal friends in the past couple of years that debating about race, educational outcomes, or anything that might challenge their worldview needs to be stamped out immediately. And also if you don’t walk lock step with their doctrine at worst you’re evil and at best you’re incredibly stupid.

    • Not Adahn

      Janet > Bari

  27. blighted_non_millenial

    Cool write up. Reminds me of my first few times kayaking on Lake Lanier.

  28. Chipwooder

    Here’s a question – why is Chrissy Teigen so famous? She was maybe a C level bikini model for a couple of years a long time ago, probably during the Bush administration, yet her dimwitted Twitter bullshit gets publicized constantly. Why? Doesn’t anyone want to hear what Brook Burns has to say, too?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      You mean Brooke Burke?

      Cuz’ she’s a goddess.

      Teigen is weird lookin’

      • Trolleric the Goth

        not to mention starred in the best of the need for speed series, Underground 2.

        (back in the first era of “starring” in video games)

      • Chipwooder

        Teigen is very odd looking.

        Brooke Burke is actually who I meant, but I remember Brooke Burns too.

    • Gender Traitor

      “…why is Chrissy Tiegen so famous?”

      Because she’s married to John Legend?

      (Not unlike the way Hilary became famous.)

      • Chipwooder

        Is he actually that big a star? I don’t listen to much of anything recorded after the ’90s, and most of it is in genres that are not broadly popular. I recognize the name, couldn’t name you anything he’s done.

      • Mojeaux

        Yes, R&B. I listen to a lot of that.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Famous for being famous, I guess.

  29. Tundra

    Great story, Plisade!

    I had a flashback, however, of being caught in the middle of a lake up the BWCA by a freak storm (pre cell phones). My buddy and I were both experienced paddlers, but there were still some moments of pretty decent terror.

    I hope you have many more SUP adventures, but definitely buy some of these!

    • Plisade

      Yes! I went Sunday to REI and bought an emergency bivy just cuz of the J4 adventure. Wouldna thought I’d need one in summer… sheesh.

  30. Mojeaux

    Wait. We have an XX Tulpa in the wings? UNPOSSIBLE! Everybody knows there are no libertarian women.

    • leon

      Thats because there is only One True Libertarian. And i’m a guy.

      • TARDIS

        So what are you wearing OTL?

    • Plisade

      I’ll let RR speak to her politics, but yes, a Tulpa cometh.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    Be gone, before somebody drops a house on YOU

    Weiss faced criticism in June when the newspaper faced backlash over the publication of Republican Sen. Tom Cotton’s op-ed, which argued for sending in military troops to U.S. cities to quash unrest that had broken out in the aftermath of the death of George Floyd. In a series of tweets, Weiss tweeted that there was a “civil war” that has been “raging” inside The Times between the “wokes” and older “liberals.” The tweets drew public backlash from some of Weiss’ own colleagues.

    Weiss said in her resignation letter that she was subject to “constant bullying” by her colleagues at The Times who disagreed with her views. She wrote that colleagues have called her a Nazi and racist and that she was “demeaned on company-wide Slack channels.”

    “There, some coworkers insist I need to be rooted out if this company is to be a truly ‘inclusive’ one, while others post ax emojis next to my name,” Weiss wrote. “Still other New York Times employees publicly smear me as a liar and a bigot on Twitter with no fear that harassing me will be met with appropriate action. They never are.”

    Eileen Murphy, a spokesperson for The Times, did not respond to the specifics of Weiss’ resignation letter. But Murphy said, “We’re committed to fostering an environment of honest, searching and empathetic dialogue between colleagues, one where mutual respect is required of all.”

    The spirit of open inquiry. Collegial respect and appreciation. Thoughtful nuanced opinion that runs the gamut from A to B.

    All the news that fits the narrative.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    “Inclusive” doesn’t mean we’ll tolerate just anybody.

    • Ownbestenemy

      It is almost like we could draw upon some point in our history that we might draw parallels to. Alas, we cannot because the books were burned, the spoken past muffled and the monuments toppled.