Tuesday Morning Links

by | Dec 22, 2020 | Daily Links | 470 comments

It’s getting ugly for Pittsburgh.

Man, the Stillers are doing everything they can to blow the division. Now they’re losing to the Bungles! Oh well, they’d waaaaay overachieved this season anyway.  aTm fans are still being salty bitches, as the entire SEC jumps on the Bama bandwagon to prove how great their own team is.  Which means we’re finally getting back to normal, I suppose.  And that’s pretty much it for sports.

“And then he put his blank in her blank!”

Big birthdays today are Italian composer Giacomo Puccini, baseball HOFer Connie Mack, tobacco heiress Doris Duke, awesome actress Barbara Billingsley, game show host Gene Rayburn, hurler Steve Carlton, baseball player Steve Garvey, twin “rockers” Maurice and Robin Gibb, insanity-stopper Susan Powter, rapper Luther Campbell, actor Ralph Fiennes, actress Dina Meyer (notorious for them pancake titties in Starship Troopers), possible serial killer and US Senator Ted Cruz, and underrated hockey player Kirk Maltby.

That list was average at best.  And don’t get your back up about the pancake titties comment. Especially since you know it to be true.  Anyway, on to…the links!

Congress putting the finishing touches on the Covid bill.

Congress passes the biggest pile of shit ever. I really don’t know what else to say about it.  Trump will sign it, I’d imagine. And our currency will been step closer to insolvency. But at least one person looked at it objectively. A sin for which he will probably be pilloried.

Best of luck, lady. You’re about to find out what people like us have been bitching about for years. Things you never even thought about as a government hack who had an outsized influence on others lives.

So it’ll be pretty much like the teens? Big breaking news there, Yale.

You want to know how I know we’re alone in the universe? Because this piece of human filth has never been right about anything in his miserable life.

These assholes should be out of a job.

Desk duty? That’s the best you can do? This is pretty much all the proof anybody needed that the Chicago Police Department is above the law.

Miserable, unlikable asshole cheers the end of holiday parties. I eagerly await the end of the Hermit Era. This Fiona Lee idiot will lament people once again becoming interconnected.

I’m sorry for your loss, lady. Now stop trying to be an authoritarian. Also, learn to read the side of the box and also keep at-risk family members at home.  Have a nice day.

And here’s a great song for y’all. Enjoy it!

Now get out there and have a great day, dear friends!

About The Author

sloopyinca

sloopyinca

470 Comments

  1. Yusef drives a Kia

    kind of early, but hey,
    ‘Morning All!

  2. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam ?

    Oh..O-H!

    • sloopyinca

      I-O!!!

      Not much going here in Carolina. Too many Clemson flags for my taste. Although there’s still easily twice as many Buckeyes flags in this neighborhood.

      • Tres Cool

        Game recognize game, yo.

      • robc

        Don’t you want a matchup with anyone, literally anyone, other than a team from South Carolina?

      • C. Anacreon

        Glad my Wildcats at least put a little scare in all of you Bucknuts last weekend. We had an amazing defense this year and did keep you out of the end zone until almost the 4th quarter! But what a game by Sermon, we had no answer for him.

  3. FESTUS IS AN ESSENTIAL WORKER! KNEEL BEFORE FESTUS!

    Early Links? Witchery! Thanks, Sloop!

  4. Tres Cool

    “When Riggs checked into the hospital, a morgue trailer big enough to stack 24 bodies had just arrived out back. A medical field tent sprung up in the parking lot while doctors moved the 67-year-old college professor to a ventilator. He died in an intensive care unit that has been full for weeks and is the largest within roughly 15,000 square miles of pumpjacks and cattle pastures, bigger than Maryland.”

    Jesus…that person need to be writing bodice-rippers, not for some paper.

    • sloopyinca

      “A morgue trailer big enough to stack 24 bodies”? So like a 12×6 reefer trailer?

      • FESTUS IS AN ESSENTIAL WORKER! KNEEL BEFORE FESTUS!

        Pretty sure even I could stack 24 bodies in the back of the Tacoma. Might take a little roping , snap-straps and very low speed over the bumps but doable.

      • Bobarian LMD

        If you cut the feet off at the knees.

    • Not Adahn

      trailer big enough to stack 24 bodies

      That’s… not a big trailer. You could stack 24 bodies in a minivan.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, you see, that’s just stacking them like cordwood. A morgue trailer, that’s first class corpse carrying, each body probably gets its own cubby with enough room to pull out the slab.

    • R C Dean

      Not mentioned:

      Was the “morgue trailer” ever used ? This is getting into urban legend territory – there are rumors we have a morgue trailer behind the hospital. It’s actually the conex where we keep our overflow PPE. We have so much PPE we can’t fit it in our warehouse.

      “medical field tent sprung up in the parking lot” used for what? Ima guess, ‘Vid testing, most likely. Not open air surgery or whatever lurid fantasy is obviously going through the writer’s mind.

      • Not Adahn

        I’m wondering since this post-Thanksgiving surge in NYC is so much worse than the original one, why they haven’t brought back the two amry field hospitals and the hospital ship that they “needed” banck in those gentler times.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        “God replied: I sent you two boats and a helicopter!”

      • blackjack

        But why was there only one set of footprints?

      • pan fried wylie

        Jesus was flying the choppa?

      • Necron 99

        Because sand people march in single file to hide their numbers.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I was going to ask about NY and its hospitals.

        In some states like New York, where COVID cases overflowed hospitals earlier this year and were treated as a crisis, authorities have dispatched police to reports of violations, breaking up parties and even monitoring funerals where gatherings of unmasked people were anticipated. In California, Los Angeles County has issued more than 300 citations since September to churches, businesses and strip clubs for violations of COVID-19 restrictions.

        Did NY hospitals ever go over capacity? We people stacked in hallways? I remember that the hospital ships (that could never get there in time) were never actually used.

        I know I’m a deplorable from flyover, but that sure seems like a … lie.

      • juris imprudent

        I know one healthcare worker in that area and his personal experience reporting was pretty bad.

      • Pope Jimbo

        So were there overflows?

        Or is it like here, where they trot out front line heroes to complain about how exhausted they are? There is a difference.

        * I also realize that a lot of the nurses working at the hospitals really are doing great work, but they aren’t the ones who are running to be in front of cameras to use their exhaustion as an excuse to support Walz’s dictates.

      • juris imprudent

        As I recall, there were lots of patients and lots of deaths – much more than normal. Can’t say as to whether there was overflow or not.

      • pan fried wylie

        Doesn’t sound like evidence to me.

      • juris imprudent

        I didn’t claim it was evidence, and certainly not statistical. It is anecdote.

      • pan fried wylie

        Maybe anybody else got the joke at your expense.

      • Pope Jimbo

        No worries. I’d actually be interested in anecdotal stories about overflows. It would be reassuring if maybe there was a grain of truth to the journalo’s story.

        The two medial workers I know are both skeptical as fuck about this whole Rona bullshit.

        One is a medical doctor and she says that the CDC is pretty much worthless and the best info has been front line docs talking to each other about the best way to treat the Rona.

        The other is an IT manager who still has her nurses license at a children’s hospital and she says it is stunning how many kids come in for other things and when they test they discover that they are either positive for Rona or have the antibodies. Of course all these are reported as Rona cases.

      • R C Dean

        Narrator: it’s a lie.

    • Agent Cooper

      “I’m sorry for your loss, lady. Now stop trying to be an authoritarian. Also, learn to read the side of the box and also keep at-risk family members at home. Have a nice day.”

      If only we could get these sob stories for heart disease victims. Only an average of 1700 a day EVERY YEAR.

      • Akira

        If only we could get these sob stories for heart disease victims. Only an average of 1700 a day EVERY YEAR.

        I’ve been toying around with a satirical argument to get rid of HIV by imposing a personal lockdown, curfew, and contact tracing on anyone who tests positive or has been in a relationship with a positive person. After all, there are far fewer people with HIV than COVID, so this would be even easier. Plus there won’t be the massive loss of jobs and income.

        This will predictably be met with objections such as:
        – “Those people still have the right to live their lives”
        – “It’s unconstitutional and authoritarian”
        – “That won’t even be effective since someone will just bring it back into the country eventually”
        – “Some people are willing to take the risk of getting HIV; you don’t get to make that choice for them. If you’re concerned about it, YOU can take precautions yourself and leave other people alone to do what they want”

        … All of which are true with regards to the COVID response. So if they want to argue against my HIV eradication plan, they really don’t have a leg to stand on if they support all the COVID stuff.

  5. Yusef drives a Kia

    Abilene is the Gateway to Hell!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        ‘Sup Tres? I could be at your place in a 4 hour drive, might try it next Spring, if their is one

      • Tres Cool

        Im like Bob Barker, yo- “Come on down!”
        But since you’ve got me jonesing for Zender’s chicken I may have to come up to the mitten.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I’ll stock up on some Beast, diet of course,

      • Tres Cool

        And I intend to drink from your finest pimp-cup. Ideally, a bedazzled mason jar or tupperware.

      • pan fried wylie

        Do bedazzles properly stick to the texture of tupperware?

  6. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Also in the monstrosity COVID bill…

    Since the “deal” was announced last night, people have been scrambling to find out what’s actually in the fucking bill which is being voted on shortly. It’s just come out that, indeed, all three controversial copyright and trademark provisions are in the bill. The CASE Act will supercharge copyright trolling exactly at a time when we need to fix the law to have less trolling. And the felony streaming bill (which was only just revealed last week with no debate or discussion, includes provisions that are so confusing and vague no one is sure if it makes sites like Twitch into felons.

    It wouldn’t be an omnibus bill without a gift to Disney.

    • leon

      Congress should be limited to a number of pages per year that they are allowed to use.

      In every meaning of the word “page”

      • Pope Jimbo

        Schumer: Exactly how many reams of pages do I get?

      • AlexinCT

        Is Schumer a page reamer?

      • Agent Cooper

        Gerry Studds wants to know how many pages he “can use.”

  7. FESTUS IS AN ESSENTIAL WORKER! KNEEL BEFORE FESTUS!

    I’d take 90’s era Dina Meyer flap-jacks across the nose any old time!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I would be more interested in her other charms TBH,

      • FESTUS IS AN ESSENTIAL WORKER! KNEEL BEFORE FESTUS!

        She is/was a very pretty woman. Great hair and eyes!

  8. The Late P Brooks

    According to Christakis, who is also a social epidemiologist, society will make up for lost time as soon as it’s safe to, with hedonism quickly replacing conservative socializing

    Sounds legit.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      social epidemiologist

      Good work if you can get it.

      • R C Dean

        So, not an epidemiologist at all?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Social science is to science as social epidemiologist is to epidemiologist?

        Checks out; SAT say yes.

    • sloopyinca

      Every time I see the name Cristakis, I think of the Aristotle Kristatos villain from “For Your Eyes Only”, the Bond movie with arguably the best looking chick in it, Carole Bouquet.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Xenia Onatopp would like to have a word.

      • Tres Cool

        “Xenia Onatopp” could be a hooker from Greene County.

        /joke for Sloopy

      • sloopyinca

        She’ll rip through you like a tornado.

      • Tres Cool

        Rock you like a hurricane ?

      • Idle Hands

        Carole Bouqet wouldn’t even make my top 10 bond chicks.

      • Agent Cooper

        Diana Rigg was the best Bond girl. Change my mind.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      He was on Rogan recently and would be the most insufferable guest…except Yglesias was also on recently.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Most insufferable guest on Rogan is an extremely steep peak to climb.

        Like trying to reach peak retard.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    Officers responded to three of the calls about face coverings, which have been required since June. No citations were issued.

    “I’ve never been one to call out government or leadership,” said Katie Riggs Maxwell, 38, Riggs’ daughter. “But it’s suddenly extremely personal.”

    Fuck you.

  10. robc

    Baseball birthdays: Missed Lonnie Smith and Matty Alou.

    • Old Man With Candy

      Fun trivia: which brothers have the highest total home runs?

      • Chipwooder

        Hank and Tommy Aaron?

      • Old Man With Candy

        Ding ding ding!

      • Chipwooder

        Yes!

        I only know there was a Tommy Aaron from a childhood of Richmond Braves games. He played for them for years, managed them, and had a team award named after him.

  11. FESTUS IS AN ESSENTIAL WORKER! KNEEL BEFORE FESTUS!

    Funny how all of the “Breakfast Club” voted against the bill for different reasons. Maybe they can be compelled to attend Congress on Saturday and realize how similar they really are. “And a Wise Janitor Shall Lead Them..”

  12. The Late P Brooks

    You have to pass it to find out what’s in it.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Let’s see….

      Corn… and some nuts.

      • UnCivilServant

        It’ll be more like a kidney stone.

        Sorry, man.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That hurts.

      • sloopyinca

        And thems the good parts!

    • hayeksplosives

      When Nancy uttered that phrase, with over 50% of the population still highly skeptical about Affordable Care Act, it was such an arrogant yet ridiculous thing to say that I thought there’d be no way she’d ever win an election or major Congressional battle again.

      Yet 10-11 years on, here we are. And there she goes. A billionaire public servant.

      • Tulip

        Well, she does have shares in Domion

      • C. Anacreon

        Dough for her, problems for us minions

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      “We have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it, away from the fog of the controversy.”

  13. hayeksplosives

    Good morning, all!

    I am working today, but from home so I can still relax and wear PJs if I want.

    I am not going to let the bastards drag me down today.

  14. Rebel Scum

    Congress passes the biggest pile of shit ever.

    Your tax dollars at work!

    $169,739,000 to Vietnam, including $19 million to remediate dioxins (page 1476).
    Unspecified funds to “continue support for not-for-profit institutions of higher education in Kabul, Afghanistan that are accessible to both women and men in a coeducational environment” (page 1477).
    $198,323,000 to Bangladesh, including $23.5 million to support Burmese refugees and $23.3 million for “democracy programs” (page 1485).
    $130,265,000 to Nepal for “development and democracy programs” (page 1485).
    Pakistan: $15 million for “democracy programs” and $10 million for “gender programs” (page 1486).
    Sri Lanka: Up to $15 million “for the refurbishing of a high endurance cutter,” which is a type of patrol boat (page 1489).
    $505,925,000 to Belize, Costa Rica, El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua, and Panama to “address key factors that contribute to the migration of unaccompanied, undocumented minors to the United States” (pages 1490-1491).
    $461,375,000 to Colombia for programs related to counternarcotics and human rights (pages 1494-1496).
    $74.8 million to the “Caribbean Basin Security Initiative” (page 1498).
    $33 million “for democracy programs for Venezuela” (page 1498).
    Unspecified amount to Colombia, Peru, Ecuador, Curacao, and Trinidad and Tobago “for assistance for communities in countries supporting or otherwise impacted by refugees from Venezuela” (page 1499).
    $132,025,000 “for assistance for Georgia” (page 1499).
    $453 million “for assistance for Ukraine” (page 1500).

    But you get $600, comrade. Which is good because you will need something to wipe your ass with.

    • hayeksplosives

      And millions will thank the government for its generously in giving out the $609 checks.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Dude, take it easy on them.

      How can their family members grift if they don’t flood foreign countries with cash?

    • Drake

      America First bitches!

      Also – Israel got $500 mill.

      The Clintons and Bidens proved that “foreign aid” is nothing except a racket. An easy way for them them to engage in massive grift, bribery, kickbacks, and influence peddling. Are they doing this massive raid on the Treasury because they think this is the last chance before things crumble? Or do they think they can keep doing this forever? Or do they not think at all?

      • Tres Cool

        Massive raid on the (non-existent) Treasury because they can.

    • leon

      $132,025,000 “for assistance for Georgia

      I realize it’s there but it would be kind of funny if they didn’t add clarifying language in it to make sure Georgia doesn’t always take the funding meant for Georgia.

    • Jerms

      No less than $10,000 will be spent on gender studies in Pakistan. That in it. Really.

      • pan fried wylie

        + ,000

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        I bet that’ll play really well in Peshwar (AKA the Taliban’s Southern and kinda Eastern HQ).

      • pan fried wylie

        If you know a less expensive way to get people thrown off of roof tops in Pakistan, I’d like to see it.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        So, it is a round about method of birth/population control?

  15. The Late P Brooks

    New Variant! Do those bozos even have ant reliable means of tracking or finding mutations, or is this just more of the same made up bullshit?

    My confidence in the expertise of these “researchers” is nil.

    • hayeksplosives

      What has a year of shutdown, travel restrictions, and masking given us?

      It hasn’t helped a bit. But “influencers” have managed to keep the gullible masses believing that is only the case because of us anti-maskers, bitterly clinging to our Bill of Rights.

  16. FESTUS IS AN ESSENTIAL WORKER! KNEEL BEFORE FESTUS!

    I know that is is intrinsically wrong to “judge a book by its cover” but John Brennan’s face is evil inherent. It’s like a caricature of what a slimy bureaucrat looks like. Maybe they’ll put his visage on the Trillion Dollar coins. Fucking commie wastrel.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      He’s on Dax Shepard’s podcast this week.

      I felt bad for Kennedy, always having to have John Bolton on.

  17. FESTUS IS AN ESSENTIAL WORKER! KNEEL BEFORE FESTUS!

    C’mon! Office parties ain’t all bad – https://youtu.be/Fl1anr6hBUM

    • sloopyinca

      I always loved office parties. You’d get wasted, there’d be some scandalous behavior, and then you’d go somewhere else with a few people you liked and someone else would inevitably pick up the tab.

      • Plisade

        My office parties are a blast. They’re not compulsory, so only the fun people attend… that might make a big difference.

      • FESTUS IS AN ESSENTIAL WORKER! KNEEL BEFORE FESTUS!

        I used to run the rec committee at work. Golf outings with lotsa swag from vendors, Bowling nights, Paintball, Sleigh rides for the chilluns, fundraising for worthy causes. Believe it or not I was once engaged with the wider world and tried to do some good. That was back before I realized that all politics is poison and will bring you down to its level.

      • Plisade

        I’ve had to keep my super spreader employee events on the DL so my liberal corporate overlords don’t shut me down.

        We. Will. Party. On.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        You gotta fight…

      • FESTUS IS AN ESSENTIAL WORKER! KNEEL BEFORE FESTUS!

        Best one I ever went to was a mutual affair when I was 16. The tiny strip mall and the garage that I worked at rented a hall down the street. The Chinese dive put on the catering and the booze was free. I got to make out with Sophie Jang but did not learn if the myth of the “harmonica-pussy” was true. Foy Jang put a stop to that right quick.
        Made out with another girl. Woke up in an unfamiliar house with a cow-worker, smoked a joint and went in for our shift two hours late. Best 1980 night ever!

      • sloopyinca

        Woke up in an unfamiliar house with a cow-worker, smoked a joint and went in for our shift two hours late.

        Wait, you worked at a parking garage/dairy?

      • Bobarian LMD

        I think he meant cow-orker, which is something completely different.

      • creech

        I remember hearing about a Christmas party in Madison, WI where, a day or two later, an exec’s wife stormed into hubby’s office and fired a shotgun into the ceiling.

      • RBS

        My stepdad’s Christmas parties during the heyday of the restaurant were pretty epic. Open bars, tons of great food, open bars, service industry people…

      • AlexinCT

        We stopped having office party when some of the younger and better looking ladies got drunk and started dancing & stripping on tables making the ugly old hags jealous… Our CIO at the time was an ugly older lady with sever weight problems, and she had been having a great time telling dirty jokes and getting attention until the younger ladies took things to the next level. Then she got mad…

        Now I need to take training that warns me not to encourage people to dance on tables and strip….

      • juris imprudent

        Training to not encourage people to dance on tables and strip:

        1) DO NOT WAVE DOLLAR BILLS

      • Not Adahn

        Fun fact: the bar at the Yellow Rose in Austin never stocked $1 bills for change. $2 were the smallest currency available in the house.

      • pan fried wylie

        “We tried to get $3 bills, but they asked if we were queer.”

      • prolefeed

        That’s … not true. Back before I remarried, I’d ask for $20 in ones for tips to strippers at the Rose. I never even saw a two, ever.

      • Chipwooder

        some of the younger and better looking ladies got drunk and started dancing & stripping on tables

        So, you guys hiring?

  18. Chipwooder

    Health experts consider masks the most effective way of preventing the spread of COVID-19.

    They have no actual evidence of this, but who needs evidence?

    • Plisade

      Ok, so, I run a food production plant and we’ve already had protocols in place to prevent the spread of viruses, for obvious reasons, and that is very much pre-Covid 19. What do we do to keep viruses out of food? Not wear masks. If people are symptomatic, e.g. dripping snot or coughing spewing saliva, we send them home. In bad flu seasons, and now for the ‘vid, we sanitize surfaces everybody touches, all day every day, surfaces like door handles, toilets, sinks, work stations.

      It’s the same thing office peeps have done for decades in a bad flu season – spray Lysol on things people touch. That’s it. And we’ve already known what to do. But now people are being told that the mask is the end all be all, when they should be sanitizing surfaces regularly.

      /rant off

    • Fatty Bolger

      Yeah, that’s the same as admitting there is no effective way of preventing the spread of COVID-19.

      • Akira

        I’m still trying to figure out how exactly they propose to eradicate this virus. As far as I can tell, the reasoning is that “antibodies only last 3 months” (which is not the whole story of how immunity works) so we have to vaccinate everyone.

        I’m not sure what they propose to do when it inevitably re-enters the country, since if antibodies only last 3 months, then the protective effects of the vaccine would wear off in a similar timeframe (the IFLS people DO know how vaccines work, right?)

  19. The Late P Brooks

    More wisdom from the social epidemiologist:

    Past pandemics also have shown that it is the disease itself, and not the government’s response, which is most directly causing the current financial fallout.

    “Many people seem to think it’s the actions of our government that are causing the economy to slow — that’s false,” he said. “It’s the virus that’s causing the economy to slow, because economies collapsed even in ancient times when plagues happened, even when there was no government saying, ‘Close the schools and close the restaurants.’ “

    Lay off the paint thinner, pal.

    • Raven Nation

      Well, yeah, when 40% if Europe died during the Black Death it affected commerce.

      But a death rate of what, 2%? Probably not the same thing. But yeah, let’s draw an equivalency between all plagues in all places at all times in histo.

      • Broswater

        The death rate is more like 0,1%. With about 80% to 90% of them being retirees. Not much economic production from that group usually.

    • Rebel Scum

      that’s false

      Your face is false and you are a lying hack.

  20. Rebel Scum

    I can’t be bothered to care about what John Brennan has to say about anything. That commie pos should be in prison.

  21. Rebel Scum

    Lightfoot says Black people nationwide ‘feel angry and feel violated’

    And she has no authority over the situation…

    • bacon-magic

      You have to same her name 3 times.

      • Tres Cool

        Into a mirror

      • pan fried wylie

        actually, saying ‘Lightfoot’ 3 times into a mirror summons GORDON Lightfoot.

        She’ll have to appropriate her own mirror-summons.

      • Not Adahn

        You’d better take care.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Beetlefoot
        Beetlefoot
        Beetlefoot

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Still, he added, if individuals had been more adult in their response to the coronavirus, this would’ve been easier.

    “As a society we have been very immature,” he said. “Immature, and typical as well, we could have done better.”

    While previous pandemics were endured without the help of modern science, today’s rapid vaccine response ensures that COVID-19 will not only end, but will do so far faster than ever before possible.

    “We’re the first generation of humans alive who has ever faced this threat that allows them to respond in real-time with efficacious medicines,” he said. “It’s miraculous.”

    I’ll tell you what’s miraculous. You, dumb as you are, actually survived to adulthood.

    • R C Dean

      That’s the kind of smarmy condescending BS that should get a fella punched in the mouth.

      • juris imprudent

        Thus the media has to mediate – lest that kind of thing result in a dearth of expertise.

    • hayeksplosives

      While previous pandemics were endured without the help of modern science,…

      How did we survive without that “help”?

      It’s as if there was something to this natural selection concept.

      • Agent Cooper

        There has always been modern science. It was just less modern than contemporary science is now.

  23. Rebel Scum

    The pandemic has canceled office parties, the holiday tradition that no one likes. Good riddance.

    The scamdemic didn’t do it.

  24. Rebel Scum

    only six calls about people not wearing face coverings rolled into the Abilene Police Department.

    Why, pray tell, would there be ANY calls about such nonsense? ///rhetorical

    • FESTUS IS AN ESSENTIAL WORKER! KNEEL BEFORE FESTUS!

      Six Adam Twelve, Six Adam Twelve! We’ve got a holiday gathering! Please Respond!

  25. Juvenile Bluster

    So, question for y’all.

    I’ve talked about my sister’s piece of shit ex-husband before. They’ve lived in Maryland for the past decade or so. But he’s moving down here (and probably going to get full custody of the kids, because my sister’s not going to fight it because she… well, that’s not relevant here).

    Anynoo.

    My mother is *terrified* of him moving back down here. Probably with good reason, because he’s unhinged. So she’s asked me for advice on buying a gun.

    She’s a 65 year old upper-middle class white woman who’s never held a gun in her life. So any recommendations on what to get her? I’m going to take her to a range afterwards so she knows how to actually shoot.

      • Not Adahn

        ^this

      • Chipwooder

        A 5.7 pistol could work in that respect too, although they’re fairly expensive with pricy and sometimes hard to find ammunition. I must confess I’ve wanted to shoot a Five-Seven or a Ruger 57 for a while now. A high capacity, accurate pistol with almost no recoil sounds pretty awesome to me.

      • Not Adahn

        Someone leaked the cover of the new Kel-Tec catalog.

        It had a pistol</em? that takes FN P-90 mags. God Bless those wacky guys.

    • Chipwooder

      If she’s not planning on carrying, but wants a home defense option, I’d say go with a 20 gauge or an AR. Both are easy to shoot. The shotgun is generally easier to become proficient with.

    • sloopyinca

      Has he threatened her? Because if she’s never been comfortable with a gun, I doubt she will be now. And if he’s the threatening type, the best move might be to get him to threaten her in a way that’s prosecutable or that at least gets a restraining order.

      Also, the answer is Walther PPS .380 or a PPK .380 if she wants to be a bit flashier.

      • Juvenile Bluster

        He has, in the past, threatened her. He’s threatened my father, my mom, me, and my brother. Like I said, he’s unhinged.

        I’m going to help her get a restraining order, but a restraining order isn’t a magical shield if he shows up at the house.

        (before they moved out of here I was at their apartment. My nephew was two at the time. He had a pistol, loaded, sitting on the bed. I yelled at my sister and told them I was calling CPS unless they bought a safe. They did, but he was pissed off at me to the extreme.)

      • sloopyinca

        Why don’t you just hire a few people to beat the shit out of him at random intervals and increasing intensity? Eventually he’ll get the message he’s not welcome.

      • Tres Cool

        I would generally advocate for getting a couple friends, a few beers, and wait with some lumber to administer “wood shampoo” to the dude when he walks out of wherever. Its also been my experience that when that happens to “unhinged” people, the time spent recovering the the hospital is the spark to ignite the flame of retaliation, which only escalates things.

      • Not Adahn

        Before you begin, you need two completel independent plans for body disposal.

      • Tres Cool

        Nah, just beaten into submission. Just a mental ‘tune up’.
        I wasn’t alluding to akshual Homicide.

      • blackjack

        I’m going with a high quality ,38 caliber revolver with a 3″ or longer barrel. It’s going to fire if you pull the trigger, pretty much no matter what. If you got a bad round, pull it again and the next one will work.

      • Tundra

        How about the Shield EZ? Inexpensive and super easy to rack.

      • EvilSheldon

        The Shield EZ, if you can find one, is a great choice for a newbie.

        Be careful though, a bunch of them were just subject to a factory recall.

      • EvilSheldon

        A Walther .380 is about the worst possible choice for an inexperienced shooter, likely with limited grip strength. They kick far out of proportion to their size, they’re too small to comfortably manipulate, terrible triggers, difficult to rack the slide, and they’re not known for their reliability.

        *Do not buy a Walther .380*

      • Not Adahn

        More generally: do not buy a pistol smaller than necessary.

        CZ P10-F?

      • dontreadonme

        Agreed. Small caliber revolver is the answer for a small inexperienced older shooter. 22LR or .38 would be my choice. .380’s are just too hot to handle and miserable to operate the slide. Hell, I would recommend a compact 9mm over a .380.

    • EvilSheldon

      A couple non-gear comments…

      First and foremost, make absolutely goddamned sure that she’s not thinking, “Well, I’ll scare him with the gun, but I could never really shoot him…” That mindset is how people end up getting shot with their own guns.

      Second, 65-year-old women often have osteoporosis and/or rheumatoid arthritis, and the compromised grip strength that goes along with it. Keep this in mind. Reduced grip strength can lead to problems controlling recoil, racking the slide on an automatic, or managing the trigger on a revolver.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    I’m wondering since this post-Thanksgiving surge in NYC is so much worse than the original one, why they haven’t brought back the two amry field hospitals and the hospital ship that they “needed” banck in those gentler times.

    If I recall correctly, they turned the Javits Convention Center into a giant (completely unutilized) “field hospital”.

  27. Juvenile Bluster

    actress Dina Meyer (notorious for them pancake titties in Starship Troopers)

    How DARE you. That was the greatest scene in cinematic history, and she was smoking hot in that movie.

    • sloopyinca

      Pancakes, man. You know I’m right.

      • Tres Cool

        I prefer some sag to the tittays. At my age, its just easier on the neck.

      • AlexinCT

        Down to the knees?

    • Not Adahn

      There are a number of wonderful scenes in that movie. The gender-egalitarian shower, the prom, and Denise Richard’s only flash of believeable acting: the “Johnny” when she gets busted hitting on the other team’s QB.

      • sloopyinca

        Zander was a receiver and defensive back for the other team (the Giants, btw). Their QB was a black dude.

      • Not Adahn

        …you are correct. I have no idea what that says about you.

        I would also be willing the bet that NPH took his costumes home with him.

      • sloopyinca

        It says I’m a bit of a nerd.

        Also, Zander had the best line in the movie:
        One day, someone like me is gonna kill you and your whole fucking race!

  28. Juvenile Bluster

    The high here on Friday is going to be in the mid-upper 50s with the low in the mid-upper 30s. Coldest Christmas here in over 30 years. Average Christmas Day high is 75.

    • Chipwooder

      We rarely went elsewhere for the holidays because my mom is kind of a tyrant when it comes to doing the holidays her way, but one of the few was a trip to Boynton Beach for Christmas 1990 at Grandma’s house shortly after she died, to see my aunts and uncles. I think it was over 80 on Christmas Day. Felt so weird.

      • hayeksplosives

        It helps to have a Christmas tree up.

        But the 75 degree day yesterday does not compute with Xmas in my mind.

      • blackjack

        You get used to it a lot faster than getting used to shoveling snow and scraping ice.

      • Not Adahn

        We’re predicted to get a cosmetic touch-up to our snowfall on Christmas day.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Raises hand,
        /White Christmas

    • juris imprudent

      Looks like our first white Christmas here, on the sixth try.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    The Bloombergers are feigning incomprehension at the size of the emergency stimulus bill.

    As if it isn’t an entirely foreseeable Frankenstein monster of 435 wishlists stitched and pasted haphazardly together under cover of darkness.

    • hayeksplosives

      Forget it, Jake. America’s final national election was a winner-takes-all affair.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      We get the high costs associated with pollution control, China gets the manufacturing and cooks the books while we look the other way. It’s the ultimate NIMBY and it’s going to hollow out the first world’s manufacturing base like we’ve never seen.

      • juris imprudent

        Just like the rare earths mining and processing – as long as that is all done in some other country, the greens consciences will bother them not one bit. They will enjoy all the fruits of that dirty industry – solar panels, cell phones, etc. etc. and their hypocrisy will never be confronted.

  30. Certified Public Asshat

    Congress passes the biggest pile of shit ever.

    And after all of the bitching she did yesterday…AOC was a yes. Only dems to vote no were Gabbard and Tlaib.

    • Not Adahn

      @ her next time!

    • hayeksplosives

      Forget it, Jake. America’s final national election was a winner-takes-all affair.

      • hayeksplosives

        Oops. Wrong thread.

      • PieInTheSky

        traitor

      • Drake

        They forgot to throw a few $billion over to Romania?
        The trick is, you have to promise to immediately reimburse 10% to the Big Guy.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Any motherfucker that voted for that dumpster fire should be tarred and feathered and ridden out of town on a rail (metaphorically of course). Trump too if he signs it which he will.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I think you’re going to get your second wish, but not for the reasons you state,

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Why, is there money in the bill for light rail in DC or something?

      • leon

        I’m not even sure metaphorically. Looking at all the foreign donations, much, if not all, of which i imagine ends up back in the hands of these politicians and their friends, congress has literally sold the country out to foreign interests, and domestic companies.

      • Plisade

        Congress has literally stolen our money and laundered it through aid of one flavor or another to other corrupt countries.

      • Drake

        We would truly be better off if we were ruled by Viking raiders or a king and nobles. At least they would be hesitant to kill the golden goose.

      • juris imprudent

        I seem to recall a lot of that ends up being connected with purchases of American goods, military sales most often.

      • Juvenile Bluster

        Yep. The $500 million going to Israel in the bill is for strengthening the Iron Dome, which translates to buying missiles and other equipment from American companies.

      • Drake

        Because Israel wouldn’t defend itself otherwise… Not even with the proceeds from the all the drones they sold to Azerbaijan so they could beat the shit out of Armenia.

  31. Derpetologist

    Habari ya asabuhi, marifiki zangu

    (mornin’ friends)

    I learned a welding trick last night – make little circles as you go to keep a steady pace. I should have bought a hood with auto-darkening glass, but I’m a sucker for old fashioned tech, plus it was $10 cheaper. Still need to work on making straight lines before I try to stack beads again. Still, a lot of progress for only 12 hours of practice time.

    “With the blast shield down, I can’t see. How am I supposed to [weld]?”

    “Use the Force.”

    As for the Swahili greeting, there’s 3 words in there derived from Arabic – Habari from khabar (news), asabuhi from as-subaah (morning), and marafiki from rafiq (friend). Hatari means danger (from khatar) and is also a John Wayne movie with a lot of mistranslated Swahili.

    Since I missed the last GlibFit post, here’s quick run down: weight holding at 170; goal is 165. Went back to routine of curls, presses, and lunges with 40 lb weight vest and 25 lb dumbbells. Had excellent blood pressure last week and ran my fastest 2 mile in almost a year.

    Will test my cold weather sleeping bag tonight. I slept in colder weather when I climbed Mt Kilimanjaro.

    And lastly, to set the mood for tonight’s satire:

    ***
    John Frum (also called Jon Frum, John Brum, John Prum,) is a figure associated with cargo cults on the island of Tanna in Vanuatu. He is often depicted as an American World War II serviceman who will bring wealth and prosperity to the people if they follow him.
    ***

    Oopsy. I called him Joe, because I was thinking GI Joe, maybe.

    visual aid

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmlYe2KS0-Y

    • blackjack

      I make lower case cursive e’s when I mig weld. Also, you absolutely need auto darkening. It’s not easy keeping you gun pointed where it belongs while tilting the old stuff down. My welding improved a whole bunch with even a cheap auto helmet..

      • Derpetologist

        Noted. Some history

        ***
        The modern welding helmet used today was first introduced in 1937 by Willson Products.[3]

        In 1981, Swedish manufacturer Hornell International introduced an LCD electronic shutter that darkens automatically when sensors detect the bright welding arc,[5][6] the Speedglas Auto-Darkening Filter.

        With such electronic auto-darkening helmets, the welder no longer has to get ready to weld and then nod their head to lower the helmet over their face. The advantage is that the welder does not need to adjust the position of welding helmet manually which not only saves time but also reduces the risk of exposure to the harmful light generated by the welding process.
        ***

        Maybe once I get enough practice, I won’t need an auto-darkening hood.

      • pan fried wylie

        It’s awesome that they can make an LCD that’s fast enough AND dark enough.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        I worked on the EMP test for those devices. They were originally designed for pilots flying into nuclear combat. Before the flash-blindness goggles the aircrew would wear an eyepatch. After a nuclear flash they were to move the patch to the burned-up eye so they still had one eye to fly with.

        Yes, they are that fast and that dark.

      • pan fried wylie

        I mean, at bombing altitude…couldn’t you fly with both eyes covered for the 5mins the bomb is in flight and exploding? Didn’t they have basic autopilot back then? Sacrificing an eye seems unnecessary.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        It wasn’t necessarily for your bombs, it was for the ones from the Bad Guys, too.

        The FB-111 had shades that were to be pulled down when going into combat; you’d generally be on instruments at that point anyway.

        Neither version would protect the crew if the flash was unexpected. FB goggles could be worn at all times. Big improvement.

      • pan fried wylie

        Neither version would protect the crew if the flash was unexpected. FB goggles could be worn at all times. Big improvement.

        Fucking A.

  32. Rebel Scum

    So we are going to pretend this is not what normally happens with coronaviruses.

    In a dramatic move, prompted by fears over a new strain of coronavirus, all of those areas previously in Tier 3 in the South East – including London – moved to the new Tier 4 on Sunday.

    And, in further stark action across the rest of England, Prime Minister Boris Johnson announced on Saturday that the planned five-day easing of restrictions over the festive period will be limited to a single day.

    “Given the early evidence we have on this new variant of the virus, and the potential risk it poses, it is with a heavy heart that I must tell you we cannot continue with Christmas as planned,” he said at a Downing Street news conference.

    And miraculously in 2020 the human immune system that is more than familiar with these types of viruses ceased to function.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      This is what is to be expected when the healthy are locked down: the pressure leads to a more easily spreadable virus. Maybe the symptoms will be less and it can act as sort of a natural vaccination (we can hope, cant we?).

  33. The Late P Brooks

    She’s a 65 year old upper-middle class white woman who’s never held a gun in her life. So any recommendations on what to get her? I’m going to take her to a range afterwards so she knows how to actually shoot.

    You know what I’d do? I’d get one of those uberrealistic airsofts, and let her start with that, in her living room. You can make a target out of a cardboard box. See if she can do the most basic aim and fire exercises.

    • Tres Cool

      But then you have to sweep up the mess in your own crib. May as well have a cat.

    • Juvenile Bluster

      That’s actually not a bad idea to start with. It’s a few months before he moves back down here.

  34. The Late P Brooks

    Just heard on my teevee:

    “Republicans in Georgia are worried.”

    No shit, Shirley. How many of those new voter registrations are people who are no shit permanent full time residents of the state of Georgia?
    How many are citizens of the United States?

  35. wchipperdove

    The creators of 1980’s AIRPLANE!, one of the greatest comedies of all time, bought the rights to the 1957 film ZERO HOUR and used it as a template, adding jokes and gags throughout.

    Actress Lee Bryant, who had appeared in commercials for Yuban coffee (“Jim never has a second cup of coffee at home….”), reprised that role more or less in AIRPLANE!. Her character was also the one who got slapped around by a succession of passengers.

    • Tres Cool

      “Im a doctor, Ill handle this!”

    • Chipwooder

      I actually watched Zero Hour for the first time a few years ago. It’s amazing how much of the dialogue from Airplane! is lifted directly from it.

    • Mad Scientist

      Surely, you can’t be serious.

  36. The Late P Brooks

    But then you have to sweep up the mess in your own crib. May as well have a cat.

    If you build the target box properly, it catches most of the “bullets”. I did one for my BB gun, way back when.

    • sloopyinca

      Get a cat and use it for target practice.
      Double-win.

  37. leon

    Michael Malice
    @michaelmalice
    ·
    10h
    one time many years ago i was puking and in between heaves at one point i was like “wtf is that a bay leaf? where did that come from” but then the next heave washed it away

    https://twitter.com/michaelmalice

    Michael Malice is The Hyperbole. Confirmed.

    • Tres Cool

      Needs more bitching about Claussen’s Deli-Style Hearty Garlic Slices to be him. And the labor enacted to peel the paper off the deli meats to make his sandwich.

    • PieInTheSky

      bay leafs matter

      • PieInTheSky

        or maybe bay leaves

      • pan fried wylie

        baie* leaves

      • Not Adahn

        bae leaves

      • Tres Cool

        “bae? Leave.”

      • pan fried wylie

        “kkthxbailvs”

    • Old Man With Candy

      Nah, Hype wouldn’t block me.

      Would he?

    • Juvenile Bluster

      This one’s emblematic about what government thinks of the people.

      13. $720,000,000 to Social Security Admin / but get this only 200,000,000 is to help people. The rest is for admin costs

      • leon

        Nothing in this country would get done if a 5:1 bribe wasn’t paid.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It’s even worse than I thought.

  38. PieInTheSky

    The free speech row at Cambridge will restrict, not expand, expression

    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/dec/18/free-speech-row-cambridge-restrict-expression-minorities-freedom-thought

    To truly protect freedom of speech – a fundamental necessity for meaningful democratic life – we must be alert to how it can become weaponised in ideologically coercive ways. Free speech can become a Trojan horse to
    gain space and attention for retrograde ideas that do not really merit debate. Pretending that all ideas must always be treated as equally valid and worthy of discussion in the idealised “marketplace of ideas” allows discredited ones – such as race science – to be covertly rehabilitated.

    All too frequently, the gleeful caricature of students as “woke snowflakes” distracts from the fact that fomented free-speech controversies hinge almost exclusively on the right to express discriminatory, hateful or discredited viewpoints that explicitly target racial and sexual minorities. In recent years, some Cambridge colleges have incurred the wrath of self-styled free-speech champions by withdrawing roles and honours from a very small number of academics who have explicitly propagated misogyny, racism or discredited academic theories, including pseudo-science and eugenics.

    • Juvenile Bluster

      Who decides what ideas merit debate?

      Who decides what views are discriminatory, hateful or discredited? Because I see a whole bunch of shit from the woke left about Jews that would make a member of the KKK blush.

      Why is the tiniest deviation from the groupthink make someone’s thought misogynistic, racist or “discredited”?

      And why has most of the call for eugenic-type policies come from the left and not from the right?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Because only those on the right can abridge freedoms, because you know, they’re icky and all that.

        This is truly how they think.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Also, they don’t care about having consistent philosophy, they care about gaining power. They will move the goal posts wherever they need to be for them to win.

      • leon

        There is an ideological tension in the left. On one hand you have the far left, full of “Racial Justice” and fully a part of “Postmodern” thinking. On the other hand they still retain their continental rationalistic individualism from Rousseau. So in one hand they reject the concept of “Truth” (or so they claim, i think it is mostly a bad faith rhetorical ploy to try to get others to conceede to the most insane parts of their ideology), and on the other hand they believe that there must be a unity of mind, one that could be contained in a rational humans mind, from which we can decide which ideas are “discredited” and which ones are not.

      • Mojeaux

        Base premise: “They doan know no bettah. It’s for their own good.”

        They actually believe most other people must be looked after.

    • Rebel Scum

      Fuck off, slaver.

    • EvilSheldon

      If these awful ideas don’t merit debate, then why are you so afraid of having them expressed?

      Perhaps it’s because postmodern leftism is intellectually bankrupt, and has no ethical basis to debate any other ideology, no matter how repellant or destructive?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        ?

        Taking over is so much easier when you can shut down all intellectual opposition.

      • Plisade

        This, infinity times.

    • juris imprudent

      ideologically coercive ways

      Words have meanings, and this combination does not.

  39. PieInTheSky

    In local covid news number of new cases are dropping but so are number of test. I can’t give a shit no more

  40. The Late P Brooks

    “With the blast shield down, I can’t see. How am I supposed to [weld]?”

    Get a lighter shield. The auto darkening shields (even my Harbor Freight cheapie) are adjustable.

    And yes, the “swirlie” technique is good. You get a little p4reheat on the first pass. With practice, you can make some nice looking welds.

  41. Pope Jimbo

    Uffda. We got some mighty nice legal scholaring here in Minnesoda by our Fed Judges.

    A judge ruled that it is totes OK to ban a group from protesting King Walz’s one man rule. Why?

    The group sought to protest the order last month in a rally on the State Capitol grounds but the state denied the request, The order limits social gatherings in an attempt to curb virus transmission.

    Judge John Tunheim ruled Friday that Let Them Play MN had failed to prove its claims.

    Tunheim wrote that the state’s prohibition of social gatherings “has nothing to do with any message that might be conveyed at such gatherings. Rather, the prohibition has the singular intent of curbing the spread of COVID-19.”

    I wonder if Tunheim understands that the 1A does more than guarantee free speech? Like maybe it includes the freedom of assembly, or the right to petition the government for redress of grievances?

    The way that story reads, the tyrant can not abridge peoples’ rights if they ban ALL protests/assemblies. And I would think that a real judge who gave a shit about rights would make the government come up with some proof that a ban on assemblies is based on real science/data.

    • Rebel Scum

      the prohibition has the singular intent of curbing the spread of COVID-19

      No, it doesn’t.

    • sloopyinca

      Or how about showing that the blanket ban passes the “least restrictive means” test.

    • Tundra

      Neck-stretchin’ time?

      • Pope Jimbo

        It really seems to be getting there doesn’t it? All our metrics are plummeting and King Walz is still twisting his dials.

        Do we even have fancy cocktail parties here in Minnesoda? Is this judge worried he won’t get to take his turn taking a slug off the peppermint schnapps as it is passed around the ice when all the Minnesoda elite are out fishing?

    • leon

      I was watching those clips and thought: wow that’s a pretty big operation.

      Then i realized that i’m far to used to the liquor stores being run by the state.

    • Not Adahn

      She must give fantastic head.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Her personal motto:

        Frankly, my beer, I don’t give a damn.

  42. Rebel Scum

    Olberman is still unhinged.

    THEY WERE PLOTTING A COUP. It doesn’t matter what Trump rejected or embraced. Last night he, Flynn, Giuliani, and Powell met in the Oval Office to plot a military coup against our government.

    There is no choice: the POTUS-Elect must warn the conspirators they will be prosecuted

    I’d argue that the coup was the stolen presidential election.

    • PieInTheSky

      I’d say run him out of DC on a rail tarred and feathered

    • creech

      How could they be plotting a coup? Wasn’t R.E. Lee removed from the Capitol? Coup couldn’t last five minutes without Marse Robert.

    • Chipwooder

      Olbermann is one step away from wearing a sandwich board on a street corner and screaming his head off.

      • FESTUS IS AN ESSENTIAL WORKER! KNEEL BEFORE FESTUS!

        Olbermann is past that point. They probably have to follow him around with a pooper scooper and wet wipes at this juncture.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        He pretends to be unhinged and he makes money telling morons what they want to hear. I find it hard to believe he’s buying what he’s selling.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        In a just world that is what would happen. Instead he’ll probably get another big media contract.

  43. Tundra

    Good morning, Sloop.

    Kirk Maltby was a terrific player on a fantastic line on an amazing teams. I was envious of Detroit in those days.

    Reading the various stories about the stimulus bullshit is both enraging and hopeful. Does this mean the repubs are no longer driving the speed limit and we can just drive the fuck off the cliff, already? Because this looks really bad.

    Unaccountable monopolists in the legal initiation of violence. What could go wrong? I’m starting to think that it is time to start over.

    Perfect song for a gloomy morning. This rude boy could use a brew for breakfast.

    Have a great day, people!

  44. PieInTheSky

    19th century bios are insane—mfs graduated from Harvard Law at age 16, advanced fundamental physics and published shit poetry about “the Teutons” on the side, came home from WWI and were tasked w electrifying the Hudson Valley, had 9 kids and dropped acid w psychoanalyst wife

    https://twitter.com/wilks_isaac/status/1341226085908967424

  45. The Late P Brooks

    With such electronic auto-darkening helmets, the welder no longer has to get ready to weld and then nod their head to lower the helmet over their face. The advantage is that the welder does not need to adjust the position of welding helmet manually which not only saves time but also reduces the risk of exposure to the harmful light generated by the welding process.

    That’s all well and good when you’re welding on a table, with nothing between you and the arc. However, if you’re welding a tube frame structure, and there are tubes between the arc and the helmet, there is a real possibility that one of those tubes will cast a shadow on the sensor, and the shield will turn itself off, while you are focused intently on the arc.

    Ask me how I know.

    • leon

      Ow. Ow. Ow.

    • Tres Cool

      Fine. “How do you know?”

    • Pope Jimbo

      Are you saying “it is all weld and good until someone loses a finger”?

      • sloopyinca

        All’s weld that ends weld.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Better!

      • WTF

        Joy to the weld…

  46. Rebel Scum

    Word.

    @RandPaul just went SCORCHED EARTH from the Senate floor over the COVID-19 stimulus that will give Americans $600 checks after 8 months of nothing.

    • Juvenile Bluster

      I don’t get Rand. Sometimes he’s still libertarian-ish and sometimes he’s the most mainstream modern Republican there is.

      • WTF

        I think it’s a case of picking your fights.

      • mrfamous

        My observation on Rand is that if you look _only_ at the way he votes, he’s almost a carbon copy of his Dad. Now sometimes the things he _says_ sound far more mainstream Republican. I suspect he’s playing politics there, which his dad very rarely did (probably because those rare times when he did, were the times he got into the most trouble).

        If Rand Paul isn’t a good enough libertarian for someone (which he apparently isn’t at TOS), then I do wonder whom exactly it is they’re waiting for.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        They’re waiting for LP Jesus, who will campaign naked while smoking a joint and setting fire to the Fed.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Just right of center between wall blocks.

      Looks more like a copperhead.

      Grew up in the Virginia marshes, it’s a natural ability.

      • Chipwooder

        Yep. We had a creek in our backyard. Spotting copperheads and cottonmouths was just part of growing up.

    • EvilSheldon

      No. I spotted the venomous juvenile Copperhead though.

    • leon

      This is why living in the desert where all the venomous snakes rattle at you is a good idea.

      • Pope Jimbo

        An even better idea is to live in Minnesoda where the weather keeps riff raff snakes out.

      • Tundra

        ^^This^^

    • Not Adahn

      I had a cottonmouth living under my porch in Bryan. Never able to kill it.

  47. Rebel Scum

    Just keep backing the blue, conservatives.

    During a special session of the Oregon legislature called by Democrat Gov. Kate Brown, protesters descended on the building to attempt to enter. Several police agencies responded with officers in riot gear, MRAPs, and pepper spray to enforce the governor’s order to close the building due to concerns about the Wuhan CCP coronavirus pandemic. Patriot groups organized a gathering to protest the continued draconian lockdowns across the state, as well as the unconstitutional legislative session that excluded public oversight. …

    Multiple witnesses reported the police force included Oregon State Police, several county sheriff’s deputies, and the Salem Police Bureau. This kind of riot line and equipment deployment seemed to be utterly missing from riots caused by antifa and Black Lives Matter throughout 2020 in multiple cities across Oregon. Yet when the people of Oregon try to exercise their constitutional rights to watch in person as their representatives do the business of the people, however, an army of police came out.

    • Chipwooder

      MRAPs, huh? Funny, those never seem to make it to Portland for the nightly riots.

    • leon

      The cops will back us / Conservatives, as they are being dragged away to the reeducation camps.

      There are plenty of stupid people on the left that can just as easily fill the role of cop.

  48. Certified Public Asshat

    I will vote yes on #covid relief bill for one reason and one reason only: it contains direct assistance to working families. That assistance is not nearly enough, fraction of what it should be. But it is something, & for millions of working Americans, it’s help desperately needed— Josh Hawley (@HawleyMO) December 22, 2020

    One reason only, despite the many reasons to vote no.

    • Rebel Scum

      it contains direct assistance to working families

      If you can call it that. It also has everything else, most of which is bad.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Why do I suspect that Josh Hawley might not be telling the truth, the whole truth and only the truth?

      He didn’t get anything from his favorite lobbyists to put some bit of pork into that monstrosity? That level of laziness seems pretty unbelievable.

      • juris imprudent

        From the zblog link yesterday: “We live in the age of gesture politics, which means showing you care is all that matters.”

      • KOVIDKristen

        The first time I heard the word “gesture politics” was from an historian talking about the Boston Tea Party. That’s an actual gesture. Tweeting is…not.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I knew Davy Crockett, and you sir no Davy Crockett!

        Mr. Speaker — I have as much respect for the memory of the deceased, and as much sympathy for the suffering of the living, if suffering there be, as any man in this House, but we must not permit our respect for the dead or our sympathy for a part of the living to lead us into an act of injustice to the balance of the living.

        “I will not go into an argument to prove that Congress has no power to appropriate this money as an act of charity. Every member upon this floor knows it. We have the right, as individuals, to give away as much of our own money as we please in charity; but as members of Congress we have no right to so appropriate a dollar of the public money.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I’m assuming that us libertarians will have to clean the shitters.

      • leon

        No, we get to provide work for the Undertakers.

    • Drake

      My job will be digging holes and burying useless people like this after they are shot.

    • Brett L

      Fertilizing some 6′ x 2′ plot.

      • juris imprudent

        Look at the radical individualist here! You’ll get a collective grave and you’ll be thankful for it.

      • pan fried wylie

        He’ll be sharing that 6×2 plot with a the rest of us.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Ashes take up less space.

      • pan fried wylie

        Ashes would be a more immediately available fertilizer as well.

      • Not Adahn

        But requires more energy.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Solar furnaces are the way of the future.

      • pan fried wylie

        Reduces nitrogen content and stymies carbon sequestration too. Important considerations for our new overlords.

      • Not Adahn

        Solar furnaces are the way of the future.

        And if you built the cmapls in the desert, not only would your sollar energy be easier to collect, you could take advantage of ambient conditions to dessicate the logs!. You’d need some sort of rack system aliogned with the prevailing winds to maximize efficiency.

      • juris imprudent

        6×2 and 100 feet deep?

      • pan fried wylie

        Part dimensions joke, part sardines joke, part Tupla joke.

    • R C Dean

      Grain slave?

      • juris imprudent

        That’s the winner there.

  49. The Late P Brooks

    A plague of disinformation

    The widespread embrace of conspiracy and disinformation amounts to a “mass radicalization” of Americans, and increases the risk of right-wing violence, veteran security officials and terrorism researchers warn.

    At conferences, in op-eds and at agency meetings, domestic terrorism analysts are raising concern about the security implications of millions of conservatives buying into baseless right-wing claims. They say the line between mainstream and fringe is vanishing, with conspiracy-minded Republicans now marching alongside armed extremists at rallies across the country. Disparate factions on the right are coalescing into one side, analysts say, self-proclaimed “real Americans” who are cocooned in their own news outlets, their own social media networks and, ultimately, their own “truth.”

    “This tent that used to be sort of ‘far-right extremists’ has gotten a lot broader. To me, a former counterterrorism official, that’s a radicalization process,” said Mary McCord, a former federal prosecutor who oversaw terrorism cases and who’s now a law professor at Georgetown University.

    McCord was speaking at a recent online conference, Millions of Conversations, an organization aimed at reducing polarization. Along with McCord, several other former officials who served in senior national security roles said the mass embrace of bogus information poses a serious national security concern for the incoming Biden administration.

    Anybody who contradicts the beltway establishmentarian consensus is a white supremacist and a terrorist.

    • Raven Nation

      “An organization aimed at reducing polarization.”

      Labeling everyone who disagrees with you an extremist seems a good start on accomplishing that goal.

      • Tres Cool

        You know who else wanted to reduce polarization ?

      • pan fried wylie

        RayBan?

    • leon

      The widespread embrace of conspiracy and disinformation amounts to a “mass radicalization” of Americans, and increases the risk of right-wing violence, veteran security officials and terrorism researchers warn.

      embrace of conspiracy = “Doesn’t believe everything the media says”
      mass radicalization = “people seeing the system is corrupt”
      increase risk of right-wing violence = “the Right wing might protest, and may even win elections”

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Ah, NPR, the same people who spent four years spouting unfounded Russia Russia Russia conspiracy horseshit.

    • Chipwooder

      “Pay no attention to the rioting behind the curtain!”

    • Rebel Scum

      risk of right-wing violence

      Always risked from the right but coming from the left.

      security implications of millions of conservatives buying into baseless right-wing claims.

      Perhaps dismissal and tyranny is driving people to the edge. If only there was some way to fix that.

  50. Pope Jimbo

    I’m not sure how much I trust this story about a surge in deaths in 2020. They claim that there were about 400K more deaths in the US than in 2019.

    This should be a pretty easy factual story to write. My problem is in how some of the story is spun. For example:

    Suicide deaths dropped in 2019 compared with 2018, but early information suggests they have not continued to drop this year, Anderson and others said.

    That is one way to say that there are a lot more suicides in 2020 than in previous years. I’ve seen other stories saying suicides are way up this year.

    Their own reporting says that there will be 400K more deaths, but there are only 300K Rona deaths, so maybe someone should ask about how preventable those other 100K were?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I personally know of at least one suicide, a twelve year old in the neighborhood.

    • Not Adahn

      The reported numbers never agree when you do the math. The one I was harping on last time was 300k deaths / 0.0011 IFR = 272M infections /330M people = 82% of all Americans have already caught Covid-19.

  51. Certified Public Asshat

    What am I missing here?

    Reminder: The House has a rule to give everyone 72 hours to read the bills. Every Democrat in the House voted to suspend that rule and that’s why we’re voting on a 5500+ page bill tonight with less than 8 hours to read it.— Thomas Massie (@RepThomasMassie) December 21, 2020

    https://twitter.com/TulsiGabbard/status/1341240212773621762

    https://twitter.com/IlhanMN/status/1341236983830614016

    https://clerk.house.gov/evs/2020/roll248.xml#NV

  52. Rebel Scum

    “I’m from the government and I’m here to help.”

    I applaud this relief package, but our work is far from over. Starting in the new year, Congress will need to immediately get to work on support for our COVID-19 plan.

    My message to everyone out there struggling right now: help is on the way.

    Which, I assume, means more spending of money that does not exist to fund things the government has no business funding.

    • leon

      My message to everyone out there struggling right now: help is on the way.

      Which itself is should be infuriating. “Oh Help is fucking on the way” You fucking passed 2.5 trillion dollars and where the fuck is the “help” joe? Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck Congress. Fuck the “Right wing extremism” concern trolling while ignoring people’s businesses being burned down by your thugs joe. Fuck you and fuck your family. fuck you and fuck the city of DC. Fuck you and Fuck the Governors. You can fucking give money to the fucking fuckers in fucking far off fuckland, but you can’t seem to cough up more than 600 bucks for the people you have been telling “get fucked” for the last 40 years?. Fuck You.

      • See Double You

        Thank you. This times a trillion.

  53. CPRM

    I love Rand Paul. I did the math once, and at that point in mid ots you’d have to spend something like 1 million a second since man first started civilization to reach the debt we had even then.

    BTW, NEW CARTOON submitted! Merry Christmas, you fuckers.

    • CPRM

      PS: Hat fans will LOVE this cartoon…No spoilers sweetie!

  54. The Late P Brooks

    While it’s impossible to pin down the scope of such beliefs, analysts say, the numbers are staggering if even a fraction of President Trump’s more than 74 million voters support bogus claims that say, for example, the election was rigged, the coronavirus is a hoax, and liberals are hatching a socialist takeover.

    ——-

    At the online conference, participants characterized the shift as a mass radicalization. Neumann said the issue keeps her up at night worrying about where the country is heading. She talked about family members who’ve gone down the right-wing rabbit hole of disinformation. She said conversations with them require patience and negotiation, such as laying out her conditions for coronavirus safety protocols at family gatherings.

    Neumann said it’s hard to imagine what it would take to replicate those tough conversations on a national scale, given the power and reach of conservative media.

    “I am wrestling with: How do I help people that have, unbeknownst to them, they’ve become radicalized in their thought? They hold views they didn’t hold 10 years ago because all they listen to is that conservative infotainment,” Neumann said. “Unless we help them break the deception, we cannot operate with 30% of the country holding the extreme views that they do.”

    We’re going to need economies of scale. We will have to build temporary communal educational facilities to house these poor deluded victims of conservative brainwashing until they can be re-educated. What should we call them?

    • Chipwooder

      “They hold views they didn’t hold 10 years ago”???? Tell me then, Miss Neumann – how many genders are there?

      • Pope Jimbo

        Gay marriage: Good or Bad?

        bonus points for correctly identifying Obama’s 2010 answer to that question.

    • Rebel Scum

      How do I help people that have, unbeknownst to them, they’ve become radicalized in their thought?

      It can be difficult to red pill those propagandized by the msm.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      “the election was rigged, the coronavirus is a hoax, and liberals are hatching a socialist takeover.”

      They certainly didn’t miss any days in Strawmanning 101.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Clockwork Orange Man Bad?

    • leon

      Unless we help them break the deception, we cannot operate with 30% of the country holding the extreme views that they do.”

      All this concern trolling is just going to be used as a pretense for breaking up conservative families, outlawing homeschooling and any other tyrannical policy to try to force unity of mind.

    • juris imprudent

      …given the power and reach of conservative media.

      WTF is that? Name some names bitch.

      • Not Adahn

        Sean Hannity. Rush Limbaugh. Fox News. The people who run America, donchaknow?

      • juris imprudent

        That of course is why they can’t be named, because it is laughable to talk about their power and reach.

    • CPRM

      She talked about family members who’ve gone down the right-wing rabbit hole of disinformation.

      To this, I can relate, at our family Christmas my mom, her boyfriend and my brother-in-law were talking about how The Virus is a left wing plot to keep abortions legal, because the vaccine needs some kind of baby cells, and Biden already got the the vaccine months ago, that’s why he never got it. Not that he was hiding in a basement for months on end, but because it’s a conspiracy to kill babies! I can’t even.

      • leon

        And then they will say that talking about Swallwell dating a chineese spy, and Hunter Biden’s laptop having a large amount of evidence of corruption by the bidens is the same level of conspiracy thinking.

      • The Last American Hero

        When MSM becomes Orwellian, people go to outside sources for news. Some of those sources often contain actual new not fit to print in the MSM, like articles challenging the effectiveness of the lockdowns, but they are also comingled with batshit crazy stuff.

        The media turning into Team Blue Authoritarian Lapdog is going to lead to a lot of people buying into the crazy.

      • juris imprudent

        Is that Alex Jones level crazy, or some whole other level?

      • CPRM

        It’s worse, it’s Q-Anon crazy. Alex Jones has always been a clown, these people take this crazy serious. It’s fucking scary.

    • R C Dean

      “I am wrestling with: How do I help people that have, unbeknownst to them, they’ve become radicalized in their thought? They hold views they didn’t hold 10 years ago because all they listen to is that conservative infotainment,” Neumann said. “Unless we help them break the deception, we cannot operate with 30% of the country holding the extreme views that they do.”

      Something something progjection something.

      • The Last American Hero

        They are fucking nazi deplorables, why would you want to work with them?

      • juris imprudent

        Soviet era psychology – only the insane would reject Marx-Lenin.

    • EvilSheldon

      “She said conversations with them require patience and negotiation, such as laying out her conditions for coronavirus safety protocols at family gatherings.”

      You are massively overestimating the value of a ‘conversation’ with you.

      • R C Dean

        “conversations . . . laying out her conditions”

        Among the casualties in the War Against Meaning is what a “conversation” is, as opposed to a hectoring lecture.

      • juris imprudent

        a hectoring lecture

        Preaching – that’s the term they really want to avoid despite how damned applicable it is.

      • EvilSheldon

        It’s especially ironic, coming from a class of people generally afraid of catching the Christian Cooties if they accidentally step into a church…

    • Akira

      the election was rigged,

      There’s evidence of this that has been released, and they just want an investigation. Remember when the Left said that Trump should welcome the Russia investigation if he knows he’s innocent?

      the coronavirus is a hoax

      Most people are not saying that the virus itself is a hoax – most of them are saying that it’s not as deadly as the corporate media makes it out to be, or that the government is not justified in putting our rights through the shredder.

      liberals are hatching a socialist takeover.

      There are numerous people in the Democrat Party who openly call themselves socialist.

      • R C Dean

        *insert gif here*

    • kbolino

      When anyone who points out that GamerGate was about a games “journalist” who was sleeping with the creator of the “game” he was promoting is called a misogynist white supremacist colonizer,

      When people can be fired for holding views in private, like Brendan Eich was, or for voicing their views in a discussion that was invited by their company, like James Damore was,

      When a meme about how certain people on social media tend to act like non-playable characters from video games can be aggressively stamped out while “Russian bot” gets thrown around like it’s going out of style,

      When a campaign to spread fear, uncertainty, and doubt about a Presidential candidate and later President is continuously tolerated, but any similar attempt in the opposite direction results in prominent disclaimers, demonetization, shadow-banning, and/or removal,

      When a person’s ability to speak their mind is made entirely contingent upon their ability to recite the popular catechism du jour on command, and any refusal to do so is met with widely encouraged harassment,

      When in general people are only entitled to being considered human on the Internet if they are politically palatable,

      You cannot then turn around and complain that the people you are intentionally and willfully driving out of the public sphere no longer wish to hear what you have to say.

  55. The Late P Brooks

    On the conference call, the analysts agreed that the leftist fringe also is hardening and promoting its own conspiracies. But they said there’s simply no equivalency with the right in terms of the volume of disinformation and conspiracy, or in its connections to violent acts.

    It’s obvious who the REAL terrorists are.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      They’ve been burning down cities recently. That counts doesn’t it?

    • Rebel Scum

      *sweeps Antifa and BLM under the rug*

      • leon

        Antifa is just a right wing conpsiracy. See you’ve alreayd been radicalized. All the Looting you saw was done by white nationalists, tyring to make black lives matter look bad.

    • R C Dean

      But they said there’s simply no equivalency with the right in terms of the volume of disinformation and conspiracy, or in its connections to violent acts.

      I’d say that we have a pandemic of confirmation bias, at least.

  56. PieInTheSky

    MPORTANT THREAD
    Thread
    Down pointing backhand index

    Many people scoff at my progressive ideas and predictions.

    But eventually, they *always* come true.

    So I thought I’d start compiling a list of every time I was ahead of the curve…

    https://twitter.com/TitaniaMcGrath/status/1339977972401516546

  57. Mojeaux

    So we are pissy about a mere $600 and we are pissy that the bill contains so much pork and we are pissy that it contains so much pork AND YET we only get $600.

    And so. What can we do about that?

    • PieInTheSky

      I don;t even get the 600

      • Mojeaux

        That’s your fault for being born in the not greatest country in the world. /s

      • pan fried wylie

        Probably incorrect.

      • R C Dean

        Me neither. I pay enough taxes to support my very own personal federal bureaucrat, too.

        This is not a return of taxes, because the people who pay the most taxes don’t get to wet their beaks.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        I wouldn’t be so sure about that. There’s lots of money going overseas in that bill.

    • Not Adahn

      Fuck you cut spending?

      • Mojeaux

        Bzzzzzt, wrong,

        What power do YOU have to do that?

      • Not Adahn

        …the power of Heart?

      • Tres Cool

        Best Heart ever.

        Fight me. But I could call “Barracuda” a draw, just for the guitar.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Stop voting in the same asshats but as we all know, its not MY representative that is the problem.

      • Mojeaux

        By the time voting comes around, this will have been forgotten. We still vote the lesser of two weevils.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I would say don’t play the game but its hard to dodge a bullet when the barrel is so close to our heads.

    • pan fried wylie

      The food is terrible, and the portions are so small?

  58. The Late P Brooks

    The online conference wrapped up the way many such discussions do: without a clear solution, at least in the near-term. The same what-do-we-do conversations are happening in political circles, among researchers and at tech companies.

    Meedz moar grant munnies.

  59. Certified Public Asshat

    What am I missing here?

    Reminder: The House has a rule to give everyone 72 hours to read the bills. Every Democrat in the House voted to suspend that rule and that’s why we’re voting on a 5500+ page bill tonight with less than 8 hours to read it.— Thomas Massie (@RepThomasMassie) December 21, 2020

  60. Ownbestenemy

    I was chit chatting with a neighbor and I was laying down that Trump all the way down the line to our founding, were boorish, mean, spiteful, disparaging people who occupied the White House. I added that will now include Biden.

    Oh man did I strike a nerve. He started clamoring thats just “facebook” stuff! Showed him all the CNN, MSNBC links from dog-faced liar to you aint black.

    This guy who seemed like he was engaged in following news, had no idea Biden said those things.

    We have one hell of a propaganda machine in this country.

    • leon

      I’m begining to think that when the left talks about “Fake news” being shared on social media, what they mean is that anytime they see something disparaging about their perfered candidate, they assume it must be a lie from far right wing.

      • Akira

        And of course, the most blatant lies from the Left are allowed to stand on social media.

    • juris imprudent

      Bet you he was up on all the latest about either Kardashians or his favorite sports team(s).

      • Ownbestenemy

        Bread and a whole lot of circus

      • Plisade

        Maybe bread, but definitely yeast.

  61. The Late P Brooks

    Once upon a time, people were pretty much allowed to believe crazy shit, like “FDR was the greatest President in the history of Presidents” or “Giving the women the vote will be the downfall of this nation.”

    You shook your head, chuckled, and went on your way. Now, we’re on the precipice of doom. it’s a nonstop end-of-the-world melodrama. “Radical polarisation is destroying democracy! If we allow people to hold conflicting ideas, there will be blood in the streets, and it might be the wrong blood (ours)!”

    • Plisade

      A thought just occurred… I wonder if there’s a correlation between the mental ability to multitask (if such a thing can be measured) and political philosophy affiliation. Are the intolerant authoritarian-minded folk incapable of processing 2 inputs at one time, and hence their need to stick to one idea and reject all else? Are freedom-oriented people more capable of processing multiple inputs at one time, and are thus more tolerant of multiple viewpoints?

      • UnCivilServant

        Nope. Multitasking is a physical impossibility.

      • kbolino

        This is a fun conversation starter in mixed-gender company.

        Women will, generally, insist that multitasking exists, and in my experience, say that it’s key to their ability to do their job. Men will, generally, insist that multitasking is impossible, and it’s their ability to focus on one thing at a time that’s key to their ability to do their job.

        The ensuing spousal arguments may or may not be an added bonus.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Multi-tasking just means that you have the capability of being shitty at a bunch of things at once.

      • Mojeaux

        Women will, generally, insist that multitasking exists, and in my experience, say that it’s key to their ability to do their job.

        *kids
        *housework

        Add in home schooling and/or a job.

        It’s a forced circumstance and acquired skill. Those who “can’t” do it (like me) just feel lost, alone, and incompetent most of the time.

      • kbolino

        For what it’s worth, though obviously as a man I have a bias, I think the difference between what you are doing now and “successful multitasking” is just confidence. Don’t let the doubts swamp the accomplishments, and don’t downplay “minor” accomplishments just because you are also capable of “bigger things”.

      • Not Adahn

        Every short-order cook, chef du cuisine, and lab technician laughs at you.

      • UnCivilServant

        They’re not multitasking, they’re serial monotasking.

      • pan fried wylie

        Task queueing.

        The egg kinda cooks itself. I just have to flip it and take it off the heat at the appropriate times.

      • R C Dean

        the mental ability to multitask

        From what I can tell, what people call “multi-tasking” is mostly doing one thing (partially) after another in more or less rapid sequence, with a loss of quality and efficiency.

      • R C Dean

        Clicked too soon. The notion that multi-tasking is some kind of key to hyperproductivity is just a bad joke.

      • Akira

        Multitasking (noun): What a bad manager tells people to do when they’ve refused to shell out for adequate staffing and given each employee more work than any human can possibly do

      • Mojeaux

        between the mental ability to multitask (if such a thing can be measured) and political philosophy affiliation

        I’m not going to say “Well, *I* can’t multitask but I’m here” because I’m a minority of one.

        However, in my travels around the job-o-sphere MOST multitasking is a myth. I think it exists, but that it is a very limited skillset. MOST people just screw up more things at once. I’m probably better at it than I think I am, but it’s not a comfortable position to be in and I was not good at hiding my screw-up-ed-ness and/or inability to do it.

        I work for myself with tasks that allow me to do one thing at a time and immerse myself in that thing. I can turn off my email and Leechblock my internet sites. I canNOT turn off my kids and their needs.

    • Plisade

      Perhaps multitasking is the wrong term… I don’t know what this is called… Some people, when faced with making a decision, will make one decision when considering one input, and another opposing decision when considering a different input. They are incapable of considering both inputs at the same time and making only one decision.

  62. The Other Kevin

    Wow people I know are pissed about that stimulus bill. The simple math of how much they’re spending vs how much each person gets has gone viral.

    • Mojeaux

      My FB friends, whom I thought it was safe to follow again, are blaming it all on Republicans. NO Democrat is to be blamed at all. Not one. Nosirreebob.

      • leon

        They all voted for it (bar 2) but yes it is none of their doing. They were just voting for it to get the $600 to everyone.

    • Akira

      I mean it’s completely valid to be angry… I mean it should have been “number of eligible people x amount of money for each check” and that’s it.

      It should be a wake-up call to the rampant cronyism, but unfortunately most people will direct that anger at “big business” and go for some downright awful solutions that just involve more government power.

      It’s like if you hired a security guard for your house, but it kept getting burglarized. Then you find out that it was the guard who was letting the burglars in and giving them tips on where the valuables are. It makes sense to be angry at the burglars, but it doesn’t make sense to give your guard a bigger gun and better security cameras and wag your finger at him saying, “Now you make sure these burglars don’t get in anymore!”

  63. The Late P Brooks

    My message to everyone out there struggling right now: help is on the way.

    My reply:

    STOP

    HELPING.

    Get the fuck out of the road.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Exactly what I assumed.

      • pan fried wylie

        The earworm was encoded in Brook’s comment, I just materialized the link.

  64. Ownbestenemy

    Here is another conversation from same neighbor.

    Him: I dont know why some republicans are opposed to states getting money on this bill, it has been a rough year!

    Me: This spending spree and over commitment didn’t start this year and why do all the other 49 states get to foot their bad governance?

    Him: RONA! Is responsible.

    I left at that point. Goebbles is sad he was born in the wrong time period.

    • R C Dean

      some republicans are opposed to states getting money on this bill,

      States can raise their own taxes, issue their own bonds, and cut their own spending. There is nothing in their “fiscal crisis” that is beyond their power to solve.

      My proposal: any state that requires a federal bailout has lost the ability to govern itself, and should be reduced to a territory until such time as it can govern itself again. No representation in Congress. No state legislature or governor. No state administrative agencies. Current state government . . . gone.

      Downside: this puts the feds in control. Perhaps, forever. But how different is that, really, from the way things are now?

      • pan fried wylie

        States can … cut their own spending.

        [Citation Needed]

      • robc

        Hey, it worked for the South and reconstruction.

      • kbolino

        Judging by the state of the state, I think the rest of Georgia might not be so angry with Sherman anymore, or at least they wouldn’t mind so much if someone replicated his March to the Sea in the present day.

    • wdalasio

      Goebbles is sad he was born in the wrong time period.

      Yeah, pretty much. The current propaganda machine really could have taught him a thing or two. Propagandists in his day labored under the delusion that they had to perpetually get people to believe lies. It’s become pretty obvious that all you really need to do is get them to accept an obvious lie once or twice and you pretty much can get them to accept anything.

  65. Brett L

    On the good news front, our neighbor threw a Christmas party last night, mostly aimed at the kids. There were… maybe a dozen kids and 5 sets of parents. Santa showed up for a visit. All 17-18 of us were in a normal house not wearing masks. It was really… normal. Also, my abysmal social skills have atrophied. Luckily, I wore the baby, so I always had a reason to be walking around and distracted.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Awesome!

    • FESTUS IS AN ESSENTIAL WORKER! KNEEL BEFORE FESTUS!

      Impressive! “The wearing of the Baby, even a borrowed one is the most effective chick-magnet known to God or Man!” Better than a a puppy!

      • R C Dean

        Better than a a puppy!

        Could be. I’ve never tried the baby.

        I can tell you this, though: fuzzy little Newf puppies are the most astounding chick magnet I have ever seen. I would have women cross the street to coo over mine. The window closes quickly though, due to the immediate onset of immensity.

      • Ownbestenemy

        While in acting you should never work with dogs or babies.

        In the real world it invokes that primal instinct with either.

        With a dog you are a hunter, provider, protector.

        With a baby you are compassionate, guardian, guide

        Its early, more coffee for my holiday work week needed.

      • leon

        I have become more and more despisatory towards dogs, seeing as my neighbors feel like it is completely fine to let their dogs run free and chase after my kids.

        One of these days the dog is going to go missing, never to be seen again.

        There is a park nearby where i go running. Lady is walking her dog, unleashed as i approach. So now I have to slow down to a jog because i don’t know your dog, and every fucking dog around here chases after anything that moves faster than a walk. Does the lady stop to hold down her dog? No. Does the dog chase after me? Fucking yes. Does she do anything? No.

        I was very close to giving her the what for about what a bitch she was.

      • Tres Cool

        “One of these days the dog is going to go missing, never to be seen again.”

        Cut the (likely untrained) doge a break. It’s just doing what dogs do. Much more humane to make the neighbors disappear.

      • Tres Cool

        That could be the worst haiku ever.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Thank you!

      • kbolino

        Ultimate nerd moment:

        I am playing Ghost of Tsushima on the PS4. It’s a good game. It was developed by a Western company and the “native” language is English, even though the game is set in Japan. But, you can turn on Japanese voices instead (which, personally, I think are more distinct than the English voices). You can even set it to Kurosawa Mode which makes it black and white with a film grain effect.

        Anyway, one of the game elements is composing haiku. A haiku, as anyone who went to middle school in the multicultural 90s can likely attest, is composed of 5-7-5 syllables. The English version has this right. But, apparently, they didn’t tell the translator that it was supposed to be haiku. So the spoken Japanese form of the haiku is very obviously not a haiku, with each line having a random number of syllables.

        This doesn’t quite break my immersion in the game but now I can’t stop noticing it.

      • UnCivilServant

        fukkin Haiku, worst form of poetry ever.

      • pan fried wylie

        Haiku, best form of (non-musical) poetry: gets it over with in least amount of words

      • FESTUS IS AN ESSENTIAL WORKER! KNEEL BEFORE FESTUS!

        I like Obe. He’s a solid feller.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Thank you my canadian Sam Elliot.

      • FESTUS IS AN ESSENTIAL WORKER! KNEEL BEFORE FESTUS!

        I swear it sounds like a roost of pigeons growing ever closer and louder. You just want to shield the baby’s head and start running. The worst part is when they corner you and start measuring you for Fatherhood. “That Baby looks so good on you! When are you going to settle down? You like babbies? Me lark babbies tooo!”

      • Ownbestenemy

        Lol…That is about right. My oldest was a picture perfect precisous moments child. Big honey colored eyes and a toe head. Couple that kid while in my military uniform it was overwhelming.

        The most egregious offenders were the church ladies and officers’ wives

    • FESTUS IS AN ESSENTIAL WORKER! KNEEL BEFORE FESTUS!

      More seriously Brett, I’m really happy for you and yours. Merry fucking Xmas, Friend!

    • Tundra

      Nice.

    • Tres Cool

      Way to go. You’ll all be dead by MLK day, and the kids will have to raise themselves.

      • R C Dean

        Raise themselves? What, you can’t use more orphans?

      • Tres Cool

        Not if all the ‘grups die from teh ‘vid

        Dont you even Star Trek brah ?

      • pan fried wylie

        *Tres bonk-bonks RC with that smelly black fisting dildo*

      • FESTUS IS AN ESSENTIAL WORKER! KNEEL BEFORE FESTUS!

        That’s funny!

  66. The Late P Brooks

    WaPo headline:

    “Stimulus Deal Includes Raft of Provisions to Fight Climate Change”

    Congress demonstrates their laser-like focus on that which is truly important. Biden is already healing the nation.

    • leon

      It’s funny. This bill provides a microcosm of how American poltics works, and even provides support that it’s the Media that wags the DNC not the other way around. i’ve seen (unfortunately) from time to time, in the last few weeks, articles, news reports etc. Haranguing congress to “Get something done” by the Media. There needs to be a bailout. Now that it has been passed they are trying to praise it, whilst many “regular” people are pissed about being taken, again, by being given a mere $600 and then being expected to pay for goatfuckistans gender equality programs.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Southen pointed it out…$600 to put down your pitchforks and torches for a bit.

      • pan fried wylie

        $600 would buy a mighty fine pitchfork.

      • FESTUS IS AN ESSENTIAL WORKER! KNEEL BEFORE FESTUS!

        $600 would buy about 20 pitchforks and we can make our own torches in a pinch.

    • kbolino

      The corporate press will do its dutiful best to make this pill easier to swallow. There’s probably some graft in there for corporate journalists.

  67. Rebel Scum

    Oi mate. You got a loicense fuh dat intehview?

    London Assembly Member David Kurten was questioned by police while giving an interview to Breitbart News, in which he characterised Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s response to the coronavirus as fascistic.

    During an anti-lockdown protest on Saturday, London mayoral candidate David Kurten told Breitbart London that “riot” police came in to bust up a group of people surrounding him for supposedly breaching the city’s lockdown rules.

    Mr Kurten warned that the increasingly draconian lockdown restrictions on assembly and speech are a warning that the United Kingdom is heading towards fascism.

    • leon

      Heading? When do we get to say that it’s there already?

    • leon

      “I urge you now also to remedy the harm done to the balance of powers by submitting the Iran Deal and the Paris Agreement to the Senate as treaties,”

      Sure, OR what the senate could actually do is, you know just vote on them of their own accord. The reason why congress keeps loosing power to the President is because they act like they are dependent on him. Why do they need the president to “submit” the treaty. If the President has said he want’s to abide by some agreement, then supeona it and then vote on it.

      • FESTUS IS AN ESSENTIAL WORKER! KNEEL BEFORE FESTUS!

        Pens and phones or some other unconstitutional bullshit. The Holy Writ.

  68. The Late P Brooks

    You know who else wanted to reduce polarization ?

    Tesla?

    • pan fried wylie

      oh, dammit, are we doing this down here instead?

      RayBan?

    • Chipwooder

      Roald Amundsen?

  69. Tres Cool

    The Other Kevin on December 22, 2020
    at 9:30 am
    Wow people I know are pissed about that stimulus bill. The simple math of how much they’re spending vs how much each person gets has gone viral.

    But I cant help but think that nearly every pol in DC is reading that (or having it read to them) and thinking, “aw….fuck ’em”

    • Ownbestenemy

      Strike the “read” part and straight to the fuck em part and its golden.

  70. R C Dean

    So, I stayed late last night, and paired up with the house supervisor to walk the hospital for the night shift. We visited every unit. Takeaways:

    Boy, was I wrong that the second wave wasn’t going to be as bad as the first. We have more ‘Vid patients in house now than we did in July, when AZ was a global hotspot, by a lot. By 9:30, we were flat at capacity. The ‘Vid units were all full, as in every bed. We had 16 ‘Vid patients stranded in the ED, and nobody was taking transfers. The ICUs are essentially reserved for ventilator patients. We opened a new ‘Vid unit this morning, and it immediately filled up, mostly with people who spent the night in the ED. Nursing ratios are absurd, as high as one nurse for seven patients. We have a record number of nurses out with the ‘Vid (almost all community-acquired). We also managed to knock a hole in our nursing coverage by vaccinating so many within a few days (as I feared) – a number of them were out with reactions to the (Pfizer) vaccine.

    I asked the house supe if she had taken the vaccine. She said “No, I already had COVID”.

    It is fucking uncomfortable to wear an N95 for several hours, especially while exerting in the slightest.

    Having observed a restrained patient (he was violent in the ED for unknown reasons, so he got strapped down) get intubated, I need to update my living will/power of attorney to specify I want a DNI (“Do Not Intubate”).

    The nurse in charge of our ED for the night shift is hilariously funny , if you like black humor.

    • pan fried wylie

      if you like black humor.

      “WHITE PEOPLE DANCE LIKE THIS” *hinky motions*

      oh, “dark humor”, I’ll see myself out.

    • Mojeaux

      Thanks for this. I largely lean on your perspective when thinking about/discussing COVID.

      The nurse in charge of our ED for the night shift is hilariously funny , if you like black humor.

      I had a playwriting class with a bunch of healthcare workers (yeah, right?) and their humor was all gallows all the time. They said it was the only way they could make it through their jobs.

      • Ownbestenemy

        ^^This ..too both points.

        RC quick question are those being hospitalized at the point where they need to be or can any of them go home?

        I was curious at what level of symptoms does a hospital recommend staying.

      • pan fried wylie

        Pretty sure hospitals always recommend staying. If you have insurance, I mean.

      • R C Dean

        All insurance pays us the same regardless of how long you are in the hospital. We get a flat payment based on discharge diagnosis. The incentive is strongly toward early discharge; the longer you stay, the more your cost to us catches up to and exceeds our payment.

        Fun fact: while we get a 20% premium for ‘Vid patients, they stay in the hospital around 50% longer than our average patient, so on average we lose money on them despite the premium (depending on how you do your accounting – hospital accounting is crazy complex due to our very high fixed and capital costs).

        We don’t admit anybody who doesn’t need to be admitted. If the bill gets bounced for lack of medical necessity, we get paid nothing.

    • R C Dean

      The punchline, of course, which is never acknowledged, is that the second wave is both (a) worse than the first and (b) is happening when masking compliance is very high and a middling business lockdwon is in place.

      Because I am not yet ready to “retire”, I refrain from mentioning this at work.

    • pan fried wylie

      It is fucking uncomfortable to wear an N95 for several hours, especially while exerting in the slightest.

      I have a hard time wearing a mask against severely dangerous dusts when sawing/grinding/sanding…for MINUTES at a time.

      So…yeah. Masking against non-danger all day would be a real non-starter for me.

  71. The Late P Brooks

    One of these days the dog is going to go missing, never to be seen again.

    Dogs that roam don’t come home.

    • Ownbestenemy

      We have to make sure they remain silent for their votes they provided?

    • kbolino

      Let me guess, catch-up payment for the $1200 they were excluded from the first time?

      • FESTUS IS AN ESSENTIAL WORKER! KNEEL BEFORE FESTUS!

        Shoulda been $2400 for the OMB calling them rapists.

  72. The Late P Brooks

    The plague is not a *hoax*.

    However:

    It is neither as contagious nor as deadly as the bill of goods sold to us made it out to be. Treat the sick. Protect the vulnerable. Let the rest of us get on with our lives.

    • kbolino

      The disease is real.

      The novelty, urgency, and severity assigned to it in most Western countries is the “hoax”.

      • mrfamous

        As is the effectiveness of their “mitigation strategies.” The masks, the quarantines, the shutdowns they’ve all clearly and spectacularly failed. And done so at enormous cost to our society.

        I really am pulling for these vaccines. I really do want them to be safe and effective. But I’m not so blind to just automatically assume they will be. We’re in a real mess here.

  73. FESTUS IS AN ESSENTIAL WORKER! KNEEL BEFORE FESTUS!

    For all of my Fa-la-la I’m gonna get the Covid and die, aren’t I? Fuck it, I could get steam-rollered by a logging truck, slip in the shower or fall down a flight of stairs today. I choose to live my life as I see fit. I try to live as a free-ish Man. I hope and pray that the rest of you follow suit. Good day and Godspeed!

    • Akira

      I choose to live my life as I see fit. I try to live as a free-ish Man.

      Who said you could do that?!

  74. The Late P Brooks

    I really am pulling for these vaccines.

    As I see it, the vaccine is the only way the feeble-minded hypochondriacs can extricate themselves from the tomb hey have erected around themselves.

    • Kwihn T. Senshel

      My cynical nature is telling me that the vaccine doesn’t even need to be effective, really… just get enough people to believe it is, and then we can go back to “normal,” because even without an effective vaccine, the death % is miniscule.

      So, the numbers can be spun as good (i.e, death percentage down! hospitalizations down!), which means the vaccine is “working,” right?

      • R C Dean

        Depends on what Our Masters want.

        So far, they want masking (and presumably lockdowns) to continue regardless of the vaccine. The Narrative of the Day is that the vaccine doesn’t provide perfect and instant protection, so we must continue to Sacrifice to Save Lives.

        Eventually, the economic and social wreckage may begin to affect Our Masters, in which case the Narrative will change on a dime.

  75. The Late P Brooks

    So, the numbers can be spun as good (i.e, death percentage down! hospitalizations down!), which means the vaccine is “working,” right?

    Yes. The High Holy SCIENCE Men have wielded their wizardly powers, and driven off the evil spirits.

    Praise be to them. Rejoice.