IFLA: The New Year’s Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of Jan 3

by | Jan 3, 2021 | IFLA | 54 comments

Finally, something actually happening for me to pass along.

Sol – Mercury – Jupiter is a very basic good luck sign, and since they’re radiating at us from over in the Capricorn/Aquarius-ish direction, we get additional influences of rest, relaxation, tranquility, but not so much “day at the spa” as “monastic retreat.”  We’ll get some additional planetary motions of interest later in the week.  On the sixth, Mars finally leaves Aries, but that’s less “good news” and more “different flavor of crap.”  If Mars in Aries is a toddler having a tantrum, Mars in Taurus is a sullen teenager “passively” resisting and doing their best to make you as miserable as they can without technically doing anything.  On the eighth, Capricorn will experience a sudden shifting of gears in kind of the mirror image of the above — good things will go from being exciting/dynamic to stable/harmonious.  Still good though.  That latter effect for non-Capricorns will be a decrease in creativity or manic thinking accompanied by a increase in overall well-being and sociability.  You won’t get in as many sick burns in, but you won’t want to.

Aquarius:  3 of Cups – The conclusion of any matter in plenty, perfection and merriment; happy issue, victory, fulfilment, solace, healing

Pisces:  The Star – Loss, theft, privation, abandonment, hope and bright prospects

Aries:  The High Priestess reversed – Passion, moral or physical ardor, conceit, surface knowledge

Taurus:  2 of Cups reversed – Mourning for  friend, relationships reversed, gift of healing, sacrifice for another

Gemini:  7 of Swords – Design, attempt, wish, hope, confidence, quarrelling, a plan that may fail, annoyance

Cancer:  2 of Wands reversed – Surprise, wonder, enchantment, emotion, trouble, fear.

Leo:  The Fool reversed – Negligence, absence, distribution, carelessness, apathy, nullity, vanity.

Virgo:  4 of Cups reversed – Novelty, presage, new instruction, new relations.

Libra:  Ace of Coins – Perfect contentment, felicity, ecstasy, speedy intelligence, gold

Scorpio:  8 of Swords reversed – Disquiet, difficulty, opposition, accident, treachery

Sagittarius:  Page of Swords reversed – Spies, protected enemies, what is unforeseen, unprepared state, sickness

Capricorn:  Ace of Wands –  Creation, invention, enterprise, principle, beginning, source, birth, family, origin

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

54 Comments

  1. l0b0t

    Sagittarius: Page of Swords reversed – Spies, protected enemies, what is unforeseen, unprepared state, sickness

    That does it. I’m going back to bed.

    • CPRM

      Liar, you haven’t gone to bed in the first place.

    • Chafed

      Pretty sure this means I’m getting Lil ‘Rona.

  2. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: Page of Swords reversed – Spies, protected enemies, what is unforeseen, unprepared state, sickness

    Stay out of dark alleys?

  3. limey

    Libra: Ace of Coins – Perfect contentment, felicity, ecstasy, speedy intelligence, gold

    *side-eyes the horror-scope and narrows gaze*

    • l0b0t

      Mixing ecstasy and speed seems like a quick way to get dangerously dehydrated.

  4. DEG

    Negligence, absence, distribution, carelessness, apathy, nullity, vanity.

    Sounds sufficiently shitty for the week I go back to work.

    • zwak

      At first, I thought the Aquarius was a guy having sex with a dead chick.

      Then I realized I had it backwards.

      • Rebel Scum

        Cowgirl FTW!

  5. CPRM

    Mourning for friend

    HAHA! I don’t have those, astrology is bullshit!

  6. hayeksplosives

    My Capricorn spouse and I usually go out for his upcoming birthday.

    The very nice place where we had reservations just had to cancel thanks to Newsom’s latest (this shutdown is WAY more extreme than what we had up until Thanksgiving).

    I’ve gotta find a place that’s defying the orders but is close enough to be worth the drive…

  7. Yusef drives a Kia

    “Virgo: 4 of Cups reversed – Novelty, presage, new instruction, new relations.”
    So my next job might be fun?

    • CPRM

      Mustangs need to have circular headlamps, just like Corvettes need circular tail lights.

  8. creech

    What says the horrorscopes for the four creeps running for Senate in Georgia?

    • hayeksplosives

      FYTW

  9. Broswater

    Gemini: 7 of Swords – Design, attempt, wish, hope, confidence, quarrelling, a plan that may fail, annoyance

    Well… that may augur bad for The Orange Man’s plans for the 6th.

    On my side, there is a 7 YO that his attempting to build a badly designed fort with the kitchen table I’m at, is full of confidence her plan will work and she is definitively failing and being whiny and annoying about it. Got that part nailed in pretty good!

    Aaaannd the quarrelling part is there now as she got mad at it and went pout in her room.

    You’ve learn it here folks, not only is astrology real but also in real-time!!

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Did someone say Bronco?

    I don’t even know what the point of this would be.

  11. KOVIDKristen

    You’re sayin I’m-a finally get laid this week? Saying that’s unlikely is in the dictionary under Understatement

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      “Saying that’s unlikely is in the dictionary under Understatement”
      Preach it Sister!

    • Cy

      Where there’s a will….

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        There’s a bunch of Kids arguing over Grandma’s China,

    • Tres Cool

      Hey there….how YOU doin’ ?

      /see comment below

  12. Rebel Scum

    The conclusion of any matter in plenty, perfection and merriment; happy issue, victory, fulfillment, solace, healing

    My cooking has been improving.

  13. Tres Cool

    |Virgo: 4 of Cups reversed – Novelty, presage, new instruction, NEW relations.

    Well, Jugsy is gonna be gone. Hell-loo pr0nhub ladies!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I don’t indulge…..
      Have fun for me,
      Tall Cans!

  14. Sean

    Gf made a low carb cheesecake yesterday. I just had a piece. Yummy.

  15. Rebel Scum

    Making our streets a safer place.

    The LA County Sheriff Department’s Superspreader Task Force shut down at least five New Year’s Eve parties across the county, resulting in at least 900 people being detained, 90 arrests and/or citations, and the recovery of at least six guns.

    FOX 11’s cameras were at three of the parties, including Malibu, downtown LA, and Pomona.

    I’m glad all of the thefts/rapes/murders/ have been solved. And Idk how that is 1) “recovery” or 2) relevant.

    • IntraveneousWoodChipper

      That pisses me off so much.

      Police breaking up social gatherings like campus RA’s while actual crime rates soar? What the actual fuck.

      • hayeksplosives

        The important thing is that the boys in blue got home safe.

        Why do you hate heroes?

      • Ted S.

        I don’t hate the partiers.

      • Nephilium

        Local news talked about the disturbing number of murders last year.

        We should lock down more… To be safe.

      • juris imprudent

        It’s working SO WELL in NYC.

      • Cy

        GIVE ME SAFETY OR GIVE ME DEATH!

        -Not Patrick Henry

    • Gustave Lytton

      FOX 11’s cameras were at three of the parties

      Press passes are immune to viruses.

      • Ted S.

        Yeah, it’s shit like that that makes me take the unlibertarian position of wanting to lock down every journalist/reporter and shutting off the transmitters. They’re simply parroting government propaganda and fomenting panic, and are disproportionately not affected by the lockdowns.

    • Rebel Scum

      I liked the “don’t burn coal, produce solar panels” lady. She is a moron. (it takes a MASSIVE amount of coal to produce solar panels…it’s one of the actual ingredients ffs, let alone being the fuel for the heat used in production…)

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The 65 year old woman talking about her right to an abortion amuses me.

      • Gender Traitor

        But she CAN have the right to have an abortion!

    • juris imprudent

      REPENT motherfuckers! And be welcomed into the house of the holy.

    • Broswater

      I don’t know how he can keep a straight face interviewing them.

      ”I’m the most tolerant person there is! Half of the people in this country have no values at all and are completely immoral.”

      The lack of self-awareness is…. fascinating.

  16. Mojeaux

    Today is Mr Mojeaux’s birthday and we went to Red Lobster. Next time, remind me that my eyes are much bigger than my stomach because after 3 stuffed mushrooms and a bowl of lobster bisque I was as stuffed as the mushrooms.

    It is very considerate of the WuFlu to know when you are eating and wait until you arise from the table to attack.

    • l0b0t

      Happy Birthday, Mr. Mojeaux!

  17. Rebel Scum

    Well, he has done such a good job so far…

    A new bill in the New York State Assembly seeks to give one of the nation’s worst governors, Andrew Cuomo, even more power. It is currently sitting in committee, and hopefully, New Yorkers will see it die there. Assembly Bill A416 is scheduled for the 2021-22 legislative session. It amends the public health law to give the governor additional powers after they declare a state of health emergency due to an epidemic. I guess that means now.

    The additions to the law allow the governor, after consulting with the health commissioner, to order the removal or detention of groups or individuals deemed to be a suspected or actual case, contact, or carrier of a contagious disease that, in the governor’s opinion, poses a significant threat to public health. The governor or his delegees in the state’s public health apparatus may order the removal or detention. They only need to identify individuals and groups by a reasonably specific description.

    Individuals could be detained until the health department determines they are no longer contagious or not infected. The good news is you can only be detained for three business days before having an opportunity to be heard. In other words, the Assembly is about to make it easier to detain someone suspected of having COVID-19 than someone who is having an obvious mental health crisis.

    I see several constitutional problems, not that anyone cares.

    From the comments: The only super spreaders are the ones wearing masks constantly touching their faces…

    That’s what I’ve been saying.

    • Plinker762

      The Constitution is not a suicide pact!!

    • prolefeed

      Removal to where? And how?

      In the past, the ride to the detention camps has been done with cattle cars …

  18. The Late P Brooks

    I see several constitutional problems, not that anyone cares.

    Habeas corpus is for chumps.