Wednesday Afternoon Sugarlinks: Ass-to-Ass Edition

by | Oct 21, 2020 | Daily Links | 317 comments

We Finally Know What a Dinosaur’s Butthole Looks Like

Now I finally have a clearer view, thanks to a fossil of a horned dinosaur called Psittacosaurus, described in a paper online earlier this month. These dinosaurs, which lived over 100 million years ago in what’s now northeastern China, were odd little creatures. While belonging to the same branch of the dinosaur family tree as Triceratops, these Labrador retriever–size dinos walked around on two legs and had beaks like those of parrots, cheeks that were each adorned with a flared horn, and, jutting from the tail, a spray of featherlike bristles. Now we also know that they had buttholes like those of crocodiles.

Fact: Crocodile Butthole was the worst favor of Four Loko


It really is Hope Hicks’ birthday today. She said all she wanted was dick pics and quote “only meaty ones.”


File Under: Cool story, bro. But the tard fight in the comments is entertaining in a “watching human history decay into maggots and shit” sort of way.

https://twitter.com/ChanelRion/status/1318931828481400833

Chanel Rion OAN
@ChanelRion

UPDATE: Multiple

reporters have now viewed the emails, photos, and videos on the #HunterBiden hard drive. We can confirm: There appear to be not one but several images of a minor that justify immediate attention. We have reason to believe the minor is a US citizen.


And, finally, in an update to last week’s Cardi B mutilated nipple news, leaked photos of Cardi B’s butthole have appeared on the internet. She has a quite quotidian exit chute. I expected to at least be prolapsed or bedazzled.

I look so you don’t have to.


About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

317 Comments

  1. Brochettaward

    He who Firsts First laughs last.

  2. Count Potato

    “these Labrador retriever–size dinos walked around on two legs and had beaks like those of parrots, cheeks that were each adorned with a flared horn, and, jutting from the tail, a spray of featherlike bristles”

    Now you are just making shit up.

    • zwak

      So, they danced for Madonna?

    • Cliche Bandit

      I think he is implying that Cardi B is a dinosaur…or that Dinosaurs had WAP…not sure which.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Either welding people in their houses worked or the CCP is flat out lying. Either way I’ll stay here, thank you very much.

      • Ted S.

        Can we weld all the journalists in their houses?

    • Cancelled

      85 years ago she’d have been one of the people praising the amazing German old age pensions and public health campaigns. Hopefully a century from now there will still be someplace free enough that the intelligentsia can twist themselves around to similar apologetics for tyranny.

    • Tonio

      Tom Friedman has a chubby.

    • KOVIDKristen

      By god, that ratio!!

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Somalia.

    • kbolino

      That a British reporter thinks the only two countries in the world are China and the U.S. is kind of funny. So much for that better knowledge of geography that Brits have.

    • R C Dean

      What the Brit twit doesn’t grok is that China has a lot of things under control that America doesn’t, and that’s why America is a better place to live.

    • Grumbletarian

      North Korea has had zero reported cases and zero reported deaths. She ought to move there, they have this virus deal under even better control than CHina.

  3. Florida Man

    I can see the twitter link. That’s probably for the best. Happy Hump Day, Sugga.

    • Florida Man

      Can’t see. Also can’t type.

    • UnCivilServant

      Twitter stopped working on my computer again.

      I don’t miss it.

    • SugarFree

      I can see the link, but not the tweet itself. Not sure what is happening here.

      • Count Potato

        “UPDATE: Multiple @OANN
        reporters have now viewed the emails, photos, and videos on the #HunterBiden hard drive.

        We can confirm:

        There appear to be not one but several images of a minor that justify immediate attention.

        We have reason to believe the minor is a US citizen.”

      • Ted S.

        Multiple @OANN reporters about to get arrested on child porn charges….

  4. juris imprudent

    Dinosaur Butthole will be the name of my next band.

      • juris imprudent

        It almost wrecked ’em.

      • db

        T Wrex and the Bottom Dwellers

    • The Other Kevin

      Something tells me he didn’t even vote for himself.

    • Brochettaward

      He’s lying about 2016. He wrote himself in.

    • leon

      Fuckin Massachusets Carpet Bagger.

      Mike Lee needs to beat the shit out of him.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      *swoon*
      He’s so dignified and his smarmy and calculated sense of ethical self importance makes me all tingly in my nether regions. Thank God Obama beat that fucker.

    • Florida Man

      Did they ask if Mitt regrets his decision to vote yes on impeachment now that it turns out Trump was right and Biden was using his influence to enrich his crack head son?

    • R C Dean

      Didn’t vote for him, but still asked him for a job when he won.

      So principle. Much brave.

    • Brochettaward

      1. The girl clearly does not look 15 and was pretending to be a reporter. Giuliani is stupid, but at his age I guess it’s best to take any risk for a chance at a fling with a hot piece of ass.
      2. “He’s gone as far to claim, without evidence, that he’s in possession of raunchy photos and videos involving Hunter Biden and underage girls.” – The actual pictures themselves are of course not evidence.

    • Florida Man

      I keep getting server not found errors. The Matrix has me, boys!

    • PBRstreetgang

      Guiliani is definitely stupid. No matter how old she looks, as soon as she says she’s 15 he’d better assume she is.

      • Brochettaward

        She didn’t claim to be 15. She presented herself as a foreign reporter of age, and then when they got him into the hotel room Cohen as Borat comes running out saying that’s his 15 year old daughter and that she’s too old for him.

        He was engaging in perfectly legal sleaze.

      • Florida Man

        As a goof I watched “Boo: a madea halloween” there is a scene when some feats boys find out some girls at the party are 17. They flee like their life depended on it. I chuckled and thought this was a great PSA.

      • Gadfly

        I chuckled and thought this was a great PSA.

        Although it would be a bit misleading, as 17 is perfectly legal most places. Still, better safe than sorry, of course.

    • DEG

      I’ll go out on a limb here and say this will be bigger news than whatever is on Hunter Biden’s laptop.

      • Apples and Knives

        Yep.

      • C. Anacreon

        Just checked online — every mainstream news site is leading with ‘Giuliani inappropriate with young woman’

        Zero mention of Hunter Biden or the laptop — if you dig really deep you can find a several day-old reference still attributing everything about the laptop to ‘Russian disinformation’

        Also, many sites saying “Biden leading Trump polling in double digits”, no doubt hoping to discourage Trump voters from going to the polls

        It would be more amusing if so many people I know weren’t so ignorant and could actually see what’s going on

      • R C Dean

        every mainstream news site is leading with ‘Giuliani inappropriate with young woman’

        Incredible. Another pol punked by Borat, and that’s the lead story?

        TMITE.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        The article that I read basically said that it was deceptively edited to look bad when he was really trying to get his mic wire out of his pants. I’ll not be watching the movie to find out. If he’s a creep, I hope he crawls back into whatever hole he was hiding in pre Trump

      • Florida Man

        I don’t see how skewing the poll helps Biden. If Trump is down, then every Trump voter needs to show up.

      • Mad Scientist

        Moreover, if Biden is up, then any given Biden voter doesn’t need to bother.

      • C. Anacreon

        Does anyone remember “Mr Smith Goes To Washington” where they’ve doctored all kinds of conspiracy evidence against Jimmy Stewart’s Senator Smith, and he goes on an hours-long filibuster hoping the truth will come out while he talks? And any newspaper or radio that tries to support him is getting closed down by thugs? And then the boy scouts who support Mr. Smith decide to print their own newspaper with the truth on it, and they’re out delivering it with their red wagons, but the thugs even come and rough the little kids up?

        I kind of feel like we’re in that scene right now with the Hunter Biden stuff. The regular media is absolutely determined not to let anything bad about Joe Biden to get a second of airtime. All we can hope for now is that Biden pulls a Claude Rains’ senator character from the movie, and falls down during the debate on Thursday, sobbing ‘it’s true, it’s true, everything he’s saying is true!”

      • Cancelled

        Unfortunately that only works if you are the plucky, naive but honest, progressive politician. If you are the evil shitlord promoting liberty and the free market virtual enslavement of the poor by forcing them to work for a living, your opponents know that even if their tactics would make Heinrich Himmler gag are questionable, the goal of socialist utopia is worth the minor sacrifice of your honor.

    • Apples and Knives

      But he can’t fail.

      • Tundra

        Finally.

        Thank you.

    • Sean

      It was Parker Lewis who couldn’t lose.

    • Rhywun

      He also claims that the clip is “doctored” (it’s not)

      (I asserted without evidence)

  5. Count Potato

    Well, everyone acts like the “Pizzagate” thing is crazy talk, like a chemical cause male pair-bonding among tree frogs, but we know people who are pedophiles exist, and we know people who are rich and powerful exist, so why not the both?

    • Brochettaward

      I don’t know if they were talking about pedophilia in those emails, but they were talking in code. Which raises questions.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        It was drugs.

    • leon

      I’m sorry, but you are going to be denounced as an evil conspiracy theorist. Our leaders are only the best people. Except the republicans.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      Pizzagate probably is crazy talk. But you are right that there are some sickos out there and some are probably pretty high up. Heck Marc Dutroux seems to have had some help with his crimes albeit on a different continent. And this stuff would be a gold mine for intelligence agencies foreign and domestic.

    • Cy

      I don’t think Pizzagate is a thing, but after the recent bout of alphabet agencies looking the other way pretty much everywhere; to claim it couldn’t happen is absurd.

  6. Pope Jimbo

    So even 100M years ago China was asshole!?

  7. limey

    How similar is Card B’s bunghole to the dinosaur variety?

    • leon

      94% of the DNA is the same, or something. So say the evolutionary biologists.

    • SugarFree

      Deep structures were similar but I’m not a trained strippertologist.

      • db

        It’s gonna take some strenuous analysis.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Did you happen to sleep at a Holiday Inn?

        It’s good enough for me.

    • Spudalicious

      Based on the nipples, I don’t want to know.

  8. DEG

    Paleontologists are still perplexed by how dinosaurs mated with those big, thick tails in the way. Did they have to contort into difficult positions to align their butts, or did males have the necessary equipment to bridge the gap?

    More than a few euphemisms in that article.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Huh. Alligators really go at it way harder. Where do you think the term “knocking boots” came from?

    • Florida Man

      Can’t they just watch kangaroos screw to figure it out?

    • Mad Scientist

      Duck-like corkscrew dicks.

    • SugarFree

      I assume missionary with a lot of bellowing.

    • juris imprudent

      Paleontologists may never be able to decode that mystery.

      • DEG

        Nice

  9. Playa Manhattan

    “Now we also know that they had buttholes like those of crocodiles.”

    Am I not supposed to need to look that up?

    • UnCivilServant

      How narrow was your education?

      • Pope Jimbo

        He probably never even heard of the old Egyptian Riddle of the Sphinxter.

      • db

        What door rests on the Moon, is a Star, but never sees the light of the Sun?

      • Ozymandias

        ^^^Underrated comment right there.

      • Pope Jimbo

        *blushes and scuffs dirt with the toe of my shoe while mumbling thanks to Mrs. Caron my 3rd grade teacher*

    • Walford

      It is my policy to stay away from both ends of a crocodile.

    • Gadfly

      Am I not supposed to need to look that up?

      Well, it was described in the article:

      Crocodiles and alligators, which are the closest living cousins of dinosaurs, have cloacae that are horizontal slits.

      • Mad Scientist

        Yet more proof that journalists have no fucking clue what they’re talking about.

  10. grrizzly

    Suddenly a sheep has an independent thought.

    I’ve been pro-facemask since day one. But I’m starting to think it’s time for us pro-maskers to start looking at the numbers, and confront the fact that we may have been completely wrong. If masks were designed to stop transmission, they’ve failed:
    Like, where is the actual evidence that facemasks have had any impact whatever? A fully-masked up Europe is seeing record numbers of cases. About the only argument left is that without masks, it would be worse. But that’s just supposition, isn’t it?

    https://gript.ie/real-talk-have-facemasks-failed/

    • DEG

      The True Believers In The Magic Of Masks will just blame folks like us that don’t wear masks.

      • db

        The reason Gun Control doesn’t work in New York/Illinois/Massachussetts/California is all those neighboring states that don’t have “sensible” laws.

      • Cy

        Ah yes; If everyone goes full retard, we won’t wont look so retarded!

    • mexican sharpshooter

      He’ll have a black bag thrown over his head shortly.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Masks are not being worn in the largest area of spread. Private homes. They are designed to prevent spread in public situations where people can't always stay 2 metres from each other. So your supposition is not based on any sort of fact.— Gerry McGuinness (@GerryMcGuinness) October 20, 2020

      Masks would work if they were fused to our faces!

      • juris imprudent

        And no taking them off – ever.

      • R C Dean

        Point missed. Which was that wearing masks in public, as per policy, appears to have failed.

        If the reason is that you are more likely to catch it at home, you still have to admit that wearing masks in public has failed. You then have two options: demand that people wear masks even when at home, or call off the failed current policy.

      • leon

        ^^^ The guy’s counter point is to completely conced the original argument. Masks in Public don’t work because they don’t target the most likely spread. Masks in private is unenforcable.

        Or at least if they tried to enforce it i’d hope you’d see lightposts decorated with politicians

      • Ownbestenemy

        China says hold my beer while I bolt your door shut.

      • DEG

        Mandating masks at home it is.

        Our “betters” won’t admit they are wrong.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Do I even want to know how many people would read that and think “yup. We better extend the mask mandate to inside people’s homes too”?

      • slumbrew

        Way too many, including just about everyone in a position of power.

    • EvilSheldon

      A tiny fragment of brain appears to have been lodged in his skull…

    • Chafed

      Kudos to that guy for at least being will to examine the evidence and realizing it contradicts his beliefs.

    • slumbrew

      A “casedemic” is an epidemic that can only be identified by mass testing, because cases are so mild that people don’t know they have a virus.

      That’s a great neologism.

  11. KOVIDKristen

    I look so you don’t have because I want to.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Either way, this is a free service provided by Sugarfree.

      • Mad Scientist

        That’s a $600 per year savings!

  12. Pope Jimbo

    I look forward to seeing how the MSM will squelch this new front in the Biden play for pay scandal.

    Some reporters using access to the gmail account of the convicted business partner of Hunter Biden have made a pretty compelling case that Hunter and his pals sold access to Joe and other Obama administration officials. In addition to the email, they have visitor logs to the Whitehouse, stories by the Chinese themselves and other stuff. In a sane world, the Dems would be scrambling to figure out how to replace Biden on the ticket right now.

    Based on Cooney’s emails, the authors report that in November 2011, Hunter Biden’s business associates arranged meetings at the Obama White House for a delegation of the “China Entrepreneur Club.” Established in 2006, the CEC is led by high officials of the Chinese Communist Party, some government officials (including diplomats), and billionaire business executives with close ties to the regime.

    This visit to the White House is said to have included a meeting with then–Vice President Biden. In discussions among themselves, Hunter Biden’s associates reportedly made it clear that they anticipated cashing in on business prospects that were expected to arise from providing the Chinese contingent with high-level access to the Obama administration.

    • Brochettaward

      All the way back in 1996 the Democrats (the DNC and Clintons) were caught taking donations from the Chinese. Nothing else happened. Some people actually went to jail, though of course those not too big to fail.

      The media ignoring shit like this is, sadly, nothing new.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Based on interviews with Cooney, the emails, and a review of the White House visitor logs, Schweizer and Bruner relate that the delegation was logged in as guests of Jeff Zients, the deputy director of Obama’s Office of Management and Budget. The Chinese visitors got high-level access, including a personal meeting with Vice President Biden. According to the authors, this was an “off-the-books” meeting, not recorded in the official White House logs. It was later memorialized in a CEC publication (here, at page 53) by CEC Secretary General, Maggie Cheng. The CEC’s anticipated itinerary for the U.S. trip also indicates meetings at the Commerce Department with Secretary John Bryson, and at the State Department with Robert Hormats, the under secretary for Economic, Energy, and Agricultural Affairs.

      Those crafty Russians! It is amazing that they were able to get a Chinese publication to print a story 9 years ago that would be used by their US assets to “prove” that Hunter was selling access.

    • creech

      I wonder what kind of shit storm we’d be seeing if this was Eric Trump’s e-mails and the Big Guy was you know who.

      • juris imprudent

        You ever sit under an elephant’s ass when it had a bad case of diarrhea?

        Neither have I and I never intend to, but if you do, you should definitely record the experience.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Gene Spafford has seen that

        “Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea – massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it.”

        Back when the internet seemed like a good idea.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      China Entrepreneur Club

      That sounds way too much like Fat Tony’s “Legitimate Businessman’s Club”

    • Tulip

      When will Google nuke the account?

      • Pope Jimbo

        Too late to nuke the account. I suspect they will sue the reporters for violating the TOS. Sure the guy gave you written permission to access his account and the password, but if you read the fine print, you would see that Google is the real owner of that data and it never consented.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      Hey, look over there! Is that Toobin whipping it out? Hey, buddy. Stop doing that!

  13. The Other Kevin

    This AM Lynx I was mildly freaking out about an increase in covid cases and deaths in Indiana, but in the governor’s press conference it sounds like that is mainly in nursing homes. He is sending emergency staffing and the national guard to help in long term facilities.

    • Tonio

      To enforce a true quarantine (things go in, nothing goes out), or to provide additional trained medical personnel?

      • SugarFree

        They’ve promised the families the bullets will not appear on their bill.

      • KOVIDKristen

        Well, yeah, cause they can’t afford the ammo on top of the hospice bill. Least we could do.

    • The Other Kevin

      Sounds like medical personnel to assist in testing and to enforce best practices, and focusing on stopping outbreaks.

      • R C Dean

        That’s actually . . . not terrible.

      • The Other Kevin

        I don’t think so either. In the same news conference, he says he’s trying to be more targeted and trying to avoid an across the board lockdown. Apparently the Libertarian challenger has gotten his attention.

    • Brochettaward

      Election interference isn’t really a thing. Or if it is, it’s something everyone engages in and it’s actually a natural part of democracy. Even when it comes to foreign players. There are certain things like laws that restrict things.

      But like everything Russia is accused of in 2016 outside their supposed hacking of Podesta and the DNC? That’s just legal shit done by foreigners. A Russian troll farm posting memes on social media is protected speech. And Twitter as a free company can engage in what ever biased bullshit it wants. It’s on voters to make up their own minds and people who whine of interference are basically saying that you can’t actually trust voters to sift through information.

      • kbolino

        I agree with this, and my only qualm is that Twitter the company should just drop the charade and say “we support Joe Biden” and Twitter the platform should stop pretending to be politically neutral. They have every right to exercise what bias and agenda they wish, the only responsibility they owe to anyone is a modicum of honesty about it.

      • Pope Jimbo

        That might be the one unforgivable sin that Twitter could commit in the eyes of their users.

        How many twitter blue checks would be shocked (SHOCKED) to find out that the platform that they’ve been using is actually totally biased? I think a lot of their self-worth is built on the idea that Twitter is totes neutral and the reason the results seem to skew so far to the Left is because that is what the smart people think and those ideas will win out. It wouldn’t be healthy for them to discover that the reason they are winning is because the Boss rigged the game for them.

      • R C Dean

        And, although this will require statutory reform, Twitter and Facebook should be treated like publishers, not platforms, if they are going to act like publishers, not platforms, by determining what will or will not appear on their site based on editorial standards. They are clearly not platforms as envisioned when the CDA was passed. They exercise far too much control over content, and not on narrow grounds (legality, copyright issues, that kind of thing). They have a special immunity, but they aren’t doing what got them that immunity. Take it away, unless they truly start operating as open platforms again.

        Their choice. If they think exercising editorial control will be more profitable even with exposure for defamation, go for it. Otherwise, stop pretending to be an open platform while controlling the content you “publish”.

      • kbolino

        Well, by that standard, this here website is a “publisher” who should apparently bear liability for all potentially defamatory content posted here. I don’t understand why Twitter and Facebook have to be singled out while Democratic Underground or InstaPundit or any of a thousand other websites get to curate and moderate content according to bias and agenda while remaining immune to liability for user-generated content.

        They should be held liable for their own statements and the contradiction between those statements and their actions, but not more.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I’m more worried about any “fixes” to the law to bring Facebook and Twitter to heel than I am about their outsized influence.

        It is frustrating to see jerks control so much of the communication market, but I’m pretty sure any reforms would pretty much leave them alone and instead be used against other platforms that allow wrongthink to happen.

        In other words, FB and Twitter could afford to pay off the pols and regulators, but Glibs would be shut down after the first installment of Joe-Mala.

      • R C Dean

        You and kbo make excellent points. Still, its frustrating to see a legal privilege (immunity from liability) abused the way it is.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Never mind that 230 was initially meant for hosts and ISPs and not these managed platforms.

    • The Hyperbole

      just leave the composer blank and hit the retweet button to retweet like you normally would.

      OMG, those fucking bastards!!! I have to leave something blank and then hit a button I use to only have to hit a button, no leaving things blank involved. That’s it you guys are right, these big tech companies have far too much power, burn them down!!! Leave something blank and then hit retweet?!? mother fuckers!!!!

  14. Count Potato

    “Four Newborns in Adelaide have died after being denied lifesaving heart surgery because it wasn’t available in Adelaide, and they couldn’t be transferred interstate because of travel restrictions”

    https://twitter.com/9NewsAUS/status/1318632532716457986

    • Brochettaward

      But Grandma in her assisted living facility got to live an extra week.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      *rage building*

    • Pope Jimbo

      Who the fuck doesn’t put the baby in an ambulance and drive the kid to wherever it is that they can get the treatment that they need?

      “Sorry mate. There is a travel ban and that baby is just going to have to die”
      “OK”

      • R C Dean

        “Well, then he isn’t going to die alone, capisce?”

      • Pope Jimbo

        Too bad mate! We took your guns away a couple years ago.

        Throw another shrimpy baby on the barbie!

      • Nephilium

        They live in a land where everything is toxic, poisonous, or venomous. Vengeance… uhm… vengeance finds a way.

      • db

        So not a Yes song.

      • creech

        “This is a knife.”

  15. Bill (Door) Baggins (a Skellington)

    So with all of this #MeToobin and the possible pedophilia within the Hunter Biden stuff, I was thinking about some of the comments I’ve seen, and what David Smith talked about in his podcast yesterday, of normalizing what would have been seen as sexually deviant in the not-so-distant past. It got me thinking of Brave New World and Huxley’s hypothesis that what people love would ruin them (read: us) as a people. It is telling that heads aren’t rolling. If as everything is revealed there isn’t outrage, I might need to take some Soma, because Huxley was right.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      When you replace the eventual reward or punishment of Heaven and Hell with earthly rewards and punishments a lot of people are going to crawl into the slime. Everybody needs to start going back to church.

      • Bill (Door) Baggins (a Skellington)

        I’m religious and agree, but I can also see why people would be areligious or have other belief systems. I have a hard time getting how people can have such a flimsy moral code that they would toss everything aside so wantonly.

        Oh wait, I get it: Principals, not principles.

    • Ayn Random Variation

      I hate when people classify sex/attraction with a 15 year old as pedophilia.
      It’s illegal but if they look like a woman and not a child there should be a different word.

      • kbolino
      • Bill (Door) Baggins (a Skellington)

        I concede that one to you. Development and “maturity” occur at different ages in different people. There could be a better classification or term, I was just going with the commonly used one.

        Also, I have never seen Borat and don’t see the appeal of Cohen-Baron and his schtick.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        in a different context, 15 would be considered young adults. doesn’t make it any less creepy when 40 year olds creep on them.

        that said, you’re right that it’s a completely different situation when they’re 8 than when theyre 15.

  16. Certified Public Asshat

    A Danish newspaper reports the mask study has been censored (the headline reads: Does a mask work? Top journals refuse to print the Danish answer.) pic.twitter.com/Tu7ANUEDYZ— Alex Berenson (@AlexBerenson) October 21, 2020

    Big Mask doesn’t want you to stop buying masks.

    • slumbrew

      That’s a heartwarming story.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      Selling cocaine shouldn’t be illegal in the first place.

  17. Enough About Palin

    Hey hi Glibs,

    Haven’t been here in a while now that I’m retired, so it’s not like I’m in the office everyday with tons of free time.

    I have a question. I have a Dell laptop that I bought about six years ago. Works fine, but the battery stopped charging, eventually dropping down to 7%. Picked up a new battery yesterday and slapped it in. My laptop said it was charged to 57% and plugged in. Great, thinks I. Today, it says the exact same thing. I thought a new battery would correct things, but it didn’t.

    So my question: is there a charger built into my laptop and if so, is it something that can easily be replaced or is the new battery faulty? As big as the battery is, I figured that the charger would have been part of it. Please advise.

    – EAP

    PS After working 70 hours a week for years and years, retirement is wonderfully stress-free and provides ample time to make things like shrimp & grits and chicken & sausage filé ‘ gumbo.

    • R C Dean

      May I suggest abandoning it, unencrypted and full of, ahem, personal information, in a computer repair shop?

      • creech

        You mean the shop run by Russian spies?

    • LJW

      Do you have Dell Power Manager installed? If so open it and change power settings to standard.

    • Pope Jimbo

      A general troubleshooting guide. Depending on what type of Dell you have have a faulty board inside your laptop. Maybe look up the parts for your particular model here and see if it lists a board that has something to do with power.

      Glad to hear that retirement is going well. Since you have all this free time, you will have to show up (if not host) the next Minnesoda Glibs meetup.

    • R C Dean

      Good to see ya, EAP.

      Pater Dean was never busier than after he retired.

    • Tundra

      Dude!

      So glad to see you! Like the Pontiff said, you need to be there for the next melee!

  18. LCDR_Fish

    Hola Gliberinos.

    Been thinking about my yard stuff some more given the “mostly dry” weather we’ve been having recently where my yard is still too soggy in many spots to actually mow or even walk through.

    Made a rough sketch here (hope I’m not doxing myself with the link).

    Basically, I think in the next couple of years, I could realistically dig a French drain – going the “long way” due to my fence – but I need to raise the level of the yard ALL the way around.

    So I’m thinking about retaining wall stones along the base of the fence and adding dirt in all the areas that I marked as “soggy” and then reseeding with grass in the spring – and then in a year or so, it might be more realistic to dig a retaining wall. It’s particularly frustrating that the ground by my gate is one of the soggiest/muddiest areas – slopes down from the house, but my neighbor also has a very soggy lawn on their side of the fence there. (which is also where I’m thinking about dropping stepping stones – at least in the short term before I figure out something more professional/permanent.

    With this image, does it appear that adding dirt first might be a decent short term fix until I can dig out the ditch (or the city does it) and put in a decent french drain – given the grade requirements for adequate drainage?

    • prolefeed

      Turn off any sprinklers. Plant fast growing water tolerant trees. Sand, then gravel, then stones.

      • LCDR_Fish

        I have no sprinklers – it’s all just soggy from rain (we live along the potomac so lots of fog/condensation/etc all year – with the occasional dry summer month). I do want some shade trees in the back yard – if some trees in the middle would work to siphon off water from the edges….that might be an alternate solution.

      • LCDR_Fish

        The neighbor on the side of the fence where I have no gate – has retaining stones along their yard and the level is a little higher there – and i might be getting drainage from them – not sure. The neighbor along the back seems to be on the same level as me, but about the same right by the fenceline.

      • prolefeed

        Dunno what trees would work that far north, but my permaswamp area has sycamores, river birch, and bald cypresses planted to eventually soak it up.

        Willows grow super fast in the wet, if you don’t mind a constant rain of debris and them starting to die in 15-20 years. I’d steer clear of those if big limbs crashing down would be a problem.

      • whahappan

        I’m in Jersey and river birch does fine here. They soak up a lot of water, as you can guess from the name.

    • LCDR_Fish

      Ok…not dig a “retaining wall” – dig a “french drain” once the overall level is high enough to allow a draining grade to the ditch – such as it is.

    • Count Potato

      “Host a MAGA tailgate party outside the polling station, even if you’re a Biden voter. Biden parties are lame.”

      LOL

  19. Gadfly

    We Finally Know What a Dinosaur’s Butthole Looks Like

    Does STEVE SMITH care to comment on this story?

    • Pope Jimbo

      I would hope that STEVE SMITH at least keeps his affections inside the mammalian family. Banging dinosaurs (which are reptiles if I remember my Memphis State learning correctly) is something I don’t think even STEVE SMITH is cold blooded enough to do.

      • Mad Scientist

        You have to go way, way, waaaaay back to find a common ancestor of dinosaurs and reptiles. So far back, in fact, that one more clade is the common ancestor of reptiles and mammals.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Giuliani isn’t that old.

      • Spudalicious

        So if you want to know what a dinosaurs butthole looks like, look at a blue heron?

    • Agent Cooper

      “old news.”

  20. Ownbestenemy

    Results of homemade bacon using a hot smoke. First slab that was salt cured is a tad on the salty side but not overwhelming. Crisps up nicely and I was able to hand slice some goodness. I give it a 7 out of 10.

    Yhe other slabs were just smoke cured after brining/marinating the pork belly for a few days in the icebox. I used a receipe from online. 8/10 and probably the recipe I will use as a base from here on out.

    Next goal is to build a cold smoker if I have time or money.

    Now where are my oreos so I can wrap them up.

    • Count Potato

      You can build a cold smoker out of a hotplate and a cardboard box, barrel, etc.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yeah been looking up stuff. Might want a nice little smokehouse though. There is a british guy who builds random stuff and his videos are fun to watch

    • Spudalicious

      Nice. I’ve done both hot and cold smoke. The texture is slightly finer with the cold smoked but I thoroughly enjoy the hot smoke too.

      I don’t what recipe you’re using, but I do a 14 day dry cure followed by four days of drying after rinsing before smoking.

  21. Nephilium

    Gods damned mother-FUCKERS!

    Cleveland has extended the sidewalk seating until June of next year, and are planning on extending it until November 2021

    Meanwhile, members were in general agreement that the extension should go beyond June 1 since it’s likely that social distancing restrictions may well be in place beyond that date.

    Restrictions for over 18 fucking months? I’m going to be ready to start some street decorating if this continues that long. Not to mention, who doesn’t want to sit on a sidewalk during a Cleveland winter?

    • slumbrew

      Similar here in Boston-ish – they’ve graciously allowed outdoor dining through the winter. That’ll work just great here…

      • Rhywun

        Same here in NYC. It’s obvious that the lockdowns are never going away. Not sure what happens next year when all those jobs are gone for good.

      • KOVIDKristen

        How is it that most of the TWA Hotel indoor stuff is open?

      • Rhywun

        Restaurants? I believe we’re at 25% capacity now. When they burn through whatever cash they have left, it’s game over.

      • KOVIDKristen

        Yeah, only a couple of their facilities are closed. What’s open are the outdoor spaces & indoors in the gigantic lobby area – lounge, restaurant, and snacks.

        I think they make a lot of scratch from events, so I would be surprised if they survive.

        Glad I’m going in a few weeks.

      • C. Anacreon

        The demise of the TWA company ruined a great joke —

        Sexy stewardess asks leering horny guy:

        “Would you like to have my TWA coffee, or my TWA tea?”

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        +1 China Blue

      • wdalasio

        Or they’ll find religion as soon as the election is over, either way:

        Trump loses: “Mission Accomplished”
        Trump wins: “Holy shit! That big federal municipal bailout is now a non-starter!”

    • Ownbestenemy

      But its based on SCIENCE!

      • Nephilium

        Just two years to flatten the curve!

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Every damn restaurant is going to go teats up. Ain’t no way people are going to be sitting around in sub 20F weather enjoying a meal and a drink.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Howcome you hate science?

      • EvilSheldon

        Mostly because of the assholes who love it.

      • Nephilium

        But they can sell to go drinks now!

        Never mind the concert halls, movie theaters, rental halls, etc.

    • Ayn Random Variation

      2 weeks to flatten the curve.

  22. Rhywun

    leaked photos of Cardi B’s butthole

    File under “things I will never, ever search for on the internet”

    • Pope Jimbo

      I searched for “Cardi B’s asshole” and just got pictures some upset fan from Hong Kong.

    • db

      I read that as “Cardi B’s leaky butthole”

      • C. Anacreon

        This is, like, the worst chatroom anywhere

      • Brochettaward

        Nah. When I was a young Firster, just a wee lad, I would frequent AOL chatrooms. Now those were really the worst chatrooms ever.

        My favorite game was getting women to S2R and then never sending pictures back.

      • db

        I’ll take a worst before a first.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        You’ve been here too long.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Link?

    • TARDis

      The “other” WAP?

    • slumbrew

      Saw that. That’ll totally make people think “I should get Apple TV+” and not “Apple TV+ execs are giant assholes”

      • Rhywun

        Now The Expanse fans know how I feel about Amazon Prime.

    • db

      Pertinent

      But seriously, that sucks. WTF, did Peanuts get canceled?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That’s because Apple bought the rights in order to attract boomers to their streaming platform.

      It fits right in with their other Aaron Sorkin approved productions

    • The Hyperbole

      Meh, more people are cutting cable and going streaming only It’s only a matter of time until ‘broadcast” is just a memory, also they are offering it free to non subscribers for a limited few days right around the holiday, same with the Peanuts Thanksgiving special. Arguably it is more widely available and more assessable now than when it was only shown a handful of times on network TV, watch when you want, however many times you want, etc…..

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Which streaming service is best for ornery curmudgeons with a penchant for playing devil’s advocate?

      • The Hyperbole

        Not being an ornery curmudgeon I don’t know, maybe ask the person saying “They aren’t doing it the way it’s always been done consarn it!”

      • KOVIDKristen

        Exactly

      • KOVIDKristen

        One of my colleagues says I’m the only true curmudgeon she knows

      • Tres Cool

        “Not being an ornery curmudgeon I don’t know…”

        3 words- Garlic. Dill. Pickle.

      • KOVIDKristen

        It being broadcast once a year made it special. It’s like when Rocky Horror was first on TV. It lost all sense of occasion.

        So there.

      • Gender Traitor

        Without the ritual (which isn’t as much fun when you know you’ll have to clean up your own house,) you figure out it isn’t that good a movie.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Pretty sure the hipsters are into it. Just like they’re into shag rugs.

      • Nephilium

        If you haven’t seen it, just look up Linus’ speech from It’s Christmas Charlie Brown. Then be shocked that was on broadcast television for decades.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I own the whole holiday set on Blu Ray. I’m properly shitlording by exposing the next generation to it.

      • Bill (Door) Baggins (a Skellington)

        This. I’m a Peanuts fan as it is, so my kids are very familiar with “old Chuck.”

      • C. Anacreon

        On our living room wall is a framed drawing by Charles Schulz of Charlie Brown and Snoopy making a generic joke quote about my father-in-law. Apparently these were given out at some promotional cocktail party at the ad agency FIL worked at in the late 50s, where they paid for Schulz to be the guest and do these little cartoons for the execs present. It’s actually kind of cool, seeing the FIL’s name in that recognizable Schulz lettering, although I’m sure Schulz probably hated every second of it — but in the days before the first Charlie Brown Xmas special, the extra cash was probably pretty sweet for a guy only getting compensated for a syndicated comic strip.

      • Bill (Door) Baggins (a Skellington)

        That is awesome. One day, when I have all the money in the world (or my own printing press, whichever comes first) I would like to get into collecting Peanuts comics and art.

      • Raven Nation

        Charles Schulz: best timing ever on a celebrity death? Discuss.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        I met Chuck Jones at a Santa Fe art gallery shortly before his death. He was drawing custom cels for folks but seems like they were super expensive so I didn’t get one. Nice guy and very funny.

      • Nephilium

        /recalibrates sarcasm meter

      • Cancelled

        Dude he even signed it /millennials

    • Gender Traitor

      I have my Blu-Ray copy of the original and only true dramatization of “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” which you can take when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Not to mention, who doesn’t want to sit on a sidewalk during a Cleveland winter?

    Is Carhart a publicly traded company? There might be an increased demand for insulated coveralls.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    I just spent about three hours replacing a headlamp bulb in my dad’s Cadillac CTS. You have to partially disassemble the front of the car to get to the stupid thing. I dread to think what the dealer charges to do it.

    At least it’s not one of those infernal LED nightmares.

  25. Breet Pharara

    Who wants to give me odds: Some combination of PC repair guy, Guiliani, or NY Post get charged with possession/distribution of child pornography AND nothing happens to the Bidens.

    • Tres Cool

      PC repair guy could get the “charge”. Anyone else and it will be touted “…in an official investigation…” in the media, just so DOJ can throw their weight around.

      • Drake

        If he’s charged, the PC repair business is done in this country.

    • R C Dean

      Ima say, no.

      Because charging anybody just confirms and highlights, again, that ol’ Hunter had child porn on his computer. Plus, Giuliani and PC guy both turned it over to law enforcement. Keeping a copy is bad form, but I don’t see even the stupidest Soros DA as wanting to make a criminal case out of this, because I don’t see how you charge anybody but Hunter for this, without making it impossible to not charge Hunter for it.

      And you threaten Hunter with hard time, who says he won’t roll over on Pops?

      • kbolino

        Couldn’t they charge people just to gag them? That’s one of the possible motives behind crucifying Flynn.

      • Breet Pharara

        Four years of seeing some of the most naked corruption and hypocrisy imaginable and not one person suffering any real consequences has my cynicism maxed out. It won’t be until after the election regardless. I sure ain’t no lawyer, but I don’t see how knowingly making a copy of CP and giving it to anyone other than the police isn’t going to be a crime in one way or another.

        They impeached Trump for Biden’s corruption that he admitted to on tape. Seems very possible they go after some nobody who fixes up machines to send a message about messing things up for our betters.

        (All assuming the CP reports are true)

      • Agent Cooper

        The nobody also gave copies to unknown associates, like a sort-of deadman’s switch to immunize himself.

      • LJW

        The FBI has had the laptop for a year… If its really Hunters laptop they’re actively covering for him.

      • Tres Cool

        Roll over to who?

  26. Tres Cool

    today I learned…..”quotidian”

    • Ted S.

      What a mundane word.

      • Tres Cool

        You say that too often.

  27. Count Potato

    “I told my daughter this morning that if he wins again he’ll probably start rounding people up. “You might get a call at some point to come bail out Mommy.” We both laughed nervously.”

    https://twitter.com/marwilliamson/status/1318873548128178177

    OFFS!!

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      it’s good to see that they’re letting families visit the insane asylum again.

    • db

      Last I checked, Trump wasn’t the one vowing ti create tens (possibly hundreds) of millions of felons in one stroke of the pen simply for possessing items, the right to which is guaranteed in the founding document of our government.

    • kbolino

      If only the victims of the Nazis had thought to post bail.

      Maybe one of these things is not like the other…

    • Rhywun

      You used to be somewhat sane

      lolno

  28. Lackadaisical

    quotidian exit chute was my nickname in col… wait!

    • Tres Cool

      Alex, Ill take “people that want attention” for $500

      ““My husband ran and got the gun and shot back at the vehicle that was leaving.”

  29. Cy

    Anyone dove into the QAnon stuff at all? any recommendations of where to start?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Unless you’re you’re studying larping and mass psychosis don’t start. It’s nonsense.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        SHUT THE FUCK UP, PEDOTARD!

  30. Cy

    Also, no happy hour today?

    • Gender Traitor

      You mean a Zoom happy hour? Has there ever been one on a Wednesday?

      • Cy

        I don’t know the schedule. I just ask when I’m actually in a position to join it.

      • KOVIDKristen

        Usually only Friday & Saturday. I think the one on Wednesday was for some debate

      • KOVIDKristen

        There was one for the Veep debate or some such?

    • Tres Cool

      Im off tonight, but too faded to even jump in. Plus, I still need another TV.

  31. Sean

    FBI to hold a news conference shortly about the election. ?

    • LJW

      Probably nothing exciting

      • LJW

        It has to do with election security. So probably something along the lines of russia and china have hacked voting systems but haven’t changed votes bla bla bla.

      • Rhywun

        Plus Russia hacked the NY Post.

    • Cy

      The sign is tilted…

      • Cy

        Dare I say, crooked?

      • Sean

        Ha!

    • Breet Pharara

      “The FBI acknowledges that Russia is actively interfering in the election with the express purpose of helping known Russian asset Trump win reelection. As such, the FBI recommends that all negative information about Biden be ignored as it is Russian disinformation. We have asked Twitter and Facebook to assist and they have generously agreed.”

      • Ownbestenemy

        NotTheBee….I actually could hear them say that…if not this year, in 2024 and beyond

    • Cy

      Director Wray “our integrity.”

      I’m sorry what?

  32. The Late P Brooks

    Clown show

    A Manhattan federal court hearing for a case that hinges on the allegation that President Donald Trump raped a writer more than two decades ago ended abruptly Wednesday, after a government lawyer was barred from the courthouse due to New York’s coronavirus rules.

    Lawyers for the Department of Justice had planned to make oral arguments in person before Judge Lewis Kaplan to support their position that the DOJ should be allowed to intervene in E. Jean Carroll’s defamation lawsuit against Trump.

    But one of those lawyers was denied entry to the courthouse in lower Manhattan earlier in the day because he had traveled there from his home in Virginia.

    Virginia is among a group of states whose residents must quarantine for 14 days if they travel to New York state, because of Covid-19 precautions.

    Can the thing get any more absurd?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I thought she’d been thoroughly discredited but, hey, her story’s more plausible than the Russia nonsense.

    • Rhywun

      denied entry to the courthouse in lower Manhattan earlier in the day because he had traveled there from his home in Virginia

      Cue articles from the MSM about how Trump is too chicken to visit blue states.

    • Lackadaisical

      ‘ group of states’?

      I think we’re up to 45 now. . . There’s barely anywhere you can go anymore.

    • TARDis

      …and gone for a jog… and suffocated on your own vomit.

    • Rhywun

      Maybe you should have welded yourself into your home, because that’s the only way it isn’t gonna getchoo eventually.

      • Mad Scientist

        Unless you blockade yourself in with an indefinite supply of food and water, it’s still gonna get in eventually.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        We’re talking about sloopy’s sperm, right?

      • Lackadaisical

        You guys think about sloopy’s sperm a lot.

        Also, hi key jealous over here.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        If you want me to think about your sperm, please mail it to our office.

      • Mad Scientist

        Wait, I thought every conversation was about Sloopy’s sperm.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      And yet the fat fuck pulled through, just like the way over 99 percent who do just that.

  33. Ownbestenemy

    Lol Iran and Russia…..nothingburger FBI presser

    • Ted S.

      Did you expect anything?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Sometimes.

    • Sean

      Yup. Total waste of time.

      • Ownbestenemy

        See something say something! So question is…what did we just bomb and was it an aspirin factory?

    • Ownbestenemy

      So for those with actual memory…this is a direct response from Trump on what he feels Obama should have done in 2016 on the eve of the election.

  34. TARDis

    Trump and Hicks.

    The hair is lovely. Just a thought.

  35. R C Dean

    I just heard that, because people are staying home and likely doing more hiking, we are seeing at least twice as many snakebites and three times as many scorpion bites as in the Before Times.

    Did not see that coming.

    • Urthona

      So we’re gonna be up to two fatal snake bites a year in this country?

      • R C Dean

        Not sure how many we treat (very, very rare to lose someone who gets treated), but I think its a couple dozen a year, typically. Tucson is crawling with rattlesnakes. I generally kill a couple a year on my property, but I live right next to a national park and probably see more than my fair share.

      • EvilSheldon

        The US averages about five fatal snake bites per year, out of maybe 5-6k venomous bites.