Saturday Morning Links of Hell

by | May 22, 2021 | Daily Links | 204 comments

“L’enfer, c’est les autres” or so said Sartre, the Jerry Lewis of philosophy. “And where hell is there must we ever be,” opined Marlowe. “Hell is a democracy of devils, where all are equals,” claimed Melville. Roth observes, “The road to hell is paved with works-in-progress.” Hell was my workplace the past week, says OMWC. Massive material shortages, demands to create new products from scratch using whatever is available, compress a year of development into two weeks, and get bitched at because it’s taking two weeks and why isn’t it done already. Then equipment failure causing one of our giant reactor tanks to crack open and spill its contents.

And 3 digit temperatures in May. I’m so done with this place.

Birthdays today include a guy whose music isn’t nearly as bad as it sounds; a strong advocate for fairies; a guy who didn’t know if it was safe; a guy who inspired my favorite work; arguably the greatest bandleader ever (certainly the most unusual and creative); a guy who was usually wrong but in interesting and useful ways; the rich guy who cursed us with Bush The Younger; a guy most famous for getting shot; the last of the semi-honest news guys; our very own Francisco d’Anconia; a guy most famous for his injuries; and a candidate for dumbest human in the Senate (“My daddy gave me this seat, have respect!”).

News next.

 

There’s a place in Hell for these cops.

 

More cops piling into Hell, if there is any justice in this world.

 

Totally not antisemitism. Go to Hell, Rage Boy.

 

More chaos and dysfunction. Good.

 

This brings out my inner geek. OK, my geek is not so inner.

 

Old Guy Music features space jazz from one of the Birthday Boys. It sorta encapsulates how I’m feeling today.

About The Author

Old Man With Candy

Old Man With Candy

Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me. Wait, wrong book, I'll find something else.

204 Comments

  1. Tonio

    Good morning, Glibs!

    OM, I’m morbidly curious about the origins of the feed illo.

  2. The Gunslinger

    Morning old man. This is an impressive feat for the injuries guy.

    “Known for his longevity, John was the Opening Day starter for both the 1966 Chicago White Sox and the 1989 New York Yankees.”

  3. Yusef drives a Kia

    Kayaking? or Disc golf? it’s going to be 80 today, plenty of time to play in the warm sunshine…….

    • Tonio

      Kayak. Because presumably there are fewer kayak days than DG days where you live. Jealous.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I told you to come up and hang out,

      • Tonio

        I owe you an email.

  4. Gender Traitor

    When the Rev. GT and I split up, we used that line in the letter we wrote announcing it to the church he served. It was an amicable parting, so we started off with, “We have some news which, like Wagner’s music, isn’t nearly as bad as it sounds.”

    That was my idea. 🙂

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I like Wagner,
      you know who else liked Wagner?

      • Gender Traitor

        Natalie Wood?

      • rhywun

        *snort*

      • Chafed

        Well done!

      • Trigger Hippie

        Elmer Fudd?

      • Tres Cool

        The 1st Cav Division in ‘Apocalypse Now’ ?

  5. Count Potato

    I kind of regret not seeing Sun Ra back when I had the chance. He used to play every couple of months or so, but I never went.

    • Old Man With Candy

      Seriously the greatest live music shows I’ve ever seen.

      • Count Potato

        Oh well.

    • Tom Teriffic

      Caught him at my uncle’s insistence. I went, fully prepared to hate it but came away impressed.

      BTW, Bunky and Jake, mentioned on that Rolling Stone cover, were pretty good. I bought a copy of their album. Bunky’s mother has the other one.

  6. Trigger Hippie

    Paywall links are Hell.

    • Chafed

      It saved you from reading WaPo so there’s some benefit.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Keeps in the riffraff?

  7. The Late P Brooks

    Liberal Justice Sonia Sotomayor declared that a recent majority opinion authored by Justice Brett Kavanaugh was “fooling no one” with what she characterized as an “egregious” and “twist[ed]” interpretation of past relevant cases.

    In a separate new case, liberal Justice Elena Kagan claimed Kavanaugh was engaging in judicial “scorekeeping” as he tried to turn one of her earlier opinions against her.

    That damned 22nd Amendment ruined everything.

    • rhywun

      It was unseemly, nay unprecedented, of Trump to nominate judges who might ruffle the feathers of liberal Justice Sonia Sotomayor or liberal Justice Elena Kagan.

    • Chafed

      It’s awful having someone point out your contradictions when your job affects over 300 million people.

  8. Toxteth O'Grady

    No Morrissey mention? At first I thought he was #1.

    • limey

      Question: Is Bill Gates is the new Morrisey, uniting everyone in dislike and enranklement against his dumbfoolery? Bill Gates is definitely more consequential in his bestupiding.

    • Old Man With Candy

      I don’t even know who the hell he or she is.

      • Tejicano

        Yeah, I assume it’s one of those kid things. No idea.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Wry gay pompadoured self-pitying lead singer of the Smiths.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        (63 today, so no longer a wee twink.)

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        oops, 62. Why do I think it’s 2022?

    • rhywun

      He’s not a scientist or jazz musician. 🙂

  9. Trigger Hippie

    Stoughton said police officers have been trained since the mid-1990s about the dangers of positional asphyxiation — suffocating someone by putting pressure on their back while they are in what’s called the prone position.

    “There’s approximately a three-minute, 43-second period after officers have applied handcuffs where they keep the individual in the prone position, and ‘that’s not acceptable,” Stoughton said.’

    I fully expect massive protests in the streets of cities across the nation and congress critters to symbolically take a knee for three minutes forty-three seconds any day now. Right?!

    *sees the guy’s skin color*

    Oh, nevermind then.

    • rhywun

      Yeah, I was almost afraid to look.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Don’t worry. He was just methed out white trash. Not even a real person.

      • Chafed

        Sadly that’s correct. One more example for Thomas Chatterton to use.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Irritating, ain’t it?

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Hope dashcam footage emerges.

  10. rhywun

    Go to Hell, Rage Boy.

    There have been multiple incidents like this in recent days. Gotta say, it’s got me a little on edge, living at the epicenter of where these types hang out as I do. And within walking distance of huge numbers of their targets. Those “Free Gaza” protests that were in Manhattan a couple weeks ago are now taking place in the streets outside my living room window. Well, there was only one big one so far but there are little outbreaks and hooting and hollering and honking and drag-racing almost every day.

    • limey

      What’s the “Cathedral’s” messaging to the Jewish communities on this? Stiff ignoring? “Right wing agitators”? Empty platitudes against anti-semitism while rationalizing and contextualizing what is otherwise rather unambiguous anti-semitism from their fellow travelers?

      • rhywun

        Stiff ignoring?

        This one. Deblasio has the political cunning to keep his trap shut in this case unlike those Squad harpies.

      • Tejicano

        “Stiff ignoring?”

        I thought that was something that happened while dancing at the high school prom.

    • limey

      Strategic sabotage?

      • Chafed

        You give the party too much credit. He was the first guy to announce a run. Now he is getting some scrutiny.

  11. Count Potato

    “The two Bureau of Prisons workers tasked with guarding Jeffrey Epstein the night he killed himself in a New York jail have admitted they falsified records, but they will skirt any time behind bars under a deal with federal prosecutors, authorities said Friday.

    The prison workers, Tova Noel and Michael Thomas, were accused of sleeping and browsing the internet instead of monitoring Epstein the night he took his own life in August 2019.

    They were charged with lying on prison records to make it seem as though they had made required checks on the financier before he was found in his cell.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9606679/Epstein-guards-skirt-jail-time-deal-prosecutors.html

    sus af

    • Chafed

      Excellent grist for the rumor mill.

    • Mojeaux

      It may actually be that where there’s smoke, there’s fire, but you never know who started the fire.

      • Steve

        “…you never know who started the fire.”

        WE certainly didn’t

      • Mojeaux

        It was always burning, since the world’s been turning.

      • rhywun

        Stop it!

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO SAY?

      • Chafed

        Ted’S level hate confirmed.

      • Gender Traitor

        Well, I tried to provide an antidote below.

        Fighting fire with fire, if you will.

      • Gender Traitor

        ?

      • rhywun

        Dammit.

      • Akira

        It may actually be that where there’s smoke, there’s fire, but you never know who started the fire.

        And due to the popularity of false rape charges these days, I’m immediately skeptical of these decades-old accusations against famous people. It could start with one woman’s effort to get some hush money paid out, then other women want in on the payday as well.

        If they don’t have evidence, sorry, you blew it. As with any other crime, it’s the responsibility of the victim to preserve any evidence and bring it to the authorities. If my house got broken into but I repaired everything and cleaned from top to bottom and reported it a year later, nobody would call it a miscarriage of justice if that were not prosecuted.

      • Mojeaux

        Dude is/was a Scientologist. Don’t think for a second they wouldn’t send goons out to threaten the victims.

      • Tom Teriffic

        Fer troof, especially since he’s a formerly celebrity co-creature.

    • C. Anacreon

      How can you prove anything after twenty years?

      I think O. Henry wrote about how to do this.

  12. rhywun

    The Roberts Court, with three appointees of former President Donald Trump now in place, appears to be entering a new era of personal accusation and finger-pointing.

    LOL never change, CNN.

    • limey

      Imagine the CNN board meeting where they pitch the new angle.

      “Okay guys, I think the direction we need to take is to encourage the perception of, and transition to, the highest court in the land to a dramality show. I’m thinking Real Housewives but with more robes, and some legalese to make it sound legit. The narrative we’re going for is to give all our progressive justices all the sassy one liner put-downs and of course we can totally cast the bad conservative justices as the petty villains. We need to start scripting and storyboarding the narratives, finding stand-ins, shooting cutaways where we can make it look like Gorsuch just slapped Sotomayor or something. I bet we could even claw back maybe 10% our Trump-era viewership with fine journalism like this.”

      • Tejicano

        Call it “Eleven on the Bench” so they would get what they really want and nobody would even notice,

    • EvilSheldon

      Yeah, really no. The USSC has always been an elementary school lunchroom.

      A friend of mine clerked for Justice Kennedy back in the day. The stories he would tell were horrifying.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Chief Justice John Roberts dismissed Gorsuch’s suggestions, writing, “the dissent speculates that the real reason for today’s decision is an ‘impulse’ to provide relief … or maybe a desire ‘to make life easier for ourselves.’ … There is no call for such surmise.”

    The court is completely immune from politics. No one would dare suggest otherwise.

  14. Timeloose

    Here is a great summary of the world wide semiconductor shortage from one of the best CEO’s past or present in the industry.

    https://youtu.be/qq71IIYSJQI

    • Tundra

      That was really good. I was shocked to hear his thoughts on government meddling.

  15. Annoyed Nomad

    Gov Dewine is claiming that his Vax-a-million lottery is working in increasing vaccinations. But this analysis of the data shows it’s just the new 12-15 age group that was recently authorized that’s driving any increase.

    • Gender Traitor

      FB bans this group for posting “misleading information” in 3…2…

      • Annoyed Nomad

        They already got hit with a “misinformation that could contribute to physical harm” label from FB when they posted the daily case data from the OH Covid site. It’s now an ongoing joke when they post the latest data.

      • Annoyed Nomad

        Oh, and they purposely avoid using the words “vaccine” and “vaccination” because the FB filters will target them when they do.

      • Gender Traitor

        Called it! 😀

    • rhywun

      And because Bill Deblasio is a supernaturally lazy thinker, guess what he wants to establish in NYC.

      • limey

        Jewish ghettos? Armed checkpoints to arrest any venture capitalists trying to flee for Miami or Dallas? A public holiday in his name? Pogroms to appropriate property, businesses, and domiciles of “jew-laks” and any sufficiently unwoke bourgeousie?

        There’s a lot of things that I imagine Bill DeBlasio would like to establish.

      • Chafed

        Yes to everyone of them.

      • Nephilium

        He wants to copy Ohio? Is that allowed from the great state of New York?

      • Gender Traitor

        And copy a “Republican” governor, no less?

      • rhywun

        That’s just how lazy he is.

    • Urthona

      The cost of a lottery ticket is 2 dollars.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    The politicization of everything, ch 4,302

    Republican lawmakers and right-wing personalities are increasingly criticizing military leaders over what they say is political bias against conservatives in the armed forces and the new Pentagon leadership’s “cancel culture” and focus on being “woke.”

    For the most part, conservative critics have primarily aimed their fire at Defense Department leadership. But that’s not always the case. Former Trump aide turned right-wing radio and TV host Sebastian Gorka on Thursday launched a personal attack on an active-duty corporal featured in a new Army recruiting video discussing her childhood experience growing up with two moms.

    “You are a disgrace to what it means to serve in the military at any rank,” Gorka said on Newsmax TV of the soldier, Cpl. Emma Malonelord, calling her out by name.

    Republicans have a long history of touting their support for the armed forces, from featuring American flags and active-duty service members in campaign videos to advocating for higher defense spending in Congress. But the Pentagon’s recent diversity push has incensed conservatives, who accuse civilian and uniformed leaders of focusing on political correctness to the detriment of readiness.

    Experts said conservatives are using the policy changes as a cudgel to attack Biden.

    Experts say disagreeing with President Ballgag is treason.

    Knock it the fuck off.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      “focusing on political correctness to the detriment of readiness”: Pretty accurate so far, as Patsy Stone says.

    • rhywun

      That two-moms ad isn’t as disturbing as the one with the mentally-ill woman for the CIA or FBI or whatever it was.

      • Akira

        Yea, the woke CIA promo where the woman boasted about generalized anxiety disorder like it’s a badge of honor. That mindset is sadly common these days, and it’s only going to lead to more proclamations of mental illness and demotivate people to fix their emotional issues. And I’m not just being cold and callous; I used to have pretty bad social anxiety and missed out on a lot of life due to living like a hermit. You have to treat it like an enemy to be defeated, not like some deep and intriguing personality trait.

      • Tejicano

        The elephant in the parlor with this one is how nobody with real problems like that is going to get a security clearance so what’s the point of recruiting them?

      • Gender Traitor

        If you have an anxiety disorder, do you get an insecurity clearance?

      • EvilSheldon

        BOO!

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        ? Brava!

      • Mojeaux

        You clever minx!

      • Ownbestenemy

        Minx is such a great word

      • Tejicano

        “do you get an insecurity clearance?”

        Yes, but it’s a SECRET clearance so you don’t have to worry about anybody knowing about it.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        But the constant internal struggle makes her BRAVE!

    • leon

      Some separated and retired officers should form a society of Cincinnatus that chastises any current officer who engages in politics and any former servicemember who runs for office above mayor of a small City.

      • Gender Traitor

        …and cancels Eisenhower?

    • l0b0t

      The 2 moms ad was trite and saccharine. My problem was with the star; she claims to be a college graduate, yet is only an E-4 instead of an officer. What’s up with that nonsense? Also, the lady-infested units of ADA (Patriot, I’m looking at you) had notoriously low cutting scores and should have a lady soldier up to E-5 or E-5P after 3 years.

      • Tejicano

        The scrambled message I’m getting on this is that they are saying she is a Corporal – the rank for E-4 which you can only get in the infantry and some related MOS’s – but the cartoon shows her as a patriot missile system tech. Which is it?

      • l0b0t

        In my old unit, if one was going to be promoted up to E-5 or higher, one would receive the Spec-4 version of E-4. If one was deadwood and going nowhere, one would be given Corporal and that was it until ETS.

      • Fourscore

        In some units I was in the easiest way to make E-4 was to be an E-5.

      • Gustave Lytton

        There is no MOS restriction on corporal afaik. Just need to be an E4 serving in a leadership position. I’ve seen it for a hard charger who isn’t yet eligible for E5 or for someone as a permanent rank like l0b0t or my personal favorite, all of the platoon RTOs when we were in Kuwait so they could pick up unit mail which was limited to NCOs.

      • tripacer

        I was made a CPL when I was a recruiter, because I occupied an E7 slot. Also something about having to be an NCO to sign parental consent forms for those under 18.

      • Tejicano

        Interesting.

        I spent the majority of my military career in a “paper” unit – just a group to hold on to soldiers with certain skills with no pay and little chance to advance in rank.

        So after 16 years in service I was still an E-4 when I moved into a regular reserve unit. I tried to get my rank changed to corporal because as a grey-haired, physically fit dude wearing camouflage with that Specialist’s blob as my rank most soldiers assumed I was an O-5 and I couldn’t walk 100 meters outdoors without getting saluted.

      • LCDR_Fish

        I enlisted as an E4 with degree after college – auto spc since it was recommended that I do a tour with the MOS I wanted before applying to OCS.

        We did have an admin guy in my arty unit get a lateral promotion to cpl because he was never going to get 795 promotion points for E5 and he was a squared away dude.

        (For comparison. – at the time I needed 350 to make E5 and 450 to make E6).

    • Chafed

      On steroids

  17. The Late P Brooks

    We need to start scripting and storyboarding the narratives, finding stand-ins, shooting cutaways where we can make it look like Gorsuch just slapped Sotomayor or something. I bet we could even claw back maybe 10% our Trump-era viewership with fine journalism like this.

    Needs moar pussy-grabbing.

  18. Count Potato

    “Michelle Obama’s lead Secret Service Agent reveals the Former First Lady could go nowhere in public without racial slurs being directed against her. She was outraged, but powerless to protect her from words and signs. She could only intervene if there was a physical threat.”

    https://twitter.com/MikeSington/status/1395380177077628928

    cool story, bro

    • leon

      Most powerful woman in the world was so oppressed

      • Ownbestenemy

        Well it was probably the media that threw the slurs cause it seemed they were in great practice once Melina took the stage.

    • Trigger Hippie

      Why do think that if that actually happened it would have hit the news cycle everytime she went out in public?

      • Chafed

        Exactly

    • rhywun

      Bullshit.

      • limey

        *poetic truth

      • Gender Traitor

        “Lived experience.”

      • Nephilium

        No it isn’t. The peons dared to look her in the eyes, instead of taking a knee. The only reason they wouldn’t bow to their first lady was obviously racism.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Amazing how this racist country has bent over backwards to give her opportunities to grift (and to her brother as well, he never would have been hired without her coattails).

    • Tejicano

      My “Fed Agent to English” dictionary translated that to “Where’s my 15 minutes?”

  19. The Late P Brooks

    The latest uproar comes as Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin has focused on rooting out extremism and increasing diversity in the military, a priority of President Joe Biden’s administration. Austin’s new mandate that troops complete a diversity and inclusion training program has been a particular source of mockery, along with his previous move to end the last administration’s ban on transgender troops.

    “Most of the generals we see quoted in the press seem more committed to meeting some counterproductive diversity goal — hiring more pregnant Air Force pilots, assembling the world’s first transgender SEAL team — than on defending the United States,” Carlson said this week.

    Carlson also mocked Austin for working to tackle climate change, another top Biden priority.

    “This nation’s most formidable foe, the new secretary of Defense just announced, is the weather itself,” he said, although previous leaders have also cited climate change as a top threat.

    Pffft. All we really need is a bunch of transgender joystick jockeys with purple hair in the Nevada desert to rule the world.

    • rhywun

      previous leaders have also cited climate change as a top threat

      OFFS.

      Narrator: They were being unserious too.

    • Gender Traitor

      People are putting their pronouns in their Twitter handles??? ::facepalm, headdesk::

      • rhywun

        Stop the internet. I want off.

      • Plinker762

        Facepalm and headdesk are strange pronouns

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        ?

      • Gender Traitor

        Make at least as much sense as other “pronouns of choice” I’ve seen.

      • Tejicano

        My pronouns are The Drill Instructor/The Drill Instructor. You will address me in the third person, beginning and ending with sir, and refer to yourself as the recruit. IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?

      • Ownbestenemy

        AF instructors didnt use the leading sir and cause of movies, recruits had the hardest time not saying it which led to lots of pushups for the whole bay to engage in.

      • Tejicano

        Was that for the entire 4 day orientation course?

        /jk

      • Ownbestenemy

        It was 6 hours and some cookies really 🙂

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        “Ho no. Just plain ho.”

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Monica Lewinsky wins the internet.

    I don’t get it.

    • Trigger Hippie

      Really?

    • Mojeaux

      Did you see the emoji she put in her response? It’s hard to catch.

    • Gender Traitor

      Bill did.

      • Mojeaux

        For some definitions of “did”.

  21. westernsloper

    …..,our very own Francisco d’Anconia

    Hah…………I knew it!

  22. DrOtto

    How are those drug field tests even still allowed. They are notoriously inaccurate.

    • Ownbestenemy

      The dogs signalled that the test will be positive…duh

    • Nephilium

      You misunderstood. No reasonable prosecutor would try Hillary is what they meant to say.

  23. Mojeaux

    At the graduation ceremony for XX’s trade school. Tomorrow is her high school graduation. Yay!

    • Gender Traitor

      That’s great! So she decided to attend both? What caused her to decide not to sit them out?

      • Mojeaux

        We forced the issue. It’s 6 hours out of her life. It’s not going to kill her.

      • Gender Traitor

        A powerful motivator! 😉

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I can’t blame the classes of ’20-21 for not feeling it.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      ?? Go XX!

    • Fourscore

      Congrats to XX and also to you.Good parenting produces good results.

      • Gender Traitor

        ^!^!^!

      • Mojeaux

        Thanks, Fourscore. I can’t tell you how much I treasure you.

    • Tundra

      Great news! Enjoy!

    • Tejicano

      Good news. Finally. Good news has been thin in these parts.

      If she ever does follow up on the forklift credential and want to turn that into a GS position and an adventure just let me know.

      • Mojeaux

        Funny, I made mention of the forklift last night. Her 18th birthday is only a month and a half away and then she’ll be legal.

        What is a GS position again?

        I’ll let you know what she does. Thanks for remembering!

      • Gender Traitor

        GS position

        ….Girl Scout…?

      • Tejicano

        GS is just work with the federal government.

        If you have a forklift license and get work in that capacity in the federal government there are a lot of opportunities out there you can apply for. I have a connection with a US.gov warehouse in Yokohama. Might be interesting.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Gov position. General Schedule pay scale.

      • TARDis

        As opposed to lowly (yet well paid) WG, wage grade positions.

    • Mojeaux

      Side note: very VERY few masks here at this graduation and no social distancing

      • Gender Traitor

        ?

      • Ownbestenemy

        ???

    • Mojeaux

      And the mullet is alive and well.

      • Gender Traitor

        ?

    • Cannoli

      Congrats XX!

  24. Q Continuum

    Probability that American Jews defect from the previously cold anti-Semitic Left now that it’s gone hot?

    I’m saying 0.1%

    https://archive.li/eiJQo

    Sundress Saturday.

    • Tundra

      Festus hardest

      • Ownbestenemy

        Curiouser and courisoer…

  25. Tundra

    Good morning, Old Man!

    I’m glad you are getting out of the desert. A little heat is great, but three digits in May is off-putting.

    The fossil story is great! Definitely click the link at the end. All the good stuff is there.

    I hope you all have a groovy day!

  26. Q Continuum

    “individual justices appear to be warning that some among them cannot be trusted to tell the truth or that they hold ulterior motives”

    You mean they’re not a sainted panel of superhumans gaining insight directly from the Divine? Say it ain’t so!

    • Ownbestenemy

      At least their bickering and jabs have thought behind it and I would suspect has been part of the courts before the ink dried on that old piece of paper.

      I would take Kagen’s rhetoric over any of the old souls in Congress. She may have an opinion or view that I believe is wrong but can back it up.

      All the dead fish in Congress are just demoting fools that want money and votes so what they say is all bullshit.

  27. The Late P Brooks

    Would it be okay if we just accuse Lori Lightfoot of being stupid?

    • rhywun

      It’s okay, racist.

    • Q Continuum

      I don’t think we needed additional evidence to make that claim.

  28. rhywun

    This boy-band is weird and confusing.

    • Tundra

      What the fuck did I just read?

      Rikki Schlott is a 20-year-old college junior, studying history and politics in NYC.

      *all becomes clear*

      • mock-star

        I didnt think it was that bad. At least the author recognized what cohort was bearing the brunt of lockdowns. And Im a fan of Lenore Skenazy.

    • l0b0t

      You can’t fool me… That group photo is a publicity still of the new woke The A – Team reboot.

      • Gender Traitor

        Or the new Mod Squad?

      • l0b0t

        Samuel L. Jackson wishes he could deliver a smoldering scowl like Clarence Williams III as Linc Hayes.

      • Gender Traitor

        “I’ll SHOW you what’s in my wallet, motherf…”

      • Ownbestenemy

        If they dont have those outtakes with him then it would make me sad.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I was thinking the new Fantastic 4.

      • l0b0t

        Cue the ginger bear in the back, sassily snapping their fingers while shouting “FLAME ON!”

      • Ownbestenemy

        The fact that you nailed that one..I am assuming you could typecast the rest.

      • Tejicano

        You don’t want to know what part of his anatomy Stretch would be working on…

      • Ownbestenemy

        Lol, see in a comedic sense, the unnatural choice is the girl on the left. Written correctly, I would watch it.

      • l0b0t

        It does kinda write itself. The bald lady is Sister Fantastic, super-scientist who blends Western whiteman science with traditional esoteric knowledge that white villains can’t counter. Then there is Jenn Grimm – The Ever-Lovin’ Brown Eyed Bling. She/her is a body positive activist and jewelry designer whose creations can act as armor or dazzling weapons. Finally, Sioux Storm Duc, a First Nations/South Asian individual of MTF trans experience; a true Invisible Gurl.

      • Ownbestenemy

        While not original and would be cringy, your pitch is already more interesting than all of Hollywood. Bravo sir.

  29. Ownbestenemy

    Maybe it was because of the Air Force or because I had a maintenance badge or it was before the great shift of the services, but no one gave a flying dung about where I came from or my family drama.

    I think that is what bothers me about the recruitment ad. The ads used to be that…we dont care rich or poor, come be something in the Army or whatever.

    Now its we only want the potentially mentally ill and persons that are about themselves that demand their peers to recognize it in the Army.

    • Gustave Lytton

      It’s the opposite of every one of the Be All You Can Be ads. The Army could just rerun any one or all of them, and they’d be better than this current crap.

      On the other hand, it’s letting recruits know exactly what they’re in for if they sign up for today’s Army.

  30. westernsloper

    While I was making breakfast, chili and an egg atop a corn tortilla, I saw some foreign object in the pan during the tortilla cooking process. I idiotically dabbed my left middle finger in the pan to remove it. That move is going to hinder my bad guitar playing today and I am pissed.

    • Tulip

      Ouch.

    • Ownbestenemy

      My kids say I have no soul in the kitchen cause of moves like that. Many a fingertips slightly blistered getting things out of a pan that didnt belong.

    • Old Man With Candy

      I saw some foreign object

      Corn tortillas are foreign objects.

      • westernsloper

        You poor poor misguided soul.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I’m with western on this one.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    Unintentional coherence

    Asked how the White House is tracking vaccinations among those who attend events at the White House or press briefings, Psaki said, “That’s not the role we’re going to play.” She said the guidance from the CDC was about how people can protect themselves, and vaccinated people are protected from COVID-19, no mask needed.

    But if unvaxxed people don’t wear a mask, everyone will die!

    • Ownbestenemy

      Once the lawyers find the reasoning for tracking vaxs and they shop the right judge, that will change.

    • Tejicano

      Narrator : “In the end they all die anyway”

  32. UnCivilServant

    Finished domain/email migration. Verified that it was all working.

    Goodbye GoDaddy.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Hurray!