ZARDOZ FRIDAY NIGHT ADVICE

by | Nov 13, 2020 | Advice | 208 comments

THE TABERNACLE HAS ALL KNOWN AND RECORDED EPISODES OF JEOPARDY!

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ IS AWARE A BRUTAL ACTOR KNOWN AS “SEAN CONNERY” HAS PERISHED. HE MAY HAVE HAD A STRONG RESEMBLANCE TO ZED, BUT ZED IS STILL LEADING THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS, AND COLLECTING GRAIN SLAVES FOR THE VORTEX. HE DID MENTION GOING TO SEE A MUSIC ACT CALLED “LOU REED” SOMETIME LATER TONIGHT. BUT ZED’S SOCIAL PLANS ARE NOT ZARDOZ’S CONCERN. ZARDOZ IS HERE TO INSTRUCT.

 

ZARDOZ WILL ONCE AGAIN PROVIDE BETTER ADVICE THAN ANY BRUTAL.

 

Q: My husband and I own a condo in a building with 22 units. Because of COVID, one of the HOA board members has posted signs stating “rules” throughout the building. The rules are typical for these trying times, but the number of signs is obsessive. Many of the residents dislike the signs, but my husband was the one who wrote a nasty letter to the HOA about how many are posted.

The board member who was responsible for posting the signs was a friend of mine. Her feelings were hurt, and she has made some snide remarks about the letter. A group of women meet weekly for happy hour, and she and I are both part of that group. I feel caught in the middle. My husband has had a hard time getting over being mad about the signs, and I know the HOA member is angry at him. I just want to go to happy hour and drink and gossip. Why can’t we all just get along?

A: ZARDOZ BELIEVES THAT YOUR HOA “FRIEND”… LET US REFER TO HER AS “KAREN” FOR PURPOSES OF THIS ADVICE … IS LUCKY SHE HASN’T BEEN CLEANSED BY THE OTHER CONDO OWNERS. IF YOUR HUSBAND WASN’T A WEAKLING, HE WOULD HAVE CLEANSED “KAREN” HIMSELF. AS IT IS APPARENT YOU WON’T STEP UP AND POISON “KAREN’S” DRINK AT HAPPY HOUR, ZARDOZ WILL SEND BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS TO HELP.

GOTCHA, KAREN!

ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

Q: As we return to work, businesses and expanded health care are opening up after the pandemic shutdown. We all are pretty much required to wear masks anywhere we go these days.

I am a deaf person and rely on lip-reading for communication. Wearing a mask has shut out my contact with the hearing world as far as communication goes. I have been mistreated in more ways than one because masks do not allow me to lip read. When I’m not able to have a sign language interpreter with me, I bring a pen and pad everywhere I go to converse as best as I can.

I am a very patient person; however, people in the public sector are not being patient nor compassionate in helping us deaf individuals. Please understand, we are trying to communicate as best as we can. We simply ask the community to be patient and either lower your mask to respond, or write your response. Yelling through the mask is pointless.

A: ZARDOZ IS SHOCKED, SHOCKED TO FIND IMPATIENT AND INSENSITIVE PEOPLE IN THE PUBLIC SECTOR! SEND ZED THE COORDINATES OF THE PUBLIC SECTOR OFFICES THAT HAVE TROUBLED YOU – IT WILL BE GRAIN SLAVERY FOR THE LOT OF THEM!

WHERE IS YOUR SEIU REP NOW?

AS FOR YOUR YOUR PARTICULAR HEARING DIFFICULTY. IT IS POSSIBLE THE VORTEX HAS TECHNOLOGY TO HELP YOU. ASK ZED WHEN YOU SEE HIM ROUNDING UP THE DMV WORKERS.

ENSLAVE DMV, REPEAT, ENSLAVE DMV.

ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

About The Author

ZARDOZ

ZARDOZ

SERVANT OF THE TABERNACLE, THE ETERNALS OF THE VORTEX. FOR FURTHER INFORMATION, SEE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwZhKGgmoUI

208 Comments

  1. Brochettaward

    No more Mr. Nice Bro. No more fun happy time. I’m here to First and cleanse brutals. And I’m all out of brutals.

    • Ted S.

      You never were nice.

      • Brochettaward

        I am benevolent. Much like Trump or any great ruler, I won’t be fully appreciated until I’m gone.

    • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

      I firsted last night without even trying. Firsting is easy

      • Q Continuum

        Did you use protection?

      • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

        Hell no, I rawdogged that post.

      • Brochettaward

        You wouldn’t know a First if it snuck up on you and fucked you in the ass.

      • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

        I had heard that you were small, but man that is tiny.

      • Brochettaward

        I am the First of Firsters not the First itself. But I wouldn’t expect a fourther like you to know the difference.

      • The Hyperbole

        No one asked about your social life.

      • Trigger Hippie

        ?Elbow deep inside the borderline?

    • Aloysious

      Fist the brutals? What?

  2. westernsloper

    Deaf person should use middle finger sign language while holding a sign, “I am deaf asshole, lower your mask!”

    • Sean

      Carrying around a sign seems burdensome. Put that phrase on a hat.

      • rhywun

        Make America Garrulous Again

      • Count Potato

        LOL

      • TARDis

        I can’t remember the last time I heard/read that word.

      • Grummun

        The benefits of a classical education.

    • Florida Man

      Your need to understand doesn’t trump my right to live forever. Fuck you deafie!

      • CPRM

        Your need white privilege to understand doesn’t trump my right to live forever. Fuck you deafie!

      • Florida Man

        Better

    • LemonGrenade

      This is one thing I find especially maddening about the face panties. I knew I had hearing loss from a really bad childhood ear infection, but until everyone started cosplaying Bane I never realized just how much of my ability to understand other people relied on lipreading. And I can still hear fairly well. Now I’m like a little old granny hollering “could you repeat that?” I really feel sorry for the deaf and other severely hard of hearing during this.

      • Drake

        I’m not far from there either. Infections, rock concerts, machine guns, and a tank that fired near me.

        And people often mumble and are muffled by those things.

      • Count Potato

        ” machine guns, and a tank”

        At least you are prepared.

      • Drake

        Unfortunately Uncle Sam wanted that gear back.

      • Count Potato

        It makes it more difficult to communicate overall — tone of voice, facial expressions, etc.

      • Trigger Hippie

        NPC Nation, baby. Embrace the future of automated humanity.

        *expressionless wave of greeting*

      • Count Potato

        “In October 2018, users of r/The_Donald, a large subreddit that supported United States President Donald Trump,[17] coordinated in creating accounts presented as NPCs on the American microblogging and social networking service Twitter.[7] According to The Week, the accounts spread “bland, politically correct messages intended to mimic and provoke liberal pronouncements”.[5] Following the mass creation of NPC Twitter accounts, the term “NPC” was used over 30,000 times on Twitter in a time span of 24 hours.[7] Twitter responded to the event by banning more than 1,500 of its users presenting themselves as NPCs.[5] The created accounts typically used profile pictures of NPC with slight modifications, such as colorful hair or partially covering masks.[4] According to one or more anonymous sources quoted by The Week and The New York Times, the users were banned for violating a term of use by Twitter against “intentionally misleading election-related content”, ahead of the United States 2018 midterm election.[4][5] The claim that NPC memes were used to spread misinformation about the 2018 United States midterm election is also reported by other news agencies, including The Verge,[1] BBC[7] and The Independent,[2] although no examples are presented. The decision by Twitter to remove NPC accounts has upset many conservatives according to BBC,[7] and following a review of Twitter’s banning of accounts, the conservative nonprofit media watchdog Media Research Center raised the concern that Twitter was upholding a double standard favoring the political left.[16]”

      • blackjack

        This. I blew out an ear riding in a car when I was a teen ager. Fell asleep on the back seat and my ear sealed at sea level, woke up at the top of the mountain and unsealed it. Now, I can barely hear out of that side. I don’t read lips per se, but I watch faces to figure out the message via context. It’s way harder to insist on a high volume level.

      • Don escaped Two Corinthians

        open headers and a zillion miles at 80MPH with the windows down

      • blackjack

        Well, that helped. And people say, ” My motor’s making a noise” Then, I have to put my ear right up against it and try to find it. Yeah, even those extra loud ” bro-mobiles!” Windshields make high speed runs way easier on the ears.

      • Q Continuum

        I was always the one out of my group wearing earplugs at concerts.

        They called me a loser then, but I’m the only one without tinnitus.

        #lastlaugh

      • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

        So you can hear all the stupid things people say?

  3. Trigger Hippie

    ‘Many of the residents dislike the signs, but my husband was the one who wrote a nasty letter to the HOA about how many are posted.’

    Silly Rabbit, just tear them down when nobody is looking, deposit the remains in a trash bin off the property, and when questioned if you saw anything, mutter: “Damn teenagers”, then go about your day. Rinse, repeat.

    • blackjack

      Just change various words to expletives with a sharpie. You know like covagina, sucky distancing, that kind of thing.

  4. Q Continuum

    “The rules are typical for these trying times”

    Cleanse them all.

    • Florida Man

      The scope rings I ordered for my long range build were too short. Trying times indeed.

      • Q Continuum

        I applaud your courage to even get up in the morning.

      • Florida Man

        I endeavor to persevere.

  5. Rebel Scum

    We all are pretty much required to wear masks anywhere we go these days.

    I do not participate in convid-1984 minstrel theater.

    • Trigger Hippie

      I still know a few holdout businesses who put up the required signs but otherwise don’t give a rat’s ass. Oddly enough, they’ve received an exorbitant amount of money from me in comparison to previous years, despite the slight increase of the price of goods and less options. Funny that…

      Am I alone here?

      • LemonGrenade

        You are not. We spend a lot more money at the local bodega and the nearest 7-11 because they don’t give a shit and have made it clear they think the face panties are dumb too. And we’ve just stopped spending money anywhere that requires us to muzzle up, with the exception of the grocery store, and only when they insist.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Cool, cool. Good to know that somebody else is willing to *fight the good fight*, no matter how irrational. 😉

        *I swear, if any of you link to Triumph, I’ll leap through this screen and kick you in the junk.

      • LemonGrenade

        It’s a choice dealing with the bubbling rage that seeing everyone dressed liked they were rabid and a danger to others inspires in me, or withdrawing like a turtle. I’ve chosen to go with withdrawal, whilst planning to move to a more rural spot where everyone ignores mask mandates anyway.

        And it’s not irrational! I can’t even have my blankets near my mouth when I sleep, or I feel like I’m not getting enough oxygen. Five minutes in a mask and I feel like I’m going to faint and start tugging it below my nose. That people are forcing children to endure this is straight up child abuse.

      • Trigger Hippie

        ‘And it’s not irrational! I can’t even have my blankets near my mouth when I sleep, or I feel like I’m not getting enough oxygen. Five minutes in a mask and I feel like I’m going to faint and start tugging it below my nose.’

        That’s fair. Around eight years ago I was exposed to an unhealthy amount of muriatic acid fumes and coughed up blood for three days. Since then, wearing breathing filters has been a strain. I can still manage for work but after a couple hours I need some fresh air for five to ten minutes or I feel oxygen deprived. I’m sure my smoking habit doesn’t help.

      • blackjack

        I’m with you. Never surrender on this!

      • Trigger Hippie

        You motherfucker…

      • blackjack

        C’mon man, they’re just a less talented version of Rush.

      • blackjack

        ‘sides, I thought you just meant Fight The Good Fight.

        This one’s old enough to be OK and, it’s not an Emmet song.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I.Hate.Rush.

        Yes, yes, beloved of the Gen Xers here, “quasi-libertarian”, insanely musically gifted, blah. The parts were greater than the sum. Few bands irritate me more.

      • Count Potato

        “C’mon man, they’re just a less talented version of Rush.”

        Way less talented, if that song is any indication.

      • blackjack

        Well, it was played on KMET when I was a kid. Lotta people like new wave for that reason. You ever hear that shit?

      • pistoffnick

        A man who hates Rush *shakes head*

        It takes all kinds…

  6. DEG

    A: ZARDOZ BELIEVES THAT YOUR HOA “FRIEND”… LET US REFER TO HER AS “KAREN” FOR PURPOSES OF THIS ADVICE … IS LUCKY SHE HASN’T BEEN CLEANSED BY THE OTHER CONDO OWNERS. IF YOUR HUSBAND WASN’T A WEAKLING, HE WOULD HAVE CLEANSED “KAREN” HIMSELF. AS IT IS APPARENT YOU WON’T STEP UP AND POISON “KAREN’S” DRINK AT HAPPY HOUR, ZARDOZ WILL SEND BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS TO HELP.

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS THE TRUTH!

    Now if he would just give me the Gift of the Gun so I didn’t have to spend so much money at upcoming auction…..

    • Florida Man

      Whiney Bitch: I want to go out and talk shit about other people. Not me and mine. Wahhhh!!!

    • Sean

      Whatcha looking at getting?

      • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

        Tsar Bomba

      • Aloysious

        ^This is the best of answers

      • DEG

        Hard to find Lee-Enfield variants plus maybe a Webley Mk VI and/or 5.7 ammo.

      • Sean

        Things I’ll never bid on. Rock on dude. ?

      • DEG

        I’m bidding now.

      • DEG

        Bids placed. We’ll see how I do next weekend.

  7. Yusef drives a Kia

    I went for coffee this morning on the way to work and saw a mouthy woman in a mask walk up behind me, in a mask, I was fed up and said, “why are you wearing a mask and not social distancing from me?” Oh I’m so sorry, in a condescending tone, I replied, “noticed I’m not wearing a mask? and walked off, Fucking hypocrites, and I hate people crowding me in line,

    • Sean

      PA is masks everywhere indoors, but no distancing. No one seems to give a fuck.

      I interviewed some dude who kept wearing a mask, after I asked him if he minded that I wasn’t wearing one. He didn’t mind.

      Strange times we live in.

      • Brochettaward

        A large amount of people just don’t want to rock the boat.

        Which is what those who would rule us count on.

    • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

      I dunno, I’d think it was kind of evil if I unwrapped one of them and found a penis.

    • DEG

      #6. Yes. Nice iChive gallery… except for that face diaper picture.

      I like #7.

      #10.

      #18 is cute.

      #21 looks kinda crazy.

      I like #29’s iChive gallery.

      #36. Yum.

      #42 is cute.

      #44. Disqualified. Face diaper.

      #46. Pigtails. Yes.

      #47. Yes.

      #49. Disqualified. Face diaper.

      #69. Disqualified. Face diaper.

    • Brochettaward

      I want to see her walk with those. There’s no way she’s not waddling around like the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

    • rhywun

      Fake so who cares?

    • pistoffnick

      I guess I have found my limit. Those are NOT attractive to me.

    • Chafed

      That’s insane.

  8. Florida Man

    I was listening to Islands in the stream the other day and noticed it synced with ghetto superstar. I don’t know if it was sampled, but it was uncanny.

    • Gdragon

      I’m the only one that read this and thought “Is he being serious when he says that he never realized this or putting us on?”

      • slumbrew

        It was 50/50 for me; it seemed obvious to me the first time I heard it, but who knows how people process such things. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

      • slumbrew

        Pras is just stone-faced while telling this crazy story about ODB. I suspect he doesn’t have much of a sense of humor.

      • Gdragon

        Right? It’s a great story that gave him his greatest success and he tells it like he’s still holding a grudge cause he had other work he wanted to use that studio time for.

  9. Sean

    USPS delivered some more mags today. ?

    • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

      Were they wrapped in late ballots?

      • Sean

        Nope.

        ?

    • rhywun

      I got some light bulbs and condiment squeeze bottles. ?‍♂️

      • pistoffnick

        kinky!

      • rhywun

        😉

    • EvilSheldon

      I went a little crazy on the Shadow 2 magazines, probably because they’re so cheap compared to what I’m used to. I’m up to twelve standard capacity, three +2s, and six extendos, and six more extendos are on the way. I think I need another Shadow to spread them out a little…

      • Florida Man

        Duel wield FTW!

      • EvilSheldon

        It’s like sucking dick, or doing curls at the gym. It’s okay to try it, but don’t do it when other people are around, and don’t brag about it afterwards…

  10. Aloysious

    HAIL COWDOZ

    I miss the hat.

  11. Sean

    We’re going to the Greenbrier for vacation. GF gets to plan the whole thing. She’s giddy with excitement.

    So cute to watch her explain it to me.

    • Don escaped Two Corinthians

      Hiz and herz massages?

      Don’t fergit your clubs.

      • Brochettaward

        You only allow your girl to be massaged by other females.

        This is a golden rule.

      • Sean

        We were set to get couples lessons right before Kung Flu, golfing has been pushed back a bit.

    • LJW

      Just looked up the Greenbrier. The hotel looks like it took the brown acid.

      • Sean

        I’m not sure which hits her buttons more…falconry, sporting clays, or glass blowing…

      • Q Continuum

        We’re not even trying with the euphemisms anymore.

      • slumbrew

        I was looking forward to trying sporting clays – hell, I’ve never even fired a shotgun before (yes, yes, I’ll turn in my Glibs card).

        The sporting clays was what convinced my brother-in-law to actually go.

      • blackjack

        It’s aircooled fer crissakes!

    • Floridaman

      Ah the hotel with a built in nuclear shelter, only bad news is you would have to share with Congress critters, imagine being locked in a concrete box with Nancy Pelosi.

      • Florida Man

        I’m not locked in there with her. She’s locked in there with me!

      • Floridaman

        Rick May? Glad to see you are still alive.

      • EvilSheldon

        Yeah, but a boiling-grease facial would probably improve Nancy’s looks…

      • EvilSheldon

        That would be awesome! For me, anyway.

    • slumbrew

      I was supposed to go on an extended family vacation to the Greenbrier this July. Much like my birthday trip to Napa, add that to the list of “shit that got fucked by 2020”.

    • Trigger Hippie

      Nonsense. My ass hasn’t been that firm in years.

    • Aloysious

      Where’s his thumb going?

      • Q Continuum

        Failed attempt at the shocker.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      Hey, dipshit, your hat is on backwards.

      • straffinrun

        The neck tatt really pulls the look together.

    • Rebel Scum

      Evening.

      Seems like the wrong way to grab ass. Can’t get a full palm grasp.

  12. Drake

    AT&T looking to sell CNN.

    Be funny if Trump bought it.

    • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

      You cannot put a price on Truth

      Вы не можете назначить цену за правду

    • Q Continuum

      Troll Level: Omnipotent.

      • TARDis

        Galactic Overlord

    • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

      How do you put a price on Truth

      • blackjack

        First, you have to have some.

      • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

        Pravda means Truth tovarisch

      • Rebel Scum

        They have plenty of truth, but no facts.

      • Florida Man

        It’s about tree-fiffy.

    • Tres Cool

      This….is TNN.

    • Rebel Scum

      Fires Zucker. Installs DT Jr. Epic.

    • LJW

      If he gave Hope Hicks and Kayleigh McEnany their own show I’d tune in.

      • Rebel Scum

        #Metoo

      • Count Potato

        That’s not even a euphemism.

    • Drake

      That was a good plane much better than the shitty 102 that W Bush flew.

      • Rebel Scum

        Wasn’t that a predecessor in the same line of development? (the plane, not the Bush..)

      • Not an Economist

        Yes. The 106 was a derivative of the 102 — lots of changes but the 106 was what the 102 was supposed to be. The biggest issues with the F102 was for a supersonic interceptor it had trouble going supersonic. Trouble was the transonic drag was too high. They figured out something called the “area rule” that minimized the increase in cross sectional area of the airplane You can see it by comparing the fuselage of both airplanes. The F102 fuselage basically had the same profile all the way back while the F106 had a part of the fuselage that was narrowed.

    • Plinker762

      Delta Dart what is that missile you have one?
      Could it be a Genie from days gone by?

      • Plinker762

        one = on

  13. J. Frank Parnell

    A group of women meet weekly for happy hour, and she and I are both part of that group.

    Wait, hold on, a group of people? Meeting up? In public?

    My scientific models predict that everyone involved in this story was dead from covid before the letter was even published.

  14. Rebel Scum

    Tim Pool says the Goolag deleted his stream from last night because he had Alex Jones on as a guest. (I watched a bit of it. AJ was doing AJ things and TP was a gracious host.)

    • Crusty Juggler

      The Rogan, Jones, Tim Dillon episode is wonderful because Rogan controls and fact checks Jones, tries to keep Jones in check, all while Tim laughs.

    • Crusty Juggler

      More like Tim Drool if you know what I mean.

  15. Rebel Scum

    This segment is rather astounding. They are going to go after him for some bs if/when he loses. Speaking of norms…what was all that about GWB being a war-criminal (never mind the criminality of the Obama admin…)?

    • Brochettaward

      They will go after him. I’ve argued about this with some people I know. The left can’t help themselves.

    • Count Potato

      “The AP has called the Presidential race for Joe Biden. See more on Google.

      Robust safeguards help ensure the integrity of elections and results. Learn more”

  16. The Bearded Hobbit

    NM just shut down the state for two weeks. That pegged my bullshit meter and I sent off the following to my daughters:

    So I heard about the new diktats that Dear Leader is (illegally) imposing on her subjects.

    Reality check:

    This isn’t the Black Plague where 50% of people who came in contact died. People have been trying to compare this to the Spanish Flu but it’s not even close. Millions of people died from the flu where the numbers for our panic are a fraction of that (and those numbers are artificially enhanced).

    Recovery rate for a normal flu season: 99.9%
    Recovery rate for COVID-1984: 99.7%
    However;
    Recovery rate for people under 50: 99.95%
    Recovery rate for people under 20: 100%

    The median age of death for COVID patients is higher than the median age of death for all Americans.

    Quarantine is where sick people are locked up.
    Tyranny is where healthy people are locked up.

    This is bullshit and needs to end.

    • pistoffnick

      Yes. Yes, it does.

      *tunes up wood chipper*

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        I think that I got the quarantine/tyranny line from you, Nick.

    • Plinker762

      Why do you want your daughters to die?

    • Rebel Scum

      Is life so dear or peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery?

  17. Not an Economist

    If this is true this is some scary shit. Like real 3rd world shit. People should go to jail but won’t.

    • Rebel Scum

      Saw something about that earlier. Wasn’t sure what to make of it because the article was inconclusive to the headline. Generals or whoever lying to the CnC need to be dealt with harshly and with prejudice.

      • Rebel Scum

        Also, kinda begs the question: were these people lying to and/or using Barry, considering candidate Barry ran on bringing the troops home but still got us involved in more Middle-eastern conflicts? I think I may be lacking information or not remembering the Obama years correctly but this now seems like a possibility.

      • Not an Economist

        Read the article. The Ambassador is actually complimentary of Trump to the point he recommends Biden keep Trumps policy in the middle east. But Trump ordered something done and his underlings played shell games to thwart that policy. That is extremely dangerous especially when it involves the military.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      I guess the interagency is in charge.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      BuT drUMpF wAs GoInG tO aBanDOn Muh KuRDs!!!!!!

    • blackjack

      Meh, needs more butter and lemon.

    • Rebel Scum

      First inclination: Why the fuck would they have US election data?

      Second inclination: Maybe the Trump admin. knew what was going on all along?

      I am running out of tinfoil here.

    • Count Potato

      Last I read, Scytl stores U.S. election results on a server fin Frankfurt, Germany. Even more astounding, Scytl was based in Barcelona but no seems sure who owns it.

      https://threader.app/thread/1327277595583414274

      • Count Potato

        um, in, not fin

        Although it does seem fishy.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      Sounds bogus. What jurisdiction would the US Army have in Germany?

      • Gadfly

        Probably bogus, as the US doesn’t have any bases in Frankfurt any more so I can’t imagine the SOFA would give them any jurisdiction there. Although it should be noted that the US does have slightly more latitude to do as it pleases in the former Axis countries than elsewhere, for obvious reasons.

    • Urthona

      i heard this was false.

  18. Chipping Pioneer

    Whenever I feel resigned to giving into the social pressure to wear a mask, I come here and read the advice of ZARDOZ. And I am cleansed.

  19. Ownbestenemy

    Zardoz crapped all over my motherboard. Pretty sure I have a blown memory controller. Windows is reserving half the memory as unusable.

    • slumbrew

      blown memory controller

      Twenty bucks, same as downtown.

  20. Rebel Scum

    An online image search for “office of the president elect” turns up nothing but Doddering Joe’s Joker mug in front of signs saying the same even though that is not and has never been a thing. This level of propaganda is beyond Orwellian and is very concerning.

  21. Gustave Lytton

    What a fucking nightmare. First real snow of the season in the mountains and jackasses be jackasses. 5.5 hours to drive a normal 2.5 hour. Got to spend an hour and half alone admiring Plinker762’s work while a wreck got cleared. Well if it wasn’t close to whiteout conditions.

    Finally got home and promptly ended the week of no alky.

    • Plinker762

      I’m in Anchorage this week. It has been snowing on and off and the drivers seem to be handling it fairly well.

      From the reports I’ve seen, I-90 just west of Spokane had to be closed.

  22. Chipwooder

    ENSLAVE DMV

    Everyone hates us *sobbing*

    None of you can possibly hate me as much as I hate myself for working there.

    • Chafed

      I’ll bet some of us are up to the challenge.

    • dontreadonme

      So this is how you serve out your murder conviction?

  23. DenverJ

    Hello, everyone. I had just had a weird thought that I wanted to share, and well, you know?
    Proposition: at this point in the timeline, it is still possible for Donald Trump to win reelection, the Republucans could take the House, while the Democrats could win control of the Senate.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Schrödinger’s ballot box?

      • DenverJ

        Nice

      • DenverJ

        Also, “We won’t know who won the election until we certify the election” – Nancy Pelosi

    • Plinker762

      SMOD can still win too. I longingly search the skies.

      • limey

        You black pilled af rn. Keep the faith! Trust in these corrupt institutions and blatant hypocrites is eroding every day! The left can take our civic institutions but they can never take our FREEDOM!

        *is handed a note card*

        Oh, apparently that’s how they take our freedom.

        It’s always an uphill battle to be fought.

    • Rebel Scum
  24. Akira

    OT: What are some great books on sales techniques and psychology?

    There have been some changes at my job that I’m not happy about, and I’m exploring new career options. One of my ideas was some kind of sales role. I did a lot of freelance copywriting in the past and read a lot of books about marketing and advertising, so I do have some idea of the principles at work. I just think it would be beneficial to learn more about sales to see if it’s something I might be able to do.

    • Chafed

      How to Master the Art of Selling by Tom Hopkins

      Persuasion Engineering by Richard Bandler and John Lavalle

  25. Sean

    *looks around*

    Anyone here?

    • dontreadonme

      So Q plays violin. Good to know.

  26. Sean

    Release the Kraken!