STEVE SMITH, BIGFOOT HOAX EXPOSER!

by | Jan 15, 2021 | Cryptids | 140 comments

ROAD TRIP!

STEVE SMITH SEE THIS, HIM PUZZLED, ANGRY. HIM NO GO LOOK FOOD IN GEORGIA! HIM HAVE GOOD FOOD IN CASCADIA – PLENTY SNACKS AND CAMPER, HIKER FOOD. HIM ALSO ORDER INSTACART AND SHIPT TO DELIVER CAVE.

…400LBS STRAWBERRIES. 300 PACKAGE BACONS…

 

THEN STEVE SMITH SEE THEM MAKE MUNNIES OFF HIM! WHERE STEVE SMITH ROYALTY? THAT DO IT. STEVE SMITH HIT ROAD – HIM EXPOSE IMPOSTERS! FUN PART TRIP….STAY AT CAMPGROUNDS ON WAY.

STEVE SMITH ASK FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE HELP. WHAT STEVE SMITH STOP AND SEE ON WAY FROM CASCADIA, GO GEORGIA?

About The Author

STEVE SMITH

STEVE SMITH

STEVE SMITH PROMINENT FOREST LAWYER. AND RAPESQUATCH OF IMPORTANCE. ONE TIME GRAND MUFTI OF CASCADIA. FREE CASCADIA!

140 Comments

  1. Lachowsky

    Updated: Aug 26, 2008, 4:01 AM

    I miss the good old days when fake news was at least entertaining.

    • westernsloper

      I’d take 2008 again in a heart beat.

      • Don escaped Two Corinthians

        1975
        Bigfoot
        ESP
        UFO
        Uri Geller
        crop circles

        today 100 stupid ideas crop up a day on Facebook, and people run to embrace them based on whose identity politics it helps

        Americans have generally been stupid trash

      • blackjack

        You forgot pyramid power and hundred and fifty year old Russians who eat yogurt

      • blackjack

        Nevermind, the yogurt commercials were in ’77.

      • Tres Cool

        I remember when MAD magazine did a parody of that with Dammit Yogurt

  2. Aloysious

    What see? Stop by DC. See Nancy Pelosi.

    And by see, mean…

    • Aloysious

      On second thought, see Chuck Schumer. He has bigger moobs.

      • rhywun

        Tendy nub nubs.

      • straffinrun

        Nancy has a rack. Just sayin’.

      • Aloysious

        Fake bewbs.

    • Drake

      That’s my local brewery.

  3. Lachowsky

    WHAT STEVE SMITH STOP AND SEE ON WAY FROM CASCADIA, GO GEORGIA?

    I have some problem coyotes on my place that need a raping. NW arkansas is on the way if you take I-40.

  4. The Gunslinger

    Stop in Lansing and visit with Gretchen Whitmer. And by visit mean…

  5. straffinrun

    Didn’t know we were getting STEVE SMITHED tonight. Lemme plop my ode to Derpy here.

    (AP) Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey Announces Crackdown on Sarcasm

    “In light of the recent event at the Capitol, it’s becoming clear that not all incitements to violence are straightforward. We at Twitter have created a Sarcasm Locate and Unmask Team to review all Tweets”, Jack Dorsey announced in a Tweet on Thursday. The team will be led by Julie Gambolputty and has broad power to suspend or delete accounts that have tweeted ambiguous support of marginalized communities.

    When asked how SLUT will be able to distinguish between legitimate and sarcastic Tweets, Gambolputty admitted it will be a tough task. “We value our users and so will go through their entire online footprint, both on and off our platform, to determine whether a user has been properly expressing non inflammatory messages.” Twitter will be working with former hackers to turn on users’ device cameras and use AI to analyze facial expressions which recognize the tell tale signs of snarkiness.

    The ACLU has expressed concern that genuine supporters of marginalized communities may be removed from the platform in addition to those who clearly deserve to be silenced. In response, Gambolputty came to the conclusion that the ACLU was being sarcastic and deleted their Twitter account. “The system worked and our SLUT members have removed this account that once defended Nazis despite that account changing course over the past decade or so.”

    • mikey

      Not sure Ms Gambolputty could tell if this is sarc or not.

      “The ACLU has expressed concern that genuine supporters of marginalized communities may be removed from the platform in addition to those who clearly deserve to be silenced. ”
      FactCheck: Mostly True.

    • Aloysious

      “broad power”

      Saw that, you.

    • Chafed

      Well done Straff. That’s quite a tribute.

  6. blackjack

    CA is getting singled out for being one of the most inept at distributing vaccines. They are literally throwing it away when people miss their appointments. They’ve only gotten a third of it out, so far. Great news for the recall Gavin movement. I want him recalled, but I know it won’t really help anything. In fact, it’s probably more helpful to have him screwing everything up. Last time there was jubilation that Arnie won and then he disappointed everyone. Whom ever win it this time will do the same. This one party rule stuff is massively fucked up.

    • straffinrun

      One party consent used to be called rape.

    • KSuellington

      I collected one more signature today from one of my favorite customers, a sweet Russian lady in her 50’s that grew up in the Ukraine and well remembers the shittiness of communism. We had a conversation about her family getting screwed out of their land and property that they owned on the Caspian back in the day. Her great grandfather’s house is now the a bank in her home city. I already had her husband sign a few weeks ago and she reminded me that she hadn’t done so yet.

      • Don escaped Two Corinthians

        Her great grandfather’s house

        who is our Potemkin now?

      • C. Anacreon

        “See the Ukraine, from our cattle train…”

        /sung to “see the USA, in your Chevrolet”

    • one true athena

      Biden’s gonna ride to his rescue with National Guard vaccination clinics at like the Rose Bowl, so they can pass it off as Orange Man Bad failure, not Newsom Failure.

      But yes, nobody else in the state is lined up to actually take him on in a recall election, afaik. A Repub won’t win anymore, so we’ll probably get the choice of Newsom or an outright commie like Kevin De Leon.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Kevin Faulconer (nominally R recently ex-SD mayor) wants to run.

      • KSuellington

        Yeah, he is Dem lite, but at this point I just want to see Guv Greaseball sent packing. That would make me happy for awhile.

      • blackjack

        I just really want his career ended. That guy clearly plans on moving up. Recalling him likely would stop that. California dems already pretty much rule the country, that guy must be stopped. I call it ” hitting the emergency brakes” on his career.

      • KSuellington

        Exactly. I want to see him stopped I’m under no illusions that California can be turned around anytime soon, but it would be nice to see his smarmy ass smacked. But as Tox said, someone like Kevin deLeon would be even worse if he managed to slither in.

      • Drake

        So this is like the “Omen”?

        Like if somebody had slapped Willie Brown’s cock out of Kamala’s mouth?

      • creech

        Can Newsome appoint himself to the vacant Harris senate seat?

      • blackjack

        Dunno, but I’d wager that he asked that question himself.

      • Chafed

        So right Blackjack. This state is unlikely to change but putting a shiv in Newsom’s political career would feel pretty good.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        He’s anti-mockdown and has appeared on Fox (Biz, anyway) to say so.

      • KSuellington

        Already I like him more then.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Oh, and has met with 45 at least once.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        mockdown

        Stolen and added to “panicdemic”

      • blackjack

        Arnie was a California republican, too.

      • one true athena

        True. But those were different days.

  7. Count Potato

    “A pigeon that Australia declared a biosecurity risk has received a reprieve after a U.S. bird organization declared its identifying leg band is fake.”

    https://twitter.com/AP/status/1350031602349465601

    “PIGEON PARDON: ‘Joe’ the racing pigeon has been thrown a lifeline after the discovery he’s Australian and NOT American as initially thought.

    Australian quarantine authorities planned to euthanise the bird, amid fears it may be carrying diseases”

    https://twitter.com/9NewsQueensland/status/1349921750843211782

    • db

      Isn’t the whole issue underlying this the questionable assertion that the pigeon could carry SARS-CoV-2?

      First, has it been established that birds can carry the virus?
      Second, why not just test the bird if that’s the fear. The expense already brought about by this stupid situation could have paid for testing already.
      Third, if birds can carry the virus and transmit it to people, why aren’t countries around the world going full Mao Tse-Tung and obliterating their wild bird populations? They seem to love the rest of what he did, so why not?

      This whole thing is dumbassery all around.

      • Count Potato

        And someone tried to frame a pigeon?

      • Ted S.

        Is that an African or a European pigeon?

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      This shit somehow is 1) actually a thing, and 2) fucking news.

      They silence 1/2 the fucking internet, then feed those who remain shit like this.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      On the one hand that’s insane. On the other hand it’s a feathered rat.

  8. Stillhunter

    Missed the cocktails post by Neph (nice work!). Just finished old fashioned number 4…5?
    Recipe:
    1/4 oz simple syrup
    3-6 dashes bitters
    2oz bulliet rye
    Orange zest (rim the glass!)
    Big ice cube

    Stir and enjoy!

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      STEVE SMITH HAVE BETTER IDEA ON WHAT TO RIM.

      • Stillhunter

        Knew that was coming

  9. commodious spittoon

    Treating meeself to Laphroaig 10 year. Good God, it’s good.

    • commodious spittoon

      Just realized I grabbed the cask strength bottle. 120 proof. No wonder checkout was so high!

      • Don escaped Two Corinthians

        woah

        got more Oban for birthday: true friend

      • commodious spittoon

        Happy birthday indeed. What’s it like?

      • blackjack

        I can’t drink scotch anymore. It was causing my gums to recede. Sticking with beer for now. Enjoy it. Next time, try 18 y/o Glenfiddich. Expensive, but worth it.

      • commodious spittoon

        Oh man, I’d have to keep that under lock and key. And throw away the key.

      • Viking1865

        I was in the liquor store in my wife’s hometown, and there was a random bottle of Scotch that was priced at right under 3 grand. Some 40 year old something or other. It came with a little miniature of it, I guess so you could have a pour of it but then keep the actual bottle sealed up for collecting purposes?

      • commodious spittoon

        I drive around in that bottle of scotch… granted, the scotch didn’t need $1200 in repairs a year later, but

      • grrizzly

        Scotch and gum recession? Is it really a thing? I’ve been through at least five gum graft surgeries. I also drink scotch. My periodontist never blamed scotch. He blamed my parents–genetics–instead.

      • blackjack

        It’s just my personal opinion. I really like to leave scotch in my mouth for a long while. As soon as I started trying to fix my gums, I quit the scotch and It seems to be working. YMMV, but I believe the scotch is harsh on my gums and I’m not drinking it until they are stable.

        BTW, I did the laser gum surgery and it was far better than when my wife got the grafts. She got the lower done by grafts and the upper by laser. She is very happy with the laser version. Heals quicker, hurts less and works better.

      • grrizzly

        Good to know about the laser gum surgery. Not sure how it would work in my case. But I’ll keep it in mind.

    • commodious spittoon

      120 proof or not, that is smoooooooth.

  10. Hyperion

    Hey, y’all cryptoid deniers!

    Listen up, friend STEVE SMITH. Joe Biden is the biggest cryptoid denier of all. You have to prove to Joe Biden that you are real! And by prove…

  11. The Other Kevin

    Is there room in Cascadia for us Glibs to hide out if things get crazy?

    • Hyperion

      You may want to wear your iron jammies while sleeping.

    • commodious spittoon

      He’s the only gay in Llandewi Breffi the only black in Utah?

      • blackjack

        He’s certainly the only one who was trying to talk the trespassers into burning the building down.

      • commodious spittoon

        Sounds like conspiracy to me.

        Seriously, the insurrection shit is my last straw. I can’t take anything these people say anymore. Either they’re dumb enough to believe it or they’re liars, and I’m betting on the latter, but it’s straight propagandistic power-grabbing horseshit from here on out.

        Fuck you, Fuck your weird affected paranoia, you and we both know better, go fuck yourself. It’s political expediency all the way down. And the worst part is, half their supposed opposition is onboard.

      • commodious spittoon

        We actually had supposed anarchist insurgents take actual city blocks hostage for weeks, and nobody in the media class and their idiot mouthbreather hangerson blinked. Nobody suggested that was a threat to national security, because: it wasn’t. Despite the fact that giving these retards license would incentivize others to do so, and now you’re sapping the actual industrial strength of a country. But we all grudgingly gave ground because whatever, the local authorities are onboard. So who cares?

        Then a bunch of rioters are given space to destroy in that most sacred of institutions which has, by the way, almost no credibility, and our media betters and their idiot lapdog followers, are suddenly desperately offended about the inSuRecTion AteTempT at ATaeha ThE CaaPitOl BuLIldIng.

    • Viking1865

      That lends a lot of credence to the “Antifa false flag” theory, huh?

      • hayeksplosives

        Yup.

        I hate that the left are making me sound crazy.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        I hate that the left are making me sound crazy.

        This.

        That said, the left is full of false flags. They’ve been doing it for years to try and prove racism.

      • Viking1865

        “They’ve been doing it for years to try and prove racism.”

        Yeah but all the racism false flags were stuff like

        “Black frat president burns a cross on the lawn of his own frat because they’re one strike away from being suspended and if they’ve been the victim of a Klan attack then no university admin will suspend them.”

        If it turns out that everyone who actually damaged things or assaulted people in the Capitol are Antifa types, as opposed to the genuine Trumpaloos who did stuff like “put their boots on Pelosis desk” and “Move Pelois lectern to another part of the building.” and then the federal justice system is actively letting them off the hook while throwing the book at the Trumpers, then that means that we officially live in a feudal state from an equal protection POV.

      • mikey

        Yeah, I keep touching my head expectng to find a foil hat.

      • Hyperion

        Yeah, it’s up there. You just don’t know it because it’s not tuned into CNN 24/7, the most trusted news source ever.

      • Drake

        The craziest most unbelievable theories are the ones the media tells us to believe.

        The covid just happens to naturally pop up in a city where the Chi Come have two biology weapon labs.

        On election night 6 states where Trump was way ahead just happened to simultaneously stop counting – and a couple days later Joe Biden won them all fair and square…

      • hayeksplosives

        “Epstein didn’t kill himself” became a meme, but “Biden didn’t really win the election “ gets nary a mention.

    • Count Potato

      That’s the BLM/antifa guy who was working with CNN.

  12. hayeksplosives

    Victor Davis Hansen on Wokespeak.

    https://www.nationalreview.com/2020/12/a-guide-to-wokespeak/

    “Anti-racism.” Espousing this generic compounded -ism is far preferable to accusing particular people of being “racists” — and then being expected to produce evidence of their concrete actions and words to prove such indictments.

    Instead, one can pose as fighting for “anti-racism” and thereby imply that all those whom one opposes, disagrees with, or finds distasteful, de facto, must be for “racism.”

    • creech

      This tactic worked for years with “anti-communism.”

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      Yeah, if the left is good at anything, it’s highjacking language and using bullshit rhetorical tactics.

      “Don’t call them racist, call yourself anti-racist, that way you don’t have to show anything beyond disagreement to prove racism.”

      • db

        It’s the labeling equivalent to “when did you stop beating your wife?” The label itself calls into question all who do not self-apply the label.

  13. Gustave Lytton

    https://www.oregonlive.com/pacific-northwest-news/2021/01/top-oregon-prosecutors-decry-vow-to-fight-ongoing-threat-of-political-violence-as-inauguration-nears.html

    And Multnomah County District Attorney Mike Schmidt echoed the sentiment, noting the county’s “public safety system stands ready to confront any violence and property destruction.”

    “No amount of property damage or violence is acceptable,” he said in a statement.

    The same commie DA that’s been dropping charges and operating a resolving door for criminals since he took over this summer.

    • creech

      I didn’t know that the greatest third baseman of all time was now a District Attorney in California?

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      No amount of property damage or violence is acceptable[.]

      No amount of property damage or violence is acceptable (unless it’s property, private or otherwise, damage done by Antifa).

      FIFH

    • Chafed

      Let us know when Portland business owners call him out. My guess is they won’t. Enjoy the ride Portland.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Who’s going to call him out? Corporate chains with wokester HR and PR flacks? Large companies with options are already quietly getting out. Small businesses that are ignored by the media or threatened by antifa goons? Chamber of commerce groups controlled by and sympathetic to leftism? There is really no moderate center and no conservative base there to plant a flag against left wing insanity.

    • mrfamous

      Oregon? Seriously? They can’t possibly be serious?

  14. slumbrew

    Just randomly put on sailing on NBC Sports – holy smokes; gigantic sailing hydrofoils doing 40 knots in 8 knots of wind. God, that looks amazing.

    It’s live, from New Zealand.

    • commodious spittoon

      gigantic sailing hydrofoils doing 40 knots in 8 knots of wind

      I blame climate change.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      doing 40 knots in 8 knots of wind

      I was dozing in Physics class when the prof talked about going faster than the wind. I snapped awake and went, “Wait, what?”.

      A few years later I asked a co-worker about it and he said that it was due to tacking, that the wind was one leg of a triangle and the resultant speed was the hypotenuse. This seemed to make sense to me but this 40:8 seems a bit extreme.

      If you are going directly downwind and going faster than the current windspeed, aren’t you encountering a headwind?

      • kinnath

        Going directly downwind, you’d be going the windspeed minus the drag of the water.

        Going crosswind, the wind speed is your cross track velocity. The along track velocity will be much higher.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Basically what my co-worker said. Vectors and the like.

        Thanks for the reply.

      • kinnath

        Don’t know nothing about sailing.

        But it’s just vectors.

      • slumbrew

        minus the drag of the water

        That’s why these boats are so fast – when the wind is strong enough they rise up on the foils, reducing the drag to almost nothing.

        They talk about flying these boats for a reason.

        I find them mesmerizing when they’re foiling.

  15. Muzzled Woodchipper

    Nighttime tunes.

  16. Festus

    Fellow Glibs I need to apologize for my clumsy, crass attempt at humor re: Ben Shapiro this morning. I was unaware of the offense I caused until I reread the thread just now. The cat butt was well deserved. I hope you guys know me well enough after all this time that it is never my intent to cause hurt or harm to others. I’ll temper my comments going forward. Darryl.

    • Hyperion

      Wut? There was a cattbutt and I missed it!!?

      How did that happen?

      • Hyperion

        Ah, I see. Yep, you totes deserved that. But I forgive you.

        I don’t get the dislike of Ben, myself. The dude is sharp as a tack and quick as hell.

        Yeah, I get, a lot of people see him as a neocon sort. But I sort of get his attitude on that. And soon Biden will have the Israelis under constant attack because of the dems constant, not hidden at all, blatant anti-Semitism and I don’t get it, complete support for the Palestinians .

      • Gustave Lytton

        I missed the Catt but and thought it was an actual beanie. I’m so dense.

      • Hyperion

        Cattbutt in the morning links. Just pointed that out because they’re so rare, you know, like a total eclipse of the sun right where you are standing.

      • commodious spittoon

        Cattbutt in the morning

        I’ll settle for getting catbutted, lately the little shit has been waking me by throwing up on the little carpet pad for my rolling chair, not the yards of wood floor around it, but exactly on this stupid little patch of carpet.

      • Hyperion

        That’s a BAD Mr. Kitty!

    • Agent Cooper

      Where’s your other brother Darrell?

      • Hyperion

        Darrel, right over there by his other brother, Darrel.

    • blackjack

      Since when do clumsy and crass attempts at humor warrant apologies? News to me. Especially if it pertained to Shapiro. He’s been trying real hard to denigrate his own image lately.

      • Drake

        He’s a hypocrite whose job is to cover Republicans’ right flank.

      • Brochettaward

        I went back and read the comment. While I don’t agree with the sentiment, I don’t think Festus has anything to seriously apologize for and it hardly warranted threats of bannings. But what do I know?

    • commodious spittoon

      Swiss should have stayed neutral IMO. I mean he has a cross in his flag, doesn’t he know what (((they))) did?

    • commodious spittoon

      The only tempering that should be done around here is with respect to woodchippers and what’s being fed into them, which is, let’s be clear, only what should be put through a woodchipper.

      • Don escaped Two Corinthians

        !

      • commodious spittoon

        I’m not saying one would, let alone should, put certain public figures through a woodchipper, that’s just ostentatiously offensive. Nobody would suggest it’s appropriate to put someone through a woodchipper, let alone acceptable, let alone necessary, let alone a member of Congress. All I’m saying is that if such a patently unacceptable act were performed with certain public Congressmen who’ve incited such scorn from the masses that their predicament is embraced by said masses, it’s not unexpected that they’d be fed in feet-first. That’s all I’m saying. I disavow any such crude retribution that the revolutionary masses might find acceptable. The guillotine was certainly much more hygienic.

      • Brochettaward

        INSURRECTIONIST! CALL THE FBI!!111!!!

      • commodious spittoon

        NOBODY IS SUGGESTING ANYONE FEEDS FBI AGENTS INTO WOODCHIPPERS FEET-FIRST, PARTICULARLY NOT THOSE INVOLVED IN CROSSFIRE HURRICANE. Christ, how crazy would one be to think it’d be morally let alone politically acceptable to put the still-living bodies of James Comey and all his cohorts and directly implicated subordinated feet-first into a woodchipper?

      • commodious spittoon

        I meant subordinates, HOW CRAZY WOULD IT BE THAT JAMES COMEY AND HIS SUBORDINATES BE WOODCHIPPERED UNTIL DEAD was my point, it’d be lunacy, entirely against the norms of our culture, sorry for the typo

      • Don escaped Two Corinthians

        a lovely spiel: thanks

        giggling while zooming

    • Chafed

      That wasn’t Hüsker Dü.

  17. Chafed

    Steve Smith stays at camp sites. LemonGrenade hardest hit.

  18. commodious spittoon

    I popped my second bottle, Creag Isle.

    It’s aight. I meant to grab the blended bottle off the wall and ended up with the pricier bottle of 12 year. Kinda sweet. The nose gives a punch on which the scotch doesn’t deliver. Just kinda bland and medicinal. It does have a fantastic nose, though.

    • commodious spittoon

      It’s certainly helping my spark my creative juices. I don’t think I’ve been this on in weeks.

      • commodious spittoon

        If I had children and you know real obligations, I’d feel very bad about purchasing this scotch. I am instead instead noncommitally drunk on it.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      The moon landings were filmed on a sound stage in Algeria?

      • mrfamous

        Duh

      • Gustave Lytton

        All in the book “[If] I landed it” by the late Commander John Walker.

    • commodious spittoon

      Goddamn Throwing Copper is so good, what happened to these guys???

      • commodious spittoon

        Gotta live gotta live gotta live in shit town

      • slumbrew

        They had _two_ guys named “Chad” in the band. They were doomed.

        (that is indeed a good album)

  19. grrizzly

    Stanford Scientist Can Tell If You’re A Liberal Just By Looking At Your Face

    Stanford University’s Michal Kosinski conducted a study published on Monday in the Nature journal Scientific Reports.

    “Ubiquitous facial recognition technology can expose individuals’ political orientation, as faces of liberals and conservatives consistently differ,” Kosinski said.

    He trained the facial recognition algorithm to accurately guess a person’s political view with an accuracy rating of about 72%. To do this, the researcher trained an algorithm with over one million profiles from social media websites across the US, UK, and Canada.

    It was also explained that liberals tend to smile “more intensely and genuinely,” leaving them with a different wrinkle pattern as they age. Meanwhile, conservatives “tend to be healthier, drink less alcohol and smoke less, and have a different diet” – attributes that affected the skin’s health and texture.

  20. mrfamous

    Went out tonight to one of the few bars that were open and felt very out of place. Old and alone and just meh. It’s like an old Richard Lewis sketch: 10 couples and you!

    • Don escaped Two Corinthians

      just crack a beer, hit the couch, and zoom with the gang

      • mrfamous

        Alright im here

  21. Gustave Lytton

    SP has posted a special late night edition tonight.