Stoner Galt Speech

by | Feb 15, 2021 | Fiction | 228 comments

 

Dudes, thanks for letting me speak,

So, you already decided I’m like, guilty of Heinous crimes, smoking doobies, and like, starting a new free way of living.

 Is that so Bad Old Dude? What’s wrong with working at the pizza Parlor, or driving for Uber, if like, you have like a License and stuff, huh, but I digress. It’s people like me, who pay for your lifestyles, while we just get stoned all day and forget about it. I went to your schools and was brainwashed, my brain was totally washed, and you got into my head, then I smoked some weed, ya Mon. I built the finest, and you tore it down, a great crop, all the people were happy,

And you took it away for your own power trip Man.

 Show me da Man, I show you de crime, I heard you say that once,

I’ll just say that the stoners aren’t so passive Dude, heads up Mr. Toohey

About The Author

Yusef drives a Kia

Yusef drives a Kia

Punctually illiterate But never late

228 Comments

  1. westernsloper

    Wut?

    • Yusef, Disturbed, do not operate while intoxicated,

      Duuuude, just take this bong, you’ll be fine…..

      • egould310

        A kid I went to high school with took three bongs before a Dio concert. He totally freaked out and thought the devil was chasing him. He stripped naked and ran all the way from Market Square Arena to his house in New Castle. It took him two days and his feet were all bloody. They think he ate a couple of crows he snagged in a cornfield along the way. His parents sent him to military school and he turned gay. I don’t fuck with bongs.

      • Count Potato

        LOL

      • Yusef, Disturbed, do not operate while intoxicated,

        no worries, you do you, I’ll smoke it for you,
        Cheers!

      • J. Frank Parnell

        Sounds like every Dio concert I went to, apart from the bit about freaking out and stripping naked and running home and eating crows and going to military school and turning gay.

      • westernsloper

        Here, have some Chili.

      • Yusef, Disturbed, do not operate while intoxicated,

        Oh this is gonna be good…

      • Yusef, Disturbed, do not operate while intoxicated,

        Darn it! I seen that one already, got any more?

      • westernsloper

        Naa, that stuff just pops up. Incredible ride for them though. I know a few guys who were fans of paddling in Chile. Never been myself, or am I a paddler.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yeah! You posted that before right?

    • blackjack

      All he wanted was a Pepsi!

    • DEG

      My thoughts too.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      What?

    • DEG

      Blech. Face diapers.

    • rhywun

      Also can’t stop gettin high

      • egould310

        Good tune. I could definitely jam some Blur tomorrow morning for a run. Thanks!

      • rhywun

        Your tune was tight. Don’t know them.

      • egould310

        Well back around 2000 or so, the bands Big Drill Car and the Doughboys both kinda’ fell apart. Then they were like, “Hey Bud, let’s combine the bands!” And then all those guys left that band and a bunch of Canadians took it over.

    • Count Potato

      Oh, hey, I haven’t forgot to write you. Just not sure what to say.

  2. blackjack

    First, he’ll steal your woman, then he’ll rob your head!

    • blackjack

      Reefer, when you wanna get high!

    • blackjack

      Son, it says here you’re 27, but that’s impossible, you look like you could be 45!

    • blackjack

      Just to piss off Zappa’s ghost.

  3. Count Potato

    I seriously need to finish the half dozen articles I haven’t finished.

    • Yusef, Disturbed, do not operate while intoxicated,

      I just submitted a new one a few minutes ago, I pulled it earlier, looked at it, fixed it up a little and sent it back in,

      • Shpip

        I pulled it earlier, looked at it, fixed it up a little and sent it back in,

        Insert “that’s what she said… wait, that’s what he said” Michael Scott joke here.

    • The Other Kevin

      Same.

    • Yusef, Disturbed, do not operate while intoxicated,

      thanks for another timewaster, the ads are awesome

  4. But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

    This is half the people I’ve met during my life.

  5. egould310

    High to Hell by Black Rainbows https://youtu.be/Z8k_1X4zaTI nice jammer in a Nebula/Fu Manchu kinda’ way

  6. Ozymandias

    Well, it’s (mercifully) a lot shorter than the dozens of pages that Rand put into poor Galt’s mouth. Her heroes are cardboard, but her villains are “dead-on, balls accurate,” to quote another thespian.
    Howdy, Brother Yusef! Hope you’re well, Homes.

    • Yusef, Disturbed, do not operate while intoxicated,

      Ozy! nice to hear from you, I’m doing better, scored a real nice job, freezing my ass off like everyone else up here, how, your scene? sounded kind of touch and go lately,

      • Fourscore

        2 more apple seeds popped up over the weekend, an even dozen now, big uns are about a foot tall

    • Fourscore

      Howdy, OZY, haven’t seen you for awhile. To much work, you know the story, you need a little play time

      • Ozymandias

        Senor Fourscore, Mr. Yusef, I am well! Better than most folks by a longshot.
        The COVID nonsense cratered a bunch of businesses that I did legal work for, and the AZ Bar is slower than molasses in the winter you’re experiencing right now, so it’s made things a bit tough in Ozy-Land. I’m scrambling a bit, but it’s all good. Nothing even approaching real hardship, just don’t have the time I used to hang out with the cool kids here.
        I can’t keep up as much, but I still lurk and read. Always nice to take a breath of sanity here.
        Thanks for asking. Much love to everyone here.

      • PudPaisley

        I just got your book in the mail yesterday and looking forward to reading it. I’ve already read most of it on here, but not all in order.

    • Fourscore

      Some critters get ugly when they miss a meal. My dependents right now are 6 deer, 3 tom turkeys and 2 grey foxes. Fortunately they give me some elbow room at dinner time.

    • The Hyperbole

      Fake news! not a single one of those racoons was fucking.

    • Not Adahn

      His neighbor lady ratted him out and he got a visit from the game warden. He made an unhappy video about it.

  7. Ownbestenemy

    From the other thread:
    Scruffy Nerfherder on February 15, 2021 at 7:38 pm
    Do yourself a favor and buy a quality 6 or 7kw generator. It’s a standard size.

    Scruffy we aren’t powering the house. Its a mobile grooming trailer.

  8. Chai Girl

    Now, I want Pizza. I like pizza. I pizza with pineapple or black olives. I also like meatballs or pepperoni or both.

    • The Other Kevin

      Deep dish of course.

      • Chai Girl

        I like New York Style then Chicago Deep Dish. Deep Dish is a pizza casserole, plus way tooooo much for me. I can eat one and a 1/2 pieces from Giordano’s. That isn’t saying I won’t eat the Chicago Deep Dish, I will try. It is still pizza and good.

      • slumbrew

        Deep Dish is a pizza casserole

        This Tulpa is growing on me.

    • Yusef, Disturbed, do not operate while intoxicated,

      And, the term is and,
      don’t forget the onions,,,,,

      • Chai Girl

        I don’t like onions or mushrooms on anything. If it is on the pizza I will take it off.

    • The Other Kevin

      Once you go gray, you never go gay.

      • Brochettaward

        The bombest pussy in the world couldn’t stop some of you from going gay. You know who you are.

    • rhywun

      Now that’s my idea of some pussy.

    • Don escaped Qanon

      I have exactly the same one

    • tripacer

      Looks like my Dagny, aka Thegreycat

  9. straffinrun

    Am I the “You”?

    • Sensei

      I read that as anata not anta, so probably not.

      I’ve been busy with work and life so haven’t been able to check in here as much. Hope you and everyone else are well.

      • straffinrun

        Same here. Post election, cancel culture, hypocrisy spotting, race baiting burnout. May as well make some coin instead.

    • Yusef, Disturbed, do not operate while intoxicated,

      I am he and you are he and we are all together,

      • Sensei

        Absolutely my friend.

  10. Muzzled Woodchipper

    Fuck you, weather!

    We were supposed to get 8-12” of snow. Instead we’re getting 2” of fucking ice.

    Fuck off!

    • Brochettaward

      It’s only going to be 74 degrees tomorrow here in Florida. A low of 60. It may even rain.

      Get some perspective.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Born in raised in South Florida. Lived there until I was almost 26.

        I’d rather have some ice every few years than constantly oppressive heat.

        Fuck Florida weather.

    • Yusef, Disturbed, do not operate while intoxicated,

      Ice sucks!

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Jesus Fucking Christ, it sucks.

        It’s like a goddamn ice rink outside.

    • rhywun

      We were supposed to get an ice storm but instead the temp is rising all night into the upper-forties.

      ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  11. straffinrun

    For some reason it just doesn’t feel like black history month.

    • AlexinCT

      God damned uppity gaijin.

    • blackjack

      All of Fauci’s chicks are double baggers.

    • Fourscore

      You can’t make this up. I have no idea what’s going on, when I thought things could not go further downhill (crazy or stupid, coin toss) I’m proved wrong. Again. Again. And again.

      • straffinrun

        I blame OSHA.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Agreed.

        This whole Germpocalypse should prove now and forever that there is no such thing as peak derp.

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      They forgot the duct tape around the neck.

    • rhywun

      I have to admit of all the places in the world to git most stoopid I didn’t expect it to be Oz. Maybe some place in Europe, followed closely by the US, but not them.

      • hayeksplosives

        They had to disarm the population first.

        The Oz gungrabbers managed to ride the wave of emotion after some mass shooting incident.

        Thank God and the Founders for the second amendment.

  12. Mojeaux

    I bailed on Cobra Kai S03 E03. Got too stupid.

    • Chai Girl

      It’s a good show. We finished the whole season a while ago. It gets better.

    • Brochettaward

      Too much focus on the kids. Kids ruin everything.

      • Mojeaux

        Agreed on both counts.

        I would have liked to see Johnny learn and grow and I wasn’t seeing that.

    • Lady Z

      We didn’t even make it through S3 E1.

      • Mojeaux

        It was a struggle to get that far.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      Wrong.

    • Agent Cooper

      It jumped a shark, maybe not THEE shark, but A shark.

  13. straffinrun

    Spent most of my life battling myself: Don’t fall to the immediate urge to hate someone. Maybe I’ve misinterpreted something. Maybe my own prejudices have caused me to unfairly justify why I feel hatred. Maybe I don’t know enough and would at least understand, if not accept, why someone did something. Maybe the person did something wrong, but is salvageable.

    The shit I’m seeing on social media coming from the left says that you shouldn’t ask yourself these type of questions. Feast on that initial hatred and search out cult leaders that will give you an All-You-Can-Eat ticket. Indulge in the worst type of self destructive behavior/thinking possible. All in the name of “Justice” and “Equality”. What a shit show.

    • rhywun

      Something’s broke.

      • straffinrun

        “It’s not me that’s the problem. It’s you!”

        Always a ? when you start hearing that all over the place.

      • Flawgic

        That sounds like my ex-wife

      • straffinrun

        Rim shot.

      • Chafed

        That’s way too close to home.

    • Lady Z

      It’s ridiculous. All self-awareness, personal responsibility, and even morality is not only discouraged but openly attacked. I’m amazed at how many people accept being infantalized by their supposed betters.

      • AlexinCT

        The gooal is to dismantle any system that requires people to do shit that actually matters before they can claim they are super special.

  14. Lady Z

    Spent most of the day without power while it’s 8 degrees outside, and it finally just came back on. Of course that was after I somehow made dinner in the dark. I thought I liked cold weather but I’m rethinking that stance.

    • straffinrun

      Good luck to you and all the Texas Glibs. Can’t blame people too much for not being completely ready for that.

    • rhywun

      Where I live the power only goes out when it’s too hot.

      /Northeast Strong

    • Brochettaward

      How much truth is there that Texas ran into problems because they were using too much wind energy?

      • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

        Alberta uses shitloads of wind energy.

        But we’re not stupid enough to turn off the coal and natural gas. Thank God for dead dinosaurs.

      • Not Adahn

        You probably have turbines that are designed to work in sub-freezing temeratires too.

      • Not Adahn

        That’s what’s been in the news, but that hardly means it’s true…

    • hayeksplosives

      Did you have gas fireplace heat or an actual fireplace fire for warmth? Or were you central air only?

  15. The Bearded Hobbit

    I discovered today that I have been signed up for my 50th High School Reunion planning committee.

    Anyone have any suggestions?

    • Brochettaward

      Be the First to say you aren’t going.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Be the First to say you aren’t going.

        Exactly this.

        Followed by a huge “Fuck off!”

        If I was contacted by anyone at my high school telling me I’ve been assigned something, I’d quickly be gassing up the woodchipper.

    • straffinrun

      Check the obits before sending out invites.

    • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

      Do not go.

      That’s my only suggestion.

    • egould310

      Just say no.

    • creech

      Your chance to find out the popular chicks, cheerleaders, and prom court have all blown up like Kate on “This is Us”, and the plain chick you wouldn’t even look at then now looks like a million bucks, has a million bucks, and cleavage you’d die to run your tongue down.

      • slumbrew

        Dude, it’s his 50th, not his 10th.

      • Fourscore

        Try the 65th and comparing SS checks.

        Hobbit, it doesn’t take a lot to get old people excited. A couple drinks, a little music that no one listens to and some food. Mostly the discussion will be about the deceased. Entertainment is just showing up.

        My class stopped having reunions a few years ago, too few left, too far to drive for some. The HH brings the locals together and everyone can get home in the day light.

        I enjoy(ed) the reunions ’cause having a body temperature was the most important thing and being together again was great, seeing those that you didn’t know well and all the differences had been forgotten.

    • Not Adahn

      Bill the hookers as “party planners.” If you list them under “miscellaneous,” it will just draw scrutiny.

    • rhywun

      More than 1 in 20 state government jobs vanished in 2020

      ?

      • straffinrun

        Defund the police.

  16. straffinrun

    “ Democrats say that without this help, states and local governments could turn into a drag on an already slow economic recovery”

    Turn into? The leeches are not getting enough blood!

    • slumbrew

      Governments are, by definition, a drag on the economy – pure consumers of wealth.

      • straffinrun

        Then we should go fascist.

  17. Flawgic

    Last!

    • Flawgic

      Damnit, this was meant for the links post. I fail at everything.

      • Brochettaward

        I don’t even want to know what sort of deranged deviant would try and celebrate being last. Are you some kind of sex pervert? I bet you are a sex pervert because only a sex pervert would even think of doing that as a joke.

      • Flawgic

        I’m trying to fail upwards! It works for politicians.

    • straffinrun

      Now you sound like my wife.

  18. Brochettaward

    If it wasn’t for my FIrst today the PM links would have probably only had like 50 comments in them. I saved the PM links.

    • UnCivilServant

      You have that backwards, you cost the links 50 comments.

    • rhywun

      Ouch, they’re getting dark.

      • zwak

        In this case, literally.

  19. dbleagle

    The winds were gusting to 1 knot today. I just got back from the two ocean view hill hike in my neighborhood. I decided to have a knockoff mojito before dinner. It went straight to my head so grilling the steak and zukes will be interesting. Wish me luck.

    Yes I will have some cab s with dinner.

    • egould310

      Two ocean view hill hike, hell yeah.

  20. hayeksplosives

    In tonight’s edition of “What the heck is wrong with Mr Splosives?” Hayeksplosives finds an important clue!!

    About 4 years ago when we lived in Minnesota, Mr Splosives was dealing with pain and damned near having a panic attack over it. I went with him to the doctor (one who’d been his reg MD for many years, and whom he trusted) who prescribed antibiotics for the diverticulitis causing the pain, and said “I’m adding a med that will help you sleep.” He (the doc) gave me a significant look snd a wink. I read the script and saw it said for insomnia and anxiety.

    I filled the script and he took those pills every night. The doc kept renewing the pills, so I assumed he’d kept taking them and had told his Cali doc about them. He had not.

    I found the pills in his med cabinet—they come in a distinctive blue bottle. He verified that he doesn’t take them anymore.

    I read the label: Doxepin! It’s not for insomnia at all; it’s for depression!! His old doc knew he wouldn’t take it if he knew what it was.

    Now I’m planning to get his old medical record transferred to his new doc (I already did my own, and he claimed he’d told his new doc all his meds and history) so the doc can see the scrip for Doxepin and make the next move accordingly.

    So I feel somewhat relieved that his old doc thought he might benefit from antidepressants. Now I just need him to take the meds daily as prescribed and see what I need to know.

    Thanks to you armchair shrinks out there. I might have to administer these by dart, but it’s progress.

    Doxepin. Who knew?

    • Brochettaward

      I wonder about the ethics of a doctor lying to a patient about the purpose of a medication being prescribed. Not your main concern at the moment, I suppose, but seems like something that would get a doctor in some hot water.

      • hayeksplosives

        It’s entirely possible that his doctor talked with him frankly about it another time but that he did not tell me or he didn’t really absorb it himself.

        I often get exasperated by the fact that he can’t summarize accurately what a doctor just told him,

        He has selective powers of memory.

        When I recently reminded him of a spot on his lung for which he got CT scans twice a year until the docs were satisfied it wasn’t cancer, he had no idea what I was talking about. He had honestly forgotten.

    • Mojeaux

      I’m glad you found that.

    • Q Continuum

      I know you said he’s been losing weight which makes him happy. Be aware: doxepin is a big weight gainer. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t get him back on it; depression is far more serious than weight gain. Just making sure you know in case he starts putting on some pounds.

      • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

        Don’t know about doxepin per se, but the SSRIs I was prescribed over a decade ago had a rep for being HOOOOOGE weight-gainers (one of the reasons why I ended up not taking them). It worked out for me, but part of any successful method of dealing with depression is awareness. It can’t overcome pure brain chemistry, but it sure can help.

      • hayeksplosives

        I don’t care if he gains weight as long as he gets out of whatever dark valley he’s in.

        If he would stop reading and watching vids about the worst of corruption and other ways civilization is declining it would help.

        Hopefully the new doc will figure it out and get him some treatment.

  21. JG43

    I delivered pizza. This is authentic frontier gibberish.

  22. C. Anacreon

    Nine years ago this week I was hospitalized after previously undiagnosed bone marrow cancer had eaten away my lumbar spine and the whole thing collapsed like a closing accordion, losing me six inches of height (I went from 6-4 to 5-10 in a matter of seconds, but at least I had some room to give, 5-10 is actually better in some ways) and leaving me in excruciating pain which still persists to this day, though it’s gotten more tolerable. The next day I had spinal surgery to stabilize what was left; they also biopsied then and confirmed the bine marrow cancer on valentine’s day 2012.

    The silver lining of that hospital stay and extended recuperation is with all that time, i went from a long-time lurker on TOS to active participation, and since then have gotten to know all you fabulous folks.

    I bring this up because I have just been rushed to the same hospital with an apparent small bowel obstruction, and they are prepping me now for surgery. What an anniversary! What are the odds?

    Hopefully all will go well and I will continue posting here for years to come. But if this is (very unlikely, it’s not a complicated surgery) in any way the last post for me, I just wanted to make sure and say thanks to all of you for all tge great conversations through the years, and for teaching me how delicious rye can be! Hopefully I will check in tomorrow, but if you don’t hear from me, it’s been fun… and all my love to all of you. TTFN.

    • KSuellington

      Damn Doc, that sucks. Hope the surgery goes well and you are back to posting your often silly (and sometimes hilarious), and informative posts. You had mentioned the loss of height with your spine at the last meetup (wow, that was really too long ago now), but I had thought that happened over months and not seconds. I’m sure you will pull through this and look forward to your post saying you had a successful surgery and look forward to when another meet up can happen again. Best to you and your fam.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Ditto! Have been very blessed with your presence & comments here and at TOS, and glad that my initial impressions of the outlook were spectacularly wrong. Nine years ago, wow.

    • PudPaisley

      Good luck C. Hopefully they clear that shit up tomorrow and you’re back to posting your juvenile, quirky jokes. Love your sense of humor.

    • slumbrew

      Damn, Doc.

      I choose to believe the best and look forward to your complaints about bad hospital food and backless gowns in short order.

      You are in my thoughts. I wish I had something more substantial to offer you.

    • JG43

      Godspeed old man. See you on the other side.

      You’re still taller than average so you got that going for you.

    • Aloysious

      I wish you well, Doc. Looking forward to seeing you post once again.

      • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

        Indeed. Every op seems to bring us a new opportunity to think about our mortality (I’ve been through several myself), but I’m sure you’ll be back soon. Hopefully you will regale us with stories of hot nurses!

      • Chafed

        I’m no doctor but that should help.

        Are you a father yet?

      • Q Continuum

        Induction on Thursday, so then by the latest.

        Freaked out and excited.

      • hayeksplosives

        Yay for Q-family!

        Good luck, Mr Responsibility!

      • one true athena

        Mini-Q!

        Best wishes to you all

    • Chafed

      Good Lord and good luck C. Anacreon. Let us know how it went.

    • hayeksplosives

      Wowsers.

      That’s a long journey you’ve been on so far.

      I hope the surgery goes well and that the pain in your spine, while stable, subsides a bit more every year.

      Good luck with the blockage surgery; I hope you’re as comfortable as possible.

    • one true athena

      Sounds like you’ve been through much worse already, but still, I hope to see you back soon!

    • Sean

      Wow. Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

    • westernsloper

      Holy Moly! Trust all went well.

    • The Frostbitten GT

      I’m afraid I MUST insist that you come through your surgery with flying colors and report back to us at your earliest opportunity, Doc.

      Whenever you read this, I hope you’re comfortable and speeding down the road to recovery.

      • Fourscore

        Late to the game as always but what all our other friends have said goes for me too. The road is long, sometimes bumpy and always a surprise around the next bend. Get well and get back here.

    • Sensei

      A belated be well in case you check back.

  23. hayeksplosives

    It’s been a four day weekend for me. Back to thinking about work now.

    Thanks for the supportive words, relevant questions, and generally listening. I hope any further updates from me are happy ones.

    I want to get back to discussions on the impending doom of society as we know it, and similar light-hearted fare.

    🙂

    • Sean

      Ewwww…work…

      Think about pork instead.

      *Insert Homer drool gif*

  24. Yusef, Disturbed, do not operate while intoxicated,

    Hello everybody!

  25. Sean

    Mmmm…left over bbq for breakfast.

    ? ?

    • Yusef, Disturbed, do not operate while intoxicated,

      not in TX or OK apparently

    • UnCivilServant

      Apparently it may have warmed up to 28 degrees, but we are having what they used to call “Wintery Mix” but that wasn’t so armageddony for the broadcasters. We got alternating sleet freezing rain, rain and snow.

      • UnCivilServant

        Oh, hey, the national weather service is still using the good ole term Wintery Mix. Good on them.

    • The Frostbitten GT

      Morning, UCS. Apparently we had a bit of a lull in the snowfall in the wee hours, but at last check it was coming down again. Official total as of about 5 a.m. was 6″.

      I hope my work is at least on delay, but I haven’t heard anything yet. : (

      • UnCivilServant

        My overnight was miserable – but not for the weather. My digestive tract decided it wanted to be empty – and wasn’t picky about the direction. If I had to be in the office, I would have just called out sick.

        Now I’m wondering how to take medication that’s supposed to be taken with food when I’m not sure the food will stay down.

        How’s the reading going?

      • The Frostbitten GT

        Oh, no! I’m so sorry you’re sick! : ( Can you order up a grocery delivery with plenty of Gatorade to keep yourself hydrated & electrolyted? Or maybe Pedialyte?

        Back through Part 13. Composing an e-mail even as I type.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’ve got hydration covered. But not getting any sleep doesn’t help me focus on work.

        Maybe I’ll do my mandatory “training”, that doesn’t require any thought.

      • Sean

        That sounds unpleasant.

        Hope you feel better.

      • UnCivilServant

        I did manage to go outside and salt my sidewalks.

        Freezing rain is fun – leaves a nice coat of glaze ice on everything.

        How are things in your neck of the woods?

      • Sean

        Drizzly and gray.

        No slip & slide action.

      • Ted S.

        Oh dear, another covid death.

      • Festus

        Formilac is a baby food that will settle your grouchy tummy. I almost made a formulaic joke but I like you too much.

  26. Yusef, Disturbed, do not operate while intoxicated,

    Howdy U and GT, time for work, quite the slippery commute today, 8 degrees, going to 20! Oooh,
    Cheers!

    • The Frostbitten GT

      Be careful out there!

  27. Sean
    • UnCivilServant

      It’s so predictable, I guessed the caption before I opened the article.

  28. limey

    I guess Parler is back, sort of, perhaps. Good morning, Glibs.

    • Tundra

      Mornin’ limey!

    • Sean

      *waves*

  29. The Frostbitten GT

    Not even a delay at my job. Time to go dig myself out and hit the road. Just hope it doesn’t hit me back.

    Grrrrrr…. >: (

    • Tundra

      Drive safe. -15 again here. Gotta wrestle the dogs into their boots and jackets and go for a walk.

      Fuck this.

      • Fourscore

        -28 here but with power, water, firewood and coffee. Life is good, see the doc this afternoon

      • Tundra

        Good luck. I hope he can help.

      • Festus

        Walk in, loud and proud and walk right back out again unless you need a scrip.

    • The Hyperbole

      That sucks, We didn’t get as much as the forecast but it’s still nasty out there, I was able to get to the corner store for coffee, only because I live next to the Hospital and they keep my street pretty clear, the secondary roads not so much, I have declared a snow day for The Hyperbole Construction and Design Co.

      • Festus

        “Orphans Rejoice!”

  30. Festus

    Nice one Bob! They’ve cut my OT back to one night a week but I might have to split Sunday up into two shifts meaning that I’m back to 7’s again. This winter is killing me.

    • Festus

      I have been noticing all the pot-shops that seem to have sprouted like mushrooms and admit to a little bit of nostalgiac yearning. The right blend might help. Maybe go the “girly” way and start with gummies. I’d need a Sherpa, though.

      • Not Adahn

        The housekeeping crew here has gotten some floor machines that you ride around on.

      • Festus

        So like me in a golf cart? Sign me up! In all seriousness, they won’t work in this application. You need a lot of space and nobody in your way.

      • Not Adahn

        These are pretty compact, you stand on them. But it wouldn’t surprise me if they were silly and prone to breaking down. Janitronics(tm) loves to be early adopters.

      • Festus

        I prefer the walk-behinds. You can control them easily and get a better clean. Good God I’m pathetic.

      • Festus

        They are like mini-Zambonis and if you put to much solution on the floor the power-scrubbers will make the ass end fish-tail like a ’67 Charger. Not good news in a supermarket. Ask me how I know.

  31. Not Adahn

    ATTICA! ATTICA!

    • Not Adahn

      I wonder if it’s Sloopy’s turn and he has no power.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Frozen windmills? Let it snow, let it snow, let it ahh fuck it.

      • AlexinCT

        WHERE BE DA LINX??

    • Sean

      *starts passing out pitchforks and torches*

      • Not Adahn

        I could have sworn that there was some sort of missing links alarm system at HQ.

      • UnCivilServant

        Alarms only work when someone is around to hear them.

      • Not Adahn

        Or a power source for them.

      • The Hyperbole

        Can I wear the buffalo horns?

      • Festus

        “I got a rock…”

    • Festus

      ^ yep

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      I love how his co conspirator drives off.

      • Not Adahn

        No use in soaking up bullets.

    • Sean

      Nice,

    • Fourscore

      AOC is reading the Help Wanted adds, looking to go back to her previous career.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Considering the money the cronyists have to make from the green energy transition imma say no.