The Mother Sauces: What Should We Make?

by | Mar 2, 2021 | Cooking, Food & Drink, LifeSkills | 208 comments

We have two more sauces to go – velouté and tomato.  Velouté is frequently used to make supreme or Allemande sauce.  For example, to make chicken supreme.  Or, a fish velouté can be served with scallops. Tomato sauce, well, is used for Bolognese, or a Sunday gravy.

We’d like your suggestions for what dish to make with each of these sauces.  Please put them in the comments.  KK & Tulip will review, mock, and choose one to make.  Our decision will be completely arbitrary and final.

About The Author

KK and Tulip

KK and Tulip

KromulentKristen: practically passable in every way. Tulip: a literary figment of your imagination.

208 Comments

  1. Surly Knott

    Bolognese. I have a great Bolognese recipe that I stopped making for a few years “thanks” to IBS vs onions. I’ve made it several times recently and my guts tolerate it, yay!
    But it’s not turning out quite how I remembered, despite using the same recipe. So, further explorations are called for 😉

    • Surly Knott

      FWIW, my Bolognese is 4 oz Pancetta diced, plus 1/4 cup each of onion, carrot, celery, sweated in 3 Tb butter & 3 Tb garlic infused oil. 1.5 pounds ground beef cooked until no longer pink (but no further). Add 1 pint milk, simmered until only the fat is left. Add 1 pint red wine, simmered until only the fat remains. 2 28ounce cans crushed or puréed tomatoes, barely simmered for 4-5 hours.

      • Tulip

        True

      • limey

        Infuse some olive oil with a whole chunky fistful of bay leaves? Some species are more pungent than others, apparently.

      • Ted S.

        Popeye liked to infuse Olive Oyl.

      • Bobarian LMD
      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Only quibble? Bolognese is all about the meat, typically has more pork (or is all pork), and really de-emphasizes tomato. Best easily-made Bolognese recipe I’ve found has been from America’s Test Kitchen, which I encourage anyone who’s interested to look up (or I can post it later).

      • Surly Knott

        Heh. That’s America’s Test Kitchen all-beef variant 😉

  2. rhywun

    Allemande sounds like something German. Or square dancing. Either way, I’m intrigued.

    • Count Potato

      It’s called “Allemande” because allemande is a German dance, and Germans are white.

      • tripacer

        I thought it was a Chilean communist?

  3. limey

    Velouté is the shiniest of sauces, yes?

  4. Ted S.

    Put velouté on pineapple pizza.

    • slumbrew

      This fugging guy…

  5. KromulentKristen

    Let the mocking begin!

    • The Other Kevin

      I’m frightened!

    • UnCivilServant

      In this mock-up, we have a conspiracy stringboard…

    • The Hyperbole

      You don’t use tomato sauce to make Bolognese, it’s a meat sauce, you add tomatoes at the end.

      • UnCivilServant

        So, you cut up bologna and throw in tomatos when it’s near cooked?

      • The Hyperbole

        Exactly… except instead of bologna you use ground pork and beef, cook it slowly first with diced carrots, celery, and onion. Then in some milk (add nutmeg here) and then white wine (the red wine may be Surly Knot’s problem) and then some maters. .. other than that you are balls on.

      • UnCivilServant

        That doesn’t sound right. Too fancy for boloneyese

      • Nephilium

        Start with scrapple, goetta, and oxtail.

    • Nephilium

      In response to the question about Tiki, it’s in my pipeline, but there’s a couple more topics I want to hit on first. As an estimate… expect it sometime in April.

      • KromulentKristen

        I made a painkiller for a video chat with a friend tonight (don’t tell sloper), and it was delicious.

      • Shpip

        If you have any specific questions, hit me up. I’ve been doing tiki for a few decades now, and have at least a foot’s worth of books on the subject lining my shelves. pjshpip_at_gmail

      • Tundra

        Perfect.

      • KromulentKristen

        Fun fact…one of my roommates was besties with G. Love’s girlfriend in the 90’s. I heard a screaming match between the two of them on the phone on several occasions.

    • rhywun

      My mama always said if you don’t have anything good to say… aw fuck it, that is horrible.

  6. westernsloper

    I don’t know what a few of those are but I am sure I have made a version of them through ignorance. If the sauce is going on pasta, my fav is a bastard of bolognese, with cream, Parm cheese, + stuff…….. then taken cajun with 1/2 cap Zatarains crab boil (H/T Suthen). I try to always exceed the meat to pasta ratio so that way I don’t feel bad about eating pasta.

    Thanks for the post!

  7. LJW

    All this sauce talk has me craving some Cajun crab cakes al la mer.

    Regarding the tomato sauce lentil bolognese is always a good choice.

    • Tulip

      We’re making crab cakes in our very special bonus sauce episode: Mayonnaise!

      • Tulip

        You guys always find the right songs.

      • rhywun

        Aw, hell yeah. My favorite.

      • pistoffnick

        Crab cakes are my favorite. I can’t wait.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Speaking of crabs…

        A toast my father gave to me when I joined the military ans one his uncle gave to him when he did the same:

        May your bleeding piles torment you
        And corns grow on your feet
        And crabs the size of coconuts
        Get on your balls and eat
        And when you’re old and feeble
        And a syphilitic wreck
        May your spine drop through your asshole
        And break your fucking neck

  8. commodious spittoon

    That seemed like an obvious Final Jeopardy.

  9. blackjack

    When I went to Columbus street, They had a penne with sausage and chilis. It was great. Almost enough garlic, even. It’s fairly rare to find good Italian food with chilis in it. My grandpa used a lot of chilis, so I have an affinity for that. Always impressed when I eat up there.

  10. Gustave Lytton

    Time to make patty melts for dinner.

    • SP

      We’re making homemade (vegan) potstickers.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Yum,

    • Tulip

      From the dead thread: I made sauerbraten meatballs with buttered noodles and peas. Good enough to make again in October and serve with beer.

      • SP

        Oooooo that sounds great! (Except the beer part.)

      • Tundra

        ?

      • pistoffnick

        SP don’t like beer.

      • Ted S.

        The yeast isn’t vegan.

        (And, as always, some of us have the good taste not to like carbonated beverages.)

      • UnCivilServant

        Yeasties are fungus.

        They should be perfectly vegan.

      • pistoffnick

        Carbonation is a ballet upon the tongue.

      • UnCivilServant

        Yeah, Ted managed to be doubly wrong in one comment.

      • pistoffnick

        You mean the good taste part right? Good (bad) taste in music.

        Although I have to admire his breadth. If only that skill were marketable, he would be rich.

      • pistoffnick

        See?

        That right there is genius!

    • UnCivilServant

      I had chicken wings and seasoned curly fries.

  11. SP

    You could do a mushroom velouté. Maybe over a vegetable Wellington.

    Unless you’re going full-on classic and it needs to be meat based.

    • Tulip

      Hmm, never thought of that, interesting.

    • UnCivilServant

      What do you fill the pastry with in a veggie wellington?

      • pistoffnick

        Mmmm. Bouffe Wellington.

        I made a keto-version for Thanksgiving two years ago, but then I forgot it was in the oven, took the dog to the dog park. It was ruined by the time I got back.

        I still ate it.

      • Tulip

        Cheese, mushrooms, probably squash

    • KromulentKristen

      Thank you for the suggestion!

      Y’all what meal would you serve with the sauces? Like, if we did make bolognese, how should we serve it? And please don’t say spaghetti.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Any other pasta, or over polenta. Crispy fried potatoes. Corn bread. As part of a veggie “stew.” Over rice.

        Starch accompaniments are almost endless.

  12. Threedoor

    I’m hoping my wife brings me a double quarter pounder with cheese.

    • Tundra

      That’s a helluva euphemism.

      Kudos, dude!

      • Threedoor

        I only make lewd comments on accident.

        I hope it had extra pickles and mustard on it.

  13. UnCivilServant

    You say you have two sauces left, but I can only find articles for two of the five.

    • Tulip

      The bechamel video is done, but not yet posted.

      • KromulentKristen

        Hangs head in shame

    • Rat on a train

      When do we get an article on fish sauce?

  14. pistoffnick

    The term velouté is the French word for velvety.

    Bechamel > Hollandaise > Mayonnaise > veloute > tomato

    I’ve not yet had espagnole,

    • pistoffnick

      I should remedy that.

      • Tulip

        It was really good.

  15. Sensei

    I’m waiting for “Iron Chef” like suggestions that will involve a pressure cooker and use the sauces for a dessert that looks positively awful.

    • UnCivilServant

      The secret ingredient in this dessert battle is…

      *melodramaic gessture*

      PICKLED TROUT!

      • pistoffnick

        I like pickled herring, pickled carp, and pickled sucker. But maybe not as dessert.

      • one true athena

        yep. I still remember the episode where the secret ingredient was squid ink. So for dessert, there was only one ice cream maker and the chefs sprinted for it, since all the fastest guy had to do was use the ink to color the ice cream. The other ones? TOO BAD SLOWPOKE

    • Tulip

      I have pressure cooker

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Natto. The secret ingredient should always be natto. Then all the dishes would be heinous.

      • Not Adahn

        mix it with coarse cornmeal and deep fry into hush puppies.

      • Sean

        I will break keto for some good cornbread or hush puppies. Either one slathered with butter.

    • commodious spittoon

      Well, what do you expect, they’re Canadian.

    • rhywun

      Assuming that’s real, those parents should be ashamed of themselves for not telling The Authorities to GFY.

      • Tulip

        ^^This^^

    • straffinrun

      14 days to flatten their spirit.

  16. Bobarian LMD

    So I had never heard of velouté.

    Looking at recipes, it looks like chicken gravy?

    I like it on mashed taters, hm-hmmm.

    • Tulip

      Yes, it’s fancy gravy

  17. Timeloose

    I like my Moloko Vellocet.

    • Tulip

      LSD or PvP?

      • Tulip

        PCP

      • Timeloose

        LDS. But I did too much in the 60’s

  18. Shpip

    My grandmother, after she married, was instructed how to cook authentic Napoletano cuisine by her fresh-off-the-boat mother in law. That tomato gravy was the approximate consistency of wallpaper paste. I love it, but the wife says it “sits like a rock in my stomach” and refuses to make it. Instead, Mrs. Shpip’s go-to tomato sauce is ragù guardaporta, where she browns a Boston butt, surrounds the thing with tomato sauce (homemade or store bought, doesn’t matter) and simmers it for hours, braising the cut of meat while flavoring the sauce. I’m happy with the sauce, she slices the pork and either serves it over polenta or eats it in a sandwich.

    My variation (let the mockery begin) is to empty a jar of sauce into a saucepan, then dump a tin of anchovies into it. Simmer, stirring occasionally, until it’s a deep red color and thicker than John’s latest dream girl. An umami bomb that I particularly like with orecchiette or medium shells.

    • Tulip

      Sounds good. I love anchovies in tomato sauces.

    • KromulentKristen

      she slices the pork and either serves it over polenta

      This sounds delicious

      • dbleagle

        When my Scandi mother married my 1st Gen from Italy father my grandmother and great grandmother made sure their boy could eat. My mom went through a week long Italian cooking boot camp where the two older women did not deign to serve anything she made until Thursday. My grandather and great grandfather didn’t taste my mother’s cooking until Sunday afternoon. My mom described it as hell, but was happy to taste real food after growing up with Finnish and Swedish cooking. But the lessons stuck and she still cooks very fine southern Italian fare.

    • Not Adahn

      either serves it over polenta or eats it in a sandwich.

      She have any sisters who are single?

  19. Shpip

    Turn out that today is the fifth birthday of the Babylon Bee.

    I think we should all get together and wish them a happy…
    (dons sunglasses)
    …Bee-day.

    • Tulip

      Are there “bee” cocktails for Friday zoom?

      • Shpip

        Well, there’s the classic Bee’s Knees.

        And for those who prefer a simple highball, a large Bee-cardi and Coke will do fine.

      • Tulip

        I may have to make that.

      • Gender Traitor

        Since it’s coming up on St. Patrick’s Day, I’d rather have a Bee-leys.

        Now I really, really want some…

  20. straffinrun

    I got a problem with spending more time on the sauce than what it goes on. But, that is my problem.

      • straffinrun

        The main part should have flavor. Instead of bay leaf, I throw it in a driving glove.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I’m thinking he wants his climax to last longer than the foreplay and intercourse..

      • Spudalicious

        “whycome you hate flavor?”

        Wait…whut?

    • Timeloose

      I just make a quick pan sauce after cooking meat. Pork chops with white wine to deglaze add pepper and mustard whisk till smooth.

      • slumbrew

        Yum. A good pan sauce is a simple and amazing thing.

  21. commodious spittoon

    Gad Fly
    @RealestGadFly

    Prayers needed
    My Covid denying grandma caught it and she’s not doing well. I refuse to gloat or say I told you so because that’s tacky but I’m afraid she’s going to die before admitting I was right.

    • UnCivilServant

      🙁

      She should recover and slap that brat gandkid silly. Just out of spite.

    • Urthona

      I never believe these stories.

    • Ownbestenemy

      “I refuse to gloat or say I told you so because that’s tacky…”

      Instead Ill post my business on Twatter.

      I need another beer and some sleep.

    • commodious spittoon

      The guy’s pretty subtle, I like it.

      Gad Fly
      @RealestGadFly

      You’re like the sixth person to ask me if my tweets are real. How would anyone even go about faking a tweet?

      • Chafed

        I think it’s a troll/humor account.

      • Gadfly

        Yeah, the “look at the pictures of the melting ice caps” on the video of Niagara Falls gives it away. That’s comforting to know there’s one less asshole in the world than I thought (well, he’s probably an asshole in a different way, but at least he’s not actually gloating over his grandma being sick). Also, no relation.

  22. Shpip

    Re: that Expedition vs Semi crash that left 13 dead. Theory confirmed.

    Fox News reported that Border Patrol sources informed the network that the crash involved “human smugglers and 25 illegal immigrants” who were jammed into a single Ford Expedition, which normally can only seat eight people.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Ive gotten 12 of us in one before and that was ridiculous…25 though? Geesh

      • dbleagle

        Sorry to say that when I heard the location this morning I told my co-workers that it was illegals being smuggled. Growing up in southern AZ it was all too common. The worst incident I remember was around 25 dead from suffocation in a Ryder truck in the middle of the summer. The coyotes just abandoned them locked inside along a stretch of I-8. I don’t think the killers were ever caught.

    • Hank

      A 🙁 won’t sufficiently cover this horror, but it’s all I could think of.

    • commodious spittoon

      Pretty fucked up that Border Patrol is using semi trucks to run suspects off the road. What is this, Terminator??

      • commodious spittoon

        Also, I can’t help but think that if you’re serious about your humanitarian impulse toward illegal immigrants, you’d take the Australian approach and dissuade it as much as possible. You can easily square that with working to massively expand legal immigration. For some reason, the ostensibly pro-immigrant left just… doesn’t care to.

      • Chafed

        That takes work. It may also take some compromise and enforcement of whatever law is agreed on. In other words, nothing in their wheelhouse m

    • rhywun

      During an interview with CNN on Monday morning, Rep. Vicente Gonzalez (D-TX) warned that the policies the Biden administration is pushing for could devastate the Democrat Party and the country.

      Priorities, people.

      • slumbrew

        If that’s the actual order he specified, that’s an amazing Kinsley Gaffe.

    • slumbrew

      As ever, this brings us to “stupid or liar?”.

      She’s got a BA from Yale and a JD from UVA. I don’t think she’s actually stupid. 26 years of this nonsense, and counting.

      • Chafed

        If she is the congresswoman who has all the hats then I’m going with stupid. Generally, those credentials mean she’s smart. But… I have known a small number of highly educated people who are dumb as rocks. They know a lot about a narrow topic but know next to nothing about anything else. That could be her.

      • slumbrew

        I also thought “is she the one with the stupid hats?”, but no, that’s another person who has dominion over us (Frederica Wilson – I think she’s actually stupid).

        Shelia Jackson Lee is, I suspect, not dumb, just utterly devoid of principles and will say anything if she thinks it will increase power for her side and, more importantly, her.

  23. Hank

    Well, I’ve mislaid my notes on the best sauces, so I’ll simply post this article about the worst religious dispute in the Netherlands since Arminianism vs. Calvinism.

    It’s an intersectional slap-fight about who will do the Dutch translation of the Biden inaugural poem. The poem was by a black woman, but the Dutch would-be translator is a white non-binary-gender type person, who has now resigned from “their” translation job (enlightened people refer to the Dutch ex-translator as “they,” while from hints in Wikipedia it seems this person is what in unenlightened days was called a woman).

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9316885/Amanda-Gormans-white-Dutch-translator-quits-uproar.html

    • Gadfly

      Wait, they’re objecting to a poem written by a black person being translated by a white person? Into a language spoken mostly by white people? Is there a Ms. Gambolputty involved, or is reality really this stupid?

      • slumbrew

        “Booker Prize”

        When I see those words I assume everyone involved is a woke idiot.

      • KSuellington

        Reality is indeed this stupid. I think the Dutch might call her Gamboolputtie.

    • Chafed

      I love this story. This couldn’t be stupider. The left has gone bonkers.

  24. hayeksplosives

    I’m interested in sauces that might accompany scallops or other fish.

    I am not an experienced fish chef, so I can use all the help I can get!

    Thank you, intrepid mythical libertarian women chefs!

    • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

      Any white sauces, especially made with a splash or more of white wine! Hollandaise also works well, as well as light mustard sauces. And many fish dishes benefit from a white sauce infused with curry.

      And then there’s butter sauces, burnt, with herbs, etc.

      Damn. Now I’m hungry.

      • hayeksplosives

        Thanks for the suggestions. I’ll probably follow internet recipes until I get the hang of it.

        I’m supposed to be getting more lean meat into our diets, so fish is an obvious choice.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Butter and lemon, butter and garlic, butter with sautéed bread crumbs/panko, butter and basil, teriyaki with ginger and lime, etc.

    • KSuellington

      I gotta second Beam on the white sauces, but also with scallops or anything super fresh seafood wise I like going the most simple. Butter, garlic, lemon, s&p., peppers. A nice chimichuri sauce on white fish is damn good too.

  25. hayeksplosives

    KK, I just found a message in my protonmail from you back in January that had gone to my spam filter.

    So sorry I missed it! If you need to reach me directly, it’s my handle at protonmail.

  26. hayeksplosives

    Today I had 1:1 annual review meetings with most of my direct reports. It was odd to wear masks; it makes observation and connection so much more difficult.

    The good part was getting to hand out bonuses. Most people were pleasantly surprised to get a bonus at all, given the grim revenue situation of 2020.

    I sincerely hope we can collectively shake off the mass delusion of Covid danger and the notion we can eliminate all risk.

    No company expected a second year of this nonsense.

    The recession is unavoidable, I fear. Just too many jobs lost permanently, and everyone now vaguely aware that the government at any level can press “pause” on your life, and you have no recourse.

    This must be what victim mentality feels like.

    • Gustave Lytton

      and everyone now vaguely aware that the government at any level can press “pause” on your lifedole out bread and circuses without limit.

      That will be the takeaway lesson.

      • hayeksplosives

        But the tax well will dry up with a broken economy.

        Will China lend us the money for bread and circuses?

        They’ve got us right where they want us.

  27. Akira

    OT: Just spent an hour in the garage dimensioning a 4-foot white oak plank with my Lie-Nielsen low angle jack plane… I think I have permission to skip a workout this week.

    Woodworking is awesome. Hoping to get good enough to build some bookshelves.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Pics… and article when you do!

      I got a power planer to level off the blocking I put up in the garage. Wow! Sooo much better than trying to sand them down. And finding ever more uses for the B&D Workmate.

      • hayeksplosives

        I have a weakness for the Stanley 55 plane.

        A work of art.

      • Akira

        *does a DuckDuckGo image search for Stanley 55*

        HOLY HELL! That’s a masterpiece!

      • Akira

        Pics… and article when you do!

        I hope to do so, and I’ll take lots of pictures (complete with shots of the piles of wood shavings on the garage floor – so damn satisfying!)

      • Gustave Lytton

        I like noodling with a chain saw!

    • Gustave Lytton

      Their GDP numbers are as honest as their covid numbers.

      That 5.5% drop for MX is going to push people to search for better opportunities like they haven’t for the past several years.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yeah, China’s economic numbers are a house of sticks on a foundation of sand.

      • hayeksplosives

        I figured they were benefiting from all our mail order purchase of Made in China shit.

        But lying works too.

  28. Yusef drives a Kia

    Hello Morning Miscreants and assorted Glibbies, wassup?

    • Sean

      *grumbles*

      Mornin.

    • westernsloper

      My heart rate……………rowing machine.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Get a job that requires walking 5 miles a day, get paid for exercise Man!

      • westernsloper

        I already have one.

      • Festus

        FIVE MILES A DAY? Piker.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Yu, Sean, ‘Sloper. Still waiting to see if our payroll processor gets back up and running so we get paid our real pay on Friday. Otherwise we have to settle for cash advances. At least I work for a financial institution that can readily do that. I feel for the processor’s other clients.

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning, UCS. How’s it going?

      • UnCivilServant

        Better than yesterday. But that’s not saying a lot.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        But it is better, mornin U,

      • hayeksplosives

        Morning,GT!

        That’s nuts about the payment processors still being down! Plenty of people live paycheck to paycheck.

        That will hurt if they don’t fix up the problem in time.

        Good luck!

      • Gender Traitor

        Thanks! My boss – who is, among other things, in charge of Risk Management – was not impressed with their apparent lack of a Disaster Recovery/ Business Continuity plan. Today and/or tomorrow may be taken up with figuring out how much to advance our folks if worst comes to worst.

      • hayeksplosives

        And some of those clients who bounce checks will get charged penalties. By their banks, do there may be demands from individuals wanting their fees paid.

      • Sean

        Mornin’

    • Sean

      *of

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        If I can show my shop a Yellow card, I get a 50 dollar gift card, just for selling my Soul, what a Bargain!

  29. westernsloper

    Papers please!

  30. Gender Traitor

    Oh, just squiffy. Better give Biden his Peace Prize quick.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I know a surefire way to keep this from happening and it ain’t bombing Syria.

      • Tundra

        Bombing Iran? We have to bomb someone, Stinky.

      • hayeksplosives

        Maybe he looked in the mirror and thought he was John McCain singing that Barbra Anne song.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Biden bombing Iran would put the left in a humorous conundrum but it’s not worth it.

    • UnCivilServant

      Andy can go fuck himself.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I will not comply

    • Timeloose

      HIPPA free zone ahead!!

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      “secure technology” aka some kind of tracker with which they’ll screw you in the future in as yet unforeseen ways. I’d say y’all need not go ahead and impeach that douchebag but I doubt the replacement will be any better when it comes to stuff like this.

      • rhywun

        The replacement will be worse in every way. It will come from a younger generation than Cuomo and they are all filled with the zeal to tear everything down.

    • Sean

      Nope.
      Nope.
      Nope.

      • Sean

        Also, Israel wants to track how much you masturbate…

    • hayeksplosives

      They’re mad with power.

    • Cy Esquire

      We knew it was coming. These people won’t stop until every little spark of freedom is trampled and smothered.

  31. Tundra

    Mornin’.

    • Gender Traitor

      Mornin’, Tundra. How you be?

      • Tundra

        So far, so good! Weather has taken a turn for the better so all is well in the world!

        Is the sun out there?

      • Gender Traitor

        Yes, it is. It’s still a bit chilly, but today will be the warmest day of the week, getting into the mid-50s. I’ll take it gladly.

  32. Gender Traitor

    Aaaaaaand the local news is reporting an accident blocking interstate lanes on my route to work, so I’d better try to leave early. Have a good day, Glibbies!

    • Tundra

      Have a great day, GT!

    • hayeksplosives

      Careful!

  33. db

    I have always wanted to know how to make my own tomato sauce from scratch. It appears fairly daunting, so a primer would be helpful!