The Care and Feeding Of Your New Wood Chipper

by | Nov 17, 2020 | Opinion, Politics, Satire | 209 comments

Disclaimer: This article is satire, so fuck off any piece-of-shit state attorney who is looking to make a name for him/herself…

Seven tips for maintaining your wood chipper:

1) Keep your wood chipper clean.

a) Pressure wash your machine after every use.

b) Replace the air filter every 25-50 hours of use.

2) Keep your blades sharp.

a) Replace or sharpen the chipper blades annually.

b) Sharp blades are more efficient at reducing your stock.

c) Your wood chipper engine runs more efficiently with sharp blades.

3) Use genuine parts.

a) The enginerds who designed your wood chipper have thought long and hard about it’s operation (unless they were drinking that day or it was Friday).

b) They have tested its operation to extremes that you would never think of. (I’m a test guy, and I relish breaking shit)

4) Check your chips.

a) If your chips are too thin, feed faster.

b) If your chips are too thick or if your chipper’s motor bogs down, feed slower.

5) Use Lube

a) Change the engine oil every 50-100 hours of use.

b) Grease all grease zerks at least twice a season.

6) Read the Fucking Manual.

a) No, really, RTFM.

b) Dude, READ THE FUCKING MANUAL.

7) Dont Be a Fuckwit.

Insert https://cdn11.bigcommerce.com/s-hcy32mr9u2/images/stencil/500×659/products/268/550/MIS-036_Not_To_Be_Operated_By_Fuckwits_485x385_STRESSED_THUMB__60847.1545916869.jpg?c=2 here

 

Hazards of wood chippers:

Wood chippers are inherently dangerous, powerful machines.

  • Never sit on, stand on, or climb onto any part of the wood chipper while it is in operation.
  • Ensure that the wood chipper’s discharge chute is positioned such that it won’t hit other employees.
  • Never reach into a chipper while it is operating.
  • Prevent detached trailer chippers from rolling or sliding on slopes by chocking the trailer wheels.
  • When servicing and/or maintaining chipping equipment (i.e., “unjamming”) use a lockout system to ensure that the equipment is de-energized.

 

Personal Protective Equipment (PPI)

  • Use appropriate hand protection relative to the task(s) to be performed, conditions present and the hazards and potential hazards identified.
  • Use appropriate eye and face protection. Devices purchased after July 5, 1994 must comply with ANSI Z87.1-1989 (.133(b)).
  • Wear a protective helmet. Helmets purchased after July 5, 1994 must comply with ANSI Z89.1-1986 (.135(b)).
  • Wear gloves with no cuffs (non-gauntlet).
  • Wear close-fitting and tucked-in clothing with no stray straps or strings. Jewelry should not be worn while operating chippers (ANSI Z133.1-2006-8.6.3).

By following these rules, you can assure that your wood chipper will give you many years of flawless service, and that you are making the world a better, less corrupt, place.

About The Author

pistoffnick (370HSSV)

pistoffnick (370HSSV)

pistoffnick is just a dude holding a stop sign at the edge of the lemming cliff. Conscientious objector to the race/culture wars. Dreaming of life on the lip of an ocean swell. Located on the corner of sanity and madness.

209 Comments

  1. Brochettaward

    *looks at clock and back at zero posts frantically*

    Just when I think I’m out, they pull me back in

  2. juris imprudent

    Preet was a fed.

    • pistoffnick

      Preet was a fuck-up.

      • juris imprudent

        That is in no way a contradiction of what I said.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        One might even consider it a requirement for the job.

  3. Idle Hands

    I’m more of a helicopter guy but times are tough.

    • The Other Kevin

      Be patient, there are a lot of electric aircraft in development so that sort of thing might make a comeback.

      • zwak

        TOK: (OT) if you do actually write or work on a book about disability, please let me know. I was diagnosed with MS about 2-3 years ago and have thoughts about it.

        Strange thoughts. And I hear things. Strange things.

      • The Other Kevin

        I’ll let you know. It’s still at the “swishing around in my head” stage.

    • juris imprudent

      Cost per hour of operation, and we do need to consider cost effectiveness in these trying times.

      • Idle Hands

        insurance is a bitch as well.

      • Drake

        And throughput. What kind of volume kind I expect to chip in that hour?

      • Plinker762

        I think a tub grinder would be better than a wood chipper. Easier to load, just use a front end loader and dump them in by the bucket load.

  4. pistoffnick

    This was inspired by the many weekly stupid, insipid, conde-fucking-cending e-mails I receive from our Environmental Health and Safety team.

    This week is testicular/breast cancer week! Here is how to check your balls/tits for lumps.
    This week is Halloween. Use these 10 tips to trick-or-treat safely
    Winter driving season is upon us. Here is how to drive safely!

    • Kwihn T. Senshel

      Nice work. And – great formatting!

      Ya, I get those emails all the time at my workplace, too. They used to annoy me. Now it’s become a sort of bemused mental drinking game to see what banal activity (1) they’ve made sound deadly, and (2) they’re condescending to teach us how to survive.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I suppose they also send a lot of mixed messages?

      Like after they tell you all about how to check for breast cancer, they then chastise you for getting into the swing of things and personally check all the gals in the office for breast cancer?

      • Kwihn T. Senshel

        “I’m just checking my balls for lumps. You people JUST TOLD ME TO DO IT!”

      • Not Adahn

        #toobin

    • commodious spittoon

      But don’t you dare schedule any cancer screenings during the coughdemic, and if you die from cancer, be aware it was for the greater good.

      Also, you’ll have died from complications of coughdemic.

  5. Tundra

    Replace the air filter every 25-50 hours of use.

    Hah! I guessed correctly!

    Good stuff nick! Thanks for the laughs.

  6. Nephilium

    You forgot to mention that you need to keep those damned college kids away.

  7. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Don’t pressure wash it after each use. Please. In fact, it’s probably never necessary.

    Keep your chipper well greased and your blades sharp. And make sure your politician wood is free of dirt, sand, and the occasional nail, these things dull your blades.

    Speaking as a woodchipper owner/leaser.

    • pistoffnick

      Red mulch is unsightly as well as a possible pathogen. Here are 5 tips to avoid pathogens…

      • Bobarian LMD

        Just make sure you empty the pockets of any wood before you process it.

    • Threedoor

      I bet artificial hips and knees play he’ll with them too.

  8. Sean

    Amused, I am.

  9. zwak

    Not a wood chipper, but having run industrial paper shredders, please, please, do not put three-ring binders into the shred bin.

  10. Not Adahn

    Iquipment?

  11. Rebel Scum

    Someone is feeling chipper today.

  12. LemonGrenade

    This led to many pleasant lunchtime daydreams. Thanks!

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Read the Fucking Manual.

    NEVAAAAAAARRRR!

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      Oddly enough, I do end up reading it to find out what that error code means. Probably not related to my aversion to manuals.

    • Lackadaisical

      African American member was my nickname in college.

  14. Kwihn T. Senshel

    @Trashy: you said in the dead thread regarding alternative schooling options:

    The one thing that I’ve really struggled to find is an age agnostic schooling model. I don’t want my kids to spend 13 years surrounded by 20 kids selected based on being born within a 12 month span. I want them to be able to go to class with older kids and younger kids, get hands on instruction from adults, and participate in extracurriculars that aren’t purely age stratified.

    I and my kids were part of a twice-weekly co-op that worked really well. Kids from 1st to about 10th grades, with four 60-90 minute periods in the day. Teachers would propose classes they’d be willing/able to teach, and families would vote on their preferences to set the curriclum for the next term. This led to me teaching everything from choir, to archery, to orienteering, to AP physics. Examples of other classes were things like pottery, mythology and philosophy, Latin, cooking and baking, anatomy, and robotics.

    Nearly every class had a broad range of ages. Even in classes that were age-limited, you still had at least 2-4 years of age ranges, and the older/quicker kids were encouraged to develop their tutoring skills with the youngers. I taught one class – orienteering – that had 1st through 8th graders, and was one of the highest rated of the semester, I think in part because of that age spread, as the more mature students helped the younger learn how to read their maps, which forced the older ones to think through what they knew in order to communicate it.

    Anyway, I share that simply to say that I think there are opportunities like what you mentioned out there. In your area, who knows, but maybe you become the catalyst to start?!

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      I have been a fan of achievement based education. You are in level one until you master these skills, level two when you master the next, and so on. At a certain age or when you master all of the skills, you basically graduate/age out of the system and can go vo-tech or apprentice in the trades or college prep, depending on academic achievement level.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      and the older/quicker kids were encouraged to develop their tutoring skills with the youngers.

      This is exactly what I want to see. It promotes so many actual valuable real world skills.

      • Viking1865

        It used to be a bedrock principle of American education that the older students would help the youngers with the lessons. Because you don’t really understand something unless you can teach it to someone else.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Quite true!

      • Kwihn T. Senshel

        It promotes so many actual valuable real world skills.

        Indeed. And, it gets the kids used to regularly dealing with a broad range – dare I say diversity – of people, from youth to adult, all in the course of a day, which expands other practical skills, too.

        One thing I’ve never liked about our government school systems is how you’re supposed to be “socialized” with 30 other miscreants your age. Dunno about y’all, but ** I ** wasn’t exactly the best role model for my peers.

  15. rhywun

    “Do not dumb here.”

    LOL stealing

    • Kwihn T. Senshel

      Heh, ya, that one got a right-click > save from me.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Dumb, dump. Potato, potawtoe.

      • zwak

        Dnwp

    • The Other Kevin

      Wait farming is hard and dangerous? I thought you just put seeds in the ground and they grow.

      • zwak

        No. Birds poop the seeds and rain!

        That is nature’s way, why do we harm her with sad?

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Seems like you can boil it down to heavy things are sexist.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Uffda. Women are exactly the same as men.

      Shitlords spreading misinformation about women being smaller and physically weaker than men will be sent to the camps for some friendly education. The camps will be guarded by 100 lb teen-aged women who are all capable of beating up at least 20 men at a time without breaking a sweat.

    • Homple

      “I can only hold it up for so long,” Spurgeon says. “So if I can’t get it on within the first couple of minutes, I can’t hold it anymore because my shoulders give out.”

      Also, “plowers”.

      • pistoffnick

        “plowers” – yeah you can be sure the author didn’t grow up on a farm.

        I did. And I made sure I got my ass off the farm as soon as I could. Farming is hard work even for burly-burly men. It is a hard way to make money.

      • pistoffnick

        How do you make a million dollars on the farm?

        Start with 2 million.

      • Florida Man

        Wrong! You make a million through biofuel subsidies.

      • Bobarian LMD

        You never heard of subsidies?

    • Threedoor

      Little Yanmar home use tractor panted green. Designed for people 5’ 4”ish and of slight build.

  16. Rebel Scum

    Mandate.

    The election is over. Joe Biden and Kamala Harris won, and they will soon be president and vice president. We’ve lived through unprecedented rancor, division and entrenchment over the past four years, courtesy of Donald Trump. While some refuse to accept this result, the reality of this transition will not change—on January 20, Joseph Biden will become our 46th president.

    The gun violence prevention movement has never seen a more solid endorsement of its cause than in the election of Biden, the greatest gun violence prevention champion our movement has ever had in the White House. And we are ready to get to work now to save lives. …

    Building back better means ending gun violence and ensuring that the parents of tomorrow don’t look back and wonder if they said “I love you” before their child, killed in a school shooting, left for school. …

    The American people voted decisively for Biden and Harris, who ran on the most comprehensive gun violence prevention platform in history. Organizers, particularly Black and brown organizers, young people and victims of gun violence across the nation, have worked together to ensure gun violence prevention was understood as a critical electoral issue. We’re standing in the sun on this issue because of their work. And, with a partner in the White House, we’re ready to show how we can work together to achieve needed change.

    They ran on it, but they didn’t talk about it much. I wonder why…

    • The Other Kevin

      I’m sure it has nothing to do with simultaneously trying to defund police and getting rioters released without charges.

    • rhywun

      Herpity derpity doo.

    • R C Dean

      We’ve lived through unprecedented rancor, division and entrenchment over the past four years, courtesy of Donald Trump.

      *eyeroll*

      Biden and Harris, who ran on the most comprehensive gun violence prevention platform in history

      They did? I don’t recall a single mention of it during the general election campaign. Including by Trump’s campaign, which goes onto their list of blown opportunities. And its a not a short list. When his campaign touched on actual issues, it was generally with some sort of inside-the-Beltway shorthand – I’m thinking of the periodic references to “Biden is going to take the suburbs away” or somesuch. I mean, yeah, that was one potential outcome of the Dem platform, but it was very far from intuitive.

      “Biden will triple your electric bill, triple the price of gas, force brownouts and blackouts, crush millions of jobs in our energy sector, and create millions of jobs overseas to make the solar panels and windmills we will rely on for intermittent power” – where the fuck was that ad? I didn’t really follow the campaign that closely, but I never saw a short, simple list of the catastrophe proposed by the Dems with their Green New Deal, which Biden and Harris both supported in the primaries, and which was in their platform.

      “Biden and Harris have not opposed the rioting in our cities by radical leftists. They do oppose letting you defend yourselves. They will require that millions of guns legally owned by law-abiding Americans be surrendered to the federal government. They will impose a tax on guns and magazines you want to keep. They will create a registration list of your guns, which will be very useful when they decide to take them from you later.” Where was that ad?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        That was the rallies. I can’t remember the content of the Trump ads.

      • R C Dean

        Preaching to a few hundred thousand enthusiastic fans is useful, even very useful, but no substitute for a broadcast attack on the other side.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I don’t know, other states probably saw a lot more Trump advertising than my blue one.

      • R C Dean

        We were pretty inundated in AZ, and I never saw an ad targetting either gun control (in AZ! from Trump or McSally!) or energy policy.

    • CPRM

      “Jill, just shoot that 12 gauge in the air, it’ll scare off the n***** CornPop!”

    • Urthona

      Didn’t I just read support for gun control is plummeting? Probably alongside the realization cops don’t really protect people.

      • juris imprudent

        Shh, don’t discourage the Democrats from committing seppuku to more wildly popular policies!

      • R C Dean

        They pass “unpopular” laws. The new laws stick around forever.

        Worst case for the Dems, they lose an election, then they win one. Regardless, their new laws are now part of the status quo forevermore.

        This is not a dynamic I am fond of.

      • Gustave Lytton

        -1 Brady Bill background checks

      • Viking1865

        Yep, and the “moderate Democrats” or the “Blue Dog Democrats” or whatever branding they are using this decade to hide their true natures will be booted from Congress enmasse and then find professorships, nonprofit jobs, lobbying gigs, media gigs, etc. The Left takes care of their own.

        Obamacare was a complete success for the Democratic Party, because the Democratic Party exists to advance their vision and their agenda. The Republican Party exists to fundraise in opposition. The Republican Party would never ever sacrifice seats temporarily in order to achieve a structural policy goal.

        I would argue that’s in large part because when Republican politicians are booted from office, they struggle to find the same kinds of cushy sinecures that the Left has in abundance. When a Democrat gets booted from office because they moved the ball closer to the goal line, they get taken care of. It will happen again with the Green New Deal, or the National Gun Safety Act, or the Modernizing American Voting Act or the Balancing Expression In the Modern World Act. They will get massacred in the House, and the usual group of traitor Republicans in the Senate will say “Oh no, the Green New Deal is now settled law, repealing it would be too disruptive.”

    • Drake

      Funny how there were zero questions about gun control during the debates.

    • leon

      As i predicted. Now to see the forces for Gun Rights to Marshall forward.

    • leon

      The gun violence prevention movement has never seen a more solid endorsement of its cause than in the election of Biden

      Win an election by the skin of your teeth: Mandate.

      I know that they are propagandizing for their desired policies, but in a way it is kinda funny. They are saying the best endorsement for gun control comes when the candidate 1) Never makes it a signature issue that they run on, and 2) Barely even wins the election.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      the rejection of competition as icky and the unreality attendant to that mindset

      Yep, and I think that rejection came from two deeper causes. The rejection of true community and the rejection of true charity. What we’ve received in replacement are a nanny state and victimhood as virtue.

      • juris imprudent

        Also goes with the notion of the therapeutic state as discussed in The Culture of Narcissism.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I read the first paragraph and can already see where that’s headed, an endorsement of being the world’s policeman and spending untold trillions of dollars and tanker trucks of blood in overseas shitholes.

      • R C Dean

        Yup. On a quick scan – We shouldn’t fight to win. We should just . . . fight.

        Winning means the defense contracts go away, after all.

        This stuck out:

        The approach stems from a culture that misunderstands the value of avoiding defeat.

        We have not fought to win since WWII. The Cold War was a war of containment. The Forever War is, really, a war of containment. The objective isn’t winning, its “not losing”. So, we won’t win so we can come home. We’re not losing as long as we are stuck in all over the globe. This is a serious misreading of 70 years of American foreign policy and military strategy.

        Even Afghanistan and Iraq, where it can look like we won in traditional terms (the enemy government was overthrown) weren’t really victories because we wouldn’t let them be. We had to stick around and attempt the impossible with our military – turning countries who have no desire to be liberal democracies into liberal democracies, and thus converting military victory into strategic stalemate. If that is his point, I tend to agree. But on a quick scan, I’m not getting that as the point. Could be missing something though.

      • R C Dean

        I would further argue that classical Jacksonian warfighting in Iraq would have meant Iran got invaded and overthrown, and in Afghanistan would have meant Pakistan got invaded and overthrown. Under any understanding of war as armed conflict between sovereigns, both countries were at war with the US once we invaded their neighbors.

        We never intended to go to war against Iran and Pakistan, and shouldn’t have, but that should have led us to the realization that we shouldn’t have gone into Iraq at all, and shouldn’t have stuck around in Afghanistan.

      • l0b0t

        Well said, sir. FedGov had no business getting involved in Kuwait the first time, and Afghanistan (and, quite frankly, Pakistan and the KSA) called for a punitive expedition and nothing more.

      • Chipwooder

        It also would have meant carpet bombing all of those countries until they begged for peace. That’s what we did in WWII – we broke the enemy’s will to fight.

        War is all hell. It’s just as true today as it was in Sherman’s time, and trying to make it not as hellish is folly.

      • Chipwooder

        “War is cruelty. There is no use trying to reform it; the crueler it is, the sooner it will be over.”

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        ?

        The enemy has no appreciation for nation-building exercises.

      • juris imprudent

        Agree that fighting to win stopped after WWII. Korea was the first conflict in which stalemate was the objective. There was a good read, off War on the Rocks as I recall, about our lack of a concept of victory, i.e. what conditions would constitute a win these days. It tends to be a very vague defense of the status quo.

        That said, Army today still commits publicly to fighting any where, any time against any foe in any conditions.

      • l0b0t

        I’m slogging through the latest Dan Carlin (Supernova In The East part 5 of 6). My favorite quote so far – “The Australians are the best jungle fighters of the war. The Japanese are the second best. The Americans, you can’t really tell; they prefer to knock down the jungle and fight in what remains.”

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        That is a good series that took me several weeks of commutes to get through it though.

        That reminds me of an entertaining salvo in the perpetural Army v. Marines rivalry: “You call the Marines if you need to take a hill, you call the Army if you want the hill leveled and turned into a firebase.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        “It is good that war is so terrible, should we become too fond of it.”
        -Robert E. Lee

      • Viking1865

        There’s a quote from a German in the Ardennes talking about how “in the German Army, the infantry solves its own problems. You shoot at an American unit, and they just hunker down and call in artillery and air support.”

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        *snort*
        As true today as it is now, we just have more and better ordnance.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        How come it didn’t show up in my feed? Fucking YT
        Thanks iobot!

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        The Greek Civil war was a win (more or less). If you define a win as kicking the commies out, that is.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Martin van Creveld calls these Low-Intensity Conflicts, and they are almost always a lose-lose proposition for the greater foreign power.

        I think he misses the domestic win-win proposition for those that seek to profit from the unending war.

    • Threedoor

      Kill enough of them and they eventually quit fighting.

  17. Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

    Does the chipper actually turn soft flesh into chips?

    • pistoffnick

      I guess it depends if your politician is frozen or not.

      • rhywun

        You betcha!

    • Not Adahn

      Well, after the deep-fryer step.

      • Gender Traitor

        Can I get a model with an air fryer? #GlibFit

  18. CPRM

    5) Use Lube

    can I get it in 50 gallon drums under the usual Glibs discount?

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      I think Jesse has the coupon code.

  19. Rebel Scum

    Meh. We could do better.

    The National Shooting Sports Foundation (NSSF) reported Monday there are an estimated 434 million firearms in private possession in the United States of America.

    • EvilSheldon

      Especially when it comes to magazines. Only 160 million extends in circulation? It should be at least twice that…

      • Rebel Scum

        I guess they are using the “boating accident” multiplier.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      I’m impressed it doesn’t come off on their collars. Trump doesn’t need it or the hair dye IMO.

      • Florida Man

        White guilt. That’s why he identifies as a tangerine-American.

    • R C Dean

      Ballot printer goes BRRRRR.

  20. Rebel Scum

    Fredo says the quiet thing out loud.

    During the handoff to his show, CNN’s Chris “Fredo” Cuomo admits “we do the job based on who’s in power.”

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Prissy douchebag is prissy

    Of the confrontation with Sullivan, Brown said, “He was inches away from four people who had masks on, but couldn’t protect themselves from him.”

    “I don’t care what they say to me. I care about public health. It’s clear that McConnell and some of my Senate colleagues, like Ted Cruz, care nothing about essential workers,” Brown said.

    LOOK AT ME, I’M SAVING THE WORLD!

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Since the pandemic has begun, there have been many occasions during which senators do not appear to be adequately socially distant on the Senate floor, especially during votes.

    A CNN review of hours of footage from September 29 through October 1 showed senators often crowding one another — face-to-face and shoulder-to-shoulder — and carrying on extended conversations in the chamber.

    And yet, none of them are dead. It’s a mystery.

    • LJW

      But how many grandparents did they kill?

    • R C Dean

      The fact that CNN did not specify “Republican” Senators makes me pretty confident it was not just Republican Senators.

      He was inches away from four people who had masks on, but couldn’t protect themselves from him

      So masks do nothing to protect you?

      • DEG

        The fact that CNN did not specify “Republican” Senators makes me pretty confident it was not just Republican Senators.

        I’m reminded of a bit from this story about a NH State House session at the Whittemore Center in Durham.

        The “Liberty Section” (otherwise known by House Democrats as “Non-Compliant”) was moved to the other side of the room, where the “Medically Compromised” folks sat the last time. It seems that the Democrats did not like having the so-called “Non-Compliant” people near them, or perhaps they didn’t want photos taken of them taking a knee during the National Anthem, or not social distancing and wearing masks at times. No matter, some of the Liberty Section Representatives had sufficient telephoto lenses to document House Democrats behaving badly.

    • Kwihn T. Senshel

      I’m all for calling out the hypocrisy. And, I agree with your point, for sure.

      But, it’s not the Legislators that are making all the lockdown orders and mask mandates and spending local tax dollars on propaganda. It’s mostly the State Executives that have gone mad with power.

      In fact, so far as I can tell – and I haven’t researched this fully, so may be wrong – other than already existing Emergency Power legistlation, there are no state legistlatures that have passed laws specifically curtailing freedoms, or placing restrictions; it’s been the Executive.

      Goes back to our discussion this morning where I noted that all branches of the gov’t are now making de facto laws.

  23. Rebel Scum

    This asshole is still talking?

    “What we’ve seen is what some people call truth decay. Something that’s been accelerated by outgoing President Trump, the sense that not only do we not have to tell the truth, but the truth doesn’t even matter,” says former President Obama.

    Banal Barry and Gropey Joe always told the truth. It is known. ///Truth>Facts

    • l0b0t

      “Truth decay” sounds too much like tooth decay and now I’m triggered – https://youtu.be/0fLTh0IVOkQ

    • R C Dean

      Something that’s been accelerated by outgoing President Trump, the sense that not only do we not have to tell the truth, but the truth doesn’t even matter

      The thing is, he’s absolutely right, at least about the Dems not having to tell the truth and the truth not mattering (any more). I might quibble with the first part.

      I would say its accelerated during the Trump administration, as the DemOp Media has completely cut ties with reporting and facts and gone straight to propaganda over “truth”.

      • Rebel Scum

        The propaganda is the “truth”, comrade. It is just devoid of facts. And even there are facts they are used to paint a false narrative.

    • Chipwooder

      If you like your truth, you can keep your truth

  24. Gender Traitor

    DeWine just announced a statewide curfew – 10 pm to 5 am starting Thursday.

    Who knew the virus was nocturnal?

    • The Other Kevin

      That makes loads of sense. Let’s have everyone out and about in a more compressed time frame.

      • Akira

        Why won’t you just shut up and obey The Science™?

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      I assume you will have to present a hall pass or papers to prove that you have been granted the right to be out at night… CWAA.

    • Kwihn T. Senshel

      Was there a rationalization given, other than “SAVING LIVEZ”?

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Standard Government reasoning: FYTW.

    • Ownbestenemy

      And no ‘news’ will ever call it out. By the way…how many deaths from Sturgis and The White House superspreader events?

    • Nephilium

      The bars.

      But remember, it’s not a shutdown, it’s a slowdown. The one thing that stood out was they mentioned that the reason for the 05:00 opening was so that people could go to gyms, which means he may just punish us by taking away our bars and restaurants.

      Or he’s realized the current court cases are still against him being able to shut down gyms.

      • Nephilium

        That does appear to be some good news.

      • The Hyperbole

        It would be nice to see the legislature take back some of their responsibilities, I’ll believe it when I see it however.

      • Ted S.

        But can they override a veto?

      • The Hyperbole

        Thomas says he believes the Ohio House of Representatives will have the 60 votes needed to override a veto from the governor if it gets to that level.

        Look fat, I’m not some everyday links poster I expect you to RTFA.

      • Ted S.

        The URL in the headline says Ohio senators, not the House.

  25. grrizzly

    Jeffrey Tucker: We are living through the most anti-science age since probably the 15th century.

    • Tundra

      Denier! Unclean!

    • leon

      Let’s not besmirch the intellectuals of the 14th century so. I would say that we might be in the height of “deference towards authority” than in the last 250 years.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Well no shit. How many held known medical facts and practices have we seen just disappear?

      I mean there are discussions on T-cells that are being presented as great medical breakthroughs even though we have understood how antibodies pretty much work for decades.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Just wear your leaches as per Baron-Governor’s edits.

  26. Ownbestenemy

    I am mildly worried about my oldest son and what these lockdowns and constant fear peddling is doing to him.

    He requested that my household get tested before him and his girlfriend come out here to Vegas from California for Thanksgiving.

    I told him that my work (FAA) does not want us to get tested is we A: have no symptoms and/or B: have had no contact with a positive.

    We meet both of those. I am not going to waste resources and if any of us do meet A or B, we will inform you like normal human beings do so you can adjust your plans.

    He didnt like that but hid behind the New California Fear Edict and said he shouldn’t come anyway.

    Kid is 19 and can make that choice, but you gotta get from out under that cloud of fear.

    • Tundra

      Send him a few articles from AIER. Tucker has been amazing on the ‘vid foolishness.

      • Kwihn T. Senshel

        Send him a few articles from AIER.

        Agreed. This place and AIER have been instrumental in keeping me sane.

        In addition to Tucker, I’d suggest Boudreaux, too.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That’s screwed up. I’m sorry man.

      A nineteen year old has nothing to fear from this illness.

      • Ownbestenemy

        His only justification is he lives with grandparents but he can hole up at g-friends for a couple of weeks. So his logic is just overcome with fear.

        Thanks Tundra for that recommendation and I will send him those.

      • Tundra

        Of course. Most youngsters need a little logical guidance.

      • R C Dean

        His only justification is he lives with grandparents

        How often is he getting himself tested? I mean, if testing asymptomatic people is required to protect the vulnerable, well, shouldn’t he be either moving out getting tested periodically?

        For that matter, how many people that he comes in contact with on a regular basis are getting tested regularly?

      • Ownbestenemy

        You are preaching to the choir. Like I said, his normal logical, factual self has been overridden with fear.

        My parents’ house is even set up in a way he never has to come near them.

        Im thinking he doesn’t want to face my wraith for nit getting a job….

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        You have a Wraith? Spooky……..

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Thanks Tundra for that recommendation and I will send him those.

        Alternative suggestion: people my age and younger thrive on two things. Drama and attention.

        Give him neither and he’ll not know what to do. “Sorry that you won’t be able to make it. We’ll catch ya next time. Send my regards to gramgram and pappy.”

        All that emotional energy he built up ready for a fight gets no outlet, and he’s stuck there with the rhetorical equivalent of blueballs.

        IMO, it’s a lesson that sticks much better than sending a bunch of articles.

    • R C Dean

      Further to your opposition: The inaccuracy/overreading of the tests. Even a positive result doesn’t mean you still have any kind of active infection, much less are transmissable. And a positive test may need to be reported to your employer, who will require you to quarantine for two weeks and until you test clean.

      Sorry about your kid missing Thanksgiving, but I hope you don’t buckle and get the damn test. Testing of asymptomatic people is pure downside.

    • DEG

      Sorry.

      Fear is the mind killer.

  27. Heroic Mulatto

    Please, please help me with something. If you prefer Pepsi over Coke, please unfriend me. Or, reply that you are an idiot and I will unfriend you If you were ignorant, anti-American, and anti-Christian enough to drink Crystal Pepsi, I really don’t want to be your social friend on social media. I wouldn’t hand out with you in real life, I don’t want to hang out with you virtually either. You have corrupted the soft drink industry. You have corrupted our youth. You have corrupted our country. I have standards and you don’t meet them. Please remove yourself.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Finally, a cancelling effort I can get behind.

    • Tundra

      Someone’s been on FB again…

      • Not Adahn

        Except that I’m pretty sure Zuckerberg was still an undergrad when crystal pepsi existed. And consumer broadband wasn’t yet a thing.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Pepsi > Coke, except McDonalds Coke.

      • Tundra

        It’s all poison. Drink beer.

      • Idle Hands

        this all day.

      • The Hyperbole

        Coffee until 10am, V8 between 10am and 2pm, beer after 2pm

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        sounds good, except the beer starts at noon,

      • The Hyperbole

        I find it counter productive to start drinking before my afternoon nap.

      • commodious spittoon

        What about Clamato instead of V8? And mixing the Clamato and beer. Ten, twelve, two, whenever.

      • Not Adahn

        Waffle House Coke > McDonalds Coke

      • Plinker762

        The Coke flavor mixing machines suck.

    • R C Dean

      I wouldn’t hand out with you in real life

      Not sure I want to know what handing with HM really involves . . . .

    • EvilSheldon

      I liked Crystal Pepsi okay.

      I mean, I was like twelve when it came out, so I would have drank drain cleaner if it had enough sugar in it…

      • Chipwooder

        Richmond was a test market for Crystal Pepsi. We had a Crystal Pepsi vending machine at my high school months before it went nationwide. Everyone drank it at first for the novelty. After that, it was just Pepsi.

    • Rebel Scum

      Dr. Pepper is the superior soft drink.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        or Vernor’s, but DP rocks…..

      • SDF-7

        Damn skippy.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        RIP Dublin Dr Pepper.

      • Chipwooder

        Cheerwine is my favorite

    • Not Adahn

      I remember that day — a bottle of Captain Morgan, but the only mixer in the entire house was diet crystal pepsi.

      Oddly enough, that’s the only theing I can remember about that day, other than the mug that was used to drink it.

      • Not Adahn

        Oh wait, it’s coming back to me now. It was Pledge Day. Someone bought 600 tacos from Taco Mayo.

    • pistoffnick

      Less filling!

    • leon

      Don’t blame me I drink RC Cola

  28. Not Adahn

    ZOMG HAX!

    • Kwihn T. Senshel

      37 minutes after the hour: HM Posts fake news about Coke.
      39 minutes after the hour: Site goes down.

      Coincidence?

      I think not.

      • Not Adahn

        …and now the links are late

  29. Sean

    https://www.health.pa.gov/topics/disease/coronavirus/Pages/Travelers.aspx

    By Order issued November 17, 2020, the Wolf administration is requiring that travelers entering Pennsylvania from other countries and states, as well as Pennsylvanians who are returning home from other countries or states, have a negative COVID-19 test within 72 hours prior to entering the Commonwealth or quarantine for 14 days upon entry into Pennsylvania.

    These stupid fucks.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      glad I traveled here before it became Verboten! do these fucks really think they can stop interstate travel? Good Luck…

    • Kwihn T. Senshel

      have a negative COVID-19 test within 72 hours prior to entering the Commonwealth or quarantine for 14 days

      So what happens if I get a test after I enter and it’s negative? Still quarantine?

      Sheesh.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Silly, it’s the Camps for you, oh, did I mention?
        Fuck Off Tulpa!

      • Kwihn T. Senshel

        Heh, thanks. Lurked since the beginning – only came out of hiding on election night.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        So I noticed,
        Welcome, glad you enjoy our Mad house, bring us an article!

      • Kwihn T. Senshel

        Perhaps one day. I’m humbled (and mildly intimidated) by the talent on this site, and don’t know how much I could add. But, we’ll see.

      • Plinker762

        Traveling to Alaska:
        Covid test 72 hrs before departure.
        No test before departure = test at airport and quarantine until negative result
        Negative result or quarantine until negative result received.
        Self-Isolate for 7 days after arrival (i.e.; pick-up windows for food only)
        Suggested 2nd test at 7 days or self-isolate for 7 more days.

    • commodious spittoon

      Good luck enforcing that.

      Dad expressed some concern about the quarantine after traveling out of state earlier this year. How would they know unless you tell them? Other than social media rats, but you shouldn’t be on Facebook anyway.

      • Kwihn T. Senshel

        Or neighbots reporting you.

        Although, if there are no actual penalties in place for violation, then what can they do?

        Nevermind, we all know what they can do…

    • juris imprudent

      [mutters to self] two more years of these assholes

    • mrfamous

      If the courts don’t start declaring some of this clearly unconstitutional shit “unconstitutional,” what the fuck good are they?

      This has to stop one way or the other. I know the fuckwits on Twitter cheer this shit on, but there’s no possible way the majority of the country is on board with this.

      • Sean

        I emailed the link to my gf.

        Her response:

        He can go fuck himself.

      • DEG

        I haven’t met her, but I can tell she is a good girlfriend.

      • Sean

        Some day you might meet her.

    • DEG

      Gauleiter Wolf can go fuck himself.

  30. DEG

    I larfed.

    Thanks pistoffnick!

    Oh, that deer camp chili recipe you posted a while back. I made it using beef and not venison. It was excellent.

    • pistoffnick

      Thanks.

      Try the green chili next.

  31. Yusef drives a Kia

    Wet snow= more ice, I’m glad to have an ice scraper in the house, chipping away at the van doors is much easier

  32. mikey

    I actually read the manual for my router (woodworking not network). Glad I did as it offered this pices of helpful advice:
    “Do not put router bit downwards in your lap when it is running.”

    Scary when you think every safety warning was put there by a lawer after someone sued the company after doing just that.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      OW! My Balls!

    • The Last American Hero

      Well it could be difficult to cope if you use the router like that.