Fauci could hear Joe moaning in the background of the call.
“He’s convulsing, Dr. Fauci,” Finnegan said.
“Give him more vaccine,” Fauci said, his voice the dry whisper of rubbing insect wings.
“More?” she asked desperately.
“And put five masks on him,” he said.
“Five? How can he breathe through five masks?”
“Masks are perfectly breathable. It’s a lie that anyone has problems breathing through a mask. If you can breathe through one mask, you can breathe through five. That’s just logic. And logic is science. You don’t want it to be known that you don’t believe in science, do you?”
“No, sir,” the young woman said quietly. Joe made another strangled cry.
“Good child,” Fauci whispered. “Now put Jen on the phone.” He waited in his palanquin as the phone was fumbled hand-to-hand.
“Dr. Fauci?” Jen said.
“He needs more of the serum,” he told her. “Up the dosage to 35 macrograms.”
“Macrograms?” she asked.
“Yes, like micrograms but much bigger! Don’t you science at all?”
“Yes, Doctor,” Jen said.
“Good, good,” he said. “I have nine more TV appearances today and then I’ll be back in Washington to check on him.”
“Hurry, back, Doctor,” Jen said breathlessly.
Fauci closed the connection without answering.
“Open it,” he said through the external speaker of his isolation pod.
“Are ya sure, Doc?” the rat-eyed maintenance worker asked.
“Of course,” Fauci answered.
“Whatcha looking for?”
“Science!” he shouted through the speaker.
The worker cracked the door of the trailer and fog and frost billowed out.
“Dees is some of tha earliest cases, you know,” the worker said. “City won’t bury dem until they get paid the bonus money.”
“Leave,” Fauci said.
Fauci had his interns open the door wider and load his isolation pod on the truck. “One hour,” he told them as they closed the door behind him.
In a spray of bleach, the isopod cracked open and Fauci unfolded himself into the mobile cold storage trailer filled with the COVID dead.
“Friends, my friends, oh how I’ve missed you,” he said, walking down the dim aisle between the bodies, running his hands over their opaque plastic storage bags.
He stopped at one, at random, and zipped open the cadaver pouch. A man, tape and glue on his face, intubation tube dangling from his mouth.
“They didn’t even clean you up before put you in the truck, did they?” Fauci asked the corpse. He lifted the tape off the eyes and peeled back an eyelid. The eye was white and sightless, innocent in death. He ran a finger across it, the cold rising into his fingertip.
He bent painfully and whispered into the man’s cold blue ear, “Who are your friends?”
He turned and opened another bag. A woman, obese and mottled black, her breasts resting in the bag on either side of her buried ribs. He brushed a nipple wide as a tea saucer and blue-black. “Thank you,” he said. “Thank you,” and stooped to give the nipple a dry kiss.
The next one down was a young man, and he sighed in delight. “I told them the young ones would die,” he said, resting his hand on the dead man’s thigh. “Did you even have children, yet?” he asked, lifting the cold penis to look at the shriveled scrotum.
“I’m sorry, my friends,” he said, shuffling down the aisle, closing the bags. “I’m sorry you had to die so that I could live.”
“I feel better than I have in a hundred years,” Fauci said, turning in the spray of bleach decontaminating him in order to return to the pod.
incest wings
I can’t tell if this is a typo or some nomenclature from a dark, scary corner of the internet.
I feared to ask the same question.
Think about the circumstances that would cause AutoCorrect to go with ‘incest’…
grumble
Someone is watching too much Angels and Insects.
Take
these incest wings
And learn to fly again
Learn to live so free
“stooped to give the nipple a dry kiss.”
Somewhere, someone will give you money for words.
My income from Glibs articles has tripled in the last few months!
Elder God? Escapee from Hell?
The Hat’s immortal Frenemy?
A man who loves his work.
It’s funny because it’s true.
Fauci wasn’t actively fucking the corpses, nor did he pile them up and dance a jig atop them. Is SugarFree trying for subtlety?
You guys usually miss subtly. I mostly bang two rocks together.
I mean, yeah. Guilty as charged.
But we rarely miss typos. (Like subtlety!)
“I feel better than I have in a hundred years,” Fauci said, turning in the spray of bleach decontaminating him in order to return to the pod.
Once again an elegant close. Nicely done!
“You guys usually miss Subtly. I mostly bang two, rocks together”
I’m getting a “Game of Thrones” vibe. Prepare for tons of cool story lines and then the writing to stop while SF does his life ending media tour. HBO will be along shortly to re-write and then “finish” the story the way the progs want it done. It’ll have to be done… for SCIENCe!!!
[pulls off mask]
“Gasp! It was patriarchy all along!”
Its getting very interesting,
Bravo SF!
If it wasn’t for the meddling Glibs!
Ruh roh RaggY!
Anyone watched “Jupiter’s Legacy” on netflix yet? I finished it yesterday. Definitely some mixed feelings on it.
Expecting as little as possible from Mark Millar is always going to be your best bet.
It has some very cool aspects. But it’s annoying when the mask slips and ruins suspense of disbelief.
Yeah. It was pretty mixed for me, really seemed like the first season was setup instead of pay off. I much preferred the Invincible first episode setting up the story, while the arc of the entire season sets up further stories.
I’m two episodes in. It has potential, which I’m sure won’t be realized.
Floating joyfully on wings of incest.
Hunter will be fluttering along shortly to give us all a lecture on why incest is bad.
I found SF’s entrance music
https://youtu.be/q_eo5j5sib8
Perfect.
It’s glorious!
LOL
Wonderous!
Oh shit, that’s too good!
Sadly I actually know the band, but not the song.
Great find however.
And why haven’t you introduced us?
I haz disappoint! I watched that thing all the way to the end waiting for the tentacles… ? ?
It’s good, but (w/o the tentacles or abuela) it’s Not the SF I know. ?
I hope Sugarfree joins us on zoom and does a cold open with that playing in the background.
The Man of Mystery?
Thanks for the epileptic seizure.
I was expecting “Drugs and Masturbation” by Boris the Sprinkler.
Linkie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQ7UaVkkWcU
“the isopod cracked open”
For a second I thought you were talking about these.
Well, Fauci *is* a parasite.
The Japanese eat the really big ones.
https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/56278/18-awesome-facts-about-giant-isopods
One giant isopod was filmed attacking a larger dogfish shark in a deepwater trap by latching onto and eating the animal’s face
That’s metal as fuck!
I EAT U FACE!
Bathsaltz!
Stop. My back hurts and laughing this hard is killing me.
If you can breathe through one mask, you can breathe through five. That’s just logic. And logic is science. You don’t want it to be known that you don’t believe in science, do you?
You took that verbatim from a transcript, didn’t you?
Whitehouse Press meeting.
This is great. ?
I’m about 2/3 through your book and it gets better and better. I’d highly recommend it, if not for us vets, but also as a primer on what’s to come with the current Kung Flu vaccine when trouble brews over its fast-tracking and revelations-to-come of kickbacks, cover-ups, and all such crony-capitalism goodies.
Don’t forget to review it!
Fo sho, Mo! I wanna read the whole thing first and really apply my personal experience of this topic to the review. As a young man with health issues that were quite obviously caused by the DoD’s shenanigans, I cut myself off from the military and doctors, with no idea of what was going on regarding the ongoing fight against the Anthrax vaccine, with what Ozy et al were doing about it. His work really hits home.
Plisade, you’re the 3rd or 4th vet to reach out to me and say something to the effect of:
Only three or four?
What’s the book called again and where can I get a copy?
https://www.amazon.com/United-States-Members-Armed-Forces/dp/1734629304/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=dale+saran&qid=1620839747&sr=8-1
Amazon no longer lists eBook versions. For folks looking for eBook versions, hier.
Sanity- in Missoula, of all places
“Employees will like it, customers will like it, and if you’re uncomfortable coming into a place that isn’t wearing masks, then I guess that’s tough,” said Helean. “People don’t have to come in if they don’t want to, but I think a good majority of the people that walked through my doors over the last year will be happy they don’t have to deal with it anymore.”
Some entities, like Mountain Line and the Missoula International Airport are still subject to federal mask requirements, and Missoula County Public Schools will hold onto their mask requirement for the remainder of the school year.
To mask or not to mask — these two business owners simply ask for one thing.
“Respect people that want to wear a mask or that don’t,” said Nazelrod.
Masks are going to be just like facial piercings, for me.
A warning sign.
They are going to be the new velvet choker as a way of telling where someone is on the crazy/hot matrix.
Face diapers are never hot. Velvet chokers can be hot.
Oh.
Right.
I shouldn’t let my hatred of face diapers blind me.
palanquin
Thank you, William F. Buckley.
I apologize for having a large and diverse vocabulary.
BBV?
VOCABBED.COM
I have the weirdest boner right now.
I’m blame the SF entrance music video.
“Open it,” he said through the external speaker of his isolation pod.
“Are ya sure, Doc?” the rat-eyed maintenance worker asked.
“Of course,” Fauci answered.
“Whatcha looking for?”
“Science!” he shouted through the speaker.
The worker cracked the door of the trailer and fog and frost billowed out.
The Spice Must Flow For Dr. Fauci!
It actually makes more sense if Fauchi is Mumm-Ra. By wearing a mask, he can’t see his reflection!
Ooo… that works too.
Mumm-Ra tricked.
The exact thing I thought of.
Whitmer moves to shut down Enbridge’s Line 5
Because right now seems like the perfect time to shutdown another gas pipeline.
I get that this is in the news, but why did you link to an article that’s six months old?
I mistakenly linked to the older article. Apparently the deadline is today.
If the Democrats were trying to destroy the country, what would they do differently?
Because I really can’t think of much.
I’m too young, but the two recent similarities in my mind are the civil rights era and “white flight” from cities and the height of the Vietnam protests. You’ll also note there is some crossover between the two.
Both of which I understand the rage about much better.
Just eliminate access to fossil fuels and BAM, we magically get all our energy from “renewables.”
SCIENCE
Wood, dried dung…yes, renewable!
Need more cows!
No, cows are bad because of methane and the way they taste so good. You will receive permission to purchase your Chimpanzee dung allotment in 6 to 8 weeks. Please be waiting out front when the truck drives past, and you share will be thrown at you.
This is starting to seem like it is on purpose. . .
what would they do differently?
If I was trying to enact the social and economic breakdown of the country I can’t think of what I would be doing differently.
Yes. It feels coordinated and intentional. Kind of like the election fraud.
Bravo, SF. I expect Jeffrey Combs to star in the film adaptation.
I guess it’s time to panic.
Do they use the same chemical that is making raw rubber difficult to get?
Secret ingredients that make you crave in fortnightly.
Look, no one can guess why there’s random shortages now. There’s nothing that could be pointed to as a cause. Same as it’s completely impossible that increasing unemployment benefits is making it harder to find workers.
This. And those of us who have been paying attention have noticed that these disruptions are occurring frequently and are widespread. TMITE may be carrying water for the elites, but that water is in a grocery bag because there were no buckets in stock.
Why bother carrying water in a plastic bag when you could be carrying gasoline?
As a long time logistics guy, I am completely stumped too. What ever could be happening?!
I know, government will save us!
Brew pub chain had a sign out offering $1k sign on bonus for cooks.
My news feed has been clogged by stories about how the reason there’s no workers is that the pay is too low, it’s too dangerous, and why should people need to work anyway?!
Ohio is in two weeks (we can’t rush these things after all) going to start requiring (most) people who have been receiving unemployment benefits since before December 6th to start showing they’re looking for work again.
On the plus side, my company brought bonuses and 401k matching back in the summer of last year.
A contractor I talked to about work on my house says he’s backlogged in part because he can’t find help.
When I asked, “Unemployment?”, he said, “Yeah.”
No worries – once he does get help he won’t be able to find lumber.
Minimum 8 week lead time for a flooring installation last time I talked to the company setting it up. They used to wait until they had the parts in before scheduling, now they recommend calling right after signing the paperwork (as long as no components are back-ordered).
I’ve never gotten a bonus.
I’m likely not going to get a promotion despite the work I’ve been doing (or because I’ve been doing it at my current pay).
We’re going to be stockpiling toilet paper again, aren’t we.
You stopped?
We have a “comfortable buffer” of various paper products. GF is pretty diligent about it.
^
When it went back to normal I tried to get a bit more to stay ahead. Now if I can only get the gf to use it sparingly…
Keep it in the pie safe.
I have a few rolls stockpiled. Not enough for the seventh or eighth DANGER-WAVE or whatever the hell is happening now.
I think the new scare is the Indian variant.
INDIAN HELL VARIANT OF DEATH – COMING TO AMERICA?!
/Tonight on NBC News
By the end of the year, we’ll be running what cars we have left with bumper-mounted TP gasifier reactors.
Scary.
Khyber Pass Special Lee-Enfield converted to 45/70. I wouldn’t want to be around anyone shooting that.
I feel sad for some reason.
I put it on my watch list to see if anyone buys it.
I have heard of that conversion before. And it would be OK if you are shooting black powder .45/70.
Be a bad mistake to make though…
Then again, the only Martini I have is a stalking rifle in .303 Epps improved. Zero issues with receiver strength there.
Be a bad mistake to make though…
Yep.
Assuming it is even strong enough for that. It is a Khyber Pass Special. That’s a SMLE Mk III receiver with the charger bridge cut and hand stamped MLE socket markings. Maybe I’m wrong and it is a receiver from a MLE converted to a CLLE that someone added a SMLE safety and bolt to. The pictures are too crappy and too few. I put the whole thing together and it screams Khyber Pass Special which makes its safety suspect in my mind.
I think I’d want to test-fire that monster by sticking it in an old tire and pulling the trigger with a string while standing at a safe distance.
Panthermobile.
I feel like George Barris was more interesting and innovative. He certainly cost less in real dollar terms.
That said all of this stuff was style over function. I thought most of the Italian stuff from the same era blended style and function better.
Talk about being the first one to an accident.
Huh. I didn’t know about that. It didn’t appear in the version of the cartoons I grew up with in the 70s.
On topic for SF:
https://youtu.be/mSmpE68DPps?t=40
“Fife hunded cuckruch”
KOEGROÄCH!
wtf
“Their habits are similar to those of Hyena.”
Enough said.
Hey, kids! Guess who’s back from her extended trip?
I arrived home last night. If you want to know what I found when I opened the door, you’ll have to attend tonight’s Midweek Glib Virtual Meetup!
I’ll throw the doors open at 8 p.m. Eastern, 7 p.m. Glibtime, 6 p.m. Mountain, 5 p.m. AZ and Pacific.
If you are located elsewhere (Hi, Straff!), you’ll have to figure out the time for yourself, or use the handy dandy World Clock.
It’s good to be back.
The Wonder Dog?
Wun tausand cuckruch?
Maybe a skerpiun predhaytor?
Welcome back!
I’m heading out for dinner tonight. If I’m back early enough I’ll drop in before I head to bed.
OMWC
https://iconicphotos.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/images_maninchair.jpg?w=809
Hmmm…subdued and tasteful.
Just kidding…it was SugarFreeish like always!
Courtesy of Eric July’s YouTube show: Definition of anti-vaxxer from Miriam-Webster-
“a person who opposes vaccination or laws that mandate vaccination”
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/anti-vaxxer
They’re defining it down y’all, if you don’t think vaccines should be forced on others you’re on the same level as people who think they’re being injected with tracking devices, even if you’ve had it yourself. These people really are scum.
Fuckers want a war.
Jabbing me or my kids against our will is not going to fly.
I don’t think that’ll happen but what you might see is a government/private partnership to make life so miserable and restricted for the unvaccinated that 99 percent of them will eventually fold. In essence it’ll be your choice if a coerced choice really constitutes a choice, which it doesn’t.
Bingo!
People are starting to talk behind closed doors about this possibility. I mentioned it in the AM links, but multiple of my conservative, Christian friends are looking to start circling the wagons and get little self-supporting communities going for when we’re no longer welcome in polite company. They want to get the support structures in place so that people aren’t forced to cowtow to their fascist employers when they decide to crank the authoritarianism up to full power.
I was listening to Lions of Liberty and they were playing CNN’s (MSNBC’s?) Smerconish advocating employers requiring it and the social alienation of those who haven’t had it and the denial of services to them as well. It’s coming alright, especially if one lives in the wrong states.
They’re desperate to keep the fear and theater up as long as they can, because that’s who they are and the federal funds on top of that is not too shabby.
I’m guessing that their third “booster shots” are going to be their last big hurrah and their “annual” thereafter is gonna flop big time.
If we see some high profile adverse reactions in the kids, there might just be some blood in the streets (figuratively).
Hobson’s choice.
(And if you can find the Charles Laughton movie of the same title, do it!)
From the deadthread…
Swiss, regarding the O-4/O-5 thing, my observation is that up thru MAJ, the officer development seems to run pretty well, and you’ve got a good supply of competent (to varying degrees) people committed to doing a good job. O-5, being the last purely merit-based promotion is the break-point. Progressing on to O-6 and oh lord, beyond, adds increasing degrees of political-ness. I like O-5s, particularly those who’d rather do a good job and punch out than be a suck-up that’s promotable. The system gradually squeezes out being committed to truth and instills (more at each rank) the willingness to do what the system demands, or perhaps it winnows out those who just won’t bend to that. I find it terribly disheartening, but I’ve watched several groups of officers go through it (from an outsiders perspective), guys that I worked with as CPT/MAJ up to COL, and with more than a handful of GOs. I really do hope there is some major difference between the officers in the operational commands (that I don’t interact with often) vice the institutional ones (my predominant interaction). If there isn’t – then I foresee terrible trouble the next time we get in a major scrape.
Gov Whitmer making friends….
Enbridge federal court case receives broad support from government, business and labor from Michigan, Canada, and throughout the region
8:36 AM ET, 05/12/2021 – Briefing.com
The Government of Canada and entities representing hundreds of thousands of businesses and workers from across the Great Lakes region in the United States and Canada demonstrated support for Enbridge’s case in federal court over the Line 5 easement in the Straits of Mackinac by submitting friend of the court briefs. Entities that submitted briefs include:
The Government of Canada. Attorneys General of Ohio and Louisiana.Chambers of Commerce from the U.S., Canada, Michigan and Ohio, along with the Wisconsin Manufacturers and Commerce. North America’s Building Trades Unions (NABTU) and the United Steelworkers of America, AFL-CIO.
Your supposed “front-runner” in the next NYC mayoral election, folks.
I’m beginning to wonder if he’s ever even set foot here before.
Shouldn’t be too problematic as NYC’s Jewish population is so small.
And non-observant.
Not the Hasidim, although I don’t think any of them are registered Democrats (NY still has closed primaries as far as I know).
I don’t think they’ve changed the closed primary system since 2020.
I assumed they were joking, but yeah I had the same thought. Most of the hasidim were Trumpers so probably won’t have a say in the next mayor.