4th Annual Glibertarians Thanksgiving Recipe RoundUp!

by | Nov 19, 2020 | Beer, Cooking, Food & Drink, Recipes, Wine | 133 comments

A note about the format for this post: I’ve added the recipes accordion style to avoid having multiple tabs open and to prevent having to scroll for miles to see them all. When you click on the + on the right side of an item, the previous item you were looking at will close. Depending on the speed of your connection, it may take a second for your browser to bring the new item to the top of the screen. Note that the recipes are now organized by category. Each category’s accordion functions only for that section.

Each item has a print button. You may save or print the recipe as a pdf, or just simply make it easier to have the one you want open on your mobile device without all the rest of the page clutter.

This year’s newly contributed recipes are at the bottom of each section. I’ve also added a section for vegetarian main dishes…because I can. 

Enjoy these Thanksgiving recipes contributed by your fellow Glibs (and even a couple lurkers!).

Happy Thanksgiving!

~ SP

BEVERAGES

A note on Thanksgiving wine pairings by Spudalicious

print as pdf

 

I’m going to go through what I consider to be decent wine pairings for the traditional Thanksgiving meal.

We’re talking turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, a boatload of gravy, cranberry sauce and the token side dishes that only Aunt Martha eats.

This is a high salt, high fat, carb rich environment. It can also be a wine killer. And turkey really doesn’t pair well with heavy wines. My overall suggestion is that you want a wine that can cut through all of that. Meaning, leave your high dollar Cabernets and your big, blousy, oak filled Chardonnays in the cellar. All they will do is add to the heaviness of the meal.

White wines

Light, crisp, aromatic, those are all descriptions to look for in a white wine pairing. One of my favorites is a dry Gewurztraminer. I’m not talking about the majority of the wines available that have too much residual sugar, I’m talking about a lighter in body, fruity, spicy dry white. A producer I would point to is Navarro Vineyards.

Another white that would fit the bill is a dry Riesling. DRY people, DRY. Navarro also fits the bill quite well here. You could also go German and look for a Riesling in the Kabinett, or maybe the Spatlese category. It will depend on the producer.

Sauvignon Blanc is also a good choice. Just keep an eye on the alcohol level. Some of the New Zealand brands would fit well, just don’t go too crisp and dry. You want to cut through the richness of the meal, not hack it to bits with a machete.

If you insist on Chardonnay, go with one of the many unoaked versions now on the market. They are crisper and still maintain the Chardonnay flavor profile. Two to choose from would be Joel Gott and Mer et Soleil Silver Label. These are both in the $15-20 range.

Rosé

Avoid domestic producers. Almost all of them have too much residual sugar. Look to Rosés from the south of France, such as Provence, or Italy. They are dry and crisp and would be a good foil to the meal.

Red wines

As I mentioned earlier, avoid the Cabernet. Save it for Christmas Eve prime rib.

Georges Debouf is a marketing genius. Around this time of year, Beaujolais Noeveau is released. It’s a young, fresh light red from France made from the Gamay grape. It goes well with heavy dishes. Traditional Beaujolais would also work well. Fruity and not too heavy.

Pinot Noir. Love, love, love a good Pinot for Thanksgiving. This is my go to. Go with what you like but given what’s happened with the alcohol levels in Pinot Noir, I would avoid anything much above 14% and most preferably, below. Oregon Pinot would be a good choice here.

Domestic Syrah these days are pretty much a variation on Pinot in structure. Stay away from the big alcohol versions and you should do okay. Sierra Foothills and some of the choices from Washington State should be just fine. As much as I would love to tell you to go with a Cote Rotie from France, I just don’t think this is the place for it.

One big red that I have found does seem to work well on Thanksgiving is Zinfandel. Avoid the monsters over 15% alcohol and try and find something a little more balanced. Sierra Foothills is again a place to look to to fit the bill.

What about the pumpkin pie?

This is where the sticky white wines go. As long as your pie isn’t too sweet, this is the time to pour small glasses of late harvest Gewürztraminer, Riesling, Muscat, or a Sauternes. Again, go with a small pour. It’s the end of the meal and a few sips will be plenty to cap off the event.

The other alternative to the above suggestions?

Drink whatever you want. Box, jug, homemade, whatever. If it you like it and it makes you happy, go with it. It is, after all, Thanksgiving. A time to enjoy friends and family, and reflect on just how good we’ve got it compared to those poor saps who didn’t hit the lottery and get to be an American.

DblEagle's Aged Eggnog

DblEagle’s Aged Eggnog

  • Dozen egg yolks (reserve the whites for something else)
  • 1 lb sugar
  • 1 pint half and half
  • 1 pint heavy cream
  • 1 pint whole milk
  • 1 cup rum
  • 1 cup cognac
  • 1 cup bourbon
  • 1 teaspoon nutmeg ( freshly grated is best)
  • 1/4 teaspoon (kosher) salt
  1. Beat egg yolks, sugar and nutmeg until falls off a whisk in a smooth ribbon
  2. Combine the dairy, booze and salt in different container
  3. Slowly beat the booze mixture into the egg mixture
  4. Store in glass container(s) for 2 weeks to 2 months* in refrigerator
  5. Serve in glasses with nutmeg (fresh is best) garnish

* You can drink immediately (and I have) but the aging time enables the tastes to smoothly combine

Autumnal Cocktail from RC Dean

Autumnal Cocktail from RC Dean

Not sure what the name of this one is, but the maple syrup makes it very autumnal.

  • 3 oz. Rye or bourbon (- I prefer rye for just about any cocktail)
  • 3/4 oz. Orange Juice
  • 1/3 oz. Lemon Juice
  • 3/4 oz Dark Maple Syrup
  • 4-6 dashes bitters (Angostura works, but I also like Woodford Reserve Bourbon Barrel)
  • Seltzer couple ounces
  • Orange garnish (optional)
  1. I originally saw this “stirred, not shaken”. In my experience, you may not get the maple syrup to fully dissolve by stirring, so I prefer to make this one in my trusty shaker (also, drinks with citrus are classically shaken). The RC Dean method is to put everything but the seltzer and garnish in a shaker, pour over ice, top with seltzer and garnish.
  2. Protip: if you add the seltzer to the shaker, you will get a spectacular mess, so don’t do that.

Centrefield Cocktail by Shpip

Backstory on this one:  I was chatting with the bar staff at the Fenway Hotel in my hometown of Dunedin, FL.  This was February 2019, and the staff were bracing for the throngs of folks from Ontario who would be flocking down to catch the Florida sunshine and some Toronto Blue Jays spring training games (the hotel is within walking distance of the stadium where the Jays play).

Checking out their bar, I suggested this twist on the French 75. The Blue Jays’ centerfielder at the time was named Kevin Pillar, so the spirit involved and the name of the cocktail were a play on his name and position.  The hotel gave it a try, promoting it as their post-game “sundowner,” and started going through multiple cases of cava per day to keep up with demand.

I think it works quite well as an aperitif.

Centrefield Cocktail by Shpip

  • 1 1/2 oz Pilar dark rum (or other aged rum of your choice)
  • 1/2 oz turbinado simple syrup
  • 1/2 oz fresh lemon juice
  • Chilled cava or other sparkling wine
  1. Add rum, simple syrup, and lemon juice to a shaker with ice. Shake briskly for 20 seconds. Strain into a coupe or flute, top with sparkling wine.

APPETIZERS & BREADS

Artichoke Dip by jesse.in.mb

Artichoke Dip

Use fresh dill because dried dill is for little bitches, as is spinach in artichoke dip…get that filler out of here!

  • 1 14 ounce can artichoke hearts (drained)
  • 1 8 ounce package cream cheese
  • 1 cup grated good Parmesan cheese
  • 1/2 cup mayonnaise
  • 1 clove garlic peeled
  • 1 teaspoon dill weed or to taste
  1. Preheat oven to 400F
  2. Process the artichoke hearts in a food processor until smooth.
  3. Add cream cheese, Parmesan, mayonnaise, garlic and dill to the artichoke mixture in the food processor and process until desired texture, but well blended.
  4. Spoon into a 9-inch pie pan.
  5. Bake 10 to 15 minutes, or until bubbly and light golden brown.

SP’s Easy Dinner Rolls – Vegan (or Not)

SP’s Easy Dinner Rolls – Vegan (or Not)

(Use the ingredients in the parentheses for Not Vegan)

  • 2 tbsp white sugar ((or honey))
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1 2-1/4 tsp packet rapid-rise yeast
  • 2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour give or take – divided
  • 1/2 cup unsweetened plain almond milk ((or regular milk))
  • 1/4 cup water
  • 2 tbsp margarine and a bit more for finishing ((or butter))
  1. With a small whisk, combine the sugar, salt, yeast and 1 cup of flour in a small bowl.
  2. In a microwave safe bowl or measuring cup, heat milk, water, and margarine or butter to about 105F. If it’s too hot, let it cool a bit before using.
  3. Place the dry ingredients into the bowl of a food processor or stand mixer. With the machine running, pour in the liquid ingredients. Process or mix for 2 minutes or so. Scrape the bowl sides, add 1/2 cup more flour and beat or process until a soft dough forms, about 2 more minutes. The dough will be sticky, but should loosely hold its shape.
  4. If the dough is too soft, mix in the rest of the flour a tablespoon at a time until the dough is still soft but holds shape. Turn the dough out and let it rest on a floured surface, covered, for 10-15 minutes.
  5. Meanwhile, grease an 8-inch round cake pan. An actual 8-inch pan, not man “8-inches.”
  6. Divide the dough into 8-12 pieces and shape into rounds. (I am a little compulsive, so I weigh the dough to have rolls of the same size at the end.) Place the shaped rolls in the greased cake pan, cover and let rise until doubled, about 45 minutes.
  7. While the rolls are rising, preheat the oven to 375F.
  8. Bake the rolls for 20 minutes or until nicely browned. If you wish, brush the top of the rolls with a little melted margarine or butter. Serve pretty close to immediately.

And you thought you couldn’t bake yeast breads from scratch!

westernsloper's Candied Jalapenos

westernsloper’s Candied Jalapenos

There was a place in Phoenix (can’t remember the name) that topped one of their burgers with candied japs and it was great. I had to try and duplicate it and this is what I came up with.

  • 10 japs sliced
  • 6 baby carrots sliced longways into 1/4’s
  • 1 c water
  • 1/2 c White Vinegar
  • 1/2 c Apple Cider Vinegar
  • 1-1/2 c sugar
  1. Bring liquid to boil, add sugar and dissolve.
  2. Add japs and simmer/slow boil/reduce until mixture is bubbly and thick (couple hours or so).
  3. Jar it up and refrigerate. Top burgers, pulled pork, anything.

SP’s note: I bet this would be killer on a leftover-turkey sandwich!

Tulip's Mother's French Landlady's Bread Recipe

Tulip’s Mother’s French Landlady’s Bread Recipe

This no fuss recipe is what a French housewife actually made. To make the recipe even easier, my mother, who is in her 80s, uses a food processor to mix the dough. Just be careful not to over work it. I get better results with the spoon. If you over work it, you don’t get the air pockets.

  • 1/2 c scalded milk
  • 1 c water
  • 1 1/2 T sugar
  • 1-1/2 T butter
  • 1/4 c additional warm water
  • 1 pkg yeast
  • 4 c flour
  • 2 tsp salt
  • 1/2 T sugar
  1. Add 1 c water, butter and sugar to scalded milk.
  2. Cool to lukewarm.
  3. Add 1/4 c water and yeast. Rest 10 minutes.
  4. Add flour salt and sugar. Beat 100 strokes with wooden spoon.
  5. Let rise 2 hours.
  6. Cut into 2 and shape into loaves.
  7. Put loaves on greased sheet and sprinkle with cornmeal. Slash tops and let rise 30 minutes or more.
  8. Bake at 400 for 15 minutes then at 350 for 30 minutes more.

It is not as good as what you get with a poolish, but adding steam during the bake gets the flaky crust. It is also easy easy easy, so worth it. I use it as a canvas – so easy to change to a honey wheat or oatmeal etc. I also think of it as truly authentic.

My favorite variation is sub 1 cup oatmeal for 1 cup flour and replace the sugar with brown sugar. Put the oatmeal in a bowl with the butter and brown sugar. Pour the scalded milk over the oatmeal and let cool to lukewarm. Then continue as normal.

Jennifer Reese's Cornbread - contributed by jesse.in.mb

Jennifer Reese’s Cornbread

  • 6 tablespoons 3/4 stick unsalted butter
  • 1 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1 cup white or yellow cornmeal (whatever grind you like)
  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 4 teaspoons baking powder
  • 1 teaspoon kosher salt
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1 cup milk
  1. Preheat the oven to 375°F. Put the butter in a 10-inch pie plate and place it in the oven to melt.
  2. Mix the flour, cornmeal, sugar, baking powder, and salt in a large bowl. In a smaller bowl, whisk together the eggs and milk.
  3. When the butter has melted, take the pie plate out of the oven and swirl the butter around to coat the pan.
  4. Let it cool for 1 or 2 minutes, then pour the butter into the milk-egg mixture. Whisk to combine.
  5. Whisk the liquid into the dry mixture–not too strenuously. A few lumps are okay.
  6. Pour into the pie plate and bake for 25 minutes. When it is done, the bread will be slightly puffed and a toothpick inserted in the middle will come out clean.
  7. Serve immediately. Leftovers keep for a few days, covered, at room temperature.

Pistoffnick's Smoked Fish

Pistoffnick’s Smoked Fish

This is what my brother looks forward to every T-day. I do too.

  • 5 pounds salmon, trout or whitefish ((salmon is my favorite))

BRINE

  • 1 quart cool water
  • 1/3 cup kosher salt (about 2 ounces of any kosher salt)
  • 1 cup Stevia or 1 cup brown sugar if you are not low carb
  1. Cure the Fish. Mix together the brine ingredients and place your fish in a non-reactive container (plastic or glass), cover and put in the refrigerator. This curing process eliminates some of the moisture from the inside of the fish while at the same time infusing it with salt, which will help preserve the salmon.
  2. You will need to cure your salmon at least 4 hours, even for thin fillets from trout or pink salmon. In my experience, large trout or whitefish, as well as pink, sockeye and silver salmon need 8 hours. A really thick piece of king salmon might need as much as 36 hours in the brine. Never go more than 48 hours, however, or your fish will be too salty(there is no such thing as too salty, ok, maybe there is but…). Double the brine if it’s not enough to cover the fish.
  3. Dry the Fish. Take your fish out of the brine and pat it dry. Set the fillets on your cooling rack, skin side down. Ideally you’d do this right under a ceiling fan set on high, or outside in a cool, breezy place. By “cool” I mean 60°F or cooler. Let the fish dry for 2 to 4 hours (or up to overnight in the fridge). You want the surface of the fish to develop a shiny skin called a pellicle. This is one step many beginning smokers fail to do, but drying your cured, brined fish in a cool, breezy place is vital to properly smoking it. The pellicle, which is a thin, lacquer-like layer on top of the fish, seals it and offers a sticky surface for the smoke to adhere to. Don’t worry, the salt in the brine will protect your fish from spoilage. Once you have your pellicle, you can refrigerate your fish for a few hours and smoke it later if you’d like.
  4. Smoke your fish. Start by slicking the skin of your fish with some oil, so it won’t stick to the smoker rack. Know that even though this is hot smoking, you still do not want high temperatures. Start with a small fire and work your way up as you go. It is important to bring the temperature up gradually or you will get that white albumin “bleed” on the meat. I can control my heat with my smoker, so I start the process between 140°F and 150°F for up to an hour, then finish at 175°F for a final hour or two. NOTE: What my smoker is set at is not necessarily what the actual temperature is. Smoking is an art, not a science. To keep temperatures mild, always put water in your drip pan to keep the temperature down. If your smoker is very hot, like a Traeger can get, put ice in the tray. I generally soak apple wood chip in water for at least an hour, then drain them, then put them in an aluminum foil pouch. The pouch gets place next to the burners of your grill (which is set to low.
  5. Baste the Fish. After an hour in the smoker, baste the fish with water (or honey, or maple syrup); do this every hour. This is a good way to brush away any albumin that might form. In most cases, you will get a little. You just don’t want a ton of it. Even if you can’t control your temperature this precisely, you get the general idea. You goal should be an internal temperature of about 130°F to 140°F.
  6. You must be careful about your heat. Other than failing to dry your salmon long enough, the single biggest problem in smoking salmon is too high heat. If you’ve ever seen salmon “bleed” a white, creamy substance, that’s a protein called albumin, a little is normal.
  7. Cool and Store the Fish. Once your fish is smoked, let it rest on the cooling rack for an hour before you put it in the fridge. Once refrigerated and wrapped in plastic, smoked fish will keep for 10 days. If you vacuum-seal it, the fish will keep for up to 3 weeks. Or freeze your fish for up to a year. But, come on, stuff this good never lasts more than a week.

No-Knead Sourdough Bread Variations by jesse.in.mb

No-Knead Sourdough Bread Variations by jesse.in.mb

I’ve done a few variations of this with the addition of quarter cup of potato starch and doing it in the processor instead of no-knead. I did it half whole wheat and it still came out really well.

  • 1 cup 227g ripe (fed) sourdough starter
  • 1 3/4 cups 397g lukewarm water
  • 5 cups 602g King Arthur Unbleached Bread Flour
  • 1 tablespoon 18g salt
  • 2 teaspoons diastatic malt powder (optional for a more golden color and stronger rise)
  1. Weigh your flour; or measure it by gently spooning it into a cup, then sweeping off any excess.
  2. Combine all the ingredients in a large mixing bowl, or a large (6-quart) food-safe plastic bucket.
  3. Mix and stir everything together to make a sticky, rough dough. If you have a stand mixer, beat at medium speed with the paddle attachment for 30 to 60 seconds. If you don’t have a mixer, just stir with a big spoon or dough whisk until everything is combined.
  4. Leave the dough in the bucket or 6-quart bowl, cover it with the bucket’s lid or a piece of plastic wrap, and let it rise for 1 hour.
  5. Gently pick up the dough and fold it over on itself several times, cover it again, and let it rise for another hour.
  6. Repeat the rising-folding process one more time (for a total of 3 hours), folding it again after the last hour. Then, place the bucket or bowl in the refrigerator, and let the dough rest for at least 8 hours (or up to 48 hours).
  7. When you’re ready to make bread, turn the dough out onto a well-floured work surface, and shape it into a rough ball. Leave the dough seam-side up, cover it, and let it rest on a floured surface for 15 minutes.
  8. Next, shape the dough to fit the vessel in which you’ll bake it: a 13” log for a long covered baker; or a large boule (round) for a round baker or Dutch oven. Place the shaped dough into the lightly-greased or semolina-dusted base of the baker and cover it with the lid.
  9. Let the loaf warm to room temperature and rise; this should take about 2 1/2 to 3 hours. It won’t appear to rise upwards that much, but will relax and expand.
  10. With a rack positioned in the middle, start preheating the oven to 500°F one hour before you’re ready to bake.
  11. Just before baking, dust the loaf with a fine coat of flour and use a lame or a sharp knife to make one or several 1/2” deep slashes through its top surface. If you’re baking a long loaf, one arched slash down the loaf lengthwise is nice, or if baking a round, a crosshatch or crisscross pattern works well.
  12. Cover the baker with its lid and place it in the oven. Reduce the oven temperature to 450°F and bake the bread for 45 minutes.
  13. Remove the cover of the baker and bake the bread for 10 to 15 minutes longer, until the bread is deep golden brown and crusty, and a digital thermometer inserted into the center of the loaf reads at least 210°F.
  14. Remove the bread from the oven and transfer it to a rack to cool completely.
  15. Store leftover bread in a plastic bag at room temperature for several days; freeze for longer storage.

Pan Cornbread by Hayeksplosives

Pan Cornbread by Hayeksplosives

Good for making stuffing crumbs if you live in a horrid place where cornbread is not sold in stores.

  • 2 ½ cups all purpose flour
  • ½ cup coarse ground corn meal
  • ½ cup sugar
  • 4 tsp baking powder
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 2 cups skim milk
  • ¼ cup vegetable oil
  • 2 eggs beaten
  1. Heat oven to 400°. Grease 9×12 inch pan. Combine dry ingredients. Stir in milk, oil, and egg, mixing just until dry ingredients are moistened. Pour batter into prepared pan. Bake 20-25 minutes or until light golden brown and wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean.

Oyster Casserole by Shpip

Oyster Casserole By Shpip

  • 1 pint Oysters
  • 1-1/2 cups Cracker crumbs ((Saltines, if you have any in the cupboard.))
  • 1/2 Cup Butter
  • 1/3 Cup Cream
  • 1 Tsp Salt
  • 1/4 Tsp Black pepper
  • 2 Tbsp Parsley
  1. Drain the oysters, saving about a third of the oyster juice. Add the oyster juice to the cream.

  2. Grease a baking dish. Layer half the cracker crumbs on the bottom of the dish and half the oysters on top of the cracker crumbs. Mash the butter with a fork, then sprinkle half over the oysters. Layer the remaining crackers and oysters into the dish. Sprinkle them with the rest of the butter. Pour the mixture of oyster juice and cream on top, doing your best to cover the oysters, crackers, and butter completely, then dust the mixture of oyster juice and cream with the salt, pepper, and parsley.

  3. Place the dish in an oven pre-heated to 400 degrees. Bake for about 30 minutes, checking for doneness after 20.

Grandma Hyperbole's Escalloped Oysters

Grandma Hyperbole’s Escalloped Oysters

  • 1/2 cup bread crumbs
  • 1 cup cracker crumbs
  • 1/2 cup butter (melted)
  • 1 pint oysters
  • 3 tbsp milk
  • 1 1/2 tbsp oyster liquid
  • salt & pepper
  1. Alternate layers of crumbs and oysters.

  2. Pour butter, milk, and liquid over all.

  3. Bake 1/2 hour. Do not put lid on.

CRANBERRIES & SALADS

Semi-Spartan Dad's Cranberry Compote

Semi-Spartan Dad’s Cranberry Compote

These are simple recipes that are easy for anyone to reproduce. I don’t use measurements when cooking so these are just estimates. The recipes have been cobbled together from various sources over the years, including online sites, but I can’t remember where to give credit or where I modified. I set up a buffet of warming trays and my recipes are all portioned for the half-size trays (gravy excluded).

  1. Put (3) 1-pound bags of whole cranberries into large saucepot.
  2. Add 1.5 cup of orange juice, 2-1/4 cup sugar, nutmeg, pinch of cinnamon and salt.
  3. Start on high heat, once boiling- cover and turn down to simmer.
  4. Cook 30-35min and stir every 10 minutes. Turn heat off and let sit with cover for 20-25 min.
  5. Pour into tray and place in the fridge.

Spudalicious's Cranberry Sauce

Spudalicious’s Cranberry Sauce

  1. One bag cranberries, one cup sugar, one cup orange juice and some orange zest.
  2. Bring to a simmer and cook until the berries pop.

24 Hour Salad by Hayeksplosives

24 Hour Salad by Hayeksplosives

Stays good for days, even after tossing. Great with Thanksgiving leftovers.

  • 6 cups chopped lettuce 2-3 Romaine or one large iceberg (divided in half)
  • 1 teaspoon sugar
  • 1 teaspoon salt and pepper
  • 6 hard-boiled eggs sliced
  • 1 10- oz pkg frozen green peas thawed
  • 2 stalks celery chopped
  • 1 small can sliced black olives drained
  • 1 lb bacon cooked (drained and crumbled)
  • 16 ounces swiss or cheddar cheese (shredded. I usually chop pre-sliced swiss.)
  • 3/4 cup mayonnaise
  • 1/2 cup sour cream
  • 1/4 cup green onion chopped
  1. Place 3 cups lettuce in bottom of large glass bowl. (Doesn’t need to be glass, but it makes for a nice layered presentation before tossing.)
  2. Sprinkle with sugar, salt, and pepper.
  3. Layer eggs over lettuce, lining up a few around the edge of the bowl for looks.
  4. Layer peas, celery, olives, remaining lettuce, bacon, and cheese.
  5. Whisk together mayo and sour cream. Spread over top, sealing to edge of bowl.
  6. Sprinkle green onions over the top.
  7. Chill for 24 to 48 hours.
  8. Toss. Add a little cream or water if needed to thin dressing.
  9. Make additions/substitutions as desired.

KibbledKristen's Ma’s Grape Juice Mold

KibbledKristen’s Ma’s Grape Juice Mold

  • One box lemon gelatin
  • One box raspberry gelatin
  • 16 oz. one bag frozen unsweetened raspberries
  • 1 brick of cream cheese
  • 1 1/2 cups grape juice
  • 1/2 cup boiling water
  • ~2 tbsp sugar
  1. Coat a standard loaf pan with cooking spray.
  2. Place raspberries in a wire strainer over a large bowl and sprinkle sugar on top. Allow to thaw completely, tossing occasionally. Reserve juices.
  3. Bloom/dissolve lemon jello in boiling water (approx. 5 minutes). Add cream cheese and grape juice to blender. After jello is bloomed, crank blender to high and slowly pour in lemon jello while blender is running. Pour into loaf pan. Cover and refrigerate until jello is firm set.
  4. Add water to reserved raspberry juice to equal 1 3/4 cups (sometimes I go to 1 1/2 cups if the raspberries are particularly juicy). Nuke juice/water to just shy of boiling. Add raspberry jello and stir until dissolved. Gently stir in thawed raspberries.
  5. Cover and refrigerate raspberry jello until is it cool and egg white consistency. Pour/spoon raspberry jello over lemon jello/cream cheese in loaf pan. Cover and refrigerate at least 2 hours.
  6. Slice with a spatula and serve over a leaf of Bibb lettuce.

Web Dom's Bean Salad

Web Dom’s Bean Salad

  • 1 15 oz can black beans
  • 1 15 oz can garbanzo beans
  • 2 15 oz cans dark red kidney beans
  • 1 15 oz can great northern beans
  • 1 pkg frozen corn
  • 1 pkg frozen peas
  • 1 large white onion chopped

Dressing

  • 3/4 c olive oil
  • 2-1/2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
  • 2-1/2 tbsp white wine vinegar
  • 1 tsp balsamic vinegar
  • 1-1/2 tbsp maple syrup can be omitted
  • 1/2 tsp celery salt
  • 5 cloves garlic grated on a Microplane
  • 1/2 tsp black pepper freshly ground
  • salt (to taste)
  1. Drain and rinse beans.
  2. Combine with onion, peas, and corn in a large glass bowl.
  3. Make the dressing to taste, adjusting the vinegars, etc., as needed.
  4. Pour dressing over the veg.
  5. Mix well and chill before serving.

Aunt Dude’s Cranberry Salad / Garnish by Hayeksplosives

Aunt Dude’s Cranberry Salad / Garnish by Hayeksplosives

  • 1 lb ground cranberries
  • 2 ½ cups sugar
  • 1 lb. Red seedless grapes
  • 2-3 bananas
  • ½ cup pecans or walnuts (broken or coarsely chopped)
  • ½ pint sour cream
  1. Grind cranberries in blender, using water to cover while grinding and then straining the water out. Mix cranberries and sugar and let stand overnight for the sugar to dissolve and sweeten, then refrigerate until ready to mix. Chill grapes, bananas, and nuts several hours before mixing. Shortly before serving, add the grapes, bananas, nuts, and sour cream to the cranberry-sugar mixture and keep in the refrigerator until serving.

SOUPS & SIDES

Celeriac Gratin by OMWC

Celeriac Gratin by OMWC

Celeriac (celery root) is the red-headed stepchild of winter root vegetables. Yet this is a dish that Spudalicious and I used to make on the regular, and our non-vegetarian friends would start demanding it in advance. I can’t ever recall having leftovers. It features Raclette cheese, the pride of Switzerland. Gruyère will work but not be nearly as fun-funky. Take the trouble to find Raclette, and the Swiss kind is slightly better than French for this. Yes, this recipe makes a lot of pots to clean up, but that’s why God invented dishwashers and orphans. It’s worth it, trust me.

  • 2 lbs celeriac peeled and cubed (peeling is a pain in the ass, but necessary)
  • 2 lbs Yukon Gold potatoes ( peeled and cubed)
  • 1 c heavy cream
  • 1/2 c butter
  • 1/2 – 1 tsp saffron depending on your bank balance (it’s definitely cheaper in Indian groceries than at Whole Foods)
  • 2 cloves garlic finely minced
  • 1-1/2 c Gruyère grated
  • 1 c Raclette grated
  • Salt and pepper
  • 1/2 c Italian flat-leaf parsley (chopped)
  1. Boil the celeriac in salted water until it’s soft (check by piercing with a skewer or paring knife). Scoop out and drain. Return the water to a boil and add the potatoes, cooking until they’re soft. Drain.
  2. While the potatoes cook, heat the cream until it boils, then stir in the butter, saffron, and garlic. Reduce the heat, then simmer for 5 minutes until the saffron is extracted and the mixture slightly thickened. Set aside.
  3. In a large bowl, puree the celeriac (you could use a food processor; I prefer a hand-held Braun immersion blender), while gradually adding the cream sauce. Mash the potatoes coarsely, or use a ricer if you want a smoother texture. Combine the potato, celery root, and one cup of the Gruyère; season to taste with salt and pepper.
  4. Spread the mixture in a greased oven-proof dish, top with the remaining cheese and the parsley, then bake in a preheated 400F degree oven until the top is browned, about 20-30 minutes.

Wine pairing would include crisp whites like Seyval (Bully Hill makes an excellent and inexpensive one). Chardonnay from Macon or (if you’re lucky) Beaujolais is a superb match as well. I would not fart in your general direction if you defaulted to a dry Vouvray, which might be easier to find.

Mom Lachowsky's Chile Cheese Grits

Mom Lachowsky’s Chile Cheese Grits

  • 3 cups water
  • salt
  • 1 garlic clove minced
  • 1 cup quick-cooking grits
  • 1/2 cup butter cubed
  • 1-1/2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
  • 3 tablespoons chopped green chilies
  • 2 eggs
  • 1/2 cup milk
  1. Bring water, salt and garlic to a boil in a pan, then stir in grits.
  2. Reduce heat; cook and stir for 3-5 minutes or until thickened. Remove from the heat.
  3. Add butter, 1 cup cheese and chilies; stir until butter melts.
  4. Beat eggs and milk; add to the grits and mix well.
  5. Pour into a greased baking dish and then bake, uncovered, at 350° for 45 minutes.
  6. Sprinkle with remaining cheese and serve.

Chipping Pioneer's Party Potatoes

Chipping Pioneer’s Party Potatoes

  • 1 bag frozen hash brown potatoes little cube form (thawed)
  • 1/2 c butter (melted)
  • 2 c cheddar cheese (grated or your choice – – something smoked is good)
  • 1/2 c chopped onion
  • 2 c full fat sour cream (I cannot stress to the wife enough how low fat sour cream is inadequate yet there it is in the refrigerator)
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1 tin cream of chicken soup
  1. Preheat oven to 350F.
  2. Mixed thawed potatoes with melted butter.
  3. Add remaining ingredients and mix well.
  4. Spread in a greased 9×9 casserole dish.
  5. Bake 1 hour at 350.

Semi-Spartan Dad's Pecan Glazed Sweet Potato Casserole

Semi-Spartan Dad’s Pecan Glazed Sweet Potato Casserole

These are simple recipes that are easy for anyone to reproduce. I don’t use measurements when cooking so these are just estimates. The recipes have been cobbled together from various sources over the years, including online sites, but I can’t remember where to give credit or where I modified. I set up a buffet of warming trays and my recipes are all portioned for the half-size trays (gravy excluded).

  1. Roast 5 large sweet potatoes in oven for 1.25 hours @ 375F

  2. Mix sweet potato, 1/2 cup brown sugar, 2 beaten eggs, 1/2 teaspoon salt, 4 tbsp butter, 1/2 cup milk (cut with cream), 1/2 tsp vanilla extract, cinnamon. Place in baking dish.
  3. For topping: Mix 1/2 cup brown sugar and 1/3 cup flour. Cut 4 softened tbsp butter in until mixture is course. Stir in 1/2 cup chopped pecans.
  4. Layer topping over sweet potatoes. Bake 30 min @325F.

DblEagle's Zucchini Strudel

DblEagle’s Zucchini Strudel

  • 6-8 decent sized squash all zucchini or mix with yellow squash depending on your garden and taste
  • 8 eggs
  • dill
  • black pepper
  • 3-6 cloves garlic (minced)
  • 8 oz feta cheese
  • phyllo dough
  • melted butter
  1. Preheat oven to 350F.
  2. Grate squash.
  3. Layer into a strainer with salt between layers.
  4. Let drain 3 hours.
  5. In a bowl mix: Eggs, dill, black pepper and garlic. (Don’t be shy with the dill or garlic).
  6. Crumple feta cheese into the egg mixture.
  7. Mix the ingredients.
  8. Return to the squash. Squeeze the fluid out handful by handful (generally 2X per handful since drier the better).
  9. Add squash to egg mixture and mix well.
  10. Pour into baking pan/casserole pan.
  11. Cover the mix with 5-8 pieces of phyllo dough, covering dough with melted butter between layers.
  12. Bake at 350 for one hour.
  13. Serve hot or cold.

Mashed Potato Croquettes by Nephilium

Mashed Potato Croquettes by Nephilium

  • 3-4 lb. potatoes
  • 8 oz. butter
  • Salt and pepper to taste
  • Panko

Optional:

  • 4-6 strips of bacon (cut into lardons [small pieces] and fried)
  • 2-4 oz. shredded Cheddar cheese
  • 1/4-1/2 tsp. Roasted Garlic powder or crushed rosemary
  1. Cut the potatoes into equal sized pieces, and boil in salted water until fork tender (approximately 20 minutes). Mash the potatoes with the butter, salt, pepper, and any other optional ingredients. Let the mashed potatoes cool to the touch. Then roll them into approximately 1-2″ balls (or cylinders), and coat in panko.
  2. You have several options to finish them, you can either freeze them and then deep fry them (if you’re already deep frying your turkey), or you can oven roast them at ~350 F for 30-45 minutes (or until golden brown). If you’re baking them, and want them to get more golden, you can mix in a couple of drops of oil into the panko (you want it barely damp, not wet).

For the optional ingredients, do what ever flavors you want. Chorizo, Garlic, Cheddar, Bacon, Pancetta, Rosemary, Pepper jack, Sour Cream, Chives, Chipotle pepper are all valid options. Just remember you don’t want the potatoes too loose, and if you’re deep frying them, you may want to wrap the potatoes around any cheese to seal it in.

Leap's Cheesy Broccoli and Rice

Leap’s Cheesy Broccoli and Rice

Its exactly what the name suggests.  No picture, use your fucking imagination.  The trick is the use of sodium citrate ( https://www.cooksillustrated.com/science/830-articles/story/cooks-science-explains-sodium-citrate).  You can go order it now on the Internet and it will be here in real life in time.

  • Rice
  • Butter
  • Salt
  • Broccoli (fresh or thawed, but not cooked)
  • Chicken Stock
  • Sodium Citrate
  • Corn Starch
  • Cheese (get 2 or 3 kinds that don’t suck, and shred them)
  • Black Pepper Grinder
  • Hot Sauce (Minnesoda glibs can replace it with lemon juice, but you need the acid to prevent long strands of cheese)
  • No amounts listed because I hate you

Directions:

  1. A day before, make some rice and stash it in the fridge in a plastic bag. Once its cold, break up all the clumps. That’s why you used a bag.
  2. Start drinking. Once the cheese is shredded, there are no sharp tools involved.
  3. Heat a pot to medium heat. Melt the butter. Add broccoli and rice. Stir to combine.

  4. Add to pot just enough chicken stock to get everything a little wet. Add a few splashes of hot sauce and a few grinds of black pepper. Add salt.

  5. In a drinking glass, mix chicken stock and corn starch. Once mixed, add like 1/8 tablespoon of sodium citrate and mix again. Seriously my dude it doesn’t take much. Add to pot.
  6. Let sauce bubble a little and thicken. Once thickened, remove from heat.
  7. Immediately begin adding cheese one slow handful at a time and stir while adding. The cheese will melt into the protosauce. You should have pounded like two martinis on an empty stomach by this point, so yell out Chicken Gravy… Digivolve to Cheese Sauce!

  8. It is ready to serve once the cheese is melted and you’ve yelled loud enough to secure your position as “drunk Uncle at Thanksgiving”.

SP's Autumn Sweet Potato Soup

SP’s Autumn Sweet Potato Soup

I was looking for a way to make dinner just using ingredients on hand. This recipe was the result. It’s even vegan!

  • 2 large sweet potatoes
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 medium onion (chopped)
  • 1 large clove garlic (minced)
  • 1 teaspoon ground allspice
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground dry ginger
  • 1 cup dry white wine
  • 4 cups tomato puree
  • 1 cup vegetable broth
  • 1/4 cup peanut butter
  • Freshly ground black pepper and salt to taste
  1. After pricking sweet potatoes all over with a fork or knife, microwave until soft, about 10 minutes. Set aside to cool.
  2. Heat oil in a Dutch oven over medium heat. Add onion and sauté until the onion begins to brown. Add the garlic and cook, stirring, for another couple minutes.
  3. Add the ginger and allspice; cook, stirring, until fragrant.
  4. Deglaze the pan with the white wine.
  5. Add the tomato puree and vegetable broth to the pan. Simmer on medium high for 8-12 minutes.
  6. Scoop the soft pulp out of the cooked sweet potatoes and put into a food processor bowl. Add the peanut butter. Ladle in a couple cups of the cooking soup liquid. Process until smooth.
  7. Add the puréed sweet potato mixture to the Dutch oven, stirring well to incorporate.
  8. Thin the soup with more broth or wine, as desired.
  9. Heat again until hot. Taste and adjust seasoning.

Variation: You can add hot New Mexican green chile to individual bowls, if your diners are not wimps.

Cannoli's Carrot "Candy"

Cannoli’s Carrot “Candy”

When I was little, my parents rebranded this recipe from souffle to carrot candy in a successful attempt to get my sisters and me to try it (we were very picky eaters). The name was apt, and it became an instant holiday staple. It’s a little bit like mashed sweet potatoes, but better.

  • 2 lbs carrots
  • 1 cup butter or margarine
  • 4 large eggs
  • 1/3 cup all-purpose flour
  • 2 teaspoons baking powder
  • 2 cups sugar
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  1. Peel the carrots and slice thin (I slice them in the food processor to speed things up).
  2. Cook carrots in boiling water to cover, 15 minutes or until tender, drain well.
  3. Process carrot and remaining ingredients in a food processor until smooth, stopping once to scrape down sides.
  4. Spoon into 2 lightly greased 1 ½-quart souffle or baking dishes.
  5. Bake at 350 for 1 hour or until set and lightly browned.
  6. Serve immediately.

Holiday Brussels Sprouts by OMWC

Holiday Brussels Sprouts by OMWC

Spud and OMWC served this to many a Brussels sprouts skeptic, and no-one actually threw up. It’s excellent and became a holiday staple for us. Wine match: Gruener Veltliner

  • 1 – 1 ½ lbs – Brussels sprouts (you want the small, firm ones, IYKWIMAITYD)
  • 2-3 tbsp Olive oil
  • 2 tbsp Balsamic vinegar
  • 1/4 cup water or light vegetable broth
  • ¼ cup butter
  • ½ cup chopped pecans
  1. Trim off the outer leaves and the very bottom of the Brussels sprouts. Cut them in half lengthwise.
  2. In a heavy pan (cast iron works very well), add olive oil, then sauté the sprouts on their flat side over medium-high heat until they start to brown. Add the balsamic vinegar, turn the heat to low and cover.
  3. After a couple of minutes, add ¼ cup of water. Cook until the sprouts start to soften, ~ 8-10 minutes. They should brown but not burn.
  4. Turn the heat back up to high, add the butter and the pecans. Saute for a minute or so, until the pecans are lightly toasted.
  5. Add salt and pepper to taste, then introduce your new little friends to whomever is having dinner with you.

Gender Traitor's Tortellini Soup

Gender Traitor’s Tortellini Soup

The following is a recipe I got from my MIL. We usually serve it when we host my two sisters and BIL for Christmas.

  • 1 lb. bulk Italian sausage
  • 9 oz. pkg. cheese tortellini
  • 9 oz. pkg. spinach tortellini (I usually get one 20 oz. pkg of mixed tortellini instead of the two 9 oz. pkgs.)
  • 1/2 lb. shredded cabbage
  • 2 med. zucchini (sliced)
  • 1 med. green pepper (diced)
  • 4 green onions (sliced)
  • 3 med. tomatoes (diced)
  • 3 tbsp. basil
  • 5 10-1/2 oz. cans beef broth (or 6 1/4 cups from boxed broth)
  • 6 cups water
  • Parmesan cheese
  1. Make Italian sausage into small balls. Add all ingredients except cheese. Cook until sausage is done and veggies are tender. (I like to cook it long enough for the cheese from the tortellini to thicken the broth nicely.) Top with cheese.

Molasses Glazed Carrots by Chipwooder

Molasses Glazed Carrots by Chipwooder

Here’s one of my favorite Tgiving sides. It’s unhealthy as all hell but hey, it’s Thanksgiving!

  • 1 lbs baby carrots
  • half a stick of butter
  • 1 tbsp sugar
  • 1/4 cup dark molasses
  • 1/2 tsp freshly grated ginger
  • 1/4 tsp allspice
  • pinch of salt
  1. Parboil the carrots for until they start to soften, usually 10-15 minutes. Drain them.
  2. Melt the butter in a skillet, stir in the rest of the ingredients.
  3. Turn the heat up to medium-high, let the mixture start boiling a bit, nice and thick and syrupy.
  4. Add the carrots, reduce the heat to low, simmer for about 10 minutes, stirring frequently to coat.

Tortellini Bowling Soup by Spudalicious

Tortellini Bowling Soup by Spudalicious

  • 1 lb Italian sausage (hot, mild, or a combination)
  • 1 cup coarsely chopped onions
  • 2 cloves garlic (minced)
  • 46 oz beef stock
  • 1/2 cup water
  • 1/2 cup red wine
  • 14 oz can diced tomatoes
  • 1 cup tomato sauce
  • 1 cup thinly sliced carrots
  • 1/2 tsp dried basil
  • 1/2 tsp dried oregano
  • 6 oz fresh spinach (coarsely chopped)
  • 1 red (or yellow bell pepper, chopped)
  • 8 oz package of fresh cheese tortellini
  1. Brown sausage in a dutch oven(remove casings first if they are links. Remove to a bowl.
  2. Saute onions and garlic in sausage drippings.
  3. Add next eight ingredients and the sausage, bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer. Simmer for 30 minutes.
  4. Add spinach, tortellini and bell pepper. Simmer for another 30 minutes.
  5. Ladle into a bowl, sprinkle with Parmesan.

3 Bean Casserole by A dedicated but mostly worthless lurker

3 Bean Casserole by A dedicated but mostly worthless lurker

  • 1/2 to 1 pound hamburger
  • 1/2 pound bacon
  • 1/2 cup onion
  • 1/2 cup catsup (hey it's on the recipe card)
  • 3/4 cup brown sugar
  • 1 teaspoon ground dry mustard
  • 2 teaspoons white vinegar
  • 1/2 cup white sugar
  • 1- 8 oz can Van Camps pork and beans in tomato sauce (do not use Bushes)
  • 1- 15.5 oz light red kidney beans
  • 1- 15.5 oz can lima beans (drained)
  1. Cook bacon reserving the drippings.
  2. Brown the hamburger and onions in a few tablespoons of the bacon grease. Set aside to cool.
  3. Mix in the rest of the ingredients.
  4. Bake covered at 350 degrees fahrenheit for 40 minutes or overnight in a crockpot on low. (Our preferred method. Be aware most newer crockpots don’t have a true low temperature setting. It may need adjustments to timing to avoid overcooking.)

*This was the Tulpa’s own signature, not a judgement by TPTB.

Mashed Potatoes by Another Tulpa
Turkey Day is about tradition – make the same stuff you made last year, the same way you made it last year. I don’t want to hear about your recipe for Pork Tenderloin Tartare with Artichoke Compote in a Transmission Fluid Reduction Sauce. If you want to try something new, maybe pick up some Russell Stover’s instead of a Whitman Sampler or Baby Dills instead of Polish Dill Spears or Bunny brand Brown-n-Serve Rolls instead of the Sunbeam brand. (They’re both made by the same bakery anyways.)
  
You get turkey, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, sweet potato souffle, corn, corn bread dressing, giblet gravy, dinner rolls, deviled eggs, pickles, olives, assorted crackers, summer sausage, 3 kinds of cheese, one of them which is that white cheese with the jalapenos in it, to put on the crackers, carrot sticks and celery sticks, pumpkin pie, pecan pie, a couple of cans of mixed nuts, a big box of chocolates and egg nog. And a big bottle of Southern Comfort.
 
Now here’s how you make the mashed potatoes, don’t follow the suggestion of whatever jackass posted something on the board about how to make mashed potatoes. Get you a 5-pound bag of red potatoes, peel them half-assedly so you got some skin left on ’em. Chunk them up roughly in a big pot of water, bring to a boil, reduce heat to a slow boil and cook ’em about 15-20 minutes. Be careful and check frequently as they get close – you want the smaller chunks soft enough to be falling apart but the bigger chunks to have a bit of tooth to them still.
 
Drain ’em and throw them in a big bowl, add a stick of butter, sliced up, along with an unhealthy amount of salt and pepper, a little dash of onion powder and a littler dash of garlic powder. You’re not making onion-darlic potatoes, you’re just adding a hint a flavor to the potatoes so don’t overdo the onion and garlic powders.
 
Next add about a cup or so of mayonnaise. What, you don’t add mayonnaise to your mashed potatoes? Bless your heart.
 
Now here’s the important part – mash them taters up with a hand masher or an electric mixer with only one blade in it. Be gentle! You’re making mashed potatoes, not whipped potatoes. You gotta have lumps! The potatoes need to be stiff and fairly dry so they can soak up that gravy, and they gotta be lumpy so you know you’re eating potatoes instead of slorping up some kind of glorified wall-paper paste. Which is what whipped potatoes are, they’re an abomination unto the Lord what created potatoes.
 
Now, if you need something to top the potatoes with other than gravy, I suppose you could have a little dish of sour cream, shredded cheese, chopped chives, or bacon bits so people could add what they liked. Or a big dish of cottage cheese, which is my preferred topping for mashed potatoes. .

VEGETARIAN MAIN COURSES

SP's Savory Stuffed Squash

 

SP’s Savory Stuffed Squash

Perfect for a main vegetarian course for the holiday table. Depending on how many vegetarians are dining with you, use either acorn squash for individual servings, or butternut squash for a larger group.

Squash

  • 4-6 acorn squashes OR
  • 1 large butternut squash
  • 1-2 tbsp olive oil
  • 1/2 tsp salt

Stuffing

  • 1 tbsp olive oil
  • 2 large carrots (diced)
  • 3 stalks celery (diced )
  • 1 cup mushrooms (omit if WebDom is dining!) (diced)
  • 1/2 small yellow onion (diced)
  • 1 small red onion (diced)
  • 3 cloves garlic (minced)
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1/2 tsp freshly ground black pepper
  • 1/2 cup wild rice
  • 1/2 cup quinoa (or white rice) (rinsed and drained)
  • 1 cup dry white wine
  • 1 cup vegetable broth
  • 1 tsp Bragg's liquid aminos
  • 1 tbsp nutritional yeast
  • 1/2 cup pecans (chopped and toasted)
  • 1/2 cup dried cranberries
  • 1 tsp fresh sage (minced)
  • 1/2 tsp fresh thyme

For the topping

  • 1/4-1/2 cup panko bread crumbs
  • 1 tsp nutritional yeast
  • 1-2 tbsp olive oil

For the squash

  1. Preheat oven to 350F.

  2. If using acorn squash, cut the tops off and scoop out the seeds. If using butternut squash, cut in half lengthwise and scoop out the seeds. Do not peel.

  3. Drizzle the exposed surface of the squash with the olive oil and sprinkle with salt. place on oiled baking sheet.

  4. Bake until tender; about 30-45 minutes for acorn squash or 60-75 minutes for butternut squash.

  5. Remove from oven and allow to cool until easy to handle.

  6. Scoop out flesh, leaving 1/2 inch of flesh all around inside the shell. Place removed squash flesh in a bowl and set aside. You'll be adding it back to the stuffing later.

For the stuffing

  1. While the squash is baking, heat a skillet over medium heat and add the olive oil.

  2. When the oil is hot, add carrots, celery, mushrooms, onions and garlic to the skillet. Season with the salt and pepper, and sauté until the vegetables are tender and beginning to brown.

  3. Stir the wild rice into the skillet. Pour the wine, broth and liquid aminos over the ingredients in the skillet. Sprinkle with the nutritional yeast. Cover and let simmer for 15-20 minutes.

  4. Add the quinoa to the pan and continue simmering, covered, until the liquid is absorbed and the wild rice is tender. You may need to add a little more broth or wine.

  5. Add the pecans, dried cranberries, sage, and thyme and stir thoroughly.

  6. Add the reserved squash flesh to the vegetable and grain mixture. Stir thoroughly. Taste for seasoning and adjust as needed. If the stuffing seems too dry, add a bit of white wine and stir again.

For the topping

  1. Mix the panko and nutritional yeast in a small bowl. Add the olive oil and mix thoroughly.

Assembly and Baking

  1. Fill squash shells with the stuffing mixture, packing firmly. Set on an oiled baking sheet or in an oiled baking dish.

  2. Sprinkle topping onto stuffed squash.

  3. Bake at 350F for 35 minutes or until heated through and topping is golden brown and crispy.

  • Cooking times for different wild rices vary dramatically, just pay attention. Add liquid as needed.
  • Almost any grain will work in this dish. I often make it with leftover cooked barley. Likewise, use any vegetables you like. This is just my go-to combination for the autumn and winter holidays.
  • Wine adds a very nice touch, but feel free to use all vegetable broth or substitute apple juice for the wine.
  • This dish can be made a couple days in advance. Assemble the squash but don’t add the topping until ready to bake. Wrap tightly and refrigerate. When ready to bake, remove the wrapping, add the topping and place in the oven. Cooking time will obviously need to be increased to heat through when cooking from refrigerated.

A Base Baked Mac & Cheese Recipe by Nephilium

A Base Baked Mac & Cheese Recipe by Nephilium

  • 2 tbsp fat (oil/butter/bacon grease/lard/chorizo fat/etc)
  • 2 tbsp flour
  • 2 cup dairy
  • ~8 oz shredded cheese
  • 1/3-1/2 cup breadcrumbs
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • Nutmeg
  • Bay Leaf
  • Meats/Seasonings/flavorings
  • 8 oz cooked pasta (macaroni is the traditional one)
  1. Preheat the oven to 350 F
  2. Start by making a roux with the fat and flour. Melt the fat down, and whisk in the flour. Keep whisking, while cooking over a low heat until the flour is mixed into the fat, and it starts turning a light tan. At this point, add in the 2 cups of dairy (milk/cream/whatever you prefer), whisk this to evenly distribute the roux in the liquid.

  3. Bring this to a low simmer, and then start slowly adding in your cheese while whisking it. You want the cheese to melt, and keeping the heat low will help prevent the sauce from breaking. For cheeses, I would recommend using at least one good melting cheese (jack, gouda, mozzarella, etc.) for 2-4 ounces of the cheese. Add in a dash of nutmeg, a dash of salt, a couple of grinds of pepper, and a bay leaf. Then let the sauce simmer for ~20 minutes, whisking frequently.
  4. Remove the bay leaf, then mix in the cooked pasta. Put this into a baking dish, and top with the bread crumbs (I usually toast them in butter or the fat I used to make the roux). Put this into the oven and bake it for 20-30 minutes.

Porcini and Pea Risotto by OMWC

Porcini and Pea Risotto by OMWC

There’s a million ways to shorten the risotto cooking process, and you can find lots of recommendations. This will usually result in an acceptable product. But this is a holiday, we want better than acceptable. We want terrific. Don’t cut corners.

  • 1 small yellow onion (diced fairly fine)
  • 1 cup Carnaroli rice (you can use Arborio, but that shows your family that you have ceased to love them)
  • 2-3 tbsp good olive oil
  • 1/2 cup white wine (resist the temptation to use a red, and use a decent dry white)
  • 5 cups roasted vegetable stock (or use chicken if you’re a murderer)
  • 1 pinch saffron
  • 1/2-1 oz dried porcini
  • 1/2 cup peas (frozen will do)
  • 2 tbsp fresh chopped Italian parsley (with extra for garnish)
  • 1-2 tbsp butter (or high quality extra virgin olive oil (optional))
  • 1/4 cup freshly grated Reggiano parmesan (plus extra for finishing)
  • Salt and pepper
  1. Soak the porcini in 1 cup of very hot water until soft (~ 60 minutes). Squeeze them dry and rinse them briefly under cold running water to get off any grit. Cut into small pieces, discarding overly tough bits. Strain the soaking liquid through a double layer of cheesecloth and a strainer, or through a coffee filter and set aside.
  2. The stock needs to be in a separate pot on the stove at a strong simmer. (A note on canned stocks, they can be awfully salty and can even impart a metallic taste to your dish. If we're desperate enough to use canned, we usually cut it one to one with water, and perk it up with some MSG, a bay leaf, and a little soy sauce). You’ll need a ladle to add the stock with and a strong spoon or spatula to stir the risotto. The pot for the risotto needs to be large (5 quart will work well) and as heavy as possible. An enameled Le Crueset pot works very well, as will most heavy stock pots.

  3. Sweat the onions in the olive oil over medium high heat until translucent, about 5-8 minutes. Don’t let them brown. Add the rice, and continue to stir for a couple of minutes until just before it starts to brown, then stir in the porcini. Stir around for a minute.
  4. At this point, add the wine and continue to stir the rice. As the liquid is absorbed, add the reserved mushroom soaking water. At the same time, add the saffron. Continue stirring, adding stock as the liquid is absorbed; the classic way to tell when it’s time to add liquid is by dragging the spoon or spatula along the bottom of the pan. If the liquid immediately comes back, keep stirring. When the streak parts the Red Sea, add stock. You’ll likely end up using most of the 5 cups.
  5. As the rice gets closer to being done, the liquid will not absorb as quickly, so you will need to decrease the amount you put in each time. After 18-20 minutes, taste the rice for doneness. It should be al dente but not crunchy and not mushy. If it’s not done, cook it a couple of minutes longer and test it again. If it’s mushy, better luck next time.
  6. At the point it reaches al dente, stir in the peas, butter (optional), parsley, and parmesan, and adjust the seasoning. You won’t need very much pepper, if any. Add a little more stock if you like a looser risotto. The rice should be smooth and creamy without being soupy or clumpy. Serve it up, and top it with the reserved cheese, a drizzle of the best extra virgin olive oil you can dig up, and a little more parsley.

Spud and I made a version of this in Italy for a contest against a real chef. Judged by the chef’s friends and family. We kicked his ass.

For wine, I’d pair this with a Northern Italian red like a Spanna or (even better) a Nebbiolo d’Alba.

TURKEY & DRESSING & GRAVY

Semi-Spartan Dad's Stuffing/Dressing

Semi-Spartan Dad’s Stuffing/Dressing

These are simple recipes that are easy for anyone to reproduce. I don’t use measurements when cooking so these are just estimates. The recipes have been cobbled together from various sources over the years, including online sites, but I can’t remember where to give credit or where I modified. I set up a buffet of warming trays and my recipes are all portioned for the half-size trays (gravy excluded).

  1. Get 1.5 loaves of French or Italian bread, cut in half, dice into cubes
  2. Toss cubes in bowl with melted butter, olive oil, and seasoning (pepper, salt, sage)
  3. Put in oven on sheet tray for about 15 minutes
  4. Toss cubes in large bowl with salt, pepper
  5. Add sautéed green onions and mushrooms
  6. Add chicken broth to moisten bread (maybe cup and half)
  7. Place in casserole dish and bake in oven for 35-40 minutes @ 350F

Semi-Spartan Dad's Gravy

Semi-Spartan Dad’s Gravy

I don’t use measurements when cooking so these are just estimates. The recipes have been cobbled together from various sources over the years, including online sites, but I can’t remember where to give credit or where I modified.

  1. Add giblets to sauce pot with a couple celery stalks, few carrots, half an onion, bay leaves, and parsley.
  2. Fill to top with cold water and simmer while the turkey cooks. Replenish as the liquid cooks down but not close to the end as doing so dilutes the flavor
  3. If roasting a turkey, pour everything in turkey roasting dish through a strainer into new, clean stockpot. If not roasting, there should still be plenty in the giblet stockpot.
  4. Pour the giblet stockpot through strainer into said stockpot (use back of spoon to work through strainer)
  5. Taste, now is the time to add salt and pepper, if needed, and a heavy dose of sage
  6. Use beurre manié or corn starch slurry (1:1) to thicken
  7. Thicken with whisk at slightly below boiling
  8. Place gravy pot in cast iron pan to keep warm

Playa Manhattan's Superior Turkey & Gravy

Playa Manhattan’s Superior Turkey & Gravy

If you’re roasting your turkey whole, you’re doing it wrong.

  1. Dark meat: Dry rub and rest for 6 hours. Tightly wrapped in foil, 300F for 6 hours.
  2. White meat: 2 day brine in pineapple juice, MSG and friends, citrus peel, sodium phosphate 10%, smoked salt, peppercorns, and powdered bay leaf. Sous Vide at 145F for 3 hours, 5 minute sear at the end.
  3. Gravy: 1 container Empire Kosher Chicken fat, 2/3rds cup flour. Cook to blonde roux. Add 3 cups rich unseasoned veal stock, whisk in. Seasoned with onion salt, yeast extract, MSG and helpers, and a touch of garlic powder. Skim unincorporated fat from the top.

I’m pretty comfortable serving this to 30 people next week.

How To Roast a Stuffed Turkey by Count Potato

How To Roast a Stuffed Turkey by Count Potato

Based on casual observation most people do it wrong. They try using bacon, aluminum foil, etc. to keep the bird from drying out. Or they soak it in brine which alters the taste and consistency of the meat. Whereas the best way is to keep the natural juices inside the turkey from the beginning.

  1. Get a covered roasting pan with a rack. Mine has a tight-fitting lid with an adjustable vent.
  2. Preheat the oven to 325°F.
  3. Find out how much the turkey weighs. If you bought from a store, it will be written on a label on the package. Otherwise, weigh it on a scale.
  4. Wash, dry, and stuff the turkey. Make sure to sew the neck and tail openings shut. Season it with salt and pepper. I also rub the outside with a mixture of dried herbs. The important thing is that the skin is well-salted.

  5. Place the bird on the rack in the pan. Then pour in a quart of low-salt stock or broth. I used to use chicken stock before turkey broth became widely available.
  6. Cover it with the lid. Put it in the oven.
  7. Estimate the total cooking time by multiplying the weight in pounds by 20 minutes. Leave it in the oven for half that time without opening the lid. No peeking.
  8. After half the total estimated cooking time has passed, remove the lid. Don’t be dismayed if the turkey “looks boiled”. It’s because it will be covered in a whitish pellicle. This is a coating of fat and proteins that will waterproof the bird like Flex Seal. This was demonstrated by the Indians at the first Thanksgiving by sawing a canoe in half.
  9. If you use a thermometer, stick through the center of one of the breasts while being careful not to touch any bone. Put it back in the oven uncovered. Do not baste it until the skin begins to turn golden brown. When it’s done, the legs should move freely, and there shouldn’t be a large amount of liquid pooled around the thighs. You can check by taking a thin knife and cut above where the thigh attaches to the back — there shouldn’t be any pink flesh or red blood around the joint.
  10. After you remove it from the oven. Let it sit for 15 – 20 minutes before carving. I move it to a dish, so I can make gravy from the roasting pan during this time.
  11. Osteoporosis!

Deep Fried Turkey by mexicansharpshooter

Deep Fried Turkey by mexicansharpshooter

This is a dangerous but delicious dish to make.

  • 20 lbs Turkey

For the brine

  • 1 gallon water
  • 1 gallon broth doesn’t matter what kind chicken broth is plentiful and cheap
  • 2 cups kosher salt
  • 1 jar whole cloves
  • 2 lemons
  • 2 pkgs fresh rosemary (You can substitute dried but why cheap out?)
  • ginger root ( You can use candied ginger, but I like to shred it and throw it in the brine. Get as much as you dare.)

For frying

  • 2 gallons peanut oil minimum – see instructions

The brine

  1. Mix the brine and let the thawed turkey soak in it at least overnight, the longer the better. I normally go 2 nights.

The fryer

  1. Incidentally, Underwriters Laboratory does not place their coveted seal on any gas fired turkey fryer. This is a dangerous item to have, and can result in serious injury if you are not careful. Especially if you are like me and know how to bypass the thermocouple that acts as a safety device but prevents the oil from getting hot enough. If you are faint of heart—just roast it like the Nancy Boy you are and take up valuable oven space.

The process

  1. Now that we got that out of the way. You will need a minimum of 2 gallons of peanut oil. Prior to brining, you will need to establish the turkey’s overall displacement by filling the pot with water and marking where the turkey rests in the pot completely submerged. This may exceed the “Do not fill above this line” written inside the pot, but if you made it this far, you probably are ignoring the safety people anyway.
  2. Remove the bird from the brine, and let it dry. A wet turkey will cause you to have a very bad day, and will prove the Nancy Boys at UL right. Don’t do that.
  3. Set the bird in the stand butt down, wings tucked back. Put it in the pot of hot oil SLOWLY.
  4. Ideally, the oil should average around 350F (I can’t help you if you are in Canada), but remember the turkey is cold and will drop the temperature of the oil once you set it in there. I’m usually able to keep it between 325-350F without setting my yard on fire. 3 1/2 minutes per pound should net a result that is moist on the inside, and delightfully crisp skin in the outside. This needs to sit at least 30 mins before carving.

Tundra's Go-To Turkey Recipe For Those with Rotisserie Grills

Tundra’s Go-To Turkey Recipe For Those with Rotisserie Grills

Rotisserie Turkey, Dry Brined with Orange and Spices by Mike Vrobel

Inspired by: Lots of different sources.

  • 12 to 14 lb Turkey
  • fist sized chunk of smoking wood (hickory, oak, pecan or a fruit wood; I love oak wine barrel staves)

Dry Brine

  • 1/4 cup kosher salt (I used Diamond Crystal; reduce to 3 tbsp if using Mortons, because it is denser.)
  • Zest of 1 orange (save the orange, cut in half and wrapped in plastic wrap to stuff the turkey)
  • 1 teaspoon brown sugar
  • 1 teaspoon grated fresh ginger (about a 1/2 inch piece)
  • 1 teaspoon grated fresh garlic (2 cloves)
  • 1/2 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
  1. Dry brine the turkey: 1 to 3 days before it is time to cook, dry brine the turkey. Mix the dry brine ingredients in a small bowl, then sprinkle and rub evenly over the turkey. Make sure to rub some inside the cavity of the turkey as well. Put the turkey on a rack over a roasting pan or baking sheet, and cover with plastic wrap. Refrigerate, removing the plastic wrap the night before cooking to allow the skin to dry. (If you are only dry brining for 24 hours, skip the plastic wrap.)
  2. Prep the Turkey: One hour before cooking, remove the turkey from the refrigerator. Stuff the turkey with the halves of the orange, then truss and skewer with the rotisserie spit. Put the zip lock bag full of ice on the breast, not touching the legs or drumsticks, to chill the breast meat until cooking. Put the wood chunk in a bowl of water to soak.
  3. Prep the rotisserie: Prepare the rotisserie for cooking on indirect medium heat (see details here). For my Weber kettle, I light a chimney 3/4 full of charcoal and wait for it to be covered with ash. Then, instead of pouring it in my usual two piles on the side of the grill, I pour it in a U shape at one end of the grill (see picture below). I put the drip pan in the middle of the U of charcoal. Finally, put the wood chunk on top of the charcoal, and give it five minutes to start smoking.
  4. *If you are using a gas grill, check out my basic Rotisserie Turkey recipe for setup instructions. If you’re using a Weber Summit with a infrared rotisserie burner, set the grill up as shown in this recipe. If you don’t have a rotisserie, Weber Kettle instructions are in this recipe.
  5. Cook the turkey: Put the spit on the grill, with the leg side of the bird inside the “U” of coals. Cook the turkey with the lid closed; it will take 2 to 3 hours (usually about 2 1/2 hours for a 12 pound turkey). Every hour, add 24 fresh charcoal briquettes to the grill, nestling them into the burning charcoal. Start checking the temperature in the breast with an instant read thermometer at 2 hours. The turkey is done when the breast meat registers 155*F to 160*F in its thickest part. Remove the turkey from the grill, remove the spit from the turkey, and cut the trussing twine loose. Let the turkey rest for 15 to 30 minutes before carving.
  6. Carve the turkey: If you have a favorite way of carving a turkey, go ahead and use it. My preferred method: Cut the legs free from the body of the bird, and cut the drumsticks away from the thighs. I leave the drumsticks whole (my favorite part!) and slice the meat from the thighs in 1/2″ slices for dark meat lovers. Next, I cut the entire breast half from one side of the bird by working my knife down the keel bone from the top down to the wing, following the inside of the ribcage. Once the breast half is free of the bird, it is easy to slice into 1/2″ thick slices on my carving board. I repeat with the other breast half. Finally, I cut each wing away from the carcass, and separate the drumette from the wing, and the wing from the wingtip. I arrange all these pieces on a platter and serve.

*Fresh vs Frozen: There are two advantages to a fresh turkey. The first is they are rarely pre-brined, which is redundant because of the dry brine. (Watch out for the words “enhanced with a X% solution” or “pre-basted”) The second advantage to fresh turkey is no thawing is needed! If you have to get a frozen bird, make sure to leave an extra three days or so to thaw it in the refrigerator before staring the dry brine; start thawing it about a week before you’ll need it.

Tundra's Go-To Turkey Recipe For Those with a Slow N' Sear (or similar)
Southern Cornbread Stuffing by Hayeksplosives

Southern Cornbread Stuffing by Hayeksplosives

  • 6 cups crumbled cornbread
  • 3 cups soft bread crumbs
  • 4 ounces butter
  • 2 cups onion (chopped)
  • 2 cups finely chopped celery
  • 3 to 4 cups chicken broth
  • 2 cups chicken (diced (optional; I omit this for accompanying turkey))
  • 1 heaping teaspoon dried sage (crumbled)
  • 1 ½ teaspoons dried leaf thyme (crumbled)
  • 1 teaspoon dried marjoram (crumbled)
  • ½ teaspoon dried rosemary (chopped)
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • ½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
  • 2 eggs (lightly beaten)
  1. Heat the oven to 400°F. In a large mixing bowl, combine the cornbread and white bread crumbs. In a saucepan over medium heat, sauté the onion and celery in butter until tender. Do not brown. Combine the sautéed vegetables with the bread mixture. Stir in chicken broth, using enough to moisten. Stir in the diced chicken, if using, and the seasonings and beaten eggs, blending well. Spread the mixture in a large shallow baking or roasting pan measuring about 10” x 15”.
  2. It is important to use a big shallow baking pan rather than a 9”x12” pan in order to get the stuffing well spread out to brown evenly and not be soggy in places.

Honey-Brined Turkey with Giblet Cream Gravy by Hayeksplosives

Honey-Brined Turkey with Giblet Cream Gravy by Hayeksplosives

(This is the way Dad bakes turkey- extremely tender, moist, just easily the best turkey!)

About the accompanying gravy, Janet Fletcher, food writer, says, “My grandmother could never seem to make enough of her creamy giblet gravy; everyone always wanted more. We poured it over the mashed potatoes, dressing and turkey, then over open-face sandwiches the next day. Of course, it’s great with this turkey, too: The bird gets its incredible moistness from being soaked overnight in a brine enhanced by thyme, garlic cloves, and honey.” Because of the brining process, we don’t recommend stuffing this turkey.

Turkey

  • 1 19- to 20- pound turkey (neck, heart and gizzard reserved for gravy)
  • 8 quarts water
  • 2 cups coarse salt
  • 1 cup honey
  • 2 bunches fresh thyme
  • 8 large garlic cloves (peeled)
  • 2 tablespoons coarsely cracked black pepper
  • 2 lemons (halved)
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 5 cups canned low-salt chicken broth (approximately)

Gravy

  • Reserved turkey neck, heart and gizzard
  • 6 cups water
  • 3 1/2 cups canned low-salt chicken broth
  • 2 carrots (coarsely chopped)
  • 1 onion (halved)
  • 1 large celery stalk (chopped)
  • 1 small bay leaf
  • 5 tablespoons butter
  • 5 tablespoons all purpose flour
  • 1/4 cup whipping cream

For turkey:

  1. Line extra-large stockpot with heavy large plastic bag (about 30-gallon capacity). Rinse turkey; place in plastic bag. Stir 8 quarts water, 2 cups coarse salt and 1 cup honey in large pot until salt and honey dissolve. Add 1 bunch fresh thyme, peeled garlic cloves and black pepper. Pour brine over turkey. Gather plastic bag tightly around turkey so that bird is covered with brine; seal plastic bag. Refrigerate pot with turkey in brine at least 12 hours and up to 18 hours.
  2. Position rack in bottom third of oven and preheat to 350°F. Drain turkey well; discard brine. Pat turkey dry inside and out. Squeeze juice from lemon halves into main cavity. Add lemon rinds and remaining 1 bunch fresh thyme to main cavity. Tuck wings under turkey; tie legs together loosely to hold shape. Place turkey on rack set in large roasting pan BREAST SIDE DOWN. Rub turkey all over with 2 tablespoons olive oil.
  3. Roast turkey 1 hour. Remove from oven and turn BREAST SIDE UP. Baste turkey with 1 cup chicken broth. Continue to roast until turkey is deep brown and thermometer inserted into thickest part of thigh registers 180°F, basting with 1 cup chicken broth every 30 minutes and covering loosely with foil if turkey is browning too quickly, about 2 1/2 hours longer. Transfer turkey to platter. Tent turkey loosely with foil and let stand 30 minutes. Pour pan juices into large glass measuring cup. Spoon off fat; reserve juices.

For gravy:

  1. While turkey cooks, place reserved turkey neck, heart and gizzard into large saucepan. Add 6 cups water, 3 1/2 cups chicken broth, carrots, onion, celery and bay leaf. Simmer over medium heat until turkey stock is reduced to 3 cups, about 2 hours. Strain turkey stock into bowl; reserve turkey neck and giblets. Pull meat off neck. Chop neck meat and giblets.
  2. Melt 5 tablespoons butter in heavy large saucepan over medium heat. Add 5 tablespoons all purpose flour and whisk 2 minutes. Gradually whisk in turkey stock, cream and up to 1 cup reserved turkey pan juices (juices are salty, so add according to taste). Simmer gravy until thickened to desired consistency, whisking occasionally, about 5 minutes. Add chopped turkey neck meat and giblets; season to taste with pepper.

Serve turkey with gravy.


Turkey will look dark because of the honey brine baking, but it is ridiculously moist and tender, not at all burned.

Italian Sausage Dressing contributed by TARDIS

Italian Sausage Dressing contributed by TARDIS

I suppose you could use a different sausage and leave out the fennel if you you don’t like it. For vegetarians, a meat substitute and vegetable stock could work. (original recipe by Claire Saffitz)

  • ¾ cup 1½ sticks unsalted butter, cut into pieces, divided, plus more
  • 10 cups coarsely torn sourdough bread (dried out overnight)
  • ⅓ cup blanched hazelnuts
  • 3 tablespoons olive oil
  • 12 ounces hot or sweet Italian sausage (casings removed)
  • 2 onions (chopped)
  • 4 celery stalks (chopped)
  • 1 fennel bulb (chopped)
  • 2 tablespoons chopped sage
  • Kosher salt (freshly ground pepper)
  • ½ cup dry white wine
  • 2 large eggs (beaten to blend)
  • 2 cups turkey or chicken stock (preferably homemade, plus more)
  1. Preheat oven to 350°. Butter a shallow 3-qt. baking dish and a sheet of foil. Place bread in a very large bowl.
  2. Toast hazelnuts on a rimmed baking sheet, tossing once, until golden brown, 10–12 minutes. Let cool; coarsely chop, then add to bowl with bread.
  3. Heat oil in a large skillet over medium-high. Add sausage and cook, stirring occasionally and breaking into small pieces with a spoon, until browned and cooked through, 7–10 minutes. Transfer to bowl with bread with a slotted spoon.
  4. Add onions, celery, fennel, and sage to skillet, season with salt and pepper, and cook, stirring often, until onions are golden brown and soft, 10–12 minutes. Transfer to bowl with bread.
  5. Reduce heat to medium and cook wine in skillet, scraping up any browned bits, until almost all evaporated, about 1 minute. Add ½ cup butter; cook, stirring, until melted. Drizzle over bread mixture.
  6. Whisk eggs and 2 cups stock in a medium bowl; pour over bread mixture. Season with salt and pepper and toss, adding more stock ¼-cupful at a time as needed (you may not use it all), until combined and bread is hydrated. Transfer to prepared baking dish and dot with remaining ¼ cup butter.
  7. Cover with buttered foil; bake until a paring knife inserted into the center comes out hot, 30–35 minutes. Increase oven temperature to 450°. Uncover and bake until top is golden brown and crisp, 20–25 minutes. Let sit 10 minutes before serving.
  8. Do Ahead: Stuffing can be assembled 1 day ahead. Cover and chill.

Pepper Turkey by A dedicated but mostly worthless lurker

Pepper Turkey by A dedicated by mostly worthless lurker

(not my favorite but most of my family do not like turkey)

  • 1 turkey breast (probably a smaller one to make sure it cooks through- card doesn't say)
  • 1/4 cup ground pepper
  • 1/4 cup garlic salt
  1. Clean and inspect turkey. Do not oil or butter the turkey.
  2. Mix pepper and garlic salt. Rub turkey with mixture all over, especially inside the cavity.
  3. Wrap 3 times with “heavy tin foil”.
  4. Bake for 2 hours at 400 degrees fahrenheit.
  5. Cool and place in the fridge.
  6. When cold carve and serve.

*NOT a judgment by SP or TPTB. This was the Tulpa’s own signature.

DESSERTS

Brown Sugar Cookies from Nosh with Me - contributed by jesse.in.mb

Brown Sugar Cookies from Nosh with Me – contributed by jesse.in.mb

  • 14 tablespoons unsalted butter (1 3/4 sticks)
  • 1/4 cup granulated sugar (about 1 3/4 ounces)
  • 2 cups packed dark brown sugar (14 ounces)
  • 2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour plus 2 tablespoons ( about 10 1/2 ounces)
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon table salt
  • 1 large egg
  • 1 large egg yolk
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
  1. Heat 10 tablespoons of the butter in a pan over medium-high heat until melted. Continue to cook the butter until it is browned a dark golden color and smells nutty, about 1 to 3 minutes. Transfer the browned butter to a bowl and stir the rest of the butter into the hot butter until it melts- let this rest for 15 min.
  2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In a baking dish, mix granulated sugar and a ¼ cup of the brown sugar until combined well; set this mixture aside to roll dough balls in.
  3. Mix flour, baking soda, and baking powder in a bowl. Add 1 ¾ cup brown sugar and salt to cooled butter and mix until there are no lumps. Add egg, yolk, and vanilla to butter mixture and mix well, then add flour and mix until just combined.
  4. Roll dough into balls about 1 ½ inches in diameter, and roll balls in brown sugar and white sugar mixture. Place balls about 2 inches apart on parchment lined baking sheets.
  5. Bake sheets one at a time until cookies are puffy and lightly browned, about 12-14 minutes. (It says the cookies will look slightly raw between some of the cracks and seem underdone, but be careful not to over bake.) Cool on sheet for about 5 minutes and then transfer to a rack to cool.

jesse.in.mb's Aunt Sheryl's Dutch Apple Pie

jesse.in.mb’s Aunt Sheryl’s Dutch Apple Pie

(It’s the best, fight me!)

  • 1 single 10″ pie crust

Filling

  • 2/3 cup sugar
  • 2 Tbsp all purpose flour
  • ¾ tsp cinnamon
  • ½ fresh lemon
  • 6-8 tart apples pared cored (pared,cored and sliced (equaling 6 cups))

Crumb Topping

  • ½ cup flour
  • ¼ cup sugar
  • ¼ cup butter

For Filling

  1. Combine first three ingredients.
  2. Put apples in crust, sprinkle dry mix over apples then squeeze ½ lemon over them (can be left for up to 24 hours in the fridge for more flavor).

For Crumb Topping

  1. Combine flour and sugar, cut in butter until crumbly.
  2. Sprinkle on top of apples.
  3. Bake at 400 for 45-50 minutes

Pistoffnick's Low Carb Cheesecake

Pistoffnick’s Low Carb Cheesecake

I don’t usually do sweets, but this is my favorite desert.

For the Crust

  • 1 1/2 cups almond flour
  • 1/4 cup salted butter melted
  • 2 tbsp Erythritol (optional)

For the Filling

  • 3 cups cream cheese
  • 2 cups sour cream full fat (full fat, I tell you)
  • 3 eggs large
  • 4 tbsp Erythritol (optional)
  • 1 tsp real vanilla extract (don’t chu be usin’ that imitation shit! Buy a bean or two. Soak it in vodka.)

Topping (OPTIONAL)

  • 1/4 cup berries sliced
  • 1/2 cup heavy cream whipped
  • 2 tbsp Erythritol (optional)
  1. Preheat oven to 300°F
  2. In a large bowl combine almond flour, melted butter, and sweetener. Mix together using a spoon until the ingredients are homogeneous. Add the mixture into a spring form pan and press this mixture evenly to make the crust firm and tight.
  3. Bake the crust for 10 minutes until it becomes lightly golden browned and remove the crust from the oven. Let it cool while you make the filling.
  4. In a bowl, combine eggs, sweetener, cream cheese, sour cream and vanilla. Mix thoroughly with a hand whisk or blender until smooth then add this mixture to the crust and bake the cheesecake at 350 F for 30 min or until firm and browned.
  5. Remove and refrigerate for six hours. You can add berries and whipping cream on the top to decorate (optional). Enjoy the decadence!

Pumpkin Imperial Stout Tiramisu by Nephilium

Pumpkin Imperial Stout Tiramisu by Nephilium

So here’s a recipe (modified from an issue of BeerAdvocate).

  • 1 pint heavy whipping cream
  • ½ tsp cinnamon
  • ¼ tsp nutmeg
  • 1/8 tsp clove
  • ¼ cup Dry Malt Extract
  • 1 cup pumpkin puree
  • 2 cup mascarpone cheese
  • 24 oz Rasputin Imperial Stout or any other good Russian Imperial Stout
  • 3 packages ladyfinger cookies
  • 1 cup Simpsons Special Dark Roast Malt ground to a powder
  • cinnamon ground
  • powdered sugar
  1. In a medium bowl, add cream, cinnamon, nutmeg, clove and DME. Mix this until soft peaks form, then set aside. In a different bowl, mix together the pumpkin and the mascarpone until fully combined. Fold the pumpkin mixture into the spiced whipped cream until blended (some streaks are fine), and then set aside.
  2. Pour the stout into a shallow bowl or a pie plate. Select your serving container (I usually use a 13 x 9 pan, but you can use whatever size you wish). Then you begin the assembly of the tiramisu.
  3. Dip ladyfingers into the stout for 10 seconds, then flip them, and let them sit for 10 seconds again. Then place the ladyfingers into your serving container until you have a single layer.
  4. Then take a third of the pumpkin cream filling and distribute it over the ladyfingers. Dust with malt powder, then add another layer of soaked ladyfingers.
  5. Top the second layer with pumpkin cream and then garnish with malt powder, some cinnamon, and powdered sugar.
  6. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least two hours before serving.

DME and Simpsons Special Dark Roast can be acquired at your local homebrew store. Otherwise you can substitute ovaltine for the DME, and cocoa powder for the Special Dark Roast.

If you use a smaller container, you can go to three layers of each, or even four. Do what you want, it’s your dessert.

SP's Vegan Pumpkin Chia Pudding

SP’s Vegan Pumpkin Chia Pudding

Even Web Dom can have a seasonal Thanksgiving dessert.

  • 1/4 c chia seeds
  • 1 c unsweetened vanilla almond milk
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 2 tsp sugar (or 10-15 drops liquid stevia, or to taste)
  • 1/4 c pumpkin puree
  • 1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice (or equivalent components)
  • pinch salt
  • 2 tbsp pecans (toasted and chopped)
  1. Combine chia seeds with almond milk in a medium bowl. Set aside for one hour.

  2. Add vanilla extract, sweetener of choice, pumpkin puree, pumpkin pie spice, and salt to the bowl with chia seeds and almond milk. 

  3. Process with an immersion blender until smooth. Adjust sweetener to taste.

  4. Pour into a dessert dish and top with pecans.

We prefer less-sweet foods, so you may want to adjust the sweetness to your preference.

Hayeksplosives's Easy, No Brainer, Creamy Pumpkin Pie

Hayeksplosives’s Easy, No Brainer, Creamy Pumpkin Pie

Easy, foolproof, and better than anything the store sells.

  • 1 14 oz can Sweetened Condensed Milk
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 tsp ground cinnamon
  • 1 tsp ground ginger
  • 1 tsp ground nutmeg
  • 1 15 oz can pumpkin
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1 9-inch unbaked pie crust (I ALWAYS use graham cracker–it’s great with the pumpkin spices.)
  1. Preheat oven to 425F.
  2. Whisk pumpkin, sweetened condensed milk, eggs, spices, and salt in bowl until smooth.
  3. Pour into pie crust.
  4. Bake 15 minutes.
  5. Reduce temp to 350F and bake 35-40 minutes until knife inserted in center comes out clean.
  6. Cool.
  7. Garnish with whipped cream or Cool Whip.

The Nugget Pecan Pie (from Aunt Renée) by jesse.in.mb

The Nugget Pecan Pie (from Aunt Renée) by jesse.in.mb

A vintage recipe that used to come in the matchbooks for Reno’s The Nugget Casino which I got from my aunt who grew up there.

  • 1 unbaked pie shell
  • 1 c Kayro Syrup (light, dark or a mix are all fine)
  • ¾ c granulated sugar
  • 4 oz melted butter (1 stick)
  • 3 eggs
  • 1 tsp vanilla
  • 3 oz ¾c pecan pieces
  • 3 oz ¾c pecan halves
  1. Mix together syrup and sugar.
  2. Add melted butter.
  3. Mix in eggs and vanilla.
  4. Let stand for 1 hour.
  5. Place pecan pieces in the bottom of a 9” unbaked pie shell, pour in the filling, add the halves on top (make it look nice). Bake 45-50 minutes at 325F.

SP's Candied Cashews

Candied Cashews

  • 2 cups whole cashews
  • 1 egg white
  • 1 tsp water
  • 2/3 cup granulated white sugar
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • 1/2 tsp cinnamon
  1. Preheat oven to 325F. Line a baking sheet with a silicone baking mat or parchment paper.

  2. Beat egg white with the water in a medium bowl until foamy and light.

  3. Add the cashews, sugar, salt and cinnamon to the bowl. Stir thoroughly; nuts should be completely coated.

  4. Spread the mixture as evenly as possible on the baking sheet. Bake for about 30 minutes or until nuts are beginning to caramelize.

  5. Remove from the oven and allow nuts to cool.  Store in an air tight container.

Ina Garten's Pear, Apple & Cranberry Crisp - contributed by SP

Ina Garten’s Pear, Apple & Cranberry Crisp – contributed by SP

This is pretty close to a crisp I make, except I use fresh cranberries. But this one has the added virtue of already being keyed in.

For the filling

  • 2 pounds ripe Bosc pears (4 pears)
  • 2 pounds firm Macoun apples (6 apples)
  • 3/4 cup dried cranberries
  • 1 teaspoon grated orange zest
  • 1 teaspoon grated lemon zest
  • 2 tablespoons freshly squeezed orange juice
  • 2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
  • 1/2 cup granulated sugar
  • 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg

For the topping

  • 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 3/4 cup granulated sugar
  • 3/4 cup light brown sugar lightly packed
  • 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
  • 1 cup old-fashioned oatmeal
  • 1/2 pound 2 sticks cold unsalted butter (diced)
  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

For the filling:

  1. Peel and core the pears and apples and cut them into large chunks. Place the fruit in a large bowl and toss with the cranberries, zests, juices, granulated sugar, flour, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Pour into a 9 x 12 x 2-inch baking dish.

For the topping:

  1. Combine the flour, sugars, salt, oatmeal, and cold butter in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment. Mix on low speed for 1 to 2 minutes, or until the mixture is in large crumbles. Sprinkle evenly over the fruit, covering the fruit completely.
  2. Place the baking dish on a parchment-lined sheet pan and bake for 50 minutes to 1 hour, until the top is brown and the fruit is bubbly. Serve warm.

Pink Stuff by Hayeksplosives

Pink Stuff by Hayeksplosives

  • ¼ cup lemon juice
  • 1 can 15 oz sweetened condensed milk (Eaglebrand)
  • 1 can cherry pie filling
  • 1 can mandarin orange slices (strained)
  • 1 can crushed pineapple (strained)
  • ½ cup walnut halves (broken or coarsely chopped)
  • 8 oz cool whip
  1. Whisk together lemon juice and condensed milk until smooth. Stir in pie filling, oranges, pineapple, and walnuts until the cherry pie filling color is even throughout the mixture. With a wide spatula, gently fold in cool whip until even. Do not beat. Refrigerate until serving.

Pud's Chocolate Covered Balls - contributed by PudPaisley

Pud’s Chocolate Covered Balls contributed by PudPaisley

This is a super easy recipe that any idiot like myself can make, and people rave about their deliciousness.  They go really fast.  Plus, there's lots of variations that can be found on youtube such as using white chocolate and decorating in various manners.  For someone like myself who rarely cooks, this is something simple and easy to bring to a gathering and I guarantee your contribution will be a hit!

  • 1 pkg regular Oreo cookies (45 cookies)
  • 8 oz cream cheese
  • 16 oz semi-sweet baking chocolate
  1. Crush 9 of the cookies to fine crumbs in food processor; reserve for later use. (Cookies can also be finely crushed in a resealable plastic bag using a rolling pin.) Crush remaining 36 cookies to fine crumbs; place in medium bowl. Add cream cheese; mix until well blended. Roll cookie mixture into 42 balls, about 1-inch in diameter.

  2. Place the balls in the freezer for 15-30 minutes before dipping in chocolate.  Melt chocolate on stove or in microwave.  Dip balls in chocolate; place on wax paper-covered baking sheet. (Any leftover chocolate can be stored at room temperature for another use.) Sprinkle with reserved cookie crumbs.Use one or two forks to roll the balls in the chocolate and place on wax paper. This will help excess chocolate to drip off before placing on wax paper.  

  3. Refrigerate until firm, about 1 hour. Store leftover truffles, covered, in refrigerator.  Best to keep refrigerated and not left out for too long to prevent melting.

Mom's Pumpkin Pie by A dedicated but mostly worthless lurker

Mom’s Pumpkin Pie (standard pie except thicker than most)

  • 1 pint pumpkin (you can use Libbys but better with fresh roasted and pureed small sugar or equivalent culinary pumpkin)
  • 2/3 cup white sugar
  • 2/3 cup brown sugar
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1 tablespoon cornstarch
  • 3 eggs
  • 1 1/4 cup milk (whole or evaporated)
  • 1/2 cup cream
  1. Preheat your oven to 425 degrees fahrenheit.
  2. Mix cornstarch with the white sugar and set aside.
  3. Beat eggs. Stir milk and cream into beaten eggs.
  4. Add the white sugar mix, brown sugar, salt, spices, and pumpkin to the mix.
  5. Line one deep pie plate (this will overflow a shallow one) with your favorite pie crust (ours is a standard Crisco crust).
  6. Pour into the pie crust and bake for 15 minutes (a pie ring to protect the crust is a good idea).
  7. Reduce oven temperature to 300 degrees fahrenheit and bake until just set. The edges should be puffed up with a small walnut sized area in the center still jiggly. About 10 to 20 minutes.
  8. Cool and refrigerate.

*This was the Tulpa’s own signature, no judgment here from SP!

Food Wishes Buttermilk Pie - contributed by Aloysious

Food Wishes Buttermilk Pie – contributed by Aloysious

  • Enough pie dough for a 9-inch pie dish (I used half a recipe of our butter crust dough)

For the Filling

  • 1 1/2 cups white sugar
  • 1/2 cup 1 stick unsalted butter, room temp
  • 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
  • 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
  • 3 large eggs
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1/8 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
  • zest from one lemon
  • juice from one lemon juice
  • 1 cup buttermilk
  1. Prebake crust at 350 F. for 15-20 minutes, let cool, then fill and bake for another 45-55 minutes, or until the filling is golden and “set.”

Personal variation: made two shallow pies with store bought crust, and it still worked great. Deep dish like in the recipe is still preferred.

About The Author

Glibertarians Community

Glibertarians Community

133 Comments

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      My turkey recipe didn’t make the cut ?. I blame Spud.

      Actually, the nice quiet immediate family thanksgiving is being wrested away from me by MIL. Wife still doesn’t understand after 7 years of marriage that Thanksgiving is my holiday and that her planning and scheming with her mom is at her own peril. Pity party aside, I was planning on doing turkey breast, green bean casserole, dressing, and pumpkin pie. I’ll just do the turkey now. Not particularly motivated to even do that.

      Turkey breast on a Weber

      • SP

        Did you send me an email with it?

  1. Tundra

    This is one of my favorite posts of the year!

    I’m pissed that my group of 23 is now 4, but I am thankful for this place and You People.

    Get cookin’, friends!

    • Nephilium

      Just two this year.

      Currently thinking through what I’m going to make. The girlfriend has threatened me if I don’t make mac and cheese though.

    • Florida Man

      I’ve got a party of eight. The SoFlo in laws dropped out, but I don’t count on them showing up for anything until I see the whites of their eyes, so nothing new there. Works out better because I have enough beds for six guest.

    • Drake

      Just the 3 of us this Thanksgiving. Didn’t feel like it was worth cooking all day for just 3 so we reserved a meal from a local restaurant. Also helping them hopefully stay in business despite Murphy’s best efforts.

    • Sensei

      We are down to 3 of us as well. Both sides of our family bailed.

    • Mojeaux

      We are not in a Tday mood and may not even be in a Christmas mood. My mother lives with 2 of her sisters and generally, they cook and we go over there. Occasionally a third sister and her husband, maybe one of my cousins tags along. Well, one sister’s daughter has decided to drive from Colorado to drop in on us–an entire brood. I don’t necessarily get along well with this particular cousin, so in the face of our mood, all those people I don’t know very well, and another cousin I adore but whom I differ with on political ideology, we’re going to cry off.

      I may or may not try to whip up a semblance of a Tday dinner, but if I do, it’s going to be turkey loaf, box spuds and dressing, and jarred gravy.

    • Pope Jimbo

      My sister just confirmed that she will still host a family dinner at her house in contravention of King Walz’s edicts.

      7 people, 5 households.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I am semi-surprised. Sis is a pretty big proggie.

        On the other hand this is her first Turkey Day in her new house and she is dying to show it off some more.

        When the kids were little there was a left turn that we have to take to go to our house that had a dumb left arrow. So I’d always take the left against the red arrow if the coast was clear. My boys would always start singing “Breaking the law, breaking the law” when I did that. Wife wasn’t amused.

        Now the kids are old and gone and the left arrow was upgraded to turn green when there is no traffic coming so all the joy in my life is gone.

  2. Toxteth O'Grady

    Any samples come with these receipts?

    • Florida Man

      Oh, you!

  3. R C Dean

    Haven’t made that cocktail in awhile, but I have noticed that I am putting less sweetener in my cocktails over time. Eyeballing that one, I’d probably go with more 1/2 oz or maybe 1/3 oz of maple syrup – enough to get the maple flavor but not much more.

    Its all about balance, and about the balance you want. Cocktail recipes were made for experimenting with, which means you get to make (and drink) more cocktails. Win/win, amirite?

    • Florida Man

      Fun fact: maple syrup can replace fenugreek in your Ethiopian recipes.

      *the more you know ? *

    • prolefeed

      It’s basically an Old Fashioned, but substituting maple syrup for simple syrup, then adding some fruit flavors and seltzer because you hate tradition. 😉

      I use maple syrup in my Old Fashioneds year round.

      • R C Dean

        I use maple syrup in my Old Fashioneds year round.

        #metoo. My current fave “Old Fashioned” used blood orange, with maple syrup.

  4. The Other Kevin

    Dear TPTB,
    In the recent poll most of us said we don’t look at older posts. This one will be the exception.

    Sincerely,
    The Other Kevin

  5. R C Dean

    DblEagle’s aged eggnog is perilously close to an old Dean family recipe for Tom & Jerry’s. The difference being mostly that we make the batter, then add the booze and some hot water so its a hot drink served in Ye Olde Dean Tom & Jerry cups, handed down from Abuela Dean.

    • Viking1865

      I was looking at that, going “hmmm a whole pound of sugar?” But I guess that’s only two cups.

      I made egg nog for a friend who’d never had it before, and she took one sip and said “Oh man that’s amazing, how is that so good.”

      Well it’s egg yolks, full fat dairy, a shitload of sugar, and lots of booze. Kind of hard for it to taste bad.

  6. PieInTheSky

    meh

    • But Enough About My Wild Culinary Fantasies

      So hateful.

      • PieInTheSky

        meh

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Not enough cornmeal and animal head for Pie.

      • PieInTheSky

        meh

      • Nephilium

        Needs more sugar, right?

      • PieInTheSky

        gay

  7. Viking1865

    Awesome list. I will add this recipe, from Bon Appetit that I can’t recommend enough.

    https://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/glazed-shallots-with-chile-and-thyme

    It’s particularly great because it’s a very good make ahead dish that can be put in an oven or even microwaved before bringing to the table.

    1 week away, and my family’s plans are still up in the air. Kind of annoying, but there’s some drama I guess. I don’t know.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Ooh: 5*, vegetarian, gluten-free, low-ish carb, and cheap.

      • Viking1865

        I usually cut the peppers down. My crowd is more heat sensitive, and I think with just one (I usually use serrano) it provides a nice warmth without treading into “spicy” territory. For certain values of the word.

        But yeah, I highly recommend everyone makes it for the holidays. It’s quite tasty, it looks very impressive, but it’s really freaking easy. Which to me is the trifecta of holiday dishes.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      yt

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        GD fat thumb…

  8. juris imprudent

    How in the hell are we supposed to cook, and eat, all of that? 😉

    • Tundra

      One bite at a time, brother.

      One bite at a time.

    • Cy

      I’m on a diet. My mouth is watering reading through these recipes.

    • Pine_Tree

      Orphans?

  9. Mojeaux

    I have nothing even close to this spectacular, but I will offer my poor-people simple food recipe list once again.

    • Cy

      “Wassail” you know how I know you’re fancy?

      • Mojeaux

        If I were fancy, I’d be pressing the apples and cranberries myself.

    • pistoffnick

      “Salisbury steak”

      I don’t think I’ve ever had Salisbury steak that wasn’t from a frozen box.

      I might have to try home-made.

  10. Kwihn T. Senshel

    Ok, now this is a post I would come back to!

    Thanks for compiling all of these, SP, and thanks to y’all for submitting them.

    At Thanksgiving, I am purely a consumer and not a creator, so have nothing to contribute myself, but am motivated to try these outside the holiday season!

  11. Rebel Scum

    Recipe for DOOM.

    “[F]or individuals such as myself, we’re not having those discussions, which is limiting us in terms of the information that we learn, the information that we share,” Osterholm told MSNBC’s “Morning Joe.” “I think right now we all have to understand that we need current information on the number of cases. I think that the White House task force report issued yesterday or at least was made public yesterday is right on the mark. We are really in a crisis stage. We have to be discussing what can we do, what do we do. You know, it’s not just enough to help Americans understand you don’t want to swap air — how do you incentivize them, how do you help them realize that this what they want to do.”

    “We need somebody to say this is what’s happening, this is how bad it is,” he advised. “We’re going to see hospitals collapsing in the next two to three weeks. And this is what we’ve got to do to address that. And just remember one thing, for the next three weeks the cases are already in pipeline. The people who are infected this morning will be the cases of next week in the hospital, a few days after that, and will be in the intensive care rooms and dying after that. So even if we did everything we could right now, we would still not turn this thing around for literally three to four more weeks.”

    Kick Bad Orange Man out now. We have to crown Biden asap if we are gonna beat this thing.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Will gladly make a wager: name your odds.

      I hear there’s no beds shortage, but that there is a staff shortage due to school closures.

      • R C Dean

        Ding ding. We are out some nurses (not sure how many) because they have to stay home with their kids.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      And why, exactly, would this spike not follow the same seven week curve that the previous two did?

      • Rebel Scum

        Because it is an opportunity for Biden to institute the Great Reset.

        *adjust tinfoil*

        Actually, fuck the foil. These fucks have been stating their intentions in the open for quite awhile now.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      how do you help them realize that this what they want to do

      How bout you gas the intransigent ones. Worked for the Nazis.

      *mutters obscenities under breath*

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        “realize that this is what you want them to do”

        FTFY.

        *Some* people are that gullible; not enough of them for a quorum, I hope.

    • Idle Hands

      just wait two weeks than you science deniers will see, just wait.

  12. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Thank you for the recipes everyone. I wish I could use them but this year I am occupied with retrieving my son from his postmodern indoctrination camp. I had hoped to smoke a turkey instead.

    It will probably be Chinese take out for us from Peter Chang’s.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I will be hitting the cocktails though.

  13. Rebel Scum

    Recipe for violence.

    One of President Trump’s campaign lawyers in Pennsylvania was placed under official protection following threats against her, according to court papers filed Wednesday evening.

    Philadelphia lawyer Linda Kerns “has been the subject of threats of harm, to the point at which the involvement of police and US Marshals has been necessary to provide for her safety,” the filing says. …

    Kerns also said in court papers Monday that she’d “been subjected to continuous harassment in the form of abusive emails, phone calls, physical and economic threats, and even accusations of treason — all for representing the President of the United States’ campaign in this litigation.”

    People throw the word “treason” around as much as “nazi” when each has a specific definition.

  14. mrfamous

    My governor has told me I’m only allowed to read 10 of these recipes at once

  15. l0b0t

    Thank you to all who contributed, super thank you to the lurkers (come join in, or at least Zoombomb us and scream obscenities), and extra-special super thank you to SP.

  16. kinnath

    In my opinion, wine really doesn’t match up with traditional T-Day foods. Mead is a better match. I prefer a traditional mead (honey only), but cranberry, blackberry, and elderberry meads work really well too.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Just ordered some…will review once it ships.

      • kinnath

        Great. I’d like to hear you feedback.

        I have a cellar full of mead, so I generally don’t go looking for more to buy.

        But people are always asking for recommendations. I like to be able to steer them towards good commercial products.

      • Ownbestenemy

        If I had a celllar Id have a ton of mead…but I don’t, and I don’t.

      • Nephilium

        One of the local meadaries does ship to quite a few states. Crafted, which does sweet and dry meads, I’m partial to the barrel aged ones (while the girlfriend prefers the really sweet ones). The problem is (as with many things), shipping gets pricey quick.

      • Florida Man

        $25 for a 4 pack after shipping. That’s a little steep.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Eh. Probably, but Ill put it out for the FIL so its worth it.

      • Not Adahn

        This stuff is $40/qt after shipping. The only reason I don’t order it weekly is becasue I consume vast amounts of food as a subtrate for it. I ate the first jar in 5 days.

      • The Hyperbole

        Get the combo sampler, 10% off and free shipping. ~ 12$/4 pack.

      • R C Dean

        Excellent. Thanks for the linky. Will try.

    • Nephilium

      I’m partial to nut brown ales, saisons, fruited sours, porters, schwarzbiers, and vienna lagers.

    • Rebel Scum

      Chardonnay says ‘hi’.
      Cabernet with chocolate pie.
      You just find the right wine
      To make you feel divine.

      • kinnath

        What’s the point.

        I drink high-gravity sour ales almost exclusively. But, If I drink a “normal” beer, I’m going Marzen, Vienna Lager, Scottish Wee Heavy, or Belgian Double/Quad. Lot’s of malt and moderate hops.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Champagne goes with everything (or so it’s said; I haven’t confirmed).

      • kinnath

        I hate Champagne (real Champagne). I do like some Italian sparkling wines.

  17. Rebel Scum

    Recipe for LULZ.

    On Wednesday, three GOP Michigan members of the House of Representatives introduced House Resolution 324, which calls for the impeachment of Democratic Gov. Gretchen Whitmer.

    Reps. Beau LaFave, Matt Maddock and Daire Rendon wrote in the resolution: “Gretchen E. Whitmer has acted in conflict with her constitutional duties as Governor. She has exceeded her constitutional authority, violated the constitutional rights of the people of Michigan, issued orders that are not in the best interests of the people of this state, and used the Pandemic as an opportunity to reward political allies.”

    • Idle Hands

      jail is not good enough for some of these gov.

    • juris imprudent

      I’m sure she can summon up a goon squad to deal with these three, preferably before a floor vote, pour encourager les autres.

  18. Certified Public Asshat

    There are way too many cranberry recipes. If I am one day in charge of Thanksgiving, I am banning it from my house.

    • Mojeaux

      Canned jellied cranberry sauce is the best.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Best served in its original cylindrical form complete with ridges.

      • Mojeaux

        EXACTLY!!!

      • Unreconstructed

        Ahh, memories of childhood! And I still like it that way, TBH.

      • Pope Jimbo

        LOL.

        My mom thought it was the height of crudity to serve it in that original shape and would chop it up before putting it on the table. So of course my sister and I would try to sneak the untouched cranberries out on the table without her noticing it. If we succeeded our prize was watching Mom squeek in disgust, grab the cranberries and disappear into the kitchen to smash them up into a respectable pile.

        Mom was a tough old bird who didn’t put on my airs, so it was weird and funny to see her get so worked up about such a minor thing.

        We probably only succeeded in getting the cranberries on the table once every four years.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I bet you eat it on a sandwich with Miracle Whip.

      • Mojeaux

        First LOL of the day or even the week maybe. Thanks! ?

      • l0b0t

        IDK about the Miracle Whip, but the jellied cranberry sauce pairs quite nicely with peanut butter in sammich form.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Time and place for everything I say. Jellied or relished, its all good as long as used to your tastes.

      • Mojeaux

        The Miracle Whip versus mayo debate is not quite as bitter as the pineapple-on-pizza debate or the Jaws debate, but it’s getting there.

        Me, I say there is a place for mayo, a place for MW, and a place for Spin Blend.

      • Ownbestenemy

        So true…so true

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Wawa (probably not near you) has a turkey gobbler sandwich that is popular this time of year. Despite knowing it has cranberry sauce on it, I tried it anyway to see what all the fuss was about.

        I would rather eat it with Miracle Whip :-O

      • Ownbestenemy

        Capriottis makes the Bobbie and quite delicious if you want tgiving on a sandwhich.

      • Nephilium

        Thanks for reminding me that Melt has the New Bomb Turkey for another couple of days:

        Roasted carved turkey, mom’s sage stuffing, roasted butternut squash, homemade turkey gravy, muenster, cranberry orange jam.

      • Trolleric the Goth

        it’s all about the gobbler bowl – especially the new last year sweet potato gobbler bowl ?

      • Mojeaux

        It’s great on biscuits with butter or IOW, used as jelly.

        I do like it mixed in with my regular Tday fare on the plate.

        Which reminds me: one of my cousins used to mix everything on her plate before she started eating. Gross.

    • R C Dean

      So if I bring cranberry sparkling mead*, I will be turned away?

      *I used to do a 5 gallon batch every year around the holidays back when I was brewing, let it sit until the next Thanksgiving. Dry, sparkling, a nice red color, stronger than you think . . . ideal deployed as either a hostess gift or for guests.

      • kinnath

        So if I bring cranberry sparkling mead . . . .

        Welcome anytime at my place.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Ummm…..

        Kinnath, I hope that the mead you were giving out at the Honey Harvest year wasn’t taken from victims like RC that you lured into your home.

        On the other hand your mead was really good and I didn’t have to clean up any blood, so keep on keeping on.

      • kinnath

        That was my own product.

        Most of the people that come to my house to sample mead make it home safely.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        What else did you bring?

      • R C Dean

        What else would I possibly need to bring?

      • db

        Are you willing to post the recipe?

      • R C Dean

        I honestly don’t remember the details – its been over 20 years. A gallon of honey (I’m pretty sure), 4 gallons of water (I think, could have been 5? – anyway, going for a 5 gallon batch) , champagne yeast, and a whole lot of crushed cranberries. Brewed and bottled like beer, only barely bring the honey wort and cranberries to a simmer (a full boil will boil off some of the honey flavors), hold the simmer, and from there it was just like another batch of beer.

        You can probably just add bunch of crushed cranberries to your favorite plain mead recipe and be fine. The champagne yeast was a pretty dry one, which works with the cranberries IMO.

      • db

        When you say a whole lot of cranberries do you mean like a pound, or 5 lb, or more?

        I have brewed a lot of beers but never tried making a mead yet. The idea of a cranberry mead for holiday meals sounds wonderful.

      • db

        I found this, which calls for 4 lb of cranberries, and an additional half cup of craisins, and mentions the cranberry flavor is very intense. Maybe slightly less is called for?

    • Florida Man

      I only ban people who ban things at my house.

  19. Ownbestenemy

    Well out Tday dinner crowd is -4. The 19 yr old is going to hole up in Cali. Other teens are going to half-sisters house here locally. That leave the wife and I and in-laws.

    Luckily my dinner plans were a sampling of various hertiage dishes so it was never a full spread.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Damn interesting

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Thanks. The only fault I find with the article/video is that they did not find a way to blame Trump.

  20. Pope Jimbo

    Ctl-F “hotdish”

    0 Results….

    C’mon Man!! How can you have Turkey Day without hotdish?

    The one and only:

    Green Bean Hotdish

    2 Cans Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom soup
    4 Cans French Cut green beans

    Mix all together in a hotdish pan.
    Bake for 1 hour at 350

    Take out and spread 1 can of French’s Fried Onions on top

    My wife who is not a big fan of American food LOVES this hotdish. And it is the very epitome of Minnesoda cuisine.

    • Kwihn T. Senshel

      So I just know that as “Green Bean Casserole” up here in the NW.

      And it’s one of my favorites at Thanksgiving. Tends to get made at some other holidays, too.

      • Pope Jimbo

        There is no such thing as casserole.

      • Unreconstructed

        Yeah, there is – even calls it that right on the French’s box! I know, ‘cuz my daughter loves the stuff, and we take it to mom’s every year!

      • Pope Jimbo

        French’s box

        Look if you want to talk in foreign languages that is up to you. I’m just telling you that anyone who uses the word casserole is wrong.

        I’ll bet you are also one of those deviants who think that it is “duck, duck, goose”?

      • Fatty Bolger

        Yeah, my wife makes it every year for Thanksgiving, and that’s what we’ve always called it.

    • Nephilium

      Doesn’t hotdish require tater tots? Or have I misunderstood it all these years.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Tater Tots are definitely an ingredient in almost every good hotdish. But for Turkey Day you can get fancy and add the Fried Onions.

        If it was just a normal sidedish for a regular meal, yeah tater tots would probably be what I used for a topping. But if it was just a regular hotdish, I’d also be adding in any left over veggies from that week with the green beans.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Tater Tots gross me out, man.

      • Pope Jimbo

        You are so lucky that i don’t have the Power of the Cat Butt!

    • robc

      Cream of

      And that is where I check out. It doesn’t even matter what follows the of.

      • Unreconstructed

        Sum Yung Gai?

    • The Other Kevin

      I’ve been to one of those Gordon Food Service stores once or twice in my life. I remember on the end cap of one aisle there were giant cans of green beans, cream of mushroom soup, and fried onions displayed together. Just in case you wanted to feed everyone at the church picnic.

    • Mojeaux

      The caramel French’s fried onions?

      I can eat those like candy. Very expensive candy.

  21. Pope Jimbo

    Just got my marching orders for my kid sister’s Turkey Day feast.

    We are supposed to bring the green bean hotdish, a veggie tray and Manhattan fixings. My greedy sister probably thinks I will leave the fixings behind for her to drink with her real friends later. Jokes on her, I’m more than willing to put all my booze back in my car and drive off. I am uncouth as shit when it comes to my booze.

    Besides she still owes me. She had a housewarming last summer on a super hot day and the beer she provided was Guiness and Surly Furious. Yeah, great choices Sis!

  22. CatchTheCarp

    I remember my grandma would always make oyster dressing for Thanksgiving, main ingredient was crackers if I recall. I used to love that dressing, haven’t had it in years because none of my clan can stomach oysters.

    My dad would make New England clam chowder from various cans of soup, canned clams, half and half, and a few “secret” ingredients for Thanksgiving. It was always good but very rich.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      My 82 year old mother still makes oyster dressing for me at Thanksgiving. It’s been a staple since I was a kid.

      Neither my wife nor any of my kids will touch it.

      So I only have to fight my father for it.

      • CatchTheCarp

        Time has whittled away most of the oyster dressing lovers in our family. I didn’t pass on the oyster gene to my progeny, none of my kids will touch them. Neither will my wife.

  23. db

    I can’t believe Winston’s Mom didn’t submit one of her signature recipes.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Stove Top In An Ashtray isn’t one of my favorites.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Her feminist fusion take on that English classic is pretty good. Who doesn’t love Spotted Taco

      • db

        Rolled balogna slices with crab salad stuffing as an appetizer.

    • pistoffnick

      Creampie?