“I’m tired of-of-of having this conversation with you, Andrew,” Joe said, his reprimanding stare fixed a full foot above the webcam in the laptop.
Andrew grimaced on the screen.
“But I guess I’m going to have to go over it again,” Joe said, standing.
“Is this really the best use of your early morning hours, Grandpa?” Finnegan asked.
“I have to hold this Party together, Jill,” Joe said, looking at a completely different person.
Joe stood shakily and motioned Jen over beside him. “Come here, Strawberry.”
Jen shuffled over. Joe put an arm on her shoulder and moved them side-to-side until they were centered in the laptop camera view.
“OK, Andrew, pay attention,” Joe said.
Andrew grimaced on the screen.
Joe put his hand on Jen’s left shoulder. “OK, this one is always fine. She has an avenue of escape to-to-to the right here.”
Joe shifted and put his arm all the way around her shoulders. “A little more risky,” Joe said, “But it gives you good control.” He pulled Jen closer to him. “See? See how you can smash the side boob into yourself? That’s nice. Yeah.”
Andrew grimaced on the screen.
“And now you are in a good position to go for the sniff.” Joe pulled Jen even closer and dipped his face into her hair. “You just have to pretend you’re whispering. From here you can lean forward for a clavicle or go for the back of the neck sniff.”
Joe buried his face in Jen’s hair and made a loud, moaning sniff. “Oh, man, is there anything better than the back of a woman’s neck?” Jen’s smile was frozen on her face. Joe began to snuffle, like a dog going over the place on the floor where a treat used to be.
Andrew grimaced on the screen.
Joe pulled his face out. “Or maybe you aren’t a smell man, maybe you like the boobs.” Joe stepped back and looked Jen up and down.
“Strawberry, for such a small woman you have a great rack,” Joe said in a husky slur.
Joe put his arm around Jen’s waist and stood beside her. “See, standard photo-op stance, right? All proper, right? Wrong. Look, I move up an-an-an inch or so, and I’m in prime underboob.” Joe caressed the underside of Jen’s breast with his thumb.
“You see, perfectly gentlemanly.” Joe pulled his arm away and honked both of Jen’s breasts. “This just gets you in trouble.”
“Grandpa,” Finnegan rumbled.
“And if you turn them to face you, make sure your back is always to the camera.” Joe moved and then leaned forward to smell Jen’s clavicle.
“Are you strawberry all over?” he asked in an oatmeal-scented whisper and then began to slide his hand down her stomach.
“This is over!’ Finnegan said and pushed her way between them.
On the laptop screen, the grimacing cutout of Andrew fell over and an enormous cat face leaned in and began to sniff the camera.
This was a masterpiece.
But isn’t anymore?
Shame.
Success if fleeting and I don’t want him to rest on his laurels.
Not as much as the last one. That was the greatest thing ever since STEVE SMITH and Subaru Horror Theatre.
On the laptop screen, the grimacing cutout of Andrew fell over and an enormous cat face leaned in and began to sniff the camera.
A perfect close. 10/10
Beat me to it.
It reminds me of A Sound of Thunder
Clever Andrew!
I only have cut-outs of Jennifer McCarthy, Angelina Jolie and Ali Landry, no one would believe that was me, the tits aren’t big enough.
Agreed.
Yep!
11/10.
I’m dying. Too many great lines to pick out my favorite.
I find this funny and sad because I have a family member that would say these exact words:
“Is this really the best use of your early morning hours, Grandpa?” Finnegan asked.
“I have to hold this Party together, Jill,” Joe said, looking at a completely different person.
That right there is funny no matter who you are.
-1 Jen.
Is Jen worthy of a fondling? If not, it’s peach-mint, right?
Psaki, would hate fuck, great work SF, bravo!
Oh, no. Its SugarFree Wednesday. I completely forgot.
How?
This is the highlight of my week.
I have a link I’ve been saving for this afternoon.
Last week: Our government institutions are precious and above reproach and must be protected!
This week: FBI probably did a fake investigation and should be investigated and Border Patrol Unions are colluding with GOP and it should be decertified!
Seriously, I give up. I refresh the page to make sure I am not in anyone’s thread and it still ends up randomly.
Are you aware that if you start typing a comment, no matter where, and then click on a “reply” button, that it replies to the associated comment, not the original place you began writing the comment?
Like, for instance, I started writing this on a different comment but then clicked on “reply” in this place.
Can confirm. This comment is typed as a reply to OBE. But now I’m gonna click reply under db.
Is this turning into some kind of a circle jerk?
Eh, it works here too.
My wife is like that. She doesnt look at the tv control before pressing a button. She stares at the tv and randomly pushes buttons. When the tv changes channel or programming or does something weird she asks in a puzzled voice “What happened?”
Just creating a comment here to drag the thread back to the left.
It was one of the first things that I thought of this morning. These are a high point of my internet life.
Trauma can do things to your memory.
Swiss gets it.
I’ve read that someplace, but can’t remember where.
STEVE SMITH REMEMBER WHERE!
On Wednesdays, for some reason.
Great stuff SF, I didn’t even lose my appetite!
I don’t see Andy as a cat person. Maybe a purse dog.
https://imagesvc.meredithcorp.io/v3/mm/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fstatic.onecms.io%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2Fsites%2F20%2F2020%2F06%2F23%2Fandrew-cuomo-family.jpg
Good looking dog. And his, um, office wives too.
The one on the left has a nice smile.
The middle one reminds of someone I know.
That dog has eaten so many used tampons out of the trash.
Perfect
Cuomo loves dog breath!
Unfortunately, its a still, so we can’t tell what she’s blinking in Morse Code.
“Stop breathing on me, human.”
Loafers without socks. Ick.
What about suits worn with t-shirts?
Yes, if you’re Don Johnson in 1985
Speaking of Don Johnson, if I can find it, I’ve got quite the pic for you on the Glib zoom this week.
Oh…dear.
I think I might have missed sloper’s drunk pic the other week, too.
Nah.
It’s not bad. But it is 3rd grade me with prime DJ and PMT at a shoot in downtown Miami.
What about suits worn with t-shirts?
They’re good for showing off your nipple piercings.
“Prime underboob” was my favorite
At this point, I’d let even Joe explore my prime underboob.
Nope. Scratch that. I still have standards.
Or a midget pot bellied pig.
SF, just wanted to check that you got the goody I e-mailed you last week.
I did. I’m looking to deploy it to maximum effect.
That’s . . . disturbing.
You can email THC suppositories now?
Only if you have a 3D printer.
Awesome stuff!
Joe began to snuffle, like a dog going over the place on the floor where a treat used to be.
Legitimately laugh out loud. My wife is off today while I’m working from home, and she’s wondering what the hell I’m laughing at. I told her nothing, I’m just on my lunch break.
I laughed.
Gone too soon.
Oh man, that sucks bad.
What
Damn. She’ll always be the Nürburgring taxi chick to me.
https://youtu.be/_tG3Tx1e704
I loved her turn in a Transit van with Top Gear
That was the best. Clarkson was crowing about his time around Nurburgring in a new Mercedes and she tells him “I can do it faster than that in a van”. So they put her in a stripped down van and then filmed it. It was priceless seeing guys on the track in their BMWs and Porches getting passed by a van – driven by a girl.
#metoo
Adorable.
Fuck cancer.
I couldn’t decide if it which Andrew it was, Cuomo or Prince. Both seemed like they could fit into this universe.
I just came here to say that people who unironically employ the terms ‘doggo’, ‘woofer’, ‘birb’, or ‘hooman’ should be rounded up and gunpoint, stripped naked, chained together and frog-marched to the nearest public square where they will be savagely beaten until they lose bowel control (either out of fear or neurological damage), and then loaded into a brazen bull to be roasted to death while people dance in time with their screams punctuated with drums and bells.
Been over at The Dodo again, huh?
OK, Boomer.
It’s more of a Zoomer thing.
You forgot ‘pupper’.
“pet parents”
I remember that one time I was napping on the balcony and I woke up to my doggo with a birb’s leg sticking out of his woofer! It’s as if he were saying “OH HAI I brot u a preznt, hooman!”
Is there Millennial speak for ‘horses’?
I’ve heard “clippy-clapper.”
Based on some really weird cartoon fetishes I’ve unfortunately been made aware of, “lover” seems to fit.
All of this was just a shaggy dog story excuse to post this link.
*slackjawed stare*
He wanted it.
Jockeys are just so… compact.
Oh Lawd!
BRAVO!!
?
BRAVO!!
????
*rounds up angry mob*
*grabs pitchforK*
They can haz cheezburger?
But what am I supposed to call my furbabies now?
Un-ironically call them your kids, and then explain to actual parents how much having a 26 pound dog is JUST like having real children.
“These little humans are the pets. The dogs are the kids.”
Doge is OK?
If you’re in Venice, yes.
Phoenix is just like Venice, minus the water.
Vicious Doggo Attack
Actually didn’t get the attack on camera but you can see the puppers behind the Kia and fence for the first few seconds and then @ 1min hear alot of barking. I really just wanted to upload and save a video from my security cameras because I hadn’t done that yet. It’s kind of a pain in the ass.
Did they break the skin?
Just barely, more a scratch than a puncture, ripped my “good” jeans though. Now I have nothing to wear to church.
I am glad you were not seriously injured. get yourself some pepper spray.
Supposedly .25ACP was for protection against dogs.
Good idea.
Sorry.
How about ‘snek’ and ‘spooder?’
Snek is acceptable. I have no fucking clue what a spooder is.
https://youtu.be/GjKg2gbbVpw
I have a FB friend with a pathological fear of spiders…. thanks for that link.
I like spiders, but I understand that everyone isn’t a weirdo like me.
Jumping spiders, though, are about as cute as you can be with eight legs.
I’ve always hated that. When I first moved to Colorado, I had occasion to take my dog to the vet for something. When the tech brought her out to where I was waiting, she said, to the dog, “oh, there’s your Daddy.”
I probably sounded a little testy: “I’m not her father. I’m her owner. I do not propagate dogs.”
I loved my old bird dog to death, but she was not a child. No dog is.
I call my dog poopy or stupid.
I call mine pinhead
*brazen moo grass doggo
*gathers second angry mod*
Wait, I thought you were the angry mod? I mean, at least for puns.
Would adding more make a squad of mods?
A Mod Squad? Odd.
While agree that is annoying, I fine it less annoying than people who send me messages with no punctuation, no capitalization, ‘u’s and ‘r’s in place of actual words, and goddamn fucking emojis everywhere.
You just refer to your dog as Eater of Couches.
Those couches had it coming!
u mad bro ❓
Damn, man, why do you hate my kids that much?
Lately they started calling dogs “doggo”. When I asked them what the hell that was all about, they had no answer.
Sabine Schmitz- that sucks.
I missed the morning links… I saw that Sloopy mentioned the lawsuit against Deshaun Watson. Apparently it involves allegations of sexual misconduct with a masseuse, which Watson has of course strongly denied. I read a little about it and found out that the attorney demanded a six figure “settlement” from Watson then when he did not get it he filed the lawsuit then announced it on…Instagram. Anyway, here is the attorney.
Did he go to Berkeley for law school?
That’s a kind of joke you need to make Gingerly.
With a name like Buzzby, how could he not win? I assume he airs ‘Better call Sal’ style ads in the greater Houston Metro.
Nah, that’s Jim Adler, “The Texas Hammer”
Whatever happened to the Texas Law Hawk?
We have “The Hammer” here in KY. He looks like a giant on the commercials, but is apparently 5 ft in heels.
We have these creepy-ass twin lawyers in the Pittsburgh area https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZpQ2mqq8Lk
So, a shakedown attempt.
I practice in the court, of social media!
From the dead thread re: country food gas stations:
We used to have The Y. It was a convenience store at a Y in the road, and was a cultural institution here (not to mention the only place to get gas on this stretch for 10 miles in 1 direction, and 20 in the other). It had the best food in the county. Their country fried steak and biscuits and gravy were legendary.
Until it was eminent domained 2 years in order to put in some fancy interchange to make the intersection safer (that hasn’t even been started yet). And although that intersection was pretty dangerous, with at least 1 horrific accident every couple of years, there were at least 3 other ways they could have addressed the problem without tearing down the Y, but chose the most complicated, expensive, and destructive way to do it, against the wishes of virtually everyone in the community outside of those who run the city and county.
https://m.jessaminejournal.com/2020/09/09/wilmore-y-design-concerns-residents/
So you could, without snickering, say I was dining at the ‘Y’?
Yep.
Though no one around here would use the word “dining.”
More like, “I’m fixin’ to git dinner at the Y.”
Alternatively, “I’m fixin’ to get a slice of pie at the Y.”
Why without snickering? Haven’t you been here for a while now?!
I choose to be charitable when I can.
Any of you who are interested in very nice cookware, All-Clad is holding its factory seconds sale.
Link?
https://homeandcooksales.com/
Also note, you can put in a bunk email address to their site as long as it looks valid. 123@yahoo.com is going to be getting some promotional emails now!
bob@bob.com is my go-to. Or if they want a real domain I will go with bob@aol.com
Shoot, I want a Dutch oven and they are all out of stock, also I didn’t realize how expensive they are, I owe my sister better a x-mas presents next year.
If you sign up with a real e-mail they send you a heads up the day before the sale starts. They aren’t announced beforehand otherwise, as far as I can tell.
Aren’t you a little old to be giving your sis a dutch oven?
Rule 34.
I picked up a roaster and a 12″ fry pan, along with some measuring spoons.
I don’t need any more kitchen stuff…but gott damn.
Yeah, there are some outstanding deals. Apparently they have them rather frequently; I think the last one was in Jan or Feb.
I ended up getting flatware & steak knives – not even All-Clad! LOL
But I have a lot of missing pieces in my flatware set, and the design is no longer made, so replacements are fucking expensive. The last replacement set I bought was over $100. I’ll just donate the old ones and use the new set going forward.
I just fleshed out my flatware set. I have my Grandma’s flatware, but there were some damaged/missing pieces. I really like the design, and finally decided to fill out the set. I don’t know when it was originally produced, but it’s at least 60 years old, I’d say. Oneida doesn’t make the pattern (Textura) anymore, but I found several sites that had some, and between them all, I was able to get an entire set and add some pieces like grapefruit spoons and other cool stuff.
Newer flatware seems to be very large and unnecessarily heavy and poorly balanced; this old set is just right.
Yep, bought a pasta cooker and the 4qt everything pan in the last sale. Already had the saute pan (last year’s birthday present). Love the stuff.
Nice link, thanks. Sadly, the one thing I want from All-Clad (one of their 12″ Chef’s Pans, any series) are all sold out. Because of course they are.
For Kristen: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BBX5qh09OIE
I can tell just by the title that I’ll need to set aside 2 hours for this tonight!
Same here. Once upon a time…but that is a young man’s game.
Dammit, this is going to be way too interesting.
Facebook has been feeding me suggested videos for weeks that show people building log cabins by hand.
Interesting enough for the first dozen or so videos.
What’s going on here?
Many on Twitter are saying that this video of Biden where he talks about southern US border is doctored as his hand appears to pass the microphone on 10 second mark.
Straff posted that last night I believe. Looks like the person handling the mic was putting it forward not expecting Biden to go all Uncle Joe and lean in so close.
The scale is off, unless the mike is gigantic.
Also, it looks like the top of his head disappears at one point.
The background moves strangely too. And I thought about this.
Weird; there really do appear to be several sequences of frames where his hand appears superimposed over one or two of the microphones, as if it is green screened. The walking doesn’t look natural, as if he’s not walking on that path that’s depicted, either. Also, there’s some weird clipping of his slacks on his right side, too, it seems.
The unnatural walking is just dementia.
Plus, the mask conveniently removes the need to animate a realistic talking mouth.
Did anybody ever identify what media was there or where this was broadcasted from?
Good question; maybe it’s someone having fun, and not really a clip that was originally released and intended to be taken as real. It would be possible to take two completely different videos and merge them like this, as long as the “background” image/video had enough data to reconstruct the background after the image of a person was removed.
Bloomberg and The Hill ran it…I wonder if they will say where they got it from.
I am guessing 4chan.
Wapo too
https://www.washingtonpost.com/video/politics/biden-does-not-plan-to-travel-to-border-amid-migrant-surge/2021/03/16/d991feff-9f5b-4644-98c9-5fc3588a3c18_video.html
That video is fake as fuck.
It’s fake in weird ways. The fuzzy microphone (looks more like a slipper than a microphone cover) is from a different video than the background (look at the blur) and also a different one from Joe (hand goes through it). What the hell is the point of shopping in a fuzzy microphone? Biden’s head disappearing tells me his footage is pulled from a different appearance rather than green screened.
From PJM:
“You might wonder — just as Insanity Wrap did — if the clip had been doctored by the weaponized autists at 4chan or some other internet prankster.
But the clip was run by both Bloomberg and The Hill, two publications that, whatever their actual merits, pass for reputable.”
I LOLed.
pass for reputable
In poker that is called a tell.
It clearly is doctored, but why?
Virtual president?
Is there anything at all that the D’s do or say that isn’t a deception of some kind?
Yeah that seems like the kind of thing you don’t do. At best, it makes you look incompetent (because you couldn’t even get the video right); at worst it makes you look deceitful. Maybe they’re just trying to stoke some anger on the other side and see who bites on the conspiracy theories publicly.
It’s ok, they’re just fortifying his presidency.
M,m,m,m,m,m max Biden,en,en,en!!!
This shit could make an awesome movie. A team of people coming up with one scheme after another trying to get this memory care patient to appear as the president? Shuffling him around from one appearance to another, shoving Aricept down his throat and praying to God that he doesn’t horribly fumble his lines? Then the inevitable moment where the whole charade comes crashing down?
At the end of the day though, it’s just sad. Imagine any elderly person with cognitive impairment you know, then imagine a bunch of politicians forcing him to play president.
It’s his punishment for selling the souls of his family for his own success. The Devil promised him he’d be President some day, but now how, when, or in what condition.
CPRM hit hardest.
Clearly faked video.
There are moments in which is hand and jacket cuff are “above” the microphones even though he is far enough away that they should be “behind” the mikes.
The microphone cover is out of focus because it is near the camera which is focused farther away. When the hand and jacket cuff appear above the microphone, they are in sharp focus.
Fake news.
there were at least 3 other ways they could have addressed the problem without tearing down the Y, but chose the most complicated, expensive, and destructive way to do it, against the wishes of virtually everyone in the community outside of those who run the city and county.
“It’s the things we do together, to make life better for all of us.”
Exactly.
Penile turgidity increases
Engorgement of my throbbing member
Grows with my lust for you
Plain strawberry shortcake
Hef bequeathed me his cybernetic phallus
I am man and machine
Domo arigato, Dr. Jill Biden
For allowing me this sensory experience
Of tactile and olfactory defilement
Of this woman who lies for me,
And lies for me now,
Upon the Resolute Desk
With neatly parted ginger hair,
To match the hairdo
Like the Oval Office,
The carpet doth match the drapes
Limey = Agile?
Yusef had the same notion recently. I can confirm that I am not Agile. Call it convergent evolution.
Heh.
Agreed, Huzzah!
De-evolution.
How many hallucinogens have you imbibed today?
Too coherent to be Agile.
Agile always started the day out coherent and got more obscure as the day went on. I always loved parsing what he said.
I dare you to use “space jizz” somewhere in your next book.
I wil tale that dare. Screenshot for future reference.
The phrase or the actual object?
Both, obvs.
Expanded Universe.
Los Angeles, CA — Hunter Biden’s wild life and corrupt business dealings are slated to get the Hollywood treatment in the newly announced feature film “My Son Hunter.” The movie will be a biopic of Hunter Biden chronicling his elitist party lifestyle, dodgy business dealings, family drama, and corruption.
The Bee gives zero fucks.
Fact checked 100% true
This was great, SF. Joe does seem to have all of the creepy, gropey dirtbag tricks down pat.
The grimacing cardboard cutout was *chef’s kiss* mwah.
Nicely done.
Pearls were clutched
“The State of Short Term Rentals in Montana” painted a startling picture about the proliferation of short-term rentals throughout the state. The study found 2,524 short-term rentals available on websites like Airbnb and Vrbo in Gallatin County. Only Flathead County had more, with 2,814. Those are staggering numbers, with nearly six of every 100 households in Gallatin County offered as a vacation rental. And with the state’s tourism industry expanding, the trend is toward more and more of these rentals.
Why does it matter? The very character of neighborhoods is affected when significant numbers of homes host a continuous parade of vacationers bent on partying. Many vacation rentals slip under the radar and fail to exact the state’s bed tax, an important source of government revenue. And runaway numbers of vacation rentals take permanent housing out of the market, exacerbating a housing shortage already at crisis level in the city of Bozeman and some other communities.
——-
But most towns and counties around the state have little or no regulations for these rentals. That is costing state coffers unpaid bed taxes and threatens to aggravate housing shortages statewide. To gauge the extent of this activity you only need to visit the Airbnb website and zoom the map in on your neighborhood to find a surprising number of vacation rentals.
Property owners have the right to earn money with their homes. Renting all or part of their homes to vacationers can be an important source of income for some. But this activity should carefully monitored and regulated to ensure it is conducted legally and safely.
People go on vacation to have fun? People go on vacation and enjoy themselves in unapproved ways? People want to make money on property they own?
We must put a stop to all this socially unacceptable behavior!
Never mind the powers that be in much of Montana have made the explicit decision to focus the economy on tourism.
“Bent on partying?”
New Orleans, Las Vegas, Ibiza… Flathead County.
Who gets to decide what the correct “character” of the neighborhood should be?
Karen does, always Karen.
TMITE
I feel like I should get this tattooed on my forehead.
“Property owners have the right to earn money with their homes. Renting all or part of their homes to vacationers can be an important source of income for some. But…”
Anything after but can go die in a fire.
They are hell to live near when the wrong tenants are staying.
Ease of access to housing is causing a housing shortage?
I think the theory is that many/most Air B&B homes are second homes used exclusively for renting, which means those aren’t available to live in.
I’m also not convinced that’s true.
Make America Fabulous Again.
Captain America — which first hit the newsstands in March of 1941 — is getting a makeover. Marvel will feature a new Captain America named Aaron Foster, a young gay man who the publisher says “stands for the oppressed and the forgotten.”
The new Cap will appear in a limited series in a story following the original Captain, Steve Rogers, as he teams up with a number of different Captain Americas. The release of the issue featuring the Aaron Fischer Captain is planned for a June release to coincide with Pride Month.
“Aaron is inspired by heroes of the queer community: activists, leaders, and everyday folks pushing for a better life,” backup writer Joshua Trujillo explained is a statement. “He stands for the oppressed, and the forgotten. I hope his debut story resonates with readers and helps inspire the next generation of heroes.”
They still make paper comic books? Huh.
OFFS.
It is never enough for the grievance mongers. In what way exactly are gays oppressed? The average American today couldn’t care less about people being homosexual.
Are you CELEBRATING them? Are you giving them ALL of the ATTENTION they want? You aren’t are you, you homophobic nazi!
I don’t care if comics have gay characters but why take the current ones and completely change the essence of that character? Couldn’t they just come up with new ones within the Marvel Universe?
It isn’t about being creative. It is about being destructive. Leftists must tear down any institution that builds individual character.
They have no imagination, sense of humor or creativity.
They have no imagination, sense of humor or creativity.
And if they don’t have it, then by god neither will you!
Even before the leftists took over, comic books had made this multi-universe inheritance of identity stuff normal. Even as a kid, I found it lazy and confusing. Bruce Wayne is only one of many Batmen? Peter Parker was merely Spiderman in some universes and not others? Nah, not my jam.
backup writer Joshua Trujillo
This is the name of a motherfucker that owes me money.
Something tells me he’s the backup for a reason.
Who let this guy out of his padded cell?
There has been a media frenzy about SARS-CoV-2 variants in recent months, which is inciting panic and worry, and dissuading some persons from getting vaccinated due to concerns that the vaccines won’t be protective. News reports are feeding this frenzy with nearly daily updates citing every new unreviewed pre-print study on viral variants. Inflammatory overblown headlines scream at the public, like the Los Angeles Times Science section articles entitled “California’s coronavirus strain looks increasingly dangerous: ‘The devil is already here’” and “The ‘nightmare scenario’ for California’s coronavirus strain: Here is what we know.” There is a disappointing lack of perspective and balance; for example the above articles are based on interviews of a single source who is presenting his own yet unpublished work. There are many reasons to temper these messages and reassure the public regarding this alarmist deluge of dire predictions.
Viral evolution is normal, and the implication that the virus is somehow directing itself to change in a sinister direction is at best a melodramatic misunderstanding of biology, and at worst misleading and misinforming the public as to why viruses change. Viruses have no will or intent; they adapt to their host just as water takes the shape of its container. In this case, SARS-CoV-2 has been in humans barely a year and is expected to change as it adapts to this new host. While it may become more contagious, there is no selective advantage to becoming more deadly; common cold coronaviruses that have circulated in humans for decades have diversified genetically but not become more harmful. In fact, viral evolution generally favors becoming less pathogenic, because survival of the host is obviously important for survival of the virus. Comparing a variant to “the devil” is both scientifically meaningless and inaccurate; what’s happening is entirely an expected natural process.
Won’t somebody please muzzle this denier of SCIENCE!?
The world’s preeminent virologist, Styxhexenhammer666, has been saying this for almost a year and he’s right. A virus adapts to environmental pressures through no will of its own and nothing more.
The Biden presidency is already reminding me of Konstantin Chernenko. Anyone remember him?
What you did, was seen,
Yes, and I also remember his successor
Most people remember Gorbachev.
(I assume you’re thinking of Yuri Andropov, who preceded him.)
No I was talking about Gorbachev. And the fate of the USSR soon after.
I mean, I know what the word “successor” means, FFS.
I figured you were mixing up the order of Andropov and Chernenko.
Remembering Gorbachev isn’t all that impressive.
I remember Andropov thanks to Car Talk- Pikov Andropov.
And the law offices of Dewey, Cheetham, and Howe.
Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk.
It was more metaphorical. Like, I remember what happened after Chernenko was significant
IIRC, he wasn’t seen in public in months, and they kept saying he “had a cold.” Comedians like Letterman had a field day. Then finally they announced he had died. I’m getting an eerie similarity with Biden.
Dammit!
Want a punch line? Chernenko was five years younger than Biden when he died.
Was he the one that had the “cold” for 143 days?
I had no memory of him whatsoever. Which is weird because I do remember Andropov, or at least hearing about him. I was around 13 at the time.
Oh, never mind.
Finally, vaccines are only one tool in our public health repertoire and we should not be relying solely on them to return life “to normal.” All variants are still stoppable by masking, distancing, focused quarantining, and contact tracing. In some countries, these measures alone have been sufficient to entirely contain the pandemic, notably without prolonged business shutdowns. This success depends on getting ahead of the virus, and it is extremely unfortunate that some states are relaxing containment measures because infection rates are dropping. Indeed, now is the time to be doubling down on these measures because they are most effective when rates are low, and we could have the opportunity to stop widespread transmission altogether if we act aggressively now.
We now return to our regularly scheduled imbecilic hysteria.
The answer is always double-down.
We must be so disappointing to our Top. Men. ?
“This is going to hurt us more than it hurts you.”
Cases up: lockdown!
Cases down: lockdown!
It’s a win-win for the authoritarians & bootlickers
I loved this. Especially the ending.
That’s what she said.
Glad that it’s over?
AKA STEVE SMITH HAPPY ENDING
Was the ending….happy?
New gigabit fiber line is here!
Huzzah!!
The XX tax deduction is taking her driver’s test. I am nervous as hell.
Fingers are crossed. Please keep us posted!
Thanks. I hope she gets it so I can send her on little quests around the block by herself.
Update: She passed!
Woot!
W00t! Frabjous day!
Congratulations!
? ? ? ? ?
How much did your insurance rates just go up?
Whatever you think it is, add 50%.
Congrats, Mo!
Despite the expense, it’s life changing.
Yep. I am super happy for her.
She will be paying for her own insurance.
Ruh-roh.
Now she’ll have a social life. And need a car.
No such thing as a silver lining without a dark cloud.
Has a car.
Has a job.
No social life.
No social life.
Expect that to change now that she can drive herself.
Excellent!
Sunrise, sunset…
Sadly.
Also sadly, I now have an earworm whose sole purpose is to remind me of my mortality.
Nice
I’m surprised to find out that I got some Biden Bucks. I thought I was not in the updated criteria. Whatever, just my own tax dollars given back anyway.
Score!
We got twice as much as expected. I thought it was $1400 per adult, but kids too.
Does it get treated as taxable income?
Don’t know. I believe the last one did.
Our CERB (Canada Emergency Response Benefit) bennies are taxable, and become part of total income. I don’t think a lot of Canucks who are getting the CERB know that, though . . .
I believe the last one did.
Not according to the taxes I did last night, but there is still discussion on this one possibly being taxed. Because when Biden changes the tax law, he’s only going to raise it on people who make $400K a year.
But when the inflation finally hits, we’ll all be making $400K a year.
It is a tax credit for CY 2021 that applies to taxes filed in April 2022, but is paid in advance.
It is possible to not get the bucks this year, but still reap the credit next spring when you file your taxes.
No(*). It’s an advance on a tax credit https://www.irs.gov/newsroom/recovery-rebate-credit
*because it’s really a tax credit, it needs to be added if your state allows deduction of federal taxes paid (no double dipping) and has not exempted it
I hope you all enjoy your money.
It went straight into savings.
Indeed.
Of course, some of that used to be my money. Not that I’m bitter or anything.
#metoo
#methree
#methree
Nope, #youfour
Dammit… a bit too slow.
#believeallshitlords
A big chunk of ours is going to take down a dying tree. (**sniffle**) The rest may give us a start on new gutters.
Which reminds me – anyone have knowledge/experience with various brands of leaf-guard style gutters? I’d rather Tom T not have to clean gutters anymore, and I’m too short.
I prefer the mesh ones over the surface tension ones. I don’t like having gallons of water pouring off the roof in sheets during a downpour.
Super easy install if you have somebody who can deal with the heights.
Gutter vacuum!
I’ve tried every type of gutter covers sold at the big box stores, they are all worthless.
These work great – I put them up 2 years ago and they work.
https://www.amazon.com/FlexxPoint-Gutter-System-Residential-Guards/dp/B00DMOJK7A/r
Great! Thanks!
Not awright x3: https://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/matthew-mcconaughey-criticizes-texas-governor-abbott-lift-mask-mandate-dumbfounded
Welp, all that talk of him running for Gov. just went down the toilet.
I didn’t know he was a Karen. Sad.
No, it hasn’t. GFY.
Keep in mind that proof is synonymous with consensus to these types. Everyone says so, so it must be true.
“My reaction to that is, I was a little dumbfounded by the decision,” McConaughey said. “I understand ‘go back to work.’ What I did not understand was ‘pull the mask mandate.'”
Alright, alright, alright. The thing about mask mandates is I keep getting older and we’ll have them until we die of old age.
Greenwald.
Boom.
I don’t agree with him on everything (especially his views on the Israeli-Palestinian situation) but dude has been on a warpath against the legacy media and they hate him for it because there isn’t much that they can do to him.
I don’t agree with him on most things, but I’ve become convinced that he’s the rarest of creatures: an honest journalist.
Greenwald strongly brings to mind Orwell. Both are treated like pariahs among their otherwise compatriots (Orwell, among socialists; Greenwald, among journalists; though neither is really to be excluded from either category). Both would not be my political allies in a direct competition between me and them. But both are willing to say the true things that their fellows will not say, and moreover in Greenwald’s case, to present the evidence that others ignore.
A virus adapts to environmental pressures through no will of its own and nothing more.
Lissen, you!
This virus is DIFFERENT! It’s not like any other cootiebug in the history of cootiebugs. It’s SENTIENT. It plots. It plans. It has no mercy. It cannot be bargained with.
It
cannot
be
Stopped!
It’s SENTIENT. It plots. It plans.
Clearly. We know its nocturnal, because why else would we have curfews? We know it can tell when large gatherings are for leftists political purposes, because those aren’t superspreader events. We know it can identify people who are sitting down, because why else would we let them take people take their masks off in restuarants only while they are seated? Now, we don’t know why it targets standing people, or why it leaves leftist protestors alone, but we have our TOP. MEN. on that.
https://www.cnbc.com/2021/03/17/irs-pushes-april-15-us-tax-deadline-to-may-15.html
The Internal Revenue Service is planning to push back the deadline for the tax filing season about one month to May 15 from April 15, CNBC’s Ylan Mui confirmed.
This will give taxpayers additional time to file their 2020 tax returns and pay any amounts owed to the IRS. Because May 15 falls on a Saturday, the final deadline for filers may be the following Monday.
The move from the IRS and Treasury Department comes after calls to extend the tax season increased following the passage of the $1.9 trillion American Rescue Plan, which meant the agency was tasked with sending another round of stimulus payments while processing tax returns and refunds.
Good. I owe the feds money this year. With a little luck, my state refund will come in before I send a check to the feds.
Same here…though in my case there is no state tax, so it’s just another month I get to hold on to my cash.
That’s good news. I’ve been procrastinating pulling all my docs together to send to the tax guy.
I’ll take it. The Biden mask mandate might even be gone so I can walk into the Post Office like a human being to mail off my theft payment.
Stop laughing at me. Biden said the mask mandate would only last 100 days. He would never lie, right??!! RiGHT?!?!
We just had the anniversary of “15 days to flatten the curve”. So…
This is fantastic SugarFree. It may be your best yet.
May you only be groped with folksy charm.
I may have been wrong about the guy being an incel. There are reports the was blaming AMPs for his “sex addiction.” Still not 48 hours though.
You did see the pic of him, right?
The Yellow Fever made him do it!
If I didn’t know any better, the US is a dangerous place for Asians now. It’s also hilarious that before this pandemic started, Asians weren’t considered minorities but now that they serve a purpose in the Left’s propaganda machine, they are one of the downtrodden.
Let’s ignore that a Hispanic man and 2 white wimmenz were shot too.
Fuck them, they don’t advance the narrative.
What happened in Atlanta is a damn tragedy and the Left are using for political gain. It makes me sick and scared for our future.
You weren’t already?
Clarification: More scared.
I’m guessing that the exit polling from the November election showed softness in the Democrats’s stranglehold on Asians. Late December/Early January was when I started seeing all this Asian discrimination crap start percolating up.
Bingo
They’re minorities when there’s something to be pinned on Whitey. At all other times (such as, say, school admissions), they’re “white adjacent”. The hypocrisy is so brazen, it leads me to believe that flaunting such an obvious shell game is part of the fun for the wokesters. They feel as if they can say anything, no matter how ludicrous, and no one will publicly challenge them. No one but deplorables, anyway, and who listens to them?
flaunting such an obvious shell game is part of the fun for the wokesters
Why, its almost like there was a whole post on that, only yesterday!
Me-ow.
How about this?
White Supremacy is causing black on Asian violence.
Great Work SF, Ending was :chefs Kiss:
Now back to work…?
“This sexual-harassment training video is more explicit than I expected.”
“Now THIS is the kind of sexual harassment training I was hoping for!”
RE: Atlanta shooting.
Seeing all the Media and talking heads draw up on their narratives of what happened, and what we obviously must do about it… and tthisbeing slovenly parroted by the masses… all i can think of is this. Seriously, you can’t look at a situation with human eyes, and try not to pound the war drums of some narrative for 10 min? What else are they going to make you give if they already have your basic sense of human decency?
Politics isn’t just evil because of what politicians do, but also because what it can turn honest men into.
you can’t look at a situation with human eyes, and try not to pound the war drums of some narrative for 10 min?
They obviously can’t. They are broken people. Deep down, they know they have a void in their life, and are much the worse for it, one they can’t fill in a decent way, so this is how they lash out.
You have to understand that narrative is all they have, so they will always pound that drum.
It’s not just politics. Seeking attention or popularity above other virtues and receiving nothing but positive reinforcement can turn just about anyone dishonest.
Seeking attention or popularity above other virtues
Perhaps the worst thing social media has inflicted on us.
When politics is your sole identity in life – then everything in life is filtered as politics.
I just heard it’s all about racism. I mean sexual addiction. We have to ban racism and sex.
Wrong. Look, I move up an-an-an inch or so, and I’m in prime underboob.” Joe caressed the underside of Jen’s breast with his thumb.
#promove