Wednesday Links in the Afternoon

by | Sep 30, 2020 | Daily Links | 313 comments

It’s Hump Day, y’all, and I am tired. I’ve been up before 5am until after 10 this whole week. This is Stage 1 training for newborn arrival. Time to start reacquainting my body with sleep deprivation. The soft days are over. Its time to get back to the old “sleep is for the weak” mindset.

Separate train of thought: I started doing these ankle mobility exercises and one involves kneeling down butt on ankles for, well, as long as I can stand it. It feels like getting a tooth drilled without being numbed. Not necessarily from a pain standpoint, but the same panicked reaction from my hindbrain that screams: “Fuck you, forebrain! This is not good, we’re being hurt, get up and run away!” I don’t really experience that in any other stretch. Does anyone else ever get that reaction?

Joe Biden, mushmouth or cryptomuslim? Seems like a correct use of the phrase, so probably just an accident.

Do you usually seek a week delay in releasing records when they show you to have done your utmost as a public servant?

Cry more, pussy. Just stay the fuck home if you disagree with lifting restrictions.

Three quarters of a million new jobs seem like a lot.

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

313 Comments

  1. Shpip

    We cannot let our guard down.

    Mask wearing will be our way of living for a long time to come.

    Can I get a “Fuck Off, Slaver” over here?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Whyfore you hate skience?

    • grrizzly

      Mask wearing will be our way of living for a long time to come.

      Fuck no, you fat cow. It’s about time to mock and insult these people.

      • C. Anacreon

        I’ve been telling my mask-loathing wife that I think they’re here to stay for quite a while. Now that the governors and county commissioners have gotten a taste of this power, they’re not about to let it go. There’s always going to be some infection out there, why do you want people to get sick? And the great majority of people are so docile in accepting this, and eager to tattle on those who don’t comply, they’ll happily submit to all this theater indefinitely. How much has the TSA relaxed in the past 20 years? Get ready for this to become the new normal, it ain’t going away, folks.

      • DEG

        Sadly, I think you are optimistic.

        I will continue to ignore mask rules when I can.

    • Spudalicious

      I consider the Glib mask to be a symbol of that.

  2. Count Potato

    “Separate train of thought: I started doing these ankle mobility exercises and one involves kneeling down butt on ankles for, well, as long as I can stand it. It feels like getting a tooth drilled without being numbed. Not necessarily from a pain standpoint, but the same panicked reaction from my hindbrain that screams: “Fuck you, forebrain! This is not good, we’re being hurt, get up and run away!” I don’t really experience that in any other stretch. Does anyone else ever get that reaction?”

    You want to stretch muscles, not ligaments. Anyway, I can’t give you a better answer without knowing how you foot it positioned on the floor.

    • Count Potato

      um “how your foot is”

    • Brett L

      toes pointing behind me. Top of foot on floor.

      • Tundra

        Try camel pose. Lots of things need to stretch to make sitting on your feet comfortable.

      • Not Adahn

        Sitting seiza? You’re SOL, white boy.

      • Count Potato

        “toes pointing behind me. Top of foot on floor”

        That’s a bad position for many people. You are putting weight on a joint. Try pushing down with your hands to hold up your weight so that your foot isn’t hyper extended.

      • Brett L

        Are you sure I can’t just beat my ankles into submission? There’s no pain except when I’m in the position, and it is decidedly less intense for the first several breaths. I try 10 slow(ish) breaths. At about six, my lizard brain starts acting like there’s a bigger lizard RIGHT BEHIND US RIGHT NOW! But it does not get more painful. It seems like some sort of psychosomatic or maybe somapsychotic feedback loop gets triggered.

      • Count Potato

        It’s probably getting more painful as time goes on because your are moving the tarsals out of a comfortable range.

    • Agent Cooper

      At least you don’t have Demi Rose’s ass. Or do … you?

      • Brett L

        Despite squatting more in recent years, I am still afflicted with the common white boy disease: noassatall.

  3. The Other Kevin

    “Reckless DeSantis moves Florida to Phase 3 crowds. He’s a threat to public safety”
    In Indiana, we are at Phase 5. I am writing this from the grave.

    • Mad Scientist

      Don’t forget to vote!

      • Lackadaisical

        His ballots are already in the mail.

      • The Other Kevin

        Thanks for taking care of that for me. I assume you mailed in Mrs. TOK’s ballots as well?

      • robc

        That is an interesting question. If someone dies between mailing in the ballot and election day, do they void it? Being dead on election day seems like it would make you ineligible.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Probably not, if they were alive when the ballot was a cast. No different than voting in the morning and croaking before the polls close that evening.

  4. Count Potato

    “Pressing President Donald Trump on when the American public would get to see his long-anticipated tax returns, Biden questioned: “When? Inshallah?”
    In certain vernacular, “inshallah” serves as a non-committal response to a question.
    Taken literally, the term “inshallah,” consists of three Arabic words (In sha’ Allah) which translate into “if God wills it.” Spiritually it represents a submission to God’s will. It can perhaps be seen as the Muslim counterpart to the Yiddish adage, “Man plans, and God laughs.””

    I’m going with mushmouth, as I doubt Joe would neither know nor use Arabic most people wouldn’t understand.

    • The Other Kevin

      That Cornpop story was really one of Aesop’s Fables, told in an ancient Greek dialect.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I believe he said it. That is exactly the focus group tested pander I would expect from a committee designing his responses.

      Now whether Biden knows what it means or not is a whole nother question.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Just a quick nod to Omar’s peeps to make up for saying he didn’t support defunding the police.

  5. Rebel Scum

    Late Friday afternoon, just in time for happy hour, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis put his finger to the political winds — and ordered bars, restaurants, and nightclubs to open at full capacity.

    Ordered them open?

    The gaiety can be deadly, but what the hell!

    The governor says it’s OK. We’ve been liberated from local rule!

    Fuck off, you totalitarian enabling cunte.

    • Rhywun

      Ordered them open?

      Right?! LOLfuck

  6. Tundra

    Hi Brett!

    You have my sympathy, man. Those were tough times.

    Builds character, though.

    Three quarters of a million new jobs seem like a lot.

    Well, imagine what would happen if they took the chains off!

    So jealous of Florida right now. Our fuckheads are still going with the “health clubs are dangerous, ‘mkay?” Which means, of course, that shutdown 2 is coming.

    Why do they have such a hard-on for gyms? Is is becasue they’ve never been in one? Or they are jealous of fit people? Sad, portly nerds who never got laid?

    Or are they simply getting off on submission and healthy people are a threat?

    As to your question, yes there are stretches and lifts that freak my brain out. Even heavy squats require telling the brain to stfu. No idea why.

      • Fatty Bolger

        But they are busy doing the people’s business, tovarisch! They must stay fit!

    • Brett L

      What’s really got them pissed off is that the state has waived all fines, fees, and penalties for non-compliance. So make whatever rule you want, the worst you can do is ask me to leave. If the cops come, I guess the can arrest me, but they can’t fine me and any charges will be dismissed. *

      *as I understand it. I’m not 100% clear on whether the state can keep the county from fining me, but they damn sure can’t convict me of anything without the state.

      • Tundra

        I thought I read that local governments can’t do shit without first submitting a financial impact statement to the state. Ain’t no way the pindicks in local gov will do that!

        No, count your meth-soaked blessings. DeSantis did a good thing.

      • Brett L

        Everywhere I’ve been this week still has mask signs, some bearing the Sheriff’s logo. I have not visited any restaurants. The new gym I go to seems pretty blase about masks, but the class is small.

    • Desk Jockey

      I have a conspiracy theory that they hate self improvement. Anything that you can improve yourself with, they hate it. They want to be the ones deciding who is improving and how you can get better.

      Still working on who “they” are though…

      • EvilSheldon

        That’s not a conspiracy theory, it’s amply demonstrated fact.

    • Fourscore

      Saw a “Recall Gov Walz” sign yesterday in Cross Lake, very few Biden signs

    • KibbledKristen

      Why do they have such a hard-on for gyms?

      Gyms don’t have a strong enough lobby group.

      • DEG

        I saw on one of the facebook Reopen groups I am on a joke explanation which makes sense.

        “The governor’s spouse cheated with a personal trainer!”

        It also works for bars and bartenders/waitstaff.

  7. Hyperion

    It’s afternoon already?

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Not if you never stopped drinking.

      • Hyperion

        I didn’t start, more than 2 weeks without any devil’s dishwater. Maybe that’s why I don’t know what time it is.

      • BakedPenguin

        Huh. I thought that was one of the benefits to un-nonsobriety.

  8. Rebel Scum

    Great success.

    Amazon Studios has acquired worldwide rights to the sequel of the 2006 film Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. The film, which stars Sacha Baron Cohen in the title role once again,will premiere late October on Amazon Prime and its subscribers in 240 countries and territories.

    The Borat sequel was the first movie made during the COVID-19 shutdown, shot surreptitiously as quickly as coronavirus shooting restrictions were eased, and unions were in agreement on a return to shooting. When that happened, Baron Cohen and his team were filming the movie the next day with a minimal crew.

    • Chipwooder

      Who falls for the Borat act at this point??

      • But Enough About My Wild Culinary Fantasies

        Anyone who’s 14 years old or less, perhaps.

  9. Chipwooder

    Twins are on the brink of their 18th consecutive playoff loss. Ouch.

    • Tundra

      Yay?

    • Nephilium

      Here’s hoping the Indians break their postseason losing streak tonight.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I was driving around today and was listening to local radio guys bitching and moaning about the Twins choke job. Can’t say as I cared one way or the other. I don’t think I watched an inning all summer.

      Baseball is truly screwed. They were already dying and this summer is going to just hurry the process up a lot.

    • robc

      Reds blew a brilliant outing from Bauer. Lost 1-0 in 13 innings. He gave up 2 hits and 12 strikeouts in 7+ innings.

      This was the game they had to have, Bauer was the free win card. I don’t think they can win it now.

  10. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Scruffy Stones update: Seems I passed the hangar queen, but I still have one lurking up in the kidney just waiting for its opportunity to deal a killing blow sometime in the future.

    So I ducked the pecker probe, but the nurse informed me that the intense pain I’m feeling right now is probably because my guts look like a clown’s oversized balloon animal. Her words “I want you to go home and fart… a lot…”

    • Sean

      Glad to hear you’re on the mend.

    • Tundra

      Jesus, dude. Glad you are somewhat better.

      The good news is fart freedom! Wherever and whenever!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m fart stymied right now. Must have been that uroxatral drug that made me puke.

        When it comes, nobody will be spared.

      • slumbrew

        New frontiers in sex-toy packaging.

    • Hyperion

      I’m starting to wonder if I have one. I’m not real sure of how it feels, never had them before that I know of. But my left lower back hurts with achy type pain all of the damn time, and I don’t know what I could have done to injure it. It’s like right on the tailbone but somewhat to the left. Damn shit is painful. I keep taking advil for it before I sleep. I think it’s more likely gout, but that usually makes my toe hurt and I don’t have that, and it doesn’t hurt when I pee, so probably not a stone. But fuck this shit, it won’t go away and the pain will radiate all the way around to my lower belly.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Stones are usually higher and unmistakably painful, like your wife stabbed you because you got caught screwing around.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Great analogy, it feels like you were stabbed, and somebody keeps twisting the knife.

      • Hyperion

        It’s very painful, that part fits. But it’s lower.

      • invisible finger

        Which side of your body?

      • Hyperion

        left

      • Fatty Bolger

        If you have a history of gout, I wouldn’t wait long before getting it checked out. The thing about kidney disease is that it can progress very far before any major symptoms show up. A simple renal panel will rule it in or out.

      • Fatty Bolger

        The location is right for kidney pain, including radiating around to the front. There’s also a strong relationship between gout and kidney problems.

      • Fourscore

        In the belly, biggly, you can’t isolate it to a particular area. Urine a pink color? I don’t wish that on anyone, well maybe, but not a Glib.

      • Hyperion

        No pink urine, looks completely normal. I think I either injured my back or its gout. Could be a kidney, I don’t know, but the central area is right on the tailbone to the left, and if I touch there it’s sore.

      • kinnath

        As someone that has lived with decades of low-back pain (sciatica) and has also successfully passed one smallish kidney stone, they are clearly different experiences.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        ?

        Stones are unmistakable

      • leon

        I had a kidney stone many many years ago. Went to the hospital and they just shrugged and said ‘Sucks to suck, hears some pain meds’. For a few days after i had a super weak stream, and i (being young) thought “Is this how my life is going to be from now on?”. Then i’m at the urinal, i hear a “plink” and the fire hose turns on.

      • BakedPenguin

        Stones are unmistakable

        Yep.

      • Tundra

        Nice. My fave album, but I would have selected this.

      • The Hyperbole

        A. Sticky Fingers is the best RS album
        B. Live With Me is the best song from Let it Bleed
        C. The Kinks are a far better band than the Beatles or the Stones.

      • Hyperion

        The pain is nearly imperceptible if I’m lying down. It hurts worst with movement, especially getting up out of my chair.

      • UnCivilServant

        Your humours are out of balance. I recommend leeches.

      • kinnath

        Lying down in a fetal position kept the initial pain to something less that excruciating.

        If the stove blocks the tube from the kidney to the bladder, pressure builds up and the pain is extreme.

        One the stone starts to move, the pain moves and its intensity depends on size and shape.

        From the bladder on down, it’s not really possible to describe the experience.

      • Hyperion

        I guess it’s not a stone. The pain is centered on exactly the same spot, the very lowest point of the lower back on the left side (not sure what those are called). It’s radiating around sometimes, but that is definitely where it’s coming from and it’s sore to the touch.

      • Hyperion

        And I just looked at some diagrams, this is much lower that where the kidneys’ are located.

      • Tulip

        Go get checked. You’re not afraid of the vid, are you?

      • Hyperion

        “You’re not afraid of the vid, are you?”

        You got me.

        No, I’m just not running to the doctor because I’ve had a backache for 3 days.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Visit the urologist. You’ll pee in a cup and maybe an X-ray.

      • UnCivilServant

        What good is peeing in an xray?

        I’m saddened at the lowering of medical standards.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It’s fun.

    • Count Potato

      I hope you a feeling better.

      Stay away from open flame.

    • Fourscore

      Why would one ever not fart? It’s the manlyist proof of manhood. Hope you’re on the mend and you can dump #2 with a #1 if you know what I mean.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Drink moar lemon water.

      • Hyperion

        Cranberry juice mabye?

      • But Enough About My Wild Culinary Fantasies

        NO. Cranberry juice contains oxalate, which can cause kidney stones.

      • Hyperion

        Wow, I drink a lot of it, lol.

      • But Enough About My Wild Culinary Fantasies

        Switch to orange juice. That’s the ticket, apparently.

      • Hyperion

        I don’t like it. I love oranges. But not the juice.

      • Hyperion

        Well, I guess I could drink it like I do the cranberry juice. 16oz glass, half filled with ice, filled to 2/3 with water, and then splash in the juice.

      • But Enough About My Wild Culinary Fantasies

        Sounds like you’ve got a bunch of orange-eating in your future.
        NOTE: not a euphemism.

    • EvilSheldon

      And so of course you replied, “Any reason I can’t just fart right here?”

    • Ted S.

      “I want you to go home and fart… a lot…”

      Your poor wife….

    • SugarFree

      May the wind of a thousand storms issue from your golden anus.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That would truly be a blessing right now, thank you.

    • DEG

      It’s good that things are getting better.

    • Mojeaux

      This too shall pass.

  11. Agent Cooper

    I’m going to design an IRON LAWS poster for Glibs consumption. I’ll need about a week. You’ve been warned.

    • Mad Scientist

      SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!

    • Plisade

      Yay!

  12. Fatty Bolger

    Do you usually seek a week delay in releasing records when they show you to have done your utmost as a public servant?

    The reason they gave for the delay is sound, they want time to redact witness names and personal information. Not that I doubt there there’s been some Grade A fuckery going on.

    • Homple

      Why not release all grand jury records then? Or for that matter, what’s the purpose of grand juries at all? I mean, other than to give grandstanding prosecutors a chance to try someone without allowing the accused to defend themselves.

  13. Gustave Lytton

    https://www.oregonlive.com/business/2020/09/portland-fines-contractors-for-allegedly-creating-front-company-to-certify-as-woman-owned-business.html

    News flash. This is how many women owned businesses operate. The buried lede is the cronyist world of journalism with not one but two ex-rags ending up in the same city audit office, working on projects that they previously reported on.

    From the older linked article, one of the claims of evidence of fraud was that the business owners attempted to quash a subpoena. Yeah, exercising your legal rights is proof positive of guilt.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I know of a business that was “owned” by two women from Ecuador that made a bundle during the construction of the Twins field. They simply shuffled papers and skimmed off the top. The shitlord man owned businesses would tell them what cable they needed and who to buy it from and the women would create the purchase order.

      I know you will be shocked but both women were married to wealthy guys who were connected to all sorts of politicians.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Chicago is famous for this.

  14. Rebel Scum

    Wishful thinking?

    Left-wing Hollywood carpetbaggers are hustling to flip Texas in favor of Joe Biden, urging people to donate money to Texas Democrats in the final stretch of the presidential campaign. “There’s no debate: If we #TurnTexasBlue, Trump is through,” they tweeted in unison. …

    “If we can raise another $1 million, we’ll be able reach out to more than 1.5 million newly-registered Texas voters, beat Trump, and flip a key Senate seat,” the fundraising site for Texas Democrats says.

    Hollywood elites descended on Texas during the 2018 midterm elections to bolster Beto O’Rourke’s ultimately unsuccessful bid to unseat Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX).

    Now, they are hoping their star power will convince voters to chip in to flip the Lone Star state. Comedian Amy Schumer — a cousin of Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) — urged her social media followers to donate the symbolic $38 for Texas’ 38 electoral votes.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Fucking Jimmy Kimmel.

      We were going to flatten the curve now it has been 7 months. what is wrong with everyone and why are we listening to these people https://t.co/mOi2X7p9p2— Adam Carolla (@adamcarolla) September 30, 2020

    • Chipwooder

      Hey, if they want to piss their money away, who am I to stop them?

    • Gadfly

      Wishful thinking?

      Texas is turning purple, but it’s not going blue this cycle. Polls show Trump up +3 and Cornyn up +8. Cornyn is no Cruz and his opponent is no Beto, so that race is a pipe dream for the Dems. The presidential race is more tenuous, but I don’t think the polls are under-reporting Biden support.

    • Raven Nation

      I learned about this one last week: https://www.flipthewest.com/

      Their focus seems to be Senate seats. Frances McDormand and Joel Coen are endorsing.

  15. Count Potato

    “Trump claims ‘I don’t know who Proud Boys are’ and finally tells them to ‘stand down’ after telling them to ‘stand by’ at debate – as Biden orders the far-right gang to ‘Cease and desist’ after they promised ‘action'”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8790913/Joe-Biden-tells-Proud-Boys-cease-desist.html

    “Portland Police arrest Proud Boys member who pointed a gun at Antifa protesters back in August – hours after Trump told the far-right group to ‘stand by’ and claimed the city sheriff’s support”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8791161/Portland-Police-arrest-Proud-Boys-member-pointed-gun-antifa-protesters-August.html

    Prior to the debate, I’m thinking 99% of people never even heard of the Proud Boys.

    • Not Adahn

      Hours after Trump said something last night, a Proud Boy pointed a gun at Antifa back in August?

      • Ted S.

        Like Cher, Donald Trump can turn back time.

    • Fourscore

      I keep thinking it was a bunch of 9th grad boys, hinting in the direction of a bunch of 9th grade girls.

    • Ted S.

      They’re the subject of a movie with the two Corys. Or was it that Duran Duran song?

  16. Count Potato

    Anyway, as I predicted, or anyone could have, the Biden campaign is running with Trump didn’t condemn white supremacists.

    It was a stupid question for Wallace to ask, Biden lied about the both sides thing, but Trump still should have been way more clear in his response.

    • Rebel Scum

      Biden and Wallace lied again. The question should not even have been asked. If anything Biden should have been asked if he disavows the endorsement by Richard Spencer.

    • Mad Scientist

      The racism attacks on the right are insane. If you were racist, wouldn’t you want to vote for the party whose members have been promoting the modern version of separate but equal?

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      It was a perfect opportunity for Trump to put the Charlottesville hoax to bed and he whiffed.

      • The Other Kevin

        ^ This. All he had to do was say the whole video is out there, he disavowed white supremacists multiple times, and anyone who says otherwise is a liar.

      • Count Potato

        +1

      • R C Dean

        That was my take. He should have been ready for it, and had the full quote ready to rock. And finished with “Do either you or Mr. Biden have a problem with what I actually said?”

    • leon

      Meanwhile: Antifa is just an Idea. And it just about being against fascisim. Gosh Trump must be a fascist if he hates the anti-fascists!

      • The Other Kevin

        And the Proud Boys are responsible for all the rioting.

    • grrizzly

      Do white supremacists even exist? Even if they do, they have no impact on the American society. I’m glad that Trump didn’t condemn imaginary characters.

      • EvilSheldon

        They exist. But yeah, they have zero impact on American society outside the federal prison system.

    • kbolino

      Something, something, birth certificate, something, Kenya.

    • Homple

      Mr. President, why do you not denounce the bogeymen who hide under the beds of woke people and gives them dreadful nightmares and makes them wet their beds?

    • The Gunslinger

      Nope. Peachy posterior and tiny waist.

      • tarran

        Don’t encourage him with the oxygen of your attention.

      • BakedPenguin

        Peachy posterior and tiny waist.

        Yes…and?

      • The Gunslinger

        Also ample assets

    • The Gunslinger

      Don’t let them discourage you Count. You do good work.

  17. Shpip

    I know that Glibs come from all walks of life and many parts of the globe, but which one of you is the parrot wrangler?

    • Pope Jimbo

      I’m more of a goat roper myself.

  18. Rebel Scum

    The Comey Rule

    “This investigation of the president was corrupt. The FBI and the Department of Justice were politicized and weaponized, and, in my opinion, there are only two possibilities: that you were deliberately corrupt or woefully incompetent—and I don’t believe you were incompetent,” Cruz said at the end of his questioning. “This has done severe damage to the professionals and the honorable men and women at the FBI because law enforcement should not be used as a political weapon, and that is the legacy you’ve left.” …

    “Mr. Comey, let’s go directly to lies. The inspector general report concluded that Mr. Clinesmith, an attorney who worked for you in the FBI, deliberately altered an email,” Cruz said. “He had emailed the CIA to ask if [Trump campaign aid] Carter Page was a source. The CIA came back and said yes, he was a source, and Mr. Clinesmith—your lawyer—altered that email to add the words ‘not a source’ to make the email say precisely the opposite of what the CIA said.”

    “That fraudulent document was then used as a basis for a fraudulent submission to the FISA court. You believe that is honest and competent, Mr. Comey?” Cruz asked after Comey said moments before that the FBI had “overall” acted in a “honest, competent, and independent way.”

    “I don’t believe you’ve offered an accurate summary of Horowitz’s findings,” Comey responded.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Comey is lying for his freedom now, and maybe his life.

    • R C Dean

      “So what part is inaccurate? Did Mr. Clinesmith work for you? Did he ask the CIA if Page was a source? Did the CIA reply that yes, he was? Did Mr. Clinesmith alter the email so that it said he was not a source? Was the altered email not used as a basis for the FISA court? Tell me, Mr. Comey, which of these points was not confirmed by Mr. Horowitz?”

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        or

        “I find it very interesting that you specifically address the accuracy vis a vis the Horowitz report, and not the actual truth of such claims. Are the claims true?”

  19. Count Potato

    “‘Trump has made my job a hell of a lot harder’: Furious Portland sheriff hits back after President boasted of having his support during debate

    Portland’s sheriff last night vowed he was not supporting Donald Trump after the president falsely claimed to have his backing during the first televised debate.

    Boasting of his support among law enforcement, Trump asserted that in ‘Portland, the sheriff just came out today and he said, I support President Trump’.

    But Mike Reese, the sheriff of Multnomah County which includes Portland, quickly retorted that ‘I have never supported Donald Trump and will never support him’.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8789107/Portland-sheriff-rejects-Donald-Trumps-claim-support.html

  20. Pope Jimbo

    The water in Lake Superior won’t turn frogs gay. Nope, but it will give you the Rona!!!!

    It’s mysterious, as Melvin says, because since the Fourth of July, he’s been taking samples every weekend from eight beaches along Lake Superior and testing them with his team for the presence of SARS-CoV-2, the virus that causes COVID-19.

    Nothing.

    Then, after sampling the weekend of September 11, he found trace amounts of the virus in water along four Duluth beaches: Brighton Beach, the 42nd Avenue beach, the beach near Leif Erickson park, and the beach on Park Point near the Franklin Tot Lot.

    It’s the first time Melvin knows of the virus being found in lake water anywhere in the country. Mainly, because Melvin and his associates don’t know of this kind of research being done anywhere else.

    Their hypothesis was that swimmers were bringing the virus into the beach water. Melvin says a person can shed the virus for up to a month after they are no longer showing symptoms.

    Great. More ammunition for the Karens. People shed for a month. It is in the water.

    • Rebel Scum

      This shit is so tiresome and stupid.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Buried at the bottom of that story is what I think is the real nugget of truth:

        Melvin says that’s why the research will continue. Their funding from Minnesota Sea Grant has been extended and Melvin says he’ll continue to take water samples for at least the next few months.

        The researchers will also work with experts in lake currents and with the Minnesota Department of Health as their work moves forward.

        Research grant money.

      • Tres Cool

        “he found trace amounts of the virus in water….”

        Care to quantify that, genius? How did you collect your sample? How do you know YOU dont have it and contaminated it? Who did the analysis?

        Complete, utter, bullshit.

        So many times Ive had to explain to a client why the asterisk (*PQL) next to their results was the analytical lab’s way of defining a Practical Quantitation Limit. IOW- they had something below the Limit of Detection and took a guess.

    • Ted S.

      I didn’t know Leif Erickson had a beach named after him.

    • Homple

      The Wuhan virus lives a long time in cold water? Can one of our virologists confirm this?

  21. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

    Worst LinkedIn cold call ever:

    “If you would like to talk, put a meeting on my calendar in October or November”

    Erm, hi, my name is trashy, who are you again?

    • slumbrew

      I realized today that with my new(ish) phone setup at work I don’t have voicemail at all – I’m not going to be correcting that.

  22. Certified Public Asshat

    “What do you hate about socialism? You hate, you know, driving on roads? You hate sending your kids to public school? You hate being able to call the fire department if there's, like, a cat stuck in your tree?” – @SarahKSilverman— Late Night with Seth Meyers (@LateNightSeth) September 30, 2020

    That’s it, that’s your sales pitch?

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      socialism =/= every single government function. Anarchy isn’t the only alternative to socialism. But I wouldn’t expect a shit-for-brains like her to know that.

    • Fatty Bolger

      MUH ROADZ!!!!!!!!

    • leon

      You hate sending your kids to public school?

      Ummm…. Yes, yes i do.

      • UnCivilServant

        As a victim of the public school system, I oppose its existance.

    • Ed Wuncler

      Clears throat……muuuuuh roadz!

    • mexican sharpshooter

      I fucking hate cats. Let it die in the tree.

      • Mad Scientist

        It only climbed up there so it could scratch you when you come up to rescue it.

      • Hyperion

        I had one who would only do that during a blizzard or ice storm. And I had to get him down or he would stay up there all night yowling.

        ‘OK, you fucking furball!’ *climbs up ladder on tree, cannot quite reach cat* ‘Come here you little fuck, I can’t reach you, come down just to here’. *rehhhrrrrrrrrr, yowwwww*. Then I’d finally be on the very top rung of the ladder and would barely reach him. He seemed to have the distancing down to an art. Then he’d run threw the house covered in snow and get it everywhere. This was all great fur for him apparently, along with tearing up an entire roll of toilet paper all over the house.

    • kbolino

      Somehow, all the “good” things in the country are the result of the socialists, stymied though they are at every turn by the evil capitalists, but none of the “bad” things ever end up being their fault. Funny, that.

      Also, appealing to public schools as an example of something you like is peak suburban soccer mom. Baltimore’s shining public school system will be churning out yet another generation of illiterates and innumerates.

    • Chipwooder

      I don’t have a cat and the schools refuse to allow my kids to enter the fucking building. Fuck off you dimwitted bitch.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I liked her so much better back when she was young, funny, and slutty rather than her current old, ill-informed, and stupid.

    • Rebel Scum

      Ignorant celeb is ignorant about what socialism is.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      The roads and schools in California are in such great shape.

    • BakedPenguin

      What do you hate about socialism?

      uhhh….Starving to death? You worthless, stupid, privileged cunt. Venezuela exists. It’s your paradise.

      If anyone ever volunteered to follow her around and tried to stop her from eating – demanding that she give all her food to the poor, I’d contribute to their SubscribeStar.

  23. Gustave Lytton

    Apparently there is now a presumption in this state that any home built before 2004(!) has potential asbestos containing material. Any demolition or renovation, even such as a kitchen remodel, now requires a certified asbestos inspector to conduct an inspection and have any suspect material tested by an approved lab. What a racket.

    Any ash from homes that were burned down by wildfire that were built before 2004 cannot just be dumped at the transfer station. There’s a scam artist crack deal being developed between FEMA and the state for specifically hired contractors to remove housing debris (with the homeowners’ consent) at no direct cost to the homeowner.

    • Mad Scientist

      Some crony is going to rake in millions on that deal.

    • Pope Jimbo

      The laziest person I have ever known moved to AZ and worked as a city building inspector. He told us during a visit back here that his standard operating procedure was to keep canceling or moving inspection times around until a homeowner would give up and tell him to just let himself in and do the inspection while they were at work.

      Then he’d go sit at the house and watch TV for a couple hours. If the homeowner played ball they passed the inspection no problem. But if they kept agreeing to meet up, he would do his very best to violate the inspection for some reason.

      • Ed Wuncler

        That’s fucked up.

        When my Mom came out of retirement (they gave her early retirement and after a couple of months at home, she said fuck this) she went to work at one of the VA hospitals as a supervisor. She was shocked at how brazenly lazy the workers where and how hard it was to discipline or write up the worst workers.

      • one true athena

        I clerked for an administrative judge of the EEOC for a summer, summarizing the cases for him. These were almost entirely “wrongful termination on the basis of discrimination” claims. There was one employee (either VA or USPS -I can’t remember which, but those agencies were the worst) whose file was probably 2 inches thick. It was ridiculous how bad some of these employees were, documented as such, finally terminated, then got an extra bite of the apple with their EEOC claim (and most also filed fed claims). What a fucking waste of time and money.

        And this was 15 years ago – I’m sure it’s far worse now.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I once asked one of our employment attorneys how many suits he had encountered that he felt had a legitimate case of discrimination. His answer: “not one”

        It’s an easy way to make a pretty decent severance deal if you don’t plan on working somewhere that’s going to call your previous employer.

      • R C Dean

        I regard all such claims as nuisance claims, and tell our lawyers that no, we will not mediate. No, we will not settle. I would rather pay them to fight it, than write a check for it, even if the cost of defense is more. Because . . . all together now . . .

        You get more of what you reward, and less of what you punish.

        I’ve never paid a dime on those claims, and I think I finally have the plaintiff’s bar here trained not to file them, because they will lose money on them.

      • Fatty Bolger

        When I was a yute, I moved to a new city and worked for a temp agency while I looked for a job. One of the temp jobs was for a city agency. They brought in two of us to stuff envelopes for some project, because they apparently didn’t have anybody in-house available to do it. Every time I looked around the office, lots of people were just sitting there doing nothing. For hours. The other temp and I talked while we worked, didn’t rush, and got all the envelopes done in less than a work day. The manager was shocked. She thought it would take us several days at least.

      • Pope Jimbo

        IRS center in Memphis was the worst/laziest place I’ve ever seen.

        It is enormous and I’d have to go out there to replace IBM equipment (I was a repairman for IBM at the time) and it sucked. First off it was always a long way to where you needed to go. If you were lucky, you could catch a ride on a golf cart being driven around by one of the IRS workers. And when you showed up the person was never there, then it would take forever to get them to show up.

        This was back in the early ’90s when most places you visited to repair IBM stuff were pretty formal. IBM made all of us wear ties (as repairmen we could skip wearing a jacket). But the IRS was full of people wearing flip flops and sweat suits. It was amazing.

      • Ed Wuncler

        If you read Notes from Underground by Dosteovesky, it’s nuts to see how civil services hasn’t changed since the days of the Russian Czars.

      • Chipwooder

        Hmmmm…how do you get that gig? Asking for a friend/

  24. Pope Jimbo

    Brett you’ve already got kids. You should know the secret is to completely and totally support breast feeding. Sure it might be good for the kid’s health, but the important thing is you can’t do it. And don’t let your wife try to weasel out of things by pumping into a bottle. That will totes emotionally scar your kid (no scientific basis for that statement, but just work on sounding very sincere when you tell your wife that).

    • Fatty Bolger

      Counter-argument: Prepping bottles and taking turns helps keep both of you sane.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Meh. As long as I am happy, why should I care about my wife’s sanity? Let’s face it, she was on thin ice to begin with. She married me after all, which is a huge argument against her intelligence and emotional well being.

      • Mad Scientist

        If you think your wife’s sanity is questionable, consider how loony Brett’s wife must be. She not only married him, but has agreed to bring THREE of his offspring into the world. She could be playing some long game with life insurance, but it’s just more likely that she’s completely off her rocker.

      • Pope Jimbo

        So a life insurance with double indemnity on meth overdose and/or gator attack?

      • R C Dean

        keep both of you sane

        Assumes facts not in evidence.

    • Ed Wuncler

      My wife tried to breastfeed and that shit lasted for two weeks until she told me to get in the car and get some formula from Target.

      • Pope Jimbo

        We were on the extreme other end of that spectrum. Our kids slept in our bed for the first year or two and it was easy for my wife to breast feed at night and we all got to sleep.

        Wife tried to do the American make your kid sleep in a crib for about a month and then gave up and said we were all going to sleep together like they did back in Korea.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        We did the compromise and got a rock and play to put next to the bed. It has subsequently been recalled because babies were suffocating, but on further review, they were suffocating because the parents were setting the thing up wrong.

      • Brett L

        I am pissed that we got rid of our rock and play and it is unobtainable now.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        And for the stupidest fucking reason…

        The babies would roll over and suffocate because they weren’t strapped in. If you strap them in (per the instructions) and stop using it when they’re rolling over, its not dangerous.

      • Mojeaux

        I have a captain’s bed that is enormous. XX slept in one of the drawers for 3 months of her life. I made a little mattress and side bumpers.

      • Mojeaux

        I lasted about a day. Milk didn’t come in and the baby was drawing blood, so…no.

        The breastfeeding police are awful.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        it amazes me how much guilt comes with that decision. Mommy guilters are horrible horrible people.

        What’s wrong with saying “breastmilk is best, but there are plenty of high quality alternatives for those who can’t or don’t want to breastfeed” and leaving it at that?

      • Tundra

        Just that the formulas used to be fucking soy-based.

        I wish we knew then…

      • Pope Jimbo

        That is on your husband. He should have been doing his part to get that milk flowing before the baby even showed up.

      • Chipwooder

        My son refused to breastfeed. Formula used to give him the worst gas.

  25. DEG

    Don’t listen to DeSantis.

    The Florida governor is a threat to public safety.

    No he isn’t. The author of this drivel can go fuck herself.

    Kudos to DeSantis for delivering on an end to lockdowns in Florida. I was skeptical because talk is cheap, and then he delivered.

    • Hyperion

      Worst of all, he’s going to cause Trump to win FL.

  26. Pope Jimbo

    Well it was nice seeing MikeS and his brother NoDakMat at the Honey Harvest this year. Too bad they will be dead by next year because there are no hospital beds available.

    Or maybe there is, but the beds are unstaffed and may be hundreds of miles away!

    The total of 255 available inpatient beds and 22 ICU beds around the state as of Tuesday, according to the state’s database, cuts in stark contrast with the picture of hospital capacity painted by the health department’s public-facing coronavirus dashboard.

    The gaping disparity exists because the figures the department reports to the public are for licensed beds — not beds that actually are staffed, although that information now is reported to the state, according to spokeswoman Nicole Peske.

    As of Tuesday, the dashboard listed 348 available inpatient beds and 152 ICU beds, which are figures for licensed beds, not necessarily staffed beds.

    *bonus points to the NoDak DHS official who said that cases were spiking after the Sturgis festival.

    • Hyperion

      They’re just making it up as they go along. If Trump loses the election, it won’t matter what the governors want, we’ll all be getting a hard lockdown until moral improves.

    • Gustave Lytton

      And surrounding states will tell ND to pound sand if they actually come close to running out of beds while empty beds are available elsewhere? Sure…

      • Pope Jimbo

        Look we will let our Gov lock us down and rule by himself for months and months, but if he starts letting NoDaks in, there will be real riots that make the George Floyd riots pale in comparison.

      • Gustave Lytton

        You guys just killed the Emir of Kuwait. Maybe you should rethink threatening Dakota grandmas.

    • slumbrew

      Cmd+F “staffing”

      Very last paragraph:

      “We routinely flex our scheduling as part of the normal course of business and have no concern about meeting the health care needs in our communities,” Dr. Doug Griffin, Sanford’s chief medical officer in Fargo, told The Forum last week.

      i.e., they don’t have people on duty when beds are empty.

      JFC.

      • Gustave Lytton

        and have no concern about meeting the health care needs in our communities

        Another greedy capitalist confirmed!

      • R C Dean

        Precisely.

        Not only that, we doubled our ICU capacity in two weeks. Its not that hard to do; for ‘Vid patients, the hardest thing was setting up the negative pressure rooms. Other than that, about the only difference is how the staff is trained. You can’t convert a regular floor nurse to an ICU nurse in a short period of time, but you’ve probably got some ICU-qualified nurses elsewher in the organization, and this country has a thriving business in “agency” and “traveller” nurses for exactly these kinds of shortages. They cost, but they are available.

    • invisible finger

      Wtf does a festival in South Dakota have to do with the health facilities in North Dakota????

      • Pope Jimbo

        Wind blows all the aerosolized viruses into NoDak.

        Part of Noem’s master plan to subjugate the savage NoDaks.

    • Drake

      “licensed” beds? Like licensed guns? Or mattresses with the tags?

    • Ted S.

      NY isn’t reporting hospitalization data any more as far as I can tell.

  27. Rhywun

    Three quarters of a million new jobs seem like a lot.

    Mine is in there. ?

    I’ve only been at it roughly 12 hours today and still not done. ?

    • Rebel Scum

      Dang.

      *makes popcorn*

  28. Count Potato

    “Journalists!

    Please please please do not try to interview the Proud Boys. They seek media attention and then use it to spread their toxic message.

    When reporting on tonight’s debate, call them white supremacists. But do not give them a mic.”

    https://twitter.com/BostonJoan/status/1311143675775205381

    CWAA

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Whatever you do, don’t talk to the Jews.

    • Pope Jimbo

      That is the sweetie who blame media riot porn for left wing protesters being blamed for violence.

      Donovan blames left-wing riots in America on “right-wing media makers” and “ring-wing reactionaries.”

      “As a scholar of social movements and media studies, I see an alarming split between the types of content consumed by right-wing reactionaries and left-wing social justice advocates”
      She claims that the videos of the riots, as she terms “riot porn,” are “fed into a media ecosystem with an established bias toward highlighting violence and rioting, the videos have mobilized white militia and vigilante groups to take up arms against Black Lives Matter and ‘antifa’ protesters.”

      “This feedback circuit has created a self-fulfilling cycle where white vigilantes feel justified in menacing and physically attacking racial justice protesters—and inspire others to do the same,” Donovan states.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        She looks much worse than exactly like I expected.

      • Chipwooder

        A giant tub of suet with eyes and a wig

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        As a scholar of social movements and media studies

        We should squirt them with a spray bottle any time they start a sentence like that.

        Bad scholar of social movements and media studies! Don’t do that in the house!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m smaht!

      • Mad Scientist

        I’m smart! Not like everybody says, like dumb. I’m smart and I want respect!

      • Rhywun

        Shockingly, they have an answer for everything. ?

    • Rebel Scum

      call them white supremacists

      Led by a Samoan and having several non-Caucasian members.

      • Hyperion

        They were searching far and wife to blame their supporters rioting and looting on a right wing extremist group. They couldn’t find anyone. And then someone pulled up and article from 2015, probably with Gavin McInnes and Lauren Southern, because those are the only 3 people I have ever heard about being with or hanging out with the group called the Proud Boys. And I haven’t heard anything out of them for years. But there was never anything white supremacist about them. Then they suddenly pop back up out of nowhere to get blamed for all the rioting and looting that blm and antifa have been doing.

        I have no fucking idea why Trump, during the debate, say ‘Joe, where are the videos of Proud Boys’ sitting fires, looting, rioting and attacking police? Because we have hours of blm and antifa doing that. You call those videos an idea that you cannot condemn?

      • Ayn Random Variation

        There were probably 10 times last night where I had an obvious, proper response to Biden or Wallace nonsense and Trump shit the bed.
        Very frustrating to not have a sensible, articulate alternative to the lefty narrative that the (m)asses will vote for.

      • Rhywun

        “Token.”

        /from the people who have an answer for everything

    • Chipwooder

      Which is kind of funny considering that I’d guess a majority of their members are going to vote for Trump

    • robc

      Stay?

      • But Enough About My Wild Culinary Fantasies

        Steelworkers.

        I loved that episode.

      • Ted S.

        Poor Lach.

      • But Enough About My Wild Culinary Fantasies

        What? He works hard, and he plays hard!

    • The Hyperbole

      You need permission to shine a light unto a building?

      • The Hyperbole

        Knock yourself out. I have black out shades.

      • Not Adahn

        The gobo with “I am a child molester” along with your home and work numbers is an added benefit.

    • Sean

      Also makes Trump right. Again.

    • Rebel Scum

      Elections should require paper ballots only. Voting machines are bullshit.

      • R C Dean

        This here.

        Paper ballots only.

        Maybe three days of voting at the polls, at most.

        No ballots are ever mailed to anyone.

        Absentee ballots must be picked up in person, and can be mailed back.

        Our current system is apparently designed to be as fraud-prone as possible. There are third world countries with better election security.

      • robc

        One day of voting.

        Since it is going to become a national holiday too, do each precinct for a small period of time, like a 2 hr block max, everyone gathers, votes, votes are counted while everyone is still there.

        Same location can be used for about 6 different precincts with sequential blocks.

    • creech

      Nothing to see here; move along. Meanwhile, out in the Philly burbs (West Chester) the local rag breathlessly reported – above the fold, across the page headline – that an unknown Trump supporter had yelled a racial insult at a colored person Biden sign waver who was giving the finger to the passing Trump cavalcade. The woman verbally assaulted was so horrified and upset, she called the cops and they are apparently wasting time looking for the unknown insulter. Apparently the 1st amendment doesn’t apply to racial insults, but continues to apply if someone were to call a Trump supporter a Nazi or White Supremacist.

      • Hyperion

        That’s the problem. The left want to change ‘equal under the law’ to ‘you will be prosecuted, or not, according to your identity’.

    • Ayn Random Variation

      I’ve heard nothing but crickets since 7 Trump ballots were found in a dumpster in PA last week. My favorite PA thing is that mail in ballots received up to 3 days after election day will be counted even if they have no postmarks. Also, signatures, schmignatures in PA. Trump will have to get 55% of the vote to win PA.

      • DEG

        I heard the GOP is appealing to the US Supreme Court on the ballots three days past ruling.

        I expect Chief Justice Penaltax will find a way to not only allow the ruling to stand, but to extend it to a week past election day.

  29. Cancelled

    I spent the day in Boise. This morning in the Botanical Gardens built in the grounds of the old penitentiary (which the sat nav pronounces in a hilarious manner) and from 11-3 at the Military History Museum, and I swear one of you guys works at the Museum, I spent 3 hours chatting with people I agreed with about almost everything and who were very knowledgeable. Now I am drinking scotch knowing that tomorrow I will go somewhere beautiful, that I will pick later tonight, or maybe tomorrow. Grubhub will be delivering ribs to my room, and nothing is expected of me except that which I choose. For this one moment in time everything is possible. Life is fantastic. God is in his Heaven and all is right in the world.

    • Tundra

      Fuck yeah.

      Happy for you brother!

      Off to OR in 2 weeks!

    • Ayn Random Variation

      Reminds me of the day I was in a small CO town talking to friends of my father and people were agreeing with me and I was agreeing with them!
      Maybe with this work from home thing I can escape the northeast.

    • Gustave Lytton

      The one by the airport, or is there another one? My wife and I watched, well listened, to a Counting Crows concert from the parking lot at the old penitentiary. Price was right.

      • Cancelled

        It is by the Idaho National Guard Base and Gower Field

    • DEG

      Excellent!

      I am eating and drinking in an establishment which ignores the local mask ordinance. It’s delightful normality.

  30. Count Potato

    “Condemning White Supremacy (or Not)

    Last night, President Trump and Former Vice President Biden were on stage at the first presidential debate. While there were plenty of notable exchanges during the 90 minute program, many people today are talking about a specific moment regarding the President condemning (or not condemning) white-supremacists and far-right militia.

    To many, it was clear as day. The President refused to condemn white supremacy. And this morning, this viewpoint was trending on twitter.

    To the right, however, the President has consistently condemned white supremacy and condemned it twice during the exchange last night.

    This moment, as you can watch below, is muddled with plenty of cross-talk, and is far more ambiguous than one might first expect.”

    https://www.narrativesproject.com/p/condemning-white-supremacy-or-not

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      You sound like a supremacist

  31. Tundra

    Lol.

    Neither my dog nor my robot vacuum will shed a tear when the other dies.

    • Hyperion

      I don’t take naps too often, but a few days ago, I just got really sleepy that afternoon after work and went to take a nap. So then the robovac comes in there and is making all sorts of noise, and then got stuck under the dresser and I had to get up and get it unstuck so it would shut up. Then I took it back to the dock and said ‘stay here you annoying chunk of plastic, or I will smash you to pieces!’.

      • Tundra

        I’ve figured out how to jam-proof the premises so the little fucker can do its job.

        It’s still an excellent piece of technology. Can’t replace OCD cleaning, but makes the periods between bearable.

        Plus, it’s fun to watch it seemingly veer toward the dog at every opportunity. Whoever programmed this thing is a dick, but funny.

    • Mad Scientist
      • Tundra

        Awesome!

        For some reason he couldn’t care less about the regular vacuum, but he hates the robot with a passion.

  32. Rebel Scum

    I find it irritating that Biden is being referred to as “Vice President Biden”. He is no the vp. Mike Pence is the vp. The title goes with the office.

    • Sean

      ? Yes

    • The Hyperbole

      Yeah, that ship sailed a loooong time ago. Once a Pres or VP or Judge always Pres or VP or Judge.

      • R C Dean

        Now, let’s look a little closer. In an informal setting (such as a private lunch), it’s acceptable to use the title the ex-official held. Here, you could refer to former President Jimmy Carter as either “President Carter” or “Mr. Carter.”

        Wrong, Emily. He is no more the President than I am. And you wouldn’t refer to me as “President Dean” in an informal setting.

      • R C Dean

        Although I do think its appropriate to refer to a former President as “failed President X” in any setting.

      • slumbrew

        I choose to fight the good fight.

    • Cancelled

      He is, however; welcome to refer to himself as pitcher of warm spit Biden

    • Hyperion

      It’s for the same thing they did with Hillary, constantly referring to her as madame secretary. For them, it’s royalty. Sickening.

    • slumbrew

      Tremendous pet peeve.

      Same for calling everyone who ever held the office ‘President’. It’s Mr. Obama, Mr. Bush, Mr. Clinton, etc. these days. “Former president …” if you must.

      • R C Dean

        “Unconvicted felon” should also be acceptable.

      • Lackadaisical

        XD

        But aren’t we all… 😉

      • Hyperion

        Only 3 times a day.

      • R C Dean

        Slacker.

    • creech

      Yeah, but Jill Biden is still DOCTOR.

      • Hyperion

        I also hate it when people do that. I worked for a company where the CIO, who was my boss, was a pompous gasbag of an asshole and he’s always refer to his wife anytime he mentioned her as Dr. [her first name]. She was a music teacher.

      • KibbledKristen

        My Ma used to use my Pa’s PhD title when there was a wait at a restaurant. She did that at Ruth’s Chris in DC and I said “nobody cares – there’s probably Senators here”. LOL

      • Hyperion

        That’s funny.

  33. Lackadaisical

    My article is about to drop in an hour… TPTB are quick to review and approve submissions. I think I submitted around noontime.

    Should be a good one where we can find out who all the not true libertarians are. 😉

    • Gustave Lytton

      Criminals have copies of mail truck keys (keyed alike?) and steal mail. Would love to see video of the carrier coming back and their reaction. Panic looking around followed by phone call or nonchalantly pulling the door down and driving off.

      • Sean

        What’s the treasure? Bank info? Credit cards? Birthday cards with cash?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Corporate checks. They wash them and reissue.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Small envelope packages from Amazon or other companies as well, maybe?

    • LJW

      Not sure who I would trust more with my vote, the US postal service or the California election commission.

    • Brett L

      I assume if you steal enough mail at once, you get some checks.

    • LJW

      The video is weird. The fact that the recording was going on long before anything suspicious happened makes me think it’s fake.

      • Sean

        It is weird. That why I put quotes around steals.I

  34. ruodberht

    OT: Anyone here into Nozick at all? I have an Audible of Anarchy, State, and Utopia I’m considering using to make a road trip more tolerable this weekend.

    • Hyperion

      IOW, it’s not going to be funny anymore.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        It’ll still be funny, just not as funny. Make sure you buy physical media, people.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Cancelling The Boondocks? Oh boy…

  35. Sean

    I’m sick of getting political texts to my cell phone. ?

    • DEG

      I reply with “Fuck Off Slaver” then block the number.

    • Rhywun

      Never received one. ?‍♂️

    • Gustave Lytton

      Libertarians across the country paid tribute to Trump’s accomplishment by firing their AR-15s into the air and doing hard drugs, though this is what they were already planning on doing anyway.

      Jo Jorgenson’s poll numbers have plummeted as a result of the revelation, with both of her supporters saying they’re switching to Trump.

      • DEG

        I like it.

    • Hyperion

      Ankle biter.

  36. Shpip

    So the Cubs were cruising in their playoff game against the Marlins, right up to the point where Miami put up five runs in the seventh inning and won the game.

    Some wag should put up this fan cutout in the Wrigley stands along the left field line. Can’t blame him this time!