THIS TRANSMISSION IS CLASSIFIED…FOR NOW

by | Nov 30, 2020 | Big Government, Cryptids, Deep State, Federal Power | 281 comments

THE FOLLOWING TRANSMISSION IS CLASSIFIED

AT LEAST FOR THE TIME BEING…THE ORANJ MAN CAN STILL BURN US UNTIL JANUARY.

WE SHIT-CANNED THE PRESIDENT, GUESS WHAT WE CAN DO TO YOU.

THATS RIGHT, NOT A DAMN THING BECAUSE YOUR NOT A THREAT TO US.  WE DON’T CARE THAT YOU NOTICED THE WRONG YOUR, OUR INCONSISTENT USE OF CONTRACTIONS, OR THE FACT WE SHOULD HAVE ENDED THE LAST PARAGRAPH WITH A QUESTION MARK.  THIS IS THE GOVERNMENT, WE DO WHAT WE WANT.  SO KEEP THIS TRANSMISSION TO YOURSELF PLEB.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS CLASSIFIED

 

25 November 2020; Location:  Ft. Lee, VA

Why yes ladies, I am back. Did you miss me?

Imagine if you will…being a man with all the answers.  The entire world gone MAD with simultaneous grief and elation over the downfall of a petty evil.  This evil exists only in the minds of those living in a perpetual state of hysteric adolescence.  The same evil loved by those in a perpetual state of adolescent hysteria.

Why did this happen?  An unexpected turn of events involving a presidential election turned otherwise intelligent people into empty shells of their former selves seeking answers.  Only one man knows the truth.

“Do any of you fucking people hear yourselves talking?”

This man sits quietly.  Smoking indoors the break room in a government office, watching televisions set to CNN, Fox, Al Jazeera, and OANN, while swiping through a government Twitter account.

“There never was a virus, genius.  The vaccine is nothing more than a micro-dose of opiates to give citizens the impression the virus in the vaccine made then sick.  All those people were in the hospital after an encounter with SPACE SMITH.”

His baseless claims go unnoticed by ordinary citizens, as they are considered to be said without evidence.

“You’re wrong sugartits.  The election was RAPED by SPACE SMITH.   I told you he was coming since the Carter administration!”

This one man, infuriated by those that choose not to accept the truth, continues to speak his own truth.

“SPACE SMITH is a more than plausible reason for Georgia’s election being RAPED by SPACE SMITH.”

“I still hear your twang through your Twitter feed.  I know why you struggle to gag out outlandish theories on Newsmaxx.  I know you carry a vaginal strengthening weight everywhere you go…I can END YOU and your KRAKEN…but I kinda want a piece of that.”


“Your goddamn right it was censored.  You think SPACE SMITH is the only one that knows his way around the backdoor to Sid Powell’s account!?”

Even if this man seems insane and dejected, understand this is the one man that knows the truth…

…but now you know.

How you handle this knowledge is dependent upon you.

How you accept.

How you adapt.

How you overcome the lies dancing inside the confines of your ever delicate sub-conscious.

”Goddamn you Tucker Carlson, IT WAS SPACE SMITH THE WHOLE TIME.”

 

THE FOLLOWING TRANSMISSION IS CLASSIFIED

AT LEAST FOR THE TIME BEING…THE ORANJ MAN CAN STILL BURN US UNTIL JANUARY.

WE SHIT-CANNED THE PRESIDENT, GUESS WHAT WE CAN DO TO YOU.

THATS RIGHT, NOT A DAMN THING BECAUSE YOUR NOT A THREAT TO US.  WE DON’T CARE THAT YOU NOTICED THE WRONG YOUR, OUR INCONSISTENT USE OF CONTRACTIONS, OR THE FACT WE SHOULD HAVE ENDED THE LAST PARAGRAPH WITH A QUESTION MARK.  THIS IS THE GOVERNMENT, WE DO WHAT WE WANT.  SO KEEP THIS TRANSMISSION TO YOURSELF PLEB.

THIS TRANSMISSION IS CLASSIFIED

 

About The Author

SPACE SMITH

SPACE SMITH

281 Comments

  1. Don escaped Two Corinthians

    What kind of transmissions will the all-girl Biden comm team send?

    • Don escaped Two Corinthians

      worst first ever

      • Gadfly

        Tomorrow will it be “Don escaped Worst Firsting”?

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      I wonder if they will synchronize.

    • westernsloper

      I’m sure those college records are sealed.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Something about killing brown people for gender equality in Central Asia.

      • Don escaped Two Corinthians

        NewWife wonders what I’m cackling about

    • Urthona

      The all-female communications team story perfectly captures the Washington Post’s reporting.

      1) Not the slightest fact checking. Trump’s present communications team is all-female. It reminds me of when they celebrated Biden having the first openly gay cabinet member (Trump does already). Didn’t even bother.

      2) Trimp’s wasn’t the first anyway.

      3) Communications teams are historically female dominated. This is not a realm with glass ceilings left to shatter.

      4) Even if none of the three were true, who gives a shit?

      • rhywun

        Next thing you know, females will be communicating from the sidelines of men’s sports teams.

      • Jarflax

        Will they be communicating fertility and willingness?

      • SandMan

        is that Scott Adam’s squeeze?

      • Jarflax

        Ok, I may have dismissed cartoonist as a profession too soon.

      • Gadfly

        4) Even if none of the three were true, who gives a shit?

        Superficial symbolism sells.

    • Jarflax

      “We all need to pitch in and pay our fair share to fight____________________.

      climate change
      racism
      transphobia
      ableism
      nerotypicalism
      white supremacy
      sexism
      bigotry
      income disparity
      unfettered capitalism
      bad luck
      volcanic eruptions
      blizzards
      tornados
      ageism
      aging
      death
      famine
      war
      pestilence

      • westernsloper

        aging

        We got that covered already. Nobody dies of old age they die of Covid. Old age has been cancelled so you must comply.

      • mikey

        “nerotypicalism”
        My Glib Word-of-the-Day.
        Thx

      • MikeS

        Listicles

  2. Yusef drives a Kia

    And then nothing happened….

    • Ted S.

      I thought it was going to be this.

      • Suthenboy

        That really brings me back, but no.
        The divide has gotten wide and the left just won’t quit pushing. I am hearing people widely considered as serious voices alluding to civil war.

        Keep your powder dry.

    • westernsloper

      That was great! Suthen drops another band I never heard of but will look up again.

      • Suthenboy

        Try that band and ‘Cavalry’.

        It gets dusty in the room very quickly.

      • westernsloper

        Again a good one.

      • Ted S.

        You don’t like the bands I drop?

    • DEG

      Oh yeah.

  3. westernsloper

    I am not sure if I should applaud or feel insulted.

    • westernsloper

      I’ve decided to applaud because I am ok with being insulted. Thanks SPACE!

      • JMBOO

        Can one truely be insulted when one is being raped for one’s own good? The greater good? Love?

        Just lie bacj and think of Engkand.

  4. But Enough About My Wild Culinary Fantasies

    Re-posted from the previous thread which managed to die whilst I was in mid-missive (how rude):

    The spousal unit, myself, and the Snugglepup went for a walk in several of our river valley’s many tributary ravines this afternoon, and enjoyed ourselves. Well, until we ran into a great dump of human feces along one of the trails. The dumper was not only desperate, but decided to use his/her Commie Coof mask to, uh, clean up afterwards. We discovered all this while a slightly annoyed lady who was walking her dog tried to keep said dog from “exploring” the dump and the mask more thoroughly.

    At least the mask was finally useful for something.

    • Ted S.

      Hawt.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Ted? a Coprophile? who knew?

      • But Enough About My Wild Culinary Fantasies

        Ew.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      And I thought Bella was bored….

    • Jarflax

      You know your handle synergizes with this post in a deeply disturbing way.

      • But Enough About My Pulsating, Geriatric Pecs

        That’s probably why I was just moved to change it. (See what I did there? ”Moved”? Eh? Eh? **HEAVY SIGH** I’ll see myself out…)

      • rhywun

        I’m weirdly aroused now.

      • But Enough About My Pulsating, Geriatric Pecs

        Got a pic from the Uffizi for you, d00d.

      • westernsloper

        Meta

    • Suthenboy

      “See them women letting their dogs lick their face? You know what that dog has been eatin’ if they have been out where they can get it.” – my uncle

    • Suthenboy

      Save one or two every governor in the country should be hanged for what they have done.

      • But Enough About My Pulsating, Geriatric Pecs

        Yep. The only Canadian premier who gets out of a hangin’ is Kenney (Alberta), and only by the skin of his teeth — he’s actually formally and publicly rejected any further lockdowns as being counterproductive. Now, a good tar-‘n-featherin’, on the other hand…

      • Suthenboy

        I think you have those backwards. I’ll take a hangin’ any day over boiling tar and feathers.

      • commodious spittoon

        I think it was pine tar, not pitch. Meant to be painful and humiliating, not debilitating.

      • commodious spittoon

        Funny, every time I mention lynching politicians, people look at me like I’m crazy. After this year, after these infringements and usurpations, for this unremarkable disease. There’s nothing we won’t abide except maybe cutting off the internet, and even then we’ll accept it as long as it isn’t all at once.

      • Don escaped Two Corinthians

        of course you know: rich fat lazy people don’t lead insurrections

        Americans remind me of nothing so much as fattened cattle headed down that last chute

      • commodious spittoon

        Except it’s not even that, because at least that’s a definite punishment resulting in death. We’re sheep being promised nearer and nearer shearings till they’re taking skin with the wool like PETA pretends. And we* just voted for a closer guard on the shears.

        *”we”

      • Don escaped Two Corinthians

        we’ll get this metaphor ironed out sooner or later

      • Jarflax

        AS I PASS through my incarnations in every age and race,
        I make my proper prostrations to the Gods of the Market Place.
        Peering through reverent fingers I watch them flourish and fall,
        And the Gods of the Copybook Headings, I notice, outlast them all.

        We were living in trees when they met us. They showed us each in turn
        That Water would certainly wet us, as Fire would certainly burn:
        But we found them lacking in Uplift, Vision and Breadth of Mind,
        So we left them to teach the Gorillas while we followed the March of Mankind.

        We moved as the Spirit listed. They never altered their pace,
        Being neither cloud nor wind-borne like the Gods of the Market Place,
        But they always caught up with our progress, and presently word would come
        That a tribe had been wiped off its icefield, or the lights had gone out in Rome.

        With the Hopes that our World is built on they were utterly out of touch,
        They denied that the Moon was Stilton; they denied she was even Dutch;
        They denied that Wishes were Horses; they denied that a Pig had Wings;
        So we worshipped the Gods of the Market Who promised these beautiful things.

        When the Cambrian measures were forming, They promised perpetual peace.
        They swore, if we gave them our weapons, that the wars of the tribes would cease.
        But when we disarmed They sold us and delivered us bound to our foe,
        And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: “Stick to the Devil you know.”

        On the first Feminian Sandstones we were promised the Fuller Life
        (Which started by loving our neighbour and ended by loving his wife)
        Till our women had no more children and the men lost reason and faith,
        And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: “The Wages of Sin is Death.”

        In the Carboniferous Epoch we were promised abundance for all,
        By robbing selected Peter to pay for collective Paul;
        But, though we had plenty of money, there was nothing our money could buy,
        And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: “If you don’t work you die.”

        Then the Gods of the Market tumbled, and their smooth-tongued wizards withdrew
        And the hearts of the meanest were humbled and began to believe it was true
        That All is not Gold that Glitters, and Two and Two make Four
        And the Gods of the Copybook Headings limped up to explain it once more.

        As it will be in the future, it was at the birth of Man
        There are only four things certain since Social Progress began.
        That the Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her Mire,
        And the burnt Fool’s bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire;

        And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins
        When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins,
        As surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will burn,
        The Gods of the Copybook Headings with terror and slaughter return!

      • commodious spittoon

        The camps will be good for a great many thinks.

      • Don escaped Two Corinthians

        NOT MINE!!!!1!11!!!!11111

        He’s a doG-fearing Republican and is going to outlaw abortion any day now.

    • Gadfly

      So that’s the second Republican governor potentially facing impeachment from his own party for lock-down hysteria. An interesting, and welcome, development.

      • DEG

        Who is the second?

        The impeachment inquiry into the Clown Prince was withdrawn.

      • Gadfly

        Oh was it? Well, then down to one. I did not keep up with the news closely over the holiday extended weekend, so I just heard about the inquiry, not the withdrawal.

    • DEG

      Opening with RealDolls. Sigh.

      I didn’t get past #3. RealDolls don’t interest me.

  5. blackjack

    If all the news agencies started reporting that the last 11 months were actually part of 2019, that would be the only thing I believe from this whole year. The whole fucking year has been a lie. All of it. It’s all bullshit and it’s all bad for you.

  6. The Bearded Hobbit

    From last thread (Suthenboy)

    Being a decent man I am ashamed of my country’s politics. Creepy Joe Fuckin’ Biden, even if the election was hinkey as hell, got a very significant number of votes running on a “I am going to fuck you to death” platform. What the fuck is wrong with those people?

    Biden: I’m gonna raise your taxes!

    75 million people cheer!

    Biden: I’m gonna stop fracking and raise gas prices to $5 per gallon

    75 million people cheer louder!

    Biden: I’m going to raise electricity prices to $0.50 per kWhr!

    75 million people roar and stomp the floor in ecstasy.

    Biden: And I’m going to take everyones guns!

    75 million people faint with desire.

    Good and hard.

    • rhywun

      I think it’s up to 80 million now.

    • Jarflax

      The politicians are just dummies that the public project their desires and hatreds onto. The real enemy are the people in the arts, media, and edication that have instilled a distrust of personal accountability, and terror of independence, in a couple hundred million of our countrymen. I think we are badly outnumbered and have been for years. The saving grace is that a hundred million of them are so far gone they can’t even be bothered to fill out a ballot in exchange for their bread and circuses.

      • Jarflax

        edication… sigh, can I really claim to be literate when I can’t type a paragraph without obvious typos?

      • commodious spittoon

        I think we used call that a Johno.

    • Suthenboy

      I really am ashamed. A significant number of Americans apparently despise the greatest country in the history of the world.
      I have talked to people that (A) really do cheer this stuff and (B) are willing to go to war to stop it.
      Worse, I see TDS everywhere and not one of the sufferers can give any kind of cogent reason for it.
      I don’t see a good end to this.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        C’mon, youi have a half million rounds just looking for a place to use em, go get em tough guy….
        / put up or shut up, it’s getting old,

      • Suthenboy

        Been there, done that.

        “You spend weeks making your plans and those plans all go to hell when the first shot is fired.” -D. Eisenhower

        I don’t see a good end to this.

      • Jarflax

        Historically speaking it was a rare generation that didn’t experience something awful. We’ve been due for some time.

      • Urthona

        I dunno. Across the country Democrats mostly looked historically unpopular.

        It’s interesting.

    • creech

      All perhaps true but they media didn’t tell you this so where did you expect the voters to hear it?

    • Hyperion

      “What the fuck is wrong with those people?”

      Public school. Any more questions?

  7. DEG

    “There never was a virus, genius. The vaccine is nothing more than a micro-dose of opiates to give citizens the impression the virus in the vaccine made then sick. All those people were in the hospital after an encounter with SPACE SMITH.”

    Seems legit.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      It Was the Warriors What give us the Virus! Hail Virus! Hail Virus!

    • Suthenboy

      Given the reality of what I have seen for the last 4 years no conspiracy theory is beyond the pale.

    • blackjack

      Nobody trusts the vaccine and everybody knows they don’t really need it. I’ll be shocked if 50% of the people get the needle on this one. Those who do, will mostly be trying to get unlocked. I might have to, just to keep my job. Otherwise, hell no.

      • Urthona

        I have had it. I grew enormous breasts but no negative side effects.

      • pistoffnick

        ” I grew enormous breasts…”

        I have the weirdest boner right now.

      • one true athena

        ooh which one did you take again?

        NEWS I CAN FINALLY USE

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        The Mark, do you accept?

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        “Fuck off….employer” doesn’t quite have the same ring to it. We really need to update the branding

      • rhywun

        I don’t know which is the worse thing that seems increasingly likely that I will have to do in order to keep my job – get stabbed with the ‘vid, or submit to Critical Race Theory struggle sessions.

        IOW, I am not looking forward to 2021.

      • Suthenboy

        Never submit. Die with your boots on if you have to.

    • westernsloper

      From what I heard on NPR this morning the vaccine (whichever one they were talking about) gives you the flu/cold (or flu/cold like symptoms) for a few days. In which case, and not mentioned in the piece but required by my employer, you should not go to work. I am not sure they won’t be inoculating us with a variant of the common cold. Which makes me wonder why haven’t they done that before?

      • Suthenboy

        Good question.
        I am guessing that the common cold hasn’t inspired us to double down and find a cure because historically it has been only a nuisance illness and not fatal.

      • Urthona

        It’s the same as the flu vaccine. Your arm gets sore and you may experience minor flu like symptoms for 24 hours.

      • Drake

        They don’t vaccinate for common colds (corona viruses) because they change too fast for the vaccine to be effective.

      • Urthona

        Common colds are predominantly rhinovirii, there are 100 serotypes, and they mutate expediently.

        Although some pan-serotype vaccines have worked in animals, it isn’t worth it. 100 disease variants and a few might change every year?

        furthermore, common colds are rarely deadly.

        so it just isn’t worth it.

  8. "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

    Biden’s cabinet picks can basically be described as “war crimes, but now with more vagina”. Trump needed more vagina to deflect from our continuing genocide in Yemen. Instead he had one vagina (Pompeo) serving in like five different cabinet posts by the end.

    • Urthona

      And lots of lobbyists and career bureaucrats.

  9. Yusef drives a Kia

    I’ll be back, in better times, this is shit…..

  10. blackjack

    It’s historic that two state legislatures have disavowed the votes in their states. Prior to the post truth era, the news would be filled with these stories. Now, not a peep. You have to actively seek this info. There’s two states that are trying to appoint separate electors who will cast votes for the guy who is reported to have NOT won the states vote. If one more does and it succeeds, Trump wins the election. Fucking crazy and not even newsworthy by the mainstream press.

    • Urthona

      I don’t think that’s true.

      • blackjack

        At the minimum, they are making moves to do such. PA has stated it’s intention and AZ just did that too. That’s fucking historic. Even if the effort fails. Imagine this happening in 2k on Gore’s side. It would be the major thrust of every news agency in the world.

      • Urthona

        Yeah I agree with that. They’re trying. I don’t know that they can though.

        We all saw what the media did with the Russia nonsense though that was about 100x less suspicious.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      We live in a deeply broken culture with a deeply broken press.

      • Suthenboy

        “We read the news so we know what not to believe” – citizens of the USSR

      • commodious spittoon

        Our leftist thought leaders, or maybe just their financiers, aren’t true believers… they’re wannabe oligarchs hoping to inherit the post-Soviet equivalent of the United States… and their Leninist underlings, who might be desperate clingers-on or might be true believers, are happy to propel them to that place.

        I might be compressing half a century of Soviet communism into a couple years, but maybe it’s true.

        Obama, the Clintons, the Bushes, et al., they’re jockeying for position as oligarchs in the coming dissolution and gangsterification of the United States.

        Our dashcam videos are gonna be great, tho.

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      “It’s historic that two state legislatures have disavowed the votes in their states”

      Really? I thought they were just holding hearings?

      • blackjack

        Both hearings concluded that the votes are not trustworthy. PA has introduced a resolution stating that and has stated it will prosecute this as far as the supreme court if needed. AZ just vowed to do the same.

      • Urthona

        Yeah but the resolution never passed and now the session has ended.

      • blackjack

        You’re right, but a dozen or so of the people solely tasked by the US constitution with determining the election rules for PA are now solidly in opposition to the outcome and the way it was arrived at. PA’s ballot results will be decided by the S/C and the objecting lawmakers will figure into the final decision, no doubt.

    • DEG

      The PA legislature is no longer in session. Today (Nov. 30th) in even numbered years is the day all state representatives’ and half of state senators terms’ end. The next session does not begin until noon on the first Tuesday in January (for 2021, Jan. 5th).

      I think only the governor may call the legislature into a special session.

      Don’t expect anything from the PA legislature. Electoral college votes are cast on the 14th of December, delivered to Congress in late December, and counted on January 6th.

    • Suthenboy

      I don’t see a good end here.

      Trump somehow wins this election: The lefts histrionics push the country to violence

      Biden wins and the left wins the senate: The right is pushed to violence.

      Either way everyone loses.

      • straffinrun

        The right won’t be pushed to violence. *If the gun grabbing gets too grabby, maybe.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        We’ve already gone so much before where I would’ve painted the line for violence. Granted, these things don’t happen overnight… Until they do.

      • straffinrun

        The real line isn’t where the battle is raging. There is a much bigger philosophical difference between 0% tax vs 1% tax than there is between 1% tax vs 100%.

      • Jarflax

        Conservatives need someone or something to give a rebellion legitimacy. The idea of just rioting is anathema to them because it is very hard to mentally square burning things and killing people with upholding order UNLESS some leader or institution gives it legitimacy. Right wing revolutions tend to be from the military, or sparked by a leader who holds some high position. Anarchists, despite the dreams of many here, tend to be hard left and true believers that if they can only overthrow the forces of oppression by burning and breaking enough utopia can finally arise.

        The outrage on the right is real, but I don’t see it crystalizing in response to any step on the path to oppression. If it crystalizes at all it will be a movement supporting some ‘strong man’ who can somehow give a rebellion cover as a restoration or preservation of the Nation. I think that fear is why the media et al are all in on mocking any claim of election fraud. I think they genuinely fear that Trump will refuse to accept the results when he loses his last appeal, and call for armed resistance.

      • LemonGrenade

        I don’t think anything ‘real’ will happen until someone ends up going door to door and trying to collect firearms. We’ve put up with redefining the constitution to have a big asterisk for ‘whenever a virus the media and government panic over sufficiently’. I think there will likely be a geographic realignment, with the people closest to being fed up with basic restrictions on movement and economic activity relocating to redder states if they can, but none of the conservatives are going to react en masse until the police are going door to door trying to collect weaponry, and possibly not even then. It might wait until the police refuse to believe “I lost my rifle in an unfortunate boating accident. You really shouldn’t try to clean your weapons on a lake,” and barge in anyway.

      • LemonGrenade

        Well, that’s not depressing. I’m sticking with ‘just move, for now.’

      • Gustave Lytton

        Rape, carjacking, pimping children, bring a gun onto a school campus… just a few of the worst ways violent criminals can land on California’s No Gun list

        One of these things is not like the other…

    • blackjack

      The funny part is whenever a non-lefty says the election results are disputed, Twitter says that the dispute is disputed. They are so far up the left’s asshole, they are making nonsensical claims, just to proclaim their fealty.

      • Urthona

        There are legitimate claims here and there are some that I don’t really know.

        They absolutely let in thousands of mail that normally wouldn’t get certified, because they lightened the rules and more. I don’t know that this is fraud exactly.

        But how can anyone say Republicans don’t have a right to question some of these? Biden just appointed someone to his cabinet who claimed Russia hacked our voting machines in the last election. This wasn’t censored and I remember it well.

    • Hyperion

      One of their core rules, you do not stray from the narrative, no matter what. So what if communism always fails and kills hundreds of millions? It’s going to work this time. If voter fraud fails this time, they’ll go right back to the playbook and the narrative. That wasn’t real communism, there was no voter fraud. Double down, it’s going to work this time!

    • Urthona

      This Frankfurt story fascinates me.

      • Hyperion

        That actually happened last week if true. Not sure, can only be found on not very well known sites and dead soldiers, that would surely could not be hidden, especially if it was a raid on foreign soil by the US military.

      • Hyperion

        Natural causes. Anyone seen Hillary lately?

      • Hyperion

        She’s not old. Is any of this crazy stuff true?

      • Drake

        We’ll know tomorrow if she’s dead.

    • Hyperion

      I read on Parler earlier that she’s MIA.

    • rhywun

      the Frankfurt raid

      ?

      • straffinrun

        It’s all over the right (new right) blogs. No idea if it’s true.

      • Urthona

        So it’s probably not.

        But wow that would be interesting.

      • rhywun

        Oh. Yeah, I don’t follow that shit.

      • Jarflax

        Any minute now the super assassin with amnesia is going to walk into the Senate with the secret file documenting every detail of the vast conspiracy and right will triumph! Sorry I find this stuff every bit as far fetched as the other side’s “Nothing unusual or suspicious happened!

      • Hyperion

        At the moment, I don’t believe any of it. But the thing about Haspel, apparently she is missing or something, no idea.

      • Hyperion

        Well, it’s all over the Twatter now. I guess Jack had better do something.

      • Drake

        A couple of days after the election an Army Intel unit supposedly raided a Dominion facility in Germany and seized servers. And those servers allegedly will reveal all regarding election fraud.

        Now the plot has thickened and that said involved a shoot out between the army and CIA – the deaths being blamed on a helicopter crash.

        It’s an awesome story and would make a good Clancy or Ludlum novel. No idea what to believe but December might be interesting. Trump has gas been oddly quiet.

      • Urthona

        If this batshit Hollywood story were real I will eat my hat. But man do I love it. It’s got everything except a sex scene.

      • LemonGrenade

        Immediately flashes to image of sex involving Gina Haspel and regrets it.

      • MikeS

        hmmm…how many beers do I get first?

      • LemonGrenade

        Before you flash on imagery involving Gina Haspel in a sexual situation, or before you’d regret it?

      • MikeS

        Regret is for the next morning.

      • LemonGrenade

        The trick to that is to drink enough you don’t remember it.

      • rhywun

        There’s always room for regret.

      • Jarflax

        For guys there is a performance issue when drinking enough to black out in order to avoid remembering sex.

      • LemonGrenade

        @jarflax – I’m actually a bit jealous on that one; too drunk to perform frequently equals too drunk to consent. Since it doesn’t work that way with girls, I’ll just go with “never have sex with anyone you aren’t willing to admit to in public.”

      • Gustave Lytton

        There’s always room for regret.

        Was expecting Bill Cosby there.

      • Drake

        She looks like the really old version of that girl who was on Rosanne.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        *insert teaser scene with Trump rubbing sticks of butter on his nipples while the hair looks on, aghast*

      • LemonGrenade

        Gack. Now I’m regretting my own visualization whilst swallowing hard against vomiting.

      • Mojeaux

        Doesn’t have to be her, yanno.

      • Mojeaux

        I’ll get on that.

      • MikeS

        Chapter 18 redux

      • Mojeaux

        I strive never to redux a sex scene. That’s just unimaginative.

      • LemonGrenade

        I’m not sure even you could make that palatable. Dirty, yes. Palatable to the masses, no. Of course, I’m thinking of something involving Haspel and/or Trump….

      • Mojeaux

        Oh good heavens no.

      • MikeS

        …aaaand there’s the gag reflex.

      • hayeksplosives

        Michael Weston, Sam Axe, and Fiona Glenanne were last seen on a boat to Cuba yesterday…

      • rhywun

        Wow.

        Well, they do say truth is stranger than fiction.

      • Hyperion

        This is what happens when you lock people in their homes and tell them they can’t do anything fun for months. They want SOMETHING to happen.

  11. straffinrun

    I’m a fig newton of your imagination.

    • Hyperion

      I’m a filament of your imagination.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I am a Lepton thread out of he corner of our eye, Quick! now it’s gone….

      • straffinrun

        Guess I’m not that bright.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        The light that burns twice as bright, burns half as long,
        /ouch..

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Starships afire, off the shoulder of Orion, If you could see, what I have seen….

    • Drake

      I had no idea that he was that old.

      • rhywun

        Me neither. I have a novel of his somewhere that I never finished 🙁

  12. kinnath

    https://www.kcrg.com/2020/11/30/iowa-board-to-certify-6-vote-miller-meeks-win-in-us-house-race/

    Iowa Secretary of State Paul Pate announced that the state canvassing board had certified the result in Iowa’s second Congressional district race between Republican Marionette Miller-Meeks and Democrat Rita Hart. Miller-Meeks finished with 196,964 votes to Hart’s 196,958, a difference of only six votes. After the first count of votes in the state, Miller-Meeks held a 47-vote lead that was reduced by 41 during a full district recount.

    • straffinrun

      Oscar Schindler: If I had only sold this ring, I could’ve bought six more Democratic votes.

      • Urthona

        Haha

  13. Yusef drives a Kia

    All these things lost, forever, like tears, in Rain….

  14. straffinrun

    I like this song. You don’t really need the translation to get the point. They love their Dads and miss them. Toxic Masculinity!

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uAXibMc74oY

    • Jarflax

      So toxic it is blocked in the US

      • straffinrun

        Huh. Copy and paste this on another platform.

        フラワーカンパニーズ 『深夜高速

      • MikeS

        ストライク2

      • Jarflax

        That is also blocked but the copypasta offers this which works

      • straffinrun

        And that is blocked on “my country”. Heh.

      • MikeS

        それらのろくでなし!

      • MikeS

        Huh, twice now when I copy/pasta translations of witty rejoinders, they get eaten by the squirrels.

      • MikeS

        Yes, I said 機知に富んだ再結合

      • MikeS

        Make that thrice

      • rhywun

        I need a translation.

        It’s weird listening to music where I literally do not understand a single word.

      • straffinrun

        The chorus is “I’m glad you were alive”. The video YT won’t show you has young guys holding the “funeral” pics of their fathers spliced between home videos of Dad pushing the kid on a swing, teaching him how to ride a bike etc. Nice video.

      • rhywun

        Ah, OK.

        Yeah, I don’t get any of that from this version. It’s all Greek to me.

      • straffinrun

        Wish I could share the original. The video literally brought a tear to my eye when I saw it today for the first time.

      • But Enough About My Pulsating, Geriatric Pecs

        Also blocked.

    • MikeS

      Nice link, Nip.

      • straffinrun

        Not my fault you live in a police state.

      • MikeS

        *sensible chuckle*

  15. Mojeaux

    “Pass interference, defense.”

    Dafuq. Pass interference is the whole point of the game.

    • rhywun

      Go Iggles.

      I see one of the Thanksgiving games has been postponed again. I still doubt the season will conclude.

      • hayeksplosives

        Yeah, I was looking forward to the Steelers:Ravens Tuesday night, and now it’s Wednesday at 12:30 pm while I’m at work!!

        Grrr.

        All for the slightly less than common cold.

      • rhywun

        And the 49ers can’t play in California next week because California.

        LOL go Bills

      • Hyperion

        Toothlessburger is looking unstoppable. I mean if he doesn’t wreck his bike again, which is how he became Toothlessburger in the first place.

    • But Enough About My Pulsating, Geriatric Pecs

      “Video unavailable.”

      • straffinrun

        Yeah, I give up.

      • Count Potato

        psstt…VPN

  16. one true athena

    I wanna thank whoever it was who make Thanksgiving leftover empanadas. I did that tonight, and though I should’ve done gravy dippers for them, the empanadas themselves came out nicely. It was even pretty easy to do, which is always a plus.

    • straffinrun

      It’s all a complete clusterfuck. They put kids in indoctrination centers for twelve years and fill their heads with propaganda and then warp the market with govt guaranteed loans. To make it even more fucked, they bailout the big banks to the tune of trillions and the kids saw that. The Gordian knot is not going to be untangled.

    • Hyperion

      Party looks to build policy around the interests of its “educated elite voters

      So yet another way to say useful idiots?

  17. Count Potato

    “A senior commander in Iran’s Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC), a designated Foreign Terrorist Organization (FTO), was killed during an airstrike over the weekend in Syria, according to local officials and reports.

    Iraqi security and local militia officials “could not confirm the identity of the commander, who they said was killed alongside three other men travelling in a vehicle with him,” Reuters reported. “The vehicle was carrying weapons across the Iraqi border and was hit after it had entered Syrian territory, two Iraqi security officials separately said.”

    “Iraqi security sources told Saudi-based al-Arabiya News that a drone killed Muslim Shahdan, a senior commander in the Islamic Revolutionary Guards Corps, in a targeted strike on his car,” The Times of Israel reported. “The reports did not say who was behind the strike, which reportedly happened early Sunday or late Saturday.””

    https://www.dailywire.com/news/another-top-iranian-revolutionary-guard-commander-terminated-in-airstrike-reports

    • Chafed

      Score another one for the IDF.

  18. Count Potato

    “The fact is, China has ruined the world in 2020 by its reckless handling of COVID-19. For this, it ought to pay very heavy reparations. It will not. Instead, the reverse is happening. China’s economy is powering ahead, and its leaders are bullying weaker Western nations. With Trump all but gone from the White House, and faltering Joe Biden preparing to move in, it now looks as though China’s quest for world domination is back on track. What a calamity.”

    https://www.newsweek.com/china-licking-its-chops-thought-president-joe-biden-opinion-1550805

    • hayeksplosives

      Nigel Farage is as entertaining as Trump.

      And he was right that the people would vote for Brexit. If he’d become PM at that point, Brexit would have happened in an afternoon with zero bowing and scraping before Brussels.

      • Hyperion

        Farage is truly the UK’s only hope. The fat blonde one is a clown, not much better than May was.

  19. Count Potato

    “Twitter just suspended this guy’s account for testifying why he would never have certified Arizona’s results with the mathematically problematic numbers in front of him.

    Does the Left think they’re just going to suppress and censor Biden’s fake presidency to life?”

    https://twitter.com/iheartmindy/status/1333589188151689216

    • Hyperion

      “Does the Left think they’re just going to suppress and censor Biden’s fake presidency to life?”

      Yes.

      • Don escaped Two Corinthians

        I’m pretty sure the Republicans of Georgia delivered the coup de grace

    • straffinrun

      That is pretty powerful stuff. You’d think media would love to show a flame job like that even if he were/is full of shit. Of course we know why they won’t show it.

      • Hyperion

        I’m not even sure what the left hope to gain when they help usher in the new utopia of the USSA. The new USSA only needs one Pravda and the non-winners of that contest are likely to be the first up against a wall. I’m not sure if they’re really that stupid or they’re just true hardcore gamblers, the type who enjoy Russian Roulette.

      • hayeksplosives

        This puzzles me also. They think if they destroy the free market, take away personal freedoms, and flagrantly break the law, they will get rid of the deplorables through conversion or destruction.

        And somehow all the socialists will then get to pursue their artistic hopes and dreams while paying for groceries with a government check.

        They don’t even wonder who will grow the groceries and why they would do it, or about where the “government money” will come from.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Electricity comes from the outlet. Food comes from the store. Morals are for the breaking. Power is the only goal.

      • creech

        Well, the countryside fed Havana, and Moscow, Peking, and Pyongyang and anywhere else where guns can overcome “live free or die.”

      • one true athena

        As far as I can tell, the party of “let’s destroy the electoral college and pack the court because nothing will ever go wrong with that plan!” can’t think more than a day in advance. It’s all Ideas Today, and zero notion of consequences about anything. Same reason we have an entire damn world full of people deciding that destroying their economy for a bad flu is somehow free of consequences, because good intentions are all that matter.

        I mean, it would seem logical that the people slurping down the 1619 Project that says bringing the slaves here forever tainted the US would be a little more aware of future unintended consequences, but they don’t appear to have any concept of it at all.

  20. straffinrun

    The same people bitching about “KIdZ iN cAGez!” have no problem sticking them in their bedroom for a marathon zoom lesson and telling them the bogey man is waiting for them outside the front door.

  21. Hyperion

    I’m actually getting a kick out of reading Twatter for once, with all the Haspel and Frankfurt raid stuff. It’s getting wilder by the moment. Are they just fucking with Jack? That would be almost as good as if any of it were true.

    • slumbrew

      I assume it’s 100% wild speculation with zero evidence to back it up, aside from “I heard from my brother’s wife’s girlfriend, whose husband knows a guy at the CIA…”.

      Entertaining, no doubt.

      • Hyperion

        “Entertaining, no doubt.”

        Well, there you have it. People obviously love sensationalism. That’s what drives clicks.

        Which is more exciting? Trump legal teams prove there were 3000 fraudulent ballots, found today in GA, more to come. Or, Gina Haspel was wounded in the Frankfurt raid and is now being held in Gitmo on treason charges?

        People like to be entertained and the left have all but destroyed entertainment, so we get this instead.

    • KSuellington

      Joe Biden has that cast on to hide the ankle bracelet that they have on him. He will be conceding the election in a few days and has agreed to testify in exchange for a pardon by Trump. Haspel is not dead, but being held in Gitmo with a number of other Deep State operatives who will be tried for treason.

      Yeah, this is some good ass shit.

      • Hyperion

        If any of it were true it would be fantastical. But at least you can laugh about it, so there’s that.

      • KSuellington

        Ha! Nice one there. I’m sure we could continue on with this silly line of make believe for some Exquisite Corpse style story of high treason, intelligence hijinx, sweet revenge and general awesomeness. Can Gavin Newsom get a bit part, maybe as a group of other high ranking Democratas that get sent to Federal prison for decades? And my wife gets so excited by all this that she recruits a couple twenty five year old fitness models to help make sure I’m taken care of sexually at all times.

      • slumbrew

        And my wife gets so excited by all this that she recruits a couple twenty five year old fitness models to help make sure I’m taken care of sexually at all times.

        One can hope.

      • Plinker762

        I thought it was supposed to be a collar

    • Gustave Lytton

      And Obama arrested. Good lord. How will they top that one?

      • Hyperion

        Because Hillary was arrested too. The way they’re going, I’m pretty sure they can top all of it.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Cue Ron Paul happening gif.

    • KSuellington

      It’s of course partly the lack of entertainment that is causing these wild stories, but also the fact that the media has been busy covering up, gaslighting, ignoring obvious stories, and actively becoming obviously partisan that causes people to believe anything is possible.

      • hayeksplosives

        I don’t buy this particular one yet. However, the CIA has been known to try and pull off some crazy crap before.

        I used to have to suspend my disbelief when watching fiction wherein there were vast networks of powermingers in government working in the shadows and pulling all the strings.

        Lately the plots of Burn Notice, The Blacklist, Mission Impossible—-anything where traitors permeate the “good government” whether for ideology, money, or revenge, and secretly control all—have sounded much more plausible.

        Epstein’s suicide really was a turning point.

      • R C Dean

        Epstein’s what?

      • Gender Traitor

        Vince Foster says “Hi!”

  22. hayeksplosives

    Things fall apart; the center cannot hold;
    Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
    The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
    The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
    The best lack all conviction, while the worst
    Are full of passionate intensity.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Dr. Rachel Levine could use that app to track its mother but, luckily enough, she was pulled out of her care facility to avoid the obvious implications of the good health secretaries’ policies. Why that person remains in any position of authority is beyond me.

    • Trigger Hippie

      We’re raising a generation of rat fink snitches.

  23. Tres Cool

    We got our 1st snow, and SW Ohio is collectively shitting its panties over perhaps an whopping inch.

    Mornin’ ya’all

    • Gender Traitor

      Well, of course! Who’s sponsoring Your First Warning Weather these days? Kroger or Meijer?

      Mornin’, homey.

      • Tres Cool

        Bundle up when you go out, doll. Its finally kinda cold here.

      • Gender Traitor

        Will do, and I should definitely leave early – crashes all over per WHIO. Four on highways, four on surface streets at last check.

      • Tres Cool

        Sgt. Mark Bowron has been coughing all over like he has the ‘vid.

      • Gender Traitor

        I’ll put a mask over the radio speaker.

      • Tres Cool

        Id like the record to reflect that the spokes-chic for Drake Heating checks nearly all my boxes.
        That is all.

      • Gender Traitor

        This one? Yeah, she’s cute. Maybe she’ll gain weight during the holidays.

      • UnCivilServant

        Fun.

        It’s 54 with a chance of rain here.

      • Gender Traitor

        The one upside to this snow is that it puts me in a little bit more of a mood to start getting ready for Christmas with my two sisters & BIL. Slightly. I’ve ordered exactly one gift so far. I hope maybe I can find some decent gift books at the local used bookstore this weekend.

      • Tres Cool

        Have you considered journals/notebooks made from recycled textbooks? Makes for a quirky, useful, gift.

        https://bookjournals.com/

      • UnCivilServant

        I’ve gotten to a point where there is no mutual obligation for an annual gift between me and any other person.

        It the only gifts given are those where the giver honestly thinks it will be appreciated.

        I find it much less stressful than having to abide by an arbitrary deadline and giving subpar presents because it was all I could find.

      • Gender Traitor

        Perhaps I should make more of an effort to convince my married sister & her hubby to scale things back, but they seem to genuinely enjoy the ritual. They even bring stuffed stockings. My single sister certainly can’t afford it.

      • Gender Traitor

        Tres, I notice there are a lot of Harry Potter covers among those journal samples. Is this the sure sign that Rowling’s been canceled? (Disclaimer – I’ve seen the movies but have only read one of the books, and I’m not sure I even finished that one.)

      • Tres Cool

        Perhaps just a supply surplus because that demographic got tired of reading ?

    • The Hyperbole

      We got about 3 inches, I’ll probably pass about four cars in the ditches on my way to work. Happens every year when we get our first snow, new drivers or people forget how to drive in the snow.

      • The Hyperbole

        And now my helper is late, and he may be the last person in America with out a cell phone so I can’t call and see if he’s in a ditch somewhere.

      • Sean

        I had someone try to call out this morning. I sent his supervisor to go pick his ass up for work.

        They’re on the way back right now.

  24. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Marina Abromivic, the Spirit Cooking lady we all know and love, gives her instructions for talking to a tree in order to heal from 2020:

    https://www.theartnewspaper.com/video/marina-abramovic-tree

    She’s repulsive and moronic but I do have to admit that love a good charlatan, she’s been making a mint off of pushing freshman level quasi artistic bullshit for fifty years.

    • Gender Traitor

      Marina Abramovic advises public to complain to a tree

      Probably do as much or more good than complaining to your elected officials.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Verbalizing what’s bothering you even to a mirror is helpful to degree but she fell ass backwards into any truths contained within that nonsense.

    • Tres Cool

      “but I do have to admit that love a good charlatan”

      ‘ho gotta get payed

    • Tres Cool

      Convert them to micro-tants ?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        For god’s sake Tres, it’s too early for metric system jokes.

      • Tres Cool

        I blame Canada.

      • rhywun

        They’re not even a real country anyway.

  25. Tres Cool

    I stand corrected. Seems we got 2½ ” of snow.

  26. Trigger Hippie

    Good morning, all.

    Did a little back reading of the site, Sorry to see Digby go…

    Dammit, this place is thinning out, dying slowly but surely….all you lurkers need to step up to the plate and comment. We don’t bite unless you request it.

    Have a quality day, everyone.

    • Sean

      Mornin’

  27. l0b0t

    Morning everyone. To cap off what is far and away the worst year of my life, today is my 49th trip around the Sun so my usual ennui is giving way to self-loathing and disappointment. Hurray!

    • Trigger Hippie

      Er,….have a Shitty Birthday! Enjoy! ;p

      • l0b0t

        Thanks.

    • Sean

      Happy birthday!

      ?????