IFLA: The “Artsy” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of April 25

by | Apr 25, 2021 | IFLA | 107 comments

It’s about time I started classing up these posts, so I’ll add some artwork by a lesser known arrr-teest who specializes in mixed media and electronically processed images.

Dog Ponders Ball (2021)

So what do the stars have to tell us this week?  Well, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.  Remeber how last week ended with a celestially auspicious itme to make a romantic (AND BY ROMANTIC, MEAN…) move?  Well, all the good feelings generated then will need to be maintained, as the week starts off with Mercury and Venus passing the Moon, indicating instability in your love life.  Those two planets play a continuing role throughout the week, indicating challenges of a more or less serious nature.  On Wednesday, the Moon and Mercury Line up with the Earth, indicating instability at home (possibly of a good kind), And on Friday, Mars moves into that alignment as Mercury drops out, indicating trouble at home (definitely NOT of a good kind).

A Rare Moment of Calm (2021)

In addition to the alignments describing problems, the locations of the planets back this up.  As far as general instability goes, the moon being in Libra is the biggest driver of tension or disequalibria you can get with just one visitation.  It would be worse if MERCURY RETROGRADE was also there, but if that was in the horoscope, I’d be too busy putting the finishing touches on the bunker to tell you about it.  Mars moving into Cancer this week lets us know that the problems appearing this week will be of a particularly nasty and spiteful sort.  However, Taurus with the goodies of the Sun, Mercury and Venus counsels patience.

Spring Snow Falls on Fluff (2021)

 

While there are a couple of terrible cards in this week’s draw, overall it’s a pretty good week.

Taurus: 4 of Coins -The surety of possessions, cleaving to that which one has, gift, legacy, inheritance

Gemini:  Page of Swords – Authority, overseeing, secret service, vigilance, spying, examination

Cancer:  6 of Coins -Presents, gifts, gratification, attention, vigilance

Leo: 6 of Swords – Journey by water, route, way, envoy, commissionary, expedient

Virgo:  Death reversed – Inertia, sleep, lethargy, petrifaction, somnambulism, hope destroyed.

Libra:  8 of Cups – Joy, mildness, timidity, honor, modesty, the decline of a matter, or that a matter which has been thought to be important is really of slight consequence

Scorpio:  King of Coins reversed – Vice, weakness, ugliness, perversity, corruption, peril.

Sagittarius: Page of Coins – Application, study, scholarship, reflection, news, messages and the bringer thereof, rule, management.

Capricorn:  10 of Cups reversed – Repose of the false heart, indignation, violence.

Aquarius: 9 of Cups – Concord, contentment, physical bien-être, victory, success, advantage, satisfaction

Pisces:  Knight of Wands – Departure, absence, flight, emigration. A dark young man, friendly. Change of residence.

Aries:  The Devil reversed – Evil, fatality, weakness, pettiness, blindness.

 

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

107 Comments

  1. UnCivilServant

    The puppy hasn’t eaten the impeccably dressed rat?

  2. Sean

    Adorable.

  3. Gender Traitor

    I’ll add some artwork by a lesser known arrr-teest who specializes in mixed media and electronically processed images.

    A cheap, tawdry, and thinly-veiled excuse to post adorable puppy pics. I approve.

    • Gender Traitor

      Do you do that so we could take some small degree of solace in them during the sucky week to come?

    • Chafed

      Seconded

    • Tonio

      ^This.

  4. Sean

    “Cancer: 6 of Coins -Presents, gifts, gratification, attention, vigilance”

    Sweet.

  5. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: Page of Coins – Application, study, scholarship, reflection, news, messages and the bringer thereof, rule, management.

    How much is that in rubles?

  6. EvilSheldon

    What an adorable puppy! I’m just melting into a big puddle of emo here…

    • UnCivilServant

      Looks like six hours ration.

    • egould310

      Those look delicious.

      I’m roasting a chicken this afternoon. I guess I need to make a marinade right now. Bourbon, maple syrup, smoked paprika, black pepper. That ought to do it.

      • egould310

        Locally grown meat? Hyperion is gonna’ accuse you of being a hipster. You probably drink over-hopped IPA.

      • UnCivilServant

        Who cares what that hipster thinks.

      • TARDis

        Scrapple is a “quality” meat?

      • DEG

        Scrapple is a “quality” meat?

        Scrapple is fucking delicious and Food of the Gods.

      • TARDis

        Ok, so I am misinformed; not unusual. Apparently what I ate, and subsequently projectile vomited when visiting Grammy in Williamsport was not made from the quality ingredients I see listed now. No one else puked, just me. Which is fine, since it looked like it had been eaten once already.

      • Nephilium

        /hides his hazy IPA from Fat Heads

      • Chafed

        Serious question about IPAs. I have tried a number of IPAs from different breweries. I have never cared for them. Meanwhile, they appear to rule the beer world. Is this just a matter of taste or is there some genetic component a la cilantro that makes IPA a turn off for me?

      • TARDis

        Some people just like fruity hops I guess. I was big on them them for a while, but now they’re more an occasional thing. I prefer a true English IPA actually.

      • Nephilium

        /deletes about an article worth of comments

        A lot of it comes down to the hop varieties used, and when they were added to the brewing process. To break it down, there are four different times for additions:

        1) Bittering – Hops that are boiled for 30-90 minutes will lose most flavor and aroma components, and just add bitterness to the beer (to balance out the sweetness from the unfermented sugars from the malt)
        2) Flavoring – Hops that are added with 10 minutes or less to the boil will add some flavoring components to the beer (as well as a bit of bitterness).
        3) Aroma – Hops added in the last couple minutes of the boil (or during the cooling process) are being added to impart aromas (and a touch of flavor).
        4) Dry Hopping – Hops added after the brewing process is complete, during fermentation (or after) are added for big aroma notes.

        IPA’s are one of the easier styles to make mediocre, and one of the hardest to make well. They’re also popular, and have a short turn around time for production, which makes them popular for small breweries to get their product to market.

        Not liking a style isn’t a problem, if you’ve had the best (Two Hearted – Bells, Blind Pig – Russian River, Stone IPA) and didn’t like them, I’d need more information as to what you didn’t like about them to make other recommendations. Meanwhile, I’m not a fan of Marzens, Pumpkin beers, ciders, or most dessert beers.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Supertaster?

      • DEG

        I don’t like many IPAs, but I really like Two Hearted Ale.

      • egould310

        Used the last of the rib rub I made up last month. Evan Williams, and maple syrup. The chicken is bathing comfortably in its marinade. I ‘ll riast it low and slow, and slather in bbq sauce at the end. Looks like we have some andouille, so i’ll roast and slather those too. Pimento cheese. Collard greens. Gonna need more bourbon.

      • Chafed

        Those are the weirdest euphemisms I have seen on this site.

    • DEG

      They include a pistol in the meat ration? Hmm…. it might not be that bad then.

      • Nephilium

        But no bullets. I’ve seen yet another headline saying: Gun regulations have failed, let’s try ammo regulation instead.

  7. Don Escaped Texas

    Scorpio: King of Coins reversed – Vice, weakness, ugliness, perversity, corruption, peril.

    “I know, I know: I need to get the KDH47 thing set up and turned on as soon as I can” – JRB46

  8. Sean

    When do the NFT auctions start for the pictures?

    ?

  9. DEG

    I like the puppy pictures.

    Journey by water, route, way, envoy, commissionary, expedient

    Huh. Not sure if this is sufficiently shitty or not.

  10. mikey

    Virgo: “…the decline of a matter, or that a matter which has been thought to be important is really of slight consequence.” Some heavy duty philosophy for a mere card reading. ’bout sums up a lot of life.

    Pretty windy here the last few days so I had to go out and pick up the detritus that came to a rest in our yard. Not just the usual tumbleweeds and empty Doritos sacks – now , I’m finding something new: face diapers. Does my lawn have the ‘vid?

    • Nephilium

      Is it over five foot high? Was it out after curfew? Did it socially gather (but not for a protest)?

      • Ted S.

        Not for the right kind of protest. Anti-mask protests are evil, but BLM protests are virtuous.

  11. Ted S.

    Dog Ponders Ball (2021)

    Followed by Dog Licks Balls.

  12. CPRM

    I’ll just say, MCU writers have totally lost track of what Vibranium does.

    • Ted S.

      It vibranes, doesn’t it?

      • Nephilium

        Nah. It does whatever the writer needs it to do, like most invented materials.

        I think the only one that writers have stayed consistent on is Adamantium. Even that is questionable, as it has been both able to be manipulated by Magneto and not.

  13. Nephilium

    Well shit. Got up, did some errands, picked up around the house, set up the bike stand, put the bike up in it, and see that I need to take it in for more work then I’m willing to do at home.

    At least I’ve got the road bike until the hybrid gets tuned up and fixed.

  14. Tulip

    She is adorable.

    Gemini horoscope sucks, as usual

    • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

      Gemini horoscope sucks, as usual

      Word.  ?

  15. Muzzled Woodchipper

    Virgo: Death reversed – Inertia, sleep, lethargy, petrifaction, somnambulism, hope destroyed.

    So an average week, then.

    • TARDis

      Yup.

      Just missing incontinence and erectile dysfunction.

  16. topnotchtoledo

    I’m close to smearing shit on the door handle of my neighbor (theoretically of course). He’s playing “Closing Time” I’ve made worse decisions in my life.

    • Nephilium

      How many speakers do you have in your house? Can you move them to be pointed at their house?

    • Ted S.

      You don’t know who you want to take you home?

    • CPRM

      What, you want him to play Get a Grip?

    • topnotchtoledo

      If he plays “American pie” again no jury would convict.

      • Chafed

        Shit, I would pin a medal on your chest.

      • Cy Esquire

        What kind of person hates on Don Mclean?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        His ex-wife?

      • egould310

        Leading scorer in Pac -12 bball. UCLA phenom, from Simi Valley. Decent NBA career. “The Snake Killer.” @wearitsnake

        He’s hilarious. Voice of the Clippers and Pac-12 analyst, too.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Wookiee dog! Havanese?

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        Approx. 50/50 Shih-Tzu/Bichon Frise; the “approx.” is because a Yorkshire Terrier was introduced into the bloodline about twelve generations back, specifically to get the fur colour.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Awwww anyway. Male or female?

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        She. Well, it, actually. But she’s my buddy.

    • Sean

      Dust bunny cleaning tool?

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        Only if we spray her with Endust first.  ;-)

  17. KromulentKristen

    Bubba Wallace is a cunte.

    • Ted S.

      Now what did he do?

      • KromulentKristen

        Brushed the TV Mike away when they were trying to interview him. Sponsors don’t like that.

      • Chafed

        Now the SJW sponsors can deal with pulling or not renewing their sponsorship. Good times.

    • KromulentKristen

      Joey Logano is a cunte

  18. grrizzly

    In the too local news.
    ‘We have never felt unsafe in our neighborhood until now’: Coyote chases woman with dog near Alewife Station

    Deanna Lydon was walking her 60-pound, 8-year-old pitbull about 9:30 p.m. Friday near an empty parking lot close to Alewife Station in Cambridge when, she said, a coyote snuck up behind her.

    “I had no clue it was there until my dog started to snarl,” Lydon recalled Saturday morning.

    She started to “make noise and act big” to try and scare it off — a tactic MassWildlife endorses — but the coyote, which was about the same size as her dog, she said, “kept coming at us.”

    Lydon’s next instinct was to run.

    “I fell down and it seemed to scare it away,” Lydon said, thinking she was in the clear. But as they approached the station, she turned around and there it was.

    “It locked us in and started sprinting at us, so I ran as fast as I could into the Alewife T station,” Lydon said. “I had to pry the gates up.”

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      but the coyote, which was about the same size as her dog, she said,

      She may have said it, but she’s fucking wrong.

      A massive coyote will weigh 45lbs. The largest ever killed was 75lbs. I highly doubt she saw a song dog that’s 20lbs larger than even very large coyotes.

      If her pit bull was worth even a single shit, he’d tear that coyote to pieces if it attacked them.

    • slumbrew

      Given the huge number of rabbits around here, I’ve been surprised we haven’t seen coyotes around here before.

      Alewife sees a lot of wildlife – I’ve seen deer in there.

      • Nephilium

        One of the west side suburbs has had coyotes move back in. There were several local news stories that were explaining to people how their “outdoor” puppies/cats/dogs disappeared.

      • Broswater

        Those guys are guilty of being successful in a competitive field and not acting like victims, so yeah, they’re white by association.

        I wonder when people will realize that by elimination, BLM and the progressive associate poverty, criminality, failure and being a loser in general with being a POC.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Cannot be completed as dialed.

      • TARDis

        We’re not worthy?

      • kinnath

        I had linked to a contributor page not the actual jpeg.

      • TARDis

        You people are killing me with pups.

        *must resist*

        We were driving by Petsmart, and the wife asked, “Want to go in?”

        WTF. She said no more pets until we move to wherever we retire to.

      • DEG

        Aww

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        ? ?

      • westernsloper

        Kinnath’s horoscope: Your sheep will be kept in a circle.

    • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

      Cute as buttons!

      Always liked “Lassie” dogs.

      • kinnath

        Shelties, not rough collies. But, yes, the same color scheme.

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        I’m not a connoisseur of dog breeds, but they’re still cuties.

      • kinnath

        Thanks.

        They are nearly full grown. Collies are twice as big.

        Rough collies and shelties were basically bred in parallel with some cross breeding early.

  19. TARDis

    Mrs. T reluctantly picked up some shrimp for me to char-grill. She did not eat any. She is boycotting seafood now because of this documentary.

    Anybody watch this? I figure there is plenty of truth along with a pile of whale shit.

    • topnotchtoledo

      Farmed shrimp are a nightmare. Just buy wild caught Gulf shrimp. Support Suthen’s neighbors

      • TARDis

        It was from Whole Foods… which probably means nothing.

      • topnotchtoledo

        Jeff Bezos is a known libertarian and supports everything freedom loving Americans support. Carry on

    • Cy Esquire

      That “Documentary” is a whole lotta bullshit. Sadly, Al Gore’s legacy will be cursing pop culture with any convenient lie the left can throw together on film.

      • rhywun

        George Monbiot, the environmentalist and Guardian columnist, who appears in it, described it on Twitter as “a brilliant exposé of the greatest threat to marine life: fishing”.

        But it has the Guardian stamp of approval.

      • TARDis

        Well hopefully everyone at the Guardian has stopped eating seafood too.

  20. slumbrew

    Since we’re doing dog pics:

    https://imgur.com/a/OFsPPJD

    Pretty sure she’s trying to control my mind with her devil eyes.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Aw.

      Are y’all trying to dissuade me from my bad mood with these dog pics or what?

      • slumbrew

        Can’t hurt

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Srlsy, I permanently hate everyone except you nice people.

    • DEG

      Aww

    • Chafed

      What a sweet face.

  21. westernsloper

    Gemini: Page of Swords – Authority, overseeing, secret service, vigilance, spying, examination

    Horse shit. I don’t do that anymore.

    Y’all are killing me with the puppy pics. Especially the impeccably dressed rat. Damn, I should have got one of those from your bro. She is adorable and I bet a terror to the house.

  22. Tonio

    Mars helicopter completes third flight, now with more horizontal travel action.

    • slumbrew

      Mine. Mine. Mine.