Jewsday Tuesday: Is Fauci a Jew?

by | Apr 20, 2021 | Jews | 284 comments

This week’s sedra reading is Tazria-Metzora. As with the names of a distressingly large subset of female academics and diversity hustlers, the hyphen alone gives me pause. As well it should: Tazria translates as “insemination” and metzora means “someone diseased.” Great, atta way to kill a boner. But really, the titles here do say it all.

Let me back up a minute to explain the hyphenation. The Hebrew calendar is lunar rather than solar, and that makes for a lot of complication and adjustment. For example, in (((our))) leap years, we get a leap MONTH, not just a single day. We all know how the dates for the Jew holidays jump around from (solar) year to year, dragging Easter with them. And because we have to read the entire Torah over the course of a year via the weekly sedras, but the number of weeks is variable, in non-leap years, we smash together some of the sedras so it all comes out even. And some bright rabbi at one point in our history no doubt decided, “Ya know what? Let’s do a mashup of leprosy, menstruation, childbirth, and jizzing. I think there’s some money to be made from this.”

The recurring theme in most of this portmansedra is being unclean, then being put outside the city, away from clean folk. There’s much ritual involved, and this covers uncleanies such as a guy who had wet dreams or jacked off, a woman who is on her period, and someone who has a mysterious Yahweh-concocted disease… the last, most of all.

The bulk of this sedra looks like a Cliff’s Notes version of a dermatology text, with a pile of scolding epidemiology aimed toward benefitting the priests. What you need to do (ritually) for white spots on the skin. For red spots on the skin. For white spots streaked with red. For red spots on the scalp. For white spots on the… well, you get the idea. All of that kinda got lumped together by some guy named King Jim who called it “leprosy.” It isn’t, but try telling the goyim that.

Oh, and it can also happen to clothing and buildings. Yahweh is nothing if not diversified.

The ritual that needed to be performed when the mysterious spotting disease ran its course is difficult to describe, but it involves two birds, a cedar board, water from a running stream, and a piece of red string. Use your imagination. But of course, as with everything else, there’s a sacrifice involved, with the priests getting the bounty.

There’s stuff in the beginning of the sedra about popping out fuck-souvenirs and how the priests might benefit from that as well. Interestingly, the time for ritual impurity is seven days for a boy, but 14 days for a girl. There’s a message in there. Hmmm, we might have to put in some language for gender-fluid, and of course here we can find the commandment to cut the end off a baby boy’s dick on the eighth day. Once the ritual impurity time is over, the woman must bring sacrifices to the priests. Notice a pattern? The rationale for this sacrifice is that while in the pain of childbirth, it is likely that the woman vowed never to fuck again. And she’s likely to violate that oath, therefore, ritual sacrifice is needed.

You can tell who wrote this shit.

Oh, and if you jizz, or get creampied or even take a load in the mouth, you need to buy a ticket to the mikvah (ritual bath run by… yep, the priests). It must have been fun back in the old days to walk past the bath and point and laugh at the folks in the jizz pool portion. It was dangerous to do the same to the women in the period portion. Trust me on that. In any case, facials hadn’t been invented yet, so there’s no commandment about what you do after washing up.

For some reason, this sedra is not discussed in great detail in Sunday schools.

 

 

 

About The Author

Old Man With Candy

Old Man With Candy

Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me. Wait, wrong book, I'll find something else.

284 Comments

  1. trshmnstr the terrible

    But what happens when somebody jizzes in the jizz cleansing pool? I can see some mischievous Hebrew boy doing just that.

  2. westernsloper

    ā€œYa know what? Letā€™s do a mashup of leprosy, menstruation, childbirth, and jizzing. I think thereā€™s some money to be made from this.ā€

    New Porn Hub search term written down. FFS (((you))) people gots issues.

    • Old Man With Candy

      Shu…. you know.

    • Brochettaward

      (((you))) people gots issues.

      It all starts with their mothers.

  3. westernsloper

    I have a white spot on my arm. Can I be sent to Hawaii now?

  4. Old Man With Candy

    Being home alone, I am watching the original animated Superman cartoons. The most Jewish cartoons ever. Based on a character, art, and stories of Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster, animated and produced by Max Fleischer, directed by Dave Fleischer, written by Seymour Kneitel. Music by Sammy Timberg. A veritable paucity of foreskins.

    • Hank

      What kind of instrument would be powerful enough to cut off Superman’s super-foreskin?

      • C. Anacreon

        I’m sure Superman had his bris right after he was born and still on Krypton. His dad made sure he was well prepared for the effects of the yellow sun before placing him in the rocket bassinet.

      • Old Man With Candy

        If the mohel uses a blade of Pink Kryptonite, it slices right off.

  5. Hank

    I’m no theologian, but the theme of purity makes more sense taken as a whole. It sets apart the Jews from the other nations so as to keep the people of God clear of foreign pollution.

    Before knocking the idea, recall that lots of groups have purity traditions.

    Christians, of course, but rather than go into that minefield I’ll come up with a less provocative example: Muslims, with their dietary regime and rejection of anything un-Islamic

    Then there’s the woke, with their shunning of the impure, their rituals (recycling, etc), and in short their attempt to show that they can have all the annoying aspects of religion without a God.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I have my own special purity traditions involving Kleenex and aloe.

    • Chafed

      This guy gets it.

    • ignoreLander

      Raycisssssss! Jews, like all enlightened people, know that diversity is our strength.

  6. juris imprudent

    Here’s a judge that needs to be reminded that he isn’t a king. So instead of a sword of Damocles, maybe a woodchipper under a tightrope?

    Sure, there are a load of political problems wrapped around the axle here – that doesn’t make it fodder for a federal court except for the ego of the fucking judge. Just like that sonofabitch that fucked over the Kansas City schools for years. These types really need to be made an example of, pour encourager les autres.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Wtf?

      Judges set policy now?

      • Hank

        That ship has sailed, gotten past the Suez canal, and is preparing another circumnavigation of the globe.

      • Hank

        That ship has sailed, gotten past the Suez canal, and is preparing another circumnavigation of the globe.

      • Hank

        Now what?

      • juris imprudent

        Once through the canals and the second time around the capes?

      • blackjack

        Bring the boat back the canal and jam in good so it stays a while this time. The memes were just getting good, dammit!

    • Brochettaward

      The judge is detached from reality regardless of any abuses of power. The notion that there aren’t places for the homeless to go if they desired help is ridiculous. I don’t even want to know how much LA spends on homelessness every year, and while there’s I’m sure a shit ton of graft, there’s options for these people. Many homeless for a variety of reasons don’t want the help.

      • juris imprudent

        A $1.2B bond was passed there to address homelessness – by building “affordable” housing, which now costs $500K per unit. Graft? No fucking kidding.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Back when we had proper deflationary periods, people would get pissed at their politicians for stealing their money. Now we just inflate our way out of the problems and the graft gets ignored.

        Itā€™s going to be a hell of a ride down when it truly pops.

      • blackjack

        750,000 per unit.

      • juris imprudent

        And we keep getting told there is no inflation.

      • Hyperion

        “he notion that there arenā€™t places for the homeless to go if they desired help is ridiculous.”

        The problem is twofold. A good portion of them are mentally ill. Most of the other ones won’t go to shelters because they won’t let you drink or do drugs while there.

        The mostly normal ones, wind up at the shelters.

    • Shpip

      Confiscate the judge’s house using eminent domain, convert it to a homeless shelter.

    • rhywun

      every homeless person in the downtown area must have a place to stay by Oct. 18

      Narrator: Most homeless persons in the downtown area don’t want to live by your rules, man.

      • Hyperion

        ^this^

      • C. Anacreon

        Exactly. What do you do with those people who refuse to live indoors? Force them to go inside at the point of a rifle?

        And despite the anointed’s opinion that this is a myth, I can tell you from years working in California ERs that there’s a huge swath who prefer the “nomadic lifestyle”. No rules, and no one to tell you that you can’t build a fire, shoot up, pass around a bottle, keep a shopping cart full of things you value for whatever reason, or keep your mangy mutt. Unless you make living outside illegal, you’ll never get the majority of these folks inside, no matter how much “affordable housing” you create for them.

      • blackjack

        Yeah, well they are just taking land and doing whatever they want with it. Prime land in the middle of a city. The rest of us pay through the nose to live here and we expect to be able to walk on the sidewalks and go to the park. We can’t do those things now and the government who has decided to take a bunch of our money and provide security services has done the exact opposite of what would help. Be a fucking nomad, just don’t think you can fuck up a whole town and nobody’s gonna care. Only the Pol’s don’t care.

      • ignoreLander

        Not for you to decide. They have their own agency. Stay in your cozy abode and don’t look at the crusty homeless outside.

      • Shpip

        P. J. O’Rourke had this pegged thirty years ago in Parliament of Whores. To wit:

        The facts are simple. A government house-building orgy won’t work
        because one third of the homeless are crazy and will jump out the windows
        and one third are screwed up on drink and drugs and will sell the plumbing.
        The rest have primarily economic problems, but we can keep giving them
        free housing forever, and it won’t help. The law of supply and demand tells
        us that when the price of something is artifically set below market level
        there will soon be none of that thing leftā€”as you may have noticed the last
        time you tried to buy something for nothing.

    • blackjack

      I’m torn. Garcetti is running a graft scam with the homeless money. He paid 750,000 per apartment and 130,000 per tiny house (8×8 shack) he is enriching his donor class. During all of this, homelessness has gotten 3-4 times as bad. Somebody needs to hold him to account. However, WTF is with making us pay for hundreds of thousands of people’s housing? Fuck those bastards. Arrest them for stealing the land they’ve taken and when they get out, arrest them again if they go back. Throw away all the stolen bicycles and garbage they have and stop giving them free stuff.

      • rhywun

        It’s nuts.

        And every single action they take just invites more of them. And TMITE print sob stories about the homeless vet and his dog, or the homeless mom and her baby, not the strung-out meth-head who harasses passers-by for cash or the mentally-ill subway pusher.

      • blackjack

        Seems like that is a blue team staple now. Look at Bidenarris, promising that underage illegals will get to stay. Who knew that hundreds of thousands of them would suddenly appear at the border? Wait, you mean if I promise the homeless free stuff, they will multiply? Naw!

      • Rat on a train

        Something about you get more of what you subsidize.

    • westernsloper

      They are going in an opposite direction around here.

    • Gustave Lytton

      I blame the 9th Circus and the city of Boise for establishing that providing housing is the government responsibility and cannot prevent bums from squatting wherever they please.

  7. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Iā€™m witnessing a FB meltdown from a former high school history teacher. Heā€™s ranting and raving about Red Hats that refuse to believe the truth and also lie about their belief in the rule of law and democracy.

    It would be funny if it werenā€™t so typical.

    • Brochettaward

      Red Hats are Trump supporters, right? I really wish that was the term for Trump supporters that goes down in the history books.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I suppose so. Iā€™m going to fuck with him tomorrow. Should be easy.

  8. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Iā€™m confused about the ritual impurity at birth. Is that an extension of original sin?

    • Hank

      I think it may be the blood and icky stuff.

      • Chafed

        What Hank said.

  9. wdalasio

    Please forgive the rant, but….
    Abortion is one of those issues I find brings out the silliest in people.
    I don’t believe life begins at conception. Our entire notion of humanity has always centered on our ability to reason. And a single-cell fertilized egg doesn’t have much of a reasoning capacity. The brain waves associated with thought start to show up around the end of the second trimester, IIRC. But, the vast majority of abortions happen before that point. And, in those cases (again, the vast majority) I’m perfectly okay with saying the only person whose wishes should enter into the equation is the woman. Late-term abortions are a different matter because, in that case, there is another person involved and abortion seems to me an act of aggression. But, this represents a damned small portion of total abortions. If nothing else, because it becomes dangerous.
    So, you’d think, from this I’d be pretty much pro-choice. And I probably am. The thing is, so much of what I hear from the pro-choice camp is utterly bone-headed. The central point of disagreement is whether another living person is involved in the equation. The pro-life camp think there is. And that’s why they oppose abortion. Not because they want to “control the woman’s body”. But, because they think she’s killing another person. Now, as I said, I mostly don’t agree with them about that. I think they’re wrong. But, if I thought the fetus was a person, I’d probably agree with them wholeheartedly. Because, no, whether another person is a living person isn’t a “personal choice”. That’s just stupid. If you think that, can the congregation of the Westboro Baptist Church decide gay people aren’t people and do what they want? Can the KKK or the neo-Nazis decide Jews and black people don’t count? Of course not. And while we’re at it, can we stop with the “I’m personally opposed to abortion, but I don’t think it should be a law.” stuff? If it’s not a person, there’s really not much reason to be opposed to killing a fetus. And if it is a person, well, you’re saying you don’t think there should be laws against killing innocent people.
    Okay, thanks for your patience. I just wanted to get the rant off my chest.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      *pats wdalasio on the back, hands him a paper bag to breathe into *

    • blackjack

      Yes. I think there’s a reasonable case from both sides. For that reason, I can’t support treating it like murder. I lean more prolife, but at a certain point it’s more because of my beliefs than any objective facts. It’s crazy that people are bombing buildings and killing each other over this issue. People from both sides of the debate. Especially when it should be clear that the law will pretty much continue to allow it in the early term scenario, anyway.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Itā€™s crazy that people are bombing buildings and killing each other over this issue.

        Why? The occasionally violent side literally, actually, no shit, no rhetorical games believes that the US is engaged in mass murder that makes the Holocaust look small. The ones blowing up abortion clinics see themselves as akin to concentration camp liberators, killing the mass murderers and saving innumerable innocents.

        Theres a reason abortion is my #1 issue every election. It is life or death to me. I’m not going to use violence to stand against it, but the single biggest injustice this country inflicts on me is forcing me to pay, through my tax dollars, for those abominable murders.

      • blackjack

        I agree that forcing anyone to pay for it is evil. I’m way more inclined to be prolife. Paying for it and prosecuting it like murder are two different things. Killing people for being involved in it is a whole ‘nother thing. Like I said, It comes down to a belief. Murdering a person who’s already been born is objectively wrong. If it hinges on a debatable belief, we can’t treat it like it’s murder. Although I’m more incline to FEEL like it is.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Murdering a person whoā€™s already been born is objectively wrong.

        Objectively by what standard? Sacrificing people to various gods has been tradition in many cultures. Cannibalism was practiced in many places. The Romans used to abandon their born but unwanted babies in the woods to be eaten by wildlife. Undesirables have been massacred the world over. Low class people have been tortured to death for sport in many cultures.

        The point I’m getting at is that it’s only so objectively, obviously wrong to murder when you’re immersed in a society that has benefitted from millennia of western philosophy and theology. Yet, that same legacy of thought points to abortion being murder, too.

        I think sometimes the discussion gets too caught up in whether the embryo/fetus is a person or not. We put them through a battery of hypothetical tests to determine largely irrelevant metrics. Could they survive in a place they’re not supposed to be able to survive yet? Do they have this intrinsic personhood that we can’t define or measure? Does their body function like a fully developed human’s body despite not being fully developed? What gets lost in the shuffle is that there is a unique human life that was created and is then killed. That’s not disputable. There was a life, it was not the same as its mother, it was human. Now it is dead. It was killed.

        What is murder? The intentional, unjustified killing of a human. It says nothing about whether that human has a “soul” or whether that human can live unassisted or whether that human is fully developed. 1) intentional, 2) unjustified, 3) killing of a, 4) human

        Is abortion intentional? Of course. Is abortion unjustified? 99% of the time, yes. Is abortion killing? Undeniably. Is what is killed a human? Yes.

      • wdalasio

        Is what is killed a human? Yes.

        Is it human? Yes. Is it a human? That’s a lot less clear.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        What’s the difference? It is human, it is alive. What would you call that except for “a human”?

      • Gadfly

        Itā€™s crazy that people are bombing buildings and killing each other over this issue.

        John Brown says hi. There will always be a fringe that gets radical and goes too far, even when their cause may be righteous.

      • Brochettaward

        See, if you think its murder…literally the murder of millions of babies, then I’d think violence would be the rational response for most people.

        That is pretty much genocide. What is the appropriate response to genocide? People aren’t violent because on some level, abortion has been normalized even for its most ardent opponents.

      • Plinker762

        How much abortion clinic bombing is actually happening now?

    • Brochettaward

      Can the KKK or the neo-Nazis decide Jews and black people donā€™t count?

      I mean, eugenics were pretty key to the rationale for the Final Solution. And the abortion movements ties with eugenics are well known around here. These aren’t just theoretical arguments. People made these connections a century ago and the progs today like to believe they’ve dumped all the icky bad parts of the philosophies but kept the policies.

      I’m ambivalent on abortion. But when it comes to the subject, it annoys the shit out of me when some braindead 20 year old girl repeats some nonsense talking point about old white men wanting to tell women what they can do with their bodies. As if that’s the argument.

      If I honestly thought millions of babies were being murdered every year, I’d think that would be a legit cause for no shit revolution, personally. But I don’t hold those views.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The left is not content to disagree. They feel the need to demonize any and all opposition. Theyā€™re worse than the socons ever were now.

    • juris imprudent

      Our entire notion of humanity has always centered on our ability to reason.

      No. We have been humans long before we developed the faculty of reason. We were full on humans when we gamboled the earth, hunting and gathering, and giving thanks to mysterious beings in the heavens (just to keep this slightly on topic). Scientifically, life begins at conception – it is the branch of biology called ontogeny. There is only one thing that fertilized egg will develop into and it ain’t a puppy. That is where reason, and science, take us.

      Now, while this is life, it isn’t alive in the independent human being sense. Want to really fuck with someone – have them explain when and where the soul enters into this. During the first cellular division? After the brain stem forms? Because the soul/conscious is where the real argument is, and science won’t tell you shit about that.

      The problem with the pro-lifers is the problem with every other democratic decision – hey buddy, stop doing that. There’s just not much moral basis other than “there’s more of us, so there”. Which means, you leave it up to each women to decide about her own body.

      • Brochettaward

        Thereā€™s just not much moral basis

        I don’t get this view. They genuinely believe that at conception, it’s a being with a soul. That’s the pro-life argument.

        Abortion by that view would be murder. Hyperbole’s article and little catchphrase refers to petty, and victimless behavior (at least, that would be my own takeaway). Not murder, though maybe he’d like to chime in. It’s not just the woman’s body at that point.

      • juris imprudent

        They genuinely believe that at conception, itā€™s a being with a soul.

        Convince me where the soul comes from, or what strands of DNA are responsible for it. Otherwise we’re arguing over how many angels can dance on the head of a pin. Or, alternatively, let’s have an official state religion so that religious laws are civil as well; I’d opt out of living under such an arrangement, but it would at least have some logical coherence.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Thereā€™s just not much moral basis other than ā€œthereā€™s more of us, so thereā€.

        “Don’t kill people” would be the moral basis the pro-lifers lean on.

      • juris imprudent

        Which always mutates into “… except for these people, under those circumstances”. We kill in self defense and that violates “don’t kill people”. We kill under just war doctrine. We kill after due process. Now we can of course debate whether it is kill or murder, and since Chauvin can be convicted of three different charges of killing, apparently there is almost no limit to how many times that hair can be split.

        If we’re going to hold to OT teaching, then there are few more laws we all better start observing.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Yeah, I was being lazy and said kill instead of murder. Point stands though. The moral foundation is “thou shalt not murder”

      • wdalasio

        We were full on humans when we gamboled the earth, hunting and gathering, and giving thanks to mysterious beings in the heavens (just to keep this slightly on topic).

        But, we did reason when we gamboled the plains, hunting and gathering, and giving thanks to mysterious beings in the heavens. It may not have been formal structured logic, but it was logical problem solving. It involved organizing behavior across individuals and time, developing and using tools, etc. That’s all evidence of reasoning. And those behaviors seem pretty unique to humans.

        And, while I certainly agree that the fertilized human egg is alive and will only develop into a human being, I think it’s a bit of a stretch to say it exists as a human being, at that point. Batter in the oven does not a cake make.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I think itā€™s a bit of a stretch to say it exists as a human being

        Why? Because it can’t do things that more fully developed humans can do? Why does that matter? Why does it need to jump through hoops to be considered a “real” human?

        “Not yet a person” begs the question. It’s post hoc rationalization that stems from and affirms a pro-choice stance. I could just as easily rationalize my way to “it’s obviously a person” from a pro-life stance. That’s why personhood is a red herring. It’s unknowable and ill defined and can be morphed to fit the argument.

        What we do know is that it is a unique (separate from the mother) human life. Focusing on those facts and ignoring the rest of the noise, ending that life has a name… Killing. Abortion is killing a human life. The only debate around abortion is whether that human life is of consequence or not.

      • Hyperion

        We should have just searched tirelessly for woke culture until we found it. That way we could have committed suicide of the species way back then and would have never invented the internet.

    • Swiss Servator

      So…when does a human spring into existence? If you took a DNA test of a fertilized egg – what species would it show?

      • Hyperion

        Well, first there’s a parasite (an actual PhD researcher actually said that right in front of me and several other people, and she was dead serious). So first, the parasite, and then just a glob of cells. But if they let the thing go to term, then out pops a human. I think the human fairy sprinkles some magical glob of cells to human dust during that part. SCIENCE!

      • Swiss Servator

        That is what infuriates me most… IFLS types say …KNO HOOMAN UNTIL…UH, SUMTHING.

      • Hyperion

        I’ve often wondered what would happen if we could get some crazy to go around performing abortions on cats, so that they don’t have to get spayed? I can just see the outrage mob go crazy over the cruelty to animals. Those poor unborn kitties! They’re kitties in the womb! But humans, nope, just a glob of cells.

      • Rat on a train

        It’s not human until it is woke.

      • CPRM

        The rebuttal you’ll year, is an acorn an oak tree? Is an egg a chicken?

        These are philosophical questions, I as an anti-abortion catholic do take into account when it comes to politics, which aren’t religion.

      • Pine_Tree

        To start with, I’m as pro-life as they come, so I won’t bother repeating any of trashy’s stuff above.

        Just to add, though, there’s an NAP/risk-management reason as well, and it’s basically “what if you’re wrong on the humanity/personhood thing?”
        – If you’re a pro-lifer and you’re wrong, then the result is that something that’s not human becomes human (even by y’all’s definitions). And even if you want to fall back on the dubious “you’re enslaving the woman” argument, well, then let’s agree for a moment to accept that for the sake of this exercise.
        – If you’re OK with abortion, and you’re wrong, then the result is murder of an innocent.

        One of these is way, way worse than the other.

        Hence the libertarian case against abortion.

  10. Hank

    Also, I believe that the deal with the priests is that the other 11 tribes got land to support themselves, but the Levite (priestly) tribe only have the one job and no land.

    • Old Man With Candy

      The priests were Kohanim. The Levites were basically just caretakers and drones for the temple business. Poor Kohanim, they had to live in a palatial area while taking their loot, instead of out in the dirt in huts, scrabbling with goats and manual agriculture like the other Jews..

      • Hank

        Interesting…of course priestly corruption is always a bit of an issue, by which I mean a major issue. I believe Jesus said something about the priests and putative religious reformers of his day.

  11. DEG

    So, what you’re saying is, is being a Jewish priest is a good job.

    • Hank

      It’s like a tradeoff. They don’t get any land, but they still have to eat, so they get part of the sacrifices (not the part belonging to God, of course).

    • westernsloper

      Unless you are assigned to the jizz bath.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Being a Jewish princess is better.

  12. Scruffy Nerfherder

    LOL, the LP wasted no time sending out an email about how they approve of the Chauvin verdict.

    Asshats

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The party is a lost cause. Theyā€™re just a bunch of virtue signaling assholes now.

      • blackjack

        I don’t think it can be argued that Chauvin got a fair trial. I’m pretty much OK with the outcome, but I have serious issues with the process. We had witness intimidation ( and all of the witnesses haven’t even finished testifying yet) no change of venue ( from the very city which burned for a few months and has threatened to burn again if the verdict doesn’t please them) AND the jury was not sequestered, thereby being exposed to heavily biased and threatening statements. It just wasn’t fair, even if I agree with the outcome. I think 12 years or so is about right for what he did, and that’s what he’s likely to get.

      • Hank

        Don’t get me wrong – for all I know he could be 100% guilty of everything, just like the verdict says.

        Normally I presume jury verdicts are correct unless shown incorrect.

        Still, I do wonder how they’re going to defend the trial as fair given all the potential jury contamination.

        The judge seemed willing to presume the jury to be untainted, but even the judge suggested that what with Waters’ comments, a higher court might overturn the conviction.

        I wonder when they *would* grant a change of venue or a sequestration order, if they didn’t do it here?

      • blackjack

        The judge was pissed about Maxipad’s comments because he went out on a limb by not sequestering the jury and she heavily tilted the field against his decision being right. That’s why the strong language.

      • Brochettaward

        If he gets 12 years, they riot. They may be rioting right now for all I know as I’m not paying much attention.

        Basically, the threat of the mob hangs over the entire justice process here. The prosecution is arguing that he should get a steeper punishment than 12 years do to supposedly “extenuating circumstances.” Those circumstances can’t be named in court, but we all know what they actually are.

      • blackjack

        He’s going to get 12 or 15. He has no priors and a long record as a cop, fighting for justice, blah,blah. There will be riots.

      • Breet Pharara

        Honestly, I’m not too upset with the way the judge handled the trial. He was trying to treat it as ordinarily as he could while dealing with the media and politicians circling like vultures. Changing venues is rather extreme in a legal setting, and while the judge may have been a bit naive, he clearly wasn’t expecting this much bullshit from the outside. Outside of that, he was fair and made sure the defense had a fighting chance. And really, Chauvin deserved something. I’ve been Man 2 from the opening, but Murder 2 isn’t an outrageous charge for what he did. The asshat politicians and race-baters may be using the trial for their own personal agendas, but I don’t have too much issue with anything that happened.

      • blackjack

        3rd in Minnesota is plain ‘ole felony murder. If he was committing a felony and the guy died, he’s guilty.

      • blackjack

        I’m sorry, I meant 2nd. 2nd degree murder in Minnesota is plain ‘ole felony murder. Not third. Third is depraved indifference.

      • Hank

        I’m sure the judge is a fairminded sort.

        It may even be the case that the jury convicted in spite of the implied threats, not because of them. “We don’t like these rioters, but we’re going to do justice regardless of what they want.”

        In any case, I hope that by the time the higher court(s) look at this trial, the mob will have had its attention distracted by some other shiny object and the judicial process will have the chance to operate in a more normal environment.

      • Brochettaward

        and while the judge may have been a bit naive, he clearly wasnā€™t expecting this much bullshit from the outside.

        You are a far more…understanding…individual than I am. Because all of this was predictable here. Minneapolis was a warzone in the summer over this and the politicians from the top to bottom were all weighing in. It needed a change in venue at the least. I don’t know how you don’t sequester the jury at the least, though I’m no expert.

        He mismanaged this thing.

      • Breet Pharara

        I disagree. A politician saying something is bad, but doesn’t really warrant sequestration. The $27 million settlement just before the trial, the pigs head being left on the defense’s witnesses door (or rather the door of the house he used to live at) were well beyond what the judge saw coming and I can’t really blame him for that.

        Don’t get me wrong, the “system” did everything they could to influence the trial, but by the rules of the court, I don’t think much could have been done to prevent it.

      • Swiss Servator

        You are being a bit naĆÆve, if I may say so as a 5 year Assistant State’s Attorney… this guy knew what as what…and he let it all go regardless. He was looking out for his ass and didn’t care for “justice” one fooking bit.

      • Hyperion

        He didn’t get a fair trial. He couldn’t have. The charge should have been manslaughter. They overcharged and now that will get a challenge for sure. And then it will make it easier for a cop doing the same thing again to get off easier.

        But that’s the plan all along. What Maxine did was not her own thoughts, she’s an idiot. The dems told her to do it because they want to keep this shit going forever. They don’t want police reform, they want the turmoil. It’s their ticket. without a constant state of turmoil, they have nothing.

    • Tejicano

      It’s a political party – doncha get it? What kind of arty would it be without a few cocktails?

  13. westernsloper

    I had to make a run to the “big city” this afternoon for reasons. As I was sitting in the drive through of a totally shady looking Mexican place waiting to shove a taco in my face, I saw a dude riding one of these. He was going up hill on the sidewalk. I need one of those I thought that is cool as fuck! Then I went to their website. I didn’t pay much more than that for my car. Ya, I will pass. The taco was awesome BTW.

    • db

      “hack your commute”

      FFS.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Itā€™s edgy, man.

    • Brochettaward

      But you can get it for as little as $75 a month!

    • rhywun

      Fun toy, I guess, but hard pass on “hacking my commute”. I like to read or listen to music during my commute, not maintain balance with nothing hold on to.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        That price seems out of whack for something that is just a fun toy. $1800? I could buy a much better mode of transportation with that money.

      • DrOtto

        They’re just ahead of the inflationary curve.

    • blackjack

      Yeah, my kid and I met a chick at the skatepark with one and she let us ride it a bit. I told her it was cool A/F and she said I should get one for the kid. I got home and found out what they cost and he’s still riding his skateboard around.

    • Hyperion

      Fauci has a face only a Karen could love.

    • Chafed

      14 and 22 make a convincing argument.

  14. DrOtto

    I read the whole article and still have to go to “Jew or not Jew” to find out the answer to the question.

    • Chafed

      Fake headline!

  15. Drake

    My favorite story in Genesis was the guy God killed because he was pulling out of his sister-in-law and jizzing on the ground instead of knocking her up. Judah ended up doing the job by accident.

    • blackjack

      My favorite story in Genesis was the one where the sheep goes cruising around on Broadway. Man, that was a gas!

    • juris imprudent

      Honestly, I don’t need more reason to hate that little shit.

      • Brochettaward

        But he’s totally not political.

      • juris imprudent

        I’m sure he believes that about himself. Which is the best proof he is a liar.

    • blackjack

      Surprised he didn’t try being pro-gun at first, just to trip us up a bit. He can always switch it later.

    • rhywun

      Quack.

    • Q Continuum

      As if this wasn’t the plan from the beginning.

      “KLYMUTT KRYSUS! PUBLIK HELTH ISHOO!”
      “GUN KUNTROLL! PUBLIK HELTH ISHOO!”
      “HAYT SPEETCH! PUBLIK HELTH ISHOO!”
      “RAYSISM! PUBLIK HELTH ISHOO!”

      They discovered that they can shit all over whatever liberties they want in the guise of PUBLIK HELTH and the plebes will expose their collective bellies. They have a shiny new toy and they ain’t giving it up.

      • Hank

        You know, prior to the current pestilence I had a fairly naive notion that there was this utterly reasonable and science-y public health exception to standard legal procedure – I’d read stories of quarantine orders against people carrying Ebola, and I thought these laws were in place for that kind of ultra-dangerous situation.

        But there’s no power, not even a legitimate power, which isn’t subject to some dickhead abusing it to build a bureaucratic empire and reduce the citizen’s liberties.

        “Ah, public health, what crimes are committed in your name!”

  16. Hank

    So, a guy is arrested for child porn, but after 14 months in prison they can’t find evidence to back up the charge so it’s dropped.

    Now they charge him for jail fees…based on a statute that a prisoner can be ordered by “the sentencing court” to pay his prison expenses…there was no sentencing court in this case because he wasn’t convicted, ergo he wasn’t sentenced.

    https://www.kentucky.com/news/politics-government/article250794574.html

    I thought this thing of charging innocent people for the costs of their imprisonment went out with the 19th century.

    • blackjack

      They tried that with me in the coffee spilling incident. I told the clerk to fuck off. Verbatim and in open court. My wife/lawyer was pissed. They gave up really quickly, after speaking to a supervisor. That clerk was scared for his life a second. It felt pretty good.

      • Brochettaward

        They tried that with me in the coffee spilling incident.

        What’s the story on that?

      • blackjack

        It’s another long and somewhat crazy story.

        They outlawed smoking in downtown Burbank, but the law read that you could still smoke if you were three feet away from the curb, so I did just that. This big body builder dude confronted me and actually pushed me and threw a fit generally. He then called the cops. When they found out what happened, they bitched HIM out and asked me if I wanted to have him arrested. I said no, I just want to be left alone.

        The next day, his boyfriend walked by me on his into Starbucks and spit at my feet as he passed. Later, I went in and got some coffee. Same guy starts mumbling under his breath about what an asshole I am et cetera. On my way out, I stopped at his table and told him to shut the fuck up and leave me alone. As I did that, I flailed my arms a bit and, apparently squeezed my coffee cup enough to pop the lid off. Coffee hit the table, rolled across and dripped into his lap. He screamed and made a huge scene.

        Starbucks kicked us both out. I just stopped going there and thought that was that. About two years later, I was driving to get get some food when an undercover cop flew up alongside of me and opened his door while forcing me off the road. I wasn’t even sure he was a cop. Three more cop cars pulled up and they arrested me for misdo battery. They made me pay 500.00 cash bail and gave me a court date.

        Turned out the boyfriend was quite litigious and began lobbying for max penalties. The DA lapped it up and tried to get me for a hate crime. He offered me 100 anger management classes if I pled guilty. I told him to pound sand, I want a jury trial. There was maybe 5 court dates. Eventually, the judge sided with me and invoked a new law that allowed him to assign a probationary period and if I passed probation he could dismiss the charges against the will of the prosecutor. He did just that. Under this new law, it’s as if I was never arrested.

        My wife represented me and did a great job. I just scowled at the whole process the entire time, which made me appear to have been wronged by the very fact of it ( narrator: he was, in fact wronged by it)

        Later I found out the boyfriend was suing James Cameron, claiming that he had written a children’s story which was the real basis for Avatar.

        Told you it was a long story.

      • blackjack

        The probationary period was thirty days. The prosecutor was pissed about the whole thing. My wife kept filing motions and telling my story to the judge via them. The judge was seemingly on the verge of telling the prosecutor off by the end of the whole charade. When I got hired by the city, they made me get an abstract because my record reflected the arrest, but no disposition. The feds supply arrest info, but that’s it. I was delayed by about a month while I acquired the abstract.

      • Swiss Servator

        I might have hit someone over the head with a pick handle…just sayin’….

      • blackjack

        Oh, and after the judge informed me that I was cleared of all charges and I could proceed as if I was never arrested, a clerk came up to me as I was leaving and claimed that I owed for the court costs. That’s when I told him to fuck off and that he was a thief. He sheepishly said that he would ask his supervisor and could I please just wait a minute. Came back and said, yeah, you’re free to go no charge.

      • Swiss Servator

        I would have been extending middle fingers en masse…

      • blackjack

        I was close. It was pretty bad to tell the clerk to fuck off and that he was a thief when I was up on charges that I attacked a guy. You kinda don’t wanna come off as easily angered, in that scenario. Trying to charge me for the privilege of being tried was enough to get that reaction.

      • Brochettaward

        I had a buddy who was dating a female lawyer. I used to call her single female lawyer to annoy him.

        Fun story. The body builder sounds like a busy-bodied cunt with an even cuntier boyfriend.

      • blackjack

        Yeah, I haven’t needed a lawyer too many times, but the wife has come through when I did.

    • Q Continuum

      Everything old is new again.

      • Hank

        I recall reading about how some of the suspects in the Salem witch trials managed to escape conviction, so the government said they were free to go…just as soon as they paid their jail fees. They’d have to stay in jail until then. And I was like, “what horrible backwards people those weird-hat-wearing Massachusetts guys must have been!”

        Now, they’re not keeping this current guy in prison, but they’re sending him bills for the privilege of being locked up as a suspected kiddie porn guy. The it’s “oops, guess it’s not you, here’s your bill for staying in or facility, you scrounger!”

  17. Brochettaward

    ā€œThe past year following George Floydā€™s death has been extremely painful for the Minnesota community, particularly for the Stateā€™s Black residents,ā€ the Vikings said. ā€œWhile todayā€™s decision does not minimize the anguish or solve the intolerable issues of racism and hate, we hope it can mark the beginning of community healing.

    ā€œNow, more than ever, it is crucial to respectfully listen, communicate and engage in order for us to move toward an equitable society. We must address the unacceptable continued violence and hate toward People of Color and commit to using our individual and collective voices to end the divisiveness and racial injustice.

    The Vikings’ statement on the Chauvin verdict. The capitalizing of black and people of color makes me gag.

    • Q Continuum

      Serious question:

      Is there any actual, y’know, evidence that Chauvin was acting out of racial malice? I mean, the guy is scum and I actually think he probably deserved the verdict he got (after hearing that he was shooing away EMTs trying to help Floyd I was pretty much done), but the immediate and relentless cries of RAYSISM seem unsubstantiated to me.

      • Hyperion

        It’s all part of the plan. They’re making it all about racism because they know it will keep the constant strife going and nothing will ever get done about police brutality. They don’t want anything done. If something was done it might put somewhat of a damper on their race baiting. And that’s the last thing they want.

      • rhywun

        Well, we don’t have any evidence of him crushing the trachea of some white guy. You decide. ?ā€ā™‚ļø

    • creech

      ” unacceptable continued violence and hate toward People of Color ”
      Wouldn’t it be nice if they acknowledged that this violence against Colored People is coming from other Colored People?

      • Hyperion

        That part doesn’t count.

      • commodious spittoon

        That’s just, like, their culture, man.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      Everybody has to release a statement on this. Nobody can mind their own fucking business and stay out of politics these days, eh?

      I’ll get an email tomorrow from my CEO. It will say the same sorts of things. It will announce some more racist, bigoted resources being supplied by the bigots in HR. It may even include additional I&D training requirements. It’s so damned predictable and unnecessary.

      • Hyperion

        I think it’s that we have created so much ‘make work’ type of work, that we need people to have something to do. So we have the people who come up with the signaling. The people who author the signaling. The people who make up work for the other people to do because of the signaling…

    • Breet Pharara

      While I defend the verdict, let me say fuck these woke corporations. Even if he acted out of line, there is NOTHING that says that race played any role in this.

      • Hyperion

        Agreed.

        “there is NOTHING that says that race played any role in this.”

        There’s nothing that says race was involved in most of the other cases they say it was. In the entire Asian parlor murder things, the detectives were all saying race was not involved. But that didn’t even slow down the narrative.

        Pretty much the only time race is involved, it’s a Jussie type hoax.

    • rhywun

      Whew – I was hanging on their opinion here. Now I can go to bed and rest easy.

      • Swiss Servator

        *enthusiastic thumbs up*

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      We must address the unacceptable continued violence and hate toward People of Color[.]

      *Demonstrating that there is racially motivated violence and hate towards people of color optional.

    • Old Man With Candy

      We do remember that one of the cops involved was, errrr, a Policeman of Color?

      • Hyperion

        There was also that other sort of white person, I think they call them Asian.

      • slumbrew

        That’s the same as white when it fits the narrative.

      • Gender Traitor

        Except it’s OK to hate white people.

      • slumbrew

        *flips open wristband, consults playsheet*

        It’s OK to hate Asians when they’re cops. Or when they’re kulaks.

      • rhywun

        Or high school students.

      • Hyperion

        When I was in first grade, one of my best friends was Korean. Somehow I got stuck with Koreans all through school and still cannot get rid of them.

        Anyway, his name was Kenny. And we’d call him Chinese and he’d get mad and say ‘I’m not Chinese, I’m Korean!’. And we didn’t know what a Korea was.

        And we’d, I mean the entire class would just start chanting in unison ‘Chinese Kenny, Yellow Kenny!’ over and over until the teacher would make us stop.

        Imagine that today.

      • Chipwooder

        White adjacent, yes

      • Hyperion

        I thinks I screwed that up. I think it’s supposed to be ‘the white people of colored people’.

        Damn it was so much easier when we could just call them Asian. Or Oriental. Or yellow man. Or Chingy Lingy. Or Gook. Or Slant eye. Or any of that other fun stuff.

      • Tejicano

        White people are just another variety of Asian. That’s why they’re called cauc-asian.

      • Hyperion

        lol

      • Hyperion

        BTW, I first read that as ‘cuck-asian’.

      • Chafed

        That was great. I have to tuck that away.

      • Hyperion

        I remember when one of my Korean co-workers asked me about the term Oriental. I said ‘Yeah, back before we called y’all Asian, we’d use Oriental’, which is what I think meant ‘East Asian’.

        Then he asks me why it’s supposed to be bad to say that. And I said ‘because we have a bunch of hyper-sensitive morons running the place from their asylums, it was never meant to be derogatory. If you want to talk about derogatory, my grandpa who was in the Korean war used to call y’all Gooks’. He asked me to repeat and then he’s laughing like a mad hyena, goes up to my other Korean co-worker and says ‘Hey, you gook! I always know you gook!’ and keeps laughing like a mad hyena.

        You know how when you meet an Asian who is crazy? They’re REALLY crazy, him more than most. He hates commies though, so I like him and he can be hysterical at times.

      • Tejicano

        We get the word “Gook” from Korean where they refer to themselves, the Korean people, as “Hanguk”. “Han” is the name of their tribe or nation and “Guk” means “people”. So “Gook” basically means “Person” or “People” in Korean.

        They call Americans “Miguk”. So I would refer to myself, as an American, as “Miguk” – which sounds like “Me gook”.

      • C. Anacreon

        It’s like that old song.

        Waiting, anticipating,

        To get somewhere gook opera is done

        Well I swear, we were doing eighty,

        To see GƶtterdƤmmerung in Saigon !

        And we were rocking into the night,

        Rockin’ into the night

    • slumbrew

      What was their statement regarding Daniel Shaver?

    • Rat on a train

      I was going to go out to dinner last night, but the restaurant hadn’t released a statement yet. Hopefully all the local businesses release statements soon. I don’t feel comfortable going into a business without knowing where they stand.

  18. Hyperion

    Right now, the riot thugs are doing what? Sitting around waiting to see the sentencing as the trigger? Say he gets 15 years. He does 7.5 time served. And during that time, he gets to appeal and wins because he couldn’t get a fair trial. So he’s out in 2 years. Then more rioting. Yippeee!!!! The riot thugs think he’s getting the death penalty, don’t they? Even if he did, they’d be out there chanting for ‘death by knee!’ wouldn’t they?

    • Brochettaward

      The fortifying the election story had an overlooked tidbit about how on election night the bigwig mastermind behind it all basically ordered the Dems foot soldiers to stand down. No one took to the streets on election night because they were told not to by people in the upper echelons of the Democratic party.

      There won’t be much rioting I suspect, because there’s no longer a benefit to it. You may have some random acts of violence, but the core of it started by antifa and organized BLM activists? That shit is over until a Republican gets elected. I suspect even if the verdict had gone the other way, the riots we would have seen would have been nothing compared to what happened under Trump.

      • Hyperion

        I dunno. I think at some point the left are going to create a monster they cannot control. And then what? They beat down their own stormtroopers? Although, I have to admit that useful idiots are best at being useful when needed and at all other times just being idiots.

      • Brochettaward

        They beat down their own stormtroopers?

        Look at how quick they have been to call in the National Guard now that Trump is gone. The answer is yes. If they can’t get a handle on it, they will crack skulls. And they’ll get away with it.

      • Hyperion

        Maybe that’s why they’re bringing the Mexican children. To take BLMs place.

        NLM! Ninos Lives Matter!

        See, it all started with that Hispanic kid the cops just shot. All a setup…

      • Gadfly

        And then what? They beat down their own stormtroopers?

        Yes. That’s literally what happened in the Night of the Long Knives.

  19. CPRM

    A few weeks ago I watched Mank (2020) , the Netflix David Fincher film about the writer of Citizen Kane. It was a good movie, but there was one scene that seemed out of place, where William Randolph Hearst was praising FDR and deriding Hitler (before the war started). Seemed off to me, a bit of anachronistic.

    Tonight I watched RKO 281 (1999), also about the production of Citizen Kane. 21 years earlier this film depicted Hearst calling FDR a Bolshevik and worrying he would get us into war with Germany. There was also this bit where they show Hearst threating the Jews who ran Hollywood with exposing them as gay pederasts (he had photographic proof they all were!)

    The Times, They Are Achangin. And history too?

    • Swiss Servator

      “And history too?”

      Always.

      /BA and MA in History

      • CPRM

        Yeah, that part was rhetorical.

    • Brochettaward

      threating the Jews who ran Hollywood with exposing them as gay pederasts (he had photographic proof they all were!)

      The more things change, the more they stay the same, I guess. Though it aint just the Jews of Hollywood.

      • CPRM

        The Jews of Bollywood too?

      • Gustave Lytton

        No, those are gay bovinerasts.

      • Brochettaward

        Do the Jews run Bollywood, too? They truly are responsible for all the evil in the world.

  20. rhywun

    All in the Family has a warning now that it might contain offensive language. On the old-people channel.

      • CPRM

        I would have thought it was Lear’s over use of ‘youse’

  21. Gustave Lytton

    Did Garfunkel kill Laurie Bird?

    • blackjack

      Who cares? She made it long enough to make Two lane Blacktop. A badass movie with a bitchin’ 55 Chevy!

      • Gustave Lytton

        Monte Hellman died today, which prompted my pondering.

    • CPRM

      I thought Simon killed Garfunkel…or was that Simon and Simon…

      • straffinrun

        Every time I met my buddy from Spain, I asked him what duet sang Bridge Over Troubled Waters. ā€œEez Seemon ee Garfoonclays. Why you keepa asking me that?ā€

      • CPRM
    • Chafed

      Dating Art Garfunkel would depress me too.

    • Hank

      This will be passed off as a generation-gap issue – “otherwise-woke black professor indulges his nostalgia, and did we mention he’s, like, old?”

      • Hank

        We have a word – “xenophobia” – to describe a fear of people from other places. What word can we use to describe fear of people from other *times*?

      • Hank

        PS – I don’t know if Howard is sincerely abolishing its classics department out of wokeness, or whether wokeness is a cover for an economic decision.

      • Gadfly

        Wouldn’t xenophobia still work? “Xenos” means strange/foreign, and people from other times are just as strange/foreign as people from other places.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Cliophobia?

      • C. Anacreon

        Was the fifth Olds the Delta 88?

      • Chipwooder

        Cutlass Supreme.

        A 1983 Cutlass Supreme was my grandfather’s last car. Years later, my uncle turned it into a street racer while leaving the exterior the same. It was a total sleeper – you’d never guess what that sucker had under the hood.

      • Tejicano

        (FTA) “However, which customs, cultures, habits, and ideas specifically constituted the “Four Olds” were never clearly defined.”

        It seems the current crop of marxists have copied this as well. Much more useful this way.

  22. Brochettaward

    Mark Davis, Raiders owner, takes credit for the best tweet of the day:

    n the aftermath of the verdict that found Derek Chauvin guilty on all counts in connection with the murder of George Floyd, the Raiders have created an unexpected controversy via a heavily-criticized tweet.

    ā€œI can breathe,ā€ the team said from an account with 1.7 million followers.

    ā€œThatā€™s my tweet,ā€ owner Mark Davis said, via the Las Vegas Review-Journal. ā€œI donā€™t want anyone in the organization taking heat. I take full responsibility for that.

    ā€œI was driving home from a meeting when the verdict came in. Soon after, I was listening to George Floydā€™s brother, Philonise, speak. And he said, ā€˜Today, we are able to breathe again.ā€™ I took my lead from him. In my mind, that was all I needed to say, ā€˜I can breathe.’ā€

    • Hyperion

      Everyone on the Raiders roster quit immediately and all other teams have vowed to never travel again to play in the Deathstar.

      MUST.SIGNAL.MOAR.HARDER!

    • Chafed

      It’s as bad as his haircut.

    • Chafed

      I’m surprised Al Davis hasn’t risen from the dead just to slap him silly.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      All the white people lining up to religiously bask in the verdict is disturbing.

      It’s like they think it partially absolves them of their original sin.

      I’ve got some news for them, it doesn’t mean a thing to the race hustlers. They’re still going to come for you and you just made it clear that you’re an easy target.

  23. Toxteth O'Grady

    I think the last president who would have refrained from comment on the trial was W.

    • Chafed

      Sounds right.

  24. Ownbestenemy

    We all come up with better crackpot theories than this:
    “CNN senior legal analyst Laura Coates suggests the boarding up of buildings and beefing up of security ahead of the verdict could be seen as proof local elected leaders and police received a heads up of what the verdict will be and it could be innocent. ”

    Its just we don’t get paid to be crazy.

    • Stillhunter

      There are exceptions but most analysts IMO are those that couldnā€™t hack it in whatever realm theyā€™re discussing. She is epically bad though.

    • hayeksplosives

      solid wood other than her shittiness.

      Dude, you can do better

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Women who look like that are a dime a dozen. Try going to a bank and hitting on a teller or loan agent and skip the blood drenched psychopaths.

    • Sean

      Related – I recently had an employee bring a return to work note from his weed doctor. That was a first.

      • westernsloper

        He was diagnosed with x which required him to depart work and get high? Having accomplished that, he then brought a return to work note?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Soma for the Masses, Mornin Sean

      • Sean

        Morning.

    • Gender Traitor

      Please don’t use the term “fix” in reference to elections. They won’t get that you mean “repair.” šŸ™

      Good morning, Sean, Yu, & ‘Sloper!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Howdy GT, hows things?

      • Gender Traitor

        Great, thanks! Well, except for the snow all over the ground…and my car. But I’m meeting SP – and (I hope) Tres and Annoyed Nomad – today, so I’m excited! (And I know from reading below that YOU’RE excited to meet someone!)

      • Sean

        ?

      • Rat on a train

        Isn’t repair a synonym of fortify?

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, U! How are you today?

      • UnCivilServant

        I threw off my sleep schedule, now I need to figure out how best to get back to normal.

      • Gender Traitor

        Yuk! I once heard someone suggest that, instead of going to bed earlier, the way to get back on schedule was to stay up a little later each day until you finally circumnavigate the clock and get back to the time you want to go to bed regularly.

        Yeah, it didn’t sound very practical to me, either.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, that doesn’t seem practical for someone with a day job.

        But anyway, I ended up with a fragmented schedule where an overlong afternoon nap leaves me awake around midnight and a too short early morning nap before work.

        I sent a literary email that is unrelated to sleep.

      • Gender Traitor

        Ooh! Ooh! Just now? Hasn’t landed in my Inbox yet.

      • UnCivilServant

        Yes, just before I made that comment.

      • Gender Traitor

        There it is! Thanks! I’ll look forward to reading it!

        Right now, I need to go clean up and get ready to leave for work. I’ll need to get a bunch of snow off my car. :-/

      • UnCivilServant

        Snow?! What’s a tropical Paradise like ohio doing with snow in mid-april?

  25. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Today on “Stupid Shit Scruffy’s Facederp Friends Say”

    Finally, Black Lives Matter in the United States of America!

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Let me guess…white person said it?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        White woman in her 60’s

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yeah, figures, whether or not you buy into the BLM stuff only a person detached from the reality of the day to day situation thinks this changes anything for the better. The black inner city community is still a mess unfortunately and the remedies being pushed are largely worse than the disease.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      OFFS! Its getting real old, we are doomed if they keep power,

    • Gender Traitor

      This is why I spend minimal time on FB anymore – just log in long enough to see if anyone’s dead.

      Good morning, Scruffy & Stinky.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Good morning to you too

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        *nods and grunts*
        (sorry, Iā€™m kind of surly in the early morning)

  26. Yusef drives a Kia

    2 days til I meet my dream girl, its quitexciting

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      So exciting I posted prematurely, ruh ro….

      • Tejicano

        As long as it’s only your posting that’s premature…

    • Gender Traitor

      I asked before, but didn’t get an answer – anyone we know? šŸ˜‰

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Not exactly,

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Let me guess, it has historical covenants on the structure.

      • rhywun

        Doesn’t look like it. In which case you’re just buying a chunk of land in a pretty nice location.

      • UnCivilServant

        Nice location? The city of San Fransisco is in the way.

      • Hyperion

        It’s a shithole.

      • rhywun

        It’s in the hills above Oakland. The resident will likely never see SF unless they work there or something.

    • TARDis

      A bit of sanity restored this AM. No more temperature checks coming in to work.

      Less than 50% of Rona Riders have no symptoms, including fever you say? We knew this a year ago….

      • TARDis

        We enjoyed a family of hate birds when we were on vacation. Mom & Dad with 5 chicks.

        They would zoom down the river. Then get out and walk back up river. Repeat.

      • Sean

        Asymptomatic super spreaders!!!11!!1!

        *runs around screaming*

      • Chipwooder

        Which brings to mind our trip to the local mall this past weekend. This is an outdoor mall, mind you, and besides ourselves I counted all of three people not strolling around in masks out of a couple hundred.

      • TARDis

        We went to the annual festival our town throws every year (except 2020). Only worker bee had masks. It was the largest crowd I’ve ever seen. Must be pent up demand, I guess. Plus,New Taphouse has opened.

  27. Tres Cool

    whaddup doh’ ?

    • Gender Traitor

      See you at lunch?? šŸ˜‰

      • TARDis

        I’m jealous. šŸ™

        Have fun!

  28. Hyperion

    Where’s the lanks? Don’t any of you work?

    • Chipwooder

      I’m working right now as a matter of fact. Had to get up early to finish the crap I didn’t get to yesterday.

    • Sean

      I’m at work.