STEVE SMITH ROAD TRIP UPDATE

by | Mar 15, 2021 | Cryptids, Travel | 176 comments

WONDER IF ON TUBI NOW?

STEVE SMITH FINALLY GET IOWA. HIM SEE FUN THINGS BEFORE MEET UP WITH FRIEND ZARDOZ. STEVE SMITH AND FRIEND ZARDOZ HANG OUT FOR WHILE, DRINK BEERS. STEVE SMITH INVITE FRIEND ZARDOZ GO ON ROAD WITH STEVE SMITH. HIM EVEN BRING T-SHIRT FOR BIG STONE FRIEND.

AND STEVE SMITH MEAN IT!

BUT HIM CANNOT WEAR. HIM GIVE TO ZED INSTEAD.

SO IT TIME HIT ROAD. MAYBE STEVE SMITH AND FRIEND ZARDOZ COME VISIST FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE? WE COME BY, SAY HI. BY SAY HI, MEAN…

YOU HAVE IDEA FOR US SEE THINGS?

 

About The Author

STEVE SMITH

STEVE SMITH

STEVE SMITH PROMINENT FOREST LAWYER. AND RAPESQUATCH OF IMPORTANCE. ONE TIME GRAND MUFTI OF CASCADIA. FREE CASCADIA!

176 Comments

  1. Gender Traitor

    Ooh! Now I want to visit The Hobo Museum. My maternal grandfather was a hobo for a little while after he got out of the Army. Decided he wanted to see the country he’d nearly got his ass shot off defending.

    On a similar note, there’s the National Museum of Transportation in St. L, MO. (That’s where I got my prized “Hobo Codes” mug.)

    • KromulentKristen

      If STEVE SMITH does go to StL, maybe I can convince him to go to the MO Historical Society to photograph some items that are not on display. Though not sure if curators are doing private meetings because of the COVID. And by private meetings, mean….

  2. KromulentKristen

    IF STEVE SMITH MEET KK, HIM BE SCARED. HIM RUN AWAY FROM OVERWHELMING KROMULENCE

    • TARDis

      KK give STEVE the embiggening.

      • hayeksplosives

        Hey! This is a family friendly site, mister!

      • Let's throw Plastic at Trees

        I can’t believe we still have that rating,

      • UnCivilServant

        We outlived the rating site.

      • rhywun

        I just assume it’s satirical. I mean, anyone can stick a jpeg on their page.

        LOL I clicked the link and it wants me to install Flash. Yeah, no.

      • UnCivilServant

        Once upon a time there was an actual rating organization.

        Now the url is owned by one of those cybersquatting companies.

      • rhywun

        I fear TPTB will need to remove that link.

      • rhywun

        ?

        PS. I read that as “KROMANCE” for some reason.

      • TARDis

        Well, that Glibterm is might stick.

  3. Yusef drives a Kia

    STEVE SMITH CAN COME TO MANISTEE! BRING STONE HEAD FRIEND, MUCH FOREST, FIND TED NUGENT, DRINK BEER, YUSEF BUYISNG,
    https://northchannelbrewing.com/

    • Not Adahn

      Dude, you know how much Zardoz can drink? It’s like he’s bottomless.

  4. DEG

    Jesus on a Forklift. Interesting.

    • Plinker762

      Is Jesus using the forklift to help his dad with the rock God created but couldn’t pick up?

      • Ozymandias

        Occupation: Fool was the first place I ever heard that joke. I still think it might be Carlin’s best stuff.

      • Plinker762

        I think I heard it first from one of my high school teachers.

      • DEG

        #metoo

        My Theology teacher twisted himself into knots explaining how stating “Could Got create a rock even he can’t pick up?” is putting a limit on God which you can’t do because God is omnipotent.

      • Francisco d'Anconia

        Asking questions is bad. Better not to think of such things

      • Plinker762

        It could lead to dancing!

      • Bobarian LMD

        “A fag was someone who wouldn’t go out beat up queers with ya!”

  5. hayeksplosives

    If STEVE SMITH still in Iowa, he could tear it up in the Amana colonies, a collection of little villages that are very proud of their German heritage.

    https://amanacolonies.com/

    Those crazy mofos will ferment and make wine out of ANYTHING. The dandelion wine was my favorite.

    There’s a delightful restaurant there where there’s no menu. They take your drink order and dessert (which type of pie you want), and then you sit back and receive what the chef has decided is for dinner. You cannot go wrong.

    The Brick Haus: https://www.cardcow.com/522438/view-brick-haus-restaurant-amana-iowa/

    • rhywun

      Today I learned that there is a market for not-even-that-old postcards. Because why not?

    • DEG

      Dandelion wine is good.

      I could get into their festivals.

  6. pistoffnick

    Steve Smith should visit Doloot. Lots of hikers, lots of mountain bikers. Easy picking.

    • Fourscore

      Gunflint Trail perfect place for STEVE SMITH to meet other interesting fellow travelers. By meet mean…whatever STEVE wants to do…

    • straffinrun

      Doloot destroyer of parking brakes.

      • pistoffnick

        And struts. And tires. I am seriously considering a tax revolt. Fix the damn streets!

        THAT JUST MEAN STEVE SMITH CATCH DRIVERS TOO!

  7. The Gunslinger

    Tulip Time festival coming up in May. Steve Smith like klampen dancers?

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      That reporter really doesn’t like that guy. How many times does it need to be mentioned that this guy is a multiple repeat offender?

      • straffinrun

        That guy may be the one true libertarian on the planet.

    • Let's throw Plastic at Trees

      Dig the Avatar Straff!
      Fuck this Castle!

      • straffinrun

        TPTB brought it back for some reason after avatarpocalypse.

    • rhywun

      Watch the cops attack a 65-year-old woman because she mistakenly thought that Texas was free now.

      Obey, bitch.

      SLD: I will grant that Texas is not, in fact, “free” in the way that lady probably thought it was. Businesses have a right to demand their customers dance to their theater. I would submit that if they are so terrified of old-people breath, maybe they should position one of their security guards at the door to keep them out.

      • straffinrun

        Imagine thinking those mega banks are “private businesses”. You take billions in bailouts and you are private anymore.

      • rhywun

        Good point. Fuck them.

      • straffinrun

        Maybe we should hold off on the fucking them until Hype weighs in.

  8. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Speaking of hobos, I just watched a gloriously awful Rutger Hauer flick, Split Second.

    It even features Kim Cattrall in her prime.

    Highly recommended movie if you’re high and/or drunk.

    • straffinrun

      There has to be a firearm called a Rutger Hauer.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        In this movie he carries a .450 Magnum and a Gatling shotgun.

      • straffinrun

        From wiki: Their only clues are that the murders seem to be linked with the lunar cycle, and that the killer takes an organ from each victim, apparently to eat them.

        I’m guessing the killer was a woman.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It goes completely off the rails, combining the occult, psychiatry, “polymorphic” DNA resequencing, and Cattrall’s boobs.

        The latter making it all worth it.

      • straffinrun

        Think I’ve actually seen it. Rutger > Busey.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Add Nolte to that and you have the Hobo Triumvirate.

      • TARDis

        Yes, they all could make a great buddy flick together.

        “Piss Soaked”, a mockumentary.

    • Bobarian LMD
    • J. Frank Parnell

      Kim Cattrall in her prime

      Alright, you’ve convinced me, I’ll check it out.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I thought it was going to be a video from your book club.

  9. juris imprudent

    Assuming STEVE SMITH traveling eastbound; has STEVE ever considered long visit in DC? He might even convince Congress to free Cascadia if he MEETS with enough Congress-critters.

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      Jesus.

      That screed is full of retard.

      BUT MUH SCIENCE GUVANER!

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Schoolmarm Lenin is the worst.

    • zwak

      Neurotica!

    • Chafed

      She is really out of touch. Newsom is hated by a wide spectrum of Californians. This is not a partisan effort.

      • zwak

        She knows it comes from across the board. What she is trying to do is make it a republican thing.

      • Chafed

        That makes sense in the abstract. Someone out of state may buy it. Anyone in California will see right through it.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        That’s okay though.

        Her screed isn’t for Californians, it’s for everyone else. If she can make it partisan outside of CA, we’ll never know anything resembling what’s actually happening in CA. She doesn’t need to convince Californians. They’re already partisan nationally. She needs to convince everyone else that it’s totally extreme right wingers that are going after poor Governor Newsom, Champion of SCIENCE!, and Defender of the Working Man.

        Every challenge against Democrat governors have been met with the same rhetoric. Right wing extremism.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      This must be a coordinated campaign. Newsom was on MSNBC today talking about how horrible the people behind the recall are.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        It’s SOP.

        They did the same thing in KY with our recall petition. The very first place they went was “Extreme right wingers, akin to the Jan 6 insurrectionists, attack the governor who’s only trying to follow science and help people.”

  10. The Bearded Hobbit

    Late 60’s metal

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      Another from the Heep

      • Tundra

        I sure did hurt his pride.

        Fuck yeah.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        I always cranked the volume to 11 at the changeover.

        I guess that’s why I’m deaf.

    • rhywun

      “Would you like to play with my nipple rings?”

      • Chafed

        Lol

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      Well, when you put hiring your diversity board ahead of, you know, designing a product, it’s bound to happen.

    • rhywun

      He needs to take a page from Branch & Bollocks or whatever their name is when it comes to woke, smug bedding. Find a painfully earnest beta to do your commercials. Throw in a bunch of climate crap. Some smiley emoticons ain’t gonna cut it.

      • Ozymandias

        Find a painfully earnest beta to do your commercials.

        You mean like Stern?

      • rhywun

        Like… Howard Stern?! I don’t think that’s him on the TV commercials.

      • Ozymandias

        The first place I ever heard of those sheets was on Stern. My tongue was in my cheek. They were an early sponsor and Howard used to read their promos.

      • rhywun

        Blech. I haven’t listened to Howard in a decade so I didn’t know. I can see it, though. The way he’s turned into a flaming lefty in recent years.

    • KromulentKristen

      LOL

    • J. Frank Parnell

      I’m sure there’s some bailout covid relief money coming his way.

  11. grrizzly

    For the first time in 368 days I had a sit-down dinner in a restaurant where no one among the staff or patrons wore a face mask at any point. The place got several 1-star reviews on OpenTable that mentioned this. That’s why we went there. This is in Ft. Myers, FL.

    • Ozymandias

      Sounds like it’s time for a 5 star rating… with some choice snippets about the prior raters.
      😉

    • Shpip

      Ft. Myers is a great Florida destination that few know about. Great beaches, shelling, and fishing, if you’re into that sort of thing.

      The Edison & Ford winter estates museum is worth a stop. But they still have face diaper requirements for guests, so….

    • dbleagle

      Welp. That is a quick UCMJ case. If she is lucky just an Art. 15, if she is not perhaps a Special Court Martial.

      Of more concern to me is the official jumping back at Tucker Carlson. Having senior leaders and spokesman using their official government accounts to attack a journalist is absolutely abhorrent.

      • Ozymandias

        Here here. I couldn’t fucking believe it when I saw that.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yeah. And the childish unprofessionalism to boot. “Ok, boomer” equivalent? Really?

      • Gustave Lytton

        At least with MacArthur or John Singlaub, their public insubordination was actually on a military matter.

      • straffinrun

        Myanmar politics is here.

      • J. Frank Parnell

        Welp. That is a quick UCMJ case promotion.

        FIFY

    • rhywun

      ‘Murica 2021. That’s how we roll now. ?

    • Hank

      Even Sailor Moon would be above such antics, and she’s not even a sailor.

  12. KromulentKristen

    I have an idea for an animated short, and I have no idea if it’s hilarious or if I’m way too zooted.

    • straffinrun

      Bounce it off us.

  13. grrizzly

    In other dining news, I saw several ospreys today eating big fish on a tree. In one case the length of the fish was about 70% of the size of the bird (head to tail). The ospreys made sure to eat the fish heads first. Looked totally awesome.

    • Ozymandias

      Of course a bear would say that!

  14. Plinker762

    I saw a STEVE SMITH sticker on a Subaru the other day. That would make an interesting Subaru Theater.

    • Let's throw Plastic at Trees

      I stiil have mine, it survived the winter,

    • Hank

      Did a little voice inside your head say, “don’t back, you can never look back” (because he may be gaining on you)?

      • Plinker762

        My little voice was more along the lines of “smell some diesel smoke you crunchy bastard”

  15. The Bearded Hobbit

    So, I guess I’m not understanding the Forum. After pressing every single button on the page and logging in about five times I get one pending article from Evan. Yet people here say they have left comments there.

    ???

    • Let's throw Plastic at Trees

      Huh, I just update my project post, had to log in with WP creds is all,

    • Chafed

      Did you enter the password Dear Penthouse?

  16. Trigger Hippie

    Food Critique From an Uncultured Philistine:

    Linguine and Lo Mein noodles are basically the same damn thing.

    • rhywun

      +1 udon

      • Trigger Hippie

        Facts.

    • Chafed

      It’s as if one culture got it from another culture.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Marco…

        …Polo!

      • slumbrew

        Io sono Marco Polo!

      • Plinker762

        CULTURAL APPROPRIATION!!

      • Chafed

        FTW!

  17. Shpip

    Toppling Goliath is a helluva name for a brewery.

    I’d like to visit, but I’m not sure I have the stones for it.

    • Let's throw Plastic at Trees

      Or a Band,

      • Trigger Hippie

        He just needs to sling back a few pounds of courage to see if he can’t hit his fears dead above the eyes.

  18. Ownbestenemy

    I just found the coolest thing. My mom sent me a box of old photos, hockey awards, news clippings etc. Thumbing through the photos I come upon my photos from my high school graduation. Now, my wife and I knew each other in high school, but life happened, I got married, divorced, military and such.

    Well there in the photos is 18 year old me with a photo of my then future wife, “OBE and friend 1998” as my mom so marked it down at the time. Now we can prove to our kids that we were friends in high school.

    • Let's throw Plastic at Trees

      cool find, Mom’s are cool,

      • Ownbestenemy

        She saved stuff that astounded me. Who keeps a 1st grade report card? News clippings of your first professional hockey game you went to? Hell, my step-father, unbeknownst to me, apparently picked up an Air Force Times that had the promotion lists in when I made staff sergeant, I never knew that.

    • straffinrun

      Ideas get deconstructed and no one stops them when they’ve gone to absurd deconstructionist extremes. Now we’re seeing the deconstruction of physical objects all in the name of a navel gazing philosophy. This is a path towards insanity and meaninglessness.

      • KSuellington

        Twenty years ago I was at Berkeley and I could see where the left was going. It was not a good place. We have increasingly seen where it has gone as culture has bent towards the state. At one point I held out hope that the reaction towards the lockdowns would convince more people of the fallible nature of big guv. Now I don’t know if we will really ever see it. It’s been a terrible experiment that they pulled.

    • Chafed

      There can be no nuance. A person is all good or all bad. It is known.

      /eyeroll

    • KSuellington

      That’s a feel good story, I’d really like to see continuing diminishing audiences for Big Music and Hollywood. At this point it’s easier than it has ever been to make a movie or get a song out to fans. Hope to see more entertainment from the liberty perspective independents in the coming years.

      • Chafed

        That would be great. Hopefully it happens.

        I’m willing to bet audiences are sick of proselytizing. Sure, some diehards don’t care and some true believers applaud it. But I think most people just want to be entertained. If that’s being destroyed by the constant sermonizing then there is no point in watching.

    • rhywun

      I didn’t know it was on until I saw the usual bitching the next day from one corner about being “dissed” and another corner about the twerking.

  19. Ownbestenemy

    Being used as political tools is nothing new

    https://twitter.com/markmobility/status/1371544791994019844

    However, given the increase of officials increased attacks and lack of professionalism on Twitter, you would think this isn’t a good look. And the replies…oh the replies. Man am I ever glad I never stayed in cause this would be about my 18 year mark if I did.

    • Gustave Lytton

      They lord over the “gotcha” but call Guam’s delegate “congressman”. No he isn’t. And neither is that undead sack of grifting shit Eleanor Holmes Norton. Noticed today the media is calling her Congresswoman. Bull fucking shit.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I could have sworn it was hammered into me was independent thought as a airman. So when these clowns of NG were walking down the hall not one NCO piped up and said “what the fuck are we doing?” Victim culture quickly infected the ranks apparently.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Or subordination to civilian control. There used to be a day when a staffer calling in regards to a letter was a BFD. I remember when there was grumbling about Clinton personally, but recognition that he was the President and commander in Chief and never this sort of public disrespect.

      • Plinker762

        It demonstrates just how corrosive this Marxist BS is. It has been allowed to seep through all of this country’s institutions and they are breaking down.

  20. Gustave Lytton

    I would like to see SF take his talents to “expose” Bohemia Grove.

  21. Gustave Lytton

    Hatsu basho day 3. And DST. Gonna get my ass kicked tomorrow morning.

  22. Let's throw Plastic at Trees

    Hello Glibs, where did this White crap come from? Last week was just a tease? Coffee Cups in the air….
    /no yelling….

      • Let's throw Plastic at Trees

        Actually, the Arctic Ocean, due to evaporation and Condensation, but hey, just details…..

      • UnCivilServant

        If you want to go back to the last time it was liquid, there’s as much a chance it came from the great lakes – probably more.

      • Let's throw Plastic at Trees

        I just dont feel like sweeping it off the van and all 6ix feet of walkway,

    • westernsloper

      I woke up to rain. I’ll take it!

      • Let's throw Plastic at Trees

        Rain, good stuff, in moderation,

      • Gender Traitor

        Yesterday, ours was freezing. Little icicles all over my car and on my bird feeder. Poor birdies! 🙁

        Happily, it’s above freezing this morning. Good morning, Yu, UCS, & ‘sloper!

      • Suthenboy

        Ha. Ice? Today is grass cutting day here and I am probably a week overdue. Flowers and bees everywhere. Sweeping and mopping the house now until it gets light out and I can crank the mower.

    • UnCivilServant

      You know, the thing, will make…uh.. the common … workers pay.

  23. Sean

    https://www.theverge.com/2021/3/15/22327854/match-group-garbo-tinder-background-check-update

    “Notably, in a blog post published last month, Garbo said it won’t publicize drug possession charges in order to take an “active stance toward equity.” It cites research about the disproportionate percentage of Black people who are arrested for drug charges compared to white people. The company also says drug-related offenses don’t meaningfully predict “gender-based violence,” which is what the brand is primarily concerned with preventing. Garbo also doesn’t disclose traffic violations.”

    Equity.

    • Suthenboy

      Upon first reading it was all gibberish to me. I had to figure out what Tinder is and what a Garbo is. So, background checks on potential dates will not include criminal records cuz racism? What a cluster fuck, but then that is the point of all of this marxist clap-trap, isn’t it? I look forward to both company’s bankruptcy.

      • The Hyperbole

        Background checks from one particular company wont include drug possession charges and they let you know what you are getting, if you want a more thorough check there are any number of companies that will gladly supply them, capitalism and choices for the win.

      • ruodberht

        “It’s retarded on purpose” is an odd defense, but ok.

      • The Hyperbole

        Not so much a defense, just that Suthen’s description is off and his desire to see companies that he had yet to hear of and will never use and will have no effect on his life go bankrupt may be a bit misplaced. It seemed odd, I figured he must have thought this was being forced on people and wanted to let him know that wasn’t the case.

    • Gender Traitor

      Garbo strikes me as a terrible brand name for anything connected with dating. Slogan: “Garbo – for when you vant to be alone!”

    • TARDis

      Useless. I need your credit score and your separation code from your DD-214, if you served.

  24. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam ?

    My Kroger was out of my usual “tall” 24 oz’ers, so I had to settle on a 6 of 16 oz.

    MEDIUM CANS !

    • TARDis

      Mornin’, Mr. Cool.

      Passed out slept outside on the deck last night. Damn thunderstorm woke me up.

      • Tres Cool

        It was/is in the low 30s (ºAmericanheit) and rainy. Not deck weather in SW Ohio just yet.

      • Gender Traitor

        I’m eager for it to warm up so I can set up Tranquility Base on the back porch!

        Mornin’ homey & TARDy!

      • TARDis

        Mornin’, Red!

        Man, I’m already on my second tall one. (Coffee, it’s just coffee.)

      • Tres Cool

        sup’ pimp-juice

      • TARDis

        Cool and rainy; so, Germany 10 months out of the year?

    • Let's throw Plastic at Trees

      In the Air!
      Sup Tres?

      • Tres Cool

        HEY YUFUS !

  25. Gender Traitor

    We’ve decided that a big chunk of our “stimulus” $$$ would best go toward taking down the dying tulip poplar in our front yard. That’s going to make me sad. I’ve loved that tree and looked forward to its blooms since we moved here. 🙁

    • Let's throw Plastic at Trees

      Pay down my CC, throw fake money at plastic,

    • Suthenboy

      That is a shame. I love those. They grow fast here and pay as well as pine. We have planted at least 100,000 of them. It breaks my heart to see one cut.

      *Hunting lease prices go up every year. My brother and I plan to lease out our land to pay taxes. If I had my way I would never cut another stick of timber.

      • Gender Traitor

        I will say, though, that it’s the twig-droppin’est tree I’ve ever seen. Pretty much after any rain or windy spell we have to go out and play pick-up-sticks before we can mow. It also drops its leaves ridiculously early – often by late August, IIRC. Maybe that’s been the signs of its decline.

      • Suthenboy

        Your climate is different than mine so I can’t say. Besides I dont have one in my yard. I do know it is one of the top food producing trees for wildlife.
        When it is fresh cut go out sniff the open stump. It has a very pleasant smell, something akin to Tide? laundry detergent. I think it is Tide.
        The wood works very nicely and is very strong. One of the best things about it for cabinetry is that as it dries it warps, cracks and splits much less than oak. In fact, almost not at all.
        It has a funny yellowish color but it has pretty grain and takes stain well.
        I could go on all day. I love yellow poplar.

      • Suthenboy

        Good grief, that would make a beautiful live-edge table top.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’d rather have the edges straightened in the pale band on the sides.

      • Suthenboy

        To each their own. I love live edges if they are not too irregular. In some way everything that happened to that tree while it lived is recorded in the tree in some way. Those little eye looking irregularities in the heart grain is from rurification, that is, when the tree’s upper canopy shades out its own lower limbs and the tree sheds them. Most yellow poplar growing in woods will have funny dimples in the trunk from that process if that tree grew at the same time as the other trees around it. If it did not and the other trees were already mature when the poplar sprouted it will grow fast and straight with few or no lower limbs to push its canopy into sunlight and it won’t have those dimples

      • Gender Traitor

        Cool grain! Unfortunately, we know our tree has started to hollow – there’s a hole at the base where you can reach up inside. I guess we’ll find out whether there’ll be any potentially usable wood when it comes down.