Open Post Because WebDom is Lame

by | May 12, 2021 | Daily Links, Open Post | 253 comments

Or busy, or working, or having a life, or something.

Amuse yourselves.

About The Author

WebDom

WebDom

WebDom grows Peyote buttons in the vast desert of her mind.

253 Comments

  1. kinnath

    Here we are now. Entertain us.

    • pistoffnick

      A mosquito.
      My libido

      Excellent guitar riffs. Piss, poor fucking lyrics.

    • Animal

      ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Please, Courtney, calm down. He didn’t mean it. Here, have a Xanax.

      • Fourscore

        Hahahaha, funny. You’re a funny guy

  2. Yusef drives a Kia

    It’s Less Dangerous,

  3. UnCivilServant

    That’s why I wrote stories – to entertain myself.

    I’m trying to not be annoyed with my computer right now.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I like being outdoors, anything, just to be in the free air, that’s entertainment,

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Nope,

    • Cy Esquire

      I’m drinking and making a Real Estate logo… you’re welcome to join me.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I’m too Drunk and stupid, would say things, thanks though,

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        And I’m not Drunk at all…

    • Ownbestenemy

      This the proper zoom or a made up one?

      • Cy Esquire

        Just a Zoom I’ve got out on invite. Not a sanctioned Glib event.

    • westernsloper

      School night so nope. And I have to make tomorrows lunch and tonights dinner. And fold laundry. Hah! who am I kidding, I’m not married I haven’t folded a piece of clothing in 20 years.

  4. Trigger Hippie

    The Larch. The Larch.

    • tripacer

      He’s a lumberjack and he’s ok

    • DEG

      #2 is GlibFit.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Today’s Sesame street is brought to you by the letter A and numbers 8 and 24.

      • Chafed

        I’ll be the judge of that.

        *takes a look*

        Confirmed.

  5. Mojeaux

    In a bit, I have to go tend to my deglovings.

    • The Gunslinger

      You’re going to be taking the gloves off?

      • UnCivilServant

        You don’t want the real answer.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Given her past stories this is the correct attitude to take on this

      • Trigger Hippie

        She’s going to your house to rob you?

      • Ownbestenemy

        *golf clap*

      • Trigger Hippie

        If it stops just one strangulation…

      • Mojeaux

        If that’s a joke, I don’t get it, but that’s a me problem, not a you problem.

        I have a night gig doing medical transcription/editing. One night, I was telling the Zoomglibs about a penis degloving I had edited. For some reason, there were objections (dunno why). So now when it is time for me to goto work, I say I have go tend my deglovings,

      • Q Continuum

        I don’t know a man alive who doesn’t enjoy a nice degloving by his girlfriend on a Sunday morning.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Wife has laid out this proclamation: You cheat you will be degloved and your hot dog will be sliced up.

      • Mojeaux

        Good woman.

      • Mojeaux

        *scccraaaaaaappppppeeeeee*

      • db

        I knew a guy who had his penis, scrotum, and the upper part of one thigh degloved in a tractor accident.

        Anyone here think it’s a good idea to stand above an unguarded PTO shaft between a tractor and a farm implement?

      • Mojeaux

        Ouchie.

      • db

        You could say that.

      • blackjack

        I know a guy who shot a ball bearing through his face using a press. He had a stubborn sealed bearing and kept going to use progressively higher powered presses. The 40 ton cracked the outer race and shot him right through the cheek. He’s lucky he didn’t lose all of his teeth.

        Back when I was young (er) I used to do framing. There was one guy who was scared to death to walk on joists. He would sit down whenever he could. One day he was sitting down and sawing through a 2×12 when he pinched the blade and the saw spit out and ripped his inner thigh right off. It was a bloody mess. I have no idea how he survived all that blood loss.

        Don’t fuck around with machinery.

      • Trigger Hippie

        ‘Don’t fuck around with machinery.’

        My aunt’s ex was a tree trimmer.

        One day, he got the bright idea to try to saw directly through a knot in a tree limb. Nowadays the best he can give you with his left hand is a peace sign.

      • Akira

        Don’t fuck around with machinery.

        Another reason I prefer hand-tool woodworking to the powertool kind. The only powered stuff I use out there is an electric drill and a dremel tool.

        You still have to observe safety rules to be sure, but even if I make a big mistake I’m not losing any fingers.

      • Mojeaux

        hand-tool woodworking

        Roy Underhill!

      • Akira

        Haha yep, Roy Underhill is one of the all-time greats! My big inspirations were Jonathan Katz-Moses, Rex Krueger, and Paul Sellers.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Tractor PTOs scare the shit out of me.

      • The Gunslinger

        Was just my way of saying I have no idea what deglovings means.

      • blackjack

        Hey, it’s no skin off of my back.

      • rhywun

        *munches hamburger*

        *please stay down*

  6. commodious spittoon

    Amuse yourselves.

    Nah. I farm that out to professionals.

    • Q Continuum

      I’d prefer it if you left the room first.

  7. Brochettaward

    I amuse myself like five times a day. When I come to Glibs I expect other people to do it for me.

    • Cy Esquire

      That costs extra… like… a lot.

  8. Cy Esquire

    Apex legends… 14% downloaded…

  9. hayeksplosives

    I had a mind-numbing schedule of meetings from 9 am through to 4 pm. And then I took mandatory training.

    Still working from home. Next week I’ll be back in the office.

    • hayeksplosives

      So that makes even the half-assed post worth looking at.

      I just had a shower (the reset button of life, as I call them) so that I can feel like a brand new day is starting now.

      The only obligation remaining is to take out the trash for tomorrow’s pickup.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Showers are fantastic and I agree..a great reset.

      • Hank

        Wait, did I just see what you did there?

      • Fourscore

        A shower for me now is more like a Spring Ritual. Preparation, get the water set close to right and the dance begins. Put the left foot in, put the right foot in, adjust the water temp, scrub but because I’m sitting down I have trouble reaching my feet. Finally get about 85% cleaned up. Then just sit with the hot water running down my back for about 5 minutes. Then develop an exit strategy. Get the right foot out, get the left foot out , dry off the handicap bar and get back into the wheel chair and finish the dry process.

        A 15 minute shower is about a half hour but worth every bit of the struggle. I feel like a new man.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Ah, Garbage Eve, as Dr. Bob Hartley calls it.

      • egould310

        Did you ever play “ Hi Bob”?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Heard of it, but no.

    • UnCivilServant

      I have two days stacked with meetings – Answering vendor questions and interviewing contractors.

      I look at my calendar and go “there’ll be no time to get any work done.”

      Then I realized this was my job.

      I am now sad.

  10. db

    Well, bitcoin just did something…interesting. I had a standing limit order at a crazy low price that just filled a little over a half hour ago. Not sure if that is a good thing or not.

    • hayeksplosives

      Geez. Tesla slid to under 600.

      Now I have to wait for a good rebound before I sell.

    • Mojeaux

      I’m predicting dips for everything. Bitcoin hasn’t stopped dropping, I guarantee it.

      • blackjack

        I’m predicting much misery. I kinda gotta wonder if the plan is for Biden to fuck shit up real bad, then have him bow out and when Harris does just one or two things half right, they can then claim she’s our savior. The big flaw is I can’t imagine Harris or any other lefty doing anything half right.

      • Urthona

        Everyone thinks that but my own feeling is there is no plan.

        these people running the show? all
        morons.

      • Tejicano

        I’m with you on that. All they are doing is the opposite of what OMB did – and reacting on the spot when that blows up.

      • blackjack

        OK, but when the whole world’s on fire and it’s obviously your fault after just 100 days? How can this be perceived as beneficial? Unless it’s some deep seated guilt, like when people steal things and then waste them out of bad feeling towards them.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Well they sure seem to be trying real hard to blame Gaza on Trump…

      • Count Potato

        Because it was a total lovefest before?

      • Fourscore

        “Harris does just one or two things half right”

        Look at Mr Optimist here, Harris will get right on that, as soon as she tidies up the border.

      • Sean

        Yes.

      • blackjack

        Trying to figure out when to get out of dodge?

      • Mojeaux

        Hovering around 45, but it peaked at 70. Its novelty has worn off.

      • Bobarian LMD

        I’m thinking oil companies might have good week.

    • DEG

      Yikes.

      I just checked my brokerage account. That was a big daily dip.

      I’m happy I got some money out to buy the Mustang when I did.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      I’m still mostly cash.

      These multiples are unsubstantiated by anything happening today or any historical fact.

      I’m completely open to the possibility that some issue out there is worthy of me, but I have failed to find one in a few years.

  11. rhywun

    We are not amused.

    • Count Potato

      You’re such a queen 😉

  12. Ownbestenemy

    I know I am getting old because the Zoom is old folk talking about wine and….I enjoy it.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Ooh, what kind?

      • Ownbestenemy

        I wasn’t paying attention cause I dipped out to the secondary zoom and got my hand slapped.

      • pistoffnick

        OBE gets around! Multiple zooms!

        Slut.

      • Ownbestenemy

        This what happens when you have some strange on the side

  13. hayeksplosives

    I have an old digital phosphor oscilloscope. It’s a nice one for ca. 2000-2002. But it has a floppy disk as the removable media.

    So I figured the old floppy drives were serial; I bet someone makes an external floppy disk drive. Sure enough, I found and ordered one. It works great.

    But here is the kicker: when I plug it in to a computer, the computer recognizes it as a floppy and assigns it to drive a:/

    That wouldn’t be a problem but all of our encryption schemes to prevent unauthorized uploads or downloads via USB stick, SD cards, or DVDs seem to apply only to drive letters beyond c:/.

    So it you have an external floppy drive and can take info in 1.4MB chunks or smaller, you could totally bypass the security.

    Isn’t this a pretty major flaw? Is this a known issue?

    • db

      That’s pretty funny. Have you confirmed that the security still works for other removeable media?

      • hayeksplosives

        Yes.

      • blackjack

        Yeah, we can’t use removeable storage at all. Once, the IT gave us something on a thumb drive. Had to call him back and tell him we can’t use it.

      • commodious spittoon

        I had sevenish years’ worth of documents just disappear from my life because we couldn’t use thumb drives in our machines at work anymore, and when I tried emailing myself my Word files in a zip file after I resigned, I think their security flagged it and it never came through. So all the weird thoughts and little essays I wrote in the downtime over those years are gone.

    • blackjack

      Maybe we can hack into the solar/wind grid and cause some carnage or ransom the fix?

    • rhywun

      ISTR that my work claimed floppys were also verboten in the recent missive about external media.

      … 1.4 MB LOL

      • db

        1.44, thankyouverymuch

      • rhywun

        I was navigating a 4 GB text file at work yesterday (looking for invalid characters). In HS that file would have filled a disk drive the size of a refrigerator.

      • Tejicano

        Bullshyte!

      • Tejicano

        (hit post comment too soon)

        Disc drives were only the size of a washing machine. The drive controllers were the size of a refrigerator.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Which is the very early Woodsy Allen movie where he’s asked if he’s ever worked with a computer and he replies yes, his aunt had one? Can’t find it.

      • Bobarian LMD

        One of my college room-mates bought a Zenith 286 that had a massive 20 mb hard drive. There is no way in hell you could ever fill that up, as the whole operating system and a copy of Word 2.0 fit on a single 5 and a quarter floppy disk.

        pedant on/ Also the 3.5 only held 1.4M (and a small amount of change), as it was 1440K and 1M =1024K

    • Timeloose

      It might be a problem getting all of those” save” icon toys out of the site for a sufficiently large file.

      I’m now humming Jonny Cash “On Piece at a Time”

      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=18cW_yHo3PY

      • UnCivilServant

        Copy them to a Jaz drive before leaving.

      • db

        I used to work at a power plant…standard handheld angle grinders were referred to as “lunch box” grinders, because of reasons you can figure out. Apparently, in the 1980s, when the power markets in PA were fully regulated and the companies owned everything from the generators to the local distribution wires, and the companies were guaranteed an 8% return, maintenance and operating budgets were predictably flush, and that kind of theft, and much worse, was commonplace.

        We had these huge fuel oil tanks that were supposed to be used for flue reheat burners (long story) that were abandoned in the 1970s, but the tanks were still used to store fuel oil for the auxiliary boilers and main boiler ignition systems. I think we had 2 or 3 5-million gallon tanks. Back in the day, I was told that all winter long, guys would come into work with 3 or 4 empty 55 gallon oil drums and leave at the end of the day with their trucks heavily laden. Few of them paid to heat their houses. Evidently, huge amounts of carbon tetrachloride (a common industrial solvent in the early days) went home with guys and their wives used it for home dry cleaning. Wonder how many of them got sick…

      • Bobarian LMD

        We used to use tetrachloride to clean the M16s in the arms room. I put my hands in it a few times.

        It would strip all the oil from your skin almost immediately and make you r skin so dry it would hurt.

        MOPP gloves became the standard.

        Cleaned the hell out of an M16 though.

      • l0b0t

        A good portion of my hand tools came from my step-dad’s (and his brothers’) time with Southern Bell and are all stamped/engraved with company logos (with great company branded cases/pouches) from the ’60s – ’70s. Beautiful stuff.

      • hayeksplosives

        A list of names does not require much space. A plot of tens of thousands of data points doesn’t either; you can get at least 5 per floppy.

      • db

        Yeah, most “data” I deal with are time series of process or QA data, doesn’t really take up much space, even at high frequency recording rates. The incredible bloat of modern software is amazing, when you consider the real power of the simplest data compared to the metadata imposed by apps like Word, Excel, and formatting that take up more space than anything.

        I was thinking earlier about how most data I look at don’t need more than 4 or 8 bits per record. Temperatures, pressures, flow rates, etc. don’t need that much precision.

      • rhywun

        Depends. That metadata has its uses.

        I hate dealing with Excel when all I want is data to push it somewhere else, but when I need to sort it or process it or present it to somebody spreadsheetwise, it’s useful.

      • Bobarian LMD

        But a .csv and a little instruction to excel can make multi Mb .xlxs file a 60K data set and not lose that usefulness.

      • slumbrew

        The monitoring TSDB I work with is about 1.8 bytes per sample, which is pretty durn good.

    • The Last American Hero

      I think this is the plot to Ocean’s 15. They upload the virus using an old floppy and thousands of disks. The trick is keeping security out of the server room for the 3 days needed to upload the virus, leading to much hijinks ensuing from the beloved all star cast.

      • hayeksplosives

        I can dig it.

        The most charming aspect of the external floppy-to-usb drive is that old familiar “whir whir click whir THUNK whir” sound that only a floppy drive makes.

        The Oceans 15 guys would have to cover that up while they did their work.

    • Ownbestenemy

      We have equipment for air traffic that we still have to use 3.5 diskettes for. FAA – yesterday’s technology today.

      • blackjack

        Our fleet management software was installed in 1991. I had no idea that was even a thing that early. It’s DOS based. They just last year got the new version and it’s internet based. No internet, no info. Wouldn’t matter too much, but we have extremely crappy internet, like as in 50/50 shot it’ll work.

      • hayeksplosives

        That answers my question: why do they even make floppies anymore?

        Government, of course. Same reason people still learn ADA and COBOL.

        I should have known.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I think that system is set to phase out in 2022? Then it’s to RW-CDs

      • robc

        Also banking. They have lots of legacy COBOL and hire people to sit around doing mostly nothing but ready to fix any bug that pops up.

        Rewriting in a modern language would be a disaster. It should still be done.

      • Cowboy

        We are finally upgrading the last of our ancient unix boxes to the latest and greatest. Of course getting our graphics and configuration files etc was a real blast. Wound having to set up a testbed to command line ftp everything over to, since there were no USB ports only floppy drives. I won’t miss rebuilding those boxes every
        few weeks. I think we may have been the last plantsite in North America, maybe even the world still using that garbage.

      • slumbrew

        Which flavor of unix? I’ve used all sorts of bullshit.

        *thinks about SCO, shudders*

      • Cowboy

        It was SunOS with some extra proprietary stuff thrown in there. The os really wasn’t bad once gotten used to, I actually enjoyed learning the command line stuff; it was just the ancient hardware that was the biggest issue. Constant system freezes led to pissed off operators and late nights rebuilding machines pieced from a dozen other busted boxes.

      • slumbrew

        Huh – actual SunOS or Solaris? It would indeed be ancient (and _way_ out of support) if was SunOS; I’m going to guess Solaris, which would still call itself SunOS internally.

        I cut my teeth on that stuff – I wonder if you’re still on the SPARC platform? I suspect yes, if you were cannibalizing old machines.

        Sun was the pinnacle of Unix, for a while – since they made both the hardware and software, it worked together really, really well. They lost their way, but perhaps that was inevitable.

        For a brief, shining moment it looked like Apple was going to buy they – that might have been a good fit – but instead it ended up being Oracle.

        If Google’s original (now abandoned) motto was “don’t be evil”, Oracle’s might have been “be as evil as possible”. Hands-down my least favorite company to deal with.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Looks at some of our processors and sees SPARC….nah they dont use those anymore

    • Ownbestenemy

      Your O’scope is 20 years newer than what we use lol. I think we just got a digital o’scope finally that was manufactured in 2008?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Thats awesome. I’ll have to snap some photos of our test equipment. We are just starting to replace most of it

      • LCDR_Fish

        We still use some pretty old ones for enlisted navy training where I work. Also to simulate some functions that can’t always be replicated in the classroom – and hard to replace some of the 30+ yr old Milspec parts.

  14. Yusef drives a Kia

    Long days ahead, Good Night Glibbies! see you on the other side,
    /Out

  15. db

    Oh, by the way, if drilling things is your thing, and you have lots of custom size drills, you need a Drill Doctor. I got one a couple of months ago and started using it in earnest recently. I hadn’t realized how dull some of these had become until I cleaned them up with the Dr. They cut like Fred and Ginger on a flying carpet now.

    • db

      Not sure about that metaphor. Anyone got a good one about goths and cutting maybe?

      • rhywun

        This seems appropriate.

      • rhywun

        I like some older PSB but that one is not familiar to me.

      • db

        I liked it. The singer’s voice (can’t recall his name now) is one of the most recognizable voices in all of music. Their style is very distinctive as well. I heard this song in the background somewhere years ago, and immediately knew it was Pet Shop Boys with a couple of notes and words.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Neil Tennant. Started out as a music writer. They also made a movie in the 80s.

      • db

        (Don’t have to drive)
        A super car to get far
        (Don’t have to wear)
        A smile much colder than ice
        (Don’t have to be)
        Beautiful but it’s nice
        (You need more) Than the Gerhard Richter hanging on your wall
        a chauffeur-driven limousine on call
        to drive your wife and lover to a white tie ball
        You need more, you need more, you need more
        You need more, you need more, you need more
        You need love

      • rhywun

        Fun fact: I was sort of friends with a guy who wound up quitting school and shacking up with him. Met him at a concert.

        Coincidentally he had been assigned to room with me before I backed out before the beginning of the semester and went off-campus, before I knew him.

        This kid was literally the most beautiful man I have ever seen in person. It was ridiculous.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        “I love you / You pay my rent” ? ?

      • Gender Traitor

        Another fun* fact: The actor David Tennant picked that last name as his stage/screen name in honor of Neil Tennant. (His real name is David McDonald, and there were probably too many of those running around the entertainment industry already.)

        *For some values of fun

      • Timeloose

        They cut like little Trudie after another dateless night while reading Teen Vogue.

    • blackjack

      I’ve been using these for about twenty years now. I had a customer who was a retired machinist and he would hand sharpen my bits. It looked easy and I tried to do it myself for a few months but couldn’t. He told me to get the DD and it works great. I burned one out and bought a replacement.

      • db

        For the price, if it saves me from having to buy only a few long aircraft drills, or some hard to find number or letter size drills, it’ll pay for itself relatively quickly. Plus it’ll make the work a lot easier and more accurate.

      • egould310

        “ I had a customer who was a retired machinist and he would hand sharpen my bits. “

        Tee’d that one up there.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Huh. Drill Doctor is by Work Sharp that was recommended here as well (and I’ve been happy with although I’m not quite proficient with it yet).

    • DrOtto

      *looks at ISIS swag from a family friend who worked for ISIS before they changed name to Softcard. Drinks from Enron Field souvenir cup* What were we talking about now?

      • Bobarian LMD

        I’ve got an Enron Golf shirt that was donated by one of their Executives to our golf tournament.

        this was maybe a year before the company imploded.

      • hayeksplosives

        I have a Blackwater ball cap. (I used to work for Halliburton.)

        My technicians all begged me for it so I had to call up an old colleague to send a dozen.

        No accounting for taste.

      • slumbrew

        The Moro Islamic Liberation Front PR folks should have thought about their initialism in English before going with that name.

      • Chafed

        I may need to reconsider my stance on not supporting terrorism.

    • rhywun

      Classic.

      And I love old-timey television bits that seem like they’re from another universe.

      • db

        We have some old VHS tapes of MST3K and Star Trek:TNG that have some commercials that kids these days would never figure out. Like, what’s long distance service, and why should I be satisfied with mine?

    • Timeloose

      There’s multiple ways to loose weight with Ayds.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Putting it back on takes a lot more effort.

    • commodious spittoon

      Please tell me there are lawsuits rolling in from vulnerable health populations, like a tortious tide soaking all in its path. I’d rather see the money get dragged off (and tens of millions beside) in attorney’s fees.

    • Chafed

      Same thing in California starting June 15th.

  16. commodious spittoon

    That cheese and egg crust recipe is a lie. It is not a delicious glutenous feast, it’s a fritatta. Pizza fritatta sucks.

    • Chafed

      Sounds disgusting.

      • slumbrew

        Need more info – frittatas are delicious.

        Sounds like a GF pizza crust attempt? Cauliflower crusts are… fine. Never would be mistaken for the real deal but reasonably tasty.

      • l0b0t

        Ground beef or meatloaf mix, rolled out very, very thin onto parchment paper and baked make a most delicious GF pizza crust.

      • Gender Traitor

        I just now figured out what “GF” stood for. At first, I thought slummy was talking about something his girlfriend had tried to make.

        ::slurps more desperately-needed coffee:: Good morning, l0!

      • rhywun

        I love cheese, and eggs. How bad could it be?!

        Burning through that much pre-shredded mozzarella sounds kind of pricey, though.

  17. Count Potato

    “Woman forced Dogecoin millionaire to ejaculate inside her at gunpoint

    Albuquerque, NM | Jenifer Garcia, a 25-year-old woman, allegedly forced a 21-year-old Tinder date to ejaculate inside of her vaginal cavity in hopes of conceiving.

    A Tinder date that started as a simple hook-up ended up as sperm robbery after Tomas Martinez, a Dogecoin millionaire, showed Garcia his cryptocurrency wallet after engaging in sexual intercourse. Garcia then convinced Martinez to have unprotected sex with her, stating that the condom was irritating her skin. She told him to pull out if he is scared of getting her pregnant.

    “I think she knows that I was going to pull out any second because she told me to slow down and then reached for a pistol under her mattress, point it to my head, and told me to cum inside her like God intended,” Tomas said he thought she was joking and until she showed her that the gun was loaded. She told him she wants his baby and called him Dogecoin Papi.

    A terrified Tomas said he was so scared that it took him 10 minutes to ejaculate with the gun on his head. “I went to the police station right away after she let me go hoping they’ll at least make her take a Plan B or something. They held her for the night in custody, and I think their most significant concern was the gun, and apparently, they dropped all the charges because I was the one at her place.”

    Whether she’s pregnant or not at this point, nobody knows at the moment. Tomas is hoping he will find a way of dodging the bullet if she had fallen pregnant on that day.”

    https://www.globalnea.com/woman-forced-dogecoin-millionaire-to-ejaculate-inside-her-at-gunpoint/

    • slumbrew

      Browsing around that site, it may not be the most reputable source.

      • Count Potato

        I just like the headline.

      • limey

        Agreed. Also, if it was true, why would you flash your coin at a girl you just met, who has you at a disadvantage?

        Dudes be flexin’ when they shouldn’t, for bitches they don’t even know / Show the trick your crypto wallet and watch her hungry eyes grow like your portfolio / Fools act surprised when they got a gun to their melon / They be about to face a crisis like their name was Janet Yellen

      • Tejicano

        Yeah, while I wouldn’t be saying that he should have kept it a total secret it generally works best when the sum is abstract.

    • Brochettaward

      Big deal. Woman who want my carry my seed force me to ejaculate into them at gunpoint all the time. It comes with the territory of being First.

      • Chafed

        What color is the sky on your planet?

      • limey

        This is what happens when the brutals get a hold of the guns.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Algorithms

      • slumbrew

        Probably true.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I think the best one I saw this week was something like “Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez are getting back together in California, which is losing a congressional seat due to the census ”

        Yet people read it and nod their heads.

      • KSuellington

        Remember that Paul Krugman article generator? Somebody needs to make a woke version of that. I bet a computer could get a regular byline at Salon or Teen Vogue.

      • limey

        Link? I couldn’t find the Krugabe generator with a DDG search. It sounds hilarious.

    • CPRM

      I got ‘invalid’

      Anyway, some of us are the zoom from SF’s mid-day article.

  18. Yusef drives a Kia

    Good Morning Glibs, burnt out Thursday for Yusef,

    • Tejicano

      Hey Yu!

      Winding my Thursday down over here. A short can then I pick up (just walking) my youngest to come home for dinner.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Nice, enjoy the Evening, we will get to 63 today, which is good

  19. Sean

    Ni hao.

    • Tejicano

      Wo hen hao. Ni ne?

      • Tejicano

        You have no idea how much I had to fight spellcheck to get that out

      • Sean

        我行好! 谢谢。

        *googled answer.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Sounds like a Monty Python Sketch…

    • rhywun

      I thought it was hilarious when I visited China, the classy hotels have a pretty lady standing in the elevator lobby and greeting everyone who comes down for breakfast. She will say either “Ni hao!” or “Good morning!” and guess how she makes that decision.

      • Gender Traitor

        Lacist!!!

        Good morning, rhy!

      • rhywun

        Mornin’.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        You getting any sunshine down there?
        We happy rednecks up nyaa!

      • Gender Traitor

        Yes! It’s going to be a lovely day! And a virtual vacation day, as my boss is off. Plus today is my early evening swim day.

        Good morning, Yu!

  20. l0b0t

    Hilarious! I get home from work around 5am and find that SP’s zoomy is still hoppin’. Now, I’m catching up on the overnight comments and find there were multiple zoomys tonight. Y’all are awesome.

    • Sean

      Wow. Any broken tvs? Any nipple slips?

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, U! How are you today?

      • UnCivilServant

        Meh.

        My calendar is full of meetings and interviews I don’t want to have to do.

      • Gender Traitor

        Meetings suck. If you have to use a webcam, can you make this your background?

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t use a webcam.

        And Half of these are interviews for consultants. Half of these are not american. I don’t want to try cross-cultural humor with people I’ve never met.

        heck, I wouldn’t risk that joke with half the people in the office.

      • Gender Traitor

        I don’t use a webcam either. I was issued one, but it’s sitting unplugged under my monitor, pointing upward (just in case it’s somehow rigged to work while disconnected. ::adjusts aluminum millinery::)

      • CPRM

        I use the one on the laptop I got for free for zooming. When I’m not using it the laptop is closed.

      • Gender Traitor

        “Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach. Those who can’t teach, consult.”

      • CPRM

        Those who can’t teach, consult. teach gym. [insert Kyle Gass]

      • UnCivilServant

        So, what you’re saying is I should become a PE Instruction consultant?

  21. Fourscore

    Mornin’ All,

    Best night’s sleep in a couple months. 6.5 hours with only 3-4 breaks. Insomnia is way over rated.

    Happy Days are here again.

    Checks market futures. Dammit! Sad … Oh well, buy cheap, sell cheaper…

    • CPRM

      Tuesday I was up for 30hrs, then I slept for 20 hrs and missed my whole day off Wednesday.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, 4(20)! That’s wonderful news!

      I’m in such a good mood today, I’m going to make it a point NOT to look at how my 401(k) is doing.

    • Festus

      Nice to hear! I hope that your discomfort diminishes over the coming weeks! Most of us have Grandparents that never recovered from what happened to you. You are a Lion, Sir…

  22. CPRM

    Staff just left last nights Zoom, so it has officially ended. Yall missed it.

    • Gender Traitor

      Jeeminy criminy! That must be some kind of record for Glibs!

      I miss all of them. 🙁

      Good morning, C! Sorry you slept through your day off, but maybe that was the best way to spend it.

      • CPRM

        I had stuff to do. But I guess it will get done some other day.

    • Festus

      All this time I might have been Thursday morning Toobin’ and I never knew. Now I feel like the girl that stayed home when all of her friends went to Shea Stadium to see some funny-haired band.

      • CPRM

        That’s what happens when HM makes people scared to click links.

      • Festus

        It’s because I touch myself at night, isn’t it?

      • CPRM

        Yeah, you should do that during the day, at a middle school.

  23. Festus

    I’m entertaining myself as we we speak! Beer and ciggies and Glibs.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Fes! I just realized that with almost all of our statewide restrictions expiring 6/2, we’ll get to see more of our local minor league team’s baseball games! Under the current rules, we were only going to get 6 of our usual 17 games, and they wouldn’t be in our preferred seats. We may be short a game or two in May, but after that, with any luck things will be much closer to normal.

      • Festus

        It’s incredibly stupid up here. All the Junior leagues played in “pods” and there are no play-offs. Much like the school systems, we are raising a generation of jug-eared retards. If these kids ever get to the show they are going to blind-sided by the pace of play.

  24. CPRM

    I haven’t eaten in around 36 hrs..can I market sleep for 20hrs and then drinking for 12hrs as weight loss plan?

    • Sean

      You’re going to need scantily clad ladies dancing in the background of your commercials.

      And a clever name.

      • CPRM

        Hiberhol?

    • Festus

      Dude, you need protein, carbs and a shit-load of vitamin content. Stat! Ask me how I know. That stuff will kill you.

      • Sean

        And fat. Don’t forget the fat.

        *passes CPRM some bacon jerky*

      • CPRM

        I took my calcium+D supplements. Gotta reschedule my b-12 injection for tomorrow. I’m just not hungry.

      • Festus

        Understood. That happens to me sometimes, too. Didn’t mean to harp.

    • CPRM

      If he hasn’t been doing this the whole time it’s chicken shit.

      • Sean

        The state itself didn’t have mask mandates, as DeSantis spoke strongly against them throughout the height of the pandemic, but individual counties and municipalities did have them, despite DeSantis inveighing against them.

        I dunno. Seems fairly consistent.

      • CPRM

        But if he let cases go on for a whole fucking year without intervening it’s bullshit.

      • Festus

        I don’t know that much about DeSantis but he’s poking the right sets of eyes, lately. I hate what this overreaction has done to us. He did finally clean up Florida’s electoral boards.

    • Festus

      Thanks, Joe.

      • Festus

        “What’s good for General Electric is good for the USA! Hey!”

      • Festus

        235 MILLION DOLLARS? Joe pisses that into his Depends every time Strawberry walks into the room.

      • Sean

        Apparently it does buy a lot of rockets.

      • Festus

        Going to visit the new links and snark afresh. See you there or be square.