The Gwen pt.8 Elon

by | May 4, 2021 | Comic, Fiction, Technology | 252 comments

Starman

Elon

The 21st c is known as the age of the Titans, the great free marketeers that took us to the Moon,Mars, the Belt, and then the stars themselves, the Greatest of these was a Man named Elon Musk, he alone was able to overcome the entrenched bureaucracy that was Earth at the time, and eventually split Mars off from the Earth system. By mid century it was obvious he had the Weapon, and would use it, A small system nearby had come under his gaze, and since they didn’t want to trade, He made an example to others most notably Earth, for he tightbeamed the event for Human consumption, another system wiped from the Galaxy, just to make a point.

 Elon had a plan, from an early age, He was thinking about Neural networks, and Human/ Machine integration, his earliest attempts at human Starlink uploads were an abomination, the tortured, screaming souls, being de-orbited for their own good, were enough.

  Elon took his community, numbering 2 trillions of people, and they developed the Elon, a nice M sized star with many planets and resources, and then it was time for plan 2. A segment of his population were the Volunteers, clones, engineered with certain skill sets, personalities, anything really, KerryBot is one, (shakes off memories) Anyway, after a lot of R and D, Elon was uploading these persons into everything thing from a video screen to a starship, and it was finally foolproof, now it was time.

 Using a full copy of his mind, Elon uploaded himself into the very Star itself! And it worked.He was still Corporeal, yet was the Star simultaneously, and We still don’t know how he did it, he already had his local Dyson Swarm, still under construction, under his control, this was the next step. What it must feel like? To be an entire system, feel the rhythm of the lifeforms on your worlds, almost a God, almost….

 The local systems were not happy to say the least, after all, what would prevent him from taking over our stars? Who know the havoc he could wreak on the entire local group?  The obvious issue is the trade we do with his system, we are a highly connected group of stars, thanks to his tech, and kinda like it. So for now we deal with the Devil, he takes systems here and there, but tends to respect our independence from the thing that he has become, for now,

To be Continued

 

About The Author

Yusef drives a Kia

Yusef drives a Kia

Punctually illiterate But never late

252 Comments

  1. DEG

    Using a full copy of his mind, Elon uploaded himself into the very Star itself!

    Uh-oh.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      This episode is out of order, but I can make it work, Elon has a lot more in store!

    • limey

      What happens if he goes nova? Does anyone else remember the episode of EconTalk where Roberts interviews Freeman Dyson? Definitely one of the more unusual discussions.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Move? he’s got 4 Billion years to decide,

      • limey

        If he is uploaded to multiple celestial bodies, are they all synced up automatically?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Starlink did that in the early 21th c. and he just improved the design, so yep,

      • limey

        I see. Vewy intewesting. Since it’s an M sized star, is it now an M-Elon?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Musk, M-Elon.

      • pistoffnick

        ’round her we call that cantelope.

      • Fourscore

        Ain’t no honey, do.

      • Not Adahn

        M is a spectral type, not a size.

  2. limey

    You know who else tightbeamed something for human consumption?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      It’s a Cook book!

  3. limey

    I’m envisioning Elon’s face in the star like the baby in the sun on Teletubbies.

      • rhywun

        buh

      • Bobarian LMD
      • limey

        I had no idea the Teletubbies were a Herbertverse spinoff.

      • Count Potato

        Remember when people were upset one of the teletubbies was supposedly gay?

      • rhywun

        Vaguely. Teletubbies was after my time & therefore I preferred to remain blissfully unaware of anything surrounding them.

      • Count Potato

        I just remember socons said he was gay because he carried a purse, and the whole thing was completely retarded.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Something about the symbol on the purple one’s head?

      • limey

        I don’t remember anyone being upset about it, but I recall the big purple one carried a purse and was supposedly male. Apparently he was a heroin addict, and he died a couple of years ago. It was generally an absolutely terrible show that was so completely retarded that anything adults projected on it was their own baggage because it was so unrelentingly stupid that it could not possibly have been so nuanced as to get anywhere near developing any of the characters identities beyond “has a bag” or “wears a hat”.

      • Count Potato

        “But Falwell saw something off about Tinky Winky, the largest pal in Teletubbyland. “He is purple—the gay pride color, and his antenna is shaped like a triangle—the gay pride symbol,” Falwell wrote in an issue of his own magazine. The character had a boy’s voice, he continued, but he often carried a red purse—ahem. The article was titled “Parents Alert: Tinky Winky Comes Out of the Closet.” Falwell doubled down in an appearance on the Today show. To have “little boys running around with purses and acting effeminate and leaving the idea that the masculine male, the feminine female is out, and gay is OK” is something “Christians do not agree with,” he told Katie Couric.

        The accusation blew up immediately, a perfect artifact of neo-Puritan insanity landing just as President Clinton was being acquitted of impeachment charges by the Senate. “If you thought the sex police were at their most vindictive in the Clinton-Lewinsky affair, you haven’t heard about the Rev. Jerry Falwell’s attack on Tinky Winky,” one typical editorial began. The show’s American distributor, Itsy Bitsy Entertainment, held an emergency press conference in New York to declare that the Teletubbies’ rolling hills were an G-rated safe space. “It is the sweetest, most innocent place a child can go,” a spokesman told the assembled reporters. “There is simply nothing sexual in our show.” The Teletubbies didn’t even have genitals. How could they be gay?”

        https://slate.com/technology/2017/12/jerry-falwell-and-tinky-winky-the-gay-teletubby.html

        Well, as long as he had a mouth he could still suck dick?

      • blackjack

        It would have to be interspecial. The other ‘Tubbies were unhung. They had no uglies to bump.

      • rhywun

        I’m willing to entertain the notion that he was totally gay whether they intended for kids to “get it” or not.

      • blackjack

        What’s amazing is that anyone could watch that show long enough to make the determination.

      • limey

        Drugs? Butt sex? Tell me one of the other ‘tubbies was a Mexican and you’ve got a Reasontarian icon.

  4. juris imprudent

    Dragging this over from the dead thread…

    zwak: What is quite clear is that nothing that Trump could have done, good or bad, was OK with you.

    Not true at all. The people he nominated to judicial positions were on average much better than average and certainly better than the previous administration and I have stated that more than once. I just don’t think that was Trump’s personal doing – he outsourced that to someone with a brain and the ability to think beyond the next tweet. But kudos for not fucking it up (as W certainly did).

    If anything, I am disappointed that he did not do what he talked about doing in terms of withdrawing US forces from every corner of the world. Had he actually done that – I would’ve sung the man’s praises, and overdubbed the fucking harmony. He didn’t do that of course because he’s not anything he pretends to be. And I am [quite unapologetically] sick to fucking death of people taken in by his shtick. The last two elections have been spectacularly shitty choices and in ’16 I voted for Johnson, not Trump or HRC. In ’20, I voted for Trump – but I was not happy to do so. Trump DID NOT prove shit about the ’20 election being rigged, and all of the bold talk about discovery in litigation had all the weight of a wet fart. What proof of election irregularites there were came not from Trump but from Time. Trump was just his usual verbal diarrhea.

    If Trump is your [anyone’s] idea of a way forward politically, you must want to get to political hell even faster than the progressives do. And that is why I reject the notion of that being our best hope. If that’s the best we’re going to do, then go find something else to do until the curtain falls because the show is fucking over.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Maybe if the Election was legit, he would have gooten out of endless wars, etc. now stick to the story…

      • juris imprudent

        My apologies Yusef.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        No worries Mon!
        Read the stuff below to get why I did the Elon episode

    • slumbrew

      I’ve not read your whole back and forth, but I still go with “least worst choice”.

    • Count Potato

      “I am disappointed that he did not do what he talked about doing in terms of withdrawing US forces from every corner of the world. Had he actually done that – I would’ve sung the man’s praises, and overdubbed the fucking harmony. He didn’t do that of course because he’s not anything he pretends to be.”

      I think he tried, and that’s one of the main reason’s the deep state was so against him.

      • blackjack

        My main complaint was that he buys the best steaks in the world, and then cooks them well done and puts ketchup on them. Almost a deal breaker.

      • pistoffnick

        I don’t like pink steaks.

        There, I said it.

        Medium or better.

        Me, I like medium -well.

      • Mojeaux

        That is a metaphor for the man’s entire presidency.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        This guy gets it.

    • limey

      A wet osmium fart within the gravity well of a hypermassive Elon hole?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        He just bought one, cheap, Fucking Stupid Vogons….

      • limey

        I tried to buy online but my ID was rejected.

    • blackjack

      I voted for the cake Nazi also and his Hillary loving friend. The second time I enthusiastically voted for the Cheeto Jesus. What he did do, he did with the highest powers that be in Washington aligned against him and blatantly trying to literally ruin his life.

      • juris imprudent

        My take is he could’ve done better if he wasn’t his own worst enemy. A really smarter guy, one that really believed in what he was doing, would have figured out how to work the system enough to get done what he wanted. Trump didn’t really care, as long as he got the applause. The man is nothing but an attention whore.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I must admit, while Laughing my ass off, you are Correct, he could have done a lot more,

      • Count Potato

        A really smarter guy who didn’t want the applause never would have run.

      • blackjack

        That brings up one of my pet peeves. Everyone says, ” I like him except for his tweets. Why can’t he just keep it shut. Such a bad look!”

        Bullshit! The republicans have been nicey-nice for decades. It gets them nothing. The left is terrible and evil and I am glad to have seen a president who was willing to tell them that. Pretty sure he won because he said what so many have always thought. Not always perfect, but way better than the Romney/Mccain type. Fuck those guys and EVERYTHING they have ever done.

      • juris imprudent

        That is a great point. The whole edifice of the presidency is a monument to ego. Maybe that is an irremediable structural defect.

      • blackjack

        No, it’s the reason we were supposed to keep all of our limits on the power of that office. Oh and the other limits on the power of the other branches too. We didn’t and here we are.

      • blackjack

        Put another way, we should be able to install a fucking simpleton and not have to worry about anything he does, because he’s so limited.

      • kbolino

        I think you may be seeing the realization of this dream already. A simpleton has been installed, and we don’t need to worry about anything he does. The people who tell him what to sign, on the other hand, don’t run for election and aren’t constrained by any document.

      • blackjack

        It’s a two part dream. Half is a nightmare.

      • rhywun

        I think we’re way past the point where such a person exists. Xe would need to command the support of a vast, generation-spanning bureaucracy that shares xis goals rather than diametrically opposes them.

    • zwak

      Well, as we all watched, Trump was denied any chance in court to prove that the election was stolen. Standing being the reason given. Time and time again every court denied him the ability to prove his case, and, as you admit, even TIME made it clear. Hell, even Breitbart made it clear: https://www.breitbart.com/2020-election/2021/03/16/mi-court-michigan-secretary-of-states-absentee-ballot-order-broke-law-vindicating-trump-claim/ But because it wasn’t Trump directly, it was verbal diarrhea? He made a claim, and it was proven correct. But he didn’t do it the way you wanted it, so he’s a huckster?

      And, again, you don’t show why he isn’t a way forward. Unless you count that verbal diarrhea thing, which we have already found to be wrong. And while I agree with you that a full pull out of various military operations would be great, but he was lied to about it: https://dailycaller.com/2020/11/13/senior-administration-officials-lied-to-trump-about-troop-levels-so-he-wouldnt-pull-out-of-syria/ (and I do think that was direct treason, and any general involved should be shot.) As I said, the bureaucracy pulled out all the stops to keep him down, so, no, I don’t blame him for that.

      You don’t show any real reason why you don’t like him as a politician, except a previously voiced dislike of populism, and most importantly, you don’t show any other way that can actually work. If a political party can’t rally the people, what good is it?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Easy buddy, lot’s of Blue there,

      • juris imprudent

        why he isn’t a way forward

        Simple, he’s a fraud. We need better than that. We need someone that can see some of the things he clearly saw – but can actually DO something about that. Someone that when he says the right thing, understands WHY it is the right thing. Trump never did, and if you think he did, you aren’t a sheep, you are a trained seal. All he has to do is throw you a fish and you clap and bark.

        And I agree – the people that lied to him, should have been summarily removed from their position of responsibility. But you have to have the attention span of something more than a gnat to do that. Again, not something he was CAPABLE of.

        The man was willing to spend money every bit as lavishly as any Democrat. How can that not be a reason for you to dislike him?

        I don’t want a politician to entertain me; that was his most notable talent.

      • limey

        So who is this magical person who will just part the deep state like the Red Sea and guide your people to freedom?

        I don’t think they’ll just move aside for someone who is deeply rooted in first principles, polite, and refrains from roasting their most egregious confederates in the crudest terms. At least Trump kicked up a fuss.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Dude, we Did go to the Moon, and you Lost an Empire, you wanna go there?

      • blackjack

        Didn’t do a fucking thing for Andy Kaufman though, did we?

      • limey

        ???

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Drunk American, pay no attention…

      • juris imprudent

        Who the fuck are my people?

        But you see, that’s the problem – people want the magic.

        Trump kicked up a fuss?

        … a poor player
        That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
        And then is heard no more. It is a tale
        Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury
        Signifying nothing.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Well Quoted, Huzzah!

      • limey

        So again, tell me how someone principled, sober, and judicious would be any more successful than Trump at going up against the constant subterfuge and attacks of the establishment, after watching over four years of what happened to Trump?

        Do you think he only met that opposition because he was a Twitter asshole and an attention whore?

      • blackjack

        This is probably the greatest thing he did. There ain’t nobody in America now that still thinks any of this is legitimate. He got them to drop their masks. Now, if you support the blue team it’s despite the evil they do and only because you want what they want to happen by any means. The news is lying, the alphabets are lying, the generals are lying and big tech is lying. It’s just that one team is clearly not above that.

      • kbolino

        There are a handful of men (and some women) who could step up to fill those shoes. None of them are going to. Some may shine in other endeavors, but most will flounder, their talents unused. A genuine crisis might bring them out, but crises are governed by the god of random numbers, so one should never wish for one. The last one to sit in the President’s chair was no later than FDR. None since, not Truman who was undone for being a hick, not Eisenhower who was the first modern swamp creature, not JFK who got shot, not LBJ who was undone by the war he started, nor Nixon undone by Watergate, nor Ford tainted by association, nor Carter undone by his sheepishness, nor Reagan who came the closest, nor the Bushes who were swampier than Eisenhower, nor Clinton who’d rather bang the interns, nor Obama and Biden, the great rubber stamps. None from without can tame the beast, and none from within are going to.

      • zwak

        You keep saying words to the effect that he was a fraud, a huckster, that you don’t want to entertained, etc. But you don’t put anything up that is currently possible. To get anywhere in the current political system, you have to gain people’s attention, first and foremost. Anything else is bullshit. Nor do you put up any proof that he was any of those things you claim. But we do know that he didn’t start out as a politician, he was an entertainer for a while along with being a businessman, that he spoke some level of truth to a huge number of people, and that for the entire presidency there was a full-frontal attack against him. And that most of the things he said actually had a ring of truth to them. Not all, but a higher level than most politicians.

        Limey puts it quite eloquently: who is this magical person who will just part the deep state like the Red Sea. Deflecting that with claims that people want magic more than solutions belays the claims. To start a movement, you have to inspire the people. And anything else is bullshit. Saying you want Marquis of Queensbury rules when you are in an MMA octagon, and then bitch because the fans are booing you is the height of hubris.

      • Gustave Lytton

        My wife, who absolutely detests Trump’s persona and actions, still feels he was one of the few or only president who seemed to give a shit about ordinary Americans like her and understood what it is like to be the little guy against more powerful forces.

        That his background is acting a part helped and he seemed to know what the role of a president should look like to many people: unabashedly pro-America. Almost all other politicians today have no interest or even any competence at being Caesar’s Wife. They barely hide their outright contempt for the public and this country.

      • Tulip

        I think that was his appeal. He came across as unapologetically pro-american. His rhetoric was that the people are great, but government is getting in the way. Other politicians come across as the government is great, but you people need to get out of the way.

      • Count Potato

        That’s why that meme was banned.

      • The Hyperbole

        Unless Government needed to take your shit without convicting you of a crime, or take your house if some developer had a better use for it, or deciding which product can be imported and at what cost, or banning bump stocks, or spending more money than the government has ever spent before. Other than that he was against Big Government! I mean he hugged a flag, he loves us! he really, really loves us!!

      • Tulip

        That’s why I say came across, I have no idea what he thinks.

      • The Hyperbole

        Even Breitbart? you don’t say.

      • limey

        You know, most of us are capable of reading the conservative press while being cognizant of the bias and blindspots therein and not being brainwashed into abandoning our first principles, not that you or juris would necessarily ever credit us with such independence of thought.

      • The Hyperbole

        If you can’t see the humour in saying “Even” Breitbart reports something positive about Trump than I don’t know how to explain it. But I’ll give it the old college try – It’s like saying “Even” CNN agrees that Obama was a great president, of course CNN would say that, and of course Breitbart is going to go to bat for Trump. I’m not making a claim on the legitimacy of the story I’m just amused by ZWAK’s phrasing.

      • limey

        Oh, Hyperbole.

      • The Hyperbole

        Look, I put the stupid ‘U’ in humor to try and make you feel welcome, I’m reaching out here. If you want to be pugnacious that’s not my problem.

      • limey

        Truculent, ornery, and mean, but not quite pugnacious.

        Thank you for indulging in unnecessarily u-indulgent British spelling.

        ??

      • zwak

        I don’t care what they say about you, Hype, you’re OK.

      • blackjack

        It can’t really be argued that the 2020 election was won in good faith. Even if we jettison all the blatant signs of cheating, the fact remains that the dems changed the rules to ensure victory. Illegally. It can’t be denied. Absent those changes, The guy who never left his basement and was roundly denounced by everyone would never have won. It’s plain as day. A parking lot full of ten cars honking doesn’t in any way show support for a total loser who, so far, has wrecked everything he’s touched.

      • kbolino

        I quibble only on calling it all illegal. They’ve made it legal. There was much legal wrangling right before the election that went almost completely ignored by the media, even right-wing media, until after the election. If the GOP wanted to win this last election, they sure as shit didn’t even begin to bother to try.

      • blackjack

        The GOP has never really bothered to do anything but bitch and moan about how mean the dems are. This was illegal because the constitution clearly states that the state legislature is solely tasked with creating election rules. Nobody else. Fucking judge asshole from court so and so can’t just say, ” sure, you guys can tweak everything, go ahead!” It’s only by redefining illegal that we can call this legal.

      • kbolino

        Straight from the horse’s mouth, the unholiest of unholies, the Brennan Center (emphasis mine):

        Overall, 29 states and the District of Columbia enacted 79 different bills to expand voting access in 2020. The majority of these bills expanded eligibility for and access to mail voting, while others addressed issues such as early voting, voter registration, polling place standards, and disability and language access. Even during a global pandemic, however, six states enacted laws that restrict voting access.

        It wasn’t (just) the courts.

      • blackjack

        Alright, lets narrow it down to swing states. You know, like PA, AZ, MI, GA, et cetera. What happened in those places?

      • kbolino

        Well, if you trust the Brennan Center on these things, none of those states are included. I think that’s bullshit because both PA and AZ changed their laws in 2019 instead of 2020. Google searches (which you do have to filter heavily to get through the noise) show changes in all 4 states’ procedures in 2020, though they were mostly done administratively rather than through legislation or the courts.

      • blackjack

        Man, i live in CA, where all this hocus pocus bullshit was pioneered. There were multiple battles to try and stop this shit, but the magic ‘vid made it all work. The magic fucking ‘vid made all of this winning possible for the blue team.

      • blackjack

        AND, all of these changes were championed by team blue. All of them.

      • kbolino

        Oh, you’ll get no argument from me. Like I said, the only quibble was over calling it “illegal”. The law is whatever they say it is anymore (and arguably, that’s all it ever was).

    • Don Escaped Texas

      no objections

      The problem is that almost no one has primary principles by which they choose their man . . . who then answers by managing per those principles . . . who is subsequently re-elected.
      Without principle, all we have left is identity politics: various spin, rationalization, whataboutisms, situational ethics, unending hypocrisy. . . . pick your flavor. I didn’t enjoy a piece of garbage being elected president before; now, I am not relieved to see him replaced with a different flavor of garbage.

      I will vote for a Republican if they nominate a principled man, but I won’t hop on the bandwagon of conservatarians who pretend Mr Trump is something I know he is not. I will not forgive Pence, Graham, Mulvaney, or Ryan, all very, very smart and experienced men, for abandoning their personal and economic standards to play the court fool and ratify the underclass notion that Mr Trump is the right man for the job and a model for future presidents.

    • pistoffnick

      Look, you are not going to effect ANY change by voting for different candidates. The system is rigged. It is totally rigged against you. You are the loser. Stop participating. Stop acquiescing. Stop caring.

      Live your life as you see fit. Fuck all the rest.

      • pistoffnick

        I love you, Hyperbole, In a heterosexual way-of course!

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Thissssss.

        Voting is yet another “chump behavior” from that chump effect article. They won’t let you vote for a good candidate. If, by a miracle, a halfway decent candidate comes through, they’ll pillory the fool. If the candidate retains their support, they’ll throw the election.

        You can do all the right things and you’ll still get pantsed and have your lunch money stolen.

      • pistoffnick

        Grow your own food, brew your own beer, distill your own vodka, grow your own mushrooms, reload your own rifle or pistol rounds. Trade with who you like.

        The change begins with “you”.

        Ain’t no politician gonna make it happen.

        YOU MAKE IT HAPPEN!

      • pistoffnick

        Yet, here I am, reloading .308., 9mm, .22, and 12 gauge.
        You are not going to public policy by voting.
        I am going to change public policy by not giving a Fuck what the politicians do.

      • The Hyperbole

        I’m not sure if I’m reading your responses right and I know I can be a sarcastic prick, but if you think I’m fuckin with you I am most assuredly not, I agree with everything you are saying, the rock on emoji and ‘preach it brother’ were posted with complete sincerity. Arguing politics is fun but it isn’t going to solve anything, the best one can do is live one’s life as if you are free and to hell with anyone who tries to tell you otherwise.

  5. Yusef drives a Kia

    Here is the Episode that comes before this one, it provides a context,
    Vogons, Really Yusef?

    I am a Time traveler of some note, born in the great 23rd, August 25th,2463 to be exact,But we were born in a world of free time travel, anything goes, as long as you didn’ mess with the Timeline, easy enough, or so we thought. Hitler? Stalin? Even Pol Pot, that was us fucking with the Timeline, Oops.
    We made Laws, and penalties, but the Cat was in the Shroedrring, a is it were. I personally went forward at first, and found the Vogons, they are real, and nasty, as I may have said before, But in their idiocy, their plans were easy to see, and Countered by the Alliance and we blew there Home System out of the Sky, it was Glorious!, not often do we use the Weapon, only under Existential threat, this was one,,
    Mr Adams was a great Writer, a 24th Century Legend, his best work being 42, A Tome for Time, an all Time Bestseller, as it were, like myself, he was aware of the Vogon’s plans, and Brought a towel, and wrote a Book, the Sacred Guide, “That which we are Blessed… and 42, Amen”
    Amen
    I first went back to the 21st to find the guy who killed my Father, turns out it was a guy named Cancer, Yikes,
    Then My Mom, oh nevermind, I forget how fragile we were then, I thought about slipping Elon some fusion stuff and settled for telling him about the Vogons, no one would believe him,and the Timeline is secure, or so I thought…
    Turns out Elon knows more than one of us, and he’s getting to Mars far faster than the Timelines Suggests, not good, but we can’t stop it now. The Vogons are relentless, the Earth needs to know,
    To be continued,

    • blackjack

      So the Vogons sell all of the meth out in the desert?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I believe so, it’s how they roll….

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Comment #5 helps explain a lot,

      • limey

        No, they only cook it out in the desert. They sell it in Albuquerque.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Teleporters FTW!

      • limey

        “I’m the one who beams.”

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Beaming is cool but sometimes not all of you gets there, I go with FTL, more reliable..

      • limey

        Good point. It’s always a good idea to keep a backup of your image from the pattern buffers.

      • Bobarian LMD

        As long as we don’t have to hear any of their poetry.

    • Chafed

      I had no idea that group existed.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      4, OMG and 12

    • DEG

      No face diapers. Good.

    • kinnath

      28

    • Count Potato

      What is #12 going to do with that eggplant?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Rule 34?

  6. juris imprudent

    Elon understands time isn’t linear.

    • limey

      It’s a flat circle?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        It’s defined by the nearest Gravity well , otherwise, do your own thing,

      • juris imprudent

        You’d have to ask Elon; he understands.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I did, he does, hence the Episode

  7. hayeksplosives

    Bravo, Yusef!

    I like where this is heading…

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Planet Nickola,

  8. Count Potato

    Any movie suggestions? My eyes can’t read no more.

    • The Hyperbole

      Johnny Cool is on prime.

      • Count Potato

        OK, thanks, it has the chick from Bewitched in her underwear, but maybe something a bit more recent?

      • The Hyperbole

        I watched Gemini Man a few weeks ago, Unless you have some visceral hatred of Will Smith’s ‘I’m really corny but also a bad ass’ schtick it was alright. Sure it ‘s a dumb, fun, predictable action flick, but there was nothing objectionable about it…Maybe the motorcycle chase/fight scene, I guess that was a bit much.

      • Count Potato

        Huh, no idea that existed.

    • Count Potato

      No one?

      Worst chatroom ever!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        What? I ditched work to play golf and hang out with you Miscreants! Sup Dude!

      • The Hyperbole

        I was serious Johnny Cool is a great movie, It has it all…Elizabeth Montgomery as a sexy dame not an attractive but ‘meh’ suburban house wife, Sammy Davis, Mr Magoo, That one fat fuck with the gangster look that’s in a lot of old movies, and Telly Savalas for fuck sake.

      • Count Potato

        OK, I’ll keep it in mind.

    • pistoffnick

      “Sacred Cow” on Amazon (as posted by Tundra) is worth your time.

      I say this as a former cowhand.

    • kbolino

      I’ve been watching gay movies on Amazon, Top Gear, anime, and Invincible.

      I got nothing unless you like watching two dudes dating.

      • Bobarian LMD

        I read that as Top Gear Gun, which is the gayest movie.

      • kbolino

        If I were wittier I would have left off “two” and then it could’ve been up in the air which of those involved dudes making out.

      • Count Potato

        My Beautiful Laundrette, The Birdcage, and Brokeback Mountain, watched simultaneously while having sex with another man, is less gay than Top Gun.

      • blackjack

        Not cool with riding into the danger zone?

      • slumbrew

        Lana…

      • Chafed

        What movie is that from?

      • slumbrew

        Sleep With Me, which I’ve never actually seen.

        The cast is a murder’s row of early 90’s actors.

    • slumbrew

      I just watched The Gentlemen – solid Guy Ritchie flick.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Solid is a good description. I enjoyed but not as much as a lot of his other stuff.

        But I mostly loved his other stuff.

      • slumbrew

        Agreed, not my favorite but still enjoyable. I’ll watch it again at some drunken moment.

        I thought Hugh Grant killed it.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Yep, Hugh and the guy from SoA were the two characters that were proper Guy Ritchie characters.

    • Tulip

      How about a documentary? Rapid Response on Prime is about the development of safety teams in racing.

      • l0b0t

        I just watched Revenge Of The Nerds, with the commentary track. It was fantastic; so much cool backstory.

      • l0b0t

        If anyone wants it – NERDS!!!!

    • zwak

      The Wild Bunch.

  9. Yusef drives a Kia

    It seems the Vogons have found me in this Timeline, i need to stay low and let the idiot show themselves, they always do, if you know the signs, the stanch obviously, and the poor skinjobs,

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I need to call Elon, now, I need a place to hide,

    • hayeksplosives

      I always thought it was the slightly awkward questions and answers that were almost appropriate but just a bit…off.

      Uncanny Valley territory.

      • rhywun

        *backs slowly out of chatroom*

      • hayeksplosives

        Tsk tsk.

        Never neglect your HUMINT when planning a mission.

      • hayeksplosives

        Oh, man. That’s a great scene.t

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        You’re in the desert, “why I come to be in the desert?”

      • rhywun

        I love the lo-fi tech, the bellows LOL.

        Hell, I love that movie, period.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        You have met them! the Fuckers are sooo Stupid, the worst intelligence department in the known Galaxy, real dumb fucks!

    • hayeksplosives

      Oh man. You had me going with your link text.
      Not what I was expecting.

      • hayeksplosives

        Why am I saying “Oh man” so much today?

        Dude, where’s my car?

        Where is Judge Napolitano?

      • blackjack

        Who knows?

    • Ownbestenemy

      That…that reads like Trump

    • blackjack

      You know who else was into weird ass sex shit?

      • slumbrew

        My answer depends on where the hyphen is supposed to go in that sentence.

      • slumbrew

        That answer doesn’t clarify my question re: hyphen placement.

      • R C Dean

        Weird-ass? OK

        Ass-sex? Sure

        Sex-shit? I dunno about that.

      • slumbrew

        Germans, man.

      • slumbrew

        also, what qualifies as “weird ass-sex shit”? The baseline is pretty outré (I may just be an old soul).

    • creech

      As I recounted recently, I knew a woman whose mother was friends with Eva Braun. Doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, but there were no peeing stories.
      Just that “Wolf” only liked occasional BJs and came very quickly. Oh, and Eva was cautioned not to play with his testicles – something about a WWI injury to his stones.

  10. Yusef drives a Kia

    Now Elon, He has plans, he is actually grabbing systems to surround the Local group, Why? we shall see,

  11. Yusef drives a Kia

    Time for bed, see you on the other Side, Feel free to Gambol my friends!

    • limey

      Good read ?

      • hayeksplosives

        “ Older character ideals, such as courage, have been marginalised.”

        Would those older character ideals be the ones typically associated with toxic masculinity by any chance?

    • hayeksplosives

      The British people have been subjected to an unevaluated psychological experiment without being told that is what’s happening’.

  12. limey

    Happy Star Trek day, nerds!!!!!

    Make it so! The force is with you!

    *Chewbacca noise and Vulcan hand thing*

    *Digitally composites early 00s CGI characters into scenes from Star Trek III Part 2: The Search for Barbarella, Queen of the Federation*

    He who controls the Spice controls the Force!

    Who would win in a fight between Edward James Olmos and Mark Hamill? Yeah, that’s right; WILLIAM SHATNER.

    VIVA LA SKRULL EMPIRE AND STAY SHINY!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        BSG has a hard on,

      • Bobarian LMD

        I’m re-watching Farscape on Prime.

        Which is almost The Expanse good.

      • Chafed

        A great show killed before its time.

      • Not Adahn

        ^Truth

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Danny Trejo would kick all there asses, and still have time for Lindsey Lohan!

      • blackjack

        I knew him before he was a movie star.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Folsom?

      • Chafed

        I was hoping for naked Tasha Yar/Jeri Ryan/the Vulcan chick on Discovery

      • Chafed

        Thank you Q, Jr.

    • hayeksplosives

      “ The British people have been subjected to an unevaluated psychological experiment without being told that is what’s happening’.”

      Wankers.

    • hayeksplosives

      Oops . Wrong comment.

      • KSuellington

        There really is stiff competition in the craptastic Governor category.

  13. straffinrun

    I wanna reach escape velocity, too.

  14. straffinrun

    Today’s lunchtime sketch. Freehand so some wobbly lines.

    https://ibb.co/TwxMRht

    • slumbrew

      Really impressive, Straff, especially the base of the stem.

      • straffinrun

        Thx. I’d love to actually spend a couple hours and go slowly. 45 minutes should be enough if I can get the technique right, but not there yet.

    • Chafed

      That kind of good advice will get him canceled.

  15. Yusef drives a Kia

    Hello Glibbies, hope you liked Elon, He likes you!

  16. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam ?
    whats goody yo ?

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Tres, Yu, and 4(20)!

      Tres, our little ol’ township keeps making the news for all the wrong reasons. 🙁 Of course, that’s nothing new. It’s just usually closer to Crack Central and further from us.

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning, U! How are you today?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Somnabuglibbing?

      • Gender Traitor

        Smart move. Being awake is overrated.

        People talk about having out-of-body experiences. I’m not even keen on having an out-of-bed experience.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Is it safe to visit? We have no crime here, I forgot what graffiti looks like and eveyone speaks American
        / culture shock

      • Gender Traitor

        Oh, sure. You may just want to avoid hanging around at gas stations late at night. The latest was a shooting at a station a couple of miles down the road from me.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Prolly next month Ill get with you 2 and plan something

      • Gender Traitor

        That would be great! I hold out the faint hope that MAYBE OH will go mask-free before too long.

      • UnCivilServant

        When Ohio drops the mask nonsense I want to stop in.

        For some reason I also want to bake mac and cheese.

      • Gender Traitor

        What a coincidence! I, too, would like for you to come to Ohio and bake mac and cheese! 😛

      • Tres Cool

        Look on the brightside- its almost tornado season!

        How YOU doin’, cutie-patootie

      • Gender Traitor

        Good, thanks! The trickiest of my month-end reports at work are done, and my CPU finally gets its new fan this morning (assuming the part was delivered.) Butts & Guts class at the Y left my back a bit sore last night, but it’s better now.

        You just reminded me – we need to acquire a second cat carrier in case we ever need to bug out to the basement again. If the house comes down, TT & I will be smooshed, but at least the kitties may stand a chance.

        How ’boutchoo?

      • Tres Cool

        All good in the hood. I rubbed a brisket before I went to work last night- its about time to put it in

      • Gender Traitor

        Also, in light of the latest little township incident, I suppose it’s just as well our police renewal levy passed. (No thanks to me – I went to the Y instead of to the polls.) Margin was 3 to 1. Probably actual number of votes. (I haven’t yet seen the raw totals.)

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Covfefe in the Air!
      Sup mang!

      • Tres Cool

        HEY YUFUS !

        Tall mother-fkin’ CANS !

  17. Scruffy Nerfherder

    This should scare the living shit out of everyone.

    https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg24732960-100-we-now-have-the-technology-to-develop-vaccines-that-spread-themselves/

    See page 45 of this publication

    https://www.medicdebate.org/files/johns-hopkins.pdf

    While self-spreading vaccines
    could help reduce illness and death
    in a severe pandemic, this approach
    comes with several big challenges.
    One important component of the
    current vaccination approach for
    humans is the informed consent
    process. In order to receive a
    vaccine, individuals (or their legal
    guardians) must be informed about
    the risks of vaccination by a
    healthcare provider and provide
    their consent before being
    vaccinated. Those who decline are
    not forced to receive a vaccine. In
    the case of self-spreading vaccines,
    the individuals directly vaccinated
    would have this option, but those
    47
    to whom the vaccine subsequently
    spreads would not. Additionally,
    self-spreading vaccines would
    potentially infect individuals with
    contraindications, such as allergies,
    that could be life-threatening. The
    ethical and regulatory challenges
    surrounding informed consent and
    prevention and monitoring of
    adverse events would be critical
    challenges to implementing this
    approach even in an extreme event.
    Finally, there is a not
    insignificant risk of the vaccine
    virus reverting to wild-type
    virulence, as has sometimes
    occurred with the oral polio
    vaccine—which is not intended to
    be fully virulent or transmissible,
    but which has reverted to become
    both neurovirulent and
    transmissible in rare instances.
    This is both a medical risk and a
    public perception risk; the
    possibility of vaccine-induced
    disease would be a major concern
    to the public. Modeling efforts
    suggest that making self-spreading
    vaccines weakly transmissible
    might reduce the risk of reversion
    to wild-type virulence by limiting
    the number of opportunities for the
    virus to evolve. However, weakly
    transmissible vaccines would have
    to be introduced to more people to
    obtain sufficient immunity in the
    target population.

    • Gender Traitor

      Yikes. ::strongly considers returning to bed and pulling covers over head::

      Good (?) morning, Scruffy. Thanks for this information…I guess. 🙁

      Time to get ready to go to work and take everyone’s temp again.

      • Tres Cool

        Know the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer ?

        The taste.

      • Festus

        I hear tell that it’s all about the mouth feel… Now that’s a term I hate, just like every noun that gets verbed.

      • UnCivilServant

        I despise the term “mouth feel”.

        Are you talking about texture? We already have a word for that.

      • Festus

        Your lack of man-bun is showing.

      • Sean

        Time to get ready to go to work and take everyone’s temp again.

        I passed off that responsibility many months ago.

      • Festus

        Lots of work drama yesterday. Tits are calmer now, maybe even pacific. They took my OT and my privileges but they’ll never take my freedom! Eeeeyargghh! No time to read the chapter yet Bob. Sorry ? plus I’m posting from the phone because our cursed router died on Monday.

    • Tejicano

      “First, do no harm”

      Yeah, right.

    • Tundra

      However, there is still much work to do. Lab and field trials need to check how effective this approach is and look for possible unexpected consequences of
      self-disseminating vaccines. But as the costs of our ongoing attempts to find a “cure” for covid-19 continue to accumulate, an ounce of prevention seems to be a better investment with each passing day.

      “Possible unexpected consequences”?!?

      Iron rule, yo.

      Morning, peeps!

      • Cy Esquire

        *hat tip*

    • Not Adahn

      Wasn’t that a plot point in one of William Gibson’s stories? That a rentboy was sexually transmitting the cure for AIDS? And then some neo-Baptists killed him, Big Pharma took his blood to make a vaccine and a religion sprang up around the new savior?

  18. Tres Cool

    Im fortunate to have had the opportunity for the (brief) meet-up with SP, GT, and A. Nomad.
    And you should see the ass on GT- I bounced a quarter off it and got back a dime, 2 nickels, and 5 pennies.

    • Festus

      You seem quite smitten with our little red-headed girl. Tom T might have a thing or two to say about that.

    • Cy Esquire

      Pshh! There are no women libertarians!

      • Festus

        We’ll still slap-fight over them though.

      • Festus

        SP is very attractive.

  19. Cy Esquire

    https://www.zerohedge.com/economics/us-births-fall-lowest-level-generation-amid-pandemic-baby-bust

    ” In fact, one could argue this trend has been supercharged by the pandemic, thwarting theories about a lockdown “baby boom” as the number of births in the US fell by 4% in 2020, dropping to the lowest level since 1979.”

    That’s not at all how I saw that going. Those fucking betas strike again. Well, I guess it’s would be more accurate to say “those non-fucking betas strike again?” or even “Those fucking betas didn’t strike, again?”

    • Festus

      Those Betas struck out?