Um…Links of the Afternooning

by | Jul 20, 2020 | Daily Links | 258 comments

 

SO….looks like I might be the only one who can log in and provide the comment space…um, links that plants crave!

So, here you go all you rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.

  • Remember, THE CHILDREN ARE OUR FUTURE. TEACHERS CARE! Or something.
  • Figures… I mean, what else can we have to make lawyers look even more like…well, nevermind.
  • OBEY!

About The Author

Swiss Servator

Swiss Servator

Currently serving at the pleasure of a Swiss multinational. Previously a Soldier, rugby player, lawyer, bouncer, bartender, substitute teacher, risk manager, and cubicle mushroom. Will work for raclette.

258 Comments

  1. Yusef drives a Kia

    DO NOT GATHER!
    First!

  2. Not Adahn

    Linking to oneself is what got Onan smoted. just sayin’

    • Swiss Servator

      ALLES IST IN ORDNUNG! …. jetzt.

    • Bobarian LMD

      Some people are into that sort of thing.

      Rule 34.

  3. Rebel Scum

    The Florida Education Association, which represents teachers in the state, sued the state on Monday, claiming the planned restart of classroom instruction next month during the pandemic would jeopardize the health of its members and students.

    To be fair, attending public schools damages students.

    • leon

      For once i agree with the Teachers Union. ! END PUBLIC SCHOOLING NOW!

    • EvilSheldon

      Every black cloud has a silver lining, etc, etc…

      I wonder if this obviously self-serving, rapacious bitch-assedness is going to finally break the, “tEAchrZ Ar heROz!!!” meme in the public consciousness.

      • Apples and Knives

        I’m seeing it happen on my Facebook feed as we speak.

      • Viking1865

        Yeah, as a society (generalizing and collectivizing here) we have the following model of education:

        1. The State extracts large amounts of tax revenue to educate children. National average of about 11,000 dollars.

        2. Education is conducted in large, purpose built facilities that include athletic, cafeteria, music, art, drama, etc facilities in addition to classrooms.

        3. Students are transported to these facilities via bus and returned home, spending roughly 7 hours door to door.

        This model essentially requires two working parents, to pay the taxes which fund the system. Our entire family and employment model is built around it. These fucking union stooges and lazy teachers are acting like it’s as simple as the switch from going to the gym to working out at home, or restaurant dining to DoorDash.

        We pay more in property taxes then we do in groceries precisely so you will take our children to a large well maintained building to learn, socialize, exercise, and create with other children their age. Paying 10,000 fucking dollars a year for zoom calls is an absurd idea.

      • Drake

        Here, here! Well said.

        If you can’t or won’t teach my kids, just give me the $10k per and I’ll make other arrangements.

      • Mad Scientist

        I’d much prefer that the breeders pay for their own kids’ daycare and they rest of us get our money back.

      • The Hyperbole

        Ding Ding DIng, we have a winner!

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        as somebody planning on paying for private school, I cosign this wholeheartedly

  4. Yusef drives a Kia

    Swissy, #2 link is,,, odd

    • Not Adahn

      Linksterbation.

      • Swiss Servator

        NEIN…alles hast repariren sein.

      • Ted S.

        I see you’re speaking Schwyzerdütsch again.

      • Swiss Servator

        To the Germans I sound odd now. To the Swiss, I still sound German. I am screwed. Of course, I can still read and write fine.

      • Ted S.

        My German relatives always had trouble with Schwyzerdütsch.

        I try to keep up my German by downloading newscasts from the various broadcasters like SRF. That’s in standard German. When I’ve made the mistake of downloading a program in the Swiss dialect, well, good luck with that. 🙂

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        Swiss German ain’t German.

      • Ted S.

        True that. Needs more ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßß.

      • I'm Here To Help

        I’m married to a Schwäbisch woman. I can understand German. I can’t understand a bit of what she says to her family. She always complains of my Hessian accent when I try to speak German. I didn’t even know I had an accent…

  5. kinnath

    2nd link is broken

      • Not Adahn

        See? We DO check out the links!

      • Swiss Servator

        *mulls over*

        You did….

        *salutes*

  6. leon

    That 2nd Link looks good Swiss. Don’t let the Nay Sayers get you down.

  7. Not Adahn

    Ok, unless someone else is more batshittengly entertaining, I’ll be voting for Kanye

    https://www.rev.com/blog/transcripts/kanye-west-rally-speech-transcript-in-south-carolina-july-19

    Kanye West: (05:33)
    Inside of the very first rally. [crosstalk 00:05:33] I’ve made a decision that Summer is going to express her feelings and information on police brutality. Silence please.

    Summer: (05:33)
    Okay, so my feelings on police brutality is not everyone should be allowed onto the police force, first of all. So many people are on the police force that shouldn’t be in the police force. They just want to have authority in action and power. Not only that, what he was saying about brainwashing, obviously he’s right. He’s Kanye West.

    Summer: (06:04)
    [inaudible 00:06:04] brainwashing people, stuff like TikTok. TikTok is brainwashing little kids. People are on here at 3 years old watching TikTok.

    Kanye West: (06:04)
    Pause, pause. If you guys want to whisper, go outside and talk. We need absolute silence, we need absolute order. That is the only way for this country to be back in order. And for us to have absolute order, respect, dignity, and honor for those that we showed up in here and that are speaking. Summer is talking right now, if you see someone next to you that nudges you or tries to whisper. Hold your hand and say, this person is distracting me from what Summer is saying right now, and we will have them escorted out.

    Kanye West: (06:04)
    Now Summer, go ahead.

    Summer: (06:04)
    So on the topic of brainwashing, just everything brainwashes us now. Social media, if they want something, they can program it into our minds. TV, social media, literally everything and the state of the nation is just it’s in complete dismay.

    Summer: (06:04)
    There’s one cop that feels like everything is okay, there’s one out that feels like everything is in tatters. And I wish everyone can just come together, respect everyone’s opinions. You don’t have to agree with them, but you can always respect their opinion and that’s how I feel. I have expressed what I needed to say.

    That bolded part really should be his campaign slogan.

    • leon

      I hope he gets more and more traction.

    • EvilSheldon

      I’m convinced.

  8. Not Adahn

    lawyer and men’s rights activist Roy Den Hollander, federal sources said

    Hoo boy. Now the media is going to be on a never ending cycle about the evil of the Dutch.

    • C. Anacreon

      Now the media is going to be on a never ending cycle about the evil of the Dutch.

      What a treat.

      • egould310

        Start punning it up Doc, and Swiss will come by and schultz the thread down.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Isn’t Swiss’ campaign against puns really him tilting at windmills?

        It isn’t like we will ever stop.

      • egould310

        “ It isn’t like we will ever stop.”

        Us Glibs are known to clog a thread with puns.

      • Spudalicious

        We’ll just have to root out the culprit.

      • Plisade

        You can bank on it.

      • Gender Traitor

        Wooden shoe enjoy that?

      • Surly Knott

        Imma just skate right past that.

    • Tonio

      Government schoolteachers always be telling us how important they are; but when they’re actually asked to step up to the plate like other essential workers they’re like “we’re not babysitters.” Except the problems with that are: That they the teachers, not the parents or school bureaucracy, are classifying it as babysitting instead of essential in-classroom instruction. Teachers don’t get to define working conditions, or at least shouldn’t in any sane universe without unions for government employees; that’s the purview of the school bureaucracy and if they don’t like it they can quit.

      • Tonio

        Threading fail. I blame squirrels.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Blame your teachers instead.

      • Count Potato

        Well, he’s a bear. They could have been squirrels.

    • Pope Jimbo

      the evil of the Dutch

      Well they are famous for giving dykes the full Joe Biden treatment.

    • Drake

      Lawyer, men’s rights activist, and patsy.

  9. Rebel Scum

    I mean, what else can we have to make lawyers look even more like…well, nevermind.

    Someone is still stuck on the Saturday titty link…

  10. C. Anacreon

    It seems like teachers unions across the country have seen city, local and state governments capitulate to extreme demands from BLM and Antifa, and have also recognized that the vast majority of the nation’s knowledge of the virus comes from what they’re spoon-fed daily by the media (IOW: “if you go outside without a mask you will most certainly die!!”), so they’ve made the rational decision to shoot for the moon with their requests before returning to work. In Los Angeles, their union has even demanded the elimination of all charter schools — why not destroy the competition while they’re at it? Meanwhile, if all the semester becomes virtual, all their teachers will get to stay at home indefinitely at full pay, perhaps dropping in a daily hour of ‘teaching’ on Zoom. I know there’s a ton of good teachers out there who would love to return to in-person teaching and know they would be at low risk, but they also know their biggest risk would be speaking up now and contradicting their union.

    • Pope Jimbo

      It should be the exact opposite of eliminating charter schools. This should be the perfect time to simply give each kid a voucher to spend on the schooling of their choice.

      If the union doesn’t want to start up, I’m sure that there are all sorts of other businesses that would love to get them a crack at those vouchers.

      • C. Anacreon

        Exactly. Let the nervous nelly public school teachers stay at home, but each kid gets the equivalent of the public-school contribution for them to attend a private school. This would, of course, mean less money for public schools, which would have to result in layoffs or pay cuts for the public schoolteachers. Heck, I would guess that even many parents who were happy for their kids until now to go to a ‘good’ public school would be willing to pay for private school without a voucher just to get their kids what they need. But if there was the suggestion of vouchers or even just a noteworthy flow to private schools to push back against the unions, the terrified public teachers would demand they return to school sites in a hearbeat.

        But of course the D governors/mayors would never do that. The teachers unions are traditionally their best contributors and tend to vote for them en masse, so they’ll always do their bidding. Newsom has already made the edict that all schools in CA will be online this fall, public and private, no exceptions. So he’s ensured you, little nobody parent, that you have absolutely zero options other than moving out of state. How sad for all parents, but especially those with kids with special needs, who might regress substantially because of all this union-fellating.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    I hate Microsoft.

    • Not Adahn

      Welcome to 1988.

    • Ted S.

      I’m sure they hate you too.

    • Drake

      Bill Gates is hard at work creating vaccines that will be just as reliable as his software. You’re gonna love it.

      • Incentives Matter

        Well, at least until the vaccine gives you the Blue Screen of Death.

      • DEG

        Hmmm…. I think herpes not-so-simplex would be better.

      • blackjack

        I made it past the herp, the hiv and the hep, now I gotta deal with the vid.

  12. Rebel Scum

    Cuomo threatens to close ALL New York bars and restaurants if ‘stupid’ crowds and business owners continue to ignore social distancing rules despite hospitalizations reaching their lowest since March 18

    Fuck off.

    Is Cuomo trying to outdo Donald’s bad spray-tan?

    • Drake

      Collectivists really love to dish out the collective punishment.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    I don’t wanna ride this ride anymore. I’m tired of being pissed off all the time.

    • Sean

      #metoo

      • DEG

        #methree

  14. The Late P Brooks

    HELP WANTED- Teachers

    Must be willing to work.

    • blackjack

      UTLA’s new slogan? Will not work for socialism!

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Aaaaand… I’m out of beer. Let’s see if I can go get some without succumbing to an apoplectic fit.

    • Spudalicious

      I went off a few days ago. I was still angry when I apologized, so I’m not sure it came across as sincere.

  16. Rebel Scum

    Sure, Nancy.

    “The fact is whether he knows it yet or not, he will be leaving,” Pelosi told Brzezinski. “Just because he might not want to move out of the White House doesn’t mean we won’t have an inauguration ceremony to inauguration a duly elected President of the United States. And you know, I’m second in line to the presidency just last week I had my regular continuation of government briefing. This might interest you because I say to them, this is never going to happen, God willing it never will, but there is a process. It has nothing to do with the certain occupant of the White House doesn’t feel like moving and has to be fumigated out of there because the presidency is the presidency. It’s not geography or location so, so much for him. I wouldn’t spend so much time on it that’s a victory for him because then we’re not talking about your first, more important subject, which is, what are we going to do to stop this vicious virus that is making an assault on our health, again, our lives, our livelihood and life of our democracy.”

    • leon

      “Just because he might not want to move out of the White House”

      Has Trump said “I love the white house so much i never want to move out?”

    • The Other Kevin

      Do people really believe he’d not leave the White House if he lost? Unless he had a huge part of the military on board I just don’t see how that could possibly work.

      • leon

        Some of the dumb base does believe it. I think.

        Nancy does not.

      • Raven Nation

        Dude, at times when I’ve drunk too much I’ve scrolled through Twitter and FB feeds. There are a significant amount of people who KNOW:

        i) Trump will lose in November
        ii) Trump will refuse to leave office/leave the White House
        iii) military leaders will demonstrate their loyalty to the constitution by physically removing Trump from the White House
        iv) he will be taken directly to prison to face charges on treason/crimes against the state/crimes against humanity

        Again, they KNOW this. It’s nuts.

      • Viking1865

        It’s always funny to go back and read their old tweets. Like my Office Prog who was absolutely convinced about every single Russia Fever Dream, I heard about it for literally years. Then, all of a sudden, crickets.

    • kinnath

      Part of me needs to believe the universe will eventually smite Pelosi and all her cohorts down in a gruesome fashion.

    • Evan from Evansville

      I rode my mom’s bike around the parking lot three times last week to prove to myself that I could. It was incredibly smooth and boring. Ya don’t forget that shit. Tis true.

      That person is insane. I, uh…am getting outmatched!…I bet I’m a better drummer! GOTTA GET LAID SOMEHOW!

  17. Pope Jimbo

    Animal may have some competition (or a soul mate?).

    A Newark woman went for a mile-long ride under the city of Passaic during Monday’s flash flood. She survived the ordeal after being “shot out” into the Passaic River, a result authorities referred to as “miraculous.”

    Nathalia Bruno, 24 and a driver for DoorDash, was in Passaic on Monday afternoon when she attempted to drive through deep water near High Street and Benson Avenue, said Passaic Fire Chief Patrick Trentacost.

  18. Gustave Lytton

    I hate work. Email request from another workgroup’s lead, asking to borrow my keys for a new hire. “temporarily”.

    a) wtf didn’t you order them as part of the onboarding process?

    b) why does she need keys when most doors are badged?

    c) why doesn’t she borrow from her own teammates as needed?

    d) what happened to the keys for the person she replaced?

    e) what happened to the loaner keys and extra returns that your previous lead had?

    f) why the eff should I give out the keys I need to do my work, and are serialized & issued, to some rando?

    Gah. Can’t really ask those questions and don’t want to draw too much attention to f) as I might have an extra back up set.

  19. OBJ FRANKELSON

    Man I am glad I retired… Maybe Derpy can provide some insight but seeing as at least half the officers in command billets are asxhicken shit as the day is long, I can only imagine the metric ton of bullshit that company level leadership is pushing on their Soldiers. Between the Commie Cough and the. Black Lives Marxists, there are going to be a great many pairs of panties are going to be in a bunch.

    • Derpetologist

      Commie Cough? Not cool, buddy. The preferred term is Wu Ping Cough (thanks to whoever here coined that gem).

      Based on my own experience and what I have read and heard from bygone eras, some things have gotten better, some things have gotten worse, and a lot has stayed the same.

      I’m happy that at least I don’t have to shine and polish black boots.

      It’s a package deal. I take the good with the bad and try roll with the punches. What else is there?

      • creech

        I remember the shoe shine shit from ROTC. March around the fucking dusty field for an hour and then some pissant “officer” gigs you for having dust on the shine. A couple of guys actually enameled their shoes’ toes so a quick wipe on pant legs made them spotless just before inspection.

  20. Aloysious

    METHODIST!?!!

    I’ve never been so humiliated in all my life!

    • C. Anacreon

      Stone denies it completely and the audio is garbled, but the radio host insists he said it. Of course, he could have called him a ‘zero’ and it might have sounded similar enough for a guy looking for racism to find it. The host believes he is infallible as the pope, sending out this tweet:

      “Who are you going to believe, who is more credible?” O’Kelly asked in a tweet on Sunday night. ” Are you going to believe the radio host with an impeccable professional history with the rock solid audio … Or the guy convicted on 7 felony counts of lying to congress and witness tampering? Choose wisely.”

      • Viking1865

        Audio sounds pretty clear to me. Unless they straight up faked it, I think he said it. Because Roger Stone is a giant asshole.

      • kinnath

        Roger Stone is 5 years older than I am.

        It comes from a generation where saying “negro” is being polite.

        It’s been eclipsed by black, then african-amercian, and then back to Black.

        But I have never heard it described as a slur.

      • Viking1865

        It is definitely a slur in this context. He’s not saying “Get me the head of the United Negro College Fund so I can make a donation.”

      • kinnath

        It has certainly been a great way to display a lot of contempt while addressing black people.

        That doesn’t make the word itself a slur.

      • Drake

        I always wonder if it’s a slur if you’re speaking Spanish.

      • C. Anacreon

        Oh, I didn’t see they had the actual audio, I was just going by the text. You are right, though, Stone is asshoe, regardless.

        Meanwhile, as the press focuses on this silly distraction, they’ve completely failed to notice this much more important press release about an issue that will widely impact the Black community, from the National Medical Association, which is the organization for African American physicians — their call for schools to reopen in the fall. Needs that superhero sweating over the button on which constituency they want to favor — teachers unions or this physician organization, looks like that call has already been made.

        Something truly important to Blacks that is being ignored by the media.

  21. Derpetologist

    machine gun fires 700 rounds in 1 minute, suppressor melts – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BczhT1ByrXA

    I only have a few more of these. I think I found most of the best stuff on youtube this weekend. Now I’ll be forced to do things like exercise and read books to occupy my spare time.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That seems… unadvisable.

      I was waiting for the breech to explode.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Wrecked the Barrel, For certain, damn!

    • Plisade

      Thanks! I needed that.

    • Spudalicious

      Damn, that was fun.

    • Bobarian LMD

      That is why military no suppress weapons.

      Note- Snake-eaters doing special ops shit don’t count.

  22. Evan from Evansville

    So Lady had to do a visa run from Korea to Cambodia. I want you to see how absolutely retarded and corrupt this all is. I can understand a country trying to fleece tourists, but it’s just nonsensical, also on Korea’s end. Or maybe especially in this instance:

    *She’s already in Korea. Signed contract. Test for COVID multiple times. But has to leave the country to get a proper working visa. No, that doesn’t make any sense. She’s already done the COVID shit? Why…make her leave to do it more times?
    *Cambodia is about the only country now letting folk in. So she landed. Everyone on the plane had to get tested in the Phnom Penh airport. Then they got shuffled off to a hotel, all together. The gov’t lied about the price! Yee!
    *She can’t leave to get period stuff; snacks; drinks; smokes; anything. They bring three meals a day to the room at designated times. She missed two of them yesterday.
    *She’ll find out in a few hours the test results for EVERYONE on her flight. If everyone tested negative, she’ll at least get to go to her own hotel room. Less control. But seeking tourist cash, she still has to stay there until Aug 23rd. No point to this but $$$.
    *Then she flies BACK to Korea. Then she has to do TWO MORE WEEKS of quarantine and get tested again.

    Not sure how the timing is supposed to work, but her first day teaching again is supposed to be Sept 1, which won’t be possible unless she’s teaching online for some of that. I will admit, I’ve known this school for about a decade and they are lovely. I want to be there, as well. They paid for her flights and also gave her $5500 for the mega-quarantine journey.

    However, they are also paying her 50% of her salary for about three months when she starts work. That actually makes sense, as they up-fronted her the money to go through all this shit.

    Not a single bit of this makes any logical sense whatsoever. Just have her do quarantine and testing in Korea cuz she’s already there (and already done both) and you can save all the time and fees. It’s just meaningless observance of top-down dictates that have no reflection on what A Good Idea actually looks like. Well. At least she’ll have a nice apartment and work at a good school. Sigh. We have to focus on the positives. Don’t sink into negatives. She might even get to make a mini-vacation out of the second part of her Cambodia stay.

    I know that I’ll have to do my two weeks when I return to Korea, and that’s relatively fine. I’ll focus on curriculum and get my shit all aligned up and get ready to bust those kids up and drop some knowledge bombs.

    If everything works as absolutely best as I can imagine, I’ll have at least three more weeks in the States before going back, and then two weeks locked up. Goal is to start in the beginning of Sept.

    Hopefully this plan works as well as I hope! It might be a situation where I need to move over in advance without even having a contract yet. Right know Koreans are much more likely to hire people who are already there. That might be what I need to do to open some doors, but I am currently talking to many recruiters and schools and want to finalize my future goals.

    Being an expat right now is absolutely full of fucking shit. Thanks for reading. Sorry for the long post!

    • Evan from Evansville

      Holy shit I apologize. I was just typing the situation. It didn’t mean to post that insane wall-of-text! It means something, though. I’m just sorry that i dropped something that large onto everyone. I will accept my flogging. I’ve earned it!

      • Gustave Lytton

        Haven’t you learned anything? Never apologize! It only emboldens the mob.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        You wrote it in such a way as to be readable, WoT or not, what a messed up scene for you guys, Good Fortune!

      • Mojeaux

        A wall o’ text is without paragraphs. You paragraph very nicely. Thank you!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Yeah, what you said,
        Howdy!

      • Evan from Evansville

        Thanks all!

    • grrizzly

      She’s already in Korea. Signed contract… But has to leave the country to get a proper working visa.

      That’s how it works in the US as well since 9/11. If you need a new visa stamp, travel outside of the US and visit a US consulate there.

  23. Raven Nation

    Any word on Rhywun?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I heard Preet finally caught him.

      • Raven Nation

        Hah!

      • Gustave Lytton

        Preet as Col Decker or Dutch Dixon? I like this plot twist.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Major Arnold Ernst Toht, seeking Rhywun’s arcane knowledge of the Dark Ones.

    • DEG

      Hopefully he is recovering.

  24. Apples and Knives

    There needs to be such a thing as anti-hazard pay for teachers, where you get to keep your salary for doing your job.

    “My daughter’s getting anti-hazard pay for teaching in person, five days a week.”

    “Oh, nice.”

  25. Derpetologist

    peak ewww means peak awwww

    Gigantic pulsating parasite extracted from 8-week-old kitten. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fs4jBtL62oI

    You might want to eat dinner first before watching this one.

  26. Shpip

    What to do when you’re a company that wants to hawk its product using a tune, but don’t want to shell out six figures to some pop group for one of their singles?

    Just change the lyrics to a catchy tune that’s 130 years old (and one of the most-parodied songs ever).

    I’m not in the market for their product, but the ad caught my ear. I give it two stars.

    • Viking1865

      “I’m not in the market for their product”

      Stop torturing perfectly good plants into posing as meat! What if, instead of grinding mushrooms and beets into fake burger, you just served a nice mushroom risotto with a side of pickled beets?

      • Derpetologist

        During one of my forays into vegetarianism, I found sauteed mushrooms to be very satisfying. I’d fry eggs and eat them with hashbrowns and sauteed mushrooms and onions.

        Tortilla with avocado and sriracha makes a good snake. Ditto for tortilla plus banana and peanut butter.

  27. DEG

    “The governor needs to accept the reality of the situation here in Florida, where the virus is surging out of control,” association President Fedrick Ingram said in a statement.

    It’s a shame you can’t fire them all like Reagan fired air traffic controllers.

    Hollander had a case pending before Salas, challenging the military’s men-only draft, according to The Daily Beast, which first reported his involvement in the case.

    But ABC 7 NY has reported that investigators believe Salas’ husband was the intended target.

    If the husband is the target, why mention all the cases?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      What do total deaths look like? If that isn’t spiking then I don’t give a damn about positive tests.

      • DEG

        err.. still lower total death rate than NYS. It looks like NYS’s daily reported deaths is now much lower than the Florida daily reported deaths.

      • Breet Pharara

        That shouldn’t matter. Deaths and cases of course go up when you remove the lockdown. The goal was never zero deaths/new cases. The goal was prevent the health system from being overwhelmed. Unless it is, there is no reason tighten restrictions.

        NYC burned through their cases quickly, now comes the time of reckoning for those places that managed to slow the spread. These deaths and cases will either happen now or in another month when a hypothetical second lockdown is lifted. It sucks people die, but this shit isn’t saving anyone.

  28. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Ozzy Man When Animals Fight Back #7:

    https://youtu.be/97hyh43DG5E

    Mostly funny except for the elephant. Somebody had to have gotten seriously hurt or killed before that was over.

    • Spudalicious

      Shit. I watched the whole thing. I’m going to have nightmares.

  29. Gdragon

    Anyone post this gem yet? Pretty funny

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      don’t read the comments, God……….

    • Rebel Scum

      That was great.

    • Count Potato

      Pie did this morning.

      It is funny.

    • JMBOO

      As I heard said once, “We laugh because it is funny. We laugh because it is true.”

    • Spudalicious

      The governor already announced they would be pardoned if charged.

    • Rebel Scum

      So you are saying the solution is final.

      • Drake

        Weird how the corporations diving into this mess. Cisco did the opposite last week when they shitcanned every employee who questioned BLM.

      • DEG

        Austria is still a bit socially conservative.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        What did Cisco do, mine employees’ social media or something?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Suckering employees into being open about what they think and voicing their thoughts is lowest of the low behavior. I’d bet there were emails and whatnot encouraging employees to be honest and forthcoming about their views.

      • Mad Scientist

        I work for Cisco. Being honest and having a frank discussion with your superiors is part of the “culture.” They just killed that part.

        As far as I know, no one was goaded into speaking up.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        If there was already a culture of forthrightness the emails were superfluous. It sounds like a setup to me.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The Ford Foundation was involved. Why am I not surprised?

      • Mad Scientist

        Some people questioned doing all things BLM in the chat section of a company wide meeting.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Cisco just burned a shit-ton of goodwill. I was still hoping to eventually end up back there. Now? fuck that. My current (direct competitor) company offers the same benefits package and the same woke pitfalls. I’ll set my eyes on some different industry.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I know that we say this every week around here, but this shit isn’t going to end peacefully. the Rubicon has been crossed.

    • DEG

      Good.

    • Breet Pharara

      I would buy some if, ya know, Red Bull didn’t taste like piss.

      • Rebel Scum

        I only have had Red Bull back in college when some hotties drove around campus in a Red Bull Mini Cooper handing out free cans.

    • DEG

      Good they’re still fighting.

      • Drake

        Next time I’m down that way I’ll be buying some shirts.

  30. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Does anyone have a timestamp on the Stone interview mentioned above for the slur? Snopes said “The first part of Stone’s statement was not entirely audible, but the radio program transcribed the complete sentences as, “I can’t believe I’m arguing with this Negro.” I’m curious but not curious enough to listen to the whole thing.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Makeup sure does work.

    • Crusty Juggler

      She’s wicked hot so I believe it.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Nice how they bundle the Carlson and Hannity accusations for which there is no corroborating evidence in with Henry for whom they do have corroboration (texts).

    • DEG

      Without reading the article, I’ll take a wild guess that the accusations are horseshit.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It’s just a coincidence that Carlson and Hannity have the highest ratings on cable TV right now. Someone is fishing for a settlement.

      Both Carlson and Hannity have been around for decades. I can’t recall any accusation against them ever.

      • Overt

        TBF: The same was true about a LOT of media personalities until the mob came for them.

  31. Crusty Juggler

    Is anyone else grateful that O&A is finally back in the news?

    • Drake

      Wait, wut? I was just listening to an old show this afternoon.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Cumia’s on the Compound Media channel on YouTube and has some good stuff over there. What’s O doing I wonder?

      • Crusty Juggler

        Picking his nose.

      • Drake

        Filming sunsets.

      • littleruttiger

        He used to have a kind of podcast that often featured a chef named Carl Ruiz (and others, although Carl seemed like the most consistent guest), who died a couple years ago from a heartattack (which was no surprise). Don’t know if he’s still doing that

    • littleruttiger

      Was never a huge fan, but sometimes listen to old clips, along with Ron and Fez clips, as I doze off.

      There used to be an O&A subreddit that was the literal embodiment of a wretched hive of scum and villainy that was often hilarious

      • Crusty Juggler

        The episode of Ron and Fez when Fez comes out is so incredibly funny.

        Ronnie B is a legend.

    • Oy the Billy-Bumbler

      Nope. It’s “pert”.

  32. Count Potato

    “Ted Cruz sounds the alarm on Republicans losing Texas in 2020 saying ‘it’s all over if they win’ as Donald Trump holds microscopic lead over Joe Biden

    Sen. Ted Cruz warned the Texas GOP State Convention if the Democrats win the Lone Star State both the White House and the Senate are gone.

    ‘If the Democrats win Texas it’s all over,’ Cruz said by video to virtual convention attendees. ‘Texas is the single biggest target for the left in 2020, politically speaking. There are 38 electoral votes at stake. There’s a U.S. Senate seat at stake. And Texas is the key to national domination for years to come,’ the Texas Republican pointed out, in the video address he posted to Twitter Sunday. ”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8541229/Ted-Cruz-warns-Democrats-win-Texas.html

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      It being all over for the Republicans if they lose Texas is old news. Someone give Tedward a valium.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      And drugs fall out of their asses?

  33. Count Potato

    “Far-Right Extremist Suggests Treating People Of All Races Equally

    U.S.—A dangerous, far-right extremist has suggested that we treat people of all races equally, shocked and horrified sources confirmed Friday.

    The hateful bigot has been canceled for his controversial comments that people should be treated with respect no matter their skin color.

    “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character,” said the dangerous, alt-right extremist, according to sources. “I have a dream that one day little black boys and girls will be holding hands with little white boys and girls.”

    The offensive comments were platformed at large protests and marches, and everyone associated with the problematic racist has also been canceled.

    “I mean, this is literally Nazism,” said one progressive Twitter user. “He might as well have grown out a little mustache and invaded Russia. We are scouring his old Facebook photos for swastikas and racial slurs as we speak. I’m sure there’s a ton of hateful stuff there.””

    https://babylonbee.com/news/far-right-extremist-suggests-treating-people-of-all-races-equally/

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Is it really satire if it’s only marginally less believable than real life?

    • Derpetologist

      Well played, Bee. You win this round.

      I’ll get you next time, Bee. Next. Time.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Neat

  34. Crusty Juggler

    More Americans dropping acid because ‘the world’s on fire’: study

    Authors of a new study on American adults’ LSD use believe that the hallucinogen has become exponentially more popular as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic.

    “LSD is used primarily to escape. And given that the world’s on fire, people might be using it as a therapeutic mechanism,” University of Cincinnati doctoral candidate Andrew Yockey told Scientific American. “Now that COVID’s hit, I’d guess that use has probably tripled.”

    Yockey and his colleagues this month published one of the first studies to examine acid trends in US adults. Using data from the National Survey on Drug Use and Health, the researchers analyzed responses from 168,000 Americans and found that between 2015 and 2018, LSD intake increased by 56.4% in the US.

    Those with college degrees and people aged 35 to 49 got trippier by the biggest margin during that time, with degree holders doing 70% more LSD and 30- and 40-somethings doing 223% more.

    Researchers believe the psychedelic’s increased popularity in this period may be due to the 2016 presidential election, which made certain demographics more actively seek out a strong form of escapism. The rise of microdosing is also likely a reason. (The National Survey on Drug Use does not ask users their reason for taking LSD.)

    Thanks, Trump!

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      DMT or GTFO.

      • Ozymandias

        DMT is strong, but if you really want to get turned inside out and experience the Ego death, 5 MeO-DMT is the way to go.
        Sonoran desert toads for the win.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I’ve actually never done DMT but it’s on my bucket list. I do find LSD and shrooms hellaciously enjoyable though.

      • Ozymandias

        If you’re ever in the Phoenix area, Stinky, and interested, I am friends with a shaman – a very good friend who has access to all of that stuff. I haven’t tried shrooms or acid, though access to both is relatively easy.
        No joke, I would be happy to facilitate and even take the trip with you and it would be a very safe environment.
        I highly recommend doing the ‘work’ beforehand that my friend requires: it’s a few sessions where he sends a series of documents with some exercises and questions and then discussion about your answers in the weeks preceding. It really helps make the trip intentional and profound, rather than just a “wicked trip, man.”
        Nothing wrong with that, by the way, but I prefer my experiences to be deep, meaningful, and even profound. I’m not the same man I was before.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I appreciate the offer but I don’t think I’ll be making it out that way soon, I live quite a ways away in the deep South. To be honest, when I do trip, which is not that often-maybe a couple or three times per year, I do it in a shallow fashion and don’t read too much into it other than I find it fun and I always try to do it in a familiar environment and I don’t take large doses. I suspect DMT needs to be treated with a great deal more respect though.

      • Ozymandias

        Yeah. I think that’s the proper mindset to have for it. Not fearful, just respectful. My first time there was a young couple who were pretty clearly just there for the “trip.” The Native American medicine man was not too pleased about those kinds of dilettantes and said so in the very beginning, but that was it. No haranguing, just there to help facilitate the journey and learning.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        I’ve commented before about a mushroom trip when I was in my early 20’s that profoundly changed my life. It was the realization that I was a participant in my life rather than an observer. It was probably a “libertarian moment” as I realized my self-awareness and my acceptance that my views were probably in the minority, and that’s okay.

      • Ozymandias

        And a rather fair article from Forbes that provides a little bit of info about it.

      • Raven Nation

        “Sonoran desert toads for the win”

        Here’s a warning about toad.

      • Ozymandias

        Pretty funny. Thanks, RN. Not true, but funny.

        Here’s my “ackshually” -The lyrics seem to be confusing DMT and the toad. Ayahuasca will absolutely make you…purge; but the toad is nothing like that. It is an absolute rocket-ship and you leave orbit before you hit the ground… and I start sitting.
        I can’t say that there aren’t people who have shat themselves on it, but my experiences, including watching probably between 50-100 people get ‘dropped’ while I was waiting to go or after I had already gone, is that I’ve not seen any of that. Not one time. I have seen a few women go through profound orgasm, however, for whatever that’s worth.
        But, again, drinking ayahuasca and then spending the night with that medicine: yes, absolutely. Just reconcile yourself to the likelihood of expelling… a lot. Proper preparation, including diet the week prior and/or a couple of days of fasting, is key.

      • Raven Nation

        Meh, it’s Family Guy (from when it was funny), I wouldn’t read too much into it. I think the main idea of that clip is that PSA’s are basically stupid.

        Here’s an even funnier one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eeg4J8yNk4g

      • Ozymandias

        I know, I was just being a pedant. My apologies.
        Seth MacFarland is a talented dude. I don’t watch Family Guy, but having grown up in RI, the few times I’ve watched it, I loved all of the Rhode Island shout-outs and references and I’ve had some good laughs.
        I thought Million Ways to Die in the West had some funny moments, but overall…? Slightly better than meh.
        Still, mad respect to the guy. Irreverence gets high marks from me.

  35. Count Potato

    “In the race to beat COVID-19, the winner could be cabbage.

    According to a new study from France, foods containing raw and fermented cabbage may be beneficial against the coronavirus by reducing the levels of a compound that helps the virus infect the body, the South China Morning Post reported Monday.

    The study found that cabbage — whether raw, pickled in sauerkraut or mixed into coleslaw — as well as cucumbers and Kimchi, the Korean delicacy made from pickled cabbage and other vegetables, could help people build up resistance to the virus, which has killed more than 606,000 worldwide and 140,000 in the US.

    The European researchers said the abundant antioxidants in the vegetables could explain why countries where cabbage is a key part of the national diet, like Germany and South Korea, had lower fatality rates than hard-hit countries such as the US.”

    https://nypost.com/2020/07/20/foods-containing-cabbage-could-help-fight-coronavirus/

    I’m not believing anything from China.

    • C. Anacreon

      China is asshoe-ing cabbage fields.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Natto is the secret weapon.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Ugh

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      “antioxidants”

      Excellent, I take a Flintstones vitamin every day so I’m covered.

      • Rebel Scum

        Wine is chock full of antioxidants.

      • C. Anacreon

        My cat used to sing:

        We are Flinstones’ cats

        Ten million strong….. and meowing.

    • DEG

      Fuck.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      It is a bit of a slap in the face isn’t it? Honestly, who the hell do these people think they are?

    • Drake

      Will anyone be there to boo the asshole?

    • hayeksplosives

      They finally ruined sports.

    • straffinrun

      *Calls Balk*

    • Ozymandias

      Second comment is the best one:

      “Flip fops. His choice of instrument. My moms choice of discipline.”

      • Ozymandias

        Honorable mention:

        “Imagine the beatings this guy’s children gonna get. They won’t know whether to cry or dance.”

    • littleruttiger

      That’s really really cool

    • kinnath

      How come he no blue?

  36. hayeksplosives

    Cuomo should ask Hilary how the strategy of calling half the electorate deplorable worked out. He’s going with the more straightforward “stupid” angle.

    • Ted S.

      If they didn’t want to be put out of work, they should have gotten essential jobs.

      And if Trump said he got the coronavirus response wrong because he thought it was coming from China when it was coming from Europe, the press would be lambasting him.

      • C. Anacreon

        The press lambaste Trump for saying ‘good morning’.

    • straffinrun

      TBF, I hear people of all political stripes calling humans “stupid”. People that hate people. Never understood that thinking, though I understand the frustration that comes with how history unfolds.

  37. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

    my talismask just came in! it has the added bonus of not fogging my glasses up

    • Incentives Matter

      Awesome. Still waiting for mine to come in.

      Canada: according to U.S. online sellers, it’s further away than Alpha Centauri!

      (FARG!)

  38. UnCivilServant

    Hotter in the house than outside… opened up windows and rearranged fans to try to clear out the hot air.

    Miserable summer so far.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      When your Electric bill jumps to half your rent, talk to to me,
      /Yikes!

      • UnCivilServant

        I have a mortgage. Does that change the math?

        Also, I’m only air conditioning one room.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Mortgage? it depends, I’m have Central though I don’t need it, and not efficient being an old Mobile home,
        started at 80 earlier in Summer, then went 83, 85, now I’m thinking 90, still 25 degrees cooler than ambient and dry, and save money.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        When your Electric bill jumps to half your rent, talk to to me

        The first (and so far, only) time that I had air conditioning was in my off-base apartment when I was stationed at my first duty station, March AFB.

        A/C was so nice that I left it on High Cool all day while I was gone. End of the day and it was like walking into a refrigerator. Wonderful!

        Then I got my bill.

        I think my rent was $115 per month (Air Force Separate Rations pay, coincidentally). My first electric bill was $115. One month’s rent. I shut off the A/C and never turned it back on.

        Since that time I have lived where a fan is usually sufficient in the daytime and it still gets cold enough at night to close the windows.

  39. straffinrun

    Taibi doing God’s work.

    The Left is Now the Right

    Conservatives once tried to legislate what went on in your bedroom; now it’s the left that obsesses over sexual codicils, not just for the bedroom but everywhere. Right-wingers from time to time made headlines campaigning against everything from The Last Temptation of Christ to “Fuck the Police,” though we laughed at the idea that Ice Cube made cops literally unsafe, and it was understood an artist had to do something fairly ambitious, like piss on a crucifix in public, to get conservative protesters off their couches.

    • blackjack

      Pretty sure Mrs. Gore spearheaded the war on music back in the eighties and Al played no small part.

      • straffinrun

        There were fanatics at the church we went to as kids that were team blue and bigger moral scolds than the the the team red people in the church. I forgive Taibbi for not understanding how this worked in flyover over country, but his point stands.

      • Viking1865

        There’s plenty of big government social conservative voters, but since the Republicans will never ever dismantle the New Deal and the Great Society, they never have to choose between their Bible’s and their handouts.

  40. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Principled leftist journalists like Taibbi and Greenwald and Mate do give me some hope but they are woefully outnumbered by the wild-eyed crazies and the liars.