Recipe: Brownie Bites

by | Dec 9, 2020 | Food & Drink, Recipes, Vegan School, Vegetarian | 133 comments

 

Lately I’ve found a new way to get my chocolate fix.

Since being mostly plant-based, I have found myself really missing things like cookies and brownies. Which is weird since I didn’t eat that many of them before. But whatever.

Emily Spain over at Pretty Pies has so many delicious desserts that I can enjoy.

I’ve now made this recipe twice, and it’s seriously satisfying and much less sweet than you’d expect. Using my mini-scoop, the recipe yields 35. At that size, each bite clocks in at just 49 calories, with 1 gram of protein, 3.4 grams net carbs, and 3.5 grams fat.

This is a no-bake recipe that comes together in just a couple minutes if you have a food processor.

I used regular cocoa powder and kosher salt, since that’s what I have on hand.

You store them in the fridge, and if you’re worried about eating too many at once, just pop them into the freezer.

Go here to see Emily’s original post.

 

SP’s Brownie Bites ready for serving

 

Are you baking or making treats for people for Christmas? I plan to include some of these.

About The Author

SP

SP

I've got an idea! How about we just stick to the Constitution as written and then the government can leave me the fuck alone.

133 Comments

  1. DEG

    This looks delicious.

    Are you baking or making treats for people for Christmas?

    At this point, I’m not planning on any baking or treat making. If a potluck comes up, that changes things.

    • Chipping Pioneer

      WHY DO YOU WANT GRANDMA TO DIE???!!!!?!!

  2. commodious spittoon

    Are you baking or making treats for people for Christmas?

    Does mixing drinks count?

    • SP

      Always!

    • EvilSheldon

      Yup! I’m making Cinnamon Bourbon Flips.

      2oz. cinnamon-infused bourbon (for the love of Enkidu, don’t use Fireball or some other commercial cinnamon-flavored ‘whiskey.’)
      1/2oz. Amaretto
      1 large whole egg
      1-2 tbsp. heavy cream

      Dry-shake it until your arm gets tired, then fill the shaker with ice and shake again. Strain into cocktail glasses and top with grated nutmeg.

      It’s like egg nog for people who actually like to drink.

    • R C Dean

      My man!

  3. Not Adahn

    My family makes something very like this, but without the cocoa powder (and a smaller amount of cinnamon.) We don’t refrigerate them, since it’s just dried fruit and nuts ground together.

  4. Fourscore

    I see those delicious looking things and the calories jump out. Mrs F is hooked on cooking shows and Fox news. Too often she will try a recipe and won’t have the same ingredients so she just substitutes or not. I eat it and keep my mouth shut.

    We eat fruit for dessert usually, never or rarely anything made with the good stuff, although I like it and that’s the problem, easier to avoid than try to control.

  5. Mad Scientist

    Would

    • Spudalicious

      It isn’t going to work.

      • Chafed

        Did OMWC leave?

  6. Trials and Trippelations

    My MIL made some brownie bites when we went over to decorate. To give them a Christmas theme, I called them reindeer poop which the kids found hilarious

  7. Mojeaux

    Those look pretty good, SP. I may try them. I love fig newtons, so I’m pretty sure I can deal with dates.

    Are you baking or making treats for people for Christmas?

    Naw. We’ll be lucky to celebrate Christmas at all. This year, on top of all the panicdemic, has been extremely rough and Mr. Mojeaux and I are very bah humbug.

    • SP

      You don’t bite into it and say, “Dates!” They are very balanced.

  8. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Needs more THC

  9. Tulip

    Those look seriously good. Thanks for that link

  10. Tulip

    I have a new tv series recommendation: Occupied on Netflix. I’m only three episodes in, but I am hooked.

    • westernsloper

      I have never been able to get into the tv series thing since the first couple seasons of Lost.

      • Tulip

        You really should try Beforeigners though. So, so good.

        No doubt it will be a single season show. Just too good for them to make more and it is 2020.

      • Old Man With Candy

        You really should try Beforeigners though. So, so good.

        Listen to her. This was a superb series, and we were skeptical after hearing the premise. Hooked.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Lost sucked.

        There’s plenty of stuff better than that overhyped shit series.

      • westernsloper

        Dude, it was 2004 and I chucked actual TV a few years after that. I will still call it as best tv series AXSHULLY on tv in 2004. Netflix is not “tv”. The production now is not apples to apples.

      • Rebel Scum

        It lost me after the first season.

    • rhywun

      Sounds interesting, but not interesting enough to futz with Netflix.

    • Don escaped Two Corinthians

      First hour went very well.

      NewWife is mostly Norwegian; they are fascinating folk.

  11. westernsloper

    Thanks SP, I might try this in spite of my ingrained anti hipster reflex to buy chia seeds unless I was going to grow a unique pet. A pet of my own that I watered like on tv. I bought some stuff yesterday for a pull out of my ass recipe of cross dishes. I absolutely promise to write it up good or bad, but keep in mind half the shit I make up is awful.

    • Fourscore

      I would never notice, Wes, I would think that is the way it was supposed to be and my gourmet experiences would never know the difference.

      The old fish camp cooking, “This tastes like Shit,… just the way I like it”. Anyone that complains get to be the new cook, not many complaints.

      Just keep the spice down low, I have the same taste buds as UCS.

      • westernsloper

        Just keep the spice down low,

        Oh that might be difficult but I will try to think of a 4×20 version. I often tone things down I share with my parents since my dad is 4×20 as well. For awhile they would ask me to smoke a pork butt for them but tone down the sauce. I have never been to a fish camp but when I do get the gift of time and schedules I make it to hunting camp. Nobody has ever complained about my food there.

      • Fourscore

        Hunting camp = fish camp for the most part. Your dad gets it.

    • mrfamous

      Chia seeds are pretty nutritious, and if you put a bunch in milk overnight, you’ll have a pudding like concoction the next morning (obviously you may need sweetener and anything else to make it taste better). I used to buy them at sprouts for not a ton of money. Haven’t been to sprouts since the pandemic.

    • SP

      Chia seeds are completely optional.

      I use them as Mr Famous commented above. I mix an overnight “pudding” with them and almond milk and oatmeal, that I then nuke for a quick and nutritious breakfast.

    • one true athena

      haha that reminds me. When I was a kid I had two guinea pigs as pets so thinking I was very clever, I thought I’d grow a chia pet and feed the sprouts to the piggies for a treat.

      Guinea pigs are not picky about too many greens, but they refused to touch chia sprouts. For quite awhile after that, when chia for people came more into fashion, I always remembered my piggies turning up their nose to that stuff and I wouldn’t try it, because if even guinea pigs thought it was gross, why would I eat it?

  12. Aloysious

    This year I’m going to have some hot buttered rum, or know the reason why.

    Why is the rum always gone?

  13. Tulip

    I’m enjoying browsing the recipes on the website, but wow! She really!! loves her some exclamation points!!!

    • rhywun

      And Yay! she looks really familiar. For a second I thought SF highjacked her site.

      • SP

        LOL

        Oops. Perhaps I shared her site with SugarFree previously….

    • DEG

      Ass Wednesday is like chocolate for the soul.

      Queue “Hershey Highway” jokes.

      The gallery is good.

    • Mojeaux

      I see what you did there.

      • Q Continuum

        I could also have gone with “Ass Wednesday also serves up some pretty pies”.

    • Chafed

      So you’re saying HM eats ass?

      • slumbrew

        That’s not a revelation; the man trumpets that fact.

      • Chafed

        Indeed he does and I am his herald.

  14. Rebel Scum

    Are you baking or making treats for people for Christmas?

    Probably not (I am not strict about it but I try to limit my carb intake) but those look good. I will be making Cornish Hens and a side though.

    Also, I would like to point out that Google’s propaganda machine remains in full swing. Google would like you to know that:

    As of December 8, states have certified presidential election results, with Joe Biden as the president-elect.

    That is literally, patently and definably #fakenews. Thanks for the “authoritative” information, you lying cuntes*.

    *Sorry to drop politics on your baking party but I had to say something about it.

  15. egould310

    That looks like a delicious treat. I bet they go well with a nice port. Saved for future use.

    This Christmas we’ve got an apple pie queued up. Guess I’ll try my hand at these fig thingees too.

  16. Annoyed Nomad

    Actually I prefer pitted dates wrapped in bacon with a pecan tucked inside and baked until the bacon is crispy.

    • Annoyed Nomad

      But i guess that’s not very vegan.

    • Rebel Scum

      pitted dates wrapped in bacon with a pecan tucked inside

      Nutty, greasy, acne-weathered partners? Kinky.

  17. Rebel Scum

    Hyperion on December 9, 2020 at 5:40 pm

    At least Fang Fang won’t have any effect on the Buttplugged.

    That is why they will have to send in Fag Fag.

    No, it’s ok. I’ll see myself out.

  18. Old Man With Candy

    I wish it weren’t a school night. I’m in the mood to drink.

    • straffinrun

      From anyone else that wouldn’t be disturbing.

    • Tulip

      Me too

    • rhywun

      I must be “functioning” because that doesn’t stop me.

  19. zwak

    “Are you baking or making treats for people for Christmas?”

    Not for Xmas, but the old guy who lives across the alley from me just moved his wife into memory care, so I am going to bake some cookies for him.

    Or, more likely, make charcoal briquets.

  20. KSuellington

    Looks tasty. I have been experimenting with different jerk chicken recipes. Tonight’s may have been the best. I haven’t really used a set recipe at all. Tonite was 1 orange, 1 lime, a tablespoon of salt and garlic powder, generous black pepper, 3 teaspoons allspice, 2 teaspoons coriander powder, 1 teaspoon cinnamon, 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg, 1/2 teaspoon ground clove, 2 inch piece of ginger, generous honey, olive oil and apple cider vinegar and of course, 5 habaneros de seeded. Process it up and marinade two lbs of drumsticks, reserving half a cup for basting during grilling. Served with baked sweet potato fries I chopped up, half kosher pickles and some cole slaw and potato salad from the deli across the street.

    • straffinrun

      *2 days later*

      You know where you can get a jerk chicken?

    • egould310

      ?

  21. straffinrun

    If-everybody-would-just-ism” is the most ridiculous ideology out there. “If everybody would just:

    Wear a mask
    Get the vaccine
    Agree to invading Iraq
    Stop drinking
    Pay their fair share
    Join nationalized health care
    Respect the police
    Stay in their homes
    Quit using certain words
    Gave up their guns
    Blah, blah, blah

    If your idea relies on everybody doing something for it to succeed, you’re either a lying totalitarian or a dipshit.

    • LemonGrenade

      “If everyone would sweep their own doorstep, the whole world would be clean.” – sampler my grandmother had on her wall

      • straffinrun

        Grandma wisdom is good wisdom.

      • LemonGrenade

        I think she recognized the futility of trying to force anyone to do it, though. She always pointed to it, and sort of laughed, like that would ever happen. But she was also big on the basic concept of take care of your own business and stop trying to run everyone else’s.

      • Gender Traitor
      • dbleagle

        Just a reminder the book “Ain’t Nobody’s Business” is available for free on this website.

      • Gender Traitor

        Got it! Thanks! : )

      • LemonGrenade

        A classic, but I’m used to hearing it via Hank Williams. A highly appropriate song for the night.

  22. Rebel Scum

    Governor Coonman McBlackface is supposed to come out with new convid-1984 restrictions tomorrow. While others are being restricted I intend to continue about my normal daily business and activities.

    Scruffy Nerfherder on December 9, 2020 at 6:13 pm

    And in local news, the new chairperson of the Colonial Williamsburg Foundation Board of Trustees is…. dun, dun, duuuunnnnn…..

    Carly Fiorina

    Does that biotch even have any vested interest in VA or is she just another corporate, carpetbagging cunte?

    • Brochettaward

      I find your misogynistic attacks on Carly offensive.

      • Rebel Scum

        If true you are the first to do so.

    • Brochettaward

      Haven’t seen you around much lately. Thought you might have choked on some cock in a bathroom stall and left us.

    • commodious spittoon

      Worth it for the punch line, even if her voice makes me want to pull out my inner ears with a corkscrew.

  23. straffinrun

    Little girl at the park looks lost and is screaming “Papa! Papa!” Any takers?

    • Spudalicious

      I’m full up on orphans. Besides, the shipping costs are ruinous.

    • R C Dean

      Tough one. Very tough.

  24. Chipwooder

    Been batting 1.000 with dinners lately. I looked around at recipes online and did a riff off a “Hawaiian” pork tenderloin recipe I stumbled across. I have no idea if it is actually in any way Hawaiian, but it was a hit with the kids. The sauce/glaze was pork stock, ketchup, brown sugar, pineapple juice (I added mashed up bits of pineapple to it too), and a bit of honey mustard, reduced to a thick syrupy state. Brushed on a few coats in the last 15 mins of cooking, served it with grilled pineapple slices and rice.

    Tonight I went back to the old tried and true kid favorite, chicken cutlets with mashed potatoes and peas. I was very happy with them for keeping an open mind on the pork, so they were rewarded with the meal they ask for literally every week. I don’t mind making them sometimes, but those cutlets are too labor intensive to make too often.

    • LemonGrenade

      Humble brag. We’ve cooked dinner at home every night since Nov 12. Part of it was boredom with local takeout options, but part of it was the challenge. I try one or two new recipes each week and use old favorites for other nights. This is a substantial jump from pre-commie cough; we used to order out at least twice a week. The kids have been begging me to relent and get fast food just one night. Aren’t I tired of cooking yet? The cheapskate in me says no.

  25. Chafed

    Vegan and no bake sounds great. Thanks for sharing SP.

    That there are less than 100 comments on this post, at this hour, is a travesty. Get your rusty tin can lid collection and let’s ride!

  26. leon

    Saw this in the “trending column” on Twitter, gave me a good cuckle:

    “Journalists and Fact checkers pointing out that Nixon won both Ohio and Florida and lost the 1960 election”

    You mean the one where there is a lot of evidence that JFK stole it? Not sure i would point to that election to buttress my argument.

    • LemonGrenade

      Election fraud a myth, comrade. There has never been a stolen election, ever.

  27. Shpip

    Washington man fucks around, finds out.

    FTA: Troublefield said this was the first time he’s ever confronted anyone for not wearing a mask. He said he was compelled to because both he and his wife have preexisting conditions. He said he’s frustrated that people aren’t taking the pandemic seriously and putting everyone else at risk. But he also said this will be the last time he’ll ever say anything again.

    Give the guy this much: he’s not a slow learner.

    • Chafed

      SLD, he should not have been harmed.

      What sort of genius confronts two guys in a parking lot. Put your bags in the car and go home.

      • Tres Cool

        Escalation- ““The gentleman tapped on my chest. And I flipped up his hat, and that’s when they both got out of the car,” Troublefield explained.”

        Lesson learned: “But he also said this will be the last time he’ll ever say anything again.”

        Also, with a name like that, perhaps he should just stay home more.

    • mrfamous

      If:

      A. You were really worried about your health from exposure to COVID, and
      B. Convinced that someone not wearing a mask was a serious risk of exposure

      Then why would you then go up and get closer to that person?

      If on the other hand you simply wanted to shame and criticize a random stranger like he was a child, then on your merry way.

    • Tres Cool

      Damn it…I meant to use this link.

    • Tres Cool

      Chipotle ?

      • hayeksplosives

        LOL

    • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

      I really dig his work with The Raconteurs.

  28. Sean

    Also, fuck China.

    • Gender Traitor

      But have they ever had a giant statue of Jesus??

      • Tres Cool

        + Solid (crack) Rock Church

        I dont know if you’ve read the stories surrounding the church, the horse farm on the other side of 75, and Jim from Jungle Jim’s, but they’re compelling.

      • Gender Traitor

        Not Jungle Jim?!? There goes the last of my faith in humanity!

      • Tres Cool

        Seems there’s some (alleged) triangle between the horse farm, church, Jim’s, drugs, and money-laundering. I dunno.

    • Sean

      ?

  29. Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

    Mornin’ Gents! I’m five birthday beers in and nobody is around.

    • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

      Hey Red! Didn’t see you there!

    • Gender Traitor

      Mornin’, Fes! Happy Birthday!

    • Tres Cool

      Im about the same, since it was my night/day off. Been drinking since around 3 am.

      Hey Festus:
      Its your birthday
      Thats for real-real
      Not for play-play.

      Obligatory

    • hayeksplosives

      Good morning, birthday boy!
      Any big plans, or is birthday beer pretty much it?

      • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

        Working every day for the next few weeks so Birthday Beer is it.

    • l0b0t

      HAPPY BIRTHDAY FESTUS!!!!!!!

      • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

        Thank You, Friends! 56 turns around Sol and sometimes feeling every second of it. The people here make it better. Much better!

    • Sean

      Happy Birthday!

      • TARDis

        Happy birthday, Festus! I hope you and your tits enjoy the day.

      • TARDis

        Oops. Stupid phone.

      • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

        My tits will be toiling and chafed but thanks anyway, Tardis!

    • Grosspatzer

      Happy birthday, dude!

      • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

        Thank You!

    • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

      “Im sorry, the answer is Moops!”

      • Tres Cool
    • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

      This sounds very much like the way Cops would treat rape victims in the olden times. “So sorry, Miss but did you really think it was a good idea to go out in that little red number? All things being equal, it just boils down ta He said/She said situation.”

  30. Sean

    So, there’s at least 2 Biden’s under federal investigation. WTF?

    How is this where our country is at?

    • Tres Cool

      False news. And the incoming AG will exonerate everyone involved. Hell, they may even get a Nobel Peace Prize.

    • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

      They didn’t make it public until December 9th. Something significant about the 8th but I just can’t put my finger on it…

  31. Sean

    Hardcore.

    Oh noes, people might be having fun! Quick, send the po-lece.

    • mrfamous

      Thank you for your service