The Gwen

by | Feb 25, 2021 | Fiction | 279 comments

 

The Return

18 years, out and and back at High Gee, we found the planet, surveyed it, and sent the data back to Mars, by the time we get back, the colony ships will be halfway there.I dream of my sweet Gwendolen, in stasis back home, we may be forty when we meet, but we will be rich.

 I get a call from the first mate, an old friend and even older sailor, telling me we have a problem on Mars, and what may that be, I ask? “Mars is gone” is his answer…….

Setting a fast course to Mars involves an Earth flyby, so we set course, as We rounded the planet there was a soft voice in the back of my mind calling to me, stay,  as we left Earth’s gravity well I couldn’t escape the voice.

  “On station Sir” I heard but wasn’t really thinking about much more than the devastation below, our Planet, 500 years to build, independent, an entire planet, gone, who did this?

 (memory access, date, 2211)

After the CCP blew up enough satellites that we Couldn’t launch, creating an almost impenetrable barrier to space, Elon kept flying, losing one in twenty Marsliners, better than any government, and Mars was reborn, as an independent colony. After the War of 2105, the Earth had had enough, a small SMOD came down in The English Channel, and Albion was finally lost, to the sea.

(close access)

 “Do we go down?” I’m not sure, or ready to see, but I set the coordinates for Gwen’s stasis Unit, and after a moment’s hesitation we head in to atmosphere, Damn I wish we had Buffeting Tech in these old machines, the Atmo stresses the hell out of this old bird, but we’ll be fine..

“Skimmers out Sir!” as I climb into the lead boat, the silence is deafening, my city, gone!

Of course the Stasis building still stands, it was built that way, so it’s part of the story, anyway,

As I approach I hear a voice, help me, please, is that Gwen? Or am I mad, losing your planet can do that you know. As I search through the rubble, I find what’s left of her chamber, her Dead inside, and weep.

 All these years gone,

Wasted as fairy tales,

Of lives never lived,

And dreams not shared,

 

 Nuclear Winter had closed all but Kazakhstan,Boca Chica and of all places Auckland, we chose Palmdale, hoping for civilization, and a place to rest. We soon found out that the bikers had overrun the town, so we launched, maybe you could say greyer pastures, at this point we are lost, the Belt? Maybe they won’t blow us out of the sky, I won’t risk it. We don’t have the Fuel or time for Centauri Proxima, so we are stuck in this Gravity well, what to do? I decided the Cylinder at L5 would do and we set off, when something strange appeared on scope.

The Chase

  Damned if it didn’t look like that thing from the old Kubrick movie from the 20th C, remember? The one with the monkeys who took over the Earth? God I love those old movie chips, I digress,

“Sensors, what the hell is that thing?” “Dunno Sir, we can only detect it through the IR spectrum, and hot for a Black body, lot’s of energy in it I’ll bet” I turned away as he stated the obvious, and plotted the things course, turns out it was headed to the same place as us, so we make chase.

 We matched course and speed, keeping out of what we thought was sensor range, and waited, and at this rate it would be two and a half weeks before we even get into signal range to warn L5, then the shit hit the fan. “Captain, they are painting us” Damn it! “Any weapons systems detected?” as if we could tell, “not that I’m aware of” I walked to the forward port and sat down for a smoke, and some thought, my crew knows what they are doing, calm, cool and efficient.

  I woke up under emergency lighting, aching from the increased gravity, What the Hell? “First Officer, what’s our status?” “ not quite sure Cap, I need to stop this infernal spin, and we are accelerating” I pick myself up and get into a grav chair,”get it done First, and would someone tell me where we are pointed?”Sensors pops up cheerily, too cheerily with, “oh, that’s easy Cap, we are on an impact course with Tycho City”

To be continued,

 

About The Author

Yusef drives a Kia

Yusef drives a Kia

Punctually illiterate But never late

279 Comments

  1. westernsloper

    WTF?

    • westernsloper

      “Skimmers out Sir!” as I climb into the lead boat,

      Oil spill?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Land skimmers, it’s called Space Opera,

      • westernsloper

        Ok, I am going to need a dictionary for this.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Sci fi reading is a large Thesaurus, beware!

      • westernsloper

        I’m just messing with you. Thanks for the post.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I know Bro, I’m doing the same, you old Fuck!

  2. straffinrun

    That was fun. Read it in David Bowie’s voice.

    • pistoffnick

      Ground Control to Major Bob.

      • egould310

        Take your protein pills and put your helmet ob.

        Ob? What the hell is an “ob”? Who’s writing this crap?!?!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        i’m writing it, but ob? I can’t say,

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Audio tales? I can do Bowie, sounds intriguing,

      • Trigger Hippie

        “I can do Bowie”

        You’ll have to fight Mo for first dibs.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I am Bowie, she gets first dibs,

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Wut?

      • straffinrun

        I’m just being transfatphobic.

      • hayeksplosives

        I can’t be objective about Streisand because she’s such an insufferable piece of work, but I think she’s overrated.

        She sounded downright flat in that piece.

      • rhywun

        My older bro had a bunch of her records so I have a soft spot for some of that stuff. I liked her “Life on Mars” long before I knew it was a cover.

      • limey

        I never considered it until now, but is it unusual to have two or more gay kids? I can’t think of anyone I’ve known or any famous examples right off the bat.

      • rhywun

        LOL my three brothers are straight but nice try.

        As for your question, multiple gays are more common than you might think. I’ve seen it many times – including one example of three gay brothers.

        Also, an aside – gays are often the youngest child. I’ve seen that so often that I think there’s gotta be something to it.

      • zwak

        My FIL had two gay brothers. They were apparently much older than him, but one raised him after his parents passed.

      • pistoffnick

        I continue to be amazed at Ted’s command of obscure music.

    • Plinker762

      All their trans are skinny.

    • Gustave Lytton

      They’re going back to trans fat?

    • rhywun

      I am more smug than ever in my preference for Hydrox. Suck it, Oreo.

      • Plinker762

        Wow, such racist language.

      • Ted S.

        Hydrox cookies were discontinued quite some time ago, and supposedly the new formulation isn’t like the original Hydrox at all.

      • Gustave Lytton

        RIP Sunshine Biscuits.

      • rhywun

        Figures.

      • Count Potato

        So you missed both the Lady Gaga and Rainbow Oreos?

        Next thing you are going to tell me you live in Bay Ridge with your wife and two kids 😉

      • rhywun

        Yeah, now that being gay isn’t an advantage any more I might as well give up the pretense.

        *scratches crotch, belches*

  3. hayeksplosives

    Ah, Mars. We hardly knew ye.

    I like the premise! Keep the installments coming!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I shall, if TPTB make it so, thanks!

  4. Gustave Lytton

    Tucker has been on a rant roll.

    • hayeksplosives

      Link?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Sorry, wife has it on live. His commentary segment has been extremely snarky.

      • rhywun

        Reality is so fucking stupid lately you’d think it was custom-written for him.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Now he’s going after that warmonger Cheney. Attack! Attack!

  5. Tundra

    War.

    Next up, Iran.

    • Tundra

      Can Tycho City be far behind?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        It’s a Tarp!
        /you been reading ahead?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      If we must, then why not them?
      Except the Persians I met are cool as Fuck,

      • pistoffnick

        Persian ladies?

        *waggles eyebrows*

      • Ownbestenemy

        Persians are not Iranians…at least from what I gathered from my wife’s former boss when she worked in dental.

      • Hyperion

        About half the people living in Iran are Persian, not the mullahs, those are Shiite Muslim assholes.

      • Hyperion

        Well, the mullahs aren’t really Persian, they’re just the chosen oppressors of the Persians.

        Probably the most libertarian person I’ve met in the past 2 decades at one of my current clients, was Iranian. I can tell you that his opinion of the mullahs is not good. I’ll leave it at that because I can’t fit enough swear words on this here blog.

    • straffinrun

      It’s all a “proportionate military response” according to DoD.

      • Tundra

        It’s what we do, Straff. Kill people. Lots of people.

      • dbleagle

        Well it appears we just did in Syria. Bombing an Iranian backed militia should have noooooo long term effect.

      • mikey

        We could bomb an AQ group instead- but they’re the ones we’re supporting.
        Yes, I’m reading Horton.
        HF we are screwed up

      • Gustave Lytton

        Are we waiting for some pretense to accidentally on purpose bomb the Russian advisors and their puppets?

    • pistoffnick

      Well, fuck, that didn’t take long.

      I expect the leftist anti-war contingent will join me in protesting this aggression by the USA.

      Guys? Guys? Hello? Is anybody here?

      • Ownbestenemy

        It has already been spun as a measured and proper response.

      • Tundra

        I’m sure they’ll be here soon. Probably whipping up a few papier-mâché protest figures.

        Any time now…

    • Ownbestenemy

      ahem. Not war. Disciplined reactionary response with measured goals of de-escalating the tension. /CNN

    • pistoffnick

      Straight outa the Obama/Bush playbook.

      This fookin’ prick! He aint got no original ideas. I guess 48 years as a politician does that to a person.

    • KromulentKristen

      Although I think this decision may destroy the Biden Presidency, it still makes me so sad. I don’t really have much room to get any sadder, TBH.

      • blackjack

        LOL. What’s gonna destroy the Biden presidency is when he has a full on stroke and there ain’t no faking it anymore.

      • Playa Manhattan

        Yeah, does he even know about the airstrike yet?

    • Mojeaux

      Mr. Mojeaux: So we’re going to war again.

      Me: Of course.

      Mr. Mojeaux: Oh, you know about it already?

      Me: No, but I knew it was coming.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Close, but not quite,

      • Ownbestenemy

        Just knew it would be that. Not sure why, but just knew.

      • Tundra

        Because I’m fucking predictable?

  6. Agent Cooper

    I’m going OT to complain: Where the fuck does the monocle link keep disappearing to? The sidebar link doesn’t work and in the recent guide to Glibs post, that embed is not found.

    I want a flawless Glibs experience, damn it!!

    • commodious spittoon

      *Glibsperience

    • Agent Cooper

      Found it in the forum. Thanks for nothing you pikers!

      • PudPaisley

        Good one! We must be around the same age because you post a lot of shit I relate to. 50ish?

        “Oh God, dat’s all I neeeeed!!! I don’t wanna get married, Danny!”

        I used to do Maggie’s lines to great laughter from friends.

    • rhywun

      It was archived somewhere so the link is broke. Trashy might have it handy.

  7. trshmnstr the terrible

    we chose Palmdale, hoping for civilization

    From what I’ve heard, that’s a bit of wishful thinking.

    /brother works in Palmdale

  8. straffinrun

    Fuck Gamestop. I’m going long on Raytheon.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        oh FFS!

      • blackjack

        Wrong answer Saki lady! You were supposed to say, that Assad is a bad dude, after firing both barrels in the air as a warning, I had to shoot him. At least I shot him in the legs.

      • blackjack

        Oh, and I took him out back of the gymnasium and shot him there!

      • Plinker762

        We should have just parachuted in guys with chains.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Nice callback…like it will matter, but still a good reminder of how their principles are what they say they are. There are five lights.

      • mrfamous

        “”First and foremost, the first pilot who launched the airstrike is a non-white trans woman.”

        snerk

      • Gustave Lytton

        She’s circling back so furiously, she’s about to go full circle.

      • limey

        Everybody knows you never go full circle.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Aha! That…I see that…

    • pistoffnick

      LockMart!

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      Before the 2020 election I suspected a “return to normalcy” so I bought Raytheon stock. I made a pretty penny and then felt dirty so I donated the earnings to the Libertarian Institute

    • Ownbestenemy

      Raytheon is so 2010s. L3 Harris is the up and coming…

    • db

      I saw a guy at the gun store this evening who was a dead ringer for their guitarist.

  9. mikey

    This is fun Yusef.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Thanks, your positive comment, I will keep the story going, I have more,

  10. Ownbestenemy

    Fun read Yusef. Also love the new avatar with the smiling face!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Clean face FTW! thanks OBE,

      • hayeksplosives

        Happy picture!

        I guess I should put up an unmasked one.

        I’m just pouting because my employer is mandating COVID tests starting next month.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        and you can’t quit, Fuckers

      • blackjack

        We’ve been every other Wednesday since last May. At least it’s just the highly unreliable spit stick type.

      • hayeksplosives

        What’s the reasoning?

      • mikey

        You’re so funny.

      • blackjack

        L.A. has cheap and easy testing. The accuracy is questionable, but they can test huge amounts of people. They’ve had a few positives, sent them home for quarantines. Not sure what the motivation is other than liability avoidance.

  11. limey

    a small SMOD came down in The English Channel, and Albion was finally lost, to the sea.

    Fiddlesticks.

      • limey

        Britannia ‘neath the waves

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      You go First Bredda,

  12. "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

    I guess we’re back to being ISIS air support. Very cool

    Universal draft now, with zero exemptions for college. We need body bags coming home to SoHo and Lincoln Park for this madness to end

    • Ted S.

      The connected are still going to get out of the draft.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Yes the Bezos, Trumps, and Bidens of the world will find a way out. The vast majority of upper income people would not be able to avoid the draft. Suddenly the people in Lincoln Park will have to, for the first time in their lives, seriously consider the policies they support and whether it’s worth sacrificing their child because of one of the ever changing excuses for why we must be in Syria

      • Ownbestenemy

        I applaud your optimism, but that just isn’t going to happen.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        American foreign policy, like shutdowns, continue because the wealthy are insulated from the consequences. Make them bear the consequences

      • Ownbestenemy

        Agreed, but it just isn’t going to happen. Who in Congress is going to vote in a draft bill that sends their protected ties to war?

      • straffinrun

        Biden still has one left.

      • Ownbestenemy

        If that coke addled whore could find the business end of a rifle, no one would cry.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        I know it’s a pipedream. But, witnessing congressional opposition will only crystallize the “us vs them” reality of American military adventures

      • Fourscore

        Cornpop’s kids will all be there.

      • Rat on a train

        The same applies to organizational policies. They get thrown out as soon as they impact management.

      • hayeksplosives

        Tom Woods had a good series last week with Scott Horton on the Iraq war and the “war on terror.”

        It was tough to listen to, knowing how I felt about it 20 years ago and knowing how badly @
        “We” had screwed up.

        Here’s the link to the first installment https://tomwoods.com/ep-1836-the-roots-of-the-war-on-terror/

        You can listen to the others after clicking “podcasts” snd scrolling down.

      • Trigger Hippie

        ‘It was tough to listen to, knowing how I felt about it 20 years ago and knowing how badly @
        “We” had screwed up.’

        This.

        I can’t speak from an insider’s point of view here but, I can say I was in my early twenties and still very much the Neo-Con/American Imperialist at that point. By 2006 I was blessedly wise enough to know it was principals over principles in the two party system and opted out.

        …Hate to say it…”9/11 Was an Inside Job” doesn’t sound so damn far-fetched anymore.

        In light of the last year’s actions by our government, I gave the ruling class far too much credit in regards to having any connection to the rest of humanity than I should’ve.

        American Exceptionalism, my ass.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        As they should, service equal Citizenship!
        /at least it should,

      • straffinrun

        I ain’t no fortunate son.

      • pistoffnick

        It aint me, it aint me.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I aint no senator’s son.

      • Fourscore

        Didn’t the SC just rule an all male draft was unconstitutional? If not I see a lot of transgendering going on.

        “Yeah, I’m beginning to feel all feminine. No draft registration for me”

      • Ownbestenemy

        If they didn’t, they should.

      • straffinrun

        You’ll see more females in the NFL draft.

      • Gustave Lytton

        18 Only the father, since he committed extortion and robbed his brother, and did what was not good among his people—he will die because of his sin!

        19 You ask: “Why is not the son charged with the guilt of his father?” Because the son has done what is just and right and has been careful to observe all my statutes—he shall surely live!

        20 Only the one who sins shall die. The son shall not be charged with the guilt of his father, nor shall the father be charged with the guilt of his son. Justice belongs to the just, and wickedness to the wicked.

        The warmongers and cheerleaders might shed a tear for their lost loved one, but it won’t change their opinion nor their support overall. That was eminently true during Vietnam where there was an age disconnect in opinion about the war.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Fair point. I’d counter that we haven’t seen antiwar protests nearly as large as the Vietnam era, because we eliminated the draft.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Selfishness is a powerful motivator.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Bringing up WWII, there were several examples of others happy to throw their fellow Americans into the meat grinder if they themselves didn’t have to serve- married men, men over the age cutoff, etc.

        Lewis Hershey enslaved the most Americans by far over the course of his career, far more than any other single man. I hope he’s nice and toasty now.

      • creech

        Married men were subject to being drafted in WWII. There would have been a shit ton of marriages of convenience had marital status gotten one out of the war.

      • blackjack

        The draft was barely needed in WW2. There were lot’s of guys lying about their age to enlist. Different kind of people back then, although a lot of people were feeling similar after 9-11. There’s a bunch more enthusiasm when we get attacked. Hell, I almost tried to go, but I was aged out already (just barely).

      • Gustave Lytton

        https://blogs.shu.edu/ww2-0/1942/06/26/married-men-to-get-draft-deferment-for-now/

        61% of WWII servicemen were draftees. The 39% that volunteered is probably overstated with the threat of a draft behind it. The fact is, WWII was fought with a slave army and FDR started the enslaving in August 1940, well over a year before Pearl Harbor.

        https://www.nationalww2museum.org/students-teachers/student-resources/research-starters/research-starters-us-military-numbers

      • blackjack

        I stand corrected. In ‘Nam it was 70% volunteer and 30% draftees. Despite that, the backlash against the draft was far higher, which maybe makes my first point in a roundabout way.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Funny how that is. Similar to WWII, there were some incentives to enlist. Possibly choice of branch, MOS, or avoiding Vietnam. My pops did ROTC and four years as an officer rather than roll the dice.

        Conversely, a good buddy left college to enlist, served in the 101st (including at Dong Ap Bia), and later served in Iraq. Most humble and impressive man I’ve met.

      • mikey

        The VN war protests basically dried up after Nixon ended the draft (too late for me).

    • Gustave Lytton

      What’s the age cutoff? Asking for a friend.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        As far as I’m concerned they should just staple the draft card to the high school diploma. Before they go off to college they’ll just have to survive the meat grinder that their parents supported when it was just the poors dying

      • Rat on a train

        I registered for selective service in basic training.

      • Ownbestenemy

        4A discharge…unless Congress passes a law, I will never don the nation’s uniform ever again.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Jack up the Dow Jones!

      • Chipwooder

        Second time Let’s Have a War appears in the comments today – what are the odds?

    • Gustave Lytton

      Several years ago I did a back of the envelope calculation. Something like 15% or less of the population actually donned a uniform at *any* point during WWII, and 85%+ didn’t. The percentages for the current conflicts wasn’t that far off, maybe 10 percentage points then. That difference would be even less today.

      • creech

        I read in some history book that Nazi Germany had less than 20% of its military-aged male population under arms. The highest percentage in the U.S. was probably during the Civil War.

    • blackjack

      Remember when Trump said he could shoot a guy on 5th Avenue and he’d still have support? This is Biden’s version, except he’s actually doing it. He’s fucking up everything he can, just to prove that the media will still fawn all over him. It’s crazy to watch.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Except I don’t think anyone who didn’t want war voted for Biden. Biden was pretty explicit that he wanted more war.

      • blackjack

        Of the 40 million people who voted for him, there’s at least some who wanted to bomb the shit out of people who don’t matter to us at all. There’s probably a similar amount who voted against him and wanted the same. When you have the world’s biggest gun, it’s tempting to shoot it off once in a while. At least it is for all the assholes of the nation.

      • pistoffnick

        “When you have the world’s biggest gun, it’s tempting to shoot it off once in a while.”

        You know who else had the biggest gun?

      • UnCivilServant

        The inventer of the gonne?

      • blackjack

        Does he rhyme with Puff Daddy’s real name?

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        For sure. No doubt warmongers voted for Trump too. It’s not like he was the peacenik candidate. From my limited experience, though, I know two guys who voted opposite of one another. One guy voted Trump and thinks that the Syrian War is the dumbest shit in the world. The other guy vocally supported Biden and thought that Trump tried to pull troops out of Syria to appease Russia. Guess which one has a kid serving in the military?

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        And that’s where the universal draft with zero exemptions come in. You really think the one guy would spout such asinine talk about ending war being bad if his son were on the chopping block? He needs to see his neighbors kids come back in a bag with a sticker reading “parts missing” in order to think clearly. I want him to think clearly.

      • straffinrun

        I get the point of what you’re advocating, but given the draft is immoral, that solution is fighting evil with evil. I can’t go there.

    • Hyperion

      “I guess we’re back to being ISIS air support. Very cool”

      Look, we’re only supporting the good terrorists against the bad terrorists… wait, that’s not right, all the terrorists are now right wingers here in the USA.

      So, let’s bomb the shit out of em and bring the ones left here as refugees. It’s the American way! Plus, jobs! Why do you hate the military industrial complex workers?

      Killing energy jobs = baaaddddd!

      More jobs for pentagon cronies = goooodddd!!!

    • Mojeaux

      https://twitter.com/Vodkalimonhielo/status/1365061762094157828

      “That’s Argentina. My country. It’s no Spain. It was 2016.”

      “What were they protesting?”

      “The goverment at that time try to index the retirement money but they are the communist opposition. Very complex to understand. They prefer be poor but not to allow the rigth improve peoples life.”

      • straffinrun

        OK. I still love the imagery of it.

      • Hyperion

        They can’t be Spain because all the folks down there is good peoples of color. /says good lefties who’ve never been there

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        I had a Spanish office mate in grad school who claimed WOC status.

        My Brazilian wife laughed at her, asking how a country that once dominated massive chunks of the world via colonialism and the slave trade could now claim minority status.

    • hayeksplosives

      Figurative or literal?

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Literal. After 3 years in VA, I had forgotten what it was like when a thunderstorm rolls through here in TX.

      • hayeksplosives

        I miss the sound. As an Oklahoma girl, I took thunderstorms for granted.

        I often sleep with a thunderstorm track playing .

    • UnCivilServant

      Wait, we have deliberate organ harvesting in our correction centers? And I thought we haven’t rounded up whole ethnic groups since FDR kicked it.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Maybe not organ harvesting, but we as a whole, have turned a blind eye to the extra-judicial nature of the American prison culture. I wouldn’t want to end up in either because my punishment of losing my freedom is near guarantee I will lose much much more.

      • UnCivilServant

        When we go back to rounding up whole communities with the intent of exerminating them in a sytematic ethnic clensing crusade, I’ll concede a parallel.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Okay.

      • blackjack

        We do some fucked up shit, but nothing anywhere near the level of fucked up many others do. CCP seems like it’s in a hurry to cement itself as the world’s most evil. Good thing for them, they have Biden to give them cover.

      • Hyperion

        “CCP seems like it’s in a hurry to cement itself as the world’s most evil.”

        And Chiney Jo is blowing dictators both great and small as fast as he can to help them succeed.

      • KSuellington

        The CCP won 2020 in a big way. By all rights they should have lost that year, but they have gotten the West to behave almost like they do. They must have had lots of laughs over how easy it was.

    • Hyperion

      Sure, except for now, they aren’t in there for committing crimes, they’re there for their identity. Soon though, here, they’ll be there for the same.

      Chinese Uyghurs == mostly hetero white male Christians or Trump voters.

  13. "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

    Between keeping the “kids and cages” (now with new branding!), not abiding by the negotiated Afghanistan withdrawal, and the increase in troops in Afghanistan- there are no bigger clowns in American politics than the “libertarians for Biden” bitches.

    I guess some “libertarians” just love using government to impose federalized pee pee rules more than opposing wholesale murder.

    • straffinrun

      Libertarians should cede the anti war high ground to the populist right.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Pretty sure that’s already happened, unless the Mises crowd were to take over the LP. Normies think of Reason and CATO when they think “libertarian” and all they see is “ah, war is totes libertarian so long as you support federalized pee pee laws. Sounds dumb.”

      • straffinrun

        Judging by Twitter, those Biden libertarians are vastly outnumbered.

  14. Muzzled Woodchipper

    Well at least whatever this bullshit is, it isn’t Cardiac Arrest Part 3.

  15. Hank

    “World Ends – Women, Minorities Hardest Hit”

    Sorry, that was a Washington Post-Apocalyptic headline.

    • hayeksplosives

      Eye toll of grudging appreciation…

    • Hyperion

      Uh hmmm, you mean:

      “World Ends – Women, Minorities, Xes Hardest Hit”

  16. hayeksplosives

    I haven’t heard from my husband’s doc today. I suppose no news is good news.

    The mister is still in the hospital, almost a week now. He sounded a bit more like himself today, so that’s good. His best quality is his sense of humor, but it’s been absent lately so its return is a good sign.

    I still have a bunch of questions for the docs, but I will be patient.

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      I hope he gets better. Sorry to hear about the long hospital stay. The separation from loved ones that they are imposing at these hospitals is inhumane.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        As someone who’s only sitting in the ER for 3 hours with my wife having to wait in the car, I concur.

        It’s inhumane.

      • Gender Traitor

        Wait – wut?? Whahappen??

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        I’ve had 2 heart attacks by age 40. The first when I was 33.

        When something doesn’t feel right for enough time, I’ll go to the ER to get checked out in an effort to stem off heart attack #3. Somehow I don’t get the impression that the “3rd time is a charm” works with heart attacks. And things haven’t felt right for a couple days. Weird dull pain. Sluggish. And it wasn’t getting better after 2 days. So once I told my wife that I’d been feeling bad, she told me to get ready to go to the hospital.

        When we got there we were told she couldn’t go in with me.

        Forget that she’s sitting in the car freaking out that I might be in the throes of a third heart attack, or that I might be freaking out about it while I’m by myself in an ER getting poked and prodded, hooked up to machines, xrays, and the rest of the bit.

        Forget all that. Forget that I could have greatly used her comfort, or that just being there would be reassuring to both of us.

        There’s Covid to worry about.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Get better. I’m sorry to hear that. And I hope you are reading this from a hospital room, rather than the waiting room. What a heartless world we’ve created

      • Gender Traitor

        Yikes! I hope it turns out to be nothing serious and that you get to go home ASAP.

        Are you in CA? Hearing about their hospital visitation restrictions, I’m reminded of how lucky I was to be able to stay with Tom T the entire time he was in the hospital with his Christmas stroke. [Side note: two months to the day after the mild stroke that affected his left side, Tom T went to his favorite local Open Mic and played guitar better than anyone else in the room, if I do say so myself.]

        Please feel better and keep us posted as you’re able, Muzz!

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        All is well, or at least there isn’t anything amiss with my heart.

        EKG was fine. The bloodwork came out like it should. Xrays didn’t show anything going on in my chest. BP and pulse are all well within normal range.

        Still that weird feeling in my chest though, so I’m still in recon mode, but feel better about all the important stuff checking in okay.

        I’m thinking maybe stress has set in a bit. All of us are under tremendous amounts of stress these days, and it’s just not letting up. People can only take so much before it starts to manifest in any number of ways.

      • Gender Traitor

        So glad to hear the tests were clean! I hope you can get at the source of the problem and feel better quicker.

      • hayeksplosives

        I’ve always been able to make sure the nurses don’t ignore a request, like for a glass of water or another blanket.

        He’s on his own now, but says they’re taking care of him.

    • Hank

      Let’s hope all scenarios are best-case.

      • straffinrun

        Yep.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Ditto. Hang in there, HE.

    • Mojeaux

      Wait, what? When did he go into the hospital and for what?

      Fingers crossed for a speedy discharge.

    • KromulentKristen

      Man, that’s a long time. I hope he mends up soon.

    • Hyperion

      Sorry to hear he’s in there. Hope he gets better soon and gets out of there. Those places are not good. Last time I was in there, I couldn’t get any sleep because the nurses would wake me up every couple hours to take another pill or poke me with needles.

    • db

      Wow, I’m sorry to hear he’s still in the hospital. It has to be difficult. Are your questions about the future or the history of what happened?

      • hayeksplosives

        The future. History I understand.

        But for the heart damage. When do we look at heart valve replacement? He will have to be healthy for that. How much time off work will I have to take? Or do I pay a nurse?

        Etc.

      • blackjack

        I feel for you. All of that will get worked out. You don’t have to make any decisions until the time comes. Just do your best and know we all care. You’ll be fine and hopefully, so will Mr. Explosives.

      • db

        You don’t need to hear it from me, but make sure they know you’re engaged and needing to know the process. I know what it’s like, trying to balance that need to know without asking too many questions you know they don’t have answers to, yet. But you expect there will be answers and want to know the plan.

  17. hayeksplosives

    Even after COVID craziness is gone, the weaknesses in our state governments remain.

    The legislatures need to pass laws to restrain “emergency powers” and to ensure people’s rights are not infringed in an emergency.

    And we can’t be calling every damned thing an emergency either. “Crisis” and “emergency” are loaded with emotion snd clearly are ripe for abuse.

    We must be vigilant. I’m going to try to avoid staying too specific to lockdowns and medical “emergencies”; we need to think a few moves ahead and treat our Bill of Rights as not open for negotiation, no matter the situation.

    • Hyperion

      “ensure people’s rights are not infringed in an emergency.”

      Yeah, sure ain’t going to happen. They loves their newfound emergency powers. Look for a vast expansion of said.

      • db

        They can try, but if people want to limit them, they have to try. To simply accept it is to, well, accept it.

      • Hyperion

        You read Twitter any? Around half the people living here will cheer for more.

      • db

        Knock it off with those negative waves.

      • Hyperion

        Tell them to knock it off. I ain’t the one doing it. And I ain’t the media cheering them on. And I ain’t the democrats propping up the dummies.

      • hayeksplosives

        He’s hard hung my mellow, dude!

      • hayeksplosives

        Harshing

      • rhywun

        He’s hard hung

        ?

      • hayeksplosives

        (Facepalm)

      • Hyperion

        Hey, Hayek, don’t be too down, listening to doctor’s first opinions on these things. Doctors in my opinion are nothing if not doom mongers and they will often, always, try to sell a surgery when it’s often not the best alternative or even needed. I have real life experience with heart damage, so I know a little about it. Always get a 2nd or 3rd opinion from any doctor.

        But you know, I’m also a cynical asshole, so probably, definitely don’t listen to me.

        I wish y’all the best, I know how scary this can be and doctors and babbling nurses seem to find a way to scare the bejeebus out of you right off the bat.

      • Hyperion

        Rhywun for the win!

      • Mojeaux

        hard hung

        My eyebrow rose.

      • Hyperion

        No need to raise eyebrows! Rhywun is a man of much intuition!

      • Plinker762

        hard hung + hospital = Garp?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        ther’s something to hard hung, hmmm

      • Hyperion

        It’s time to to change your posting name to ‘Yusef got a job’. Congrats, buddy, told you it was going to work out.

    • straffinrun

      Good luck stopping this. The govt looks at the upper middle/lower upper class and thinks, “Lotsa money left for us to take.” And they will in one form or another.

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      Our state legislature has passed several laws.

      Gov vetoed.

      Legislature overrode those vetoes.

      Gov sues because “But muh powa!”

      Now in court.

  18. Hyperion

    File under ‘Crock of horseshit’.

    Chiney Jo SCIENCE!

    TMITE

    • hayeksplosives

      After four dark years of a White House denigrating science and clowning through a public health disaster

      Pass the barf bag, please.

      • Hyperion

        Media confirmed as number one marketing campaign for barf bags.

    • Plinker762

      Thank God that Biden created the vaccine!

    • creech

      Looks like, by costing 159,000 jobs, it would only be about 10% as stupid and evil as the proposed $15 minimum wage.

      • hayeksplosives

        But the important thing is that Biden’s family will be ok. That’s what counts.

        Same exact problem we discussed above about the warmongers being insulated from the consequences of their decisions.

      • rhywun

        That number seems low to me for such a huge change, but what do I know.

        Oh, and the answer is both stupid and evil.

      • hayeksplosives

        Yea! Those were recommended by one of our fellow Glibs.

        To my embarrassment, I don’t remember who it was.

    • Playa Manhattan

      I’ve had this discussion with some of my investing partners.

      Any income/capital gains tax increases will HAVE to be retroactive to the beginning of the year.

      If people know the hike is coming, it will pop the bubble. Investors are sitting on trillions of unrealized capital gains, and they’ll start dumping before January first. It will absolutely crash the stock market.

      • KSuellington

        When will the bill come due for this year they pulled? Can they push it out many more years in the future? When the lockdowns started I made some predictions, they all have mostly come to pass, but I thought the social unrest we would see would be more focused on the lockdowns themselves, that has not drawn as much protest as I had thought.

      • Playa Manhattan

        In blue states, the public school teacher’s unions are going to get absolutely reamed. They have a lot to answer for, but it will mostly happen at the ballot box.

      • KSuellington

        Man I really hope that you are right. This has been an utter shitshow of terrible government over the past year. I’d really like to see at least a couple positive things happen as a result of it. It feels like this state finally has taken it over the brink.

      • straffinrun

        How’s the recall going?

      • Chafed

        Very well. 1.5 million signatures are needed to put the recall on the ballot. Currently there are 1,8 million signatures. Drive organizers are shooting for 2 million to make sure they clear the bar after signatures are disqualified. Newsom is in deep trouble and he knows it.

      • Chafed

        It sure as hell does. But I don’t think much will change because the state isn’t (yet) experiencing a financial crisis. If that hits then anything is possible.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        This has been an utter shitshow of terrible government over the past year.

        What do you mean?

        This isn’t terrible government. This is NORMAL government.

        It’s terrible all of the time.

      • Chafed

        From your lips to doG’s ears.

      • rhywun

        but I thought the social unrest we would see would be more focused on the lockdowns themselves

        #metoo

        Then I remembered that Antifa has a habit of hijacking, well, everything.

      • KSuellington

        Yeah, I am happy that at least Greasy Gav is getting a bit of heat. I think they will get past the threshold of the Dems being able to toss signatures. They are going to slow walk the recall election though. They are going to try and put it as close to next fall as possible. At least this is a small pushback to the lockdowns though, I view it as that. On my most positive day I still don’t think California is salvageable, but at least we can plug a leak.

  19. straffinrun

    I’m six months away from be able to enrich my own uranium.

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      based

    • hayeksplosives

      Would you like your pallets of cash in 100s or 50s?

  20. Chipwooder

    Insomnia is a motherfucker

    • I'm Here To Help

      Love the profile pic Chipwooder! I grew up in the town where they make Cheerwine, and it is pretty much the only soft drink I will drink! Now I just need to get a slushie machine so I can freeze some of it…

      • LCDR_Fish

        +1 glass bottle

      • Chipwooder

        I pity the poor bastards outside of the Southeast who have never tried the nectar of the gods.

      • l0b0t

        It’s available at some hipster locations here in NYC. It also plays nicely with Bourbon.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        It’s the best carbonated cough syrup flavored drink you can buy. In seriousness though, it is a pretty damn good soda.

    • Mad Scientist

      True dat

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      At least they called it what it was instead of an insurrection.

      • UnCivilServant

        It wasn’t even a riot.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I’ll take what I can get.

  21. I'm Here To Help

    I missed the genealogy post yesterday, and I am another one of the long line of racists. I am a mix of English/Scottish immigrants that came over well before the country was founded and Germans that came over right around the time of Bismarck. First recorded ancestor was on my father’s side, and he got married in Jamestown in around 1620. We had some large landowners in the colonial period in NC, and married into Thomas Jefferson’s extended family. Despite all this time over here when there weren’t that many eligible options for mates, I still have 0% Native American or African ancestry showing up in DNA.

    My father did find someone who had done tracing of the family of the father of my ancestor who was in Jamestown back to the Norman invasion of England, but I have no way of knowing whether that is correct or not. But it would prove why we ended up with our surname.

    Last thing I find interesting in the DNA – both my wife and I did the DNA test. My wife is the product of a German national and a US serviceman that was stationed in Germany, and she grew up as a German. But when we got our DNA results back, they identified more German DNA in me than they did her. Not sure if the DNA testing is all just a big guess or whether the German side of her family was just all sorts of mixed up (her grandfather did come from the Sudetenland, and she did have a lot of Eastern European showing up in the DNA).

    • UnCivilServant

      Someone forgot to use cosmoline.

      • Don escaped Cancun

        exactyl

    • westernsloper

      Amazingly, instead of calling dibs on the find, the homeowner called police.

      wtf?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Is that a Galil? What a shame but the MACs tell me the stash isn’t smart to hold on to even if salvageable.

    • hayeksplosives

      Was Sarah Connor a previous resident?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Sup U, are my writing skills horribad?

      • UnCivilServant

        To be honest – I’ve been distracted with real life things. I haven’t read the article yet.

  22. Tres Cool

    suh’

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      And a tall can for you Tres,

      • Tres Cool

        HEY YUFUS!

        Got one opened in fact