About The Author

Banjos

Banjos

Wife of sloopy, mother to three bright, curious, and highly active young girls. Perpetually exhausted.

482 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    “50% of Americans question Biden’s mental and physical fitness.”

    Only 50%?? Have they heard him try to speak?

    • UnCivilServant

      I’m surprised that many are even paying attention.

    • Tonio

      Fifty percent do so openly.

    • Agent Cooper

      As a potato, you should be perfectly fine understanding him.

    • blackjack

      Seems like everyone should agree that he’s about 50% gone.

  2. mock-star

    Only 50% question Biden’s mental fitness?

    • mock-star

      Dammit, should have refreshed.

      • Nephilium

        Why? Now we have CONSENSUS!

      • Rat on a train

        I object. I demand a reading before voting.

  3. mock-star

    “The nature of the separation agreement is that when someone leaves, there are terms to it and you cannot share every term to it,” Whitmer sad earlier this month. “That’s simply what it is.”

    Most transparent state administration ever.

    • juris imprudent

      Except under subpoena of course, NDAs do not get to trump say a grand jury subpoena.

  4. UnCivilServant

    Morning, Banjos.

    I’m trying to mainline a dose of optimism, but March has been a bit of a bad time so far.

    I’m also a bit loopy this morning due to lask of sleep, so I’ll be even less coherent than usual.

    • Nephilium

      I’ve been trying to adjust my sleep schedule this week as I’ve got a late night change I have to do tonight. This has been a shit show of a week work ways, one of the tier one guys clicked the wrong button and caused an outage for a couple hundred agents (and even worse, didn’t immediately let everyone else know what happened and claim ownership). At this point, I believe all of the users are back up, but to say the client is unhappy would be an understatement.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m of two minds of that reaction. One is that the employee makes a habit of not owning up to mistakes and makes the problems bigger. But my first reaction is, the guy expects management to can him over it and hoped not to draw their attention to who did what to cause it.

      • Nephilium

        The employee has been on thin ice for a while (he couldn’t even be bothered to do his self evaluation in time last year pre-lockdown), after several years doesn’t note tickets, doesn’t follow up with the customer, and doesn’t document anything.

        For my position, I’ve had previous supervisors explicitly tell our team that if any of us made the mistake he did, we would be terminated (it’s a simple error, with no confirmation or fail safes). But owning up to it could have at least allowed us to get in front of the issue and get some groups back in before they called in an issue and started escalating the issue. It’s not like it would escape notice for long.

      • UnCivilServant

        So, you’re saying it’s a little of both.

      • Pope Jimbo

        The best places I have worked have all made it clear that if you screw up badly and own up to it you might be fired. If you screw up badly and don’t own up to it you WILL be fired.

        Mistakes are going to be made. Making other people troubleshoot issues when you know exactly what caused them is unforgivable.

        You will also get caught. No matter how hard you try to erase logs and cover your tracks, it will become apparent to the people working the issue what happened. Even the lack of “proof” can itself expose the offender. “Huh, Joe I see session logs for everyone else working yesterday morning but not one for you. You know what happened to your logs?”

  5. Tonio

    FYI, I had site login problems here again this morning. When you login from the main page it loses your login when you click through to the links post. When you login directly from the links page it’s fine. Happened earlier this week.

    • Count Potato

      It seems working fine to me.

    • juris imprudent

      Yeah that happened to me yesterday. Gotta love WP. How SP deals with that (without leaving a trail of bodies) at the admin level is a mystery.

  6. invisible finger

    Is it really that hard to find another private school for your kid? Or are the parents really just more concerned about networking with rich morons than their children’s miseducation?

    • Tonio

      City Journal is the same outfit that published the excellent “Chump Effects” article a while back. Good stuff. Looks like they’re doing the job a certain other libertarian-themed media shop should have been doing if they hadn’t crawled up their own ass with TDS.

    • Animal

      Or are the parents really just more concerned about networking with rich morons than their children’s miseducation?

      Bingo!

    • Chipwooder

      Well, according to the article, they think that leaving or speaking out will keep little Johnny out of Harvard or Yale.

      • EvilSheldon

        Keeping little Johnny out of the Ivys should be their goal.

    • Rat on a train

      It’s not what you know. It’s who you know. The criteria for being a member of the in crowd has just narrowed.

    • rhywun

      I would guess it’s a little of both. All schools seem to be moving in this direction.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        I’m not concerned with my kid getting in to an elite school, and I very much have these same worries.

        It’s happening everywhere.

    • db

      It seems, from the article, that they are largely concerned about cancellation–both for themselves and for their children. These are people who are shelling out big money to get little Timmy into an elite school so they can become part of an even more rarefied elite. They’re not legacy admissions, and the parents want what they think is best for their children.

      On one hand, it’s understandable, but from my perspective–that of a middle class upbringing leading through a state university to a stable and financially sound career–I tend to scoff at those who are so focused on sending their kids to a prestige school. By and large those kids will be prepared to be lords of the state managerial class, some in private concerns, some in government, some in politics, very little of which I have much respect for.

      • Pope Jimbo

        What is crazy is that the prestige of those schools is sinking fast. Not only for a degree from an Ivy League school, but a degree from any college. It might have made sense a few years ago to tow the lion and kiss their asses, but now?

        Except for a few rarefied and very technical jobs in computer science, I think most IT jobs will be staffed by people who go to a coding camp or a vocational school (and there isn’t any reason to think that is a bad trend).

        The only trend that makes me think that college degrees will continue to decline in value is the current Covid war on small businesses. If we really do manage to drive most small businesses out of existence and make it impossible to start new ones, then that prestigious degree will be important. Big corporations are completely unable to evaluate talent effectively and will use pointless things like what college you went to the metric used for promotions.

        Which would be horrible for a Memphis State grad like me.

      • db

        Yeah, the talent selection process at many companies really really sucks, from stories I have heard. One of the most important functions of the university system is to do a large portion of the job of HR and hiring managers. And too many hiring managers look for degrees or particular schools, rather than capabilities and interests.

        I am currently hiring for an engineering position at one of our plants. The plant manager has selected a few people for consideration primarily based on their degrees and certifications. I prefer to interview candidates and find out just how passionate they are for engineering, and how much they want to work at a production facility. That shit can’t be easily distilled down to a piece of paper.

      • Cowboy

        Which is a shame for folks like me who worked their way into engineering position from operations. Now the only way to move, either within the company or outside is to go back to school. Nevermind my decade of experience, if they don’t see that magic piece of paper your resume goes straight in the trash. I guess the one positive, for me at least, is that school is fun and I’m actually learning something the second go round.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I have an uncle who worked 30+ years at an oil refinery. He has a high school diploma, but when you talk to him about things like pipelines, you realize that you don’t know shit about oil or how to handle it.

        If everything crashed and we had to rebuild society, I’d want to put him in charge of bringing refineries back online. Way more than a guy who had a degree in petro engineering.

        When I was in school getting my EE degree, the other students would scare the shit out of me in the lab anytime we had to deal with actual electricity. All the stuff I had learned about how to safely work with dangerous amounts of power in the Marines was never taught or completely ignored by the kids.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        You mean I shouldn’t wear an ESD strap when working with high current power supplies?

      • db

        There is a huge difference between engineers (at least in chemical manufacturing) who only deal with design and those that have done both operations and design.

      • blackjack

        There was a girl a few years back at some university, who got her hair caught in a lathe and ground her head down to nothing. Teaching dangerous stuff is no joke.

      • pistoffnick

        “…who got her hair caught in a lathe…”

        I have a rather long goatee that ALWAYS gets rubber banded and thrown over my shoulder before I use the lathe.

        There is a serious lack of common sense in the brand new engineers I work with. It is obvious that they are book smart but not barnyard smart.*

        *I graduated mechanickle engineering school with a guy who got hired by Ferrari. He didn’t know to change the brakes on his own Honda.

      • UnCivilServant

        a guy who got hired by Ferrari. He didn’t know to change the brakes on his own Honda.

        “I thought you just got a new honda. I mean, aren’t they disposable?

      • db

        I also look for engineers who do “engineer-y” things as hobbies. If you do stuff for fun that requires mechanical aptitude, you’re more likely to have a real understanding of the equipment and personal link with the job. Mostly we hire chemical engineers, because there are a lot of core concepts that are left out of other engineering disciplines, but ChEs who do mechanical hobbies are, IMO, the best for operational roles.

      • Timeloose

        Bingo DB. I always ask about hobbies to measure interest and passion for engineering.

      • Old Man With Candy

        I also look for engineers who do “engineer-y” things as hobbies.

        Ditto. The second most important question when I interview someone is, “What do you like doing when you’re not working?”

        Worst response ever was from a young and uncertain-sounding PhD chemist who said, “Welllll… I have a boyfriend…”

      • Old Man With Candy

        BTW, I’m sure you’ve told me before, but I’ve forgotten- what sort of chemical plant is it?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Maybe she performs experiments on her boyfriend by introducing novel chemicals into his meals.

      • db

        OMWC, it’s a rather uncommon process, so to say so would be to come uncomfortably close to doxxing myself.

      • Timeloose

        I asked two candidates what they liked to do in their spare time. One mentioned hiking, kayaking, camping, etc. The other was making his own video game system, Battle bot, and brewing beer. Guess who got the job.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Guess who got the job.

        The one with the biggest tits?

      • Cowboy

        I guess I should have known this place would be lousy with engineers lol

        I moved away from specializing in a particular manufacturing technology and got into controls and IE. I like not being tied down to one particular plant, and the work is more fun.

      • Timeloose

        The guy who drank his own beer and made robots had the bigger tits compared to mr outdoors. So yea he got the job.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Big corporations are completely unable to evaluate talent effectively and will use pointless things like what college you went to the metric used for promotions.

        ??

        Credentialism is a shitty measure of value, particularly in a system where everyone has credentials.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        particularly in a system where everyone has credentials.

        This is the bigger problem, I think. We’ve long passed the point of diminishing returns of being college educated as a society.

        When everyone is educated, you need a different barometer to gauge skill and talent.

        A college degree is now essentially the HS diploma of previous generations. With this trajectory, at some point in the near(ish) future having an MA will be the minimum requirement for jobs.

      • Agent Cooper

        Stop using elite. It is a misnomer. I call them The Connected.

      • Count Potato

        That’s reserved for organized criminals, who actually produce things people want.

  7. Sean

    I’m sure I still have a collection of cassette tapes in garage. I should really start cleaning out the garage…

    • UnCivilServant

      I really should acquire a garage.

      • Sean

        It’s a great way to hoard more stuff!

        My car has only ever been in it on the very first day we moved in. Never again.

        ?

      • Tundra

        That’s terrible. I played garage Tetris last fall and managed to fit four cars in a three car garage.

      • UnCivilServant

        That’s all well and good, but most people can’t tip a car on its nose and slot it in sideways to maximize the point score.

      • Sean

        Did ya cheat and install your own lift?

      • Tundra

        Nope, but it helped having a couple of small cars.

      • Nephilium

        Tundra just doesn’t want to admit that he owns three Smart cars.

      • db

        The dealer was not being entirely truthful when he said they would click together like Ikea storage blocks to make a bigger car when needed?

      • Nephilium

        db:

        Well, you needed like 30 vehicles to make them fit together, when it used to just be 5 lions.

      • Agent Cooper

        He drives Voltron. So cool.

      • blackjack

        I have eight motorcycles in my garage, along with a huge rollaway and a bunch of equipment. Then, there’s a machine room next to that and a covered shed with 4 more Harley’s under it. We have four cars and they are all parked in the driveway.

      • juris imprudent

        This man has his priorities.

      • Festus

        That’s not so bad. Last year Wifey bought a 14 X 20 soft shed and expected it to fit on our 1/4 acre lot. We won’t have a garden anymore. It weighs about as much as one of those old washers from the 60’s and took two burly boys to load it up. She expected that it would be up and about in a day or two. My hand truck had a flat but I managed to lunk it back under the big tree and wrap it for winter. It’ll probably set there for a good, long time.

      • Drake

        Cars go in the garage. That has been an unbreakable rule since I first owned a garage. Other crap can be stored around the sides, but that’s it.

      • Rat on a train

        I finally get to park in a garage. It’s a two car garage. I try to keep storage limited to automotive and yard. My wife keeps trying to put all her pack-rat stuff out there. I told her she can either store stuff or her car. Either way I am parking my car in the garage.

    • Timeloose

      I lost all of my tapes in the Curie temperature incident in my attic in 2004.

      I’ll be wearing my “original download” cassette tape tee today.

      • juris imprudent

        I am wracking my brain trying to come up with a pencil in the coffin joke, but it just isn’t coming to me.

      • Timeloose

        I don’t get the reference. What is the pencil in the coffin?

      • juris imprudent

        You never had to wind back up cassette tape that was pulled from the cartridge?

      • db

        Also, a faster way to rewind a tape than using the player. Spin the tape around a pencil or pen through the spool.

      • Timeloose

        The coffin part confused me. I certainly did use a pencil this way.

        I also performed the tape repair with super glue.

  8. Rebel Scum

    And what an absolutely wonderful morning it always is!

    Meh.

    The weather is supposed to be nice though.

  9. Tundra

    Good morning, Banjos!

    Air Force loses to China in highly classified wargame.

    Yeah, yeah. How much more money do you need, General?

    Really cool story about Lou Ottens! I made many a mix tape thanks to that man. RIP.

    Excellent song choice. SLF is always a day brightener!

    • Rat on a train

      How much more money do you need, General?

      We are almost done with the upgrades to the dorms and dining halls. We will have enough left over for the exchanges, gymnasiums and rec centers. Did you want airfields and aircraft? That will cost you extra.

      • CatchTheCarp

        Any maternity flight suits in the budget?

      • Rat on a train

        Hugo Boss?

    • robodruid

      any game that starts with a biological attack escalates pretty dang quickly.

      • db

        *reviews the news for the last year*

        Yeah, probably checks out.

      • robodruid

        Only news I have seen has avoided “biological”, “attack”,

      • db

        yeah, I was kind of getting at that. “Mistake” is more likely.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Flatulent staff officers do not count as biological warfare.

        I would hazard a guess that the US inferiority in the cyber domain was the cause of the defeat in the wargame.

    • l0b0t

      When I was playing Army, particularly when assigned to an actual OPFOR unit, US forces were supposed to lose; that was the point. That’s how you learn lessons and train to improve.

      • R C Dean

        The interesting questions are always, what were the conditions of the wargame, and how did the US lose?

      • Plisade

        That was my thought. It’s one thing for China to have more “capabilities” but that does not equate to skill or experience. And what is the morale of their military? Will they fold under pressure cuz they could give a rat’s ass about China’s glory?

        Another note, Marines near the end of the cold war were taught to fear the grit of the Soviet military, surely to keep us from underestimating our enemy. That could be in play here, too.

      • R C Dean

        Questions I would have about the AF losing to China:

        In what theater? What scenario?

        Without naval support? Because a scenario involving, say, the invasion of Taiwan or Japan, the Navy would be a major part of our reponse.

        Scenarios that would not involve naval support would be, what, an invasion of South Korea? Viet Nam? India? Even then, in the event of a state of war between China and the US, our Navy should absolutely be involved. Start reducing China’s ports, and China is in major strategic trouble. Now, our Navy hasn’t been inspiring confidence recently, but I believe China’s Navy is a very long way from near-peer status with ours.

      • Plisade

        Agreed. No way if our Navy were involved would we have our asses handed to us.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Just the politifacts, Ma’am


    No, the price of gas isn’t up 50 cents, price of food isn’t up 10% under Biden
    If Your Time is short

    The average price of gas is about 34 cents per gallon higher since Biden took office.

    Experts say Biden’s orders on the Keystone pipeline and oil and gas leasing might affect future gas prices, but have no effect on current prices.

    Grocery store prices are 3.5% higher than they were one year ago and have risen less than 1% in 2021.

    Hands were waved.

    • Sean

      Now let’s talk about building materials, metals, ammo, etc. costs.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I nearly fainted when I needed a 2×4 a few weeks ago.

      • Festus

        $1000 per. It usually hovers between 200 and 350. Crazy.

      • db

        Wow, I didn’t know the loonie had taken such a hit!

      • Festus

        That’s cubic metre, about the length and girth of a telephone pole. That’s why shitty, waned 2X4s cost ten bucks apiece now.

      • Festus

        That’s cubic metre, about the length and girth of a telephone pole. That’s why shitty, waned 2X4s cost ten bucks apiece now.

      • Festus

        Hello double my old friend…

      • blackjack

        Really good to see you, again!

      • Jerms

        Kid hit my fence with a golf cart. At Home Depot yesterday they were $7.50. Insanity.

      • UnCivilServant

        they were $7.50

        Kids, Golf Carts, or Fences?

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Kids are a cost center, not a material good.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m not even a libertarian, and I know you can make good use of prhan labor.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Treated at least?

      • Jerms

        Nope. Reg pine.

    • R C Dean

      Now do price increases since the election, not just the swearing-in.

    • Tundra

      Products are being repackaged into smaller portions. I suppose that doesn’t count in your retarded little calculations, huh?

      • blackjack

        Terrible food and such small portions!

      • db

        It’s like people have forgotten the entire original reasoning behind having a set of standard weights and measures.

    • leon

      Who you gonna believe me or your lying bank account.

    • Chipwooder

      Gas is now $2,75 here. That’s at least a 45 cent increase just since the inauguration.

      • Old Man With Candy

        I’d kill for that. $3.20-$3.50.

    • WTF

      Experts say Biden’s orders on the Keystone pipeline and oil and gas leasing might affect future gas prices, but have no effect on current prices.

      Because energy prices are not subject to speculation, so projected future costs don’t affect current prices.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        TBF, OPEC cuts and the Texas blizzard have had some part too. But yesterday I filled my tank all the way betting that prices will only go up.

      • Festus

        It’s playing to his base. Cutting the Keystone plays right into their hands. They don’t want cleanish energy from a friendly neighbor, they want you to die.

    • l0b0t

      Ground beef (80/20) was $2.99 per lb. in January 2020. It is now $4.99 per lb.

      • Mojeaux

        There was a sale on here for $1.99/pound, so we dropped a couple hundred bucks on some.

        Gas is bouncing around $2.50-$2.60 here.

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        I was in my local Safeway the other day, where I discovered that they wanted $15/kg (about $6.80/lb) for regular ground beef.

        A year ago, $8.80/kg was considered spendy.

        So far, the only meat that hasn’t spiked in price has been pork (all cuts).

    • R C Dean

      No, the price of gas isn’t up 50 cents, price of food isn’t up 10% under Biden

      The average price of gas in early November was about $2.10. It had been stable at about $2.18 for several months. Its now about $2.83.

      • R C Dean
    • Agent Cooper

      This was probably written by someone who doesn’t own a car.

  11. Count Potato

    “Woe betide the working-class kid who arrives in college and uses Latino instead of “Latinx,” or who stumbles conjugating verbs because a classmate prefers to use the pronouns they/them. Fluency in woke is an effective class marker and key for these princelings to retain status in university and beyond. The parents know this, and so woke is now the lingua franca of the nation’s best prep schools. As one mother in Los Angeles puts it: “This is what all the colleges are doing, so we have to do it. The thinking is: if Harvard does it, it must be good.””

    Right, all this woke identity politics horseshit is to oppress the poor and working class.

    • Count Potato

      “But physics looks different these days. “We don’t call them Newton’s laws anymore,” an upperclassman at the school informs me. “We call them the three fundamental laws of physics. They say we need to ‘decenter whiteness,’ and we need to acknowledge that there’s more than just Newton in physics.””

      These assholes need to experience the conservation of momentum.

      • Sean

        These assholes need to experience the conservation of momentum.

        Like with a pipe wrench?

      • Festus

        I hear tell that their sort prefer to throw unbelievers from roof-tops. Same deal.

      • juris imprudent

        Nah, these are all cowards playing a coward’s game – shame you into accepting my superiority. Not one of them has the spine to actually inflict anything but mental damage.

      • Festus

        Well sure, but we aren’t children. I remember being very wee and there were Karens back then that said that Sesame Street shouldn’t be shown in classrooms. TV is an evil influence, they said. They can physically hurt you when they rob you of your living and your family starves.

    • Count Potato

      “It’s not just Dalton, a school that has committed to being “visibly, vocally and structurally antiracist.” Bain & Company is tweeting about “Womxn’s History Month.” The Cartoon Network is imploring children to “see color.” Coca-Cola employees were recently instructed to “be less white.” You cannot buy or sell the newly problematic Dr. Seuss titles on eBay. This ideology isn’t speaking truth to power. It is the power.”

      It’s not just that MLK would be anti-anti-racist. Public Enemy would be anti-anti-racist.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Why people aren’t suing the ever-loving shit out of these schools and businesses for discrimination and creating a hostile work/learning environment is beyond me.

      • WTF

        Because the left owns the courts?

      • Trigger Hippie

        If you’re going to be demonized for simply existing you may as well say Fuck It and go down swinging…or at least quit the job or school.

        Struggle Sessions are for feckless little punks. Have some damn self respect.

      • WTF

        I basically agree, but I can understand why most people don’t want to blow wads of money on a lawsuit they are unlikely to win.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Fair enough…and sorry if I’m coming off as hostile. Not directed at you in any way. I’m just a little agitated this morning.

        Off to work, see ya!

      • WTF

        No worries, I figured it was just a general statement.

    • juris imprudent

      Right, all this woke identity politics horseshit is to oppress the poor and working class.

      Close – it is to distinguish the most elite whites amongst all whites. UMC Olympics – just competing with a new game.

      • Count Potato

        It’s not just whites. It’s to exploit anyone who isn’t in their club.

      • juris imprudent

        This bullshit is all about white elites – and how they set themselves apart from (and above) the rest. Sure you can sprinkle some black and brown, but probably not yellow, faces as props – but that’s all they are, props. That white woke elite has no interest in sharing the power they can arrogate to themselves with anyone.

    • Agent Cooper

      “uses Latino instead of “Latinx,”

      Only white people care about this. It’s very unpopular with actual Latinos.

  12. Rebel Scum

    “The nature of the separation agreement is that when someone leaves, there are terms to it and you cannot share every term to it,” Whitmer sad earlier this month. “That’s simply what it is.”

    Transparency!

  13. Rebel Scum

    A new poll conducted by Rasmussen Report found that 50 percent of Americans question President Joe Biden’s physical and mental fitness.

    C’mon, man. You can’t let these people peddle conspiracy theories about our doddering, elderly *president.

    • Sean

      It’s practically violence to do so. There oughta be a law…

  14. Tonio

    Damn, at first I thought the Digidog story was Bee-level brilliant parody.

    • Festus

      #Iconcur

    • rhywun

      #metoo

      Then I realized we’re dealing with Marxists here. They are impossible to parody.

      • Tonio

        Hey, now. I’m 880 words in to a story for You People(tm).

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      How would AOC have preferred to handle the hostage crisis? Should Digidog have kneeled before delivering the pizza? Or blared Howard Zinn’s A People’s History of the United States as read by Sean Penn through its speakers before telling the thugs to kill their hostages?

      Matt Damon hardest hit.

  15. Festus

    That Lou Ottens guy was a very interesting fellow. What I don’t understand is why the cassette tape was invented in 1963 but 8-track was still popular well into the 70’s. Someone more adept should write an article or two about “bridging” tech from that era *winks lewdly*

    • blackjack

      If I had to guess, I’d say the music industry suppressed it for end users, to prevent “piracy.” That’s what they did by introducing the CD. Stifling cassette mix tapes and all. I had a boombox that would record straight off the radio. Then the CD came out and it took a decade before recording was possible again. After a while of that, the internet killed off those. That’s when they attacked file sharing. Seems like they only embrace new tech when they have firm control over it.

      • DrOtto

        +1 Divx player

      • Count Potato

        There were 8-track recorders, but they weren’t common.

      • Animal

        I had one. My ’79 Thunderbird had an 8-track deck, and I made a bunch of custom tapes, recorded off of LPs.

  16. I. B. McGinty

    Skimmed the Nevada ballot link. Did those 92,000 ballots get counted?

    • Sean

      Twice!

      • Festus

        Lol!

    • rhywun

      I’ve grown to accept that we’re not going to get insignificant little details like that any more from most media outlets.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    I wonder if the hard nosed journalists at politifact are busily fact checking the claim Joe Biden “authored” that relief bill.

    • Festus

      With his own feces on the wall? Dollars to doughnuts he kept the golden shitter.

      • Plisade

        The Infinite Biden-Shit-On-A-Wall Theorem

  18. The Late P Brooks

    It looks like Q is going to get snowed on. Hope they stocked up on essentials.

    • PieInTheSky

      well burning drugs did get rid of the drug issues

  19. The Late P Brooks

    The thinking is: if Harvard does it, it must be good.

    We won the War Against Running With Scissors, and this is what it got us.

    • Festus

      “Red Ryder Hardest Hit!”

    • Festus

      Munsters Are Here! Yeah! The Munsters Are Here! Yeah!

  20. Rebel Scum

    “Whenever we war-gamed a Taiwan scenario over the years, our Blue Team routinely got its ass handed to it, because in that scenario time is a precious commodity and it plays to China’s strength in terms of proximity and capabilities,” senior RAND Corporation analyst David Ochmanek told the outlet.

    Perhaps you could learn something then?

    • UnCivilServant

      Perhaps you could learn something then?

      Nuclear first strike?

      • juris imprudent

        I would think that if China opened with bio-weapons, we aren’t going to be all restrained. I also doubt that China would open with that.

      • UnCivilServant

        Who said anything about China opening the conflict?

      • juris imprudent

        That was the wargame scenario. It’s built in to our assumptions about defending Taiwan.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        A cyber attack would be my guess.

    • juris imprudent

      The whole Taiwan thing is the stupidest thing we’ve ever done as far as U.S. foreign policy.

      Imagine the US wants to invade Cuba and China insists on defending it. It’s just flat out absurd – all of the natural advantages are on the wrong side.

      • PieInTheSky

        Look you cannot just abdicate your responsibility to keep china and russia in check

      • db

        It doesn’t make sense for the US. It would really suck to live in Taiwan and be invaded and subjected to the CCP. Imagine what would happen after the initial invasion–the cleanup by the CCP, political and social cleansing–that would be pretty scary.

        Probably the ideal thing would be to have Taiwan, Japan, Korea, and the Philippines develop a credible military defense pact that could serve as a counter to China.

      • Drake

        China simply does not have the sea lift to invade Taiwan right now. They might get a division ashore intact, and that just wouldn’t cut it against one of the most militarized countries in the world. Taiwan also has numerous nuclear plants. I bet they could assemble nuclear warheads as fast as I could assemble an M16.

  21. PieInTheSky

    The activists are going after JAMA (Journal of the American Medical Association-since 1883).

    To understand what it is really about, just read Dr. Marya’s tweet:

    “An apology is not enough. I want a change in who sets the narrative and agenda”.

    https://twitter.com/AmandaLuvsRoses/status/1368735489155596291

    • rhywun

      “As a WOC doctor…”

      *taps out*

      Pro-tip: maybe you’re the sexist and the racist, hon.

      • Rat on a train

        She only treats women of color? What a bigot.

      • mock-star

        I too am withholding my articles from JAMA.

      • PieInTheSky

        I like that some of these wokies call themselves amazing minds…

      • juris imprudent

        “Have you ever heard of Plato? Aristotle? Socrates? Morons.”

  22. Rebel Scum

    “Clark County 2020 General Election data show that 92,367 mail ballots were returned undeliverable to wrong or outdated addresses, according to records disclosed to PILF,” the organization reported, noting that Joe Biden won the state of Nevada by 33,596 votes.

    Nothing to see here. Move along.

    • Ted S.

      Parent I’d like to f***?

      • Agent Cooper

        Prostitute I’d like to friend?

        Primary I’d like to fortify?

  23. Pope Jimbo

    FWEEDOM!!!.

    RAMSEY, Minnesota — The Minnesota Attorney General’s Office warned the City of Ramsey that city law does not supersede state law after the city voted to stop enforcing the state’s mask mandate Tuesday night.

    In what seemed more like a Supreme Court hearing at times, the Ramsey City Council meeting became the latest political forum on the constitutionality of Governor Walz’s executive order mandating the use of masks while indoors and in public places for most people.

    Good for them. The article quotes way too many lickspittles who are upset that the Ramsey City Council is trying to kill their grannie for my taste, but at least news of rebellion is spreading.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Of course Brother Keith is not happy about this:

      The Office of Minnesota Attorney General Keith Ellison sent KARE 11 a statement.

      “Every Minnesotan deserves to feel safe in their communities, and it’s every Minnesotan’s responsibility to stop the spread of COVID-19. Other jurisdictions across Minnesota have recognized the legal and public health rationale for the Governor’s executive orders and public health officials agree on the importance of wearing a mask to protect oneself and each other. These executive orders take precedence over the measures passed by any lower unit of government.”

      I wonder if the AG is working to make sure the poor bastards living near the George Floyd Autonomous Zone are feeling safe in their community. I’d make a modest wager that the residents of Ramsey feel much safer on whole than residents of Minneapolis.

    • PieInTheSky

      Call the national guard on those wreckers

      • Sean

        They’re busy fighting Nazis in DC.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Busy preparing to fight Commies in downtown Minneapolis.

    • Rat on a train

      “Whether you pass it or don’t pass it, it is my understanding and belief that you can not direct your law enforcement office to not enforce the law,” said the city attorney.

      DACA

      • Tonio

        Um, yeah, they actually can. What you going to do about that?

        Many municipalities have in the past effectively decriminalized MJ by declaring MJ enforcement the “lowest priority” for their police forces.

      • Rat on a train

        We also have the “no reasonable prosecutor” and wordplay exceptions in our “rule of man” system.

      • juris imprudent

        I have no prosecutorial discretion!!!

    • Tundra

      I’ve been seeing more mask deniers lately. Definitely a positive sign.

      I wonder if Fuckhead Walz is getting at all nervous about the nursing home death thing? It’s interesting to me that he has so far eluded national coverage.

      • Chipwooder

        I swear, central Virginia is going the opposite way. It’s really depressing.

      • Tonio

        I was hoping that March 1 would be a turning point, but mask compliance still the same at the grocery store. At least the college kids are getting out and going maskless in parks and other public places. Hopefully that will be the wedge…

      • WTF

        Fuckstick Murphy has also eluded national coverage somehow, despite his own nursing home scandal and the highest death rate of any state in the country.

      • juris imprudent

        Cuomo casts as big a shadow as Christie.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Walz is probably on Legal Zoom trying to download documents for lucrative buy outs with severance in return for non-disclosure.

        Seriously, he’s probably in the clear because the local press is a) completely bought and paid for and b) focused on the Floyd trial. Walz’s only worry is going to be that Chauvin walks. Not because of the riots, but because the Progressives will be so mad that all the DFL big wigs will pay the price for failure.

  24. robc

    Not very good baseball birthdays, but a fun list:

    Bobby Abreu – who could end up in the Hall, but voting so far suggests no. Then big drop off to Phil Bradley, Dan Uggla, Steve Reed, Rich Hill, Dock Ellis, and Cesar Geronimo.

    Geronimo was the CF for the Big Red Machine. Probably the weak link in an otherwise powerhouse lineup. And he was still decent.

    And, if you don’t know the famous Dock Ellis story, watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vUhSYLRw14

    • juris imprudent

      I was going to say – drop off when you pitch a no-hitter on acid?

      • robc

        If he had done it more regularly, he might be in the HoF.

      • Festus

        Got a hole-in-one while on acid. It was quite sublime.

      • Agent Cooper

        I’ll do you one better. I once played a (cheap) course with power lines over it. I hit the same power line twice on 2 different holes on my drives, under the influence of Cherry Coke.

    • Jerms

      Never saw an outfielder more afraid of walls than Abreu.
      Can your Reds just trade Castillio to the Yankees already?

      • robc

        Everything I see is that is entirely coming from NY. They want him, the Reds arent that interested in trading him. Obviously the Yankees can get him, but they need make an offer than cant be refused.

      • Jerms

        I think most of the noise is coming from me. First time in forever where Yankees didnt try and improve during the offseason.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    Good news, everyone!

    L.A.’s political leaders have been buffeted by bad budget news since the outbreak of COVID-19 — business shutdowns, plummeting tax revenues, a hollowed-out tourism sector and a financial gap that has steadily grown to $750 million.

    On Wednesday, Mayor Eric Garcetti and other city leaders received an unmistakably positive sign of a turnaround, with passage of a massive federal relief package that’s expected to send $1.35 billion directly to Los Angeles.

    Garcetti said this week that he was “ecstatic” about the relief bill, predicting it will help the city cover coronavirus expenses, pay off key debts and rebuild government operations that were diminished during the pandemic.

    “Now, with this money, we can put that money back into the savings account,” he said during his weekly COVID-19 briefing. “We can pay off the credit card. And any cuts we’ve made in critical services, we can restore.”

    PARTY ON.

    • PieInTheSky

      We can pay off the credit card – with another credit card. There really is 09 concern for debt these days. I blame trshmnstr

    • blackjack

      Fucking liar! He gave all of us workers a serious haircut and the useless union meekly accepted it. Just days after he insisted that supermarkets pay a hero bump of 5 bucks and hour. Our preplanned cola raises both are pushed out by a year and a half and we’ve had 4 unpaid furlough days. They won’t even pay us what they agreed to, but the supermarkets have to give a huge bump. Simultaneously, no less!

      • DrOtto

        Please see above, your food prices have not risen.

    • Trigger Hippie

      ‘Garcetti said this week that he was “ecstatic” about-‘

      – not being held responsible for reckless budgeting, authoritarian overreach, and crushing the lives of countless thousands of people.

      Passing the Buck till we’re all Fucked.

      • juris imprudent

        To higher office, and beyond!

    • Chipwooder

      O/U on the portion of that which will go into the pockets of Garcetti and his cronies?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’m so shocked we’re federalizing all state and local debt.

      Nobody could have seen this coming.

    • Agent Cooper

      “by bad budget news since the outbreak of COVID-19”

      Robert Heinlein, call your office!

  26. Rebel Scum

    Election integrity is racist.

    Wallace said, “I guess what we can take from it is that it’s all laid bare. Nothing is in the closet anymore. The Republicans are now openly trying to disenfranchise voters. They’re acknowledging that the more people vote, the worst the margins for Republicans will be.” …

    She added, “Any company who thinks they can give money to Republicans because they like their positions on regulations and taxes needs to understand that they are voting for voter suppression. If it’s a company that has a product, they need to understand that that product will be associated with racist, disenfranchisement of Black voters.”

    • blackjack

      Cheating is the worst form of suppression.

    • PieInTheSky

      Blacks certainly cannot be expected to be capable of respecting electoral rules like other people, that would be racist

      • juris imprudent

        You want them to get out of their comfie chair in the living room and shuffle all the way down to the precinct – like wypipo?

    • Chipwooder

      Why even have voter registration? Doesn’t that prevent people from voting? Just let anyone stroll up and cast a ballot.

    • Trigger Hippie

      ‘If it’s a company that has a product, they need to understand that that product will be associated with racist, disenfranchisement of Black voters.”’

      Yes, for a small minority of screeching harpies who’ll just find another excuse to vilify any profitable company until it’s destroyed.

      I swear, I’d become a lifelong customer for a company if they’d respond with a very public GO FUCK YOURSELF when confronted with this shit.

    • Mad Scientist

      She needn’t worry. The Republicans don’t have any good positions on regulations and taxes.

  27. Ownbestenemy

    Michigan mystery: Former COVID policy chief took Whitmer payout, advised Biden transition

    I give Merriam-Webster until the end of the week to update their definition of transparency

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Public sector opacity is the new norm.

  28. PieInTheSky

    The miseducation bit was linked at least 3 times but was this companion piece covered?

    Revenge of the Gods
    California’s proposed ethnic studies curriculum urges students to chant to the Aztec deity of human sacrifice.

    https://www.city-journal.org/calif-ethnic-studies-curriculum-accuses-christianity-of-theocide

    I also heard aztecs mixed human blood in hot chocolate so that could also e included. But they will also need obsidian knife control

  29. The Late P Brooks

    I have eight motorcycles in my garage, along with a huge rollaway and a bunch of equipment. Then, there’s a machine room next to that and a covered shed with 4 more Harley’s under it. We have four cars and they are all parked in the driveway.

    I talked to a realtor in Pocatello the other day. I told her what I’m really looking for is a 900 square foot house with a 3500 square foot garage.

    • Tundra

      Yep, that’s the dream.

      • PieInTheSky

        I assume as long as all your children moved out, or?

      • blackjack

        Or if your children are motorcycles.

      • UnCivilServant

        Your motorcycles have moved out?

        Oh noes!

      • Chipwooder

        Maybe the kids will sleep in the corner of the garage

    • PieInTheSky

      Pocatello (/ˈpoʊkəˈtɛloʊ/ (About this soundlisten)) is the county seat and largest city of Bannock County,[4] with a small portion on the Fort Hall Indian Reservation

      COLONIZER SCUM

    • Mad Scientist

      I’m about to move into a place with a 1900 square foot apartment and a 2600 square foot garage. BWA HA HA HA HAHAHHAHAHAHAH!

      • db

        Sounds like a hangar!

  30. Rebel Scum

    I really wish the government would just leave us alone.

    On the coronavirus stimulus bill passing, Moore said, “I’m just so happy to be in this moment here in the last few minutes and what has happened in Congress. It’s such a historic moment. I think in the next few weeks, people, the average Americans, will see the coming results of this. They are going to feel it. They are going to feel government helping them in a profound way.”

    Except the bill, again, has crumbs for the plebs and more pork than a Smithfield plant.

    • WTF

      They are going to feel government helping them in a profound way.

      And he is idiotically oblivious to the fact that this is the finest example of the government breaking your legs and then helping you with a wheelchair.
      Fucking moron.

    • Agent Cooper

      “the average Americans,”

      FUCK OFF.

  31. Count Potato

    “Robot Dog Saves Latino Family From Sex Abuse Thug, AOC Accuses It of Racism”

    Who was expecting this headline?

    • Count Potato

      “Wilson had done prison time 5 times. Ortiz had been arrested 8 times before, including on charges of sex abuse and assault. But even though he had robbed people at gunpoint 2 years ago, he was back on the loose. And both of them were armed and inside the house in Queens.”

      What’s worse, having laws that are wrong, or not enforcing laws that are right?

      • Count Potato

        That’s not even parody.

      • blackjack

        Winston Churchill was racist and they all kind of look like him?

  32. R C Dean

    “the city voted to stop enforcing the state’s mask mandate”

    Prosecutorial discretion!

  33. PieInTheSky

    Flag of Pakistan
    Pakistan just joined the UN Human Rights Council.

    Per Resolution 60/251, @ImranKhanPTI
    is now obliged to uphold the “highest standards of human rights.”

    When will he release Mohammed Ismail, age 65, jailed in retaliation for the outspokenness of his daughter @Gulalai_Ismail
    ?

    https://twitter.com/HillelNeuer/status/1369621378626953216

  34. The Late P Brooks

    Nonprofit groups from South Los Angeles and other parts of the city offered a similar message, saying the vast majority of the federal money should go toward the neediest neighborhoods.

    Community Coalition, InnerCity Struggle and other groups said they want a combined $500 million in federal funds to go toward child care, elder care and “housing security” initiatives — rent relief, mortgage relief and money to help residents pay their utility bills. Other portions of the money, they said, should go toward two years of guaranteed basic income — at least $1,500 a month — for families needing the most help.

    “We understand that the city has a budget gap,” said Charisse Bremond Weaver, chief executive of the Brotherhood Crusade. “This is our opportunity not only to support the city budget gap, but really invest, like we have not invested in our communities ever before.”

    Los Angeles City Councilman Paul Krekorian, who heads the powerful budget committee, offered a more cautious take, saying “no one should see this as ‘found money’ to be spent on new programs.”

    And the NGO parasites stampede to the trough and begin jostling for position.

    Fiscal “caution” is racist.

    • blackjack

      “no one should see this as ‘found money’

      Especially people we owe money to. ‘Cept of course our donor class, they will be coming up soon.

  35. Ownbestenemy

    Its Snopes, so ya, but come’on man!

    https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/biden-forgot-defense-secretary/

    “It’s unclear whether Biden literally “forgot” his defense secretary’s name at that moment, or whether, for example, he got stuck doing an extended “folksy” ad lib after initially tripping over his words.”

    Folksy…I told my wife that word would be making a come back with Joe in office.

    • blackjack

      He was “tripping” alright!

    • Trigger Hippie

      How their backs aren’t buckling under the weight of all that water is beyond me.

    • Chipwooder

      What in the motherfuck is that even supposed to mean? Being folksy means not being able to say the name of your defense secretary or where he works?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Dementia is totally folksy.

      • db

        The sad thing is that Joe will never reach hot-sauce-in-the-purse levels of folksiness.

      • Chipwooder

        “Can I get me a huntin’ license here?”

      • Agent Cooper

        Maybe he keeps Sanka in his wallet?

      • Nephilium

        I wouldn’t figure him for a Discworld fan.

  36. The Late P Brooks

    Why even have voter registration? Doesn’t that prevent people from voting? Just let anyone stroll up and cast a ballot.

    Text your vote to MYNEWPREZ! now. It’s easy. Anybody can do it.

    • Chipwooder

      I’m sure this is the Donks’ ultimate goal.

    • creech

      Was thinking this yesterday after hearing some prog argue that GOP was evil for keeping some people from voting. “Do you support eight year olds voting?” Surely these folks think there is some criteria that must be met in order to participate in “democracy?”

      • juris imprudent

        Sure there is – do you vote Democrat?

  37. straffinrun

    Fuck your time zones. I’ll get good and drunk when I damn well please.

    • PieInTheSky

      no time like the present, I always say.

      • straffinrun

        The past is the future waiting to bang your high school crush.

      • PieInTheSky

        word. I’m a gonna pour a scotch.

      • straffinrun

        Cheers, Pie.

    • Rat on a train

      Eastern is for working. Zulu is for drinking.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Nomihodai!

  38. PieInTheSky

    Today in youtube recommends

    FASHION NOVA SWIMSUIT | TRY ON HAUL

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCXM0Ry9LBA

    strange nose, nice ass (although should have showed more around the 19:20 mark)

    • PieInTheSky

      I meant the 14 mark 19 is the end

      • Chipwooder

        I’d rather watch a Mark-19

      • PieInTheSky

        gay

      • Chipwooder

        Gay for weapons? I plead guilty, Your Honor.

  39. The Late P Brooks

    They are going to feel government helping them in a profound way.

    Some definitions of “help” may vary.

    • blackjack

      If you feel like the government has been helping you for four hours or more, contact you doctor!

    • Chipwooder

      You’ll feel the “help” so much that you’ll need an inflatable donut to sit down.

    • Agent Cooper

      STEVE SMITH HELP IN PROFOUND WAY

    • Unreconstructed

      STEVE SMITH as government helper?

    • Cy Esquire

      Anal rape is usually felt quite profoundly.

    • STEVE SMITH

      STEVE SMITH REPORT FOR DUTY! BY REPORT, MEAN…

  40. Pope Jimbo

    NPR does its best to put local zoning administrator Tom Eaton in the best light possible, but CWAA!

    Eaton has gone about his job diligently citing people for having Trump signs still up in their yards. When asked why he didn’t cite any Biden supporters…

    The requests to remove yard signs led to accusations of political bias. Eaton is a vocal Democrat in a county where 70 percent of voters chose former President Donald Trump in the 2020 election.

    “[Eaton] had lots of Biden signs in his yard, and he’s the zoning individual that enforces that ordinance,” said Devlin Reasy, who owns a local auto repair business and was told to take down a Trump 2020 billboard. He has a state Department of Transportation permit for the billboard.

    Eaton said the letters weren’t political. He said he sent letters to people with Trump signs because those were the only ones he received complaints about. “The city wrote the ordinances. They hired me to enforce them. So that’s what I thought I was doing,” he said.

    MPR says poor Eaton is feeling stressed because of all the grief he has gotten and it just isn’t fair. He’s only doing his job.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The trials and tribulations of a petty bureaucrat.

      Their next expose will be on how difficult it was for Stasi informants.

    • 61North

      The BTK serial killer was a code enforcer. Just saying…

  41. Toxteth O'Grady

    Cute new pic, Banjos. Although there is most of a miniature guy dangling from your brim.

  42. straffinrun

    Do I get to have a drunken melt down on glibs or am I the rock upon which you break your insanity upon?

    • Chipwooder

      Bring it, my man. I’ve seen my uncle at work – no drunken meltdown will ever shock me.

      • straffinrun

        Fine. I hate bangs. They make cute girls uglier and ugly girls look like someone frame their ugliness.

      • Pope Jimbo

        You hate bangs? All bangs?

        What about gangs?

      • db

        I’m going have to go ahead and disagree with you there.

      • Timeloose

        It depends on the size of their four or five head.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I grew mine out once. It made my 4.5-head obvious, plus my hair was always getting in my face.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Aw, the Winnie Cooper look.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        This is a correct take.

      • Agent Cooper

        I am generally anti-bang. It works only in rare circumstances.

      • Old Man With Candy

        I love bangs. SP has bangs. Do not diss bangs.

    • PieInTheSky

      As long as you use plenty of slurs directed at the Japanese, sure

      • blackjack

        There will be plenty of slurring!

      • straffinrun

        Slurry is my favorite word. Make it a verb and you’re my hero.

      • db

        We slurry granular materials all the time and pump them through pipelines as a slurry.

      • straffinrun

        hot.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Hey straff, speaking of: do the Japanese mix their wasabi and soy sauce or is that a faux pas?

      • straffinrun

        Good question. Most people I know will mix wasabi in their soy sauce when using it for dipping sushi. There are purists that say that’s wrong. They may be right if it’s high quality sushi.

      • db

        I love sushi, but I think soy sauce and wasabi overwhelm the flavor of the fish and rice, so I don’t use them.

      • Ownbestenemy

        If I do that I make sure only to dip on the rice portion and leave the fish unmolested as presented to me. If just fish, no dipping required, enjoy the freshness. At least my view.

      • straffinrun

        Wince. You’re not supposed to put the rice in the soy sauce. Pick up the fish from the rice, dip the edge in soy sauce and return it to the rice and eat. Then again, I do a lot of things I’m not supposed to do, too.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I have no clue how to properly eat it..thats just how I like to. Rice is a vehicle for flavor for me.

      • l0b0t

        OK then, do the Japanese eat their sushi with chopsticks like white girls, or do they use fingers like the 19th century Edo gamblers intended?

      • Mojeaux

        19th century Edo gamblers

        Every day I am more and more in awe of the depth and breadth of your knowledge.

      • straffinrun

        Put the rice in the soy sauce and it falls apart. Sashimi and it doesn’t matter.

      • db

        Right, plus the rice, done properly, has a flavor of its own–originally it was fermented, but now is mosltly flavored with vinegar and maybe fermented fish sauce, right?

      • Agent Cooper

        I won’t guzzle it, I’ll just nip on it.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Did order some firebombs at the bar earlier tonight?

  43. PieInTheSky

    The number of people waiting for hospital treatment in England has hit a record high amid the coronavirus crisis.

    An estimated 4.66 million people were waiting to begin treatment at the end of January, according to NHS England.

    https://news.sky.com/story/covid-19-number-of-people-waiting-a-year-for-hospital-treatment-in-england-soars-amid-coronavirus-crisis-12242590

    I mean where is the rush? My mom’s cousin lives in England and a few years ago she waited 7 months for knee surgery. You limp a little and take some pain killers big deal

    • Drake

      I wonder how many are waiting for cancer treatment?

    • 61North

      I blew my knee out a few years ago and the only delay was to make sure the swelling went down enough for a successful hamstring graft. 7 months of not being able to walk would have been hell. The only upside was the recovery was right before the DEA cracked down hard on the opiates. I had another joint surgery a few months later and they treated me like goddamn dope addict who was faking a back injury. Fuck the DEA.

    • ruodberht

      What was causing all the waiting before covid?

      • PieInTheSky

        the NHS being the envy of the world

      • Drake

        Getting your money’s worth from free healthcare.

      • 61North

        Most of my employees are IHS beneficiaries and can tell you all about the joys of ‘free’ healthcare.

    • 61North

      When tanning beds attack, next on FOX

    • Pope Jimbo

      I know it is superficial, but man does she look like a pain in the ass.

      She might be very shiny for a 39 year-old, but I bet her hubby is not the #1 griever in the world just this moment. Especially when he finds out how well his story polls with younger shinier gals.

      “your wife died from the Rona shot and left you with a daughter? Oh, you pooooooor dear!”

  44. robc

    Fun conspiracy theories going on with GameStop.

    Media was publishing stories about the crash and halts 5 minutes before it happened. The first halt was at noon, stories were getting published at 11:55 AM.

    • robc

      Even the stories that were published at 12:40 are causing rants as that still implies the stories were written in advance.

    • Drake

      Maybe they had to eat the food?

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Sounds like classic EST. You’re free to leave, honey — both the seminar and your employer.

    • B.P.

      Under the Biden Administration, Panda Express seminars will be more rigorous than basic training.

    • Agent Cooper

      280 characters or less from one big character.

  45. The Late P Brooks

    Here they come

    The House is set to vote Thursday on legislation that would expand background checks on all commercial gun sales, marking the first congressional move on significant gun control since Democrats won the White House and the majority in both chambers of Congress.
    The Bipartisan Background Checks Act of 2021, H.R. 8, would expand background checks for all firearm sales or transfers in the country. Currently, background checks are not required for gun sales and transfers by unlicensed and private sellers. The legislation has three Republican cosponsors — Reps. Fred Upton of Michigan, Chris Smith of New Jersey and Brian Fitzpatrick of Pennsylvania.
    Separate legislation, H.R. 1446, introduced by Democratic Rep. Jim Clyburn of South Carolina and called the Enhanced Background Checks Act of 2021, would close what’s known as the “Charleston Loophole,” which allows some licensed gun sales to go through before a required background check is done. Using that loophole, Dylann Roof was able to legally purchase a firearm to kill nine people at a historically Black church in Charleston, South Carolina, in 2015.

    “These people who were practicing their faith, their faith that taught them to welcome in a stranger, a stranger came to their door and they welcomed into their Bible study, he sat with them for an hour,” Clyburn said on the House floor Wednesday. “The stranger that they had welcomed in had opened fire and killed nine of them, one of who was the pastor, a former intern of mine.”

    “This law would have prevented that gentleman from getting a gun,” Clyburn added.

    strong>”This law would have prevented that gentleman from getting a gun,” Clyburn added.

    Words on paper will save us. Just like those masks miraculously saved us all from the plague.

    NEEDZ MOAR MAGICK INCANTATIONS!

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      He was by definition not a gentleman. God damn, people are lazy parrots. (See also “uptick” and “high rate of speed”.)

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      “The Bipartisan Background Checks Act of 2021”
      Fuck. You.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Toomey and Manchin are going to be unhappy about being upstaged like that.

      • juris imprudent

        Had to laugh at article about Senate Republican brain-drain in ’22 because of those retiring. Toomey was mentioned and I’m like – well damn, we can’t get someone dumber than him, even if we elect a Dem.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Loophole is whatever allows lawful gun purchases or transfers or possession after the last gun control law was passed.

      • leon

        Exactly.

        And they will do their damndest to make it illegal for you to let your Bro-In-Law shoot your rifle while out hunting.

      • Gustave Lytton

        You stupid clinger! No one is trying to take your guns away or not let your immediate family use them without a formal transfer every time you go shooting. That’s just conspiracy talk. Four Pinochos.

    • juris imprudent

      Well there’s the big lie – that there are commercial sales where there aren’t background checks.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Except that there some jurisdictions that allow a sale if the background check times out in three days without a positive or negative response. Something something rights delayed are rights denied…

      • juris imprudent

        What they really want to get at is private-party sales, me selling one of mine to you. That’s commerce straight out of Wickard. And the only way that is remotely achievable (insert narration of “it isn’t really achievable”) is with total registration. How’d that work out in Canada friends?

    • blackjack

      Nobody seems to notice that the party of erasing all your rights and taking all of your money is the sole party calling for you to be disarmed.

    • Rebel Scum

      The Bipartisan Background Checks Act of 2021

      Everything the left/Dems want is “bipartisan”. It is known.

  46. 61North

    I made my first donation to my alma mater’s team after the administration scrapped our old “offensive” team name for some anodyne horseshit name. I’m not happy about it, but the boys shouldn’t have to pay for the sins of the spineless administration.

    • Festus

      “Naggers”?

      • 61North

        You’d think so based on the hysteria. At least Macleans still ranks us highly.

    • Agent Cooper

      Well, Bearfuckers was problematic.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Squawfuckers is fine.

      • Chipwooder

        Christpunchers was really a bridge too far

      • Ownbestenemy

        Live footage of why it is problematic. NSFW – language

    • Chipwooder

      My dad is still annoyed that St Bonaventure dropped Brown Indians for Bonnies, and that happened like 30 years ago.

  47. The Other Kevin

    I just saw the Caravaggio video from last night. That was awesome. The technique I use was from a book, and it’s the author’s idea of Caravaggio’s technique. But it assumed multiple sittings with the painting drying in between sittings. The author (and I) had no idea he painted alla prima. I never would have guessed that. I also find it interesting that he used a darker ground on his canvas. I’m finding I can paint faster using my current technique, but I’ll have to try doing it all in one sitting from a model.

      • The Other Kevin

        I have two more demos done so articles 2 and 3 should be ready in a week or so, as soon as I get off my arse and write them.

  48. Count Potato

    “#BREAKING: Kroger says it will close 3 underperforming stores in Los Angeles after the passage of a $5 “hero pay” bump for grocery store workers.”

    https://twitter.com/CBSLA/status/1369732719622623232

    FOOD DESERTS!!

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Nutritional bigotry!!1!

      • Aloysious

        Systemic nutritional and environmental racism against BIPOCS.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Jews of Pico-Robertson hardest hit. If it’s anything like the enormous and gleaming Jewish Ralphs around here then it’s a great loss to the neighborhood.

    • blackjack

      Meanwhile, city workers are all paying the city for it’s own stupidity. In other news, the feds are paying them back for all the help Biden got in the election. They did everything as stupid as possible and I am personally paying them around 3 grand despite the feds making the lowlifes whole again. Ain’t blue state living grand?

      • Hyperion

        “Ain’t blue state living grand?”

        Had a guy last night trying to convince me how Cali is the greatest state ever and the only reason that people are fleeing from there to red states is that Cali is paying the bill for all the red states and that’s why those states have lower taxes, because Cali is paying for all their stuff. And the only thing greater than China would be if Cali were to become a country itself, and then all us hicks would starve to death.

        You can’t even make up that level of stupid.

      • juris imprudent

        Does the asshole even live there?

      • l0b0t

        Meh… Jimmie Haskell was onto this in 1971. Please to enjoy one of the strangest concept albums ever released – California ’99

      • Agent Cooper

        From the album art:

        1988 – Voting at home becomes reality via the Visual Phone. Vote totals double.

        1990 – The House of non-Representatives is created. Because the government could no longer rely on elected legislative bodies for support, they appointed their own body whose purpose was not to legislate, but solely intimidate.

        He was only off by about 30 years.

  49. Count Potato

    “The expert report on Why Seuss Must Be Cancelled includes calls for the Cat In the Hat, The Grinch, and Horton Hears a Who for reasons that really, uh, wow…. Wouldn’t have occurred to me, let’s say. Or, no, let’s say instead, are insane mindreading racial paranoiac bullshit”

    https://twitter.com/NickClairmont1/status/1369803838547492871

    The Grinch was based on Irish stereotypes? What?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Once you understand that it’s about the tearing down of cultural icons that provide a shared frame of reference and not about stereotypes it all makes sense.

      • juris imprudent

        We can’t have our glorious future of progress without destroying every bit of the existing culture! If the current culture was acceptable, there would be no need for our glorious progressive future.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Once you understand that it’s about the tearing down of cultural icons that provide a shared frame of reference

        This. It’s an attack on American identity. The very things we used as tools to help generations learn about the world are all being systematically erased., in the hopes of making the US “less white.”

        Instead, it’s going to cause a rightward turn with a hard pendulum shift. We might not be there yet, but it’s coming, and it might not be pretty.

      • R C Dean

        Instead, it’s going to cause a rightward turn with a hard pendulum shift.

        That’s the best case scenario at this point. I give it less than 50/50 odds.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      I assumed he was a Jewish stereotype.

      • db

        No, the Whos are dirty little immigrants that reproduce excessively and have loud festivals and whatnot in their Whotowns.

    • Hank

      What would an Irishman have against Christmas, begorrah? I’ll wave my shille – my stick at you.

    • Rebel Scum

      This is why when the woketards start trying to cancel things you have to just say “no”.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      He is green after all.

  50. UnCivilServant

    Oh good, I was able to change the bandaging on my hand without new bleeding. That’s a step up from yesterday.

    *sarc*
    I’m having a fun month.
    */sarc*

    • Pope Jimbo

      I know it is a special time when a guy discovers pornhub, but you really a) need to use lotion and b) give it a rest for a day or two.

      • straffinrun

        Take the gloves off.

      • UnCivilServant

        Funnily enough I am using a nitrile glove over the bandaging to keep the bandaging cleaner longer.

      • R C Dean

        Not sure that’s a good idea. The glove traps moisture. Germs like moisture.

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s not there 24/7, and I’m going with the doctor’s advice to keep it moist with the antibiotic infused petroleum jelly that goes on the underside of the bandaging.

      • db

        Maybe we should do a GoFundMeWannaFund to buy UCS a fleshlight?

    • Cy Esquire

      Has no one introduced you to lotion?

      Cmon man??!?!

    • Tulip

      What happened?

      • UnCivilServant

        I had a suspicious mole that popped up faster than I liked, so I went in to have it biopsied. The site decided it like to bleed, so it took a little extra effort to stop the initial bleeding (silver nitrate cuaterization). Then the first time I changed the bandaging, the would ripped back open and started bleeding again.

        It’s sill a week or two before I’ll get the test results back.

  51. Festus

    Damn. I don’t usually sign off in a foul mood but I will today. Good cheer to you, Glibs!

    • straffinrun

      You like chicken. Put this in your mouth. It’s foul.

      /my pick up line that never works.

      • Aloysious

        Stealing. I have a friend that will die laughing. She is rather twisted.

      • Cy Esquire

        You like chicken? Is that the only type of foul you like in your mouth?

        So many ways to….

      • Pope Jimbo

        /my pick up line that never works.

        Some guys just have no sense of humor

      • straffinrun

        Hey, she just won the Connecticut state 100 meter dash.

  52. DEG

    Gordon raised eyebrows when he abruptly left the Whitmer administration in January for reasons that have yet to be disclosed — and controversy erupted earlier this month when it was revealed that Gordon received a $155,000 payout upon his departure, with Whitmer herself confirming that Gordon has been bound to silence regarding the terms of his severance deal.

    Nice work if you can get it.

    “Whenever we war-gamed a Taiwan scenario over the years, our Blue Team routinely got its ass handed to it, because in that scenario time is a precious commodity and it plays to China’s strength in terms of proximity and capabilities,” senior RAND Corporation analyst David Ochmanek told the outlet.

    I think more will go into a US loss in that scenario than time. See the US’s response to the sniffle-cooties.

    The Public Interest Legal Foundation says that tens of thousands of mail ballots in Clark County Nevada were returned undeliverable to incorrect or outdated addresses during the 2020 general election contest.

    Nothing to see here. Move along.

    “We are very sad to have to inform you that Lou passed away peacefully on Saturday, 6 March 2021,” Ottens’ daughter, Arine Ottens, told WTOP News.

    RIP. He brought much joy to the world.

    • R C Dean

      Whitmer herself confirming that Gordon has been bound to silence regarding the terms of his severance deal

      I smell a dodge here. I have done severance deals. They typically/always contain a confidentiality provision about the deal itself (including the amount paid), but they don’t have a gag clause prohibiting the ex-employee from speaking at all about what they did or know about the organization through their job, or even why they were terminated.

      She confirmed a typical confidentiality clause, but I do believe what he was really paid for was a gag clause.

      Of course, how appropriate either of those are for a pubsec is a different issue.

    • Hank

      RIP, but when they said “Lou” I thought it meant Lou Reed.

  53. rhywun

    Woo hoo no more meetings today! Four already. What a refreshing change.

    Back to work…

    • Hyperion

      Lawmakers on both sides of the aisle shouldn’t have an issue with this.

      GOP: Heroes in blue!

      DEM: It was just a late abortion!

    • R C Dean

      During the encounter outside the store, Rodriguez could be seen on surveillance footage obtained by local media dropping his gun.

      He raises his hands, then drops them before being shot.

      At first, one officer fired and struck Rodriguez with a “less-lethal” weapon, police said.

      With one hand in his pocket and another near his waistline, five other officers then “unnecessarily fire[d] lethal rounds at Stavian Rodriguez,

      Video looks bad. He complied by raising his hands and dropping his gun in clear view, and then didn’t raise his hands again, or at least not fast enough before he was shot.

      • leon

        If a cop can get away murdering a man crawling on the ground begging for his life, then they will get away with anything.

      • Chipwooder

        Yup.

      • Swiss Servator

        Gah! Now I am freshly outraged, just thinking about that case.

      • juris imprudent

        AZ has a special penchant for spectacularly bad police shootings – that one and Jose Guerena.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Ugh..why do these people insist to pull up their pants after they are being given commands by officers that have no problem unloading 70 bullets into you?

      • Agent Cooper

        “With one hand in his pocket”

        I see the problem. The other one should’ve been giving a peace sign.

  54. Hyperion

    “50% of Americans question Biden’s mental and physical fitness.”

    The 50% who don’t, need their own mental health evaluated.

    • UnCivilServant

      How many who don’t question merely know he’s unfit?

  55. Hyperion

    “Air Force loses to China in highly classified wargame.”

    How many pregnant women were flying for us at the time? Jumpsuits didn’t fit correctly?

  56. straffinrun

    Make me cry and I’ll give ya five bucks.

      • Hyperion

        LOL, what the fuck!

      • db

        Wow, just wow

      • Hyperion

        Give the Scruffy Nerfherder the craziest link of the day award, it’s over.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        *takes bow*

      • Hyperion

        I’ve already sent that to a lot of my friends, that shit is just spectacular, you don’t see that every day.

      • straffinrun

        I said “cry” not “cum”.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I thought those always went together.

      • Agent Cooper

        Cum first, then cry.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Only when your sex partner has mace

  57. Hyperion

    “Robot Dog Saves Latino Family From Sex Abuse Thug, AOC Accuses It of Racism”

    Some things almost that dumb might not involve Karla Marx. But anything THAT dumb, you know it’s KM.

    • db

      What, seriously? That won’t hurt them, they’ll need to staff up so they can man the borderAntiDrug Wall

      • Hyperion

        Don’t give them ideas.

        I just have this feeling that this will prompt Joemala to move on state’s legal MJ and effectively make the federal law a ban on state’s rights. They already want to do that on everything else, so why not weed? Joemala is a known drug war fanatic anyway.

  58. KromulentKristen

    They should rename it Britain’s Most Depressing Airport. 650 flights/day in the Before Times. I see a cameo by my erstwhile otter crush in there.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EV6NJV1sLYg

    • leon

      Britains decline to abject servitude was slow, and then all of the sudden.

      I saw a whole slew of people tweeting angrily at Jake Taper (Jake Tapper!!) because he had the _audacity_ to say that the government should be investigating Piers Morgan for his take on Meghan Markyl. It was horrifying. Things like : “You have free speech, but you can’t be free from the consequences”, “You Americans have that free speech and look how functional you are”, and as always “Hate Speech isn’t Free Speech”

      • Hyperion

        All Eurotards are jealous of America, just in different ways.

      • kbolino

        Andrew Breitbart’s seminal observation is “politics is downstream from culture”. There is a corollary to this which is that a rotten culture will produce a rotten politics. We have an extremely toxic mainstream culture right now which validates and encourages people who engage in shaming, bullying, cancellation, and narcissistic moral preening. It’s like a parody of shallow 1950s family and society dynamics except of course without God, turned on its head, and revolutionary rather than reactionary. It’s not just your right to shame your neighbor, it’s your job to do so. And forget “hate the sin, love the sinner”; if you don’t hate the sinner, however will he recognize his sinfulness and be motivated to repent?

        These are the same people who will hold the positions of power to carry out the laws. Conservatives who argue about putting the right piece of legislation in place are delusional. Neither the civil service nor the courts are going to act with good faith to carry out the legislation. But progressives are deluding themselves as well. “Hate speech is not free speech” might as well be “arbeit macht frei” because once the dust settles they’ll get cancelled too. “Me today, you tomorrow” is an iron law. One need only remember the fate of Marat and Robespierre, and a thousand other revolutionaries, swept up in the violence they so fervently advocated for. The government is an instrument of power and violence, and the more openly the culture valorizes the exercise of naked power, the more the government will reflect that desire.

      • juris imprudent

        Preach it brother, PREACH!

      • TARDis

        “Would you like to know moar?”

        Yes!

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        You Americans have that free speech and look how functional you are

        Free speech was never the problem.

        The suppression of free speech and insistence that one adhere to very strict speech codes are the problem.

  59. leon

    Non-Political Discourse:

    I’m really starting to get annoyed at the team leads around work. My Team Lead is pretty good, but the otherones are stuck up assholes who can’t take constructive criticisim. I made a point that a certain meeting was “A complete waste of my time” and they got all uptight about how “It’s supposed to be that way”.

    • R C Dean

      “Wait, you’re saying this meeting is supposed to be a complete waste of my time?”

    • KromulentKristen

      Back when I worked at State Dept, they tried to set up a quasi-agile system. On our daily developer-only sprint meeting, the project owner and customer would e on the call. We told our manager that we didn’t feel like we could speak freely about the project and that the customer should never be on the sprint meeting. Ever.

      What do you imagine our manager’s solution was?

      (answer: have another daily meeting where the customer wasn’t invited)

      • Ownbestenemy

        Meetings make the government go round

      • juris imprudent

        Powerpoint is the devil’s invention.

    • straffinrun

      “Complete waste of my time”. Hope that was verbatim.

      • leon

        Almost. I tried to make a suggestion to make our process in this meeting more efficient, That was when one team lead said “well we don’t want to go faster, the whole point of the meeting is to slow things down and review them”. That’s when i blew up about how it was a wast of time for all of us to be there if we only get through one item of business each meeting.

    • Nephilium

      I’m on my fourth supervisor in three years at this company. At least this one has had team meetings for two weeks in a row (which is better then the past two supervisors). On the other hand, there’s another change with one group being brought under the support umbrella which is causing headaches with changes to processes all of a sudden.

    • Ownbestenemy

      The first level managers here where I work are afraid to be open and honest to their boss. She is completely out of her element and even after 5+ years on the job she is quietly mocked by both the technical side and the air traffic side when she speaks.

      At the beginning of the fiscal year (October) we were running a 0615 meeting where we upward reported to her. Then at 0700 we were on a more district wide meeting in which she is supposed to report, but instead had us reporting. Then, at 0830 we had a joint meeting with our local air traffic to discuss equipment issues and guess what….we reported yet again the same damn information again.

      It was TPS reports all the way down and the memo directing us to use them.

      • Nephilium

        I remember at the old place when they decided to merge the helpdesks and move over to the ITIL model (three tiers). I inexplicably got put on the tier one desk, and got to pass along tickets with the exact steps to correct the issues to people who didn’t even know how to install an MS office patch.

        Good times…

    • Pope Jimbo

      I staged a mini-rebellion and declined a recurring meeting invite from our manager this morning. I told her that I’d attend any meetings that had an agenda and some clearly documented discussion points.

      This meeting sprung out of a one off meeting yesterday that should have been an email. A different team started by getting on their soap box and pontificating about “how things should work”. At the end of their speech our team said, “yeah, we agree and that is exactly how our application works”.

      So a meeting of 15 people because no one on their team had sent out an email to one of us asking about our application. All their speculation was based on some old documentation they had written way back when. Even if there hadn’t been an email, if they had simply put an agenda with some discussion points into the meeting invite, we could have canceled it.

      Our manager thought it was great that we were talking and scheduled recurring meetings to “keep the discussion alive”.

      She wasn’t happy with my decline of her invite and got very loud during the standup about how important the meeting was. I stood my ground and said I’d happily show up at any one of them that had an actual purpose. We’ll see how long it is before my other manager comes along and demands that I show up.

    • Hyperion

      After the Hispanic Hillary mini-Hulk, I’m not sure if I can take any more hilarious.

    • Hyperion

      What I see there, mister, is no laughing matter! That’s come Leprechaun cultural appropriation right there! BAN IT, BAN IT NOW, CANCEL THAT!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      LOL. I sell those leprechaun flutes.

    • Pope Jimbo

      If you took a super-woke freshman from Harvard and dropped them into the middle of that leprechaun party, what is the O/U on the number of seconds before they blurted out an unfortunate racial slur?

      Think of the stories that they’d be able to tell the other woke crackers back at the dorm when they got home.

    • Rebel Scum

      Lol. Good lord…

    • juris imprudent

      Van Riper is my hero.

    • rhywun

      Here’s another one, which supposedly almost lead to war in 1983.

      Happily, what we got instead was a delightful fictionalized account of it.

    • Rat on a train

      Major Powers:
      We should be coming to the ambush site over the next hill.

      Sergeant Major Choozoo:
      Sure does help knowin’ where and when you’re gonna be hit, sir.

  60. Chipwooder

    A guilty pleasure of mine is music mashups on YouTube – Tears of a Panama Clown

    • Agent Cooper

      Well, there’s the rest of my day.

  61. straffinrun

    So, how close are you to becoming an anarchist?

    • db

      Anarchism is just a brief stop on the road to nihilism, I’m told.

      • straffinrun

        Not here to argue its points, just curious if the current condition has inched anyone closer.

    • juris imprudent

      You’re better off just becoming a hermit. As soon as you admit other people into your social sphere it all goes to hell.

    • Chipwooder

      Well, I don’t know what I want but I know how to get it

    • Pope Jimbo

      Look, it rained real hard yesterday. Even a thunderstorm in March!

      But I still don’t think it is time to start building arks yet.

    • db

      Thanks, I appreciate that. I had to do some massaging of the link you gave me yesterday to convince the US version of Amazon it wanted to sell me a hard copy, but eventually it worked.

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        Yeah, I’ve also bought stuff from “other” Amazons that I couldn’t get from the .ca domain (most typically .com and .co.uk, although I once had to order something off of the Italian domain).

        I’ve found that, oftentimes, all you have to do is replace the domain and everything else works, but it’s not a perfect mapping.

      • db

        I switched the domain, but it defaulted to the streaming version, but UNLIKE my original search results, it had a selection box to choose DVD, and so I did. The straight search results on smile.amazon.com and http://www.amazon.com had no such option.

      • db

        huh that link was autocreated by wordpress I guess

      • Rat on a train

        Amazon wants to sell streaming copies. They are less expensive and easier to cancel.

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        Yep. The links to buy the physical product were buried in the search results (although for some reason it was worse on the .com site than the .ca site).

  62. Mojeaux

    @RCDean, could you link that graphic you made of the iron laws? I apparently didn’t save it.

    • R C Dean

      I never made a graphic of the Iron Laws (that I recall; I do drink a fair amount). They are available on the FAQs/Resources page.

      • Mojeaux

        Thanks.

  63. J. Frank Parnell

    50% of Americans question Biden’s mental and physical fitness

    The other 50% think he’s physically fit.

    • Mad Scientist

      The other 50% are democrats.

    • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

      The other other 50% (isn’t that how the legacy media think statistics work now?) wants Puddin’ Cup’s Aricept™ dose increased into the kilograms/day region and administered via anal irrigation.