Saturday Morning Perfunctory Links

by | Aug 8, 2020 | Daily Links | 270 comments

 

Look, this is my fuckup, I got too occupied and now find myself just throwing Links together today. Ah well, you get what you pay for.

Birthdays will be limited today to the top candidates, but this guy had a way of spinning reality; and this guy could tilt any baseball field in his favor; and this guy will remind you that “Jewish” and “ham” can go together; and this guy who definitely left his mark on the film world.

News, of course:

 

This has been a back and forth story in Arizona. The governor is at war with the owner of a chain of gyms, and is doing his best to be the biggest vindictive dickhead he can possibly be. At our expense, of course.

 

In Arizona, we hate free enterprise.

 

Well, it’s official- we’re not quite as stupid as the residents of DC.

 

You just can’t make this shit up.

 

Fans of JP Sears will know that his latest hilarious video got taken down by YouTube. Here is the video they feared. In response, JP sent a wonderful message to his email list, where he all but declares himself a libertarian.

Freedom of speech is one of the most beautiful gifts in life. If it continues to erode away into nothing more than a memory, it won’t happen with me sitting on the sideline. If that were to happen, as a bring my son into this world, and one day he asked me, “Dad what did you do when all the freedoms were being taken away?” My answer sure as hell won’t be, ” I watched it happen.” I owe my son better than that and I dare say I owe humanity better than that. You can choose to watch or you can choose to join me in standing for human freedoms. The choice is yours. As my friend Tim Kennedy wisely says, we are living in a time when you get to choose peaceful slavery or dangerous freedom. The choice is yours.

 

This is truly the best of all possible timelines.

 

I’m shocked that confiscatory tax policies lead to this.

 

Old Guy Music wasn’t exactly what I planned, but it was exactly what I needed.

About The Author

Old Man With Candy

Old Man With Candy

Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me. Wait, wrong book, I'll find something else.

270 Comments

  1. Cy

    Woo HOOO!

    • Old Man With Candy

      Is that a city in China?

  2. UnCivilServant

    This is truly the best of all possible timelines.

    … I don’t get it.

    Was the bat radioactive?

    • Sean

      “Libertarian Presidential Candidate to Miss Rally After Being Bitten by Bat”

      Foreign election interference. ?‍♂️

      • Festus' Mustache

        Yeah, but you’ve never met him.

      • Ted S.

        Did the bat say “sorry” after biting Jo?

    • Old Man With Candy

      You’ll find out when SuperJo streaks through the skies over Washington, incinerating the buildings with her heat vision and casually batting away all of the missiles aimed at her.

      • Mojeaux

        That thought Homelander before I thought Superman. Maybe I need help.

  3. Cy

    “To add insult to injury, Wheeler failed to garner the minimum 50 percent plus one vote necessary to avoid a runoff following the city’s primary election in May that saw 19 candidates on the ballot. Wheeler, who pulled in slightly over 49 percent, is now set to face off against urban policy consultant Sarah Iannarone in November.”

    In case anyone was wondering if Portland is truly fucked, the other candidate is an avid backer of ANTIFA.

    • Festus' Mustache

      Great. Just add a little shit and stir.

    • Rhywun

      “I am antifa,” she tweeted in September. “I stand proudly beside the good people of this city organizing in countless ways every day to oppose hate in its myriad forms.”

      ???

  4. Festus' Mustache

    Damn those Hebrews! Never change, my Semitic Friend…

  5. The Late P Brooks

    “I am antifa,” she tweeted in September. “I stand proudly beside the good people of this city organizing in countless ways every day to oppose hate in its myriad forms.”

    Two months later, she tweeted, “If they’re going to call me ‘Antifa Mayor,’ then I might as well fight fascism.”

    A riot is an ugly thing. And it’s just about time we had (another) one.

  6. The Late P Brooks

    Libertarianism can be described as a political viewpoint that the state should not interfere greatly in the lives of individuals. Gary Johnson served as the party’s presidential nominee in the 2016 elections. Johnson garnered over 4 million votes, placing him a distant third behind Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton and the winner of the election, Donald Trump.

    Jorgensen’s presence at the FLAME Solidarity Protest March & Rally aligns with her campaign policy on the American prison system. In a statement released Friday, Jorgensen said the U.S. “cannot claim to be the Land of the Free when we lead the world in incarceration.” If elected, Jorgensen said she would pardon and release “all nonviolent, victimless federal drug offenders.”

    Jorgensen’s platform also includes prohibiting victims of gun violence to sue firearms manufacturers, the blocking of U.S. military aid to foreign governments and the abolishment of the U.S. Department of Education.

    More like “looneytarian”.

    • Festus' Mustache

      She half-assed makes sense.

      • Cy

        At least she hasn’t backed a Clinton during her candidacy. Granted, there’s plenty of time left in the election.

    • Rhywun

      *sigh*

      I hate when she talks good one day, and plugs BLM the next.

      • Viking1865

        Cheering when a company fired a woman for posting “All Lives Matter” means you’re not much of a libertarian, in my book. Plus she’s a Green, and if those people have their way we’ll all be freezing and starving in the dark. Well, they won’t. They’re important, they won’t starve or freeze. Just the deplorables.

    • leon

      “Jorgensen’s platform also includes prohibiting victims of gun violence to sue firearms manufacturers, the blocking of U.S. military aid to foreign governments and the abolishment of the U.S. Department of Education.”

      I get the feeling you think these are all bad things.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      the blocking of U.S. military aid to foreign governments

      Because US military aid to foreign governments is like a force of nature, it just flows naturally on its own like a river unless someone “blocks” it.

  7. The Late P Brooks

    The other epidemic

    Retailers and analysts underscore that first-time purchasers have come from Black, Hispanic and Asian communities – those who were less likely to entertain gun ownership until this year – further amplifying discussions about whether they could sway the political discussions on the Second Amendment.

    “We have seen such an overwhelming increase in membership mainly from women and novice gun owners looking to acquire training that we offer through our partnership with certified instructors,” noted Morgan, who runs the Black gun owners organization. “Right around the time of the COVID-19 quarantine and protesting, our servers crashed with overwhelming amounts of new members and people wanting to access services, joining gun clubs, and looking for training. People who would’ve not otherwise considered owning a gun began to see the importance of becoming their own first responder.”

    Mychael Waller Sr., of MJ’s Firearms just outside Chicago, Ill., – one of the youngest certified firearms dealer and instructors at only 26 – said he is working nonstop to serve his clients, who “come from all walks of life” and are “very open about this subject at the moment.”

    “We have experienced approximately 75% of the recent purchases to be first-time gun owners,” he asserted. “(We) are currently working on making much more training and education available to all, in hopes to encourage new gun owners to understand the importance of gun safety.”

    Others within the Asian American community have also pointed to a sales surge in recent months.

    “I myself have been assaulted and know several others who have been,” Julian Chan, a Chinese American entertainment attorney living in Beverly Hills, California conjectured. “It’s hard to quantify exactly how many of us have bought for the first time, but I would say it is substantial. People that would normally be afraid of guns are now somewhat afraid not to have a gun.”

    Then there is the faction of female purchasers, who many retailers claim are buying firearms in far higher percentages than average.

    Jessica Keffer – marketing manager for The Sportsman’s Shop in East Earl, Pennsylvania – said women now make up half the clientele, and many have expressed that “purchasing a firearm was not something they previously considered.”

    “They are buying out of fear. They are buying for home defense and self-protection,” she noted. “They no longer have the confidence they once did and feel they have to take matters into their own hands.”

    Why would they be losing faith in Big Nanny? It’s inexplicable.

    We had better get some Public Health Experts to tell them they’re crazy.

    • Sean

      See also body armor sales.

      • Ted S.

        John has a sad.

    • leon

      Hence the double down on gun control. Hard to make the “government will protect you” argument, when the same people will actively ensure you aren’t protected from their political gangs.

      • Tejicano

        “Hard to make the “government will protect you” argument, ”

        Even harder to make that argument when there are daily stories in the news showing how that protection is being actively withheld in some places.

    • Gustave Lytton

      one of the youngest certified firearms dealer and instructors at only 26

      Just a newborn babe, still on his parents’ insurance.

  8. The Late P Brooks

    Indeed, many have said the new gun-owning roster of 2020 includes those who previously would never have considered it.

    “When citizens see images of social breakdown and violence on television or out their windows, it changes them,” added Tom Kubiniec, CEO of gun safety and storage company, SecureIt Tactical. “Those who have supported strict gun control or confiscation have argued that only the government can provide safety and security. That argument appears to have collapsed.”

    You don’t say.

  9. Tundra

    Good morning, Old Man!

    And good morning to the rest of my Glib friends!

    Jo just gets more and more pathetic. Not as pathetic as that article, though.

    Libertarianism can be described as a political viewpoint that the state should not interfere greatly in the lives of individuals. Gary Johnson served as the party’s presidential nominee in the 2016 elections. Johnson garnered over 4 million votes, placing him a distant third behind Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton and the winner of the election, Donald Trump.

    “Not interfere greatly”? How about ‘not exist’ instead?

    So, something like .0018175 percent of Americans gave up their citizenship? Who fucking cares?!?

    “There has been a silver lining for U.S. expats that they have been able to claim the stimulus check of $1,200, and $500 for each child. For those individuals and families, the proposed second stimulus check will be very welcome once the HEALS Act is approved.

    Oh thank goodness for that.

    Christ almighty, this world is too stupid to keep spinning.

    But then there is Rick Danko and the boys. Fuck me was that terrific!

    So is this. Still gives me chills.

    Have a fantastic day, people!

    • Gender Traitor

      So is this. Still gives me chills.

      Sing it, Mother Mavis.

      Now if I can just talk Tom T into venturing up to Honey Harvest. (For years, we hosted a Labor Day weekend-long jam at his family’s place in the Mozarks.) How much ammo was there to be given away…?

    • leon

      Well seeing as for expats, citizenship is much more akin to blood slavery, I understand why.

  10. Roland of Gilead

    Frank Howard one of only 4 batters to hit a ball on the Tiger Stadium left field roof in a game.
    Harmon Killibrew
    Frank Howard
    Cecil Fielder
    Mark McGwire
    https://youtu.be/4Cum4NKXnho
    Here’s Cecil’s

  11. Rhywun

    Today in eating their own:

    The chairwoman of the Brooklyn Democratic Party wants to change party rules to allow Democrats who identify as non-binary to serve in the county committee’s elected leadership positions.

    Party leader and Assemblywoman Rodneyse Bichotte noted that under current party rules, elected committee posts must [be] equally split between men and women.

    They’re going to identity-politics the shit out of this quandary! More pigeonholes and quotas ought to do the trick.

    • Cy

      Proof that the world is full of stupid people who are out to get you.

    • Ted S.

      I’d say “non-binary” means half a man and half a woman, but then they’d need two to make the quota come out right.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Heard that last night and loved it. Was it other journalists clapping and cheering?

      ‘Following guidelines’. What a useful idiot propagandist. Who was that?

    • Rebel Scum

      Nice.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    What could explain an increase in homicides? Some experts have cited the protests over the police killings of George Floyd and others — which could’ve had a range of effects, from officers pulling back from their duties to greater community distrust in police, leading to more unchecked violence. Others point to the bad economy. Another potential factor is a huge increase in gun purchases this year. Still others posit boredom and social displacement as a result of physical distancing leading people to cause more trouble.

    Above all, though, experts caution it’s simply been a very unusual year with the coronavirus pandemic. That makes it difficult to say what, exactly, is happening with crime rates. “The current year, 2020, is an extreme deviation from baseline — extreme,” Tracey Meares, founding director at the Justice Collaboratory at Yale Law School, told me.

    ——-

    Maybe after this very weird year ends, crime and violence trends will, similarly, go back to the previous normal.

    But that’s not a guarantee — and it’s not something, experts said, that we should rely on. “We don’t really understand why crime and violence went down,” John Roman, a criminal justice expert at NORC at the University of Chicago, told me. “Being able to say we should expect this unexplained phenomenon to continue strikes me as sort of irrational.”

    Even if we can’t explain what may be causing a homicide spike in some cities, there are certain strategies that might help fight crime in the short term — such as deploying police in crime hot spots (though that would have to be done carefully and with reforms, given the current political climate around policing), a “focused deterrence” program that targets the few people in a community engaging in violence with a mix of support and sanctions, and using civilian “interrupters” to personally intervene in cases in which violence seems likely to break out.

    Don’t forget more gun control. That’s always the answer.

    • Sean

      “Gun control”

      *ponders another AR*

      • EvilSheldon

        If you’ve got three good ones, you’re set. Maybe a training class?

        Oh hell, that reminds me…

      • Sean

        I really want a carry handled pistol upper on a lower with a SBA3.

        I’m past set.

        A class? With other people? I’ll catch the ‘vid!

      • Rebel Scum

        I have this lower that needs the rest of its components. . .

    • Viking1865

      Another potential factor is a huge increase in gun purchases this year

      Wet streets cause rain, says Expert Science Doctor of Expertise.

      • leon

        The cause is the weather vane pointing North, the effect is wind coming in from the south

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Absolutely, just like eating more ice cream causes violence.

    • Rhywun

      It couldn’t have anything to do with violent leftists taking advantage of the vacuum left by the retreat from society in order to seize power.

      • straffinrun

        I’m sure there are a lot of regular old criminals mixed in there. No cops, sweet. Guess I’ll murder that guy I hate.

      • Rhywun

        Oh, absolutely. But antifa is leading the way.

      • straffinrun

        Yep. I’ll admit that I’ve changed my mind on Trump’s chances due to what’s happened over the past few weeks. I’m thinking he rolls on election day. No semi sane person is going to want to reward that stuff with a vote for team blue.

      • Rhywun

        The polls are behaving the same way they did in 2016. Biden’s imaginary lead is evaporating, if slowly.

      • creech

        Trump needs to campaign like he is 10 points behind, right up until election day. No slacking off like in 2018.

      • Viking1865

        2018 was due to the fact that there are Trump voters who don’t have any interest in voting for Chamber of Commerce Republicans anymore. Which is, baseline, due to the fact that Trump is one man, and he’s not a man who has interest or ability to actually take over a political party by installing people who share his ideology in the party ranks.

        He won the primary because he ignored the gatekeepers of the party and just got the voters to vote for him. Remember, every single Republican party hack, every GOP columnist and pundit, tried to stop Trump. They didn’t just disappear when he won the election.

        The next Republican who tries to run on milquetoast “We are the Democrats from 25 years ago!!!!” as their guiding principle will lose. As intended. Gotta provide a choice, not an echo.

      • creech

        I doubt the Chamber Republicans would have voted for the impeachment nonsense that so derailed the agenda.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Oops- Forgot muh link

    Those guys and gals at Vox know everything.

    • UnCivilServant

      Except geography… and economics… and math… and history… and more stuff than I can enumerate.

      In fact, I don’t think they know anything.

  14. Rufus the Monocled

    Not sure I can take much more of this insidious behaviour from public officials micromanaging this virus anymore. They’re a bunch of vindictive, clueless, incompetent morons who have misstepped from the onset. The mere fact these buffoons couldn’t figure out the second that person in a LTF in Seattle died and learn from Europe by isolating the elderly while shutting down the children in schools who were least at risk thus preventing or delaying a change for herd immunity should be enough for us to ignore them.

    But let’s keep gyms indefinitely shut down while 90% of the economy is back up and running. Not to mention the endless protests and rioting. It’s truly a crime against humanity these lockdowns in my view. Pure malice and calculated to protect the sorry asses of all these jerk offs.

    No ostensibly free and literate society tolerates this. Yet here we are. Foolish and ignorant mindless people masking up.

  15. Gender Traitor

    Just saw a fox trot across the back of my yard. Please note: I do not live in the country. Our house is just a couple doors down from a main drag in a township bordering the Dayton city limits. Pretty cool.

    Are foxes dangerous to outdoor cats? Our Official Cat never goes out, but I’ve seen our Unofficial Cat (the one we’re feeding every evening and allowing to commiserate with Official Cat through the screen door) out and about in the same area this morning. Should I be worried for her*?

    *Gender not actually determined, but she/it sure seems to be quite taken with Official Cat.

    • Ted S.

      Did you see a waltz or a mazurka too?

      • Gender Traitor

        ::WILD APPLAUSE::

      • IntraveneousWoodChipper

        Re: the fox question.

        Not to be alarmist but foxes can definitely eat cats. Maybe invite sometimes-cat to the garage for a few nights?

      • Gender Traitor

        Might be worth a try, but as bold as she is about approaching our cat at the screen door, she’s skittish about us. Don’t know if we could manage to corral her.

  16. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Re Ted Wheeler: If they just leftist harder things will all work out. Trump winning and the left coast seceding would truly be the best outcome of this election. The country is just too different to have one federal government.

    • Cy

      Stop ceding ground to the commies. We just need to make a few of them good commies and the rest will probably shut up and go get a job.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        That’s all well and good until they do manage an to win a national election and they proceed to jam all of that shit down the rest of the country’s throat.

      • Cy

        Apparently you don’t know what a good commie is.

      • Cy

        Apparently you don’t know what a good commie is.

      • Ted S.

        It’s a server squirrel, amirite?

      • leon

        I really don’t care to dominate them, I just want them not in my country with power over me.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        ^This, let them go their way (and they’ll quickly end up in the ditch) and we can go ours and if one of them ends up in office I’d like my geographic area to consider the same thing. The US as a voluntarily unified entity is done.

    • Rhywun

      If by “best outcome” you mean piles of corpses and the destruction of the United States economy for a generation or two.

    • Viking1865

      If CA, OR, and WA seceded it would be absolutely amazing. Especially if you had the more rural counties of those states trying to stay.

      Broadly speaking, I think the US would be better as several smaller nations.

      The Left Coast, the Mountain West/Great Plains, the Great Lakes/Midwest, The Northern Atlantic, the South, and the Texas/SW.

      • Gender Traitor

        If CA, OR, and WA seceded it would be absolutely amazing.

        One problem with that – we’d probably miss those handy west coast seaports. Other than that, though…

      • UnCivilServant

        Second problem with that – Vast swathes of the people under the boot in those states are still pro-american and do not support the insanity.

        I also think that splitting the country would just lead to more war and violence.

      • Gender Traitor

        See also: partition of the Indian subcontinent.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Third problem, a bunch of people still in America would be sympathetic and fifth columnists while the commie states work to “reunite” the country.

      • mrfamous

        Wonder how much Mexico would ask for Puerto Penasco.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        and they would miss our water and power supplies…..

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I’d love to see that, maybe with an old fashioned EEC type trade structure between all of the new nations. It doesn’t necessarily need to end up in a war if done correctly.

      • UnCivilServant

        Look at what the EEC became.

        Even if it’s not war, it’s still worse than what is currently in place.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Are foxes dangerous to outdoor cats?

    Yes.

    • Gender Traitor

      Ruh roh.

    • leon

      Huh. I don’t know these things, but would have said no.

      I have heard Coyotes eating a cat and it’s not a happy thing.

      • Gender Traitor

        As bad as a rabbit under attack? I once heard a recording that purported to be of a rabbit being vivisected (made secretly by an animal rights activist, of course.) Bloodcurdling.

      • UnCivilServant

        I wouldn’t put it past an activist to be deliberately misleading.

      • leon

        I have also had a rabbit pulled through its cage by a cat. That is a blood curdling scream.

      • Urthona

        My bastard cat likes to go outdoors and has figured out a way to let himself back in by climbing up an air conditioner vent and then pushing open the walk-in attic door.

        One night at 3am I just heard these horrible bloodcurdling screams. (My wife, of course, never woke up).

        Found my cat with a rabbit in his mouth. It was letting out these piteous screams. I never knew rabbits could scream like that.

        Anyway, he just drops it and strolls away. I spend the next 20 minutes catching the rabbit and letting it outside.

      • Gender Traitor

        I’m amazed the rabbit hadn’t gone catatonic, or “tharn” in Watership Down Lapine.

  18. Crusty Juggler

    Shut the door baby

    Don’t say a word

  19. The Late P Brooks

    Apropos of nothing-

    There are electronic signs on interstate 90. Before now, unless there was some specific announcement on them, they had a running tally of highway deaths and a generic safety message. Now they have some bullshit “Beat the Plague” slogan.

    I wonder if that’s because highway deaths are probably about fifty times higher than plague deaths. You wouldn’t want to confuse the rubes.

    • Crusty Juggler

      We are tough.

  20. Rufus the Monocled

    Been watching JP for years. For the most part, his videos do have a libertarian mean steak in them but I though he missed when it came to how he interpreted race in America and Christianity (that video was a run of the mill shallow take on religion). That’s ok. Overall he’s awesome in my view.

    • straffinrun

      How prescient was he when he said, “Fuck you, clean your damn room first.”?

      • Rufus the Monocled

        He watches Jordan Peterson.

    • Ted S.

      I like a mean steak, too.

      Especially when it’s on Harvest Gold.

      • Sean

        Porterhouses are on sale today. Hopefully they’re cut right.

  21. Rufus the Monocled

    Jorgensen is turning out to be a useful idiot. Read she supports BLM. Next.

    Sorry my American friends. Treating November like you have a 3rd party choice this time around is misguided in my view.

    Vote Trump. He’s the only sane and viable option. My God, the way he treats the press like shit is worth the price of admission alone.

    • straffinrun

      Listen closely. Think she says Bat lives Matter.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        /hands Staff a Snoopy Snow Cone. Gently kicks him in the ass nudging him along.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      They’re courting the leftists who’ll never consider voting for them, unfortunately.
      “Hey, we’re good people, now here’s our pitch on why we shouldn’t have a minimum wage.”

      • Rufus the Monocled

        I’m not buying this line JP and others use where they say, ‘It’s a shame BLM protestors were hijacked by bad people’.

        My take is if your organization espouses bad ideas it will attract bad people. Simple as that.

        BLM’s own about page and its founders make it explicitly clear they’re trained Marxists. Hello.

      • Rhywun

        The whole thing is an elaborate con game that only succeeds because half the population is cowering behind the sofa. If we’re lucky ?? it will fizzle out again when sanity returns – like it fizzled out a few years ago.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        BLM the sentiment we all agree with was hijacked by BLM the marxist organization. If that’s what they’re getting at they need to be more careful with their language. I think they’re deliberately throwing out confusing language to try to attract the votes of those they’ll never attract while providing themselves plausible deniability with libertarian Libertarians.

      • creech

        The vast majority of people saying “Black Lives Matter” have no idea about the views of the official organization. Same in 1960s – most protesting college kids didn’t want to go fight in Vietnam: doesn’t mean they were commies or even cared about SDS. The main reason the LP hasn’t succeeded (other than that the American voters don’t really give a crap about freedom and small government) is that many libertarians continue to nit pick every word that every candidate says. “If I don’t agree with so and so 100% then I’m going to continue voting for the lesser of two evils.” How’s that working? Is the “lesser of two evils” getting more or less evil over the last 40 years?

      • Brochettaward

        Your argument is that the LP getting a percentage point or two more votes would be some kind of success? The entire point of third party candidates is to spread the message. They aren’t going to be elected. So, yes, I’m going to subject my third party candidate who is a protest vote to a purity test.

      • Tundra

        Absolutely agree.

        Quit fucking trying to appeal to people who will never, ever come over to your side by qualifying and obfuscating your core messages. Put your ideas out there in all their glory and be an actual, unapologetic voice for liberty.

        It’s not that goddamn hard.

      • Nephilium

        And maybe try to take over some school boards, local city boards, mayors, etc (even if you have to run under another party to start with).

      • creech

        I’m not worried about the “never evers.” It’s those who are like we used to be (remember?) who were susceptible to libertarian ideas if presented fairly, rationally, and not demanding instant utopia.

  22. Crusty Juggler

    Must-See Home in Upstate NY: Former Catskills hotel for $89,000 with 40 rooms

    Benjamin McKillip built and owned The Mountain View House. After he died in 1914, he passed it on to his son Charles McKillip. According to an old brochure, the property advertised 200 feet of wide verandas, accommodations for 100 guests, and music daily. Cost was $10 per week and no Hebrews, Cubans, and those with pulmonary troubles were allowed.

    !!!!!!!!!!!! CANCEL THEM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Rhywun

      Hebrews in the Catskills?! That’s crazy-talk.

    • Gender Traitor

      Clicked on link. Now i have ten tabs open and I’m stuck in a loop. HE-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-ELP!!!

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Unless something’s going on with my device the link is messed up.

  23. Rufus the Monocled

    My God Portland. Oh well. If that’s what they want.

    Same with NY. If they don’t learn this time around how bad Democrats are and keep voting morons like Andrew and Bill that’s their prerogative.

    Damn. We had planned to catch a jazz concert at Lincoln Center this October. Poof.

  24. Rhywun

    “As the scientific community works to identify and address systemic discrimination and inequality in all aspects of the field, it has become clear that certain cosmic nicknames are not only insensitive but can be actively harmful,” the agency said in a news release.

    “NASA is examining its use of unofficial terminology for cosmic objects as part of its commitment to diversity, equity, and inclusion.”

    OFFS!

    Refreshingly, the NY Post stringer seems unconvinced.

    • Plinker762

      Are they going to change the name of Uranus to Back Hole?

      • But Enough About My Prostate

        Shouldn’t it be “yer back hole”?

    • Rufus the Monocled

      So brave. So sciencey.

    • Grumbletarian

      So scientists will ponder the theory of matter of color going forward?

  25. The Late P Brooks

    Now, you got your porch negro, and the field bucks, but other than that…

    Amid the fallout from comments by former vice president and presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden about a lack of diversity of thought and heritage within the African American community, some worry that a pattern of blunders could impact support within the Black community.

    Biden drew criticism on Thursday when he compared the diversity of African American and Latino communities at a pretaped virtual talk with the National Association of Black Journalists and the National Association of Hispanic Journalists.

    “What you all know, but most people don’t know. Unlike the African American community, with notable exceptions, the Latino community is incredibly diverse community with incredibly different attitudes about different things,” Biden said. “You go to Florida you find a very different attitude about immigration in certain places than you do when you’re in Arizona. So it’s a very different, a very diverse community.”

    Just hours after the taped remarks, during a live discussion with the National Association of Latino Elected and Appointed Officials, Biden reiterated similar comments: “We can build a new administration that reflects the full diversity of our nation, the full diversity of Latino communities. And when I mean full diversity, unlike the African American community and many other communities, you’re from everywhere. From Europe, from the tip of South America, all the way to our border and Mexico, and in the Caribbean.”

    Don’t forget to vote, you black folks.

    • Roland of Gilead

      He’s not racist. He just makes some blunders.

      • Grumbletarian

        Rep. Steven Horsford, D-Nev., whose mother is from Trinidad and Tobago, endorsed Biden’s presidential bid in February. He believes Biden’s comments were misconstrued.

        “Vice President Biden’s comments were taken out of context, he was in no way suggesting that all African Americans are the same — not by our identities or the issues we care the most about,” Horsford said a written statement to ABC News.

        Ah the old ‘that complete and unedited quote was taken out of context’ defense. Sure, Biden said basically the same thing twice during two different interviews, but that’s totally not what he meant at all, you deploranazi racists!

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        See, we know the Democrat isn’t racist so the comment is just a mistake. However, if a Republican were to say this that just proves he/she’s a racist which we knew all along.

      • Plinker762

        What Slow Joe was really thinking is “we have those blacks reliably voting for Democrats but those pesky Cubans keep voting for Republicans”

    • leon

      It’s a taped remark? Who the fuck is ruining this shit? Why on Earth would they run that?

      I am beginning to change my opinion of Biden’s handlers. They don’t want to win power, they don’t believe he will. They are just there for the grift and to make Bank off of doners.

      • Sean

        The plan is to cheat like never before. It’s gonna be an absolute shitshow.

  26. straffinrun

    Suppose I could go back and find it, but back in March I mentioned that regardless of how severe the virus is, the danger the government poses to our civil liberties is at least as important. It’s amazing that after all the sciency analysis is done, the one thing that has been proven irrefutably is true is that the government is filled with psychos you shouldn’t ever trust. Not really an “I told you so” given most of you agree. How the average person isn’t saying, “Well, damn, you were right” is the real mystery.

  27. The Late P Brooks

    Some argue that these comments could have an impact on turnout for voters who aren’t enthusiastic about Biden’s candidacy.

    “It’s an erasure of Black immigrants, it’s a conflation of the Black experience, it’s ignorant,” said Nadia Brown, a professor of political science at Purdue University and author of “Sisters in the Statehouse: Black Women and Legislative Decision Making.” “Biden is not doing himself any favors and the people that are captive Democratic voters, who have no other option but to vote for the Democrat or stay home, aren’t enthusiastic about him.”

    Way to prove your point, Shirley.

    • Viking1865

      Eh, the future may be different, but the past and present of the black vote in America is loyal single party voters. Black people voted, as a group, for Republicans until the Depression, then switched to FDR and have been there ever since. It cuts across economic, regional, even ideological lines. The Trump people have been pointing to a supposed trend among black voters under 30 to go the other way, but it has yet to manifest itself.

      • Rhywun

        Identity politics in action. The Dems push it because it works.

    • straffinrun

      Here’s to all the gorgeous snatch in F L A.

    • Plinker762

      “Cheap old house” Lol

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yeah, cheap if you don’t mind living in a dump or being a slumlord. It’s like buying an old Audi at a low price…it’s going to cost you.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        What are we looking at here? 50K at the minimum for a reno job?

      • Naptown Bill

        Didn’t Tom Hanks star in a documentary in the 80’s about this type of thing?

    • Sean

      You get what you pay for.

    • Mojeaux

      Triggered.

    • Rhywun

      the growing realities of a remote workforce that are becoming ubiquitous as the pandemic persists

      Oh fuck off with that “new normal” shit.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Pandemic persists.

        It’s pretty much dead but whatever. Keep persisting.

      • Rhywun

        I foresee a bunch of these properties dumped like abandoned puppies when these types wake up to reality.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    I can’t find it, this morning, but yesterday i read an “analysis” of Sweden’s response to the plague. You’ll never guess what the verdict was.

    The entire thing was nothing but a steaming pile of “To be sure” and “Yeah, but” and “misguided attempt to get to herd immunity”. Also- masks work. It doesn’t matter what anybody says, they work. Anybody who doesn’t wear one is committing either murder or suicide. I’m not sure which.

    If the author had any sort of credentials or demonstrable expertise, it was not shown. Don’t bother to consider any alternatives. There are none.

    • Plinker762

      “Science” without testable theories and rigorous experiments. Just computer modeling.

      • mrfamous

        As someone whose job is do this sort of modeling (in a different field), it pisses me off double: obviously I’m pissed about the virus nonsense, but it also pisses me off that my profession is taking a credibility hit by people who are bad/irresponsible at it. Every major assumption that the modelers made needed instead to be modeled probabilistically.

        IE, different modeling scenarios based on a range of effectiveness of masks, lockdowns, seasonality, etc. Different potential IFRs for the disease. And of course there should have been models looking into the costs of the mitigation efforts. Instead we got “how bad can we make this look” modeling from a guy so worried about the virus, he had his married girlfriend over at his house so he could shag her while he was infected with it.

      • Plinker762

        I come at it from an engineering side. My models may be just spreadsheets to calculate the strengths of certain beams or the loads on tramway towers but I always use some sort of test to verify the results.

        I can imagine how it would piss of someone with professional modeling experience.

      • BakedPenguin

        But they have their best minds on it! They got a bunch of people who’ve been sciencing the shit out of Climate Change to do their modeling.

        (note – I have no idea who did the modeling for COVID, but they do seem to be using similar methodological assumptions)

      • R C Dean

        And fancy graphics! Can’t do science without fancy graphics.

      • mrfamous

        Unrelated to COVID, but this too pisses me off. My world has been inundated with “cool looking” but essentially pointless visualizations. Visualizations are actually quite useful at certain times to get a feel for the shape of noisy data. But we’ve seemed to reach a point where it doesn’t count as research if there’s not shiny colorful graphs and charts. Are we eventually gonna dispense with language altogether and just go back to painting on cave walls?

    • Naptown Bill

      There was an interesting article in the Spectator (IIRC) recently talking about the fact that we really have no good data on the effectiveness of masks with any of this stuff, even pre-‘rona, because there’s been no real testing. Nobody has ever taken a group of healthy people, asked half of them to wear masks, and then exposed them to a coronavirus to get actual data. And now the issue is so politicized the odds of such a study ever being undertaken at all, never mind without bias, is slim to none. I found it funny that even the guy writing the article took the position that wearing a mask was probably a good idea because it just seems like it would work, absence of evidence be damned.

      • Plinker762

        I’m cautious about any study done after 2019 that is any way related to the CCPV

  29. Stinky Wizzleteats

    “Covid-19 Censorship has Killed People” a good vid from Sargon (about 20 min):

    https://youtu.be/Hj0LKciyhjU

    I wonder how long it’ll take before the video’s yeeted.

    • straffinrun

      You ask people, “What are the downsides of censorship?” Some of the answers you get almost make you want to endorse censorship.

      • Rhywun

        But censorship only applies to icky Nazis and Republicans!!1!

    • JD is in the United Karendom

      I’ve never actually watched/listened to a Sargon vjo before. Generally I’ve been strongly conditioned to avoid populists right on the front lines of tEh CuLtUrE wArZ, but I supposed it’s interesting, and he actually seems reasonable, as opposed to the evil psycho provocateur/racist/etc that he’s portrayed as.

      • Viking1865

        I’ve never watched him, but I’m pretty sure he is a leftist. Like, hes a social democrat who thinks that free speech and free thought are important, but he doesn’t want to cut spending or taxes.

      • JD is in the United Karendom

        As British people go, it’s very very hard to find anyone who isn’t totally married to the notion that there must be large-scale government control and monopolisation of something. Everything is relative. I suppose most would see me as some sort of crazy anarchist, so I’m used to the more classically liberal yet economically unhinged, collectivist folks.

  30. Festus' Mustache

    Got lost in OMWC’s wiki-wormhole. Kitteh’s fate is still undetermined. $400 lighter and waiting for results. Sigh… He seems happy enough for now. I sleep.

    • Rhywun

      Best of luck to kitteh.

    • Gender Traitor

      Give kitteh lots of pets.

      • UnCivilServant

        But when I give a cat a pet, they tend to eat it.

      • Gender Traitor

        Put them all in hamster balls. Hilarity should ensue, at least until the little critters start throwing up from the motion sickness.

      • Gender Traitor

        Put them all in hamster balls.

        Well, except for the cat. Although…

        ::checks Petco website for largest available hamster ball::

    • JD is in the United Karendom

      All the best for kitty. Pull through, little guy.

    • TARDIS

      Best of luck to the kitteh. The most I’ve ever spent on a cat visit was $900. This was for a cat that once ran across my face when my daughter spooked him. I can still see the two puncture scars in my bottom lip. His name was Mojo.

      • Rhywun

        My Maggie set me back $1700 on a surgery that failed to find anything wrong with her but after force-feeding her a half dozen different drugs (with considerable damage to the skin on my arms) she bounced back from whatever was wrong and I got another twelve years out of her 🙂

      • Gender Traitor

        I once spent a ridiculous amount of money to get a rabbit x-rayed (or some such imaging) at the across-town emergency vet clinic just to find out it had a hairball. Rabbits can’t cough up hairballs (or anything else, AFAIK.) The cure: pineapple juice to dissolve it. Seemed to do the trick.

      • Gender Traitor

        (For the record, the rabbit’s name was Warren.)

      • TARDIS

        Warren.

        Nice.

      • TARDIS

        Cats are tough, even if they are a bit defective. The money we spent didn’t help. We thought he would be okay, but he started peeing blood again. The vet wanted to transgender him, and at the time we just couldn’t afford it.

  31. Rhywun

    Found a piece of mail tortured to fit in my mailbox. Marked “Do Not Fold”. From the USPS.

    Your USPS, folks.

    • JD is in the United Karendom

      How’s the spaghetti works? Are you doin’ alright?

      • straffinrun

        I always break my psghetti in half. Pot isn’t big enough. Is there a difference?

      • JD is in the United Karendom

        Yeah that’s about right. What’s with BIG SPAGHETTI in league with BIG POTS & PANS fiendishly conspiring to make us buy ever bigger pots and pans what for cooking the spaghetti without breaking it into shorter lengths? Break the spaghetti! Break the simulation! Think outside the pot.

      • Nephilium

        *psst*

        Cook it in a skillet.

      • straffinrun

        This doesn’t answer the question of why psghetti has to be that one length.

      • Gender Traitor

        ::fries spaghetti. Disappointed with results::

      • Nephilium

        I wasn’t talking about frying it. Alton Brown tipped me off to it.

      • Gender Traitor

        But…but…skillet! Maybe if I used olive oil instead of canola. Damn Canadians and their “problematic” rapeseed!

      • Rhywun

        My one and only disastrous attempt at spaghetti carbonara taught me that I’m not ready for this sort of attentive cooking yet. “Check every 30 seconds” – yeah, OK.

      • Rhywun

        At least from my carbonara episode I learned to cook spaghetti in a pan wide enough for the noodles to lay flat. It seems so obvious in retrospect.

      • But Enough About My Prostate

        Rhy: I found a technique (used by line cooks in osterias in Rome, no less!) that actually results in damn-near-foolproof carbonara; the downside is that it uses extra bowls for the egg/cheese mixture (i.e., it’s not a “one pot/skillet” meal). Even better if you’ve also got a microwave, so’s you can blast the cooked ‘sketti with some extra heat to ensure setup of the sauce.

        Lemme know if’n you’re interested.

      • Rhywun

        Everything seems in order. Still weak.

        Let’s wish C. Anacreon luck too – evidently he underwent something similar yesterday.

    • creech

      Was the package filled with pre-marked “Biden for President” ballots?

      • Rhywun

        Nope. Bugs Bunny stamps. I tried hitting the post office twice during my daily chores and said “no fucking way”. Long lines of mouth-breathers and one mouth-breather behind a pane of glass.

        $1.30 to just mail me some damn stamps? Take my money!

      • The Hyperbole

        I used to be able to get stamps from the ATM machine, but for some reason they stopped offering them. It’s a goddamn national disgrace, make America great again my ass.

      • Rhywun

        Never seen that before. My closest post office is a hole-in-the-wall “annex” that doesn’t have any machines either. The real post office is on the other size of my zip code. They almost closed this one a few years ago but all the seniors that seem to make up the vast majority of customers went apeshit.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    Your USPS, folks.

    “Heroes work here.”

    • straffinrun

      Yeah, the guy that goes postal.

      • Tejicano

        Hey? What good is a hero if he isn’t a good shot?

    • Rhywun

      Commies are fucking scum always and everywhere. I couldn’t watch the whole thing. “PUT YOUR MASK ON, BITCH!”

      Go fuck yourself.

      • Tundra

        It’s wrong, but I want each and every one of those scumbags to experience the joys of lingering bone cancer.

  33. The Late P Brooks

    There was an interesting article in the Spectator (IIRC) recently talking about the fact that we really have no good data on the effectiveness of masks with any of this stuff, even pre-‘rona, because there’s been no real testing. Nobody has ever taken a group of healthy people, asked half of them to wear masks, and then exposed them to a coronavirus to get actual data. And now the issue is so politicized the odds of such a study ever being undertaken at all, never mind without bias, is slim to none. I found it funny that even the guy writing the article took the position that wearing a mask was probably a good idea because it just seems like it would work, absence of evidence be damned.

    And, of course, the model contains a level of contagiousness which is plainly overstated. The stupid “mask study” I saw linked was like a bad high school science fair project. Oh, no, droplets! There was no evidence of any consideration of what level of contagious microbes might be found in those droplets, nor was there any evidence of any sort of parts-per-million level of exposure sufficient to trigger contagion. They just treat it as being the most contagious thing ever, and one molecule is enough to kill you.

  34. westernsloper

    However, no documented measurement of Holmes’ actual penis’ length, girth, tumescence, sexual stamina, or ejaculate volume has ever been confirmed.

    How have these stats not been documented?

    *looks up the word “tumescence”

  35. Nephilium

    And now for something completely different.

    • Plinker762

      The larch?

    • BakedPenguin

      That would’ve been good if they used something other than a melodica.

      • westernsloper

        The older I get I can’t hear that song without thinking about jalapenos.

      • Nephilium

        No… that’s Blast Off. Or step on up to Carolina Reapers.

      • BakedPenguin

        I’m stealing that line.

    • westernsloper

      You are not wrong.

  36. Q Continuum

    “I can’t even say this without getting censored by the book-burning Millennials in Silicon Valley.”

    /gets censored by the book-burning Millennials in Silicon Valley

    • SandMan

      4 looks like fun.

      8 is poster child for being too fit, something about the thighs……

      • mrfamous

        It’s kinda the opposite of guys who skip leg day. Girls often do squats to exclusion of all else in attempt to work their butt, but instead they develop the quads of doom which can look kinda weird if they’re very thin.

        But it’s not like she looks bad regardless.

  37. JD is in the United Karendom

    THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS.

    The 2+2=5 absurdity reminded me of this episode.

    • TARDIS

      If the 2+2=5 shit isn’t just weak-ass trolling, those people need to be institutionalized. Seriously.

      • Rhywun

        Too late. That shit is taking over higher education already.

  38. Rebel Scum

    Florida Brandenburg man..

    A German nudist had the last laugh after giving chase to a wild boar that had run off with a bag containing his laptop. …

    “When he came back with his yellow bag in the hand we all clapped and congratulated him for his success,” she added.

    Landauer said she later showed the man the pictures she had taken and “he laughed loudly and authorized me to publish them.”

    Wild boars are common in the forests around Berlin and can occasionally be seen venturing through city parks in search of food.

  39. Rebel Scum

    Portland’s Democratic Mayor Ted Wheeler is currently in a bind as he grapples with weeks of unrest in his city involving protests over racial injustice that have at times escalated into violent riots, while also mounting a re-election campaign in a runoff against someone to the left of him on the political spectrum.

    When in doubt, double-down.

    • LJW

      What is the rate of people fleeing that shithole?

      • Gustave Lytton

        This isn’t a prosecution issue. The charges aren’t being dropped (yet), they’re being released either ROR or with minimal bail requirements.

        The same thing happens in federal courts.

      • TARDIS

        Those dudes get all the hot pussy, don’t they?

    • Tejicano

      “Of course the fire’s not going out. You didn’t pour enough gasoline on it.”

    • Rhywun

      And thanks to plague panic we won’t find out for weeks or months the results of all the interesting elections that are coming up.

  40. The Late P Brooks

    Who will end Trump’s reign of terror?

    A second lawsuit saw Oregon’s Attorney General Ellen Rosenblum sue federal authorities on behalf of the state to prevent officers from arresting and detaining people without probable cause or a warrant.

    The lawsuit also demanded that federal agents identify themselves and explicitly state the reason for an arrest or detention after video showed officers approaching a protester and forcing them into an unmarked van, as they appeared to ignore calls from at least one witness to identify themselves.

    An effort to immediately block such actions was denied with the judge determining that Rosenblum had not provided sufficient evidence to show that federal officers had demonstrated a pattern of unlawful behavior.

    Those feds are obviously just randomly snatching innocent people off the streets, never to be seen again.

    • LJW

      Quite the conundrum when two groups I dislike are battling with each other.

      • Rhywun

        Right? These people are perfectly fine with the Feds rounding up deplorables in the middle of the night, but not sainted “protesters”.

    • Tejicano

      “Those feds are obviously just randomly snatching innocent people off the streets, never to be seen again.”

      Just keep feeding my fantasies like that.

  41. Rebel Scum

    Libertarian Presidential Candidate to Miss Rally After Being Bitten by Bat

    Christian Bale is a biter?

  42. Rebel Scum

    Americans must pay a $2,350 government fee to renounce their citizenship, and those based overseas must do so in person at the U.S. Embassy in their country.

    Land of the, um, something. Home of the, I mean, you know the thing.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I’m sure there’s an Adv China video describing exactly this same sequence.

    • R C Dean

      A Communist government seized the means of production?

      Well, knock me over with a feather.

      • Negroni Please

        And yet people will keep doing this over and over again.

        Take Chinese money? Maaaaaaybe?
        Relocate to China, give them partial ownership, and hand over all your IP?

        I’m gonna go with no here

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      When dealing with any level of the Chinese government you just have to pray they don’t alter the deal.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Never deal with Commies in the first place, I said this all my life,
        They stole missle tech back in the ‘902 FFS!
        why stop there?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        or the 1990’s

    • Rhywun

      Lesson learned?

      • Nikkodemus

        Doubtful.

    • Sean

      Wow.

    • Rhywun

      And I have no doubt this story has been repeated dozens or hundreds of times.

    • Tejicano

      I would say that they never understood the bitter lesson that Motorola learned when they started production in China.

      4 weeks traveling through China in 1988 told me everything I needed to know – and to focus on Japan instead of China for my future. At that point I understood both languages at roughly the same level but tilted my concentration to Japanese because of what I saw in China.

      • Gustave Lytton

        88 would have been a good year to start off in Japan.

    • Rebel Scum
  43. egould310

    57 and drizzly in Seattle. Yes! Going for a run out to Husky Stadium. Maybe spothe bald eagles?

    • Cy

      Walking the waterfront sounds pretty nice right now.

    • westernsloper

      84 and sunny at the moment. Looking toward just under perfect. Plan on grilling some more ground beef to add to my too saucy Picadillo. Needs moar meat it does.

  44. Spudalicious

    @Sensei

    I’m looking to replace my ancient BK Reference 50 processor. After much research, the Emotiva RMC-1 is currently sitting at the top of the list. Thoughts?

    • Urthona

      Why do they call it taking a dump? you’re not really taking anything.

      • Rhywun

        You don’t take a shit, you leave a shit.

        /George Carlin

      • Tejicano

        But only if you give a shit

    • Rhywun

      “I call him Bitey!”

    • Q Continuum

      “15 days to make sure our health system keeps up” = “Indefinite lockdowns and pointless mask wearing until no one ever gets sick again”

    • Rebel Scum

      realist12345678

      Only affects mouth breathers i.e. Trumpers.

      Sick burn, d00d.

  45. Gustave Lytton

    https://twitter.com/nogumbofornazis/status/1292059843218403330?s=21

    Retweeted by the PNW Youth Commie Militia that’s one of the organizers of the riots. And read down into the comments. These people actually think their terrorist acts are in the right, they’re being oppressed by fascist police, and there are vast right wing attacks against them such as by vehicles (while they’re peacefully criminally occupying streets). It’s too fucking late to save them.

    • Tejicano

      My fantasy is where a hundred or so “peaceful demonstrators” are trying to burn down some government property and a meticulously organized “counter demonstration”/flash mob of a few hundred well armed citizens (coordinated with local law enforcement who’ve been directed by PTB to keep out – and thus aren’t on the scene) show up and the situation gets real. Dozens of wounded/bleeding/dead ANTIFA learn a hard lesson and through the internet this rioting is understood to not be as much fun as it has been so far.

      • Gustave Lytton

        That would be nice, I’d like that. but I think a lot of stars would have to align for that scenario, and larger chance of a less than ideal outcomes from that basic scenario.

  46. Raven Nation

    Just to add one more confusing piece to European football. This weekend sees the completion of Round of 16 Champions League 2019-20 matches AND the Preliminary Round matches for the 2020-21 season.

    • Rhywun

      Planning to watch Napoli at 3pm. I wonder which competition that is.

      • Ted S.

        CL. They’re up against Barça. Fortunately Bayern won their first leg match handily, because that one only seems to be available on tape delay.

  47. Gender Traitor

    Mentioned back yard fox sighting to Tom T. He may use it as a cheap, tawdry excuse (the finest kind) to acquire an “Evil Roy” so he can go after the fox with .22 short for minimum loudness.