Friday Afternoon Links of Heck!

by | Sep 11, 2020 | Daily Links | 236 comments

Briz starts the weekend early

Yesterday, the Dame; today, Puppet the Pyscho Dwarf (h/t mexican sharpshooter) When will it stop?

You might have seen this one, but after weeks of clowns on IG talking about how we need to show up for USPS, I had a good laugh.

This also is not …necessarily… a new link, but I saw it for the first time yesterday so I’m counting it. Thanks, jesse.in.mb. Skip ahead to about 1:30 for the “action” if you’re too impatient to just watch it.

This Florida Boy will never become Florida Man. Unfortunate for him, but many other Florida Children will were spared. (They all still have to live in Florida, though, so there’s that.)

Speaking of spared, “objectively unreasonable” never sounded so good.

For our musical selection as we head into the weekend, I have two covers of the same song, so you must choose: A or B ?

About The Author

Riven

Riven

[riv-uhn] noun 1. a gaming, lifting, shooting, intoxicated, ravenous, and happily-taken nerd. 2. often aims to misbehave. 3. and though she be but little, she is fierce.* And rumor has it that she (and her husband) are also delightful dinner companions. You didn't hear it from me, though.

236 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    “When will it stop?”

    Never, but at least it wasn’t blamed on covid.

  2. Count Potato

    “We wanted to make sure it wasn’t a bargaining employee,”

    Because that’s the most important thing?

    • Count Potato

      “though it will possibly be delayed”

      Possibly?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It hasn’t been a month yet.

    • Rhywun

      Yes.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      It means effectively, he can be fired.

  3. Count Potato

    “Google uses cookies and other data to deliver, maintain, and improve our services and ads. If you agree, we’ll personalize the content and ads you see based on your activity on Google services like Search, Maps, and YouTube. We also have partners that measure how our services are used. Click “See more” to review your options or visit g.co/privacytools anytime.”

    Oh, fuck off.

    • juris imprudent

      Ooooh, CP triple-taps the Bro’ – or has he dropped the shtick?

      • Count Potato

        Who knows?

  4. Shpip

    The brain-eating amoeba or scientifically known as Naegleria fowleri is a single-celled amoeba that destroys brain tissue, says the Florida Department of Health. This amoeba is mostly found in warm freshwaters like ponds, canals, rivers, and lakes.

    The amoeba can get a person infected once it enters the nose.

    Never, ever try to breathe the water in Florida.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      Taking a swim in stagnant pools of fetid water is not advised either.

      • Florida Man

        Everyone should swim in stagnant pools. How else are we going to get super mutants?

      • Lackadaisical

        The old fashioned way, with radioactive spider bites.

      • Cancelled

        FEV ftw

      • Bobarian LMD

        The even older fashion way, having sex with super mutants.

    • Grosspatzer

      And the first ad for the video gives 5 reasons to drink water??? Stick to beer. Or non-alcoholic carbonated beverages.

  5. Count Potato

    “This infection, although rare, is fatal that does not always respond to any medication.”

    Florida Copy Editor Dies After Contracting Brain-Eating Amoeba From Lake

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      Either that or Joe Biden is moonlighting as a copy editor.

      • LJW

        Could be both, Joe Biden would be susceptible to Naegleria Fowleri given his sniffing fetish.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        It all makes sense, because it makes no sense!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Not just Florida. From our local news site:

      “ A Toano man and his daughter are in jail in connection with the stabbing of two people — one being stabbed 13 times — in August, James City County Police said.

      Police are asking the public for help in identifying a third suspect.

      Timothy Kelly, 52 and her 21-year-old daughter, Katherine Kelly, are each jailed on charges of robbery, felonious assault, malicious wounding, malicious wounding by mob, breaking and entering and conspiracy to commit a felony.”

    • slumbrew

      The whole article reads like a computer wrote it.

    • Rhywun

      I was all set to be grossed out and vowing to never swim again until I got to the cheerful graphic at the bottom and LMFAO’ed. Well done, Science Times.

  6. mexican sharpshooter

    Why God, WHY!? You had a perfectly worthless Steve-O to claim. Why Wee Man!?

    • KibbledKristen

      That ain’t Wee Man!

      • mexican sharpshooter

        So like Lou Reed? We still have Wee Man?

  7. Count Potato

    “Acevedo detailed that before the 21 shots in question, police officers had shot Chavez more than once, discharged five cartridges of stun guns and deployed six bean bags.”

    Acevedo was a mystic working a healer for the Russian royal family.

    • Drake

      Some guys take a lot of killin’.

  8. Shpip

    Joe Gamaldi, the president of the Houston Police Officers’ Union, responded that the four officers were “fired today for a justified shooting,” and called the decision “unjust and deplorable.”

    This is the same slimeball who slandered the dead couple in that botched “drug house” raid a few years back. Are union mouthpieces all lying sacks of shit, or is this guy a special case?

    • Count Potato

      I’m going to go with the first one.

  9. Timeloose

    It’s been a long short week. My work is increasingly getting more insane and my wife is finishing her first week of teaching in person after 6 months of being remote and on summer vacation.

    I’m looking forward to ignoring politics and focus on music, food, and drink for a few days.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Remain calm

    The federal stimulus package provided direct aid to consumers, forgivable loans to small businesses and tens of billions of dollars to besieged airlines.
    The Federal Reserve slashed interest rates to zero and pumped trillions of dollars into the financial system to unlock frozen credit markets. The Fed even started buying corporate debt, including junk bonds, for the first time ever.
    The avalanche of aid flung credit markets back open — wide open. Companies like Carnival (CCL) that were struggling to raise money were suddenly able to borrow on reasonable terms.
    US companies sold more than $40 billion of junk bonds in August alone — more than quadruple the amount from the same period of 2019, according to Fitch Ratings. Junk bond volume is already nearing the record-shattering $281 billion raised in 2012, Fitch said.

    We have our best people on it. Don’t worry about a thing.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Keep on printing, what could possibly go wrong?

  11. TARDIS

    I like both covers, but I would still prefer the original singer.

    • Riven

      ?

      • TARDIS

        Yes, I think this is her.

      • Riven

        She basically does the entire soundtrack for one of my favorite games, it seems.

        And then they went and made that game better (Royal), except that they did not include this song as often as they did in the original.

      • TARDis

        Game soundtracks are the only music my son listens to. He’s an odd, but likeable kid.

  12. Suthenboy

    Your DOG distracts you? Imagine 6 of those, all rescues with emotional dependency issues. That is distraction.

    That reminds me…my little scruffy Bridget needs a haircut and a pedicure. Where is Mrs. OwnBestEnemy when you need her?

    • slumbrew

      New Dog is still far too nervous.

      https://imgur.com/a/xnm3SdH

      It didn’t help that she spooked and dragged a 25 lb. metal chair down the street last weekend – sparks flying, me running after her, cursing. Thank god she wrapped it around a tree, otherwise she’d still be going (more realistically – hit by a car).

      • R C Dean

        Looks pretty chill to me.

      • slumbrew

        she’s not usually amped up, just gets on edge far too easily.

        I’m guessing her time in Arkansas was a bit less stimulating.

        It’s only been 4 weeks, she’ll get there.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Aw. ❤️?

      • Cannoli

        She’s adorable!

      • slumbrew

        Thanks. “Catahoula / terrier” per the paperwork from Arkansas – part of a litter, so I’m assuming the owner was at least half right with that mix.

        I’m also assuming ‘terrier’ means pit bull terrier, so apparently we got a pitahoula.

      • Rhywun

        My mom and step-father got five basset hounds after I went away to college. I have no idea how they managed it. One or more of them got all over me every time I visited but I couldn’t tell them apart.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Roooooooo!

        That must have been a stinky slobbery mess. Love the hound group though.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      They’re reflexively supporting anything conservatives vocally oppose because it makes them feel intellectually superior.

      • Rhywun

        reflexively supporting anything conservatives vocally oppose

        Yeah, I’m not even taking a position on this movie – mostly because I don’t care but also because I’ve seen wildly different takes that seem plausible – but I can see that this ↑ is how it’s going to shake out.

      • Cancelled

        Yeah, I refuse to express an opinion about something I have not seen (because I try not to be a retarded monkey and only a retarded monkey gets outraged by a movie they have not even seen) and it doesn’t sound interesting enough to watch. Seriously, if you are posting outrage about this and haven’t watched it, please think about how you differ from the people who reflexively attack anything the MSM attacks. (hint, you don’t, you just picked a different master than they did)

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      It’s OK, ‘cuz it’s French.

  13. Scruffy Nerfherder

    That’s some real spin:

    “ Peter Strzok, the former FBI deputy chief of counterintelligence, noted that while the mistakes and failures found in the Justice Department inspector general’s report were “inexcusable,” he added that they were not improper.

    “I don’t think at all that it’s anything improper,” Strzok said in an interview with “CBS Sunday Morning.” “You get people who are overworked, who make mistakes — and don’t get me wrong, inexcusable mistakes.””

    • LJW

      It’s like they have a department that brain storms canned convenient excuses. I accidentally wiped my phone, it was a typo, the emails just disappeared…

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I accidentally inexcusably spent the extra time to alter those documents because I was overworked.

      • B.P.

        Our best and brightest, flinging about Dr. Phil Show-level excuses.

        Why not, I guess. It’s 24/7 experts and elected officials in the news, pumping straight-faced, “me or your lying eyes” dialogue while the general public just shrugs.

    • PBRstreetgang

      “It was inexcusable…but here’s my excuse”.

    • The Other Kevin

      I think these people should be given the same courtesy and benefit of the doubt as they gave to the people they were investigating.

    • Ted S.

      So it’s proper for the FBI to do things that are inexcusable?

      • Hyperion

        Someone has to protect Americans and save our democracy from bad orange villains.

    • Cancelled

      Rape is inexcusable but I slipped and my coincidentally erect phallus entered her (200 times) and can’t we all agree that no one should go to prison for slipping?

  14. Gustave Lytton

    Hah hah. CEO just sent out a meeting invite ten minutes prior to the start. Looks like his hand was forced by the oops email.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Oops email? Did he sext everyone in the company?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Someone sent out an email earlier and then recalled it.

        Turns out not to be as drastic as it first seemed. Rebranding effort but also includes a domain name change. Cue worst fears rumors.

      • Rhywun

        Someone sent out an email earlier and then recalled it.

        Lesson learned: that never works.

      • Cancelled

        It worked back in the early aol era, if you were fast enough.

  15. Nephilium

    As has become normal in these annoying times, I’ve set up a Virtual Happy Hour for tonight which I’ll kick off at 20:00 Eastern.

    • KibbledKristen

      Danke

    • Tulip

      Thanks, Neph. We missed you last week.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Thanks Neph. A silver lining in the whole hot mess

    • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

      Thanks Neph. I shan’t be attending at all this evening, as I’m inexplicably entertaining guests whilst my wife is out of town, touring wineries with her girlfriends, bitching about me behind my back and probably having sex with the poolboy (and as I’ve told her numerous times, “Get the SOB to wear a condom!”).

      “So ronery.”

      • Gender Traitor

        entertaining guests

        Euphemism?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Jerry Jr is that you?

    • grrizzly

      This.

    • commodious spittoon

      Yeah, there’s ability and then there’s political willingness…

    • Hyperion

      It almost surely came from that lab. I doubt they made it. But I do think that since it got out it has been used non-stop for political purposes, by the Chinese, The WHO, out own power made governors, and the democratic party to try to get rid of Trump.

      • Hyperion

        Holy cow, my spelling.

        “our own power mad governors”

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I don’t miss those things at all. They’re a nightmare to maintain.

    • kinnath

      I had one of those at my desk way back when.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Back in the 80’s a friend’s Dad had a multi-color tabletop pen plotter at his house that he used to render architectural drafts created in AutoCAD. It was huge, and really amazing to watch.

    • EvilSheldon

      Oh yeah.

      You wouldn’t happen to have some 4k video of old HP hammer-action drum printers, would you?

      • Gustave Lytton

        I didn’t know HP even manufactured drum printers. I know they had dot matrix printers before the laser and inkjet printers.

      • commodious spittoon

        That was unexpectedly funny.

      • Rhywun

        You’re not missing much. I wanted to hear the thing and instead it’s some wacky musical interlude.

  16. R C Dean

    The Dean Beasts are not allowed on the furniture. Period. Any furniture, anywhere, at any time.

    They are also not allowed in the dining room when I am eating.

    Boundaries, people. Never allow anyone, man or beast, to question who is the alpha.

    BRB. Mrs. Dean needs me to run an errand.

    • slumbrew

      Hound shows no sign of thinking she’s the alpha, even though she’s allowed on the couch, but I could be missing it.

    • commodious spittoon

      I am having a difficult time prevailing on the cat to respect boundaries. It’s willing to dish out much more pain than I am.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It’s a cat.

      • TARDIS

        It’s willing to dish out much more pain than I am.

        Much like women.

      • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

        Exactly like women.

      • Cancelled

        Cats are not pack or herd animals. They do not do the status thing the same way sheep and humans do.

      • commodious spittoon

        But something happened then. The ring was picked up by the unlikeliest of wielders.

    • Cannoli

      My sister fostered our dog for a week before we met her, and taught her all kinds of bad habits. We’ve got her pretty well trained at our house, but as soon as we go over to my sister’s she’s climbing on the couch and jumping on my sister and BIL.

    • TARDIS

      who is the alpha

      Mrs. Dean needs me to run an errand.

      ?

      I keed, I keed!

      • Mad Scientist

        I’m pretty sure THAT’S THE JOKE.

      • TARDIS

        I see.

      • commodious spittoon

        You suck, McBain!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That looks like a Natuzzi. Dogs love Natuzzi.

      • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

        It smells like all of their natural prey. What’s not to love?

    • Fatty Bolger

      I didn’t know you had kids.

  17. Fourscore

    OZY et al

    Sorry if I misled you on the last article, I didn’t mean to imply that that was my cousin’s actual flight, only that I thought it was fairly descriptive of what I had learned about my cousin’s flight. It was in all likelihood typical of many flights. After re-reading it I could understand how a misunderstanding could arise.

    I was young (7 YO) and my cousin was a lot older, I really didn’t know him but he was my dad’s only paternal nephew, my family took it hard (I was spared).

    • Ozymandias

      No problem, Fourscore. The authenticity of the piece struck me as coming from firsthand material; it sounds like that’s the case, but it was excellent writing regardless.
      I believe we have previously covered in the comments the size of the brass, ahem, fortitude… it would take to be a ball-turret gunner.
      As I noted, the reason it stuck out for me was my few occasions of sipping lemonade on my HS English teacher’s porch, pestering him to tell me more stories from the air war over Germany.

      • Fourscore

        Yep, close to what I have learned

    • Cancelled

      When I was about 11 at a 4th of July party a friend of a friend of my Dad (much older) got a bit drunk and started telling stories about his days flying B-17s over Germany. According to him most of the bombs got dropped on France or Holland (as soon as they hit land) because no one wanted to be in a plane full of explosives when they hit the flack and fighter cover. Maybe he was joking, but it always stuck with me as the one truly honest discussion I ever heard about combat,.

  18. Fatty Bolger

    I can’t help but wonder if CNN is covering the USPS thing because they’re setting the stage for missing ballots to be miraculously found after the election.

    • Count Potato

      Right now they are busy trying to associate people who died from covid with people who died in 911.

    • Fourscore

      Not only missing ballots but 2 small packages I sent to TX on Aug 27th. They leave here right away but things get confused after that. They need to hire UPS for the first mile(s) instead of UPS using the USPS for the last mile. Seems like a lot of stuff I send, often with a printed address, still gets misplaced.

    • Drake

      They are probably recording that “news” report right now.

    • Cancelled

      I don’t. If you can’t even joke about 911 how can you joke about the holocaust or child rape?

    • Mad Scientist

      Bit dusty in here.

      • slumbrew

        Some sort of localized dust storm must have just blown through here.

      • I'm Here To Help

        @#$%ing onion cutting ninjas…

  19. Nephilium

    I’m sure this decision is going to be popular with the students. Especially with no football. But don’t worry, AG Yost thinks that tOSU has a case against the Big10 over the cancellation.

    • Rhywun

      OFFS.

    • slumbrew

      She seems nice.

    • hayeksplosives

      What the shit is all over her face? Ball point ink or tattoos?

      • EvilSheldon

        Seriously, probably tattoos made with ball point ink.

      • Hyperion

        She’s just proudly displaying her wokeness.

      • one true athena

        There’s another mugshot floating around of her last year where she’s got half her face covered in a weird half-blackface, so she looks like those guys from Classic Star Trek.

        I read a theory that she’s attempting to avoid facial recognition, but she’s probably just an addict/nutcase.

    • B.P.

      She must’ve passed out on the couch at the Antifa riot pre-planning kegger.

      • TARDis

        and they were unable to draw dicks?

      • B.P.

        The People’s Council declared that to be too heteronormative.

      • TARDis

        So labia are out too? Ok, assholes it is then. I need a template so I can practice.

    • B.P.

      “Yeah, we’re totally inclusive and stuff, but could you maybe go riot over there for a little while? You’re spooking some of our best projectile throwers.”

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Bless her heart.

    • Suthenboy

      There seem to be a very high percentage of ‘protesters’ matching that profile…that or violent felons.
      Now we know why the left has been wanting to open the prison doors.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      There’s a whole lot of mental illness in Portland that Antifa is exploiting.*

      *Assuming she was arrested in relation to the riots.

      • Drake

        We may have closed too many state hospitals.

      • Cancelled

        Yeah, but then SP set up this site so we had a home.

    • slumbrew

      So great.

    • Rhywun

      a sack full of Ghiradelli chocolate bars was seen floating down Beach Street

      LOL

    • commodious spittoon

      Happy to be somewhere other than AZ? I would be for sure.

      • Brightfame Overlight

        I’m far away from everything, as far away as possible, cold lands in the wilderness,

      • Fourscore

        I’m looking out the window, don’t see you. I’ll holler out the door

        “Dinner at 6”

        Hmm

        Try again “Bella, dinner at 6, bring your friend”

    • Roland of Gilead

      Have you morphed into a yooper yet?

      • Brightfame Overlight

        No, very good guess, think higher

  20. hayeksplosives

    I see that San Diego Gas and Electric has cancelled their Wildfire Safety and Preparedness Fair this weekend.

    It was cancelled due to wildfires.

  21. Derpetologist

    The man who predicted 9/11 – Rick Rescorla

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rick_Rescorla

    ***
    Cyril Richard Rescorla (May 27, 1939 – September 11, 2001) was a soldier, police officer and private security specialist of British origin. He served as a British army paratrooper during the Cyprus Emergency and a United States commissioned officer in the Vietnam War. He rose to the rank of colonel in the United States Army.

    As the director of security for the financial services firm Morgan Stanley at the World Trade Center,[2] Rescorla anticipated attacks on the towers and implemented evacuation procedures credited with saving thousands of lives.[3] He died during the attacks of September 11, 2001, while leading evacuees from the South Tower.
    ***

    When he was a boy, he made friends with the American bomber crews who lived at the base nearby. He changed his name to Rick to sound more American.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Fake news…Biden predicted it…I read that in the news today.

    • hayeksplosives

      Ah, there are still a few roots left of the mighty oak that was once the British people.

      And that “I am Millwall” guy.

      I feel heartbroken for the few Brits left who remember the former greatness of Britain and the powerful ideas of its thinkers. The remaining stalwarts must be depressed at Britain’s slow suicide.

      We and the Aussies are next if we don’t learn.

  22. Derpetologist

    One hero among many – Orio Palmer

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orio_Palmer

    ***
    Orio Joseph Palmer (March 2, 1956 – September 11, 2001) was a Battalion Chief of the New York City Fire Department who died while rescuing civilians trapped inside the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001.[1][2][3] Palmer led the team of firefighters that reached the 78th floor of the South Tower, the floor where the plane had struck the building.[1][2]

    According to The 9/11 Commission Report, audio and video recordings prominently featuring Orio Palmer have played an important role in the ongoing analysis of problems with radio communications during the September 11 attacks.[4]
    ***

    His last radio calls are on YouTube.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IP51TrbyfsI

    • Derpetologist

      [incapacitating laughter]

      Man, if Trump walked on water, Team Blue would yell at him for not knowing how to swim.

      If he cured cancer, they’d say he put doctors out of work.

    • kinnath

      Arafat actually killed people before his Nobel.

    • B.P.

      Let’s get him an Academy Award, then.

    • Rhywun

      I am shocked.

    • Ownbestenemy

      How can one be so far deep in the derp that their (il)logical conclusion is to dump the award because Trump was nominated. Jesus some people.

      • Florida Man

        Hate clicks are all the rage nowadays.

    • Count Potato

      People should just start nominating Trump for every woke bullshit award.

      • Chipwooder

        I endorse this

  23. Derpetologist

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bachelor_tax

    Y’know, if you screw up your country so badly that people stop reproducing, maybe rethink some of your grand social engineering schemes?

    ***
    As originally passed and enforced from 1941 to 1990, the tax affected most childless men from 25 to 50 years of age, and most childless married women from 20 to 45 years of age. The tax was 6% of the childless person’s wages, but it provided certain exceptions: those with children that died during World War II did not have to pay the tax, nor did war heroes that received certain awards. Also, many students were able to obtain an exemption from the tax, as did people who earned less than 70 rubles a month. Furthermore, those who were medically incapable to give birth were also exempt to this tax, and many single men fraudulently escaped the tax by claiming infertility and provided fake medical documentation.
    ***

    Marriage draft dodgers? Larf!

    A great way to keep a country’s population from declining is to avoid starving and shooting millions of people.

    • commodious spittoon

      No, what really drives population growth is a ruinous war that kills off loads of virile young men. Think of the potential gains if we committed to endless, bloody wars, forever.

  24. Derpetologist

    the original defense of marriage act:

    ***
    The Lex Papia et Poppaea was a Roman law introduced in 9 AD to encourage and strengthen marriage. It included provisions against adultery and against celibacy after a certain age and complemented and supplemented Augustus’ Lex Julia de Maritandis Ordinibus of 18 BC and the Lex Iulia de Adulteriis Coercendis of 17 BC. The law was introduced by the suffect consuls of that year, Marcus Papius Mutilus and Quintus Poppaeus Secundus, although they themselves were unmarried.
    ***

    And of course, some animals are more equal than others.

    • B.P.

      “…and against celibacy after a certain age…”

      Baby, you gotta give me some lovin’ or I’m gonna be in trouble with the law!”

    • Fourscore

      “provisions against adultery”

      Those aren’t retroactive, are they? Is there not a statute of limitations or something? Asking for a friend, of course

      • commodious spittoon

        The worst feeling I’ve ever had was being cheated on. The third worst was being caught cheating.

        Actually, food poisoning is the worst feeling, followed by that dull shell shock sensation of a fever.

    • Rhywun

      “Here’s a cup of me. Knock yourself out.”

  25. Evan from Evansville

    robc posted this in the AM links and it meant a bit to me…

    “Baseball trivia question:

    Who was the first MLB player to hit a homerun into another state?

    If you know a bit about stadiums, it is actually a reasonably easy question. I am sure Pie will be all over this one.”

    …Then posted “That is why Ellis Park Race Track is in KY, despite being north of the river.”

    And I grew up a mile or two from Ellis Park as the crow flies! My dad was on the sports beat for several years before he got his own (small) metro column for the Evansville paper. As a kid I’d be given my $2 and would go after the minimum bets. It started out that dad would get our bets, but once the machines were opened in the late ’90s we’d do it ourselves, well under age. No one cared.

    • Gender Traitor

      Hey, Evan! How the heck are you?

      • Evan from Evansville

        Hey! I think I’m getting more stabilized. I have had a good couple of weeks to get to my new anti-convulsant meds…but MORE IMPORTANTLY: I feel like I have my agency back.

        I had a day of psych assessments on Wed. Then on Wed night I had…a job interview! They are going to hire me. They just want to know if I want to do elem or middle school kids. I have another talk with the head foreign teacher my Sunday night.

        I had a long and painful year. And I am THIS close to a year anniversary of the whole Incident. I feel like I’m back to being me. I’ll have a schedule. I’ll have a routine. I’ll have MONEY. I’ll be on my own—girlfriend and friends excluded here.

        I’ll feel normal again and not like the lab rat I’ve been for 51 weeks. It’s hard to express how important that is. But I feel so elated today. Big steps were taken and I’ve kept myself afloat, mostly with dignity.

        I plan on writing something that will hopefully appear on September 22, which will be a to-the-day touchdown celebration of putting the Incident Year behind me. It was difficult, but I am proud of how I was able to achieve what I wanted to. It took me a long time and I’m not yet perfect, but if I gave this to anyone else then I know they wouldn’t have bounced back like I have. I admit that I have made many mistakes.

        Live and learn. Grow and prosper!

      • Gender Traitor

        Yay Evan!

      • Grosspatzer

        Boom! Good on ya!

      • commodious spittoon

        If you need someone to chat with, help you through this, I can’t promise it’ll be illuminating or whatever, but I hear there’s people who specialize in that sort of thing.

      • Cannoli

        So glad to hear it!

      • Evan from Evansville

        Thanks! I am all over that already, though. I have a primary physician, and I see speech, occupational, visual and physiological therapists. I have a pretty full weekly calendar seeing these folks.

        The biggest mistake I made was going back to work in February…which I think was a great idea, but I straight-up wasn’t ready yet. Still had so many hallucinations and it was difficult to tell reality from irreality.

        There’s a fairly specific reason behind all of this, but that’s mostly for me, I think. I still am not comfortable getting into it at length, but I know that I know how I have been thinking and how I can make things worse.

        But I’ve made that mistake and I have worked at conquering that and have largely been successful recently. I know better how tackle these issues and feel more confident and comfortable addressing these issues. Take your victories when you can!

    • Raven Nation

      Man, there is some interesting stuff in the comments.

      There are folks around here who suggest that, if the left wins in November, they will work to stop a fair election ever happening again. I don’t agree with that. However, it does appear that there are a significant number of Americans who believe so much in the rule of experts that they might be willing to consider an end to meaningful elections as long as the people they supported were in charge. At the moment, the loudest voices make it seem like a majority of them are on the left, but I suspect there are some on the right as well.

      • Rhywun

        The experts have been in charge for decades. That’s why they’re freaking out now. So… in some sense, sure, we’ll still have fair elections. The question I have is will they mean anything.

      • Suthenboy

        Maybe we should start thinking of sedition as a real thing…..cuz it is.

      • Raven Nation

        I suspect there are a significant minority of Americans who would vote to end national elections if it meant the “right” people were in charge.

      • hayeksplosives

        TAKE CARE OF ME, DADDY GOVERNMENT! MAKE MY DECISIONS FOR ME!

        I’m going to go back to my safe space. Sure I don’t get to do anything, but I am sure SAFE!

      • commodious spittoon

        I bet processes degrade over time, too. So you manage to preserve our economy in amber with the idea that you extract the same resources year to year that you would at year zero minus one, and distribute those resources more equitably going forward. But it turns out that people get lazier and inattentive after they’ve fallen into a routine, especially now that you’ve dissuaded optimization. So you have exactly the same capital investment that you had when you took power, but it all goes to pot in a couple years because there’s no incentive and therefore no ambition to even maintain the capital stock as it is, let alone improve it.

        You can’t even maintain a perfectly working socialist economy at the pre-takeover peak rate of capitalist productivity, it ends up degrading into unfeasability within years.

      • kbolino

        Every government program created to help the people falls victim to the mentality of entitlement it creates. The first generation to collect Social Security got a lot more out of it than every generation since, even though they also got the fewest number of dollars.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I know a few.

      • Cancelled

        Once you have a permanent bureaucracy you will, not may but will inevitably end up ruled by the bureaucrats. Those who implement the rules are always the real rulers.

      • Suthenboy

        Of course there are. Right and Left hold no meaning for me. Collectivists, i.e. Authoritarians vs. Individualists does.
        Sadly I cant think of a single individualist on the ‘left’. Authoritarianism is baked right into that world view.

    • Suthenboy

      Trump is long overdue. I wouldn’t put half of those people in charge of policing the dog shit in my back yard.

    • hayeksplosives

      The Rule of the Permanent Bureaucrats. Unelected, unaccountable to voters and not subject to the rules they impose on others.

      Fox guarding the henhouse.

      What could possibly go wrong?

      • kbolino

        Hayek didn’t call his book The Road to Serfdom for nothing.

  26. Brightfame Overlight

    I have no idea what timezone i’m in,

    • Ted S.

      UTC for the win!

    • Suthenboy

      Your internet is down?

      • hayeksplosives

        That was pretty much my reaction. My cell phone is my watch and is kind enough to update as it crosses time zones.

        I live on Verizon Standard time.

      • Rhywun

        Yeah, I think all the major OS’es do that.

  27. Plisade

    Dudez, is there a zoom meeting tonight?

    • TARDis

      Glibs don’t have meetings. 🙂

      • Rhywun

        Especially on Fridays.

    • Tulip

      Look up thread. Neph is hosting.

      • Plisade

        ¡Gracias!

    • commodious spittoon

      That truck driver should be reprimanded.

    • Rhywun

      Owwie.

    • Suthenboy

      Driver fell asleep? Too long at the wheel and lost spacial perspective?
      He was definitely going far too fast. Maybe just an asshole aggressive driver?

      • Tulip

        Heart attack

      • Mojeaux

        Holy shit, for real?!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Holy shit\

    • hayeksplosives

      Holy moly.

      The roads will be a little safer once Tesla semi trucks are common.

      • Cancelled

        I don’t mean to criticize anyone’s religion, but couldn’t you pick one with less self delusion? Scientology maybe?

    • zwak

      As a side note, Florin and I-5 is a pretty shitty part of Sacramento.

  28. Count Potato

    “Houston will send city officials to “randomly selected” homes across the city, demanding blood harvesting of every person living at that address. This they justify as a COVID medical experiment, & the Mayor says “people should cooperate.” This is total insanity & medical tyranny.”

    https://twitter.com/johnflipside/status/1303915972953137152

    If this is true, someone is going to get shot.

    • Ownbestenemy

      So not mandatory but how many people turn down government agents (besides us) when they come knocking.

      http://www.houstontx.gov/health/NewsReleases/houston-health-department-leading-antibody-testing-survey-to-better-understand-the-spread-of-covid-19-in-houston.html

      “If we knock on your door, I strongly encourage you and your loved ones to participate in this important survey,”

      Like the government has never done secret experiments on its citizens before….

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        “Got a warrant?”

      • Ownbestenemy

        Adds address to list of first round of camp goers.

      • Suthenboy

        *Raises hand*

        I start out trying to be nice about it but that can change in the blink of an eye.

    • Sean

      No
      Fucking
      Way

    • Rhywun

      Stop giving Cuomo and Deblasio ideas, everyone else.

  29. Brightfame Overlight

    Nice Ted!

  30. Brightfame Overlight

    where’s the zoom?

    • TARDis

      See #16, it’s next to the meth.

    • Ownbestenemy

      8pm Neph time…5pm awesome time 🙂 Linky up thread.

      • TARDis

        5pm awesome commie time

        Left coasties. ?

  31. The Late P Brooks

    That’s a crazy multi vehicle crash.

    And that’s why you keep checking your rear view mirror when you’re stopped in traffic.

    • Suthenboy

      I am always checking mine.

  32. TARDis

    Watching The Boys. Ewwwww.