The Hat and The Hair: Episode 178

by | Dec 9, 2020 | Hat and Hair, SugarFree | 189 comments

“Look what they did to my boy,” Donald wailed. “Look what they did to my Rudy!” Donald used a sponge stapled to a broomhandle to wipe away the brown goo running down Rudy’s face.

“I really think he should be in a hospital, Donald,” the hair said, clinging to the back of his jacket collar, peering over his shoulder.

“Nonsense,” Donald shot back. “He needs to be with his family at a time like this.”

“Family?” the hair asked.

“When you run a train on hooker together, you become brothers forever,” Donald whispered hoarsely.

“No gods, no masters,” the hat said proudly. “The only holy thing is sloppy seconds.”

The hair turned, waggled back and forth for a second, and then jumped to a nearby table, landing with a quiet gobble of disgust.

“Will he make it?” Donald asked the hat. “I made it. I shook off the China Virus an easy dozen times.”

Rudy coughed weakly into the CPAP mask engulfing his face, his stacked neck wattles shaking queasily.

“I don’t know, Donald,” the hat said. “He eats so little McDonald’s compared to you he may not have the level of toxins in his blood to fight off the virus like you did.”

“The China Virus, you mean.”

“Yes, the China Virus.”

“Not the Trump Virus.”

“Never the Trump Virus, Donald,” the hat assured him. The hair snorted from his table.

“You said all this would be over if I lost the election,” Donald said to the hat. “You said COVIDs would go away.”

“There’s still the Georgia senatorial race,” the hat replied. “The vaccine was announced five days after the election, after all. That proves they were all in it together to hoax you out of the Presidency. And now they are trying to kill your election lawyer with it.”

“Give him every vaccine, all the vaccines,” Donald said. “I’ve never paid for sex; I need Rudy to live.”

“You’ve never paid for sex?” the hair asked incredulously.

“I always gave Rudy the money first,” Donald said sadly, mopping away more of the brown goo pouring from Rudy’s infected scalp.

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

189 Comments

  1. DEG

    “I don’t know, Donald,” the hat said. “He eats so little McDonald’s compared to you he may not have the level of toxins in his blood to fight off the virus like you did.”

    That sounds more legitimate than anything Fauci has spouted off.

    • KOVIDKristen

      LOL

  2. juris imprudent

    I always gave Rudy the money first

    Absolution!

    • Bobarian LMD

      Does this make Rudy his FuckBoi-by-Proxy?

      • CPRM
      • EvilSheldon

        That would be if Rudy fucks the hooker, while Donald fucks Rudy. Rudy gets to be the living condom.

  3. The Late P Brooks

    Rudy is filled with goo. An inexhaustible supply.

    • Tonio

      Eeeewww!

    • Idle Hands

      He’s filled with something. Alien autopsy might be something pretty sure he’s one of those federation aliens that Israeli was going on about.

  4. CPRM

    If cartoon Network had any balls this would be smash hit!

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      I dunno, it might go the route of that one sitcom about Bush the Younger.

    • juris imprudent

      The old Adult Swim more likely, but I imagine the current management is all too SJW.

  5. Tonio

    “a sponge stapled to a broomhandle”

    Ah, the Roman equivalent of toilet paper. And yes, the same sponge was used by all customers of the toilet.

    • CPRM

      Are you thaying Donald is a Loofa?!

      • Not Adahn

        *applause*

  6. The Late P Brooks

    Frustration, thy name is Foochy

    As Christmas nears, the U.S. has yet to see the worst from the coronavirus outbreaks driven by people traveling and congregating for Thanksgiving, White House coronavirus advisor Dr. Anthony Fauci said on Tuesday.

    “That should be sometime probably next week or a week and a half,” Fauci told The Wall Street Journal’s CEO Council summit in regard to when the United States could expect “the full brunt” from the virus coming off the Thanksgiving holiday season.

    “And then we’re going to enter into the Christmas season, again with more traveling and with more congregating at family and social gatherings. So we’re in for a very challenging period,” Fauci said.

    ——-

    On Tuesday, Fauci said that he will push for a more uniform national public health approach to help thwart outbreaks when he meets with President-elect Joe Biden’s team. Those methods include widespread use of face masks, social distancing, frequent hand washing and avoiding gatherings, especially indoors, he said.

    However, the U.S. hasn’t adhered to those measures uniformly, which is “really extraordinarily frustrating,” Fauci, who will join Biden’s team as an advisor once the president-elect is sworn in, said.

    “Trouble is, you go to different parts of the country and even when the outbreak is clear and hospitals are on the verge of being overrun, there are a substantial proportion of the people who still think that this is not real. That it’s fake news or that it’s a hoax,” Fauci said Tuesday.

    “It’s extraordinary,” he said. “I’ve never really seen anything like this.”

    Poor Chicken Little. Why won’t the lesser mortals listen to him? Why won’t they OBEY?

    • Urthona

      It actually looks like we peaked about when the previous peaks projected and are about to head back down again.

      • Not Adahn

        Everybody knows it takes three and a half weeks from the time of exposure to when you get reported. It’s SCIENCE!

      • juris imprudent

        Or in the case of Sturgis, 3 months.

    • SugarFree

      We just keep letting Fauci down. New American Man is supposed to be self-squeezing orange.

    • The Other Kevin

      Once again, I still haven’t heard which countries or leaders “did it right”. Seems like everyone is seeing the same results no matter what they did.

      • The Other Kevin

        “China’s zero contact: ‘It seems extreme. It works’”

        I have no doubt it does. As long as you keep doing it forever.

      • rhywun

        No prob!

        /CCP

      • juris imprudent

        Taiwan did, but we can’t talk about them – because of the CCP.

      • Bobarian LMD

        China only had 4600 deaths so doing it right just means lying and welding people shut into buildings.

      • Nephilium

        They’re Schroedinger’s COVID fatalities. You can’t count them as dead until you cut them out of the buildings and see if they’re dead.

      • Hyperion

        It’s easier to govern in China. If only we cold disappear people, utopia would appear here as well.

    • Idle Hands

      I really really hope I never see that fucktard in public and it’s a real possibility given my proximity to dc.

      • The Other Kevin

        Don’t worry, I don’t think you’ll get very close to him. He’ll be surrounded by armed body guards just like the rest of our betters.

    • wdalasio

      This guy is almost the perfect little political hack. Just check out the language: Trouble is, you go to different parts of the country and even when the outbreak is clear and hospitals are on the verge of being overrun, there are a substantial proportion of the people who still think that this is not real.

      The little weasel knows his audience. I’ll give him that much. “It’s not us. It’s those other people!”. He knows perfectly well that his audience violates the rules he promulgates every day (as he does). But he comforts them because they care, they’re different.

      At this point, I truly hate these people. They get to be utterly wrong. They get to violate their own diktats. And nothing.

      • Idle Hands

        he’s the absolute worse piece slimy bureaucratic shit in this fucking town of weak ugly pussies. Motherfucker says something different based on the last person he talked to. He basically tried to get all of sports cancelled and than when baseball resumed he went and throughout the first pitch and was the only person allowed to attend the game he told everyone else they couldn’t attend. I fucking hate that preening wop with the fire of thousand sons.

      • Chipwooder

        And at that game he made a big show of wearing his face diaper throwing out the first pitch, when he was all by his lonesome outdoors on the mound…..and then when he was in the stands and no one was watching, he pulled the thing down, and then mumbled a transparently horseshit excuse that it was just to drink water, despite there being no water bottle in his hands when the picture was taken.

    • Rebel Scum

      from the coronavirus outbreaks

      Which coronavirus? There are several.

      avoiding gatherings, especially indoors, he said.

      Avoid being indoors…in the winter…and I never got this suggestion anyway. Indoor air is not typically moving like outdoor air is. I am inclined to think that if I cough/sneeze and there is a breeze my evil corona-pathogen droplets will travel further.

      and hospitals are on the verge of being overrun

      He stated without evidence.

      there are a substantial proportion of the people who still think that this is not real.

      It is real, it just ain’t exactly the bubonic plague.

      • Ownbestenemy

        That last part is what they hone in on. If we think its bad and take normal precautions BUT don’t think its death coming, then we must think it a hoax.

        One of my teens made the comment “I really don’t care about the mask but I know that I am at more risk walking around the neighborhood getting hit by a car”

      • Akira

        If we think its bad and take normal precautions BUT don’t think its death coming, then we must think it a hoax.

        This is what the Establishment does – they pigeonhole everyone into one of two positions, and they make sure that the other position is the stupidest, craziest one possible.

        You either think COVID is the bubonic plague, or you think it doesn’t exist at all.

        You either think Pizzagate was a complete fabrication by right-wing blogs, or you think it’s an international pedophile ring.

        You either think every single vaccine is 100% safe, or you’re a hippie lunatic who will sit by while your child dies of measles.

      • Urthona

        yeah. hospitals are NOT on the verge of being overrun. This is an outright lie that’s been debunked by several sources.

      • Not Adahn

        It’s true, for a certain definition of “verge.” I’m sure dictionary.com can hook us up.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Verge – n.

        A varying degree of distance as set by approved media sources based on the need to force the public to comply with their demands.

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        And you only need to find 2 hospitals in the whole US that are on the verge in order to make the statement correct.

      • R C Dean

        The biggest staffing shortage on the nursing side is nurses taking phat agency and travellers contracts. Rates for ICU nurses on those contracts are up 50%. Its a self-licking ice cream cone – they resign, create a shortage that we need agency/travellers to fill, and cash in on their new contracts.

        We currently are debating whether to put flag those nurses as “Do Not Hire” if they re-apply.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Rates for ICU nurses on those contracts are up 50%. Its a self-licking ice cream cone – they resign, create a shortage that we need agency/travellers to fill, and cash in on their new contracts.

        I can’t tell you that I wouldn’t do the same exact thing if offered. Resign and get a 50% pay raise to work on contract doing the same exact job? Heck yes!

      • R C Dean

        I totally get it. The downside is that you don’t have a steady job, although during the Current Unpleasantness an ICU-qualified nurse can get all the work she wants.

        My vote is for “Do Not Hire”, though. We need nurses we can count on showing up.

      • Idle Hands

        so the whole shortage crisis is a made up paper shuffle? Sounds par for the course.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Any thought of trying to stem the tide by offering a retention bonus that gets them closer to what they could make on contract?

        You can always couch it as a “covid appreciation” bonus or whatever, but I highly doubt it’d have to get to 50% to begin impacting retention. (and it rewards those who have stuck around)

      • R C Dean

        so the whole shortage crisis is a made up paper shuffle?

        Not necessarily. Hospital nursing is a team sport, and is pretty specific to each hospital. Agency/travellers take weeks, at best, to integrate. There are very definite losses in efficiency and quality. Its not like a nurse quits on one day, and is back in the same unit with a contract the next day.

        Of course, part of the paper shuffle is an increase in our costs of tens or hundreds of thousands a month. For inferior results.

        We’ve looked at a retention bonus, but haven’t done it yet. The lull after July made us think it wouldn’t be needed. We got back to full staffing by September.

      • kinnath

        I have a friend that is an agency nurse.

        He has repeatedly turned down full-time, permanent job offers.

        He can’t afford to take the pay cut.

    • EvilSheldon

      Would it be terribly racist to start spelling his name Fu-Chi?

      Yes?

      Fuck it, Ima do it anyway…

      • Rebel Scum

        I prefer Fauxchi.

    • R C Dean

      the U.S. has yet to see the worst from the coronavirus outbreaks driven by people traveling and congregating for Thanksgiving, White House coronavirus advisor Dr. Anthony Fauci

      Err, bullshit. The ‘Vid either shows up, or it doesn’t, within 14 days after exposure, and generally in a week or so. Thanksgiving weekend ended 11 days ago. We’ve pretty much seen what we are going to see from Thanksgining travel and gatherings.

  7. Swiss Servator

    “No gods, no masters,” the hat said proudly.

    The Hat is a Wobblie?!

    • Nephilium

      More likely it’s just a couple of Nac Mac Feegles running an elaborate joke.

      Nae king! Nae quin! Nae laird! Nae master! We willnae be fooled again!

  8. Bobarian LMD

    When you run a train on hooker together, you become brothers forever

    Point of order, according to authority, this means that Donald has at least 5 more brothers.

    Who else, besides Bannon and Sessions, was there, and who batted clean-up?

    • SugarFree

      Sessions always goes last by request.

      • kinnath

        A perfect fifth?

      • SugarFree

        The perfect filth. He eats the flies buzzing around and implants his own eggs in the bruised and torn meat.

      • juris imprudent

        You know, I should be appalled at the imagery conveyed there, but given it is granny fuckwad we’re talking about, it just sounds about right.

  9. Rebel Scum

    “The only holy thing is sloppy seconds.”

    You say holy. I say cavernous.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Once again, I still haven’t heard which countries or leaders “did it right”. Seems like everyone is seeing the same results no matter what they did.

    New Zealand and Australia. We can all learn a valuable lesson from them. Martial law is a small price to pay for society’s weakest members’ peace of mind.

    • wdalasio

      It would be funny, if it weren’t so pathetic. Because about a week after I heard lockdown advocates touting Australia as having “conquered the virus” with their lockdowns, they go into lockdown again. And not a word from the COVID doomers.

      • The Other Kevin

        Just like every other part of the world, as soon as you let up the virus starts to spread again. It’s almost like it’s designed to do that.

      • wdalasio

        I don’t know what it is they think? Do they really think it’s like the virus just decides nobody’s home and goes away? This is crap a whole lot of people predicted when the virus was just starting. And I’m just some schlub with no expertise looking at the numbers in passing. You don’t beat viruses. You endure them.

      • juris imprudent

        [knocking at door]
        Who’s there?
        Flowers.

      • Chipwooder

        Cannnnnnnnndygram

    • Urthona

      It’s summer there.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      Island countries like NZ, Australia, Japan, Taiwan and South Korea, which might as well be an island since its only border is shut tighter than a nun’s cunte.

      • Akira

        its only border is shut tighter than a nun’s cunte.

        Other countries have borders?! Whaaaaa??

        I thought borders and subsequent border patrolling was some uniquely racist and horrible thing that only the USA does.

      • robc

        You left off the UK.

    • juris imprudent

      You fool! Cuomo did it right, and wrote a book about it! The media were delirious in their praise of him. Don’t you dare question that narrative, peasant.

      • Not Adahn

        He did such a great job, he got an Emmy. Dod you get an Emmy for fighting a plague? Didn’t think so.

  11. Rebel Scum

    I’m sure this is fine.

    China has dispatched fighter aircraft and troops to a Pakistani airbase close to the Gujarat border to take part in the latest edition of a bilateral military exercise, the Chinese military announced on Monday evening, adding that the air force drill was aimed at improving “actual combat training” of the two forces.

    “The Chinese air force’s troops set off on December 7 for the Pakistani Air Force’s air base in Bholari at Thatta District in Sindh, northeast of Pakistan’s Karachi to participate in the China-Pakistan Joint Air Force Exercise Shaheen (Eagle) – IX,” a statement put out by the People’s Liberation Army (PLA) said.

    The latest edition of the drill will take place in the backdrop of the ongoing India-China border friction along the Line of Actual Control (LAC) in eastern Ladakh.

    The brief Chinese statement on Shaheen-IX did not give details of the deployment of PLA Air Force (PLAAF) for the exercise with Pakistan, but said it will conclude in late December.

    “The joint air force exercise, which will conclude in late December, is a project within the 2020 cooperation plan of the two militaries,” it said.

    • creech

      Probably a little pants shitting in New Delhi. I wonder how the Indians feel now that the new U.S. president probably doesn’t have their back?

    • juris imprudent

      The Pakis are such dogs. Their fellow Muslims are being driven into the ground, and they allow the Chinese access to threaten India? The deserve to still be ruled by the Brits.

      • R C Dean

        Enemy of my enemy. Probably the only help the Pakis would turn down would be from Israel.

      • beer league keeper

        Yeah, not sure why the surprise on this one. China and Pakistan have had a cozy relationship since ’72, and this is the 9th time this particular joint exercise with China has been conducted.

      • juris imprudent

        I only take particular note of it now in light of the Uighur situation.

  12. Idle Hands

    honestly these are the best pieces of trump satire going. You run laps around every writer on comedy central or network tv.

    • wdalasio

      Because it isn’t based on the notion of Trump as some exceptional evil. It’s kind of hard to satirize Hitler.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        This. Trump as bumbling idiot being puppeteered by his toupee and baseball cap is much more believable than Trump as evil genius.

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        Exactly. There’s plenty to mock, but SugarFree does it out of humor not hate.

      • kinnath

        Charlie Chaplin says “hello”.

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        Good point. Jojo Rabbit and Er Ist Wieder Da do a pretty good job of mocking Hitler too.

      • Nephilium

        Mel Brooks says, “Hello!”

      • l0b0t

        Although he gets a kick in the tuchus for advocating the feeding of Leviathan (“Taxes to beat the Axis“). https://youtu.be/XNMrMFuk-bo

      • Swiss Servator

        Not that you could hear him say it…

      • kinnath

        Intertitles for the win!

    • SugarFree

      Comedy Central still exists?

      But, thank you for your kind words.

  13. Old Man With Candy

    more of the brown goo pouring from Rudy’s infected scalp

    I thought McDonalds caused pink goo? Maybe that’s the fix here?

    • Idle Hands

      what do you think they are slathering on their mcrib.

  14. Idle Hands

    Rudy getting the virus is proof positive he’s a member of the war of the worlds martian class.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    ERROR! ERROR! ANALYZE! ANALYYYYZZE!

    Fourteen organizations designated as hate groups by the Southern Poverty Law Center or the Anti-Defamation League have received funding from the Paycheck Protection Program totaling $4.3 million, according to data released last week by the Small Business Administration, revealing who benefited from the pandemic federal relief funds.

    ——-

    The analysis by NBC News, one of 11 newsrooms that sued for the release of data, was based on hate groups designated by the Southern Poverty Law Center or the Anti-Defamation League, that received PPP money and primarily focus on advocating against immigrants and opposing the advancement of homosexual and transgender rights. NBC News crosschecked the PPP data against 73 different designated hate groups whose work and advocacy focuses on attacking, maligning and delegitimizing entire classes of people based on their ethnicity, religion, gender, sexual orientation or if they have a disability.

    The same list of hate groups was used in an assessment earlier this year for research conducted by the Institute for Strategic Dialogue, an anti-extremism think tank, and the Global Disinformation Index, a nonprofit research group, that analyzed how hate groups fundraise and collect payments online, which was exclusively reported by NBC News. All the groups assessed were also active as of 2020 and are actively promoting hateful ideologies, whether through literature, online content or grassroots organizing. In total, the 14 accused hate groups that received relief funds analyzed by NBC News were awarded a total of $4.3 million in PPP loans. Overall more than 5.2 million PPP loans worth more than $525 billion were approved, according to the SBA.

    Maybe if we weren’t robbing Peter to subsidize Paul, they wouldn’t have to get their panties all twisted in knots when the wrong Paul gets his nose in the trough.

    • Creosote Achilles

      Do they list the groups? I got a dollar bill that says none of them are actual hate groups. Just badwrongthinkers.

      • DEG

        There’s a chart in the article.

        American College of Pediatricians is listed in the chart.

      • Rebel Scum

        They all sound innocuous.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        I would not be at all surprised to see Knights of Columbus on there.

    • CPRM

      Wait, did Non-profits get PPP loans? Now it all makes sense…

      • Nephilium

        The Ohio state Democratic party got a PPP loan…

      • R C Dean

        Nonprofits have payrolls, too.

      • Idle Hands

        I think you mean they have loot.

      • R C Dean

        No, employees, who cash paychecks. Sometimes for doing useful work, even.

      • Idle Hands

        I mean all it is is a tax code designation. But talk to someone who works for a non profit where I am and they act like they are doing their job for charity or something.

      • juris imprudent

        A pretty significant majority of hospitals in this country are non-profits.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Institute for Strategic Dialogue, an anti-extremism think tank, and the Global Disinformation Index, a nonprofit research group

      Good work if you can get it.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      As far as I can tell, that entire list is just non-DNC-approved advocacy organizations.

    • Idle Hands

      90% of these places are all funded in full by federal and state gov contracts and grants that were totally unaffected by any of this.

      • Idle Hands

        Meanwhile every single one of their employees was feigning the flames to shut it down and crush honest business’s. These people are disgusting and are the enemy.

    • Gustave Lytton

      whose work and advocacy focuses on attacking, maligning and delegitimizing entire classes of people

      But enough about SPLC and ADL.

    • Bobarian LMD

      Speaking of hategroups, how much did the SPLC collect?

  16. Tundra

    “I don’t know, Donald,” the hat said. “He eats so little McDonald’s compared to you he may not have the level of toxins in his blood to fight off the virus like you did.”

    IFLS

    • Swiss Servator

      I Fucking Love Sausage (McMuffins)?

      • kinnath

        That used to be my go-to breakfast sandwich. I now prefer the sausage croissant from Burger King (which is pretty much the only thing I will get from Burger King).

  17. Rebel Scum

    YouTube is asshoe.

    In the blog post, YouTube writes:

    Yesterday was the safe harbor deadline for the U.S. Presidential election and enough states have certified their election results to determine a President-elect. Given that, we will start removing any piece of content uploaded today (or anytime after) that misleads people by alleging that widespread fraud or errors changed the outcome of the 2020 U.S. Presidential election, in line with our approach towards historical U.S. Presidential elections. For example, we will remove videos claiming that a Presidential candidate won the election due to widespread software glitches or counting errors. We will begin enforcing this policy today, and will ramp up in the weeks to come. As always, news coverage and commentary on these issues can remain on our site if there’s sufficient education, documentary, scientific or artistic context.

    I will be deleting my YouTube account and divesting from Google in any and all capacities that I can.

    • CPRM

      So they are going to delete every youtube video about Rushun Collision? *HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH* Nope.

      • R C Dean

        in line with our approach towards historical U.S. Presidential elections

        That’s a lotta videos to take down for the 2016 election.

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        That explains why I can’t find contemporary videos from the Cleveland vs Harrison election of 1888.

      • Chipwooder

        They also don’t delete any of the many Troother videos either.

    • Gustave Lytton

      we will start removing any piece of content uploaded today (or anytime after) that misleads people by alleging that widespread fraud or errors changed the outcome of the 2020 U.S. Presidential election, in line with our approach towards historical U.S. Presidential elections

      Compromise of 1877 videos hit hardest.

    • Akira

      I will be deleting my YouTube account and divesting from Google in any and all capacities that I can.

      I really want to do that too… Is there any kind of non-Google and non-Apple smartphone on the market?

      • R C Dean

        There’s this.

        No idea how good it is.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Nice Orwellian logic. Obviously a state certifying an election does not disprove fraud that may have occurred in that election.

      • Ted S.

        Yeah, Bealrus certified the results of their most recent presidential election back in August.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    Do they list the groups?

    Some of them, anyway. And yes, “Disagree with SPLC” = “Hate group”

    • The Other Kevin

      It’s good work if you can get it. Somehow get yourself designated as the authority of what’s a “hate group”, throw that label on every group on one side of the political spectrum, and get people from the other side to throw money at you. If anyone questions you, call them a hate group.

    • Not Adahn

      Well of course. SPLC fights hate groups. Only a hate group supporter could disagree with them.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    yeah. hospitals are NOT on the verge of being overrun. This is an outright lie that’s been debunked by several sources.

    Look, Denier- just as that one dead thirteen year old completely refutes the lie that young people are less at risk than old people, that one hospital in Texas treating half of northern Mexico proves we are completely out of treatment options!

    SCIENCE!

  20. Scruffy Nerfherder

    “No gods, no masters,” the hat said proudly. “The only holy thing is sloppy seconds.”

    I retched.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    The findings of the NBC News analysis troubled some experts who track the work of these specific hate groups.

    “When it comes to the speed at which the PPP money had to be approved –– because people’s livelihoods were on the line –– it was expected that some would exploit the system,” said Joan Donovan, the research director of the Shorenstein Center on Media, Politics and Public Policy at Harvard University, who studies how hate groups operate online. “Considering some of these were known hate groups, there should be a review at the government level to ensure that these monies were spent in the right ways and not to further any hateful activities these groups may be engaging in.”

    Words cannot adequately express my visceral loathing for these people.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      the Shorenstein Center on Media, Politics and Public Policy at Harvard University

      Sounds like a good place to start investigating. Put up or shut up, you overimportant busybody.

      • juris imprudent

        HARVARD! How DARE you question anything about HARVARD – it is the training ground of the high priests of this culture. Phillistine! State university graduate!

    • R C Dean

      Considering some of these were known hate groups, there should be a review at the government level to ensure that these monies were spent in the right ways and not to further any hateful activities these groups may be engaging in.

      The legal and Constitutional basis for such review is, of course, left as an exercise for the reader.

  22. Nephilium

    To watch how bad ideas cause issues, the Browns game next week got shifted from the 13:00 Eastern start to the Sunday Night Football game… which starts at 20:20. Ohio is still under a 22:00 curfew, so now instead of going to the bar to watch a game, people will stay home.

    • Ted S.

      The Cleveland Browns are a bad idea? :-p

  23. Endless Mike

    “a quiet gobble of disgust”

    Poetry.

    • Swiss Servator

      Good name for a novel.

  24. juris imprudent

    How did Cuomo let this happen in his [smirk] state?

    Shortly before school began in September, administrators in Schenectady, New York, laid off more than 400 teachers, aides and other employees — roughly one out of every five school workers.

    • The Other Kevin

      I still can’t believe that guy had the balls to write a book about how well he did handling something that’s not even close to being over. It would be like writing a book in 1942 describing how the US won WWII.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        …if you were the commander of Pearl Harbor.

  25. kinnath

    Iowa surges past 3,000 deaths with a population of 3.155 million people. Oh, the humanity!

    • Tundra

      Better shut down.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      My brother says that in his county in NW Iowa about 10% of the people have tested positive. I don’t know how many deaths, but his wife has pre-existing conditions so they need to be careful.

      • kinnath

        I don’t remember the exact numbers, but I believe the vast majority of deaths have been in long term care facilities.

      • Tundra

        At one point it was 80+ percent here.

      • juris imprudent

        I think it has run around 75% world wide.

  26. R C Dean

    As predicted, the Dems are doing battlespace prep for getting rid of the filibuster if they win the runoffs in Georgia. TW: NYT.

    Senator Tom Udall urged his colleagues on Tuesday to kill the legislative filibuster that he said had helped turn the Senate into a “graveyard for progress,”

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      I thought the purpose of the Senate was to be a graveyard for “progress”.

    • kinnath

      I can drink myself into oblivion in my senior years, but my kids and grandkids are fucked.

    • EvilSheldon

      They didn’t learn their lesson the first time?

      • The Other Kevin

        This time is different. This time they’re going to keep their majorities and the presidency forever.

    • Rebel Scum

      “The Senate is broken,” he repeated for emphasis.

      Yes, but not how you mean.

      Mr. Udall emphasized this dysfunctional state of affairs on the floor, calling on senators to gut the legislative filibuster — which effectively requires a 60-vote supermajority to advance any major legislation — and change a culture he said valued partisanship over the country’s best interests.

      Has Team Blue already forgotten how this backfired with judicial appointments?

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Team Blue hadn’t perfected their manipulation of the federal election process back then. I don’t see anything backlash possible to their applying the VA model to the entire country.

      • Not Adahn

        Because nothing says “valuing bipartisanship” like “51% rules all”

      • kinnath

        50% plus 1.

    • Chipwooder

      “It’s a real waste of talent,” Mr. Alexander said.

      If you motherfuckers had any actual talent, you wouldn’t be congressional parasites.

    • Ted S.

      The Senate should keep the filibuster, with the caveat that it has to stop all Senate business, AND include one or more senators bloviating in the chamber around the clock.

    • Hyperion

      “And the government watchdog group Common Cause ranked the current Congress the “least productive in history,” noting that only about 1 percent of bills introduced became law.”

      I’m failing to see the problem here. Only if it gets to zero percent can we improve on that.

      • Urthona

        “least destructive”

        poor choice of words

  27. juris imprudent

    His honor is going to keep them counting until they come back with the result he wants.

    Sure, let’s let the courts decide, what could possibly go wrong with that?

    The last undecided House race in the U.S. took a new twist Tuesday morning, as State Supreme Court Judge Scott DelConte ordered election officials in the eight-county 22nd District of New York to recount some of the 60,000 absentee ballots.

    • Not Adahn

      Corona is on his side.

      A letter to the court revealed that an employee of the Oneida County Board of Elections tested positive for coronavirus and that all employees might be exposed.

      This would no doubt stretch out the time before a final count of the race could be completed and a winner certified.

      • CatchTheCarp

        In issuing his ruling, for example, Judge DelConte revealed at least twelve more ballots were discovered in Chenango County — a week after it was revealed there were 55 unopened mail-in ballots suddenly discovered in the same county.

        Suddenly discovered…. sure.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    They didn’t learn their lesson the first time?

    This time for sure!

    It’s not like the Republicans could ever get a majority again.

    • Hyperion

      As long as they can cheat in every election from now on, they don’t need to learn any lessons.

  29. Mojeaux

    You know what? If it’s not the COVID, it’s climate change. These people have us locked in and locked up.

    • R C Dean

      *peruses Costa Rica expat site*

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      As the family friend who visited yesterday said, “this won’t go away until we make it go away.”

      She’s a crunchy vegan evangelical Christian, so I wasn’t sure which end of the covid spectrum she’d end up on, but it was damn good to hear her say it. It can feel quite isolating when everybody outside of glibs seems to be full on branch covidians.

      • Idle Hands

        It’s not going to go away till it start’s impoverishing the white collars.

      • Nephilium

        That’ll come when the cities and states start pushing for more taxes to make up their shortfalls. Potentially leading to a much larger underground economy.

      • Chipwooder

        Yep. Lately I’ve noticed that, not only is mask wearing pretty much 100% around here, but now most of these people are wearing them outside as well as inside.

        Lunacy.

      • Idle Hands

        the mask wearing has had a noticable uptick the last month late october early November I was walking around maskless in my harris teeter and safeway and wasn’t alone in that regard now if you see someone outside without a mask it’s like seeing someone’s private parts.

      • Chipwooder

        I think I’ve seen maybe three people in a business without one in the past few months, and one of those guys was a huge, scary-looking biker who I’m pretty sure wasn’t going to have ANYONE telling him he had to wear one.

    • Idle Hands

      are there no recession proof industries anymore?

    • Chipwooder

      SHE is the highest paid whore? I refuse to believe that.

      • wdalasio

        I think Kamala would like to have a word with her.

  30. kinnath

    Back in the 90s, I was taught never to write anything in an email that I didn’t want to read on the front page of the New York Times or testify about on the stand.

    Apparently Zuckerberg is as dumb as he looks.

    https://www.cnbc.com/2020/12/09/ftc-and-several-states-launch-antitrust-lawsuits-against-facebook.html

    “Since toppling early rival Myspace and achieving monopoly power, Facebook has turned to playing defense through anticompetitive means,” the FTC states in its lawsuit. “After identifying two significant competitive threats to its dominant position — Instagram and WhatsApp — Facebook moved to squelch those threats by buying the companies, reflecting CEO Mark Zuckerberg’s view, expressed in a 2008 email, that ‘it is better to buy than compete.’

    “In lamenting that Twitter had ‘turned down [Facebook’s] offer’ to be acquired in November 2008, Mr. Zuckerberg wrote: ‘I was looking forward to the extra time that would have given us to get our product in order without having to worry about a competitor growing,’” the FTC lawsuit states.

    • Fatty Bolger

      I don’t see the big deal. If that’s what their case hinges on, it’s a loser.

      • R C Dean

        I agree. Planning to buy a competitor, but not doing so, is a perfectly legal. Actually buying a competitor requires FTC review and approval.

      • Hyperion

        Yeah, how can anyone say that if I worked for years to build up a company and some alien looking dude comes along and gives me 100 times what the company is worth and I’m all of the sudden a billionaire, who can argue with that? Sounds like free enterprise to me.

    • Hyperion

      “Apparently Zuckerberg is as dumb as he looks.”

      How can you tell through that alien face? His one and only expression is Alien Gray Face.

    • Urthona

      it’s unclear to me what you’d break facebook up into.

  31. Hyperion

    So, I that that Elon moved to Texas.

    • Urthona

      also goldman is relocating many more people to either florida or texas.

      and nasdaq is considering moving to texas.

      If even the stock market moves…

  32. westernsloper

    ….his stacked neck wattles shaking queasily.

    Favorite line. Thanks!