Friday Afternoon Links

by | Nov 6, 2020 | Daily Links | 267 comments

Oregon went even further :O

You shouldn’t caption a captioned picture, you know?

Well, regardless of how everything else shakes out, I got at least one positive thing out of our election! I hope your state wised up some, too.

Extra little bonus local news: pretty pleased how this one ended.

Meanwhile across the pond, I’m sure this will spark a whole new debate in the comments.

It’s poppy.

And this isn’t poppy.

Alright, maybe these links aren’t “essential,” but what is?

This music is, that’s for sure.

About The Author

Riven

Riven

[riv-uhn] noun 1. a gaming, lifting, shooting, intoxicated, ravenous, and happily-taken nerd. 2. often aims to misbehave. 3. and though she be but little, she is fierce.* And rumor has it that she (and her husband) are also delightful dinner companions. You didn't hear it from me, though.

267 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    “You shouldn’t caption a captioned picture, you know?”

    Well, now you can blame the drugs.

  2. Count Potato

    “Meanwhile, away from ‘vanilla fridge gate’ lots of people were impressed by Nadiya’s dedication to keeping her fridge organised.”

    Hopefully, now that it’s over, they can heal as a nation.

    • Fourscore

      And empty. Easy to be neat and organized.

  3. tarran

    Copied over from the previous post.

    I just called my brother to discuss something we need to do as part of settling our late father’s estate. He was too busy to talk to me about that. But not so busy that he didn’t have time to rant about getting rid of the electoral college.

    The sad thing is that I know after the breakup of the U.S. he and I will probably not talk again. If it were to become a shooting war, we’d be on opposite sides (although he wouldn’t do anything so icky as to carry a gun).

    The days of me engaging him about politics are over. He’ll get his progtopia. He’ll get it good and hard. My big hope is that I can be far away from it before the ass-raping of the middle class ramps up to full steam ahead.

    • Nephilium

      Sorry to hear that there’s family drama.

      It’s looking like no one really wants to haul themselves over to my place for Thanksgiving this year (girlfriend’s family is full on Branch Covidian, my niece and her fiance just moved to CA and are coming back for Christmas, rest of my family lives ~45 minutes away).

      • Ted S.

        It’s looking like no one really wants to haul themselves over to my place for Thanksgiving this year

        You’re lucky.

        Thanksgiving here is going to be me, Dad, and the dog.

      • Nephilium

        I actually enjoy hosting. It’s a chance for me to try out new recipes and refine old ones. So at the present, it’s looking like me and the girlfriend (no dog).

      • tarran

        Where do you live?

        My wife and I are hosting a bunch of friends who can’t travel to visit family at our house. Nobody should be alone on Thanksgiving.

        We’re in MA, 20 minutes south of Worcester.

      • Nephilium

        West side of Cleveland. Depending on what my sister decides, I’ll probably reach out to my parents (who live a mile away from her). It would just mean prepping the food to be reheated there. My parents are… not skillful cooks.

      • Brawndo

        I didn’t realize there was a glibby so close to me. The wife and I live about 10 minutes south of Worcester haha

      • Viking1865

        My aunt is apparently the rare bird of

        1. Enormous Trump fan

        2. incredibly terrified of COVID.

        So they don’t want to get together for Thanksgiving. I have a real small family, its just mom, brother, moms mom and moms brother and his wife (The MAGA COVIDIAN) and their kids. So that kind of ends any chance of a full Thanksgiving.

    • Count Potato

      Sorry about the family problems.

      “The sad thing is that I know after the breakup of the U.S.”

      Well, making that a foregone conclusion seems way premature.

      • tarran

        Not really. The U.S. government is doomed. It cannot levy all the taxes it needs to fulfill its obligations. It’s either going to fuck over producers or debtors. And when that happens, the people getting screwed are going to want out of this deal that keeps getting worse all the time.

        Where the fracture occurs, when it occurs are all up in the air. But the breakup is a foregone conclusion IMHO.

      • Gadfly

        The U.S. government is doomed. It cannot levy all the taxes it needs to fulfill its obligations. It’s either going to fuck over producers or debtors.

        In the long run, yeah, but financial collapse is probably a decade or two away. And the correction will probably involve screwing over both producers and debtors, as the go to solution will probably be to inflate the way out of it.

      • Viking1865

        I think that one of the items on the agenda will be a big old COVID Relief bill that includes billions and billions in bailouts to Team Blue’s constituencies, and the only thing stopping it from passing is the courage of Mitt Romney, and that’s assuming the GOP can win the upcoming Georgia Senate seats after the mail in ballots stop coming in.

        I know people say it every election, but I don’t think I’m being hyperbolic: there is no path to a Republican Presidency if PA, WI, and MI are allowed to get away with this and do it again every four years. They have Californicated AZ, GA and NC are now swing states, and if they can build a wall of fraud around the Midwest theres literally no path for a Republican victory.

    • DEG

      Sorry about the family drama.

    • Gadfly

      I just called my brother to discuss something we need to do as part of settling our late father’s estate. He was too busy to talk to me about that. But not so busy that he didn’t have time to rant about getting rid of the electoral college.

      Priorities, man.

      (You have my condolences)

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Sounds like he might want his half to just go to the government anyway.

    • Drake

      I have brother on the other end of the divide. He can control himself but his wife can’t.

    • Ayn Random Variation

      Ugh. Lucky for me the only family I talk to are my parents. They are both Republicans. 2 poor people from the Bronx who have worked their asses off their whole lives and don’t think anybody owes anybody anything.

      My mother is a big Trump fan and my father hates everybody.

    • Fourscore

      Spent some time with my family doctor, we discussed the virus. I asked about the mask business and when the panic is going to be over. He sort of talked around the efficacy of the mask without outright admitting it was theater. He also was concerned about how/when it would end. No optimism. Then we slid into the election, again without admitting to being a deplorable, between us we couldn’t resolve the problem. He was pessimistic about that but happy he had a customer that (patient) that wasn’t in full Karen.

      I suggested, seriously, that the only solution to the election is a coin toss, TV, Roberts tosses the coin. SC are there, 3 leaderships of each party. Draw a card to determine who gets to call the toss. No feelings involved, pure chance. Agree in advance that the outcome is then settled. If not the bickering will go on.

      Do it with a TV camera on so we can all see the results live.

      Tarran, sorry for the family breakdown. Emotions are running high. We were warned a long time ago about this very thing.

  4. Count Potato

    “This music is, that’s for sure.”

    I was expecting Poppy.

  5. Nephilium

    Well, at least the school levy failed where I live. On the other hand, the county library levy passed.

  6. tarran

    Last night I got a text from the MA Department of Public Health instructing me to go to the website for the new Covid 19 guidelines.

    I ended up blocking them like I block any other spammer offering me unwanted services. It’s a stupid and pointless act of rebellion, but an act nonetheless.

    • Bill Door

      I’m with you on that. Got an email from the Uni president with the same old rubbish and encouraging people to stay home, not gather for Thanksgiving, and to wear masks. I almost deleted the email on the spot. My first thought was that she could get bent.

  7. Gadfly

    Well, regardless of how everything else shakes out, I got at least one positive thing out of our election! I hope your state wised up some, too.

    From what I saw, the propositions seemed to fall out pretty well across the nation. Drugs won most/all places. California (surprisingly) voted against affirmative action and legalized independent contractor drivers. Mississippi got a decent flag. The abortion decisions were split, but that means something for everyone, I guess.

    • Gustave Lytton

      The two things about Mississippi’s flag that stand out for me is that they didn’t have one until the Civil War and due to legislative screw up didn’t have one from 1906-2001. And nothing else happened. I wish they and other legislators would take the lesson there and start chopping their mounds of useless laws. Hah hah, yeah right.

      • Count Potato

        “due to legislative screw up didn’t have one from 1906-2001. And nothing else happened.”

        Wow, really?

      • Gustave Lytton

        https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flag_of_Mississippi

        In 1906, Mississippi adopted a revised legal code that repealed all general laws that were not reenacted by the legislature or brought forward in the new code.[31] The legislature inadvertently omitted mention of the 1894 flag, leaving the state with no official state flag from 1906 to 2001; this was not discovered in Mississippi statute until the 21st century.[32][29] In 2000, the Supreme Court of Mississippi confirmed that the state legislature had in 1906 repealed the 1894 adoption of the state flag;[33] the flag used since then and considered official had actually only been customary or traditional.[34]

      • Count Potato

        So they had a flag, but it just wasn’t official.

      • Gadfly

        While it would be best for them to spend time trimming the law books, second best use of time IMO is for them to waste it on useless symbolism.

    • Gustave Lytton

      The two things about Mississippi’s flag that stand out for me is that they didn’t have one until the Civil War and due to legislative screw up didn’t have one from 1906-2001. And nothing else happened. I wish they and other legislators would take the lesson there and start chopping their mounds of useless laws. Hah hah, yeah right.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      The other option was really bad, but it’s not like the new flag is that great.

      • Gadfly

        I was surprised at how good it looked. Granted, it’s a low bar, have you seen the other state flags recently? So many of them are terrible, I’d say Mississippi’s new flag is easily in the middle of the pack.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        True, most states should try out a redesign.

      • tripacer

        My state flag has the face of a slave-owning white supremacist rebel shitlord racist right there in the middle. Kind of surprised they haven’t pushed to change it.

      • Not Adahn

        MS should write that into law, that they have to get a new flag every 20 years.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Even if I could do that, why would I?

      • Trumpus Fidelis Maximus

        None of the preliminary submissions really checked my boxes.
        a/ The map should be easy for grade-schoolers to draw
        b/ One of the flagships’ colors should not dominate.
        c/ You can’t make everyone happy, but there are some who are just as underswhelmed by magnolias as by the Stars and Bars.

        I would have gone with the in a solid, dark pine green against a plain yellowed background (the way magnolia blossoms age) with “1817” in a noble script below . . . 1817 being the last time MS was amongst the top 20 states in per capita median income.

      • Trumpus Fidelis Maximus

        flagship schools; to an MSU alumnus the new flag looks like an Ole Miss recruiting banner

      • Gender Traitor

        1817 being the last time MS was amongst the top 20 states in per capita median income.

        Because there were only 20 states?

        /didn’t look it up

      • Don escaped Mississippi

        done: 12 minutes

  8. The Other Kevin

    “Man, been kind of a long week, innit?”
    The election was Tuesday? Of THIS WEEK?

  9. Rebel Scum

    Sanctimonious cunte.

    “I didn’t expect this to break my heart,” Colbert said. “For him to cast a dark shadow on our most sacred right from the briefing room in the White House, our house, not his, that is devastating.” …

    “We’re not going to show you a second of what that sad frightened fraud said tonight because it’s poison and I like you,” Colbert said. “He can suck silence. He can also suck my frosted yum nut.” …

    “You only survived this up ’til now because a lot of voters didn’t want to believe everything that was obvious to so many of us: that Donald Trump is a fascist,” he said. “When it comes to democracy versus fascism, I’m sorry, there are not fine people on both sides. So you need to choose Donald Trump or the American people.” …

    “For evil to succeed, all that is necessary is for good men doing nothing,” Colbert said. “Say something right now Republicans, not later. It’s in your best interest.”

    From day one Trump spoke of dissolution of power from DC and acted on that premise but he is still a “fascist”.

    • The Other Kevin

      I’m still waiting for a list of all the fascist things he did. I mean besides Tweeting. I guess he was saving them all for his second term. Thankfully we stopped him.

      • Drake

        He held rallies? And uh…

      • Rebel Scum

        Well, he relentlessly attacks the press . . . rhetorically, calling them out as the liars they are.

      • dorvinion

        He nominated judges to vacant positions

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Is Trump a fascist? 8 experts weigh in.

        Call him a kleptocrat, an oligarch, a xenophobe, a racist, even an authoritarian. But he doesn’t quite fit the definition of a fascist.

        Vox rules out fascist, but now needs 5 more articles to sort out the rest.

      • R C Dean

        kleptocrat I thought I heard he’s lost money since taking office, but have no idea.

        oligarch Ooh, I wonder if Vox even knows what that means.

        xenophobe The foreign-born wife is always a dead giveaway.

        racist Sure fooled all them POCs who gave him a big boost in votes this time.

        authoritarian Well duh. He’s the President.

      • Ayn Random Variation

        I’m still not sure if Trump is broke or if he got rich from profiting off of his presidency.

      • commodious spittoon

        “Do you have any peanut butter cheese crackers? I can only have peanut butter cheese crackers.”

      • Ayn Random Variation

        I once got ” he banned that social media site”. And I just started laughing.

    • Ted S.

      These people support the government spying on their political enemies.

      That, and banning speech they don’t like (see Keith Ellison trying to stop Trump rallies in MN).

    • rhywun

      I remember when late night talk shows were about gibbering celebrities and stupid pet tricks.

      This seems… less entertaining.

      • Translucent Chum

        I hate to say something is tragic, but…

        We were camping a few weeks ago and once everyone crashed I put on the tele and assumed I landed on the Comet channel because I was watching Johnny Carson (who was smoking) with three guests all on stage at the same time: Don Rickles, Burt Reynolds, and…Buddy Hackett. I was laughing my ass off and woke my wife up. The last guest was some blond and they all talked about her rack for 5 minutes to end the show.

        Seems like just enjoying life is lost on celebs these days.

      • rhywun

        they all talked about her rack for 5 minutes to end the show

        LOL those were the days

    • Count Potato

      Is he deliberately lying, or honestly that removed from reality.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        He’s just sad that Trump is the better cartoon conservative.

    • Gadfly

      Yeah, Biden’s more of a fascist than Trump ever was. And fascism and democracy are not exclusive – in fact, the most notorious fascist parties won elections in order to legitimize their power.

    • Ayn Random Variation

      Oh that must be today’s thing. I blocked a friend on my phone this morning because she was ranting about trump’s speech last night. Not that she heard or watched it, but how NPR was telling her this morning it was so horrible that they were forced to stop covering it.

  10. DEG

    I was going to Happy Hour… maybe not….

    After a contentious campaign rife with rancor, Montana voters have legalized recreational cannabis via Initiative 190. Montanans also passed I-190’s necessary companion, Constitutional Initiative 118, which amends the state constitution to set the legal age of cannabis consumption at 21. Both measures gained favor with 57% of voters.

    Excellent!

    “So we’re going to introduce legislation immediately that permits any employee, any employee no matter where you work … to wear a poppy, and making sure that no employer can force someone not to wear a poppy.”

    Oh boy.

    It’s clear that many government officials and bureaucrats simply fail to understand that using a means of threat and coercion directly goes against the constitutional and natural rights of human beings.

    I don’t think they care. Using threats and coercion is a perk of the office.

  11. Mojeaux

    @Ted’S

    or the frightening prevalence of Russian pirated cross stitching charts

    In Soviet Russia, chart stitch you!

    I larfed. Thanks!

    • Mojeaux

      I also screwed up the nested blockquotes.

  12. The Other Kevin

    “I got at least one positive thing out of our election!”
    We got a positive thing this week too. My MIL, who was over on Sunday and Monday, got sick Tuesday and today her COVID test results came back, positive.

    Tomorrow Mrs. TOK and I and the kids are going for rapid testing. We all have things coming up that we don’t want to miss by self-quarantining another 10 days. Unfortunately the 1-hour tests are $75 each, out of pocket. I do have money in my HSA so we’ll dip into that.

    • DEG

      Sorry. Hopefully your tests are all negative.

      • The Other Kevin

        We shall see. If anything it will be an interesting test case for how contagious this thing is.

    • Count Potato

      I thought they passed a federal bill that tests are “free”.

      • The Other Kevin

        We made a few calls and this is what I found out. Some local hospitals are doing rapid testing only for people who are having surgery. They also have normal (2-4 day) testing that could be covered by insurance, and if it’s not, there are funds available.

        The one I found was rapid (1 hour), no doctor’s order required, and about 3 miles away, but you have to pay for it.

      • Count Potato

        Oh, OK

    • Tonio

      Wishing the best for you and your fam.

      • Count Potato

        Oh, that too, but it didn’t sound like they were sick.

    • Cy

      Donate blood. Free test. Got mine 2 days later.

    • Floridaman

      Oh good, I actually thought the first one was real.

    • Ownbestenemy

      What was their spin on that anyway? Misspoke? Stuttered? Or did they not even have to correct it?

      • Chipwooder

        What I read was he meant it’s a vote fraud prevention organization

      • The Hyperbole

        The transcript is online, it seems pretty clear he’s talking about helping people vote and making sure their vote is counted, he even give some phone number or website where they can report problems voting.

      • Ayn Random Variation

        “Out of context”
        Which is kind of true if you listen to the whole thing. Ie you know what he meant even it sounded weird

  13. hate_speech

    I think the thing that makes me saddest is that our Dem Gov here in NC looks to have won re-election, and if Biden takes it, we’re just going to be locked in our homes forever. The Rep challenger was running on ending all of this nonsense, and I really thought that would have appealed to people.

    Other than that, I’d vastly prefer Biden winning in an honest election than Trump winning in whatever the fuck this mess is. Doesn’t look like that was ever an option though, so give me Trump in a judicial landslide I guess.

  14. Nephilium

    It’s Friday, thank the %object% of your choice.

    It means that tonight, once again, I’ll host the Zoom/Happy Hour/Round Table/blah blah blah starting at 20:00 Eastern (for those unaware, the link doesn’t change anymore).

    In one brief moment of good news for today, those who like reading about cooking methods and ingredients over the ages now have access to over 10,000 public domain books that were scanned in at the Internet Archive.

      • Nephilium

        Of course they’re going to be racist! They’re public domain, which means they were written like a hundred years ago.

        I’m more interested in some of the items that were considered good eats that have disappeared entirely. Such as aspic.

      • Fourscore

        A spic? Man, that is racist!

      • Tulip

        The blog I reference below did a gelatin aquarium from a mid-century cookbook

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Hey, I have that one. Problematic, yeah.

    • KOVIDKristen

      I don’t see the original Betty Crocker on there (at least, the one with the same cover art that my Ma had), sadly. They have later editions…not sure why they wouldn’t have the early ones.

      • Tulip

        I’m going to look for the Ladies Home Companion. That was my dad’s cookbook. Much better than Joy of Cooking

      • Count Potato

        I have the Good Housekeeping from the 50’s.

      • But Enough About My Wild Culinary Fantasies

        Much better than Joy of Cooking

        **GASP** SINNER! PHILISTINE!!***INFIDEL!!!***

      • Tulip

        Really? It’s not actually a very good cook book.

      • But Enough About My Wild Culinary Fantasies

        I only have five editions: 1964 (repub’ed ’67), 1974, 1997, 2006 and 2019.

        I would agree that the ’97 edition is not a good cookbook — it’s rife with procedural and timing errors in too many of the recipes (someone didn’t do their testing!). Haven’t had time to plow through the 2019 edition yet, so no judgment there. The ’64 damn near literally saved my ass as a young teenager when my Mom announced one day that us little yard-apes would have to learn to fend for ourselves in the kitchen, as she was done cooking for us. And all of them are much better than Mark Bittman’s execrable “How To Cook Anything” series of cookbooks, which I keep around only because, rather than burning them, they might serve as a ready source of toilet paper/kindling come the apocalypse.

        To be fair, I am a fan of the America’s Test Kitchen series of cookbooks — I like their experimental, incremental approach to finding the “optimum” recipe.

    • But Enough About My Wild Culinary Fantasies

      The Chinese Cook Book is fascinating. Published 1917, trying to explain to us round-eyes how to make stuff like soy sauce, tofu and so forth. Lotta work involved, that’s for sure.

      • Count Potato

        Tofu in the U.S. was started by Ben Franklin after hearing about it from the archbishop of Santo Domingo, who was a missionary to China.

    • Chipwooder

      There are a bunch of the Southern Living annual recipes that my mom used to get. Lotta good ones in there for extremely fattening foods.

      • Floridaman

        I call false advertising I didn’t see a recipe for dog meat at all.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Good Abe made sure that wouldn’t ever happen again.

  15. Count Potato

    “One Michigan county clerk caught a glitch in tabulation software so they hand counted votes and found the glitch caused 6,000 votes to go to Biden + Democrats that were meant for Trump and Republicans. 47 MI counties used this software. All must check now!”

    https://twitter.com/robbystarbuck/status/1324783531139235841

    I’m no computer genius, but a computer running “tabulation software” is literally a fucking adding machine.

    • The Other Kevin

      if (vote == ‘Biden’)
      BidenCount +=1;
      else if (vote == ‘Trump’)
      TrumpCount +=1;

      How the hell do you screw that up?

      • The Other Kevin

        Oh wait, maybe they hired the same politically connected company that built the Obamacare web site.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        if (vote == ‘Biden’)
        BidenCount +=1;
        else if (vote == ‘Trump’)
        TrumpCount +=0;

        FIFY

      • db

        if (vote = ‘Biden’)
        BidenCount +=1;
        else if (vote == ‘Trump’)
        TrumpCount +=1;

      • hate_speech

        You assume the goal wasn’t to write:

        if (vote == ‘Biden’)
        BidenCount +=1;
        else if (vote == ‘Trump’ && TrumpCount % 10 == 0)
        TrumpCount +=1;

    • LJW

      It’s not a glitch it’s a feature.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        This. Glitch, my ass

  16. The Late P Brooks

    Are we there yet?

    • The Other Kevin

      If by “there” you mean hell, I think we are.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      No

      • TARDis

        True, but we have shifted in to 6th gear and the supercharger is sucking at max PSI. We’ll be there soon enough.

  17. mexican sharpshooter

    You shouldn’t caption a captioned picture, you know?

    So a caption within a caption? Its like inception for captions.

  18. Count Potato

    Anyone remember the good old days when Russia hacked our election?

    • Fatty Bolger

      We’ve traced the hacking, it’s coming from inside the country!

  19. Derpetologist

    When I voted on Tuesday, there were Biden supporters near the entrance to the polling place, but no Trump supporters. I guess they were all at a Klan rally. It was history’s first integrated Klan rally.

    Trump got a larger share of the non-white vote than any Republican in 60 years and he lost fair and square? I find that very hard to believe.

    Perhaps all the cities with more than 1 million people could be relocated to California. Cali’s full of progs and they have plenty of room. There’s no need for our partition to be a repeat of India in 1947.

    Or maybe we could just have a constitutional amendment that automatically rotated the presidency between team red and team blue. People would be more chill if they knew for sure they’d win half the time.

    In other news, I had my “You can’t *handle* the truth!” moment and I did not get Dreyfussed.

    You want the derp?! You can’t handle the derp!

    • Gadfly

      Or maybe we could just have a constitutional amendment that automatically rotated the presidency between team red and team blue. People would be more chill if they knew for sure they’d win half the time.

      This is a funny idea, because it wouldn’t change all that much in reality, and would save a lot of people a lot of money, time, and stress. After Truman, it’s been 2R, 2D, 2R, 1D, 3R, 2D, 2R, 2D, 1R* terms.

    • Derpetologist

      In Tanzania, where Christians number about the same as Muslims, there is an unwritten rule that the presidency switches between a Christian and a Muslim. Lebanon has a constitutional amendment for something similar.

      • LCDR_Fish

        I know Nigeria had a [un]written rule where if there was a Muslim PM, the president would be Christian and vice versa (also due to regional limitations).

  20. Derpetologist

    in case you missed it

    Political Science Professor Smarter Than Billionaire Who Got Elected President on His First Try

    HARVARD – “It’s simply laughable to compare me to that addlepated simpleton”, said Professor Samuel Gambolputty. “To pick but one example, everyday I give a multiple choice quiz that subtly references my favorite Babylon 5 episodes. Could that money-grubbing rube do likewise? Ha! To the best of my knowledge, he’s never even tried!”
    Professor Gambolputty added that unlike Trump, he has published in many highly-respected journals and has even appeared as an expert on C-SPAN. And Professor Gambolputty isn’t the only genius in his family. “Perhaps you’ve heard of my niece, Joanna. So proud of her. She’s been in the news a lot lately.” Professor Gambolputty went on to critique Trump’s business career. “Did you that six of his busineesses have gone bankrupt? Six! I, on the other hand, have never had any bankruptcies, personal or otherwise. And never need to worry about it either, because I have tenure.” Even Trump’s appearance was not safe from Professor Gambolputty’ razor wit. “That buffoon is as dumb as he looks. You know what I call him? Agent Orange. Ha! I got out of bed in the middle of the night to write that one down. My friend in the zoology department named a new species of amphibian. It’s called dermophis donaldtrumpi. It’s a serpentine, nearly blind amphibian that buries its head in the sand. Ha! I’d love to see the look on that scoundrel’s face when he found out! It’s a shame he doesn’t read! Another friend in the entomology department named a moth after Trump. Neopalpa donaldtrumpi is known for its orange head and the males have smaller genitalia than moths in the same genus. The symbolism is obvious, of course.” In his spare time, Professor Gambolputty enjoys crossword puzzles and taking his dog Machiavelli out for walks. “He’s a Komondor, a Hungarian sheepdog. Their bravery is legendary. During World War II, the only way the Germans or Russians could capture a Hungarian farmhouse was by killing the Komondor. Often they are derided as mere so-called mop dogs. Rubbish! They are a fine breed indeed. I dare say my dog is smarter than Trump, even when he is dragging his butt across my favorite oriental rug. Did you know that Trump doesn’t even have a dog?”

  21. Count Potato

    “AT LEAST 21K Dead People on Pennsylvania Voter Rolls

    “9,212 registrants have been dead for at least five years, at least 1,990 registrants have been dead for at least ten years, and at least 197 registrants have been dead for at least twenty years,”

    https://twitter.com/RudyGiuliani/status/1324747799641100288

    • LJW

      But did they vote?

      • The Other Kevin

        Yes but only a few time each.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    if (vote == ‘Biden’)
    BidenCount +=1;
    else if (vote == ‘Trump’)
    TrumpCount +=0;

    I think it’s more like this:

    if (vote == ‘Biden’)
    BidenCount +=1;
    else if (vote == ‘Trump’)
    BidenCount +=1;

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Trump got a larger share of the non-white vote than any Republican in 60 years and he lost fair and square? I find that very hard to believe.

    There are more white college educated soccer moms than there are black men, aren’t there?

    • Viking1865

      Trump increased his margin among white women per the exit polls.

      There was a much larger black turnout, and though Trump ate into the split, it still broke big for Biden. Yep, yes sir there were literally hundreds of thousands of black people in this country who didn’t vote for Obama in 2012 but who were very excited to vote for Biden.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Obama has already been elected once and the result wasn’t really in doubt so no need to inconvenience yourself by actually going to the polls. This year much lower barrier to voting, BLM for the past six months, and voting against Trump and the Republicans.

        Even here in Oregon which has been vote by mail for over twenty years, the numbers and percentages of ballots cast this time are way up.

    • Gadfly

      It should also be noted that Trump started from a base of 46% of the country, which he expanded to 48% by pulling the numbers he pulled with various groups. So, it is entirely believable that he gained support and still lost. Having the largest minority support of any Republican in 60 years is good, but not enough to put him over the top, since the minority vote is a larger portion of the electorate than it used to be.

    • Derpetologist

      ***
      No Republican has ever won the presidency without winning Ohio, and since the advent of the duopoly two-party system, only three Democrats have ever won the presidency without winning Ohio: Grover Cleveland in 1884/1892, Franklin D. Roosevelt in 1944 and John F. Kennedy in 1960. Winners of the state are in bold.
      ***

      Trump wins Ohio and Florida and still loses? That’s blizzard-in-Texas-in-July improbable.

      [turns to face Elmer Fudd, throws confetti in the air, and shouts “Happy New Year!”]

      • Gadfly

        Right now the map for Trump looks like Bush 2004, minus VA, GA, NM, CO, AZ, & NV. The Georgia swing is the most curious of those.

      • TARDis

        You spelled fraudulent wrong. Where’s Sherman when you need him?

  24. Ownbestenemy

    Found out we have a Scandanavian eatery nesr by. Time to flex my last name and get some good food!

    • B.P.

      “This has been the worst four years of my life.”

      I’d like one of these hysterics to name one impactful Trump administration policy decision that created this.

    • The Other Kevin

      People have invested a lot of time and energy into a visceral hate for Trump. I don’t think you can just turn that off. They’re going to have to come up with some other outlet for it.

      • Ayn Random Variation

        “People have invested a lot of time and energy into a visceral hate for Trump. I don’t think you can just turn that off. They’re going to have to come up with some other outlet for it”

        Us

    • LJW

      “I literally just held my husband crying, “it’s over””

      Can any of these people explain in full detail outside of corona, what has been so horrible about the last 4 years?

      • B.P.

        Children in cages. A handful of weirdos with Pier 1 tiki torches marched in a town they’ve never visited. Taunting tweets. The list is endless.

    • LJW

      “I’m no psychiatrist, but”

      What is scary is some of these people might actually be psychiatrists

    • Chipwooder

      Why is Toure upset if someone is against America? All he does is rant about how racist the place is.

  25. grrizzly

    Today is the first day of the extended face mask mandate in MA. Everyone outside must have a face covering at all times even if they are socially distancing from everybody else. I went for a walk in the afternoon and didn’t notice many changes. 95% of people were wearing masks outside even before. That didn’t really change. There are still people without masks. Perhaps, there were even more people with chin diapers today. And as always my local liquor store let me buy a bottle of wine without a mask.

    • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

      Facemasks properly worn offer a tremendous amount of protection in the developing crisis.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I see what you did there

      • Gustave Lytton

        Jarflax needs to work on his gray man skills better then if you saw it.

    • Ayn Random Variation

      I’m looking at 3 people wearing masks standing maybe a foot from each other talking excitedly.
      2 of them have signs. One says something about Phily loving Stacy Abrams, which has me confused. The other says ‘I am speaking’

      • Floridaman

        I I think the second is a reference to something Copmala said during the vp debate.

  26. Count Potato

    “KY Dem Ed Pritchard was convicted of voter fraud in 1949 for fraudulently casting 254 votes. His biographer said: “the untidy truth was that widespread vote fraud was America’s dirty little secret . . .” Elections with millions of mail ballots makes fraud more likely not less.”

    https://twitter.com/RandPaul/status/1324717483987709954

  27. Derpetologist

    NJR has what recovering alcoholics call “a moment of clarity”

    ***
    I have already seen some Democrats on social media blaming the voters. Americans just must be more irredeemably stupid and racist than we thought. I do not think this attitude is correct or helpful. Why are the native Spanish speakers of Miami and South Texas less enthusiastic about Biden than they were about Hillary? Do we simply blame them for “not knowing their own self-interest”?

    The answer to what is going on is not actually mysterious. The left has been saying it over and over ad nauseum: the Democrats have failed to offer a compelling alternative. Joe Biden has been an uninspiring corrupt corporate candidate. He’s been, incredibly, less politically competent than Hillary Clinton. He opposes policies that are hugely popular with voters. He’s been unable to generate enthusiasm—we rightly criticized Trump for holding giant rallies in the middle of a pandemic, but we also know Trump is right that Biden couldn’t hold giant rallies even if he was willing to pay people to come.
    ***

    https://www.currentaffairs.org/2020/11/the-2020-election-result-completely-discredits-the-democratic-leadership

    • Fatty Bolger

      What the party really needs is more charismatic young commies.

    • Gadfly

      Joe Biden has been an uninspiring corrupt corporate candidate. He’s been, incredibly, less politically competent than Hillary Clinton.

      And yet, he was widely seen as the best candidate the Ds had on offer. I wonder if they have anyone better waiting in the wings?

  28. LJW

    I don’t know what to do! Just walked in on my wife… Watching Christmas movies. She couldn’t wait until after Thanksgiving. I think I need to talk to a lawyer.

    • rhywun

      Just saw a house decked out in full Christmas regalia during my afternoon walk. I smiled.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Don’t know what to do? Dress up as Santa and tell her it’s time to get jolly.

      • Ayn Random Variation

        “Him” 🙂

  29. Derpetologist

    relevant rerun

    Republican Voter Suppression Now Targets the Dead, Warns Top Democrat

    NEW YORK – Voter ID requirements could stifle voter turn-out among Dead Americans, warned Rep. Adam Schiff. “It’s hard enough for post-mortal Americans to reach polling places from 6 feet under or to re-assemble their bodies from scattered ashes. The requirement that all voters show ID in person before voting is as every much an outrage as ‘separate, but equal’ “, he explained as he encompassed his neck with his thumb and forefinger. Schiff is a part of a growing chorus condemning voter ID requirements. The ACLU tweeted that all Americans, regardless of pulse, have a right to vote. Meanwhile, the Association of Trans-Dead Americans was equally vocal in denouncing the requirements. “As a man who identifies as a long dead pharaoh, I deal with enough hardships, such as random people yanking on my mummy bandages to spin me around,” said Imhotep IV of Toledo, Ohio. Members of the same group protested the Toledo GOP office with a haunt-in, whereby they donned bed sheets, milled around, and made “Ooooooo” noises at passers-by.

    • Not Adahn

      he explained as he encompassed his neck with his thumb and forefinger.

      Gold!

  30. Hyperion

    “Well, regardless of how everything else shakes out, I got at least one positive thing out of our election! I hope your state wised up some, too.”

    Wow, we can all agree our legal weed now, which no one will be able to afford. Yippee!

  31. Hyperion

    In other news of the global re-alignment, I have clients who have left the country, for good. None of them said ‘I’m leaving the country if the election doesn’t go my way’, they just packed up and moved and said I’m not coming back, because I’m rich and I don’t have to.

    And you know, good for them. I actually like rich clients the best, because they keep paying me, because they can.

    News for the commies. When you tax the rich to death to satisfy you stupid eat the rich fantasies, your ass will be the bread line and you won’t be smiling.

    • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

      your ass will be the bread line

      Noone, not even HM will line up to eat commie ass.

      • Hyperion

        Well. ‘In’ the bread line.

        The question for now is, how hard do the commies go after their most hard left fantasies now? Because they can do a horrific amount of damage between now and 2022 midterms. So the question is, how far do they go, knowing that their time might be up by 2022?

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        knowing that their time might be up by 2022?

        I never took them as being that introspective.

      • rhywun

        Plus they don’t care – they will blow their wad on a list of the most outrageous fantasies. And they will get some of it. Doesn’t matter how much because they are patient.

      • Floridaman

        The commies aren’t the majority of the Dems, they are like 10%, with the rest being the same thing as the neo-cons, so higher taxes, and government control over everything, but no communism… because without donors where do they get their bribes.

      • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

        We will see.

      • Hyperion

        Yeah, I know we will see, bro. I’m just wanting to get the rest of your thoughts. Because we know this is what we are talking about here, is how far can the left push their next round of communification before they get checked again.

      • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

        I am trying to avoid sharing too much of my thinking right now. Suffice it to say I am not even a bit convinced that the silver lining of divided government and hope about the midterms implicit in your comment have any validity.

      • Viking1865

        Yeah the premise of “divided government” in the coming years is based on

        1. The belief that the Blue Dog/moderate Democrats in the House will break with Pelosi to curb prog excess.

        2. The belief that Mitt fucking Romney will not relish the opportunity to cross the aisle and work out a Grand Bipartisan Compromise.

        3. The belief that Ol Uncle Joe won’t unleash a thoroughly politicized civil service on the deplorables.

        Oh and I am quite convinced at this point we’re going to get the Voting Rights Act of 2021 which will enshrine national vote by mail with no controls as a new Sacred Principle of American democracy.

      • Drake

        With the Republicans in control of the Senate they just blame them not being to raise taxes and seize guns.

        Meanwhile, they go crazy stealing everything not nailed down. It was Clinton people running that campaign.

      • Floridaman

        Bingo, the real problem is Trump was the bull in the China Shop, the swamp critters are gonna try to bar the door to prevent that from ever happening again.

      • Ayn Random Variation

        I think it’s cute that people think the Senate will be a check on the Leftist authoritarianism we are in store for. They already stole the Michigan Senate race. At least 3 of the Republicans are go along to get along types. 2 are “independents”.
        Not to mention EOs and the FYTW clause we all love.
        It’s over. If you have the means you need to get out.

      • Gender Traitor

        Where is there to go?

      • B.P.

        The NY Times tells me that the Soviet Union was a sex paradise.

      • Hyperion

        Part of the experiment after the Bolshevik takeover was the no holds barred sexual revolution. But then it all went badly and they started banning hedonism.

        The traditional family is a primary target of the left.

        There is a strong correlation between what they are doing now in the USA and what they did in the USSR, because the goals are the exact same. The playback has not been altered.

        And don’t worry, it will work this time, we have the right people. It will work, or else.

      • Drake

        Sure if you were a gulag guard.

      • Hyperion

        Or a party official. I hear they still got the benefit, just not the proletariat they loved so much.

        Anyone who falls for the socialist lie is an idiot who fully deserves whatever they get. It’s not like you still cannot read a fucking book or do some research of your own online. In fact, there has ever been a time in history in which it was easier to do so.

  32. Lazer

    OK Viking, now y’all have gone to far!!! First, anytime anyone of ya mention moving to a better state, ya never mention Missouri, and now, AND NOW, you put Arkansas in the new country but leave out Missouri?!?!??!?!? TOO FAR!! We have everything in MO, Mountains (small yes), plains, farming country, cattle country,, rolling hills.

    We have constitutional CCW, we’re very red, cost of living low, Southwest/Southcentral in the Ozarks, low land prices, lots of acreage, close enough to the “big city”, medical marihuana, (surly the new country will legalize marihuana).

    So lets hear why for not you don’t like my home state??

    • Lazer

      Also, great hinting for whitetail, squirrels, turkey; great fishing, lake or stream.
      Come on man!

    • Gustave Lytton

      Misery is why people are moving in the first place.

      Also, St Louis.

    • The Hyperbole

      low land prices

      What are we talking per acre here.

      • Lazer

        3 – 7, depending on how far from the city

      • Hyperion

        3-7 per acre?

        I sold 18 acres in 2007 for 3K an acre.

        It depends on where you are at. Are there any jobs? What is in the area that makes it attractive. Well, y’all know what I mean.

        Property will just keep getting more expensive, because there is no way to increase the supply until we go space born.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Divest government land and repeal land use regulations.

    • Drake

      My problem with Missouri is that it’s hotter than hell every time I’ve been there.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Humid, too.

    • Viking1865

      In my thought experiment, I am trying to do the most I think I can without provoking an immediate war. The war needs to come a few years down the road, after the Gulf Republic small arms industry has ramped up and Elon Musk has successfully ironed out the bugs in his rock dropping battle station and you get the Pascagoula yard to slap you together enough submarines.

      I want to start with the 11 mentioned because that way you will get the moron progs thinking “Yay goodie now we never have to deal with those icky rednecks again.” If you take all the Midwestern red states, you are instantly triggering a war because you’re cutting the coasts apart. Not to mention the B2s at Whitman and the ICBMs in ND.

      Nope, you want to be a few little old retrograde rednecks pitching a fit. If you split the USA in half and gobble up a couple legs of the nuclear triad that will bring them down like a hammer.

      The ideal would be to pitch the legislatures now, get them to vote it in secret, referendum December 1st, then independence day on January 1st. Make sure Trump knows he can flee to Mar A Lago when the progs start their bullshit investigation, and he will let Joe Biden decided whether he wants to go to war. Gives you three weeks to flood the zone with propaganda and gobble up about 10 million immigrants and start recovering things lost in boating accidents.

      Man I wish I could write dialogue, I think this could be a fun book.

    • Q Continuum

      If I were you, I wouldn’t be trying to convince people to move to your state.

      That’s what went wrong in CO and AZ.

      • Lazer

        Just you guys!

  33. Hyperion

    The reality is that drugs have not won the drug war. It is seriously alive and well. Say if you live in MD, and one day you say to yourself, I just need to get buzzed and this beer is not cutting it. If I added some weed, it would just be great.

    Well, you have one choice, sort of legally. You drive down to DC and try to find someone to sell some weed to you. Which, if you don’t already know someone there who knows how to get you some weed, it might be difficult, since no one there is allowed to sell it. You see how we need experts in control of our entire life?

    But let’s say, you find some dangerous deadly kill all of the chillins weed. So, OK, you got your weed. Now you just have to drive back to MD and enjoy. Unless you get pulled over and the very professional officer who is trained and stuff, detects the strong presence of dangerous drugs.

    So, you wait there for the next 4 hours beside of the road while the officer gets his search warrant and they find your 11 grams of dangerous killer marijuana.

    So now your ass is facing a felony, for 11 grams of a fucking plant. Now you get a lifetime felony on your record and you can no longer get a job, forever.

    Would have turned out very differently for you in CO. But FYTW.

    • The Hyperbole

      C’mon man, felons get jobs all the time, it might be hanging drywall but it’s a job.

      • Hyperion

        Sure, but the difference between 100k sitting at a desk and $10 an hour breaking your back every day is a pretty severe penalty for smoking a forbidden plant.

      • The Hyperbole

        But it’s honest back breaking labor, and they’re getting closer to 15 or 20 $ an hour anymore, and as it seems that the supply of people willing to do hard work to keeps falling that pay is going to keep going up.

      • Hyperion

        It’s OK with me if you want to hang drywall, bro, and it is honest work. But a lot of we white collar workers who spend every fucking day re-learning what we are supposed to do, to keep up with technology also want our rewards.

        Either way, there is no way experimenting with a forbidden substance should alter that path for anyone, especially not in such a life altering way.

        I’m all in on everyone doing better, and not having a gang of worthless bureaucrats fucking it all up.

      • The Hyperbole

        Oh I agree on the drug shit, just busting your balls for the “no job forever” bit, you can always find work.

      • Q Continuum

        I hear porn sets looking for fluffers don’t care about your criminal history.

        …my friend told me.

      • The Hyperbole

        michael: “did you get a job?”
        victor: “yes, i got something at the strip-tease, i help the girls dress and undress”
        michael: “nice job”
        victor: “twenty francs a week”
        michael: “not very much”
        victor: “it’s all i could afford”

      • Sean

        We have trouble getting people to come in for interviews.

        Where is the right place to advertise for blue collar labor these days?

      • Hyperion

        Costco? Either that or talk with your local illegal alien landscaping shop?

      • The Hyperbole

        Fuck if I know, we mostly sub-contract, but we can’t even find subs right now, they are either booked ’til next spring or never return calls. And everyone in the trades is my age 50+ I’m not seeing any new blood getting in. Tell all your kids to seriously look into trades and not just plumbing and electric, think masonry, siding, drywall, those guys are going to be naming their own price soon because no one is taking it up.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Lot of folks where I work have been buying houses or building new ones. Wood, etc is pretty expensive due to the sawmills being shut down. Backlogs building – houses aren’t staying on the market very long at all – seller’s market.

  34. Q Continuum

    A guy fucks a $5 whore and gets crabs.

    He goes back to complain and she says “It was $5, what do you expect, lobster?”

    • Ayn Random Variation

      A Jew, a black and a Puerto Rican walk into an Irish bar.
      The bartender says, ” Get the fuck out of here!”

      • Cy

        Nope… nope…. not going to do it.

  35. R C Dean

    I’m going to try to write a post this weekend on how little this election actually matters. This will be partly therapy for me, to get my head more where I want it, as I have discovered that I’m still letting short-term political stuff cause me angst.

    But first, just one more from the “Funny how all these errors only go one wayFunny how all these errors only go one way” file:

    “In Antrim County, ballots were counted for Democrats that were meant for Republicans, causing a 6000-vote swing against our candidates,” Michigan GOP Chairwoman Laura Cox said.

    “The county clerk came forward and said, ‘tabulating software glitched and caused a miscalculation of the votes.’ Since then, we have now discovered that 47 counties used this same software in the same capacity,”

    • limey

      Oh dear oh dear.

    • db

      I love this. The software simply “glitched” and hence failed in a way that completely inverted half the results of *its primary purpose for existing*.

      Just a “glitch.”

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      That’s just the breaks brah…funny how it always seems to break one way though.

    • limey

      It just doesn’t seem like something you should get banned from a national park for. That’s zero carbon cooking. Direct application of geothermal energy to achieve roasting of chicken. Very efficient.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      You can’t roast a chicken in a hot spring . Boil maybe.
      Not guilty.

  36. limey

    I dumped my assignment in with 5 minutes to spare. I almost feel young again.

    I’m various shades of anxious about the impending move, and due to my schedule it means I’ll not even be here when most of my stuff gets moved, but more importantly that I’ve only got a few days to finish moving out but I’m not even here three days a week so time is short and to add to that, the company that provided the skip (big steel bucket what for throwing large amounts of crap in) was supposed to pick it up this morning but won’t until at least Monday so I have no vehicular access here until they do. I’m starting to really resent my weekly 500 mile round trip, just a little, too. THINK POSITIVE THOUGHTS. There is much to be thankful for.

    • limey

      Ps – I had some notion that muricans have a different word for skip, in case it seems absurd

      • Gender Traitor

        dumpster?

      • limey

        I always thought of dumpsters being on wheels.

        Skip

      • db

        It’s a pretty generic term.

      • Gender Traitor

        Dumpsters are stationary. Dump trucks are on wheels.

      • The Hyperbole

        We don’t differentiate, wheels or no wheels that’s a dumpster.

      • Don escaped Mississippi

        dumpster

        trunk, hood, elevator, truck

      • db

        Dumpster.

      • db

        Here, a “skip” is a metal hopper used for charging furnaces like ore roasters and blast furnaces and other kinds of shaft furnaces. I’ve seen them used in China for use in coal-based chemical plants. Probaby copied from US tech from the ’20s or so.

  37. straffinrun

    Read all these comments and not one pop up fact checking from WaPo. How do you enable that?

    • Floridaman

      I believe you need to clog your septic tank for Wa Po to pop up.

  38. Gadfly

    So apparently there was some bad proposition news out of this cycle: Florida decided they don’t like jobs, and voted for a $15 minimum wage. Such stupidity.

    • rhywun

      Critics warn the hike will kill jobs.

      Joke’s on us. The people who pushed this don’t actually care about jobs. The people who lose their jobs will just fall into the warm embrace of the government. Win-win.

    • Viking1865

      SLD, wage and price controls are bad.

      But look at the text

      A “yes” vote supports the initiative to increase the state’s minimum wage incrementally until reaching $15 per hour in September 2026.

      With the drunken spending spree the Congress and Trump went on this year, with more to come, 15 dollars won’t buy you a carton of eggs in 2026.

      • Floridaman

        And assuming Biden the following spending spree will have us using the dollar fuerte.