Friday Morning Can’t Get Enough Links

by | Jan 29, 2021 | Daily Links | 459 comments

Hey, I’m back again. What’s up? Y’all can look up birthdays on your own. I’m here to link stories and chew bubblegum this morning, and I am all out of bubble gum.

Maybe I’m wrong on this, but didn’t open enrollment just close like, 4-5 weeks ago? Is there anyone who hasn’t had a qualifying event that suddenly wants to pay for health insurance? I mean, maybe some redditors.

Somehow, the Dems are going to elevate Ron DeSantis, the most meh governor of Florida during my residency (which included such firebrands as Bob Graham and Jeb!) into a presidential candidate by exhibiting a basic executive competence.

Warm up your boats for tragic firearm losses.

Once Matt Taibbi stopped writing for the Rolling Stone, he got a lot less partisan.

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

459 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    “A national firearm registry is against federal law. Even Rep. Jackson-Lee’s home state of Texas refuses to consider a registry because of the Orwellian gun control incursions on Second Amendment rights. An examination of the bloated and expensive failure of Canada’s attempt at a national registry demonstrates the tremendous blunder this would be. ”

    I think Canada got rid of its long gun registry, but still registers handguns?

    • Count Potato

      ““(D) as part of the psychological evaluation, the licensed psychologist interviewed any spouse of the individual, any former spouse of the individual, and at least 2 other persons who are a member of the family of, or an associate of, the individual to further determine the state of the mental, emotional, and relational stability of the individual in relation to firearms.”

      Any former spouse of the individual? What could possibly go wrong?

      • UnCivilServant

        Someone might get through and be allowed to own guns?

        /DemOp

      • leon

        Well, I think it would all go to Sheila Jackson’s plan. Except the part where the abusive husband prevents the escaped wife from getting a gun. But those are just some eggs for our omelet

      • Mad Scientist

        That’s fine. Abused wives on the run would be a great lever to pry more money out of the public for shelters, counselors, etc.

      • juris imprudent

        Say someone like Jacob Blake’s baby-momma?

      • Rebel Scum

        There are no bitter ends to relationships. It is known.

      • Festus

        Yep. They never do things like refuse visitation and sell all of your possessions out of spite when you meet another gal. And you don’t promptly cut them out of your life without ever looking back. Nope. Never happens.

    • leon

      Why have a registry of what of what is illegal. Hoping we can get a national public registry of people who have abortions.

    • Tonio

      This would also seem to require the registration of ammunition — talk about an onerous burden, which is exactly the point. The left thinks they can go after ammunition and do an end-run around the constitution.

      • WTF

        Restricting ammunition is still an infringement against the right to keep and bear arms, but of course the left are disingenuous idiots. Or maybe they just think a packed SCOTUS will go along with the charade.

      • Suthenboy

        I think ammo falls under the definition of ‘arms’

      • Not Adahn

        The founding fathers could not have imagined self-contained metallic cartridges! Only loose powder and ball is protected under the RKBA!

      • Tonio

        I agree with both of you, of course, I’m just saying that I keep hearing the left rumble about imposing onerous (to us, not them) restrictions on ammo. I agree such would probably be overturned by the current SCOTUS, but as we all know the process is the punishment and the harm that would be done between implementation and overturning is very real. Government lists, people.

      • Viking1865

        If they get every gun owner on some list in the bureaucracy, that list will be leaked out to proggy activists, and the progs will start calling schools, workplaces, etc.

        Then we get into the insanity of the red flag law. If theres a federal list of gun owners, it’s only a manner of time before progs get that list and start combing social media for actionable posts or straight up lying.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I forget which moron she is. Is she just a run of the mill everyday moron or is she the tiny cowboy hat wearing moron? Also, the chances of that making it through are pretty damn low.

      • Animal

        It’s morons all the way down.

      • Brett L

        SJL is on everyone’s short-list for lowest IQ in Congress.

      • Animal

        And she’s up against some pretty stiff competition.

    • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

      The long gun registry was dismantled by the Conservatives in 2012, although Quebec (naturally!) did not destroy their copy of it, and keeps it to this day to track long guns in that province.

      The Cons ending the registry is possibly the only example in history of a firearms registry actually being shut down by a national government.

      Handguns are “restricted” weapons, and are treated differently than long guns in any event, although the government of The Hair That Walks Like A Man™ has a list of 1,500 long guns that they are banning come 2022:

      https://www.rcmp-grc.gc.ca/en/firearms/need-know-the-government-canadas-new-prohibition-certain-firearms-and-devices

      Basically, if it looks like a “scary black rifle with the thing that goes up,” you can’t own it anymore, although the second-biggest category of what you’re no longer allowed to own would be “anything that’s popular.” It is suspected by those in the know that some idiot intern put the list together late on a Sunday night after sharing a blunt with a few other interns during a brainstorming session of what to ban.

      TL;DR – Canada’s firearms laws are a freakin’ mess, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the FedGov’s new move to ban the above-mentioned long guns results in widespread disobedience, thus creating millions of criminals out of the genpop. Hey, it happened with the long gun registry.

      • Not Adahn

        Beretta CX4 Storm carbine

        For shitting really?

      • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

        Yep. I said “idiot intern,” and I meant it.

      • Not Adahn

        I also like:

        Upper receivers of M16, AR-10, AR-15 and M4 pattern firearms are also now prohibited devices.

        because I assume that means the lowers were already bannned. Otherwise, it’s be time to hit the drating table and comue up with a non “AR Pattern” upper that just coincidentally fit on a lower.

  2. The Late P Brooks

    “(1) REQUIRED INFORMATION.—Under the firearm registration system, the owner of a firearm shall transmit to the Bureau—

    Nope.

      • Tonio

        [nautical salute]

      • l0b0t

        Nautical salute sounds positively euphemistic. I wonder what oddly specific color one would need in a handkerchief to get that party started?

      • juris imprudent

        Has to be navy blue. Just not sure what pattern.

      • Rat on a train

        mix and match to your delight

      • Not Adahn

        I don’t think “let’s get drunk and engage in a little scourging and sodomy” is unique enough to warrant a special code.

      • Tonio

        With a bit of a rework that could be a great album title for a punk band.

      • EvilSheldon

        Didn’t the Pogues already get that one?

      • Tonio

        [wedgies EvilSheldon]

      • juris imprudent

        Yeah, but that was taken from a quote from Churchill, arguing against Navy “tradition” when he wanted the RN to modernize.

      • Rat on a train

        A rowboat will do and doesn’t require a license.

    • AlexinCT

      They are just shamelessly telling us they will disarm us because we refuse to bend the knee…

      • juris imprudent

        Anyone have the stats on how many inane, never-to-be-adopted pieces of legislation the good crazy-woman as introduced? How many she’s ever actually shepherded into passage?

      • WTF

        Given the current insanity in DC, I think “yet” is an important qualifier in any answer to your questions.

      • juris imprudent

        Some of the critters like to introduce the same forlorn PoS every session.

      • WTF

        Oh, I know. And they never pass. Until one day, when things are crazy enough, they do.

      • Not Adahn

        Anyone who refuses to turn in their weapons is a traitor and deserves to be shot. The use of nuclear weapons is an option.

        /Swallwell

      • Festus

        I wonder how Fang Fang rated him in the sack. He doesn’t seem to be the harmonica playing type.

      • Rat on a train

        It reduces our nuclear stockpiles for a double win.

    • Drake

      Two giant pieces of wishful thinking. No – nobody is sending that information.

      And no – the government does not presently have the ability to track and store that information once they receive it.

      How Guns Are Tracked At The Gun Store

  3. OBJ FRANKELSON

    How ever will the hedge fund managers be able to pay for their mistress’ Upper East Side town house now? Somebody think of the sugar babies!

    • AlexinCT

      You better believe that the reason so many government entities now have their eyes on this is that they have been told that if the fat cats are left holding the bag, the donations are gonna dry up…

    • robc

      The addition $1400?

  4. UnCivilServant

    I’m here to link stories and chew bubblegum this morning, and I am all out of bubble gum.

    Is it still a quarter? No? Damn, it’s been decades since I bought gum.

  5. juris imprudent

    Meh competency is plenty good enough for me for the elected Executive. Big improvement on whatever standard has applied the last 20 years or so.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      -1 Chimpy McHitler

      • juris imprudent

        Anyone from Texas want to stand up and say he was a competent governor?

      • Festus

        “A Connecticut Yankee In Sam Houston’s Court”

      • Not Adahn

        How would anyone know?

      • DrOtto

        He brought back emissions testing in the ’90s, so no.

    • l0b0t

      Oddly, (IMO) the most competent FL governors of my lifetime have both been Democrats – Reubin Askew and Lawton Chiles. I would proudly vote for the disinterred corpses of either man for any office in the land over anyone else fielded.

      • Brett L

        I was not around for Mr. Askew’s term, although I met him about… 2006 as an elderly gentleman. Very kind man, at least to me.

      • Gdragon

        Reubin Askew… was it the kraut or the Swiss? You can’t rush those things 😉

        I will see myself out…

  6. Animal

    Sheila Jackson Lee is as dumb as a bag of hammers inside a larger bag of wet hair hanging from the lowest branch on the Stupid Tree, and it’s been a long time since anyone in Congress, even the libs, took her seriously. So I doubt this will go much of anywhere, even now.

    • Tonio

      I agree. But they will file other bills, some of which might pass and cause untold damage before being declared unconstitutional. And they will go after ammo; it’s their latest fetish.

      • WTF

        Assuming that any court that matters will actually follow the constitution. Which as we know is highly in doubt.

      • juris imprudent

        Since we’re DOOMED, what are you going to do? Kill yourself in despair? Go out in a blaze of glory – the last great act of defiance? Ex-patriate?

        I mean, it’s clear for you, you leave no room at all for doubt – so what the fuck are you going to do other than share how miserable you are?

      • WTF

        What the fuck do you care what I’m going to do or not do? If you disagree and think the courts will suddenly start following the constitution in spite of evidence to the contrary, then make your case, don’t opine on what you think I should or shouldn’t do, because that’s irrelevant and obnoxious. And how the fuck would you know whether I’m miserable or happy? I’ve given no indication either way, so save your bullshit and just fuck off unless you have an actual point to make that’s germane to the discussion.

      • juris imprudent

        I’ve already put serious thought into ex-patriating. That’s my plan – not something I am happy about, but it is an option.

        It’s your relentless negative vibes man! [insert appropriate Donald Sutherland in tank pic]

      • DrOtto

        The Germans got nothing to do with it!

      • Agent Cooper

        WTF = What The Fun! (it is known.)

      • Rebel Scum

        As if you have standing in the first place, comrade.

      • Sean

        I haven’t ordered any bulk ammo since Sept. /frowny face

  7. The Late P Brooks

    Retard monkey knife fight

    At one point, Gaetz even echoed Trump’s disdain for developing countries in a dig at Congress, saying: “A nation that sends its best to fight in the worst nations in the world should not send its worst to be its representatives in the United States Congress.”

    Cheney’s team has largely brushed off Gaetz’ attacks, with one member of her office telling CNN this week: “Rep. Gaetz can leave his beauty bag at home. In Wyoming, the men don’t wear make-up.” (The dig is an apparent reference to Gaetz’s use of makeup in an HBO documentary about his time in office).

    In a statement to POLITICO, former Wyoming State Rep. Amy Edmonds put it equally bluntly Thursday: “Wyoming doesn’t like it when outsiders come into our state and try to tell us what to do.”

    She’s a real Wyoming cowboy, and don’t you forget it. Otherwise, her sister will beat you up.

    • juris imprudent

      They don’t seem to understand what opposition party is supposed to mean; no wonder they can’t govern.

    • Agent Cooper

      Gaetz is a tool, but Cheney is worse.

  8. Certified Public Asshat

    WH: ‘Shouldn’t be a surprise’ Janet Yellen paid by firm in GameStop stock struggle

    “Separate from the GameStop issue, the secretary of Treasury is one of the world renowned experts on markets, on the economy. It shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone she was paid to give her perspective and advice before she came into office — before she came in to be the treasury secretary, I should say,” Psaki said at a White House briefing.

    You too can be rich in these easy steps.

    • WTF

      The game is rigged, and you’re not in the club.

  9. PBRstreetgang

    Somebody help me out here. Why is GME up 77% this morning? I thought the WSB brigade, at least those that could, would take some profits and flee, but instead there is all this buying. What am I missing?

    • Not Adahn

      Dunno, but this morning NPR is for it. They interviewed someone who was a member of WSB and r/AcidMarxism about how great it was. By the voice, I’d put money down on xem being trans.

    • Count Potato

      I haven’t looked into it, but some of the buying seems to be from big players. Also, the WSB brigade is simply refusing to sell.

    • PBRstreetgang

      Additional big players squeezing Melvin Capital must be a part of it, as well as WSB people holding rather than selling (which really surprises me!). It is fascinating from a behavioral econ/psych perspective.

      • juris imprudent

        Group dynamics too – because a few defectors could tip the cart.

      • Festus

        Jenga tower.

      • PBRstreetgang

        Wow, that is some crazy stuff. I mean, if they’re willing to lose a bunch of money to make a point, more power to them. Some of them will/have made a bundle.

      • straffinrun

        It’s funny walking into another echo chamber and seeing the in group lingo. Evidently, they refer to each other as fellow “retards”.

      • Not Adahn

        “we can stay retarded longer than they can stay solvent.”

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      Many brokerages prevented retail investors from buying yesterday but allowed selling. Hedgefunds were exempt from the buying ban. This was an attempt to artificially drive down the stock price and prevent Citadel from getting slaughtered on the shorts. Now we see the true market price.

      If I’m following correctly, GME stockholders are making money off the shorts from the hedgefunds. They don’t need to sell. I think the main guy has already made 11 million from those.

      • creech

        “Many brokerages prevented retail investors from buying yesterday but allowed selling. ”
        Who was doing the buying then? Someone had to be buying what the sellers were selling. It doesn’t make sense that the buyers were Wall Street insiders does it as, from the 10,000 ft. perspective, GameStop’s intrinsic worth is no where near what its shares are going for.

      • straffinrun

        It’s intrinsic value is a giant middle finger. Price that how you will.

      • Festus

        The Gaijin gets it!

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        The hedgefunds were buying the shares back so they don’t have to pay the shorts. There are screenshots all over where RobinHood sold their investor’s GME shares against their will. Must be pure coincidence that the majority owner of RobinHood is a hedgefund getting slaughtered right now.

        The intrinsic worth of GameStop is irrelevant. The value right now is in the shorts, which is theoretically infinite because there is no max cap.

      • juris imprudent

        But bankrupting the hedge fund isn’t going to yield the GME shareholder a return on his investment. Now, if everyone only holds a few shares, that isn’t too high a price to pay I guess.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        They’ve already made their return many times over just collecting from the shorts. The people jumping in now may not be, but the WSB who bought in at < $20 share are set. The biggest winner put in $55k and has already collected over 11 million from the hedgefunds.

      • juris imprudent

        Sure, but the people holding out now?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Doesn’t matter. I don’t care about their motivations. If they do something stupid and lose their money, so be it. If they get rich, so be it.

        I do care that the powers that be are changing the rules to save their own asses.

      • AlexinCT

        ^^^SO MUCH THIS^^^

        This is another example of the top men changing the rules to benefit themselves when the rubes decide not to fucking bend over and grab their ankles for the top men t go to town.

      • Agent Cooper

        “RobinHood sold their investor’s GME shares against their will.”

        This is the big WTF that I hope sinks them in the lawsuit.

      • AlexinCT

        I heard that they are willing to go under and pay the fines because it will never amount to the $71 billion they stand to lose. And you know that the Yellen gang will give them a slap on the wrists for breaking the law, because these top men are their masters (that’s where a shit-ton of team blue money comes from: Wall Street)..

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Fiduciary responsibility, that’s what is is

    Robinhood CEO Vlad Tenev said Robinhood’s move to stop trading in certain speculative names was in the best interest of the company and its millions of users.

    “In order to protect the firm and protect our customers we had to limit buying in these stocks,” Tenev told CNBC’s Andrew Ross Sorkin Thursday evening.

    ——-

    Amid a wild week of speculative retail trading, Robinhood on Thursday restricted trading in thirteen equities, including GameStop and AMC Entertainment. The free stock trading pioneer only allowed clients to sell positions, not open new ones, in certain securities, raised margin requirements, and even said it would close out some positions automatically if the client was at risk of not having the necessary collateral.

    “We just haven’t see this level of concentrated interest market wide in a small number of names before,” said Tenev. “We do believe that you should be able to buy and sell the stocks that you want to.”

    Robinhood then said after the closing bell Thursday that it would allow limited buying of restricted securities on Friday.

    The broker’s initial decision was met with outrage from its band of loyal retail investors; however, Robinhood explained that the move was made to comply with capital requirements mandated by the SEC for broker dealers.

    Did those investors hire you to actively manage their portfolios, or merely facilitate transactions?

    • WTF

      and even said it would close out some positions automatically if the client was at risk of not having the necessary collateral

      Sounds an awful lot like theft to me, unless there is some agreement or terms of use for using RH that specifically allows them to do this.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      And with that, Robinhood is done.

      • Festus

        They fell on their sword for someone. Problem being the “sword” was one of the movie prop ones where the blade slides into the hilt. I’m sure the Top Men at Robinhood have a very cozy future ahead of them.

    • Rebel Scum

      I thought Robin Hood took from the rich feudal lords and gave to the poor. This is the opposite.

      • Animal

        Robin Hood confiscated tax revenues from the agents of a corrupt dictatorship (and really, is there any other kind of dictatorship?) and gave the proceeds back to the rightful owners.

        So, yeah, not really the same thing.

      • DrOtto

        Someone on WSB yesterday suggested setting up a company called Sheriff of Nottingham and then do the opposite of what Robin Hood is doing.

      • R C Dean

        No need. Stealing from the poor to give to the rich is already a saturated market.

      • Agent Cooper

        Just call it Gold Man Sacks or something …

      • Not Adahn

        I’m pretty sure “Gold Man Sacks” is a name of a gay adult video award.

    • Not Adahn

      I think I’m going to open a bank. We’ll have policies in place where customers are allowed to deposit, but not withdraw. I’ll make a fortune!

      • UnCivilServant

        too bad the name “GoFundMe” is already taken, it would fit perfectly.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    “Separate from the GameStop issue, the secretary of Treasury is one of the world renowned experts on markets, on the economy. It shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone she was paid to give her perspective and advice before she came into office — before she came in to be the treasury secretary, I should say,” Psaki said at a White House briefing.

    I’d respect them more if they just came right out and said, “None of your goddam beeswax, buster.”

    • Festus

      “Janet Yellen is the first female with a front hole to hold this position so shut up!”, she explained. It bothers me that Psaki hits a number of my buttons. I would have made it my mission twenty five years ago to pursue and bed such a creature just for the bragging rights. Of course it would be betwixt me and myself, a gentleman never tells…

      • l0b0t

        I don’t know her at all but I was annoyed at the talking point about her wearing one of those Red Army fur hats for the tourist trade. I’ve been sporadically collecting Sov/Warsaw Pact surplus since the mid-1980s; they make pretty good cold weather gear. It implies no endorsement of their abhorrent ideology.

      • Festus

        Yeah, that was dumb Team shit. Not like Brennan being an active Commie which is never talked about in polite society.

  12. Rebel Scum

    Hey, I’m back again.

    Well that’s disappointing. //jk

    • Festus

      It’s the avatar. We don’t know if you realize it but you’ve been sipping tasty nums-nums this whole time.

  13. Rebel Scum

    Maybe I’m wrong on this, but didn’t open enrollment just close like, 4-5 weeks ago?

    Has this law ever been taken at face value and enforced as such?

  14. Rebel Scum

    by exhibiting a basic executive competence.

    This is really the best we can hope for.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Anyone have the stats on how many inane, never-to-be-adopted pieces of legislation the good crazy-woman as introduced? How many she’s ever actually shepherded into passage?

    The problem is the constant erosion of what passes for “legitimate legislative interest”. Eventually, Congress comes to believe they have a perfectly legitimate authority to ban incandescent light bulbs and decide how much water your washing machine is allowed to use per load. And then somebody comes along and asks, “How many people were killed by washing machines last year?”

    • juris imprudent

      Anything and everything is a “legitimate” legislative interest. You want someone to blame – look around, because the voters keep sending these shit-heads to do our business.

      • pistoffnick

        I don’t vote.

      • juris imprudent

        And you still get to live with the results!

    • Agent Cooper

      I would favor limiting Congress to a 2-week engagement annually in which they have to pass a budget. They get paid in food and board and must retain real jobs for the other 50 weeks of the year.

      • Not Adahn

        They get paid in food and board

        Fuck that. Each state can pay for their own congressional delegation and they can all confer online. Turn the Capitol into a museum and/or flophouse.

      • AlexinCT

        Why do you want to get rid of our most famous whore house?

      • Not Adahn

        Have you seen the whores they have there? And such high prices too!

      • AlexinCT

        Yeah, giving Pelosi that expensive jug of ice cream ruined it…

      • R C Dean

        They get paid in food and board and must retain real jobs for live off graft the other 50 weeks of the year.

  16. Rebel Scum

    New Gun Control Bill Would Create Public Registry Of Firearms

    Luckily I only have fishing rods, such as my trusty Angler Royale model 15.

    • Sean

      GF wants to go to the next localish gun show to pick out an upper for her xmas gift lower.

      • Festus

        Phrasing?

      • Sean

        *shrug*

      • juris imprudent

        She needs the thing that goes up.

      • Festus

        🙂

      • tripacer

        +30 magazineclips

    • creech

      On this issue, Tucker is full of it.

      • Count Potato

        That quote seems correct to me.

      • creech

        I’ve yet to meet a financial adviser who wasn’t delighted that little guy outsiders were making a nice profit. When the outsiders exit the market (1930-1950) many brokers go under or don’t thrive. Yeah, one can make a profit selling luxury goods to other rich folks but the real money is in selling to the masses.

      • UnCivilServant

        There are more masses with a little extra money than there is extra money held my the rich.

      • Agent Cooper

        I think you are both correct. They don’t mind the outsiders making a little bit of money, relatively speaking. It’s when the outsiders make too much or f with the overall system in place that they lose their minds.

      • AlexinCT

        When the outsider is making money by cock blocking the insiders crooked move, then the insiders get pissed. The serfs are allowed to play, but they should know their place and respect their betters…

    • rhywun

      And he was prodded to do so by his AG – the same one presiding over the state’s obsessive attacks on Donald and Wall Street – who released a no-shit bombshell report yesterday. Strange times.

      • Not Adahn

        Does LeTisha James have an Emmy?

        Check-MATE trumptards!

      • Chipwooder

        She wants his job.

      • rhywun

        You betcha. “Former AG” is practically a job requirement.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Damn, he killed so many old folks they might step him up to a Grammy this year.

      • Festus

        He’s going for the EGOT.

    • invisible finger

      When does his impeachment proceeding start?

      • robc

        Impeachment? Skip straight to the murder* trial.

        *yeah, some lower level of homicide, but you know what I mean.

      • Festus

        Depraved Indifference. I’m not a fancy Law-Speaker-type but what he did needs consequences. Harsh ones.

      • juris imprudent

        OK, he has to give the Emmy back.

      • Festus

        ^^^!

      • Not Adahn

        Why should he have to give it back when all the ptoblems are Trump’s fault?

    • mrfamous

      We knew this months ago: what NY was doing was when someone caught it in a nursing home and got really sick, they’d send them in an ambulance to the hospital. When they died in the hospital a few hours later, NY was not counting it as a “nursing home death.” You actually had to die _in_ the nursing home for it to count.

      If it wasn’t for partisan politics, both Cuomo and his idiot brother would be in exile somewhere instead of racking up praise on Twitter and in the media.

      • Not Adahn

        AFAIK, the NY Dept of Health’s official stance is “putting oldsters who were actively sick into nursing homes resulted in zero deaths. All the fatal cases were the result of assymptomatic spread from nurses and janitors.”

      • UnCivilServant

        The Public Information Office is not sending their best. Not their best people, not their best lies. Sad.

    • Hyperion

      Facts are antithesis to ‘democracy’. That much we have learned.

  17. Tundra

    Good morning, Brett!

    Thanks for pinch hitting this morning.

    Once Matt Taibbi stopped writing for the Rolling Stone, he got a lot less partisan.

    The only thing “dangerous” about a gang of Reddit investors blowing up hedge funds is that some of us reading about it might die of laughter. That bit about investigating this as a “pump and dump scheme” to push prices away from their “fundamental value” is particularly hilarious. What does the Washington Post think the entire stock market is, in the bailout age?

    Boom. I’ve been spending more and more time over at substack. Some good shit happening there.

    The gun thing gets trotted out every fucking time this happens. What do you smart folks (or even dumb folks) think the odds are this time?

    I hope y’all have a good Friday!

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      The odds of it getting passed, or the odds of compliance?

      Historically the odds for either have been pretty close to 0. However, the current makeup of Congress changes the calculus on the former, without moving the needle much at all in the latter.

    • creech

      I’ll bet you can’t find one Civil War historian that would endorse this tall tale.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        They must be in on it.

    • Tejicano

      Sounds like the plot from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly…

      • Mad Scientist

        Everyone knows the gold is in the unmarked grave next to Arch Stanton.

      • AlexinCT

        In this case it is Mike Hunt’s grave?

      • westernsloper

        A most excellent film ?!

      • B.P.

        Right down to the dying officer…

        “Various accounts say that the lieutenant charged with leading the wagon had fallen into a fever and divulged the secret of their cargo to the lower ranking soldiers.”

    • Agent Cooper

      Damn. They read my screenplay!

    • Not Adahn

      By having sex outside your marriage, you risk spreading coronavirus.

      For the wages of Sin is ‘vid.

      • Festus

        And Herpes.

  18. Count Potato

    “An eight-year-old girl has been expelled from her school in Oklahoma school after telling another girl that she had a crush on her.

    Delanie Shelton claims she was called in to Rejoice Christian Schools in Owasso, near Tulsa, after her daughter, Chloe, made the remark on the playground.

    The girl was left in tears after being told by officials that the Bible only allowed her to marry a man.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9199361/Eight-year-old-girl-EXPELLED-Christian-school-telling-girl-crush-her.html

    OFFS!!!

    • Rebel Scum

      It IS a Christian school…

      • Rat on a train

        Real Christians don’t let their faith get in the way of making people happy.

      • Rothbardsbitch

        Not a Christian but Christianity is all about denying yourself sinful pleasures. Gay sex is pleasureful but sinful and thus you need to deny yourself that pleasure/sin.

      • Count Potato

        She’s eight.

    • Suthenboy

      I am calling that bullshit. Never happened.

      • juris imprudent

        SJWs *need* this to have happened – it justifies their commitment to the cause!

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        It’s just stupid enough to have possibly happened in Oklahoma, but I’m guessing there’s a helluva lot more to the story.

      • Agent Cooper

        I wonder if there is more harassment in the real happenings other than a simple “I love you.”

  19. UnCivilServant

    First world problems – I’m still trying not to yell at the godawful gmail interface I’m stuck with for work email.

    Of course, employee time is treated as free by the bean counters, so the amount of wasted effort doesn’t factor in to their calculations, even if it ends up costing more.

    • rhywun

      Thoughts and prayers. I stopped using that crap at least a decade ago.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Why not, he seems like a perfectly rational individual who isn’t told what to do by a tiny transistor radio the dentist secretly imbedded in his tooth.

      • juris imprudent

        “This is God, Kent”

      • robc

        lololololololololololol

        I love that movie, am afraid to go back and watch it though. If it doesn’t hold up, I will be so diappointed.

    • westernsloper

      Now there is a credible witness. Not. Crazy. At. All.

      • juris imprudent

        Is that you talking, or Rep. Jackson-Lee?

    • Not Adahn

      That… was… GLORIOUS!

      Even better that the operators didn’t cut away from it.

    • Count Potato

      LOLOLOLOL

    • westernsloper

      HA!

      The worst thing about that is I learned Brian Williams has a show. Shouldn’t he be living in isolation in some shack in the mountains of MT located at the end of some random dead end road?

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Trump’s fault

    “Telling everyone that the race was stolen when it wasn’t, cost the Republicans two Senate seats,” said Erick Erickson, a syndicated conservative radio show host and blogger in Georgia.

    “The going all-in on the cult of personality around President Trump hurt them as a result. They had to play up this, ‘there’s no way Donald Trump could have lost. It had to be stolen from him.'”

    In fact, according to sources close to the campaigns, people in and around the White House, including the president’s lawyer, former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani, also put near-constant pressure on the two Georgia Republicans, David Perdue and Kelly Loeffler, to shape their runoff campaigns around his demands.

    “It was a hostage situation every day,” said one Republican strategist familiar with the campaigns who only agreed to speak on the condition of anonymity.

    NPR always has space for somebody who wants to whine about Former President Cartoon Villain.

    • Rebel Scum

      Because Hiddin’ Biden totally got 83 million legitimate votes across the country…

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Or maybe, just maybe, the two candidates were the creme de la shit and the way the election irregularities in Georgia were just hand waved away by the Republicans who were covering their own asses turned off a lot of Republicans. Loeffler and Perdue did and do suck.

      • creech

        “the two candidates were the creme de la shit ” Compared to the two who won? Someone posted here that the GOP candidates ended up with about 90,000 GOP votes less in the Special than Republicans won in the General. Something turned off just enough GOP voters to
        cause the loss of the two seats.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        What turned them off was how the Republican Party acted post Nov 3rd and, yes, the two who were fielded were garbage middle of the roaders who didn’t excite people at all. Also Trump wasn’t on the ballot and a lot of people who voted for Trump in November filled in the downticket with Republicans. If they would have loudly stood up for Trump, correct or incorrect, they would have won.

      • Rebel Scum

        Why vote for a party’s candidates when that party won’t even fight for itself?

      • Viking1865

        “GOP candidates ended up with about 90,000 GOP votes less in the Special than Republicans won in the General”

        Special elections are always lower turnout than POTUS elections, for one thing.

        For another thing, the GOP Establishment consistently stabs the base in the back when the base gets their candidate of choice through a primary, but then expects the base to show up when the establishment gets their candidate of choice through. They did it with Trump. The last two GOP POTUS candidates voted for Joe fucking Biden, then they expect the base to come out and “save the Senate” for them.

        The Democrats do not do this. When the candidate of the base wins the primary, the establishment does their best to get them elected. Trump got one or two Dem state legislators to endorse Trump. Meanwhile the GOP has their last POTUS endorsing the Democrat, half the “conservatives” in the media are voting Biden.

        It’s the definiton of chutzpah to do everything you can to defeat the base’s chosen candidate, and then expect them to turn around and show up for a couple establishment candidates before their favorite guy is out of office.

      • R C Dean

        “the two candidates were the creme de la shit ” Compared to the two who won?

        I have no problem with someone who doesn’t vote for a crap candidate. Period.

        Regardless of who their opponent is. The enemy of my enemy can be my enemy, too.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Meh, they lost because the voters decided they wanted their $2K and the Dems promised it to them.

        That was a four point swing in the final week. de Tocqueville looms large.

  21. Mad Scientist

    “The Sabika Sheikh Firearm Licensing and Registration Act,”

    Who?

  22. Rebel Scum

    I’m sure our new *CnC will be all over this.

    The Chinese Defense Ministry said on Thursday that China-US military relations are at a new starting point with the Biden administration, but warned it is impossible for the US to contain China if it remains determined to do so, and “Taiwan independence” will lead to war…

    On the recent operations of the People’s Liberation Army in the Taiwan Straits, Wu again stressed that Taiwan is an inalienable part of Chinese territory, and the Taiwan question is China’s internal affairs and does not allow any foreign intervention.

    The PLA operations in the Taiwan Straits are aimed at the current situation in the region, and are a necessary move to safeguard national sovereignty and security, and act as a stern response to foreign interference and Taiwan secessionists’ provocations, Wu said.

    “Taiwan independence” means war, Wu warned.

    The warning is not only to “Taiwan independent” forces, but also to the US, since the US has been sending the wrong signals to Taiwan secessionists and boosting support to them, according to Song.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Time for Taiwan and Japan and, hell why not, the South Koreans to nuke up. It’s hard to invade anyone who can wipe out fifty of your largest cities if you try.

      • AlexinCT

        ^^^^THIS^^^^

        The US should encourage this. You will see how soon China backs the fuck down then..

    • Timeloose

      This is the biggest worry about the recent Taiwan conflict. They basically are the factory for the majority of advanced semiconductors and have been for many years. Recently the move by Trump to force the Taiwan based manufactures to restrict sales to the PRC has pushed this issue to a more volatile place than it is already in.

      https://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2021/01/26/business/taiwan-semiconductor-dependence/

  23. Swiss Servator

    I’d like to point out that it is 15 degrees here in my part of IL. Snowy. But this evening I will be in Arizona…brining Wonder Dog some pizza.

    • invisible finger

      Pickled pizza?

    • Mad Scientist

      Visiting Swiss Requires Skin Grafts Due To Pizza Burns When Tackled By Dog Of Unusual Size

    • robc

      What is wonder dogs take on deep dish?

    • Animal

      Going the opposite direction here – from mid-forties yesterday in Denver to single digits in the Great Land.

      I’ll take that trade.

      • straffinrun

        You know who else preferred single digits?

      • Sean

        Not Tara Reade.

      • Not Adahn

        Definitely not that BBC Cymru chick.

      • Mad Scientist

        GME short sellers?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        The Sesame Street Count?

      • creech

        Frenchies who captured English longbowmen?

      • juris imprudent

        Thing?

    • Not Adahn

      4 degrees on the drive in.

    • KromulentKristen

      The weather has become irrelevant to my life at this point. Today’s commute? Calm winds and 70 degrees between the bedroom and the living room.

      • R C Dean

        We have skiing here in Tucson, at least. Well, its a half hour drive, but still.

    • Agent Cooper

      Don’t forget the pineapple.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    But this evening I will be in Arizona…brining Wonder Dog some pizza.

    Are you a registered and licensed pizza importer?

  25. The Late P Brooks

    The Chinese Defense Ministry said on Thursday that China-US military relations are at a new starting point with the Biden administration, but warned it is impossible for the US to contain China if it remains determined to do so, and “Taiwan independence” will lead to war…

    Who cares about China? We have bigger fish to fry.

    We have rampant insurrectionism and sedition to stamp out, right here at home. The enemy within must be our first priority.

    • AlexinCT

      The CCP told them that should be their priority too, anyway..

  26. Rebel Scum

    Well, only right-wing content is political. Left-wing content is just science.

    On Wednesday, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced the company will rework its social media platform, reducing the amount of political content in newsfeeds.

    “One of the top pieces of feedback that we’re hearing from our community right now is that people don’t want politics and fighting to take over their experience on our services,” Zuckerberg said on a conference call with analysts, CNN reported.

    Before the U.S. presidential election, Facebook stopped recommending civic and political groups to its users. Zuckerberg said the platform plans to continue this policy long term across the globe.

    • creech

      I noticed, too, that the daily Assoc. Press “Fact Check” column has disappeared from my local newspaper. I suppose it is refreshing to know that the BidenhertimeHarris administration has not resorted to any baseless, unsubstantiated, or unproven claims (chortle). Every word spoken by Pharaoh Obama II is the truth and carefully chosen to promote unity and equity and cast out the deplorables from society.

    • Suthenboy

      “…CNN reported.”

      Uh huh. If ever there was a credible source…

    • Agent Cooper

      “One of the top pieces of feedback that we’re hearing from our community right now is that people don’t want politics and fighting to take over their experience on our services,” Zuckerberg said”

      He’s not wrong.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      Biden said he’d be honest. I guess that’s good enough and there’s no need to check it.

    • B.P.

      Unfortunately, the left has turned every corner of life into politics.

  27. Certified Public Asshat

    Elizabeth Warren is using the robinhood/Game Stop fiasco to push her fucking wealth tax again. Clearly the government not having enough money is the problem here.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Of course politicians were going to try to shoehorn this into their agenda, kind of like how they link damn near everything to climate change, it’s just what they do.

    • Mad Scientist

      Taxes aren’t about generating revenue. They’re about punishing people.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        In the same vein, giving more power to the government regardless of revenue collected.

      • AlexinCT

        They are about government controlling which entities win and which lose… You know: fascism.

    • R C Dean

      “Look, a bunch of rich people lost a lot of money! Let’s tax rich people!”

      I have to admit, the logic eludes me.

    • Cy

      We definitely need more/larger entities like the FBI, SEC and IRS. That’ll fix the problems!

  28. Suthenboy

    Can someone explain to me the differences between the current policies we have here and those of Fascists/Socialists.?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      People like to talk about how the Soviets actually won the Cold War but a more apt descriptor would be the Italians really won WWII. We are a fascist nation now by the textbook definition and have been for a while (with the exception that we’re more internationalist than nationalist).

      • Tundra

        A soft, pretty comfy fascism, but yeah.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Don’t be fooled, they’ll make you eat frogs if you’re too pigheaded about getting with the program but it’s definitely more Brave New World as far as compliance techniques go.

      • Chipwooder

        Well, they ARE always trying to talk people into eating bugs

      • AlexinCT

        Instead of camps (at least for now) they just cancel you and make it impossible for you to make a living. That is far more humane than working your ass to death.

      • Chipwooder

        We’ve taken the corporatist portion of fascism and left being the nationalism.

      • Chipwooder

        Left behind that is

    • Festus

      They haven’t completely mobilized yet. The tsunami is just a baby wave headed onshore. When it reaches the coast is where the real fun and mayhem begin. Meanwhile everybody is down at the beach gathering all the free fish that the ocean gave them when the water receded.

      • Suthenboy

        I like this analogy

    • Mad Scientist

      The only reason it doesn’t work here is because we have many fewer trains for them to get running on time. This is why they always want more trains.

  29. straffinrun

    What if it turns out that the only thing saving us from dystopian hell were the Hedge Funds?

    • Not Adahn

      Then we were already in a dystopian hell and your question is self-negating.

      • straffinrun

        You didn’t smoke enough weed in Uni.

      • Not Adahn

        There’s so much I didn’t do enough of back then.

      • robc

        I have never smoked anything. Maybe that is my problem.

      • UnCivilServant

        Make sure you have good ventillation and get it to temperature.

      • AlexinCT

        What kind of rub?

    • commodious spittoon

      I thought of a better one: Ving Rhames, but Bruce Willis never shows up.

      If I ever watched Deliverance, that might be even better.

  30. Chipwooder

    Along similar lines as the information someone posted yesterday about Peter Sztrok’s wife being promoted to head of enforcement at the SEC, apparently Jen Psaki’s brother is an executive at Citadel, because of course he is.

    • straffinrun

      This story just keeps getting better and better. “Citadel”.

    • Festus

      Fuck a flaming duck. I almost wish that we could go back to the before times, the long, long ago when you didn’t have your outrage meter in the red at all times. I suppose we’re heading in that direction anyway with the banning and censorship. Enjoy your Soma, boys!

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      It’s like finding out that a couple of your cousins are banging. Technically it isn’t illegal but it just ain’t right.

      • Festus

        Do they let you watch?

      • Not Adahn

        Is she hot?

      • Chipwooder

        Topper Harley: You know sir, playing to lose is like sleeping with your sister. Sure, she’s a great piece of tail with a blouseful of goodies, but it’s just illegal.

        Commander Block: Jesus, Topper!

        Topper Harley: Then you get into that whole inbred thing. Weird looking kids who play the banjo, eat applesauce through a straw. Pork farm animals.

    • R C Dean

      Oh, and the lawyer who altered an email to get the subpoenas on Flynn gets to keep his license.

  31. Semi-Spartan Dad

    My mother in law wants to make my children beneficiaries on her life insurance and is claiming the company requires their social security numbers to do so. I’ve explained the company needs SS #s to payout the benefit but it’s not needed just to add them at this stage. I don’t have my kids’ SS #s on any of my policies/accounts and really don’t want to release them to some random life insurance company unless it is to collect the benefit. The kids are contingent beneficiaries so would only collect if my wife dies before her mother.

    I’m getting heat from my wife and mil about not turning over the kids’ numbers. Am I being too cautious on this?

    • Festus

      In these trying times? Probably not.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        My thoughts too.

    • Nikkodemus

      If you live in California, it is correct that they need ssns to add beneficiaries to the policy. Any other state does not need them until payout.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    Can someone explain to me the differences between the current policies we have here and those of Fascists/Socialists.?

    More genders.

    • Festus

      More and different arm-bands.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        Ribbons instead of armbands.

    • straffinrun

      Uniforms are different. Now they are designed by Yugo Toss. #Stayhomestaysafe

    • Suthenboy

      I am not sure about that. I think cross-dressing was a thing in nazi Germany.

      • AlexinCT

        Especially in the SS.

  33. Rebel Scum

    Unity, healing, etc.

    Watts said, “Nicolle, you can’t. You’ll always be on your heels, always be reactive. We had a period after 9/11 where we were trying to get left of a boom as they would say as they would say in counter-terrorism. Which is can you get way up the stream of attack and root out the confluences that bring about that attack?”

    He continued, “If you took what President Trump said and instead put it in Anwar al-Awlaki’s mouth, we would be talking about a drone strike overseas. That’s one aspect with our political leaders talking about this rhetoric.”

    He added, “There are several other reasons. Domestic terrorists have open access to weapons in ways that international terrorists did not. Never did we have many ISIS supporters who have acquired handguns, long guns, explosives, explosive primers, if you look at that Michigan militia plot, they were talking about diversionary devices.”

    This person is 1) disingenuous/lying and/or 2) insane.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      It’s number one coupled with a ritualistic handwringing and outrage roleplay.

    • Count Potato

      Why not both?

    • Viking1865

      He’s a former infantry officer, former FBI agent. He’s a counter-terrorism expert and big pusher of the ROOSSSIAN HACKERS IN OUR DEMOCRACY bullshit. He’s not insane, he’s a dangerous enemy of freedom.

      • Gustave Lytton

        He’s also one of those flit from position to position to rack up “experience” while doing the very opposite.

    • R C Dean

      we were trying to get left of a boom as they would say as they would say in counter-terrorism

      Wooo. Check out the high-speed low-drag operator.

      Never did we have many ISIS supporters who have acquired handguns, long guns, explosives, explosive primers

      ISIS had tanks, RPGs, artillery, etc. What a blatant lie.

      If he’s talking about ISIS supporters in the US, wouldn’t they have the exact same “open access” that (other) “domestic terrorists” have?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That’s the kind of guy who recognizes his job is to tell them what they want to hear so they can justify their actions.

        In other words, a total sociopathic scumbag.

      • Suthenboy

        “ISIS had tanks, RPGs, artillery, etc. What a blatant lie.”

        Supplied by guess who.
        Watching news footage of ISIS once I pointed out that ISIS had humvees, AR rifles and other American equipment supplied by bamahay and Illaryhay and I was told I was nuts. They supplied insurgents against Assad who were…guess who.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Let’s see… what’s more likely, islamic jihad style terrorism or Troubles style? If I was a counter terrorism expert, I’d be more concerned about power tools purchases.

      • UnCivilServant

        Any idea how many irish there are in this country? Waay more than in ireland.

        It ain’t gonna be suicide attacks on civilians, that’s fer damn sure.

    • Cy

      “Even after we’ve heavily restricted everyone we want to control, they still have these other scary things they could do! We must take those away too!”

      There’s a reason the 2nd amendment didn’t have limits for the militia’s rights or arms.

  34. westernsloper

    Since DeSantis is bickering with the current Fuhrer’s I expect portions of doses of the vaccine that were going to be sent to FL to be sent elsewhere. I don’t put anything past the Top Men these days.

    • KromulentKristen

      Only right thinkers get the needle, comrade.

    • Festus

      Happening up here. Alberta is getting shorted on vaccines. Gee, wonder why Alberta is being singled out…

  35. The Late P Brooks

    Eat the rich

    Embattled New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio took aim at the city’s wealthiest residents on Thursday, calling for taxes that will “redistribute the wealth” and fund recovery efforts following the coronavirus pandemic.

    De Blasio outlined his revitalization plans during his final “State of the City” address. The mayor argued that higher taxes on the rich would generate revenue to aid an overhaul of a local economy reeling from the pandemic.

    “We’re going to work constantly for a fairer economy, and that means we must tax the wealthy and we must redistribute the wealth of this city to those who do the work,” de Blasio said in the address. “Even during the height of the pandemic, we saw the stock market boom. We saw 120 New York billionaires grow their net worth by $77 billion.”

    Are you going to nail their feet to the floor, first?

    • Ozymandias

      If he would just leave the GME redditors alone, this would help the redistribution problem more than anything the government could ever do….which is exactly why all of the govt hacks are against it. They sure as hell don’t want the proles figuring out how to help themselves.

      • Suthenboy

        He is a looter. That is all he knows, looting. Taking. Stealing.

    • Chipwooder

      Cmon baby, eat the rich,
      Cmon baby, eat the rich,
      Sitting here in a hired tuxedo,
      You wanna see my bacon torpedo

    • Not Adahn

      Any budgetary shourtfall will be made up from Federal funds. It’s only fair!

  36. robc

    Robinhood is back up and GME is back over $300. Huh, imagine that.

    The lawsuit for the non-margin people who got closed out is going to be epic.

    • R C Dean

      The claim for people who were blocked from buying will not be small potatos, either. Even if it was for a day or two.

      • robc

        I saw yesterday that over 50% of RH customers owned GME.

        I dont know if that is true or not, but I hope it is.

  37. The Late P Brooks

    Uniforms are different. Now they are designed by Yugo Toss. #Stayhomestaysafe

    Footie pajamas?

    • straffinrun

      Onesiek heil.

  38. Rebel Scum

    Incoherent rambling of a deranged lunatic.

    Glaude said, “I want us to understand is that Trumpism, Trump isn’t the problem. He’s just simply accelerated it, intensified it. Right? What we’re facing in this moment, I believe, are the new Redeemers. That was that political coalition in the aftermath of the Civil War, who organized in order to seize political power and enforce white supremacy.”

    He continued, “So, we can talk about the conspiracy theorists and the white nationalists. What we have is a Republican Party that is, in fact, the new Redeemers. That’s who they are. They are defending an idea of America that presumes that people like me, people who hold views that are different than them, do not belong here. They are willing to kill in the name of it—at least some among them. Then you have people in leadership who are willing to defend them. So, we have to be honest in our descriptions. As I said way back when, this is us. This is us. We have to admit it and stop Trump gazing. Understand that Trump didn’t deform the Republican Party. The Republican Party vomited up Donald Trump. They’re one and the same in interesting sorts of ways.”

    America has never been more racist than it is now, obvs.

    • Chipwooder

      Princeton professor….of course.

      • Viking1865

        Good thing we have top tier thinkers like this to hold the gates closed against the populist hordes.

      • pistoffnick

        *Imagines Eddie Glaude, Jr. shouting “HODOR!”*

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      CWAA

    • R C Dean

      That was that political coalition in the aftermath of the Civil War, who organized in order to seize political power and enforce white supremacy.

      Not mentioned:

      They were Democrats.

    • kbolino

      That projection level is off the charts.

  39. Tundra

    “But whether the Constitution really be one thing, or another, this much is certain – that it has either authorized such a government as we have had, or has been powerless to prevent it. In either case it is unfit to exist.”

    Someone recognized it in 1867.

    • juris imprudent

      The Constitution is always powerless if people choose to ignore it. The problem is the people.

      • kbolino

        There could be 10 million people alive today who want to follow the Constitution to the letter. That’d be an overwhelming majority of people in this country until the mid-19th century. Nowadays, it’s not enough to matter, especially if they’re spread around geographically.

        “The people” are not a homogenous mass, yet we are governed by people who insist we must follow their rules instead of our own.

      • juris imprudent

        Nowadays, it’s not enough to matter, especially if they’re spread around geographically.

        Exactly – we are getting the govt the people want. Our problem is that we disagree with 90+% of our fellow citizens. It isn’t nefarious plotting or shadowy conspiracies – it is right there in the open.

    • pistoffnick

      Lysander Spooner

      • robc

        You answer Hitler to the “You know who else…” game, dont you?

      • R C Dean

        That’s how you lose the game. Geez.

      • pistoffnick

        I was surprised that I remember a quote.

        I was doubly surprised that Tundra posted it.

        Spooner is kind of obscure.

      • robc

        In general? Yes.

        Around here?

  40. Mojeaux

    Once Matt Taibbi stopped writing for the Rolling Stone, he got a lot less partisan.

    Fabulous article, and the comment section is golden.

    • Mojeaux

      Seen in the comments: “Objectivism is Scientology’s doppelganger.”

      I haven’t laughed this much in months.

      • Mojeaux

        They’re both cults.

        But that is not what’s keeping me laughing. This whole GME soap opera is gut-busting.

      • juris imprudent

        It really is like a pro-wrestling (soap opera for men) script.

      • Mojeaux

        I like my soap operas in words on paper behind a hot bodice-ripping cover.

  41. limey

    Meh governor? I thought DeSantis has proved to be pretty good as governors go? Like he didn’t go loopy when the excrement contacted the turbine?

    • limey

      That doesn’t make him a good governor, just better than a lot of others.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    So, uhh… Random rhetorical question:

    What are the people who have suddenly developed a deep and abiding interest in “fundamentals” and Value Investing saying about Tesla? What do they have to say about the bond market? Are they out there saying 30 year Treasury returns accurately reflect risk?

    • Not Adahn

      “SHUT UP,” they explained.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Twitter – EPS of -$1.58, Market cap of $36B

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        On 800M shares outstanding, that’s a loss of $1.2B last year.

      • robc

        Their revenue, however, is large and increasing. Which is what you value a young company on more than EPS.

      • juris imprudent

        Shit. Twitter’s revenue last year was $3.46B – and they still lose $1B+? But even more stupid, fundamentally, is that the market cap is 10X revenue.

        Now maybe if revenue was doubling every year, but year to year growth was 14%. You’re gonna be holding that stock a long time before the cap matches “the fundamentals” of the business.

    • mrfamous

      The “fundamentals” of our entire economy is insolvency, so if you’re going to trade on the stock market, it’s probably wise to ignore fundamentals.

    • limey

      Verily they speak out of their fundament!

      *16th century rim shot*

    • robc

      DFV claims to be a value investor. He bought the original calls as a value play on GME.

    • Rebel Scum

      Have you heard that we have the first female treasury secretary? I feel like that cannot be stated enough. I’m sure we will circle back to it again.

      • R C Dean

        She was strongly supported by the finance industry, since they only have to pay her 78% as much as they would a male treasury secretary to get her to do their bidding.

      • juris imprudent

        *uproarious applause*

  43. The Late P Brooks

    Never did we have many ISIS supporters who have acquired handguns, long guns, explosives, explosive primers

    Where’s Eric Holder when you need him?

    • EvilSheldon

      So that’s who’s hoarding all the primers!

  44. Festus

    Fuck it! I’m declining my OT shift tonight. I haven’t had more than a one day break in two months. After that bullshit yesterday and the fact that I bulled through work on will power alone last night tells me that I need to do it. Having to sit for a minute to collect yourself is a bad look. These stupid mask mandates are not helping, either.

    • westernsloper

      Dood, ya take a night off. Not good to work that much.

      • straffinrun

        Then he can drink with us later.

      • westernsloper

        Exactly!

  45. The Late P Brooks

    *raises fist in solidarity with Festus*

    • Festus

      *Hoists the Jolly Roger and starts planning breakfast* (I have right to refuse, so it’s not like Atticca or anything)

  46. KromulentKristen

    Time to go chase auroras in northern Europe

    • straffinrun

      Hope you get one.

      • robc

        Like with tornadoes, what do you do if you catch one? Stuff it and mount it on the wall?

      • UnCivilServant

        You gotta use plasticizer on tornados, and a magnetic bottle on auroras.

        Sheesh. It’s as if you don’t do meteorological taxidermy.

      • robc

        That sounds like a good bit for a fantasy story. If only I knew a fantasy author to suggest it to….

    • pistoffnick

      “Time to go chase auroras…”

      Is that what you kids are calling it these days?

    • Not Adahn

      Don’t go chasing auroras, stick to the lightning and the stars that you’re used to.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      Don’t go chasing auroras now
      Stick to the stars and the planets that you used to know.

  47. straffinrun

    This talk of double masking makes me think I should set up the camping tent in my living room.

    • Gustave Lytton

      +1 best sofa fort ever!

  48. Pope Jimbo

    Color me confused. Minnesoda superintendent is in big trouble for …. plagiarism?

    Rochester Public Schools Superintendent Michael Muñoz is facing new allegations of plagiarism, two months after he apologized — and had his pay docked — for plagiarizing most of his Thanksgiving message to school staff.

    After Muñoz’s apology and the school board’s vote to suspend him for five days, a parent in the district found other possible examples of plagiarism.

    The parent shared the findings with local media organizations: Significant sections of graduation speeches Muñoz delivered in 2019 and 2020, as well as an April letter to students and families about COVID-19, appear to include multiple passages lifted from letters and speeches written by other educators around the country. Meanwhile, a tweet Muñoz posted in September about his visits to elementary classrooms during the pandemic matches, almost word for word, a tweet posted two weeks earlier by a high school principal in Alabama.

    I don’t understand this story at all. He’s in trouble for cribbing some crap in a message to his employees? And I can’t even begin to fathom the emotional scars left on those poor kids when they discover that his graduation speech was copied.

    Surely Joe Biden will pardon him?

    • straffinrun

      Copy, paste, tar and feather the man.

      • Pope Jimbo

        He should fuck them over by saying “In the Latinix community the highest honor you can give someone is to copy their words”. Then we’d see how the mob would scatter.

        And as long as he wasn’t copying long graduation speeches, I can’t see me getting too upset.

    • BakedPenguin

      Well, whoever named that town plagiarized NY, so kinda hypocritical…

    • Festus

      +1 #FWEEDOM

    • Rebel Scum

      Biden definitely knows the perils of plagiarism.

      • Festus

        I used to copy encyclopedia entries and re-word them for essays in high school. The secret to getting away with it was that the teachers didn’t give a shit.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Hell, half of them told us to do exactly that.

  49. R C Dean

    A little noticed EO from Biden that weaponizes every federal agency to go full-bore leftist bodes very ill for the future of the country:

    These recommendations should provide concrete suggestions on how the regulatory review process can promote public health and safety, economic growth, social welfare, racial justice, environmental stewardship, human dignity, equity, and the interests of future generations. The recommendations should also include proposals that would ensure that regulatory review serves as a tool to affirmatively promote regulations that advance these values.

    • kbolino

      Don’t we have a legislature to make law?

      • UnCivilServant

        They’ve done enough of that, now we need a body to unmake law.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Experts have determined that the one way you can lose your cushy Congress job is to pass an actual law. Do something stupid like that and people can hold you responsible for “unintended” consequences.

        The trick is to either empower the unelected bureaucrats to make decisions or wait until your party has the Presidency and have them issue EO’s.

        Then when your constituents get mad, you say “Whoa! I didn’t make that rule. And I am just as upset as you are. You can count on me to get to the bottom of this”

    • westernsloper

      Shirley there will be long list of lawsuits filed by the ACLU against the Biden regime for the 3 dozen dictats over the past week.

      • Pope Jimbo

        The problem is that Biden has a team working for him.

        It isn’t like other presidents where they set their own agenda and are limited in scope to only their personal desires.

  50. Pope Jimbo

    A ray of sunshine story about a 2.5 mile long skating path in northen Minnesoda

    With school in session virtually and more time spent at home, Jared Olafson’s and his neighbor’s kids thought it would be fun to connect their two ice rinks on the Warroad River. Their dads got to work — and then kept going.

    They’ve now connected seven rinks and cleared even more ice, creating a skate path that spans 2.5 miles. They call it the Riverbend Skate Path.

    Hold on! Maybe this isn’t a warm and fuzzy story after all. I can’t believe that MPR chose to promote these shitlords:

    It’s a community effort. Neighbors, including high school students, started maintaining the path with plows attached to all-terrain vehicles. Then Polaris Industries in nearby Roseau donated a power broom, and Ironhide Equipment in Grand Forks, N.D., donated a Bobcat work machine with a second broom.

    I’m sorry, but I didn’t see a single mention of any government agency in that statement? How can something be done without including the govt? And a multi-state effort should require even more red tape. How dare these Domestic Terrorists do something without getting the State’s approval?

      • Pope Jimbo

        I used to have a similar permit, but my wife revoked it.

    • juris imprudent

      Interstate commerce? [Feds kick local bureaucrats to the side.]

    • Festus

      Replace image of Ron Paul in the “It’s Happening!” GIF with Hillary’s dumb-struck face when the balloons fell.

  51. Mojeaux

    @Scruffy — How did your showdown with your arch-nemesis at high noon on dusty Main Street go?

    • Festus

      Took a second. Nicely played, Mojo!

      • Mojeaux

        Heh. I wanna know, dammit! Don’t drop a “I’m about to have it out with my 14yo XX” and then not follow up!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Moderately well. Thanks for asking. No explosions, but as usual you can tell she’s got scenarios playing out in the back of her head as she’s pandering to us.

      She’s 14 and is holding back information, as to be expected. She hates her parents, thinks we don’t care about her, thinks we’re stupid, etc…

      She’s battling for control and is willing to be completely passive-aggressive about it. So I’m trying to find ways to give her control and defuse the other routes she might be or is currently tempted to take.

      I have to be more conniving than her, which I don’t care for at all as I tend to be blunt. The direct approach will not work.

      In other words, she’s a 14 year old girl. An angry, hormonal, 14 year old girl.

      • Mojeaux

        Good luck with your connivering. Mr. Mojeaux and I aren’t smart enough to know how to do that. Blunt isn’t best, but when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Right now, 17.5 XX is champing at the bit to get out of the house (TBF, she really just wants to get away from XY), and while I’m worried, I’m glad she’s not getting married just to get out of the house (which is what girls my age did way back in the day).

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Mostly, I want to avoid the self-destructive behaviors like eating disorders, etc…

        I can’t control her emotions towards me, it’s not worth trying.

      • Mojeaux

        I can’t control her emotions towards me, it’s not worth trying.

        Thank you. I needed that reminder.

      • Festus

        What worked(?) with my teens was them knowing that I was two or three moves ahead of them at every turn. It made for some fireworks but they all have great respect for me as a man. It really helps to put yourself in their shoes for a moment. That’s how you trip them up!

      • UnCivilServant

        well, yeah, they try to put on their shoes and find you’re already wearing them, that does kinda trip them up.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Not sure if it’s working yet. We’ll see.

  52. Ownbestenemy

    Another fun conversation with my neighbor: Based on past conversations with this neighbor, this person he helped move were from all accounts good friends. BBQ together, dine together, etc.

    Him “I helped Joe move some boxes and I came across a confederate flag. I told him we can’t be friends anymore”

    Me “Not that it is your business, you didn’t think to maybe get some context or history behind it?”

    Him “Would the *gives air quotes* ‘context’ change if it were a Nazi flag?”

    Me “I think you and I shouldn’t talk anymore”

    • kbolino

      When did so many people become such fucking pussies?

      No offense to cats or vaginas.

      • EvilSheldon

        If it was a Nazi banner, it was probably a war trophy handed down from a relative. So the context would actually change in his favor.

      • Ownbestenemy

        The issue is this neighbor already formulated the context that “Joe” must be a white-supremacist or worse a Trump supporter and insurrectionist for having a confederate flag buried in boxes that probably haven’t been opened since they moved in to the house.

      • Gustave Lytton

        *cue Nazi shop from Falling Down*

      • robc

        I got my CCDW license with a pistol with swastikas on it. It was a war trophy.

        On the other hand, the guy next to me in the class had swastika tattoos on his hand, so he was probably a nazi.

        Context clearly matters.

    • Festus

      Yikes! Sorry, Friend. The whole world’s filled with crazy people.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Eh. Its just this person didn’t even want to find out…maybe a former history teacher, maybe its a family heirloom, maybe he likes it, but instead straight to inferring the dude is a racist or something. At least I know the house that when the world goes to shit to either chase out of the neighborhood or keep a close eye on.

      • Festus

        The “air quotes” were a dead giveaway.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Which means he was inferring that I was in the same boat. Like I said, no skin off my back and now I know when you come knocking at my door for food and water, I might have to ask him if the “context” matters.

      • Festus

        I’ve run across his sort before *spits*

      • Agent Cooper

        Could also have been a re-enactor or something.

      • Festus

        Stop trying to defend him. It will only make circumstances worse for you!

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Sounds like old Joe dodged a bullet, you too.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Him “Would the *gives air quotes* ‘context’ change if it were a Nazi flag?”

      You mean like the numerous war souvenirs in the attics of the Greatest Generation™️?

      • Ownbestenemy

        I could have stayed and argued that..but it was very clear at this point that we should never speak again.

    • Chipwooder

      My neighbor, who is pretty much an old redneck (but a terrific, helpful neighbor) across the street had long had a Confederate battle flag on the pole on his shed/workshop. I noticed recently that he replaced it with the Bonnie Blue Flag, I guess because few people will recognize that as a Confederate flag.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Guy down on the corner has the stars and bars hanging in his garage/storage barn. I was going to joke about how triggered I felt spotting it the other day when he had his doors open. Sadly real life has overtaken satire.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      A house near me had a Confederate flag flying in the front yard. While I don’t necessarily think it makes him a Klansman, I do have to wonder why someone would fly that flag in his front yard.

      • Festus

        Cause he felt like it?

      • Pine_Tree

        I don’t wonder that at all.

        Lots of quiet folks out there are still definitely in the “heritage, not hate”, camp, and think yer nuts to equate it with racism.

        Nobody here at Glibs really seems to get it.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        That’s certainly a possibility, but it’s kind of odd to see it in the Bay Area.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I equate it with losing.

      • Festus

        I equate with people that feel stepped on, right or wrong.

      • R C Dean

        When I was growing up, it had zero to do with racism, and not much to do with heritage. It was just an “I’m a redneck rebel, woohoo” thing.

      • Pine_Tree

        Yeah, that too.

      • rhywun

        +2 good ol’ boys

      • juris imprudent

        I kinda shake my head seeing them in my neck of the woods – north of the Mason-Dixon line.

      • Festus

        Some folk like to poke the bear. Not my style but it’s a “free” country.

      • Agent Cooper

        He’s probably a “rebel.”

      • Festus

        and a “loner”.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        Just wants to find his bike.

      • Agent Cooper

        Steer clear, Dottie.

    • Agent Cooper

      I want to know when we decided unfounded certitude is more righteous than open curiosity.

      • Festus

        September 11, 2001.

      • Agent Cooper

        Perhaps. But more recently it’s been easier to shut down conversation with anything uncomfortable than to try to even understand or reason it out. It’s insane.

  53. The Late P Brooks

    Don’t we have a legislature to make law?

    Stop it. You’re killing me.

    • kbolino

      As far as an alien who didn’t get the civics propaganda of an American public school would think, the purpose of the legislature is to hand out money in ever more complicated ways, while the mid ranks of the executive branch make the laws that people actually have to follow.

  54. Hyperion

    “Warm up your boats for tragic firearm losses.”

    What firearms?

    Get ready for the butter knife registry coming up next.

  55. The Late P Brooks

    I’m sorry, but I didn’t see a single mention of any government agency in that statement? How can something be done without including the govt? And a multi-state effort should require even more red tape. How dare these Domestic Terrorists do something without getting the State’s approval?

    WHERE IS THEIR ENVIRONMENTAL IMPACT STATEMENT?

  56. The Late P Brooks

    “Would the *gives air quotes* ‘context’ change if it were a Nazi flag?”

    Probably. Maybe his grandfather took it as spoils of war.

  57. The Late P Brooks

    the purpose of the legislature is to hand out money in ever more complicated ways, while the mid ranks of the executive branch make the laws that people actually have to follow.

    As has been said many times in many ways, the single most important job of a legislator is running for re-election. It’s the only demonstrable skill they have.

  58. Pope Jimbo

    Psaki walks back Biden’s comments on vaccines being totes available in Spring

    White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki walked back President Biden’s comments that the COVID-19 vaccine would be available to any American who wants it by the spring, telling reporters on Tuesday that the vaccine will not be widely available by then.

    Biden, on Monday, predicted every American who wanted a vaccine would be able to get one by springtime.

    But Psaki squashed that expectation Tuesday.

    “What the president’s goal is, is ensuring that there’s greater availability in the spring,” Psaki said. “He will push his team…This is his focus every single day.”

    She added: “But the fact is, is every American is not going to be eligible this spring.”

    According to her it isn’t just the lack of vaccine, it is also the lack of vaccination centers and plans by states to get everyone dosed.

    This should be a slam on both Trump and Biden. How the fuck did Trump admins not start telling states to plan for vaccinating their populations? Get them to create plans and create infrastructure for it? And it isn’t like Biden’s administration is covering itself in glory either.

    And why didn’t Big Pharma start stockpiling vaccine while the tests were going on? At some point, wouldn’t you say, “Look, we are through 99% of the tests and everything is looking good. Why don’t we start up production lines and create a stockpile of this stuff?” Are the ingredients of the vaccine that expensive?

    Any decently run logistics company in the private sector would have pretty much gotten everyone over 60 vaccinated by now.

    • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

      Hell, if you’d given Walmart the exclusive contract for delivering vaccines, they’d have everybody in North America vaccinated within three months, plus we’d all have 15%-off coupons to Walmart as a “Thank You” for getting vaccinated.

      Big Gov is teh suck.

      • Pope Jimbo

        But people might have received The Cure in the wrong order.

        Don’t you think it is better we wait an extra year to get dosed in order to make sure people get The Cure according to their Social Credit score?

      • Pope Jimbo

        How long before Experian starts running commercials promising to be able to boost your Social Credit Score?

      • Rat on a train

        Should we start or end with Disintegration?

      • rhywun

        End. Otherwise you’re a weirdo.

      • Festus

        Free eye exams, too!

    • westernsloper

      And why didn’t Big Pharma start stockpiling vaccine while the tests were going on? At some point, wouldn’t you say, “Look, we are through 99% of the tests and everything is looking good. Why don’t we start up production lines and create a stockpile of this stuff?” Are the ingredients of the vaccine that expensive?

      If memory serves, they were. How many were sent overseas?

      The thing that gets me is they vaccinate almost 200,000 people (?) with a flu vaccine every year but struggle with this vaccine. The one thing I see different is local govs are setting up vaccination sites ran by idiot local gov workers rather than send it to the pharmacies and doc offices where they can actually distribute it efficiently. Central planning at the local level is often worse than at the national level.

      • Viking1865

        Yep the attempt to make some kind of perfect fairness instead of just getting needles in arms is pretty fucking dumb.

      • kbolino

        The federal government and most state governments have regulations and procedures that pretty much guarantee every action they take is carried out ineptly. They also have extremely sclerotic bureaucracies that can barely perform their nominal functions, never mind turn on a dime and carry out some new function. The government uses massive amounts of cash to paper over these inefficiencies but every time some “crisis” hits, it becomes apparent (to the public) again. Sometimes, a serious reform is undertaken, and changes things for a particular office, agency, or if you’re really lucky whole department. But then GSA or some watchdog/inspector comes along and finds out they did it mostly by ignoring the byzantine rules, and a bunch of people who made it happen take early retirement or at least get shuffled around to where they can’t do anything useful anymore, and the reform org gets skinsuited by money pit mandarins.

        This, we are told, is the only system we are all a part of, and should be most proud of, as Americans.

      • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

        Biden, on Monday, predicted every American who wanted a vaccine would be able to get one by springtime.
        . . .
        She added: “But the fact is, is every American is not going to be eligible this spring.”

        “You fucked up. You trusted us.”

      • westernsloper

        *oops, left out a couple 3 zeros on the flu vaccine number.

    • B.P.

      “lack of vaccination centers”

      The vaccination center I went to was an auditorium with some desks up front.

      • westernsloper

        The one I am familiar with is in a county building that in the before times held craft fairs and the like. They vaccinate once a week after the state lets them know how many shots they are being sent. They did 100 people this week. This in a county of over 40,000. At that rate they will be vaccinating well into 2022.

    • Festus

      I miss Kayleigh and her Binder of Certitude.

      • Festus

        I mean she stood up there at the podium and basically dealt out “You Lie!”

  59. The Late P Brooks

    Yep the attempt to make some kind of perfect fairness instead of just getting needles in arms is pretty fucking dumb.

    And we’re right back to Socialism 101: It’s better if nobody gets the shot than letting people get it in the wrong order.

  60. ignoreLander

    “Reddit forum called “wallstreetbets” somewhat randomly decide to keep short-sellers from laying waste to a brick-and-mortar retail video game company called GameStop”

    Fucking Taibbi man. It wasn’t “random” in any way; it was a researched and well thought out strategy, perfectly executed. Once a leftist, always a leftist. Even when he accidentally manages to be right about something, he screws it up with his incompetence.