Labor Day Weekend Colorado Hippy Trip (Part II)

by | Oct 23, 2020 | Travel | 197 comments

In Part I we have left Missouri, traveled around Colorado, and are now looking for a place to camp.

We had noticed driving up Phantom Canyon Road that part of it was BLM land and you could camp. I looked at the map again and it appeared that there was more land north of Divide. We started driving north, but it appeared that north was going to drop in elevation and we wanted to go up in elevation. We headed back south and started up the mountain. There was another road, (what’s the point in traveling if not to see something new) that looked like it would be similar to PCR; it was similar, except that all the land was private and there was nowhere to free camp.

As we’re traveling to a place to camp the wife asks if our little dog will attract bears? Hmm?! I hadn’t thought of that, also hadn’t thought about being bear aware and locking up all the food. Actually glad the wife can be somewhat anxious.

We then went back and headed back onto PCR. After traveling a mile or so we found a good enough spot; we stopped. After setting up camp. (i.e. pulling the cooler and two lawn chairs out, and fixing the bed in the back of the SUV) we had a nice supper of spam, potato chips, and beanie weenies! (We made sure to put all food /trash into the cooler and the cooler into the car!) After supper we just enjoyed the view and the nice 68F temperature.

 

Camp site from atop a small incline

 

Looking South East

 

The wife conked out pretty quick and went to bed around 7pm. Me though, hell I had to see the sunset! So, I stayed up and had a couple drinks and watched the shadows cover the mountain, couldn’t actually see the sun from where we were. Around 10pm I decided to go to bed. (Pink Floyd’s “Comfortably Numb” comes to mind.) Mr. Lazer is a little drunk; even though I just drank my standard Saturday evening fare, I had forgotten to add into the equation that I had eaten little in the way of food and I was going on 5 hours of sleep and a 13 hour drive. Somehow I managed to get the lawn chairs to the front of the car (the wife wanted to make sure no one would steal them) and stumbled into bed. I feel it might be “one of those drunks.”

Around 2am I awake and relieve myself and can definitely tell its going to be “one of those drunks.” The wife awakens around 5am and is ready to go, I unfortunately I have to rid my stomach of its contents, only there is no contents, I am already dry heaving. UGH.

I stay in the back trying to sleep as my wife drives us out of PCR, stopping once along the way to dry heave out the back door. As we get back to pavement I am able to move to the front seat, still out of it, but setting up. I miss an elk crossing the road, dang it, but I am able to see a couple of mulies along the side of the road, one with an amazing rack. We make it to Colorado Springs and I wake up to help with the gas situation as the wife goes to pay, pee and get me some Alka-Seltzer. (I am hoping it will get into the blood stream quick.) I puke that up before leaving the parking lot.

My wife wakes me up in downtown Colorado Springs because the map had lost connection and she didn’t know where to go. (She says I said something mean like, “learn how to read a map;” moi?)(The difference between my wife and I on using a phone map is that I look at it like a paper map and use the voice and prompts to help, and also look for what might be a better way; she just puts it on and trusts it.) Anyway, we are able to make it out of Colorado Springs and head east on 94. I wake up at 8am and feel fine, well, alive at least. I am thankful for that because I’ve had “one of those drunks” last until 3pm.

We continue on home without incident, just the occasional gas/pee stop. We head south to Wichita and then east and into Missouri. As we are headed back to Missouri we see the Independence, KS road sign. The wife and I had watched and enjoyed “Last Chance U” and so we decided to drive the 7 miles south to Independence to check it out. The town is a little bigger than they lead you to believe on the show, approximately 10,000 population. It has neat little downtown and even a zoo!

We were back home around 8pm and were able to get a good night’s rest so we could do adult stuff on Labor Day. You know, like laundry, washing the car, cleaning the house, and even refereeing a football game that night.

P.S. 1 – We didn’t visit any dispensaries, I don’t imbibe very often anymore, the wife doesn’t at all. I did want the wife to experience one because I got to in ’17 and it was pretty cool. I’ve always just got what ever was around, never had an actual dealer who had choices and it was pretty neat being in a dispensary where the marijuana was set up like a liquor store.

P.S. 2 – Since it’s the year of CCP Cough a footnote on masks:

Kansas has a statewide ordinance; we don’t wear no damn mask! (Well, aksually, (is this the correct way?) I do at work when needed, and the wife will when when I’m not with her.) In the town we are in they have a hearing impaired exception, even though I haven’t been asked since the first two weeks, and suburbia around us has no ordinances. We were never questioned in Kansas.

Coming into Colorado the state had a big portable road sign letting you know that masks were a state wide mandate! The first town in Colorado we stopped in, La Junta, the lady tried to get me to but I used the hearing exception. (I checked after we got out, CO does not have a hearing exception. Oops, my bad.) In Canon City I asked a guy, who you could tell didn’t wear a mask, about how strict the enforcement was. He said no problems in the mountains, but probably pretty strict in the cites. I was not confronted again in CO, and I say the percentages were probably 40/60 masks/no masks. On the way back we stopped in a small town in eastern Colorado called Cheyenne Wells, maybe 500-700 population. Well, the only store there didn’t even have a sign on the door! NO ONE was wearing a mask, (now there were only three other customers), not even the attendant! (He had to have had a medical exception since he was about 5’10” and 4 bills!) I think this is where we need to re-locate the BLM headquarters! It would help the town out financially, it would be closer to the western lands they manage, and it would be great to see all the Washington bureaucrats living in Cheyenne Wells, CO!!

 

About The Author

Lazer

Lazer

Still trying to become the main character in Charlie Daniels "Long Haired Country Boy"

197 Comments

  1. UnCivilServant

    We had noticed driving up Phantom Canyon Road that part of it was BLM land and you could camp

    I didn’t realize the resegregation had spread that far… oh, you meant Bureau of Land Management

  2. Florida Man

    Actually glad the wife can be somewhat anxious.-

    Stupid wives always bring down a good time and keeping us alive.

  3. Florida Man

    I’m in line waiting to vote at the same place I always vote. Usually I just walk in show ID and am out in five minutes. This time there is a line around the building. I’m sure this is a big sign, but I sign for what I can’t say. Definitely enthusiasm (ht Sean), but for or against Trump is anyone’s guess. Orlando is a blue city, but I live in a red island neighborhood.

    • Florida Man

      Ps: I’m wearing my horror clown mask as a political statement that we live in clown world, but it is still a horror show.

    • CPRM

      I’ve never voted for president on any day not designated as election day per the constitution. I’m a True Scotsman! Yew r nott, wee lad!

      • Florida Man

        There can be only one!!!… so why try?

    • R C Dean

      I’m planning to vote on Election Day, but I am concerned about a line, even before they open. I hate to add to the pre-Election Day tally, but I’m considering Monday.

      • Florida Man

        If you have the day off, do it first thing in the morning. This election may set records for turnout if my library is any indication.

      • R C Dean

        I’ll probably cruise by Monday and make an impulse call on whether to vote then.

      • Hyperion

        I’m thinking Tuesday, maybe the rush will subside after Monday, or maybe Thursday is a better plan.

      • R C Dean

        I mean Monday before Election Day, not Monday three days from now.

      • Hyperion

        I’m going to avoid that day, lines will probably be a mile long.

      • Rhywun

        make an impulse call on whether to vote

        My work gives us up to three hours to vote so I’m thinking of doing the same if I feel like wrapping up early on Real Election Day.

      • CPRM

        I have election day off (by coincidence), so we’re (Tulip is in charge until it’s too late for her) a zoom chat drinking session for election night!

      • invisible finger

        “This election may set records for turnout”

        Hard to call mail-in a “turnout.” So more low-information voting than usual. A great leap backwards.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        This election may set records for turnout if my library is any indication.

        There are always hotspots. My wife was in a 2.5 hour line on the first day of early voting. Thankfully I figured out that she was in the wrong county after a few minutes. She went to the voting location on the other side of the county line there was no line.

      • Florida Man

        I’ve been voting at this particular location for 10 years. I’ve never seen it this long, but you’re probably correct that it is an anomaly.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I’m hoping it’s not wishful thinking on my part. High turnout never bodes well for liberty.

      • Hyperion

        I’m voting early, at the poll. I threw the mail in ballot request form in the garbage, where it belongs.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I’m against the mail-in fraud and all of that, but I’m fine with early voting. I’ve early voted in almost every election I’ve done. Same process, same technology, just on a different day. It’s nice to be able to take a 20 minute break from work and knock it out.

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t want the fraudsters to know how many votes they need to fabricate.

      • Florida Man

        Without early voting I wouldn’t have been able to vote most years. 12 hour shifts and hospitals don’t close for elections.

      • R C Dean

        Most(?) states require that employers give people some time off on Election Day to vote. Its a bitch with scheduling coverage in an organization like a hospital, though.

      • Florida Man

        Idk if that’s a law here. I always vote early so I’ve never looked into it.

      • CPRM

        Polls are usually open for 14 hrs. I just think you’re lazy.

      • Florida Man

        Undoubtedly I’m lazy, but my vote counts more than yours, sucka!

      • R C Dean

        I can live with a few days of early voting. But early voting creates security risks. Paper ballots are sitting in storage longer. Machine tallies are known earlier/exposed to alteration longer.

        The most secure voting, I believe, is paper ballots only, cast in person, on election day after showing photo ID, with absentee ballots picked up in person after showing photo ID.

        This was the system forever (or nearly so; you could get absentee ballots by request through the mail). It wasn’t broken, yet for some reason we “fixed” it.

      • Hyperion

        We had to fix it for the same reason we have to pack the courts. To stop rethuglicans from oppressing us.

      • Gustave Lytton

        They sold it here on convenience (similar to motor voter and other ways to claw in names of people who otherwise can’t be bothered) and cost reduction.

      • CPRM

        Unless you are going to be out of your voting district (absentee) on voting day, it’s just so much vanity. You’re More Important Than Those Others.

      • Urthona

        I like to have a few extra days to swallow my bile and vote for Trump.

      • Florida Man

        I did it. First time I voted republican since 2000. It wasn’t bad because really I was voting against mobs and gun control and not for Trump.

      • robc

        I am off work next Friday so I am going to vote then. Like you, I hate doing it early, but ehhh, whatever, its not like my vote for Jo matters anyway.

      • ElspethFlashman

        I did my voting last week already. I got my ballot early in the mail, and then I hand-delivered to my City Clerk’s office the day after !

      • ElspethFlashman

        The benefit of living in a small suburb. Plus my city clerk’s office is about a mile from the house.

      • Florida Man

        I don’t have a rational reason not to vote by drop off. I just “believe” when I put my ballot in the scanner and see the receipt pop out my vote was counted.

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t believe the machine when I feed the paper ballot in and it claims my vote was counted.

        How do I know it was counted correctly? The machines here don’t even say who they think you voted for.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        yes, that bothered me. I’d like to see an active tally on the screen and watch it increment.

      • leon

        Do you want a secret ballot, or do you want to know your vote was counted?

      • Ted S.

        I’m voting after work on Election Day. There are maybe 500 registered voters in town, and the election clerks know me (even though I don’t know who the hell they are). I get off work at 2:30 and usually get home on Election Day around 3:00.

    • The Hyperbole

      All of you people voting are just encouraging the assholes, stop doing that.

      • Cancelled

        You never go full “Stop doing that.” You know how it always turns out.

  4. Florida Man

    We didn’t visit any dispensaries, I don’t imbibe very often anymore, the wife doesn’t at all.-

    2 more years until FL votes on rec-pot. Hopefully it will pass and I can numb myself under Biden’s reign.

    • Hyperion

      If the dem’s win, they’ll flip on the weed and the feds will swoop in and crush the states allowing it.

    • Nephilium

      Ohio has already voted down rec-pot once, but it was an amazingly corrupt crony bill (it specified specific parcels of land that were the only places that the marijuana could be grown). It got pushed off the ballot this year by the AG before the lockdowns had started here.

      • Fatty Bolger

        At least it’s been decriminalized. I don’t think that’s the case in Florida yet.

      • Florida Man

        We have med-pot, but if you don’t have the card you’re up Schitt’s Creek.

  5. Florida Man

    Several people in line wearing Biden mask. I thought you weren’t allowed to electioneer at the poll?

    • CPRM

      They made that lady take off her Trump shirt for a primary vote, but I suppose that won’t kill you like taking off your mask.

      • Florida Man

        That scene horrified me as a child. Now I read sugarfree with my lunch. I think it is safe to say I’m dead inside now.

      • CPRM

        My little brother was scared by that movie, but it wasn’t that scene, it was Kuato, he was racist against conjoined alien mutated twins or sum such.

      • Cancelled

        Conjoined twins are creepy. I’m not ashamed to admit they freak me out.

      • Fatty Bolger

        It horrified me as a young man, because it was so bad.

  6. Florida Man

    Report from the front lines:

    They have a mail in ballot drop box here. A lady just dropped her ballot and returned her library books in like 2 minutes. Evidently I’m the chump for voting in person.

    Demographic report:

    99 percent white people, latest arrival show up in a masaratti. I think this particular poll is going to the rich white liberal subset.

    • R C Dean

      “If you like your Maserati, you can keep your Maserati”?

      • Florida Man

        Don’t worry, Biden’s plan will only affect the rich that drive Bugatti’s, not the lowly merc and bmw drivers…lol

      • Hyperion

        When Biden said 400k, he accidentally put an extra zero in. He meant the filthy rich making over 40K. They always mean that. So it’s the drivers of Toyota Camry’s that’s really gonna get it.

      • commodious spittoon

        They’ll reinstate SALT deductions and pretend it’s not a massive tax cut for the rich.

      • Nephilium

        The outcry over the change in the deductions entertains the hell out of me. You have people with one breath saying to tax the rich more, then talk about how it’s unfair that they don’t get to deduct all of their local taxes.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Massive cut for rich in high local tax jurisdictions. Aka Democrat funding base.

      • Cancelled

        You are incorrect. He said $400k and he meant it! He didn’t mention, but does mean, the 10:1 revaluation of the dollar, which exp[erts agree will instantly get us under the 100% debt to GDP ratio. That won’t be announced until the day after a massive bond issue.

  7. commodious spittoon

    I am already dry heaving. UGH.

    My best backpacking memory is hiking up to Horsethief Meadow with my brother, only we overshot it by a couple three miles and ended up on the Pecos Baldy ridge. We drank a bottle of Pendleton or Makers between us and smoked some, and watched a fantastic lightning storm roll over Santa Fe. I was taking a physics course that summer and between the booze and the pot I thought I figured out how the electromagnetic spectrum works.

    My worst backpacking memory is hiking out the next morning.

    • CPRM

      You’re Elon Musk?

    • Florida Man

      I hiked the painted desert when I lived in Phoenix. I nearly froze to death, because growing up in Florida I didn’t know deserts got that cold.

    • Raven Nation

      Also, higher altitudes are not your friend if you’ve just arrived there and are not drinking a lot of (non-alcoholic) fluid.

  8. Florida Man

    My vote was suppressed!!! I had to wait an hour and show ID. Oh the humanity!

    • Hyperion

      Sure, you and your white supremacy will be fine. But poor colored folk are not able to go to a poll and fill in a ballot or show ID. Poor colored folk don’t have no ID because whitey won’t let them have one.

  9. UnCivilServant

    🙁 Apparently my home scale is four pounds off from the scale at the doctor’s office. I’m going to assume that theirs is closer to the real value.

    At least over the target change in mass, it’s not that big a deal.

    • PieInTheSky

      I have 2 home scales which show different values

      • CPRM

        One is in Commie Units and one is in Freedom Units?

    • CPRM

      I would just assume their scale is located in a gravity well.

    • Florida Man

      It doesn’t matter the accuracy as long as it’s precise. You’re looking for trends. Also, throw your scale away. Focus on hitting achievable goals not results.

      • UnCivilServant

        I record data. If I know that data is wrong, I get irked.

      • Nephilium

        Trend lines are more important then single data points.

      • UnCivilServant

        If the data is wrong, you can’t trust the trend.

      • CPRM

        +1 My seamstress let my pants out 3 inches, I must be losing weight!

      • Trolleric the Goth

        if it’s precise but inaccurate, you can.

      • UnCivilServant

        Prove precision, I can’t.

      • Florida Man

        Prove precision:

        You take a know verified weight and place it on your scale 10 times a day for a month and get the same result every time, but not the verified number.

      • Caput Lupinum

        Prove precision, I can’t.

        Take several objects of different, but known, weight, and see what the scale retorts their weight as. If the error is consistent between the weights, then the scale is precise, though inaccurate.

      • Trolleric the Goth

        put a constant weight on the scale (doesn’t have to be a known weight, just can’t change) multiple times and see if the readings are the same.

      • Trolleric the Goth

        this question was clearly catnip for engineers

      • UnCivilServant

        A lot of you are assuming I can know the weight of an object when my only scale is the measuring device being questioned.

      • kinnath

        “precise” tells you the ratio of error in reading the scale to the weight of the thing you are trying to weigh. Weighing a steak to the nearest ounce is far less precise than weighing a steer to the nearest pound.

        Accuracy is how close the measured weight is to the actual weight.

        As long as the error is consistent along the full range of the scale, accuracy errors have little impact on trends (rate of change between measurements) because the error gets subtracted out.

      • UnCivilServant

        I was going to complement your metajoke.

      • Rhywun

        Check the thermostat.

      • Florida Man

        Weight is a poor indicator of health. Are you able to walk further without getting winded? Are your clothes loser? Then the number on the scale doesn’t matter. I’m 20 pounds heavier than when I was dieting to lose weight, but nearly 100 percent of that is muscle so I don’t care.

      • Tundra

        Tape measurements are better. Get your waist down to less than 50% of your height and you will be in a good place.

      • UnCivilServant

        Nobody’s that skinny.

        😛

      • whiz

        Fake news! My height is 78″ and waist 34″. Been that way for 40 years.

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t believe you. Nobody’s height stays the same for that long.

      • whiz

        LOL, OK, I fibbed, closer to 77″ now.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Wow, 6’5″? You must resemble a young John Cleese. Would you be a lamb and reach this can on the top shelf for me? 😉

      • whiz

        I get that a lot.

    • UnCivilServant

      Yes, I am just giving you all a hard time.

      I’m not going to do anything silly.

  10. Ownbestenemy

    Fun! Last spontaneously taken trip we took was off a maintenance road off the Colorado river above Lake Mojave. Beautiful water temp, t-storms rolled in late at night about 2-3 miles away. Coyotes howling and our dogs…all 20lbs of them growling back.

    • CPRM

      Coyotes howling

      Check out this guy who thinks Mexican people smugglers are wolf-men! LOL!

      • UnCivilServant

        Ignoring the visible photoshop seams, that would either have to be one huge coyote or one tiny child.

      • commodious spittoon

        ¿Porque no los dos?

      • UnCivilServant

        DOS does not support lost Pork.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Andale! Andale!

    • R C Dean

      With our dogs, the Big Dumb One just ignores coyotes, which is odd because he’s the male. The Little Fat One flies into a homicidal rage when she hears coyotes which is both odd because she’s female, and unfortunate because she takes it out on her brother.

      And, of course, we have a fair number of coyotes around our house. I think there are two packs, and they both seem to be on a rotation through their ranges. They disappear for months, and then show up for a few weeks.

      I remain convinced that one pack, at least, has some Mexican wolf in them. They are huge, for coyotes, and heavy-bodied.

  11. KOVIDKristen

    That’s a whirlwind!

    Boy, do I have some barfing stories…

    • Gustave Lytton

      I don’t remember all of mine.

      • Lazer

        Me neither.

  12. Tundra

    Sounds like nearly a good trip, Lazer!

    Can’t be drinking like that at your age, boyo!

    I love the mountains. Thanks for sharing your trip with us!

    • Lazer

      It was, we need another one soon. Thanks

    • Lazer

      And true on the age, I’m lightening the load after that experience. Damn it. Oh well , as they say “ growing old ain’t for the weak!”

  13. Trials and Trippelations

    Sounds like fun minis the oopsies with the drinking

  14. leon

    Those pictures look beatuful. Looks like we may have snow this weekend. If not, i need to try to get one last excursion into the mountains.

    • Tundra

      Utah?

      • leon

        Yes. It’ will proably be just rain, but it’s gotten significantly colder over the past week.

      • Bill (Door) Baggins (a Skellington)

        My phone showed that yesterday was 22° colder than Wednesday. Temp is dropping quick. I’m not looking forward to the snow we will likely have in the frozen tundra of Cache valley.

      • leon

        Oh yeah. Up there y’all always get too cold. At least we havn’t had a record breaking cold snap like we did last October.

      • Bill (Door) Baggins (a Skellington)

        My phone showed that yesterday was 22° colder than Wednesday. Temp is dropping quick. I’m not looking forward to the snow we will likely have in the frozen tundra of Cache valley.

      • PieInTheSky

        you have a thing for double posts.

  15. PieInTheSky

    I have purchased a German beer. It is not bad really.

    https://www.tilmansbiere.de/en/kulturator.html

    two things . silly name der fuchs hat

    second 7% is still a bit high abv for beer.

    Also from the page

    True to the motto: “Drinking for world peace”, this pale bock is a collaborative effort between the philanthropic foundation “Kulturator” from Munich and Tilmans Biere.

    This strong lager (bock) is brewed with regional malts, and – in the spirit of the craft beer movement – refined with aroma hops from Hallertau.

    On top of that, a good part of the profits is poured back in to the Kulturator Foundation, which will distribute the money to social projects. Info about the foundation at: http://www.kulturator.de
    Flavor: Spicy, grainy, fruity
    Aroma: Bold, lemony, malty
    Original Gravity: 17,1 °P Hops: Mittelfrüh, Region Hallertau, Bavaria, D

    does anyone really care what hops go in? or about world peace or gravity? It’s a beer. Damn hipsters.

    • kinnath

      Malt? Yes
      Hops? Yes
      Starting Gravity? Yes
      Final Gravity? Yes

      World Peace? Only if you are wearing a swimsuit and competing for a tiara.

    • PieInTheSky

      I tried to copy less text from the page but somehow it copied more automatically

    • commodious spittoon

      Der Fuchs hat? Was hat der Fuchs gemacht?

      • PieInTheSky

        I don’t know what you said but I don;t like the way you said it

      • commodious spittoon

        EINS ZWEI DREI VIER

        Erwähne nicht den Krieg!

      • PieInTheSky

        can you actually speak German?

      • commodious spittoon

        Nur ein Bisschen, und nicht so viel. Mostly I supplement or double check with Google.

      • commodious spittoon

        “Du bist ein schildkrote affe schlampe” was a common exchange between my buddies back in high school. So if I’m ever stranded in a German pub and nobody speaks English, I could probably get myself beaten up.

      • PieInTheSky

        I am to lazy to google translate that so I will get back at ya with the generic so is your wife/mom/sister etc

      • mikey

        This will do it.
        “Ich moechte dein Vater zu sein, aber der Hund war schneller.”

        “Der Hund war schneller.” will do .

      • commodious spittoon

        LOL

    • Nephilium

      Yes. Different hops have different flavors and uses. The original gravity of the beer will help to give an idea of the body, and allows you to figure out the final gravity or ABV (if one of those isn’t included on the label).

    • Fatty Bolger

      7% isn’t high for a bock.

    • kinnath

      7% ABV is pretty much the starting point for the beers that I brew.

      I have made lower ABV Berliner Weisse, but that is a rare thing for me.

      • PieInTheSky

        you could now sell your beer in Swedish supermarkets.

      • PieInTheSky

        not sell damnit

      • Nephilium

        Most of mine clock in around 6%, but I’ve got a mild and a nut brown that I’m happy with that both clock in under 5%.

      • robc

        My nut brown is about 5.5%, that is my sweet spot. I have done as low as 3.5% and as high as 11%.

    • robc

      ends in ator, that makes it a doppelbock. It better be 7%,.

      I have some Salvator in my beer fridge. It is the original doppelbock and why the others usually end with -ator.

      • robc

        I didnt realize it was gone. I rarely buy a Pils. Every now and again, I will try one on tap somewhere. It is probably about 4th or so on my list of German pale lager styles.

        Zoigl, Kellerbier, Helles, Zwickl. I guess 5th.

      • robc

        Technically, I have never had a zoigl. I have planned a zoigling adventure in the upper palatinate someday. Will probably hop across the border into Czech Republic while I am there.

        I have brewed them based on the best evidence I can find, but it technically isn’t a zoigl because it wasn’t made in a community brewhouse.

  16. Ownbestenemy

    Ugh off to the DMV so my son can get his learner permit. The amount of information they demand is funny. Proof of citizenship? Two forms for address…school attendance…its a learners permit for fucks sake and he is almost 16.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Welcome to the wonderful world of REALID, where it takes as much documentation to get a drivers license as it does a passport.

      • leon

        Yup. You have to provide a whole slew of info to get an ID, which of course you also need that ID if you want to exercise your right to purchase a firearm.

        But to have the privlege of voting, nah we just let anyone do that.

      • kinnath

        My wife tried to get a REALID driver’s license when she renewed in the fall. She has a birth certification (maiden name) and an expired passport (married name) with her old driver’s license (also married name).

        Can’t do it. Must provide a legal document showing the legal name change from maiden name to married name. Marriage license will do. Except, it’s been 44 years. No fucking clue where that might be.

        It looks like the plan will be to renew the passport and use that as proof of US citizenship.

      • leon

        Can’t do it. Must provide a legal document showing the legal name change from maiden name to married name. Marriage license will do. Except, it’s been 44 years. No fucking clue where that might be.

        How do you know you’re even married to her? what if it was an elaborate hoax?

      • RAHeinlein

        Stop spreading conspiracy theories, Leonid.

      • kinnath

        44 years of filing joint returns with the feds. If we’re not married, I got some explaining to do.

      • Ted S.

        Is your name Lucy?

      • Gender Traitor

        Pity the poor woman who’s been married twice and changed names both times.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        My wife’s experience with DMV/REALID was that they put her thru the wringer while being impatient and rude, and right next to her they were bending over backwards to assist someone with getting their driver’s license for undocumented immigrants.

        She was not pleased.

      • kbolino

        There is only one time I have felt much sympathy for Obama and that was over the birth certificate bullshit. Granted, he played it up to some extent for political advantage. But to this day I have a DC birth certificate that looks more “fake” than anything Obama ever presented, and there’s no “full form” sitting in my parent’s basement. It’s half a page, high gloss, with stable marks and other dimples, and looks like it was typewritten with a 1940s Remington. When I had to get REAL ID, the MVA clerk didn’t want to accept it until but thankfully her superior recognized it as legit.

      • R C Dean

        What I recall from the Obama birth certificate controversy is:

        (1) They kept the original locked up and wouldn’t let anybody look at it.
        (2) The first .pdf they released was hinky as shit, with all kinds of layers and odd things about it. After that got torn apart online, they released another one (probably a paper print of the first one that they scanned).

        Now, maybe that was all part of a Nefarious Scheme to keep the birthers in a froth. But it was handled in a way that just begged for you to be skeptical as hell.

        I always preferred the technical argument that, under the laws at the time, he didn’t qualify. But I can’t recall the details. I think it turned on his mother’s age and time out of the country. But it was all just in fun; even if there was absolutely bullet-proof evidence he wasn’t a natural born US citizen, there was no way he was leaving office (and, indeed, no mechanism to remove him).

      • Fatty Bolger

        I’m far more curious about his wedding ring, which he apparently already owned and wore all the time at Harvard. I don’t think it’s proof that he’s a secret muslim or whatever, but there must be some sort of weird story behind that.

      • R C Dean

        It looks like the plan will be to renew the passport and use that as proof of US citizenship.

        Prolly have to show a RealID to renew an expired passport.

      • kinnath

        Old passport (within a certain time limit), plus birth certificate, plus DL. I think.

      • ElspethFlashman

        I just renewed an expired passport and it was hella easy.

      • Gustave Lytton

        You can get sealed copies of the marriage license from either the county or state (depending on how they handle those records) where you got married.

      • kinnath

        Yes, we need to to this.

        This all happened at the beginning of the COVID lockdown. So we haven’t chased that down yet.

  17. leon

    So some polls i’ve seen are saying people thought Biden won the Debate. From you guys i was not expecting that. So I guess this is just the country people want.

    • UnCivilServant

      What did we tell you about polls?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Grease them first?

      • leon

        stay off them?

      • The Other Kevin

        They make the best pierogis?

      • Nephilium

        /golf clap

    • kinnath

      Lies, damned lies, and statistics

  18. leon

    I guess the FBI wanted to interview Tony Bobulinski this morning. I hope he brought a lawyer. Or else he’s screwed.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      You’d have to be retarded to not bring an attorney other than Sydney Powell or equivalent.

      The DNC probably offered to provide him with legal counsel.

    • Florida Man

      Yeah, he really needs a dead man’s switch and a bulletproof lawyer, hopefully paid for by the GOP.

      • kbolino

        Why would you want a lawyer whose pay comes from people who’d be perfectly content if this story got buried?

    • The Other Kevin

      I thought that link had “topless” in it, and I got excited.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        *insert Sugarfree here*

    • R C Dean

      Neither number sounds right to me.

      I don’t think McSally is leading, and I think/hope Trump is leading by more than that. He beat Hillary by 3.5% here. If he’s coughed up 2/3 of his advantage from 2016, he’s toast.

      • robc

        Speaking of which, isn’t about time for Paddy Power to pay off any bets on Biden?

  19. Rebel Scum

    Awwww shit.

    His statement is a big middle finger to the Bidens. Also, Tony Bobulinski did not kill himself.

    • R C Dean

      I really didn’t see a big middle finger to the Bidens in Part II of Lazer’s Hippy Trip.

      • leon

        Sorry, but this press conference reminds me of the one that Avennati did and no one was there.

    • leon

      This is good and all but Tony Bobulinski is unverified

      / CNN, NPR, etc

  20. UnCivilServant

    Does it count as virtue signalling when no one who sees it will even know there’s a message?

    • leon

      What matters is what is in you heart.

      • R C Dean

        What’s in my heart is a small portion of my blood supply. Honestly, while I am quite attached to my blood supply, I’m not sure that really matters all that much.

      • leon

        Are you and UCS one and the same?

      • Ted S.

        Is RC Dean wearing his posting gloves?

  21. limey

    Hey Lazer, I’m really enjoying your hippy trip tale.

    +1 long-haired country boy!

  22. Chipwooder

    The Pennsylvania Supreme Court is all-in on vote fraud

    Los Angeles Times
    @latimes
    Ballots can’t be tossed for mismatched signatures, Pennsylvania Supreme Court says
    Pennsylvania Supreme Court says ballots can’t be rejected when a voter’s signature doesn’t match the signature on their registration form.
    latimes.com
    3:33 PM · Oct 23, 2020

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      That’s nuts…

    • leon

      Who needs election integrity when you have Bad Orange Man to get rid of.

  23. Ted S.

    Regarding masks, today was the first time I was harangued by a random drunk asshole (actually, an older lady more than six feet from me at the supermarket) to pull up my mask. I wanted to tell her to mind her fucking business, but I didn’t want to end up in the news.

    • leon

      RDA usually just says “Xenu’s Comin'”

    • leon

      Can’t Believe the WSJ would publish unverifiable stories.