A Jubilee!

by | Jul 18, 2020 | Beer, Food & Drink | 302 comments

I got an email from UPS a few weeks back.  Being it was a time card Friday, I wasn’t expecting a package.

This is my review of Goose Island Bourbon County Grand Bramble Rye Stout (2018).  H/T:  Riven

Unlike the mafia, I actually do like surprises.  As I was drinking this, I couldn’t help but notice it reminded me of something…

Cherries Jubilee

As luck would have it, I happened to have a bag full of cherries nobody was eating.  No, seriously.  I buy a lot of fruit, just not all of it gets eaten…

First I used this single purpose tool…

Then looked around for brandy—no dice.  I had to have something crappy on hand that I was willing to throw away on this…

Then the fun part happens…

Serve over vanilla ice cream and conveniently forget that you were supposed to invite Spudalicious over.

This beer is not exactly like cherries jubilee.  The stout is too dry, too malty to actually recreate that.  It does have deep dark fruit notes and a delightful rye aftertaste.  These are pricey, especially as a vintage from 2018, even when sold as an individual bottle.  So thanks again, Riven! Goose Island Bourbon County Grand Bramble Rye Stout (2018):  4.8/5

About The Author

mexican sharpshooter

mexican sharpshooter

WARNING: Glibertarians.com contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. https://youtu.be/qiAyX9q4GIQ?t=2m22s

302 Comments

  1. UnCivilServant

    Dealing with seeds is the pits.

    • Tejicano

      I guess it depends on what pit you will be seeding in the deal

    • Nephilium

      Beer bottle + cherries + chopstick = bottle of pits.

  2. KSuellington

    Nice! I’m gonna have to make that, I don’t believe I have ever had that.

    “I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize….to absolutely fuckin’ nobody!” McGregor is an asshole, but that line is a winner and should be used a hell of a lot more.

  3. Tulip

    I love doing flambe

    • UnCivilServant

      I always wonder what else I’ll catch alight.

      • egould310

        Perhaps, your heart?

  4. The Late P Brooks

    Serve over vanilla ice cream and conveniently forget that you were supposed to invite Spudalicious over.

    That, unlike the beer looks tasty as all get-out.

    “Spudalicious Who?”

    *Wouldn’t that be a really long drive? The ice cream would be completely melted by the time he got there.

  5. Spudalicious

    Dude.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Duuuuude.

      • Nephilium

        Dude.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        *deep breathe*

        Dude.

      • Sean

        What’s mine say?

      • TARDIS

        Sweet!

  6. Tejicano

    Sorry – not sorry – to be going OT so soon (although it is a food question so not straying too far from the path…)

    I recently re-discovered Braunschweiger as a thoroughly delightful – and completely Keto – snack/treat. I know that this was once part of my regular diet which might have been heavily influenced by my father’s strong German roots. But I wonder if this is something which is normal to most Americans or specifically, to Americans from the midwest.

    I was a very wee lad when my family made the journey south to Tejas so I don’t really know a lot about how things are done “up north” other than what my parents fed me.

    Any input on the subject of Braunshweiger?

    • Negroni Please

      I’m from the south. Grew up loving that stuff. No German roots here either.

      I think salty fatty delicious poor people food transcends cultures

      • Tejicano

        OK. I’ma gonna cut off another slice to enjoy with this shot(s?) of Bourbon….

      • JD is in the United Karendom

        delicious poor people

        That was worth scrolling quickly for / libertarians not happy with grinding poor people into the dirt in favor of evil kkkorporayshuns, they now insist on having a right to EAT POOR PEOPLE SMDH #thisiswhattheyactuallybelieve

    • Ted S.

      Good stuff, like its cousin liverwurst.

      • Gender Traitor

        Is there really a difference between the two?

      • Homple

        Yes.

    • Nephilium

      Never really had it, but I seem to recall it being at the local deli counters. But I’m midwest, and this area has a sizable German population.

    • TARDIS

      My XY discovered Braunschweiger about a year ago, and has been devouring it ever since. I like it too. I grew up in Deutschland, and love a German style breakfast now and then.

    • Gender Traitor

      Braunschweiger is OK. For me, a little goes a long way. Tom T is a fan, but he comes from a city where non-zombies eat brains.

      • TARDIS

        No, this is disgusting!

  7. DEG

    It does have deep dark fruit notes and a delightful rye aftertaste. These are pricey, especially as a vintage from 2018, even when sold as an individual bottle. So thanks again, Riven! Goose Island Bourbon County Grand Bramble Rye Stout (2018): 4.8/5

    Sounds yummy.

    In shitty news: Just about every grocery store in New Hampshire is going to require masks starting Monday.

      • Ted S.

        Because fuck you, that’s why.

      • DEG

        What Ted said.

        I think when Wal-Mart made the move, the rest of the panic-y herd animals followed. It looks like I’m wrong about the date for Shaw’s (owned by Albertson’s) – they’ll start on the 21st.

        A bunch of Reopen NH folks are pushing on Market Basket as it is locally owned.

        I’ve heard A Market in Manchester does not require masks, but have not confirmed.

      • UnCivilServant

        The whole point of driving out to Keene was to avoid the stupidity of mandatory masks.

        I guess now I have no reason to leave my house.

    • JD is in the United Karendom

      Live free or don’t!

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        ?

    • Nephilium

      Ouch.

      Welcome to the masked insanity.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Yes, the government can’t possibly enforce a mask mandate, but they can harass your local grocer for not following along.

      • Ted S.

        Not just harass; drive them out of business.

      • DEG

        They’re doing it on their own.

        One thing the Clown Prince has been good on: resisting a statewide mask mandate and not issuing requirements that customers in stores wear masks (except for hair salons or entering/exiting a gym).

    • mrfamous

      Nice work Free State Project!

      • Ted S.

        Did Winston change his handle?

      • Gender Traitor

        Haven’t seen him for a while…

      • mrfamous

        No. It just bugs me. Where the hell can I go to escape all this shit. It’s a fucking collectivist orgy sweeping the nation

  8. Creosote Achilles

    I wanted to respond to something from Overt in the earlier thread where he said:

    Even in the case of Jim Crowe laws, the NG was going into a huge swath of America that was essentially in non compliance. Here we are talking about a city. The vast majority of people within the city of portland and the state of oregon are not experiencing anything here close to the pervasiveness of Jim Crowe. If we cannot let Portland stand or fall on its own in this case, then why have Cities or States in the first place?

    With all due respect, you are talking out your ass. This is impacting people throughout the metro area in a negative way. It isn’t safe to drive through town after about 4PM. I had to go into our office building at some point. The city is being turned into Beirut, and the local and state authorities are forsworn in their oath to protect my rights and the rights of everyone else impacted by this. There are plenty of folks here that are getting what they asked for, yes, but plenty of us aren’t. Is it quite as pervasive as Jim Crowe? No, but it is head that way. Say the wrong thing you can lose your job, wear the wrong shirt you can be attacked and assaulted without any charges being filed against your attackers. They are cultivating a climate of fear. It is effectively lawless in this city. These rioters want to see people like us in camps being educated, or in chains. Fuck them. They are avowed communists, therefore not people, merely property of the state. Give them what they are asking for instead of letting them ram it down the throats of Americans.

    Because if the Feds don’t do their fucking job, it’s going to get ugly. Real ugly eventually.

    Pinochet did nothing wrong, and the only bad about McCarthy is he didn’t go far enough.

    • Creosote Achilles

      Screwed up the formatting. Dang it. The first full paragraph is Overt’s the rest is mine.

    • leon

      I’ve been thinking about both sides of this a lot today. The federal government should be prosecuting the city leadership and DAs. I don’t like unmarked “kidnappings” but I also can see the need to ensure a just system of Justice is being administered.

      Rather than Jim Crow, which is a charged example, I think back to the early Mormons pleading with the federal government for relief in Missouri. They didn’t get it. Unfortunately there’s no Illinois or Western frontier to flee to anymore. I’m still mulling these thoughts around.

      • EvilSheldon

        The problem as I see it, is what exactly can the Feds do? They can’t deploy military assets to Portland. USNG is under control of the state governor, so that’s probably a non-starter. They could send a team of Deputy US Marshalls in and arrest the entire city council on some kind of conspiracy charge, but that would probably cause the riots to ramp up rather than down.

        I dunno, go full-on Nacht und Nebel and start disappearing the AFA leadership? I have no doubt that it could be done, assuming the leadership can be identified, but that’s the real police state shit, not the Skim-Milk Frappichino version that we’ve had up until now.

        I’m interested in ideas, here. What can be done, that might have a shot at a positive outcome?

      • Viking1865

        One thing that I think matters is due to the Commie Cough, the City Council is meeting electronically. If there were angry constituents spilling out into the hallway demanding the mayor enforce basic law and order, do you think this would be continuing?

      • EvilSheldon

        There is probably something to that. It also makes it all the more difficult to arrest the city council, if anyone were of a mind to.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Electronic meeting is a red herring. They’d be doing the same thing and there wouldn’t be angry constituents because a) they’re largely supported, b) the media is complicit in framing the narrative, c) the audience would be stacked and managed so there weren’t angry tirades except against the police and their use of force.

    • Tejicano

      On the one hand I don’t like the “death squad” vibe of the kidnappings I read about…

      But on the other hand this is exactly the kind of tactic they would be happy with if it was their troops doing it.

      Goose/gander? Whatever?

      • Gustave Lytton

        If antifa starts showing up dumped in the Willamette, it’ll be death squads. Right now it’s flying arrests because the mobs will surge and protect arrestees from police.

        These riots have multiple layers of participants to provoke and entrap a response. You have
        people standing around, yelling and screaming and creating chaos (protected by 1A, but in no sense is any part a legitimate protest)
        people committing minor property crimes
        people using lights and visible lasers to blind or intimidate police
        people actively attacking police, starting fires, or throwing fireworks/incidiaries
        freelance “journalists” providing physical cover for the criminals and preventing any distance response, all the while “documenting” any actions in an active and interfering way and hoping they get accidentally hit so they can whine. Meanwhile they do nothing to distinguish themselves like wearing yellow reflective safety vests, instead wear black clothing and try to blend in other than a self issues “press pass” and indistinctive markings.

        And all of that is being coordinated.

      • Tejicano

        “And all of that is being coordinated.”

        And even from my POV from the other side of the Pacific via the internet it seems they are using our “rights” against our best interests.

        What they are driving to is a place where our rights will be cast off as a useful tool to put their idea of “utopia” in power. These are actual Marxists working to establish political revolution. If we can’t accelerate our response it could be too late.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        The Open Society and its Enemies

      • EvilSheldon

        So, can these coordinators be identified and fixed in location?

        If they can’t, then it strikes me that many of our fears about the surveillance state were…misplaced.

      • R C Dean

        The real question is, does anybody in our law enforcement complex want them arrested?

        I see no evidence that they do. Antifa leadership is well known. The core cell in Portland is well known. Yet they are all walking around, free as birds, despite committing federal crimes.

      • Viking1865

        You’re starting with the premise that the powers that be want to identify them. You have to remember, these people are the ruling class of the country. Senator Tim Kaine’s younger son is antifa. Two Ivy League lawyers torched NYPD car and skated on bail. Eric Clanton, who smashed a Trump supporters head with a U-lock, is a college professor.

        They’re not going to hunt them down, because they are part of the same class. The people who rioted in 68 grew up and took over the country.

      • EvilSheldon

        If that’s the case (and I agree that it very likely is) then it answers the question posed – there’s nothing that can be done, and Portland is fucked as a functional polity.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        The death squads phenomena are rarely the work of state actors, at least in the way I think about it. It is the result of the perception that there is no credible authority that will do “what needs to be done.” Think Baghdad circa 2005, Suni and Shia militias enacting justice and retribution as they interpret it. Portland isn’t there yet, but it might get there soon.

    • Gustave Lytton

      The city is being turned into Beirut

      Make Portland Little Beirut again.

      The downtown area, even before this, was getting rougher. The street punks and homeless were running rampant and getting mollycoddled, and abetted by people like Hardesty. I had to pick up something from one of our offices downtown a couple months ago, urine in the air, trash everywhere, and groups of druggies and bums. Now this. I’ve been avoiding it entirely so far. Outside the core isn’t looking much better.

      I was over near 82nd two weeks ago, near where Tom Peterson’s (if Portland had any sense, they would had erected statues of him and Ramblin Rod long ago) used to be. It’s always been pretty hardscrabble, but the level of graffiti over the buildings is just breathtaking. Totally out of control.

      • Creosote Achilles

        100% correct.

        I had to go to the side of town near 82nd last week. I had to dodge around these yahoos trying to get to where I need to go to go home. They keep pushing further out and further out too.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      Serious question: What sort of legal justification did Eisenhower use when he sent the 101st into Little Rock?

      If the standard is federal forces can be used to protect the rights of citizens when state/local authorities refuse to do so, we have definitely crossed that particular Rubicon.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Doing a bit of research, it seems like the Equal Protection Clause was invoked. Makes sense.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    Everybody knows

    Early this year, the world watched in horror while the global pandemic took hold of Italy. Leaders in the United States watched too, but failed to prepare for what was coming. Instead of prepping our health care systems to brace for impact, President Donald Trump’s administration looked away from the looming crisis and promoted a false narrative that Covid-19 was not going to affect our country.

    New York was one of the first states to feel the dire consequences of the contagion. The region was tested like never before, as it became the global epicenter, with hospitals filled to capacity. The hard-fought lessons learned from New York, sadly, have not been implemented nationally, and now the US is seeing positive cases exceeding 60,000 each day.

    What specifically were those “hard fought lessons’? I guess If I have to ask, I don’t deserve to know.

    Just nod, and scream at Trump when he appears on the viewscreen.

    • leon

      Cuomo should be considered a failure. Somehow he’s manuvered his failure into a victory and trying to shame everyone who didn’t fail like him.

      I get why he’s doing it. I Just wish people weren’t so enamored by team politics to go along with it.

      • Ted S.

        Yeah, his assertion that the fuckup on sending sick people into nursing homes was because the feds led him to believe the virus was coming from China instead of Europe was beyond idiotic. But because TEAM BLUE people praise him.

        He’s the sort of fourth-generation imbecile Oliver Wendell Holmes warned us about.

      • Viking1865

        “Cuomo should be considered a failure”

        These are the same people who turned a guy who created a decade of depression before plunging the country into a war the people did not want to be involved into “The greatest American President of the 20th century.”

        If you fuck things up, you get Crisis Leader points, even though it’s a crisis of your own making.

      • Plinker762

        Great leaders always have great body counts. Usually of their own people. (SLD leaders don’t own anyone but themselves)

  10. The Late P Brooks

    I have called for a more unified approach with our city mayors who also must confront the crisis with their residents. This is no time for division and turf battles. We need a consistent and collaborative plan that earns public confidence as Covid-19 cases continue to surge in Miami-Dade. My repeated calls for the two-part strategy early in the pandemic have been clearly ignored. Now our businesses and workers have to endure increased economic devastation yet again.

    We continue to find ourselves behind the virus instead of ahead of it. We have paid with pain and sacrifice. The lack of leadership from the governor and mayor means we have more confusion, and businesses are being ordered to scale back their operations. We can’t continue to fall into the trap of having to choose between our economy or our health. The time for a united plan from state and county leaders is now, because tomorrow will be too late.

    —–

    Daniella Levine Cava is the founder of Catalyst Miami, a premier nonprofit in Miami-Dade that is dedicated to solving issues adversely affecting low-wealth communities throughout the county. She is an attorney and serves as a Miami-Dade County Commissioner representing district 8. She is a candidate for Miami-Dade County mayor.

    “I am the iron-fisted dictator Miami needs.”

  11. The Late P Brooks

    Just about every grocery store in New Hampshire is going to require masks starting Monday.

    Jobs!

  12. Tres Cool

    Dragged this over from the am LYNX wrt Lena Dunham:

    Gender Traitor on July 18, 2020 at 10:17 am

    ::lights Tres signal::

    *she’s still kinda petite for my tastes

  13. Yusef drives a Kia

    Has anyone noticed the National Change Shortage? Mc D’s, Walmart. Circle K, and others, exact change in cash or Debit/credit,
    Where’s all the Cash going to?

    • Sean

      Couch cushions.

    • Ted S.

      Long time passes.

    • hayeksplosives

      They are saying it’s to prevent germ spread, but I’m guessing they’re trying to move to a cashless society in which all transactions are monitored.

      Scandahoovia is going that way.

      • hayeksplosives

        Sweden wants to monitor purchasing patterns “for your own good.”

        Back in the day, Swedish pearl-clutchers decided to limit alcohol to one 750ml bottle per month.

        So people saved their purchase for the tail end of one month and the beginning of the next month and then went on epic benders every other month.

        Sweden relented, but they still want to use cashless society to monitor people and encourage good habits. Single payer healthcare has a right to control you.

      • Grosspatzer

        “Epic benders”. On two fifths? What is the world coming to?

      • hayeksplosives

        There were also some good books published in Swedish detailing exactly how NOT to accidentally make your own hootch. Very detailed instructions so you could be sure not to do it.

        Shows some flicker of Viking left.

      • Ted S.

        Some months back, I watched Ingrid Bergman’s debut film, The Count of the Old Town, which has as a plot point alcohol rationing. That made me look up whether Sweden ever had prohibition. It didn’t, but there was a referendum on it in 1922 that narrowly failed, 51-49.

        Apparently men and women voted separately because the article breaks down the vote by gender, noting that 59% of men voted against prohibition while 59% of women were Karens who voted for it.

      • hayeksplosives

        Voting breakdowns by gender always leaves me in despair for my fellow (?) women.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I read recently a piece (linked from here, probably) about how Austria and Japan still prize cash. Can’t find it but I think BBC Culture, pre-Covid.

      • dbleagle

        Change requires constant circulation. Stores receive change, distribute it and receive it daily, send excess back to banks, and the banks re-issue it. The cycle continues.

        As in person shopping constricts, circulation of change falls. As efforts to encourage “touch free” credit/debit card use, the circulation falls. Add to it the silly notion that the Kung Flu adheres to base metals, you exacerbate a problem.

        The USG can’t act fast enough at the two circulating coinage mints to push more change out- in the short term. If you re-open the economy and stop the kung flu bullshit the coinage situation will quickly resolve itself

      • Grosspatzer

        Checks handle, notes advocacy for coin privilege 🙂

    • hayeksplosives

      If the US goes cashless, isn’t that way more tangible as a way to cut underprivileged people from participating than the “voter ID is disenfranchisement!” And “registering to vote in advance harms minorities” arguments?

      • Derpetologist

        You can’t spell underprivileged without derp!

    • Nephilium

      I believe they shut down the mints as “non-essential”, so the change supply has been getting lower and lower.

      One thing that stuck with me from I Will Fear No Evil by Heinlein was the rant about currency being legal tender and the character refusing to open a credit card to buy clothes.

      • Grumbletarian

        This, but also the Federal Reserve Banks are ordering less circulation to protect their workers. I used to work in management for a nation-wide coin processing company that worked closely with the FRBs and armored car carriers. Not Brinks, but one of their peers. I was told by my former supervisor that they are 80% furloughed right now. The company used to process literally millions of dollars worth of coins per day.

  14. hayeksplosives

    By coincidence, I also am making fruity goodness. The apple bounty was high, too high to keep up with, so I cooked a bunch with sugar, cinnamon, love, etc.

    Then this morning Mr Splosives declared himself competent to make them into turnovers using Phyllo.

    It immediately became clear that he had no idea what he was doing. So he got frustrated and took it out on me with his trademark crabbiness that comes out when he screwed up and needs to deflect to someone else (that is usually me).

    So I made one nice tray of them, and he made 4 giant burritos of apple/phyllo that will never work.

    But it’s a nice day and I have two of my pretty turnovers in front of me for breakfast.

    Cheers!

    • UnCivilServant

      I hate working with phyllo. I’ts no friend of mine either.

    • l0b0t

      Sorry Hayek. Sounds delicious though. Unlike some folk, I love working with phyllo – my galaktoboureko is sublime and I’m working on a recipe for a THC infused baklava (probably end up using infused butter for the layering; adding the flowers to the nut-meats might be a bit much). I have a chum whose Albanian grandmother in Kew Gardens makes the leaves from scratch; I don’t think I have the patience for that.

      • hayeksplosives

        Sounds yummy! I have no problem with Phyllo, but the spousal unit does. Unbeknownst to me, he’s never used it, so I was surprised he bought it and now totally unsurprised he had no idea how to do it.

      • l0b0t

        There is a bit of a learning curve because of its delicacy but with quality frozen leaves available at the grocer, he shouldn’t be afraid to keep plugging away at it until he gets it right (shudders recalling the years it took me to finally make pretty omelets and my continued failure in the crepe department). Phyllo also makes for a yummy pot-pie wrapping (lemony chicken and artichokes make a good base for a filling).

      • hayeksplosives

        I’d be fine with it if he good-naturedly made a total mess and failed. The fact that he defaults to frustrated rage monster is something I failed to spot before tying the knot. He’s my mess, so by extension, the phyllo mess is mine to deal with now.

        Water off a duck’s back. Kein Problem.

      • Tulip

        Lemon, chicken, and artichokes in a Phyllis pot pie sounds awseome

      • Nephilium

        When I was a young kid, me and my sister (and I assume the rest of my cousins) were drafted to help grandma make strudel dough from scratch. In her later years, she switched over to store bought phyllo.

        I don’t think I’ve worked with it for quite a while. Puff pastry is another thing entirely, I’ve usually got a couple of packs of that up in the freezer.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Mmm, galaktoboureko.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Pics needed.

      • egould310

        Yeah. Pics please, l0bot.

      • l0b0t

        Those will, unfortunately, have to wait a month or so. I’m moving in a couple weeks and everything is pretty much packed up at this point. I use Cream Of Wheat, mixed with finely chopped dried apricots for the filling and often use rose water in the syrup..

  15. leon

    RE Portland, one thing Styxenhammer said, that I agree with, is that this is what the left wanted Trump to do, if in miniature scale. Now they will paint him as Pinochet or Hitler, a wannabe dictator sending out death squads.

  16. TARDIS

    Since this is a beverage post, I’ll mention I picked up a bottle of Bulleit 95 Rye as my spirit of choice this afternoon and evening. It’s been mentioned several times, so I thought I’d try it. I’ll probably be out of commission before the boozy video klatch, if there is one. Did I miss anything?

    Also my NA Beer Review:

    O’Douls: Barely drinkable, but if you have to stay sober and want something that resembles beer, it’ll work.
    Heineken 0.0: Much better, not awesome, but enjoyable enough. $2 more/six-pack. 2.5/5.0

    NA beer in general: none of the alcohol, half of the calories, some of the flavor, all of the flatulence.

    • l0b0t

      My local was out of the handles of Wild Turkey 101 so I tried some Old Granddad 114 proof. It was a VERY good mixer but too throat searing (even with an ice cube) for me to drink straight.

    • hayeksplosives

      ODouls Amber is alright.

      But if I’m not drinking alcohol, I just go for tea or cola, not fake beer.

      • TARDIS

        Well, if you try the Heiny, let me know what you think.

    • mrfamous

      Clausthaler is alright.
      Guinness makes one called Kaliber which is a darker NA style and its ok

      • TARDIS

        Guess I’ll have go to Total Wine. There is a very limited selection near me.

      • mrfamous

        They serve Kaliber at wine bar near my house

        There’s another one that serves one called Buckler that is better than O’Douls anyway

    • Tres Cool

      Drinking beer with no alcohol is like dating a woman with no vagina.

      • Viking1865

        Fucking transphobia. I’m literally shaking right now.

      • UnCivilServant

        But enough about your DTs.

    • Chafed

      You had me at flatulence.

    • Grosspatzer

      Not if the firing squad is expected to actually hit them.

      • Ted S.

        This is what woodchippers are for.

      • TARDIS

        $#@&^!

      • TARDIS

        @$#%@#%!

    • TARDIS

      No wall, just a conveyor belt into the woodchippers spraying into large burn pits. They really do want their full-on police state, don’t they?

    • Grosspatzer

      Braunschweiger?

    • Gender Traitor

      So have the Amish gone rogue?

      • UnCivilServant

        No, look at the sloppy application of glue, the poor wrapping with half-charred nylon. That is not Amish craftsmanship.

      • DEG

        Yep.

      • The Hyperbole

        Meh, Amish craftsmanship is the same as anyone else’s, some of them are very good, some mediocre, and some bad. I like the Amish (well the ones I know anyway) and I don’t begrudge them like some builders but I take exception with the fiction that they as a group have some special innate craftiness.

      • UnCivilServant

        I hold them to a higher standard.

        Just like I hold you to a higher standard of commenting. You have disappointed.

      • The Hyperbole

        First Derp now me, you’re having a very disappointing day so far. Perhaps you should drop those expectations down a peg or two.

      • UnCivilServant

        Why should I change? You’re the ones missing the mark.

      • The Hyperbole

        Fair enough, I’ll endeavor to persevere comment betterer.

    • Plinker762

      Mule tape and hot glue. (At leastI hope it is hot glue)

      • Tres Cool

        Looks like RTV sealant over a tube of Goetta.

    • Sean

      Anyone watch it?

      • UnCivilServant

        Don’t have TV, or I might.

      • Grosspatzer

        Did not know about it, will have to check it out. Dirty Jobs is one of the few shows my entire family will watch together. Sons and I watch for the job content, the wife watches for… well, you know.

      • Viking1865

        Mike Rowe has an excellent podcast where he tells little amusing anecdotes with a twist. Called The Way I Heard It.

        “the wife watches for… well, you know.”

        Bringing up Mike Rowe around the middle aged office ladies is always funny. They practically fan themselves and lay a towel on the chair.

      • Gender Traitor

        As far as I’m concerned, a lot of his appeal is The Voice.

      • Viking1865

        Well subscribe to the podcast and enjoy The Voice on demand.

        For the 4th of July he read Patrick Henry’s “give me liberty or give me death” speech.

      • Gender Traitor

        I watched the first episode. (If it was on again this past Tuesday, I missed that episode.) I think I was immersed in crocheting, but IIRC, it was mainly a clip show following specific themes, with Mike & his crew reminiscing while road-tripping in an RV. Not bad, because Mike Rowe.

      • hayeksplosives

        The wokesters are trying hard to cancel Mike Rowe, not for his politics (practically non existent publicly), but for the High Crime of not being into their brand of new woke politics.

        They probably are also vaguely unsettled by his cis-hetero-diy self-reliance, and the fact that he says college ain’t for everyone.

      • Viking1865

        In 2020, if you’re not a woke/cancel culture/identity politics fanatic, you’re conservative.

        Alan Dershowitz is a rightwing extremist now. The same Alan Dershowitz who has publicly advocated the repeal of the 2nd Amendment isn’t leftist enough for the wokescolds.

      • Gender Traitor

        Not on that episode, I don’t believe. I think they may have gone to visit some past participants, but at the end, when Mike formerly would ask people to submit job suggestions, he started to but interrupted himself to say, essentially, “Oh, yeah – we can’t do that.” (If anyone else saw it and know that I’m misremembering that, I’ll stand corrected.)

      • UnCivilServant

        Then what good is it!?!

        I’ve seen the existing content.

      • Gender Traitor

        From the press release:

        Part reunion, part road-trip, part look-back-special, and part “where-are-they-now,” this series highlights everything that made DIRTY JOBS an “essential” franchise in the first place.

        But it’s only four episodes. : (

      • UnCivilServant

        But what we really need is new jobs.

  17. Mojeaux

    @Hyperion, the Win10 lover.

    Why do my wireless mouse and keyboard drag, skip, and stutter in all applications? The longer the computer is on, the worse it gets. This has happened with 3 sets of keyboard/mice so far. I “fixed” one thing totally unrelated, but related because it stopped it from happening–for a while. I have googled and googled and googled. It’s a common problem. And all I get are nonsense “fixes”. I finally had to break down and get a wired keyboard and mouse, which function perfectly, but also necessitates a USB hub. There is a reason for wireless and now I have wires EVERYfuckingwhere. Any tips?

    • Nephilium

      What’s the brand/model of the mouse/keyboard? If it gets worse the longer it’s on, that generally indicates an issue with an application/service that’s running.

    • Sean

      They’re operating on the same frequency as the surveillance equipment the FBI installed in your home. ?

    • Grosspatzer

      Check the thermostat?

      • egould310

        Also, fried chicken.

      • hayeksplosives

        I would pay a high price for some old fashioned fried chicken and okra right now.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m afraid I can’t help, though I’d join you for that meal.

      • C. Anacreon

        I’d gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.

      • UnCivilServant

        Only if it is last Tuesday.

      • egould310

        Hayek since you’re in SoCal no, check out any of the Nick’s locations. http://nicksrestaurants.com/

        Always good food, good service, good cocktails. One of the few things I miss about Cali. My wife and I were regulars at the Long Beach location.

    • hayeksplosives

      I never did get the Bluetooth to work on my brand new pc, which was sold as a unit so I’d like to think it would be compatible with its own motherboard.

      Now my personally owned laptop “upgraded” and it won’t let me log in without setting up a MS account!! Fuck Microsoft! This is MY computer, and they won’t let me use it??

      Microsoft Windows has officially become a virus.

      • UnCivilServant

        Every time I’ve tried to get bluetooth to work on anything, it’s failed.

        I think it’s a lemon technology in general.

      • l0b0t

        You can, if so inclined, create a throwaway Hotmail account. Do the initial sign-in with that and then switch to Personal Account in Settings once the installation is complete.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    A teachers union in North Carolina has issued a host of expansive demands it says must be met before schools in the state can re-open, including a suspension on mortgage payments and the implementation of universal healthcare.

    The Durham Association of Educators said on its website this week that politicians demanding the re-opening of schools are “prepared to let [teachers] get sick and die.”

    Calling the COVID-19 pandemic “a game of Russian Roulette,” the union acknowledges that while “children are suffering without school,” remote learning should nevertheless “remain the default” indefinitely, and that the state’s governor “needs to shut down the state to flatten the curve.”

    In addition to shutting down the state, the teachers also list “concrete policies that have permitted other countries to flatten the curve and return to public life.” Among them are “moratoriums on rent and mortgage, universal health care, [and] direct income support regardless of immigration status.”

    I can fix that:

    “HELP WANTED- Teachers”

    • Ted S.

      The Durham Association of Educators said on its website this week that politicians demanding the re-opening of schools are “prepared to let [teachers] get sick and die.”

      They say this as though it were a bad thing.

      • R C Dean

        Wear an N95 and a face shield. If it’s good enough for the Health Care Heroes, it’s good enough for you.

    • Grosspatzer

      Or, they could actually play Russian Roulette. Might learn something about probability.

    • Viking1865

      “Among them are “moratoriums on rent and mortgage, universal health care, [and] direct income support regardless of immigration status.”

      An unbiased media would ask every politician endorsed by the union if they agreed with this statement, and publicize the answers.

    • leon

      It’s for the children!!!

  19. The Late P Brooks

    Needz moar iron-fisted dictatorz

    Dr. Anthony Fauci said Friday state and local government leaders should be “as forceful as possible” in urging the wearing of face masks to prevent the spread of the deadly coronavirus, which the top infectious disease expert says is still in the first wave in the United States and has hit Americans “very severely.”

    Fauci said the United States needs “to get better control” over COVID-19 and masks must be a priority as the country opens up.

    “I would urge the leaders — the local, political and other leaders — in states and cities and towns to be as forceful as possible in getting your citizenry to wear masks,” Fauci, the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, said during a video conference with the U.S. Chamber of Commerce.

    ——-

    “…Physical distancing is the most important, but practically when you’re living your life and trying to open up the country. You are going to come into contact with people. And for that reason, we know that masks are really important. And we should be using them. Everyone.”

    Fauci’s comments come as state and local leaders have taken wildly different approaches to mask-wearing, with Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp now suing Atlanta Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms to block her from requiring masks in her city.

    Fauci, who has been subjected to a White House campaign to undermine his credibility, said he thinks pandemics like COVID-19 are going to become more “likely” because of close human and animal interactions, such as in Chinese wet markets, where wild animals can spread harmful new illnesses to humans.

    While the current pandemic is still rapidly spreading with more than 3.4 million infections and nearly 137,000 deaths in the U.S., Fauci said there will be a day when America returns to normal through public health measures and scientists at work developing therapeutics and a vaccine.

    “We feel cautiously optimistic that we are on the road — as bleak as it may sound right now — that we are on the road of getting this under control,” Fauci said. “… Yes, we will get back to normal with schools, and we will ultimately get back to normal with every other aspect of our lives.”

    OBEY

    I hear people become much more compliant when you handcuff their hands behind their backs and strangle them.

    Go fuck an armadillo, Foochy.

    • Gustave Lytton

      more “likely” because of close human and animal interactions, such as in Chinese wet markets, where wild animals can spread harmful new illnesses to humans

      Yeah, it’s just inevitable. Until recently, animals and man were entirely separated.

    • Derpetologist

      An armadillo’s too good for him. I say a porcupine doused in tabasco.

      • hayeksplosives

        Poor lil porcupine…

      • Grosspatzer

        Curly Howard has a sad.

  20. mrfamous

    Video on current Coronavirus strategy video with Epidemiologists. Featuring Thomas Jefferson (who unsurprisingly is opposed to masks):

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3plSbCbkSA

    • dbleagle

      Once you hear it in the wild, you will never forget it.

      The AH-1 flechette needed careful timing or the “nails” lose lethality quickly. As an LT my infantry platoon had two M-67 90mm recoilless rifles. Those flechette rounds were all kinds of awesome. We had a TTP where the first shot was AP which would kill infantry and open a lane of fire. The second round was AT. I am glad we never had to test that against the Soviets. (90mm was superior to the Dragon)

      This is everybody’s favorite 18.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUdY45MpDLY

      There is much to be learned about using that weapon to max effect.

    • TARDIS

      That’s a proper bromance right there.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Has anyone noticed the National Change Shortage?

    *looks at multiple containers of change*

  22. egould310

    Shoegaze for a Saturday afternoon https://youtu.be/qGYLDcH2kF8

    Cheers to all you Glibiots! Sipping a Smirnoff and Emergen-C.

    • Nephilium

      Rehydrating with some iced tea now, got a fully stocked beer fridge, and am contemplating what type of frozen cocktails to make with the ice cream maker.

      Also, affogato.

    • Tres Cool

      I got a couple of decent ribeyes salted and sweating like me in church. Best way to insure it rains is for me to plan on grilling anything.

  23. Derpetologist

    interesting – immune and municipal have the same root – munis means ready for service in Latin. Immunae were those exempt from military service in ancient Rome. The meaning related to disease came about in the19th century.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    Your pickanick basket, or your life

    Rangers killed a black bear in Yellowstone National Park after it bit a camper last week, park officials announced Wednesday.

    A female black bear entered a backcountry site a few miles from the Hellroaring Trailhead where five backpackers were camped on the evening of July 6.

    The bear bit a woman on the arm and head and nipped at a child’s right hand. The woman and child were sitting outside their tents at the time. The bear then started eating the group’s food, which hadn’t yet been hung. Three adults and two children were staying at the site.

    ——-

    When rangers arrived, the bear was still eating the group’s food. Because it entered an occupied campsite, bit a person and ate human food, it had to be killed, according to a news release. Animals in the park that become dependent on human food may become more aggressive, the release said.

    BLACKBEARLIVESMATTER

    • Ted S.

      Another COVID-19 death.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Didn’t someone here say not long ago to play dead with grizzlies but (try to) run from black bears?

    • Tres Cool

      Ive worked around/under/on top of boilers most of my life, and Im keenly aware that they can be a bomb waiting to happen. Never bothers me.
      However, having that boiler so close to my nuts like that engine- Id question my skills & ability if I had to straddle it like that.

      • Derpetologist

        There was a staged train crash in TX in 1896 as a publicity stunt, but the boilers exploded and a few people got killed. There were still staged crashes all the way up through the 1930s though.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNGGuxMEtQU

      • juris imprudent

        I still remember a steam-powered car boiler that blew when I was a kid at Knott’s Berry Farm (during a parade of antique cars). There were some nasty burns.

      • dbleagle

        If you are going to put a live boiler near your nuts, go large. Have a Big Boy 4884 there.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEByyEK4dGk

        That is a expensive hobby, but the few times I have visited those clubs they have been very kind with rides.

        For the central AZ glibs there is a group in Scottsdale at the McCormick RR Park. (Or maybe was, since I haven’t been there for over a decade.)

  25. egould310

    Eventually, the wife and I will buy a house here in Seattle. I will get a very expensive espresso machine. Affogato every night.

    The wife makes a very nice low carb ice cream with coconut milk/heavy cream. We usually dress it with Sandeman port. I would love a shot of espresso in the mix.

      • C. Anacreon

        I fucked up.

        You trusted us?

      • egould310

        It’s been a while since I watched Animal House. Might put that in the rotation today.

    • Ted S.

      Why would you want to buy a house in Seattle?

      • Grumbletarian

        He said eventually. He figures in ten years they’ll be about as expensive as houses in Detroit.

    • UnCivilServant

      What’s the linked content?

      • Sean

        Short clip of a girl asking her grandma questions where the answer is the Democrats.

        Like “who started the KKK?”

        The grandma is amusing.

    • Drake

      Nice. Forgot to ask who put Japanese American citizens in concentration camps.

  26. Derpetologist

    This House Paint Was Supposed to Stop a Nuclear Bomb
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kn0XEa4B144

    gist: keep your house and yard clean, or it will all burn when the bomb hits!

    Sponsored by The National Clean Up Paint Up Fix Up Bureau* as part of Operation Doorstep

    *yes, this was a real thing

    • hayeksplosives

      Were they also responsible for adding a daub of lamb’s blood over the door? That shit can stop the Plague of Death.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      TCM often airs that as weekend midnight-movie filler.

    • Ted S.

      TCM has run The House in the Middle several times early on Saturday mornings at the end of the Underground block.

      They’ve also run the entertaining Shake Hands With Danger, which I’ve linked to before.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Hey Tedsss, did you catch the rerun Osborne intro/s the other day? They read my mind.

      • Ted S.

        No. I don’t watch much prime time TV because I work the early shift, and didn’t DVR the movies because I’ve seen them before and don’t have room on my DVR.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        No room on DVR here either. Glad it’s not just me.

        Re-run of R.O.’s intro to Auntie Mame. (2011?)

  27. egould310

    Rest In Peace, Mr. Chi Pig. https://youtu.be/izO4j6ivlYw

    Although you were Canadian, and a complete psychotic weirdo; you were one of the great singers/frontman of any hardcore punk band, ever. I met you twice, and you were always cool to me. Will miss you. I hope there’s lots of drugs wherever you are.

  28. UnCivilServant

    Antiques Roadshow on Prime, Corpus Christi – more guns have shown up than on any other episode I’ve seen.

    My mom loves that show.

  29. hayeksplosives

    Ok, Glib ladies! (Glib men, avert your gaze. Or your gays. Whatever—I’ve heard it both ways.)

    Crazy product for us: the TaTa Towel. It is a comfy towel-like sling to keep the Gals high and dry while lounging or working at home.

    I bought one, and I am not disappointed. Expensive for what it is, but worth it to me to save the hassle. Oh-so-nice on a hot July Caturday. Wearing my tata towel and a skirt. Yay!

    https://tatatowels.com/collections

    • UnCivilServant

      *flat*

      I don’t get it

      */flat*

      • hayeksplosives

        That got a smile.

    • Ownbestenemy

      So truly an over the shoulder boulder holder. Ordering one for the wifey

      • hayeksplosives

        Exactly my thought, re: Boulder holster. Also, Titsling.

      • UnCivilServant

        Titsling sounds like an unfortunate surname.

      • Gender Traitor

        Or an interesting activity. “Would you care to titsle?”

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        “Inspector Titsling, at your Service!”

      • Tres Cool

        “Do you enjoy titsling?”
        “Not sure. Ive never titsled.”

      • TARDIS

        “Here, hold this tall can.”

      • Tres Cool
      • Grosspatzer

        #metoo. Perhaps a Testie Towel for thw winter as well.

      • Tres Cool

        Do your tits hang low?
        Do they wobble to and fro?
        Can you tie ’em in a knot?
        Can you tie ’em in a bow?
        Can you throw ’em o’er your shoulder
        Like a Continental soldier?
        Do your tits hang low?

      • Derpetologist

        And now a word from Betty Spaghetti of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee.

    • Gender Traitor

      ::looks at price. Looks at several balls of thickish cotton yarn just lying around in search of a purpose:: Hmmm….

    • Mojeaux

      “Oh, those look pretty awesome.”

      *looks at price*

      “Not that awesome.”

      • TARDIS

        Speak for yourself. I think they’re great!

      • hayeksplosives

        Yep. Could I make them? Sure. Gotta get the right fabrics from the store, get the drawstring and adjustable fastener, make a pattern, and basically spend an afternoon.

        Or I could buy them. Time is money.

      • dbleagle

        “Time is money” Checks Smithsonian Whiteness exhibit.

        Confirmed. You are a wyepeepo.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I lol’d

      • Mojeaux

        So did I.

      • Mojeaux

        Well, firstly, I’m not that well endowed, so it’s not like I’m getting back aches or anything. I am able to go au naturel and do most of the time.

  30. juris imprudent

    Just finished mowing the lawn, and this is what I’m drinking.

    Brewed and canned by a friend; not available commercially.

      • juris imprudent

        Next time he does a batch I’ll beg enough for the rest of the commonwealth Glibs.

      • UnCivilServant

        Is he a professional brewer who does side batches, or an overzealous homebrewer?

      • juris imprudent

        The latter.

      • Tres Cool

        …but enough about our Nephilium

    • R C Dean

      Is canning home brew a thing now? Back in the day, it was bottles only, or kegs.

      • Urthona

        yup. easy now.

      • Nephilium

        Still has some higher costs involved, and you can’t reuse the cans (like you can bottles and kegs).

    • UnCivilServant

      Agreed, the narrator should shut up.

    • Sean

      Good stuff. I watched it without sound.

  31. Derpetologist

    Snowpiercer, but only the train parts. I wished I watched this movie instead of that lazy rehash of The Matrix.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fttI5Nmuc0Q

    comment gold: I did track maintenance for 34 years and I can tell you right now those tracks would need maintenance in the first 2 years in those conditions

    ^QUIET, YOU!

    • UnCivilServant

      Two years? that’s generous. The tracks would be gone in six months.

      • Derpetologist

        Really, it’s freezing *and* melting that does it, because the repeated expansion and contraction of the metal causes it to fail, like bending a paper clip back and force.

        In fact, in some electrical devices, the process of turning it on and off causes and ever so slight expansion and contraction of the wires (heat of electrical resistance), which leads to failure eventually. It’s the main reason old fashioned light bulbs burn out.

      • UnCivilServant

        We’re not even going to get to that part, the tracks will be wiped out by outside forces.

      • Derpetologist

        I forget how long the track was supposed to be. I vaguely remember it circling the world. Anyway, you’re right – the odds that somewhere along the line there will be an obstacle or an event which breaks the track is pretty high.

        Having everyone live in stationary dwellings underground with nuclear reactors would have been a far better approach, but they made that movie already and it was called The City of Ember.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Hence the Solid State Relay………..

      • Derpetologist

        Ooh, learned something new today. Thanks!

      • UnCivilServant

        “Solid State Relay” sounds like a track and field event.

      • Derpetologist

        I think they opened for Credence Clearwater Revival at Lollapalooza in ’98.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        We wouldn’t have Computers without them

      • Derpetologist

        It took me a bit to realize a transistor is a kind of relay.

      • UnCivilServant

        … I’m disappointed in you, Derpy.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Transistors are more like hoses that someone steps on to restrict flow.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        We all gots the lurnin!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Pay attention and I’ll learn you sumthin and stamp out some ignorance.

        *actually said to me once upon a time*

    • Urthona

      It’s not real. it’s a metaphor for how capitalism is evil.

      • UnCivilServant

        So a meatphor for a fiction?

    • Nephilium

      Skins aren’t necessarily racist.

  32. kinnath

    I am just getting here today. Did we discuss the demise of John Lewis in an earlier thread?

  33. Derpetologist

    today I learned: the N95 mask does not work like a pasta strainer, but instead, the fibers in the mask attract particles which then get stuck, like a spider web. Makes sense. I don’t think any kind of cloth could be made without holes large enough for a virus to get through.

    ignore the obnoxious sjw nonsense at the beginning of the video
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAdanPfQdCA

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The fiber technology was developed for Oak Ridge Labs as part of trying to prevent people from inhaling radioactive dust. It’s also where the first HEPA filters were developed.

  34. Derpetologist

    playing Flight of the Bumblebee on a piano – human vs machine

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ud3goJHb3zY

    human fails at 196 bpm, machine reaches max playing tempo at 519 bpm

    • Surly Knott

      Fun!
      I wonder what they’re using to activate the keys? I’m also curious if the rate could be increased with a software piano (sampled or modeled).

      • UnCivilServant

        Might as well just edit the waveform directly.

  35. The Late P Brooks

    I don’t think any kind of cloth could be made without holes large enough for a virus to get through.

    Any old rag will do. It shows you care.

    • Q Continuum

      Your offering to the virus gods demonstrates your devotion. You will be rewarded in the utopia to come.

    • dbleagle

      That’s why I don’t wear a mask. I don’t care.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        not til next month,

    • dbleagle

      It is not sludge. It was a standard Tucson area flash flood in a wash. The burned wood and ash just made the leading edge more black than usual. Can’t they just do straight reporting?

    • Gustave Lytton

      Does that include those protected from eviction due to recent government action?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Nm. I’ll join the active post.

    • UnCivilServant

      How does the voice sound compared to the two people before?

      • Derpetologist

        The video does not give any before and after voice samples. He was able to speak normally after everything healed.