About The Author

Banjos

Banjos

Wife of sloopy, mother to three bright, curious, and highly active young girls. Perpetually exhausted.

443 Comments

  1. Cy Esquire

    Go away Megan. Nobody likes you and the Democrats are done fucking your dad’s corpse.

    • Nephilium

      DON’T YOU KNOW WHO SHE IS?!

      • AlexinCT

        She is someone that they now think they can use to beat a dead horse. She will be literally Hitler the moment she stands in their way of forcing a democrat crime syndicate member on the unknowing low information voters. Like they did to her stupid dad…

      • Festus

        The Admirable Admiral’s little sunshiny boy? The one that couldn’t fly straight?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I thought I heard Woodsy assert in ’18 or so that he extremely exaggerated his POW circumstances.

      • Bobarian LMD

        He is a certified Reverse Ace. Confirmed to have taken out 5 (of our own) aircraft.

      • Fourscore

        Alleged to have flown under some power lines in Italy, returned with a piece of wire draped on the tail

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        The guy who was (allegedly) horsing around and almost sunk his own carrier.

      • Festus

        Not sure if that missile story is true and can’t be arsed to look it up.

      • Fatty Bolger

        It’s not true. The missile that caused the fire wasn’t even fired from his plane, it was fired *at* his plane.

  2. AlexinCT

    Are Republicans finally wising up?

    That was a joke right? These fuckers are quite content pretending to oppose the dnc crime syndicate, but that is all it is: pretend…

    • Tonio

      given the Speaker’s shortsighted scope that does not examine interrelated forms of political violence in America…

      The old poison pill. Sure, you get to investigate the “insurrection,” but we get to investigate the BLM/AntiFa riots. Game on.

      • AlexinCT

        You want to investigate mostly peaceful protesting? YOU EVIL FUCK! At least we are demanding to look at terrorists committing horrible evil (against our power grab)!

    • Mad Scientist

      This. I’ll believe Republicans are wising up when they stop voting for con men.

  3. The Late P Brooks

    Suicide squad

    A group of House Republicans showed their uncovered faces in the chamber Tuesday in defiance of rules set out by Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) despite the recent change in federal guidance for the vaccinated.

    At one point, firebrand Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.) posted a selfie with three of her mask-free colleagues and the Twitter hashtag “#Freeyourface.”

    “Masks are oppressive and nothing but a political tool,” Greene wrote in her post. “End the oppression!”

    ——-

    The leader of this rebellion appears to be Rep. Brian Mast (R-Fla.). Politico reported Tuesday that the Army veteran interrupted a Republican conference meeting to tell his colleagues he was “done” wearing masks and would not wear them on the House floor going forward. Last week, Mast rose during a House vote and asked “that given the updated CDC guidance, we all take off these stupid masks.”

    “I’m just not gonna play her stupid game that falls somewhere between dog-and-pony show, smoke-and-mirrors, and pure manipulation,” Mast told Fox News’ “Tucker Carlson Tonight” Friday of Pelosi’s rule.

    On Tuesday afternoon, CNN producer Kristin Wilson spotted a member of the House Sergeant at Arms staff speaking with Mast as he sat on the House Floor listening to speeches. After a brief conversation, the staffer walked away.

    “I am listening to the CDC scientists,” Mast tweeted after Wilson noted the encounter. “Why isn’t [Pelosi]?”

    CNN correspondent Manu Raju identified others going without masks on the floor as Reps. Lauren Boebert (R-Colo.), Thomas Massie (R-Ky.), Mary Miller (R-Ill.), Beth Van Duyne (R-Texas), Greg Steube (R-Fla.) and Chip Roy (R-Texas).

    Those brave, noble CNN reporters, putting their lives on the line. We will someday see a monument to the selfless tattletales of the mask wars.

    • Brawndo

      “I am listening to the CDC scientists,” Mast tweeted after Wilson noted the encounter. “Why isn’t [Pelosi]?”

      Stop. Just stop. It’s stupid when Democrats do it, it’s stupid when you do it. Throw the mask off because it’s a symbol of oppression, not because the CDC overlords say it’s ok.

      • Animal

        I get that – but I also get the temptation for these GOP House members to use the old “hoist on your own petard” tactic. But yeah, I’d rather they just tell Queen Nancy “…fuck your rules, I ain’t playing.”

    • Sean

      Keepin it classy.

    • Festus

      That needs a movie treatment.

  4. Toxteth O'Grady

    London Calling is the only Clash song I find melodic. Impossible to get tired of.

    • Festus

      I’ve never liked that band but I’ve pretended to for reasons…

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Only, I said. Might be missing out on many deep tracks for all I know.

        Didn’t know the missus had dual citizenship!

      • Festus

        She’s still an American. Landed Immigrant status. She votes, pays taxes but she’s never taken the Oath even though she’s lived up here for 40 years and birthed four bonafide Canadian Citizens. Sometimes floating is better.

    • Tres Cool

      C’mon, man !

      They have a catalog of mostly garbage, but I never minded Armagideon Time.

    • Cy Esquire

      Rudy Can’t fail, Death or glory, Bankrobber, Rock the Casbah, I fought the law…

      The Cult is better. But that’s not the Clash’s fault.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Maybe I prefer the Specials?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Death of Glory

    • Spartacus

      I still like Charlie Don’t Surf.

    • Tundra

      You People.

      Stay Free

    • zwak

      The Guns of Brixton is always a favorite.

  5. Festus

    They weren’t fortifying results, they were merely massaging them, much like a really fine call-girl would do for a tired businessman’s prostrate after a long day on the road.

    • Festus

      “Prostate” Can’t get anything right.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I am too tired to find the relevant Better Off Dead clip, but here is an orange ? to chuck in my honor.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Someone will help you, I hope, if I know them at all.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        You people…

      • Rat on a train

        That will be $2.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        ?

      • Tonio

        In all fairness, the businessmen are often in a prostrate position at such moments.

      • Tres Cool

        I prefer supine. Then again, Im not much of a businessman.

    • Not Adahn

      Det. Sipowicz, is that you?

      • Festus

        “Two. Dollars!”

      • Tres Cool

        + Better Off Dead

        A most underrated movie.

      • Nephilium

        +One Crazy Summer

        Two great 80’s classics.

      • AlexinCT

        Language of love baby…

        Dinner Mondu!

      • l0b0t

        + How I Got Into College, Summer School, Say Anything

  6. The Late P Brooks

    He’s not wrong

    Modernity is impossible without widespread peaceful engagement with strangers. And such engagement is impossible without mutual trust. Yet abruptly starting 16 months ago, we were told to abandon our modern, liberal sensibilities.

    Abruptly starting 16 months ago we were warned not to trust strangers and not to engage with them commercially or socially. Abruptly starting 16 months ago, we were instructed to see strangers – indeed, to see even members of our extended families – as being chiefly carriers of death. Abruptly starting 16 months ago, we were initiated into the cult of pathogen avoidance; we were urged to behave as if avoiding a headline-grabbing virus is not only the main responsibility of each individual, but a responsibility that should be pursued at all costs.

    Abruptly starting 16 months ago, modern men and women were not only given license to revert to atavistic dread of strangers, but positively encouraged to harbor such dread and to act on it. Such atavistic attitudes and actions came all too naturally.

    Abruptly starting 16 months ago, humanity was encouraged to hold in contempt – even to censor – the relative few persons who refused to abandon liberal sensibilities.

    Abruptly starting 16 months ago, we prostrated our panicked selves before our “leaders,” begging that they use their god-like knowledge and powers (called “the Science”) to safeguard us from one particular source of illness, believed to be demonic.

    Abruptly starting 16 months ago, there quite possibly began the end of liberal civilization.

    The party of hate, fear and division has the reins. Hold on to your hats.

    • Tonio

      And don’t forget the parallel effort by the wokesters to define all white people as racists and promote critical grievance theory. They really wanted civil unrest.

      • Festus

        Who knew that our lives would turn into the preachiest Alda portions of M*A*S*H?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Dave Smith had a guy on last week who posited that the rise of woke conveniently coincided with the emergence of the Tea Party and OWS. Woke prevented any collaboration among those groups even though there was some common ground to be had.

      • Tundra

        Dave has been beating that drum for awhile now. It actually makes a lot of sense. For the first time in recent memory, both sides were hating on the correct target.

        Scary for the rulers.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’ll admit that my tinfoil collection has been growing in size as of late.

    • Pine_Tree

      Normally, curmudgeonly old me would be the first to celebrate the end of anything “modern”. But as he’s using the term here, yeah, he’s largely right.

      I’d disagree with the “began” part, though, but that’s just the way I am. I think the (broad) progressive era was really it. IMO it’s most easily tracked (and was in fact driven) through socio-theological revolution that started in the late 1800s.

      Started in Germany, embraced (see Historical-Critical method) in American mainline Protestantism, and grew into Modernism, which basically won the Fundamentalist-Modernist controversy over the last century. It was hand-in-hand with the Progressives in the political realm. Modernism (Liberalism in Christian terms, though not the same way we normally think of it in political history) was an entirely new religion, with Man at its center. Having tossed out Christianity, the State grew into the new God, and that’s where we are.

      16 months ago, and the election shenanigans, was just the mask finally coming off.

      • Festus

        I am almost in full agreement with you.

    • db

      If they’re right about this, should we expect to see more violence, and a return to older practices of carriage of weapons, and harsher punishments for crimes such as theft, or even harshness in general? Think about how these situations are presented in older literature, and historical records.

      • Pine_Tree

        Violence – yes
        Weapons – yes, but only OK for the King’s Men – everybody else will become an outlaw
        Punishments – depends on who you are

        The point is we’re moving AWAY from “a nation of laws, not men”.

  7. Rebel Scum

    AZ audit update.

    You with your conspiracy theories. Joe Biden won the cleanest and fairest election in world history and is, like, the most popular president evar.

    • AlexinCT

      And if you dare even question that assertion, mention that not looking for evidence of fraud or actually preventing anyone from looking for fraud is not proof that there was no fraud, or dare mention that for 4 years stupid people pretended Russia stole the election with a mere $100K of Facecunte adds only to now pretend that after they completely removed any ability to seriously verify voting that abuses are impossible, you will be censored and canceled. Because nothing says you are wrong like making sure you can’t question the narrative without being punished!

      • Count Potato

        To me, that’s actually the strongest argument. You don’t cut out a man’s tongue because he might lie.

    • Tres Cool

      + sksksksk
      + andioop

      • Festus

        Knowing you, those sounds have different meanings from the original intent.

      • Tonio

        Finally, something truly worthy of [le clap golf]

      • Festus

        I was hoping someone would get my lame joke. Tonio must have read underground comix!

  8. Tonio

    Despite finding a “master file table” confirming that a database directory was deleted from the server, Cotton has been able to recover the deleted files…

    Um, no. They were only ably to recover the directory because the file allocation table (FAT) still contained the info about the deleted files and directories. As many of you know, when you delete something on a computer the files are not automatically overwritten by default, simply marked as deleted. Eventually they will become unrecoverable (by normal means) as new files are added and the files system gets around to recycling that space.

    • Nephilium

      So where’s the cloth fit in?

      • Tonio

        You…

      • Pope Jimbo

        In the altar boy?

    • Tres Cool

      “As many of you know, when you delete something on a computer the files are not automatically overwritten by default, simply marked as deleted.”

      …which is why I use BleachBit

      • AlexinCT

        As Neph pointed out, you need to wipe it with a cloth….

      • robc

        7 times, back and forth.

      • Festus

        I wipe my keyboard with a cloth and bleach everyday. What? Don’t you?

    • robc

      There should be a log showing who and when the file(s) were deleted. And if there isn’t, someone was doing some intentional tampering and it wasn’t an innocent delete.

      • Tonio

        “Deleted by: Guest”

        But, yeah. One way to harden elections would be to require individual user logins, file preservation, transaction logging, etc.

      • robc

        But that is important information to know. I am sure it was a generic login, but it is still useful.

      • Count Potato

        It’s amazing they don’t do that now.

      • Tonio

        Incompetence may be used to plausibly excuse almost anything. Like, “needs more training.”

  9. The Late P Brooks

    Dark days

    “The Prevalence and Portrayal of Asian and Pacific Islanders across 1,300 Popular Films” is another report about the pervasive whiteness of the film industry that arrives in the middle of Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month and amid growing anti-Asian violence in the U.S.

    As the title states, the study by Nancy Wang Yuen, Stacy L. Smith and the USC Annenberg Inclusion Initiative analyzed 1,300 top-grossing movies to track representation of API people on both sides of the camera and among company executives from 2007 to 2019.

    The authors say what they found shows just 44 films — 3.4% — featured an API lead or co-lead performer, and only six films were led or co-led by an API woman. Breaking it down further, the group’s work reveals that of those 44 movies, 14 of them starred Johnson. That is a third of the films starring API people. Additionally, nearly 40% of the films reviewed had no API representation at all.

    Burn it all down.

    • Trigger Hippie

      ‘The authors say what they found shows just 44 films — 3.4% —’

      So, roughly the same percentage as the number of API people in the U.S., got it.

      • Nephilium

        Well, what do you expect? Jackie Chan can’t keep doing all the crazy stunt work he used he. That’s got to be a huge drop in released movies.

        And do Bollywood films count, or are they not real Asians?

      • robc

        What about Gal Gadot, does she count as asian?

      • Trigger Hippie

        Heh.

        Technically correct is the best kind of correct.

      • Trigger Hippie

        It’s a criticism of the American film industry. And in the article it claims seven percent of Americans identify as API. Not sure where they’re getting that from. The population breakdowns I’ve seen has it at around five percent or less.

        Then again, it says “identity as”, so take that with a grain of salt.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Identify…dammit.

      • Nephilium

        There were (in the before times) several theaters in my area that would get in first run Bollywood films to show. They were very popular with the local Indian population. Or are they meaning specifically Hollywood produced films? And does Dwayne Johnson still count as a Pacific Islander in their counting?

        (Come on, it’s not like I’m going to read the article. 🙂 )

      • Trigger Hippie

        It’s a Hollywood grievence, largely. And yeah, they count The Rock.

      • l0b0t

        Podunk South Florida theaters were getting Shaw Brothers’ films in the late ’70s – early ’80s and Bruce Lee has been box office gold since the ’60s. Even in a global marketplace, in which film has been since its very creation, producers tend to aim for local markets and imported product gains a mystique… who knew?

      • Rat on a train

        According to their report, Dwayne Johnson is the top API at 14. Keanu Reeves is second at 5. Chan is tied for 4th at 2.

    • rhywun

      I wonder how much graft that stupid exercise generated.

      • Trigger Hippie

        They should lobby the CCP for more API representation in film. God knows they’ve supplanted (((them))) as far as what gets made in a major studio nowadays.

    • rhywun

      “If you display one or more of these symptoms of API, consult your physician.”

    • Rat on a train

      I’ve been waiting for a Rob Schneider – Phoebe Cates romantic comedy.

      • Tres Cool

        Toss in Molly Ringwald, and Id prolly watch it.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I remember you saying had a thing for Molly. Isn’t she a little thin for your usual tastes?

      • Festus

        I have a thing for Mollie Hemingway but she’s at the top end of the scales, if you know what I mean. Chubby girls work harder.

      • Trigger Hippie

        TH likes skinny girls but he never turns down a *fatty.

        *lights up

      • Tres Cool

        Hubba Hubba

        Id gladly hand-warsh her filthy spankx.

      • Tres Cool

        Exceptions can, and have, been made.

      • Rat on a train

        Not API, so only in a supporting role.

      • Old Man With Candy

        Not a popular thing to say, but I always had something of a heater for MR.

      • Festus

        Well her tits are probably either granite castles or she resembles the old lady from the Annie Fanny comics.

    • Spartacus

      only six films were led or co-led by an API woman.

      Clearly they did not include any porn in their sample.

      • UnCivilServant

        If it’s not a hollywood blockbuster, they’re not interested in counting it.

  10. Rebel Scum

    No evidence that Wokester Reverend is a descendant of Robert E. Lee as he claimed.

    I’m sure he is at least 1/1024 Lee.

  11. Rebel Scum

    Why now?

    Lost favorability with his elite friends for some reason.

    • Not Adahn

      Probably similar to Weinstein.

    • Tres Cool

      She really takes the wrinkles out of my love-sausage.

      • Atanarjuat

        Poetry.

    • Festus

      It was very clever. Saw it yesterday.

  12. Rebel Scum

    Are Republicans finally wising up?

    Maybe. But the Dems will just Go it alone..

    “I don’t know why the Democrats are even bothering to try and make a bipartisan commission at this point. The Republicans know that many of them are potentially complicit either in not standing up when this was happening or obfuscating people who might be involved. I keep going back to the congresswoman who said at the very beginning. I’m fairly confident I saw people giving tours to folks who showed up later as insurrectionists. The Republican Party doesn’t want a real investigation. This is like the Empire saying, OK, you got the Death Star. We don’t have to do the whole investigation into Darth Vader. You can’t go forward. The country can’t go forward unless we have an investigation. I promise you, whoever was responsible for this and the people in Congress who were responsible for this will try again at some point. I think the Democrats just need to go it alone and forget about getting Republicans involved.”

    Unity, healing, etc.

    • WTF

      He can’t possibly actually believe the lies he was spewing. Which means he has made a conscious decision to lie in order to promote a political agenda, which makes him the worst kind of scum.

  13. Rebel Scum

    YEAHHH!

    Dean said, “I think the danger for Republicans are the voter suppression laws being passed in all these states. I mean, Arizona just makes the whole thing look ridiculous. Even some of the Republicans in Arizona think the Senate has become a joke out there. But their big weapon, their only weapon, is redirecting. If the election were held today, we would kick their butts because I think the public, especially well-educated suburban people are sick of this. It is not just well-educated white suburbanites. It’s well-educated suburbanites, period. They are just sick and tired of all this stuff and they actually love America, and the Republicans clearly don’t.”

    He added, “So I don’t buy for a minute we will get clobbered mid-terms. The Republicans will do their damndest with redistricting to cost us some seats. But for every seat, they pick up in a place like Texas they are losing one in New York or in Michigan. So I’m not that worried about it. I think we need to be on our toes. We need to get stuff done. Biden is doing the job that needs to be done. You know that this is a referendum on Joe Biden in the mid-terms. So far, he’s going to win that referendum.”

    With the power of Dominion Voting Systems anything is possible, I suppose.

    • rhywun

      I want whatever he’s smoking.

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t want it. It appears to cause neuological symptoms.

  14. westernsloper

    Who gave the greenlight for these negative Bill Gates stories? Why now?

    The people that matter like Melinda better so they are destroying Bill so he gets raked over the coals during the divorce.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      “All that money and she can’t get surgery.” -Edina Monsoon

  15. The Late P Brooks

    When big government proves to be a failure, the solution is to make it bigger

    The pandemic and its resulting financial turmoil have revealed a hard truth about the nation’s unemployment apparatus: It’s broken and failed to function when needed most. Politicians and labor experts warn the country isn’t heeding the lessons of the past year and worry if Washington and all 50 states don’t act, the next Big One could be just as bad.

    The solution isn’t simple and will require a coordinated, multibillion-dollar undertaking, with governors, Congress and the president working together on the biggest overhaul since the social safety net was created more than 85 years ago.

    There are frustrations over antiquated infrastructure — from computer servers built on a coding language from the late 1950s to websites that crash at the first sign of stress. Workers and politicians say the process for paying out claims is onerous, confusing and too restrictive.

    The country could have fixed these issues after the Great Recession, said Sen. Ron Wyden (D-Ore.), the chair of the Senate Finance Committee. It didn’t.

    “There was a window when you could have done reform,” Wyden said in an interview. “I am not going to let that window go by here.”

    The not-so-sexy topic of unemployment insurance system reform — the economic equivalent of replacing aging water pipes — has been quietly dominating policy conversations at every level of government and is about to break into the mainstream. With a $2 billion stimulus allocation for unemployment modernization and fraud prevention, and hundreds of billions more in federal aid raining down on states eager to spend, many are preparing to act.

    Whatever you do, don’t question the “need” for a massive intentional crash of the economy.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Not shutting down businesses en masse again might help…just a thought.

      • Nephilium

        Why do you want to kill my dead grandparents?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        How dare you, of all people, impugn dead grandparents everywhere? Oh, for shame!

    • PieInTheSky

      lose money on each item but you make it up with volume

  16. Toxteth O'Grady

    “sexy” ?

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      sorry: ?

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      The link isn’t highlighted yellow like I’d expect for bee articles, but I can’t comprehend this not being the bee.

    • PieInTheSky

      it is not propaganda if it is for the right cause

  17. The Late P Brooks

    If the election were held today, we would kick their butts because I think the public, especially well-educated suburban people are sick of this. It is not just well-educated white suburbanites. It’s well-educated suburbanites, period. They are just sick and tired of all this stuff and they actually love America, and the Republicans clearly don’t.

    Yes, yes, of course. Anybody who disagrees with you is a traitor. That’s how you build a consensus.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      What about WERSes?

    • Trigger Hippie

      I liked him and Andy Levy on Red Eye. That was the last FOX show I watched before bailing completely on the network.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I liked that show too.

  18. Rebel Scum

    Something something Russian collusion.

    The Biden administration will waive sanctions on the corporate entity and CEO overseeing the construction of Russia’s Nord Stream 2 pipeline into Germany, according to two sources briefed on the decision.

    The decision indicates the Biden administration is not willing to compromise its relationship with Germany over this pipeline, and it underscores the difficulties President Biden faces in matching actions to rhetoric on a tougher approach to Russia.

    The State Department will imminently send its mandatory 90-day report to Congress listing entities involved in Nord Stream 2 that deserve sanctions. Sources familiar with the drafting of the report tell Axios the State Department plans to call for sanctions against a handful of Russian ships. …

    As Axios has previously reported, the completion of Nord Stream 2 would be a huge geopolitical win for Putin and give him substantial new leverage in Europe.

    But we had to cancel the Keystone pipeline project because reasons.

    • Trigger Hippie

      NIMBY!!!

      • rhywun

        SACRED LAND OF MY ANCESTORS!

  19. Tundra

    Good morning, Banjos!

    I love that song. I read once that it was also Mick Jones’s favorite of all the Clash songs. Good enough for Mick, good enough for me.

    The Bill Gates thing is really interesting. Just a month ago he was revered as some kind of oracle. The media giveth and the media taketh away, I guess.

    It doesn’t matter, either way. He’s a fuckhead of the highest order.

    I hope you all have a wonderful, Bill Gates-free day.

    • Nephilium

      /looks at the amount of Windows servers he has to support.

      That last part ain’t happening.

    • pistoffnick

      “…a wonderful, Bill Gates-free day.”

      Yet another Windows update? Didn’t I do this just last week?

  20. Rebel Scum

    I guess there is no reason for any sane person to patronize your establishment.

    It’s been more than one month since Bar Max off Colfax Avenue in Denver has required proof of COVID-19 vaccination for patrons to go inside. Now, in accordance with state and CDC guidelines, people can also go in without a mask as long as they provide proof.

    “They can feel that relief and that enjoyment,” said Bar Max Owner, Marshall Smith. “When customers are here with everyone vaccinated, they don’t have to socially distance, they don’t have wear masks, they don’t have to worry about it. It’s still peace of mind and comfort.”

  21. Trigger Hippie

    OT: So, it’s my birthday. Please continue a tradition I started on TOS and insult me. Last year’s winner was hayeksplosives. She absolutely eviscerated me, much to my approval.

    P.S. Don’t tell me j/k or happy birthday after the insult, it’s funnier that way.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills.

      I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.

      You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands.

      Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue.

      But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it.

      You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Shit, I bet you can’t copy pasta right either!

        *EDIT FAIRY HALP!*

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Yay! Thanks, edit fairy!

        Does the Edit Fairy leave a bottle of white-out under your pillow?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Now do the one about they all want birthday cake.

    • Swiss Servator

      I WOULDN’T WASTE THE PIXELS!

    • db

      Look at Mr. Needy over here.

    • Old Man With Candy

      If my dog had a face like yours, I’d shave her ass and teach her to walk backwards.

    • Tres Cool

      I’ve seen you. You look like the result of an un-holy biological union between Brooke Shields and Groucho Marx.

    • PieInTheSky

      Your personality is enough of an insult

    • Pope Jimbo

      Why did TOS get to keep Shriek and we got you?

      • Rat on a train

        Trigger Hippie is worse than a Hihnfection.

    • Rat on a train

      I don’t know you. All I can say is I hate hippies. Don’t make me break out the Slayer CD.

    • Tonio

      Your aim is bad, your grouping looks like you have a neurological disorder, and you shoot a lame caliber.

    • Sean

      I hope Demi Rose stops by your house and sits on your face.

      Wait, I might not be doing this right…

      ?

    • UnCivilServant

      You’re not the boss of me.

    • Old Man With Candy

      What does Trigger Hippie use for contraception?

      His personality.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Ha!…Hey, no double-dipping.

    • TARDis

      Do you have a link to last year’s evisceration?

      Also, TH is so awful, Hunter Biden won’t let him be his wing-man anymore.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I didn’t save the link but basically she pointed out that me no spek so gud in a most brutal fashion…I loved it.

    • CPRM

      The Hat thinks you’re a druggy (and that you don’t share) and the Hair thinks you’re a lazy slacker! STOP THE VOICES IN MY HEAD!

    • Count Potato

      Get a hair cut, white boy!

    • Timeloose

      What’s that smell? It’s like a wet donkey tripped over a troth of patchouli in a field of pig shit. Oh sorry Trigger Hippie I did see you come in.

    • WTF

      Hi. This is Wilford Brimley. Welcome to Retardation: A Celebration. Now, hopefully with this book, I’m gonna dispel a few myths, a few rumors. First off, the Trigger Hippie don’t rule the night. He don’t rule it. Nobody does. And Trigger Hippe don’t run in packs. And while he may not be as strong as an ape, don’t lock eyes with him, don’t do it. Puts him on edge. He might go into berzerker mode; come at you like a whirling dervish, all fists and elbows. You might be screaming “No, no, no” and all he hears is “Who wants cake?” Let me tell you something: They all do. All the retard Trigger Hippies want cake.

      • AlexinCT

        ^^^THIS^^^

    • DEG

      You always bring those negative waves.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Quack quack quack

    Anthony Fauci, the nation’s leading infectious disease expert, said in a new interview that some Americans do not have a full understanding of the latest guidelines put forth by the federal government relative to mask wearing and coronavirus vaccines.

    “I think people are misinterpreting, thinking that this is a removal of a mask mandate for everyone. It’s not,” Fauci told Axios on Wednesday. “It’s an assurance to those who are vaccinated that they can feel safe, be they outdoors or indoors.”

    Fauci said it’s not people’s “fault” if they don’t understand the new guidance, because, in many cases, people “either read them quickly, or listen and hear half of it.”

    Some members of the public are incorrectly under the assumption, Fauci said, “that we’re saying: ‘You don’t need the mask anymore.'”

    Thy would never say such a thing. That would imply freedom and self ownership.

    • Tundra

      Fuck off, slaver.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      Anthony Fauci, the nation’s leading infectious disease expert

      TMITE

      • UnCivilServant

        Anthony Fauci, the nation’s leading infectious disease expert

        FIFT

    • rhywun

      Come at me, bro.

      /Not that the vast majority of public spaces where I live are going to allow freedom any time soon but still

      • Nephilium

        The stores here have started backpedaling quickly. Giant Eagle (grocery store chain, large one in the area based out of Pittsburgh) just announced they were removing the mask mandates for vaccinated customers and workers just a couple days after saying they would keep the mask mandates in place. The new rules are taking effect on May 24th.

      • db

        I haven’t heard that Giant Eagle will be doing this in PA yet, but a quick check shows they will indeed. Thankfully. Where I live the only grocery stores in easy driving range are Giant Eagle and Aldi.

    • db

      Anthony Fauci, the nation’s leading infectious disease expert,

      I wonder if that grates, even a little bit, on the people on the leading edges of research on the topic.

      • Old Man With Candy

        It is a phrase guaranteed to get SP red in the face and throwing objects in absolute fury.

      • db

        *notes taken for next Zoom meeting*

      • Tres Cool

        Ok, Tony. Now do chlamydia, and the instances of deaths from cervical cancer.

      • db

        This strikes fairly close. Partly because the CDC and others have deprioritized research into treatment of cervical cancers due to the success and availability of the HPV vaccine, I’ve lost a close member of my family who could possibly have been helped with newer treatments if they had been developed.

      • db

        NIH, not CDC

    • Rebel Scum

      the nation’s leading infectious disease expert

      But is he?

      an assurance to those who are vaccinated that they can feel safe

      You are free to feel how ever you want but I am not wearing a shame muzzle.

      You don’t need the mask anymore.

      I never did.

      • juris imprudent

        All the best experts work in government! They’ll even tell you if you doubt that.

    • Tonio

      Complete bullshit, of course. He knows exactly what’s going on. But the little shitweasel is pretending to take the moral high ground, knowing that his Karen army will do the shrill hectoring he wishes he could get away with.

  23. Rebel Scum

    Muh DEMocracy.

    Now if you were to have 16 year olds vote, what would that do? That would transform every high school in New York City in a hotbed of democracy because instead of being hypothetical, all of a sudden every junior and senior would actually be able to vote in city elections. Instead of being hypothetical, their teachers could talk to them about the real issues, and what the candidates stand for, and have them vote then and there. And studies have shown that the earlier you are the first time you cast a vote, the more likely you are to become a voter throughout your lifetime. So if we invest in young people at age 16 and 17, then we are going to be strengthening our democracy in a very very significant way.

    Yes, let the generation of Tik Tok ‘Tards vote. Nothing could go wrong.

    We can enable green card holders, lawful permanent residents, to be able to vote. And I’m so thrilled that Carlos and Margaret Chin, who is another city council member who’s endorsed me, have put forward “Our City, Our Vote” bill that would enable this to happen. … We should enable lawful permanent residents to vote. This is their city, too. So young people, non-citizens, we have to invest in the mechanics of our democracy at a higher level.

    While we are at it we should let all manner of foreign nationals vote in American elections. It is affront to democracy to not allow the whole of the worlds population to vote.

    • PieInTheSky

      Now do 8 year olds.

      Also do these people not see an issue with political propaganda in government schools? off course they don’t… they have no principles except power.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      Sometimes I wonder if I am responsible enough to be trusted with the franchise now. At age sixteen, I probably shouldn’t have been trusted with sharp objects, let alone the vote.

    • rhywun

      Because if there is one thing missing from the high school experience, it’s propagandizing children to vote for Democrats. I mean, they already do it for their parents. It’s just common sense.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      “a hotbed of democracy”

      I’ll pass. Thanks.

    • db

      Instead of being hypothetical, their teachers could talk to them about the real issues, and what the candidates stand for, and have them vote then and there.

      What could possibly go wrong?

    • l0b0t

      Dear NYC, can we at least wait to have this discussion until after the schools have managed to attain competency at their (ostensible) primary function and are churning out Knickerbockers that read, write, and do basic arithmetic?

      • CPRM

        Read?! What, the capitalist white man’s propaganda?! Write?! That’s RACISCT! Arithmetic?! That’s SEXIST AND RACIST! You fucking white supremacist piece of shit!

  24. Mojeaux

    Good morning, banjos! Good morning, ladies and gents. Today I awaken to a car wih non-crunched doors and full payment on a large payable that was getting long in the tooth.

    It is Trigger Hippie’s bday but no insults as I am not good at that, especially without provocation. So happy birthday, fellow Taurean.

    Tuesday held no disasters (as they usually do) and today is Wednesday, which are usually pretty good. I jave work to accomplish, a roof over my head, food in the fridge, and my bills are paid. Everyone at chez Mojeaux is chill.

    I may go buy art supplies I don’t need.

    Have a good day, you merry band of miscreants.

    • Swiss Servator

      “I may go buy art supplies I don’t need.”

      Woah, woah…slow down there!

      • PieInTheSky

        Is that what the kids call MDMA these days?

      • Mojeaux

        SHHHHHHH!!!

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yeah, those are a real lux-art-y.

    • Tundra

      Woohoo!

      I’ll just say Happy Birthday to TH here, as well. I can chirp with the best of them, but like you it’s tough when they don’t come at you first!

      • Trigger Hippie

        Slap Shot sucked.

      • WTF

        Youse fargin’ icehole! Youse stinkina bastige!
        My dog licking a dead groundhog’s ass has better taste than you!

    • Gender Traitor

      ::mentally pictures seldom-visited “studio” corner of personal sanctuary at Chez GT/TT, complete with easel, multiple drawing pads, and various drawing & painting media:: I’d offer you some of mine, but… I’m going to use it!

      One of these days…

      • db

        *glances over at guitar and amplifier gathering dust*

      • Gender Traitor

        And Happy Birthday, TH!! ???

      • Mojeaux

        Girl, take a class! Make yourself accountable! I don’t feel like I can get where I want to go artistically by myself. Spending time practicing without a reason seems frivolous and I don’t feel like I’m accomplishing anything. Hence, the classes. Give yourself a reason to use them!

      • Gender Traitor

        ::checks local CC’s site:: Hmmm… Looks like I just missed the start of summer term, but I should have any number of options for Fall.

        Maybe even that Novel Writing class I’ve long wanted to take. Mid-afternoon 2x/wk, but goodness knows I have plenty of Vacation hours… (To round out my study in THAT interest before diving back into another.)

      • UnCivilServant

        Get something written and I’ll give you my two cents worth on it.

      • Gender Traitor

        ?✍️

      • Mojeaux

        You’re a good writer and *ahem* I’m still waiting for the continuation of the last story you started.

      • Gender Traitor

        Yeah, there IS a fair amount more than you’ve seen. I’ll have to take another look and see if I consider it presentable.

    • Tonio

      Congrats, Mojeaux!

    • db

      Glad to hear you saved the Zippicar

    • Mojeaux

      payable receivable

    • DEG

      Excellent!

    • AlexinCT

      DA FUQ??

    • PieInTheSky

      what does IB mean?

      • Tundra

        Incompetent Blowhard.

        Also Irritable Bowel.

        Both work for our governor.

  25. Count Potato

    “The House of Representatives overwhelmingly passed the COVID-19 Hate Crimes Act Tuesday, clearing Congress with bipartisan support.

    The bill, which was introduced by New York Democratic Rep. Grace Meng and Hawaii Democratic Sen. Mazie Hirono, passed 364 to 62, above the two-thirds majority required. It passed the Senate 92-6 in April, and now heads to President Joe Biden’s desk to be signed into law.

    The bill directs the Department of Justice to accelerate its reviews of reported COVID-related hate crimes, and improves the ways to report them to local governments online. It also includes state and local grants to help improve hate crime reporting, a bipartisan provision that was added by Connecticut Democratic Sen. Richard Blumenthal and Kansas Republican Sen. Jerry Moran.

    “The COVID-19 Hate Crimes Act is a necessary step to confront the second pandemic of racism and discrimination,” Meng said on the House floor Tuesday before the vote. “We cannot mend what we do not measure.”

    The bill’s passage through Congress follows a rise in violence against Asian Americans nationwide. Multiple violent attacks have been reported in recent weeks alone, and in March a shooter killed eight people in an Atlanta massage parlor, six of whom were Asian women.”

    https://dailycaller.com/2021/05/18/house-passes-covid-19-hate-crimes-act-grace-meng-mazie-hirono/

    So more spending that has nothing to do with covid.

    • Rat on a train

      Hate crimes with COVID? At least one person involved would probably test positive.

    • db

      WTF is a COVID related hate crime? Refusing service to people who don’t show their vaccination record on demand?

      • rhywun

        Guessing it’s our national hatred of Asians and it’s finally, FINALLY, being addressed here.

      • UnCivilServant

        A cure for the yellow fever?

      • rhywun

        Now you’re just being ridiculous.

      • CPRM

        More cowbell gong?

      • UnCivilServant

        That reminds me, whatever happened to Lao Che? And why did he want the Urn of Nurhachi so badly?

      • CPRM

        I’m sure Disney will be giving us a ‘Solo’ type film about it at some point. He probably needed to use ancient Chinese White Man magic because he was slighted by a bipoc non-binary who was much more talented at everything than him.

      • Rat on a train

        I had to get a vaccine for that in the Army. It didn’t take.

    • Urthona

      It actually does very little.

      The insider thinking is Democrats were trying to get Republicans to block this “generally popular” seeming bill so they’d have an excuse to lift the filibuster,

      Republicans, surprisingly, picked up on the trap.

      Don’t get me wrong. It’s a waste of both time and money. But it’s nothing like what they actually want to pass down the road.

    • Rebel Scum

      So Democrats want to put more black people in prison?

      • Urthona

        Pretty much every law they pass does.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I hear “Hirono” and all I can think is “functionally retarded”

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      Sen. Mazie Hirono

      See, that’s your problem right there.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Ayup. She recently caused a bunch of annoying work for me by making some stupid comments.

    • PieInTheSky

      I mean does Canada really have a right to exist?

      I still say that if the US took over Canada and Mexico in the 1800 the land borders would be easier to secure. Might as well have gone to Panama and build the wall along side the canal

      • UnCivilServant

        Look, Pie, we invaded Canada twice (or thrice) and it didn’t stick. Now it’s infested with the kind of stupid we’re still fighting against here.

        Mexico is too hot for people to live in. That’s why so many keep trying to get into the cooler US. Just ask the climate ‘experts’.

      • Urthona

        lol. I live in Texas which is much hotter on average than Mexico, so I’m wondering why they keep coming here.

      • Urthona

        I mean the Iroquois stole their land in the first place from the previous owners, so it was only right that European settlers “requisitioned” it.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m reminded of the time where they found one of the oldest skeletons ever discovered in the Americas. While the various tribes who had claimed to have always been there bickered over whose he was, the scientists did a facial reconstruction on the skull and it came out looking like Patrick Stewart, as the guy was more Solutrean than Beringian.

      • Urthona

        Is this a Mormon teaching?

      • UnCivilServant

        No.

        Kennewick man did have descendants that stayed in the local native population, and was a real dude.

      • Urthona

        I was kidding, but interesting. I vaguely remember this.

      • UnCivilServant

        Personally, having heard arguments, I think that the evidence indicates that the single migration theory is bunk.

        The ephemeral nature of early boats along with the outright loss of the LGM coastline to the rising sea levels means any migration along the edge of the ice pack by maritime hunters/fishers would be hard to confirm or deny. But the technological evidence among the Beringian stone tools doesn’t support those techniques as being the precursor to Clovis. The technological evidence indicates at least one settlement from the east introducing Solutrean techniques to the continent.

        Who arrived first may never be determined, simply because of the sea levels and the fact that stone age peoples don’t leave as much evidence behind of their existance.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m guessing this dipshit doesn’t know just how white Argentina is.

      • Urthona

        Did she just say I’m a gay?

  26. db

    Hey, Trigger Hippie, Happy Birthday!

    For some reason when I see your name, I always think of This Machine.

    • Trigger Hippie

      We have a commenter here named This Machine, don’t we?

  27. Pope Jimbo

    I think the Climatistas just realized that their dream of an all electric car Utopia won’t work with Gate’s plan to stop Global Warming by spreading dust in the atmosphere to dim the planet.

    They also know that between Gates and their “scientists” the one plan with a chance of actually being implemented is Gate’s.

    • PieInTheSky

      That Gate sure is a bastard…

      Now I am sure billy boy did a lot of shit in his time, and I am also sure it didn’t matter if someone did not decide he outlived his usefulness.

      That being said off course the Climate agenda has naught to do with the climate, and also spreading dust in the atmosphere to dim the planet is insanely stupid

      • prolefeed

        Gates: “Let’s imitate the aftereffects of the big comet slamming into the earth 65 million years ago, causing a mass extinction event, to try to preempt a posited mass extinction event! What could go wrong?”

      • db

        He ought to go full Lex Luthor and set off a nuke inside a major volcanic vent to cause a mega eruption.

  28. Rebel Scum

    I guess I am going to have to keep paying $4+ for premium for the foreseeable future.

    The communications system used by shippers on the Colonial Pipeline, which transports more than 100 million gallons of fuel per day, nearly half of the East Coast’s supply, was knocked offline for a few hours before being restored mid-afternoon Tuesday.

    “Our internal server that runs our nomination system experienced intermittent disruptions this morning due to some of the hardening efforts that are ongoing and part of our restoration process. These issues were not related to the ransomware or any type of reinfection,” read a statement to FOX Business from a company spokesperson.

    It continued: “We are working diligently to bring our nomination system back online and will continue to keep our shippers updated. The Colonial Pipeline system continues to deliver refined products as nominated by our shippers.”

    • AlexinCT

      No you wont…

      It will be close to $8 bucks sooner than later, making the lefties all happy that they can punish people that own vehicles that actually need to go places.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Drug-addicted attention whore seeks attention and sympathy, film at eleven.

      • KSuellington

        Especially since she has chubbed up quite a bit lately. She is now approaching Tres worthy.

    • Urthona

      She’s half Lovato, but what’s the other half?

      • Pope Jimbo

        Some sort of arabic/spanish mix? A moop?

    • Certified Public Asshat

      She’s bipolar and schizo, but sure this is healthy.

    • rhywun

      Who?

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Who are they?

    • PieInTheSky

      Are album sales sluggish?

    • Animal

      The correct answer is “who gives a shit?”

  29. Count Potato

    “Facebook has shut down a pro-Israel page with over 75 million followers, amid the worst conflict in the Gaza strip in years.

    The ‘Jerusalem Prayer Team’ page, which was established in 2002 and was the largest Christian Facebook page, was shut down by the platform on Friday.

    Dr. Mike Evans, the page’s founder, claimed that critics of the page posted ‘more than a million’ comments and then denied doing so, flagging their own posts as spam.

    Speaking to the Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN), Evans claimed there was ‘an organized attempt by radical Islamic organizations to achieve this objective.’

    ‘They posted over a million comments on our site, and then had the people contact Facebook saying that they never posted to the site. That was a complete scam and fraud. It was a very clever, deceptive plan by Islamic radicals.’

    He also added that the posts had included anti-Semitic comments, such as photos and quotes by Adolf Hitler, which may have triggered Facebook’s filters.

    A spokesperson for the social media giant said: ‘We removed Jerusalem Prayer Team’s Facebook Page for violating our rules against spam and inauthentic behavior,’ with the company also saying the case was ‘complete’.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9595267/Facebook-shuts-pro-Israel-page-77-million-followers.html

    Inauthentic behavior?

    • PieInTheSky

      I mean all Christian pages should be removed as all religion is fake news. Except Islam off course.

      • Rat on a train

        Sunni, Shia or other?

      • PieInTheSky

        They are all brothers are they not?

    • Gustave Lytton

      inauthentic behavior

      Like being religious or praying?

    • wdalasio

      Facebook’s own moderation activities would, logically, qualify them as “misinformation” by their own standards. There’s only one moral resolution. Facebook needs to ban Facebook from Facebook.

    • Urthona

      A state that literally murders homosexuals and seeks to keep women as slaves.

      Also, if you don’t support BLM you’re racist.

    • juris imprudent

      It’s early and if you dig around in enough shit you’ll likely find worse.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Everybody knows that the State will wither away after we’ve given it total control over our lives.

      This is commie 101 man, get with the program.

    • Trigger Hippie

      Keith Foecke?⚔️?☭
      @FoeckeKeith
      ·
      20h
      Replying to
      @ColdEmpanadas
      Actually, IMHO, it was a management problem. Resources were not properly allocated.

      They just didn’t have the right TOP MEN.

  30. The Late P Brooks

    Today I awaken to a car wih non-crunched doors and full payment on a large payable that was getting long in the tooth.

    *toots horn, throws confetti*

  31. prolefeed

    Dunno if anyone linked it yet, but Texas governor Abbott issued an EO yesterday prohibiting any city, county, or other local officials from having a mask mandates, with a few exceptions for medical facilities.

    Not a fan of EOs, but if they undo other unconstitutional EOs, I’ll take it.

    My wife was not pleased. Hopefully soon she’ll be the weirdo outlier, not me.

    • PieInTheSky

      Do you need a mask when you sleep on the couch?

      • Mojeaux

        LOL

      • Sean

        *golf clap*

      • Pope Jimbo

        Nope, his wife will just cover his face with a pillow after he falls asleep

      • prolefeed

        Don’t be dissing our Hate Fucking role play sex.

    • UnCivilServant

      Didn’t he also somehow magic up the authority to levy a $1000 fine on officials attempting to enforce a mandate?

      • Urthona

        Yes.

        Because reasons.

    • Urthona

      I mean my initial thought was “counties should just be able to do whatever they want”.

      But my other thought was “haha… fuck masks”. So….

      I really cannot handle my kids having to wear masks all day at school right now. It is ridiculous.

      • prolefeed

        Should counties also get to void the 2nd amendment and BoR in general?

      • Urthona

        No one gets to void constitutional amendments and after that it’s a declining scale of concern.

      • R C Dean

        County and city governments derive their authority from the state government. So I don’t have a problem, in theory, with the state putting limits on what they can do.

        We generally applaud state laws prohibiting localities from passing gun control, after all.

        Now, the governor doing it sua sponte is a different issue. At the state level, its not clear (and I mean not clear) the extent to which a governor can limit the derivative/subsidiary power of city and county governments,

      • DEG

        I guess non-Dillon’s rule states could change their constitution/laws to impose Dillon’s rule.

    • Swiss Servator

      It’s magical legislating and signalling all around.

    • Urthona

      Yeah. That’s been debunked for decades. And it was not even reproducible. It’s an excellent example of how one really terrible study can permeate culture if it’s interesting-seeming enough.

      • db

        All it takes is one researcher to pad the data.

      • Old Man With Candy

        Hey, Swiss, you’re needed ova here.

      • db

        We really come down hard on Swiss about being the pun police, but I think we should thank him for his cervix.

      • TARDis

        Well, we keep pulling his string.

      • db

        Wow, we got him to pull out the Squint Eastwood!

      • TARDis

        In this case, it could be Squint Yeastwood.

      • db

        ‘Sneer enough.

      • Swiss Servator

        “And it was not even reproducible.”

        Heh.

      • Urthona

        Oh you.

    • Pope Jimbo

      They do sync with their real friends. The problem with this study is that the women all lied about who their friends were.

  32. Festus

    Signing out. Shepherd’s Pie this morning. Get your minds out of the gutter!

    • PieInTheSky

      Does the shepar4d know you stole it?

      • TARDis

        No, but he’s going to drive it like he does anyway.

  33. Scruffy Nerfherder

    SJWednesday: You Must Listen To And Obey Us, But Do Not Ask Questions

    As I became more actively involved in diversity and inclusion work, eventually starting my own diversity and inclusion practice, this behavior intensified. When the Black Lives Matter movement garnered global attention to the ongoing injustices perpetrated against Black people, I began receiving calls from my networks around the world asking me to speak at company webinars, join a committee, or provide quick advice on various D&I matters with no offer of compensation for my labor.

    Black, Indigenous and other people of color are not your free diversity resources. There appears to be an unspoken consensus that we need to help educate others on tolerance, diversity, cultural practices, and much more simply because the spread of this knowledge will somehow help us and our quality of life in relation to others. We are, in effect, being asked to perform the labor to help ourselves, thereby absolving dominant groups from doing the work to unravel bias and prejudice, which, in many cases, they are responsible for perpetuating.

    We are not your parents, teachers or Google. It is not fair to expect us to carry the responsibility for solving problems that are more significant systemic issues.

    • db

      They will not enact your labor for you.

    • Gustave Lytton

      “I tried to make a buck off phony bullshit and it turns out my targets treat it like phony bullshit too”

    • juris imprudent

      It is not fair to expect us to carry the responsibility for solving problems…

      Then what are you getting paid for? Entertainment?

      • wdalasio

        You’re supposed to pay them regardless of whether they solve your problems for you!! What a sign of toxic whiteness to think that compensating POC and their allies for the monstrosities inflicted upon them by whiteness should carry some benefit to you.

      • juris imprudent

        Entertainment it is!

    • Q Continuum

      “ongoing injustices perpetrated against Black people”

      Outside of minority family structure being rekt by government assistance and black-on-black crime, I’d really love to see an explicit listing of these injustices and affect black people deliberately and disproportionately. Because most of the examples I hear are just a subset of “everybody gets screwed over” and have nothing to do with racism.

      • Trigger Hippie

        ‘I’d really love to see an explicit listing of these injustices and affect black people deliberately and disproportionately.’

        Deliberately trying to raise the cost of fuel, energy and food?

  34. PieInTheSky

    Today in weird YouTube recommends

    Complete Guide on How To Butcher a Deer at Your House

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3OaFdP3psc

    I do not have a deer nor would I butcher it at my house

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      But would you have it with a fox? Or in a box?

    • UnCivilServant

      That is sad. You need to go out and shoot a deer.

      Venison is great.

      • PieInTheSky

        go out and shoot a deer – how very barbaric

      • UnCivilServant

        Indeed.

        Rise above the degenerate ‘civilized’ folk. Be better.

      • PieInTheSky

        Let me guess you killed your first deer with a knife you forged yourself

      • UnCivilServant

        Not yet.

        I’m stuck in ‘civilized’ lands. Those damn whitetailed rats are brazen enough to get within five paces without running because the people areound here are forbidden from offing them.

      • Tulip

        I have a neighbor that bow hunts. A couple years ago, while walking the dog, I came around the corner and discovered a deer head on the sidewalk. You see, he does his butchering in the back yard. It was cold, so he left the hide and head in the yard and some animal (probably coyote) found and dragged it off.

    • db

      You may find this to be of interest.

      • PieInTheSky

        squirrels are present in the park but are hard to catch.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Deer or Dear?

      • PieInTheSky

        I have neither but the youtube is about hoofed ruminant mammals forming the family Cervidae

      • UnCivilServant

        Tanslation for Jimbo – It’s the Bearded Butchers processing a whitetail.

    • Animal

      We have no deer hereabouts but I do have plenty of room to butcher a moose, which I’m sure will happen in due course.

      • PieInTheSky

        You have the room but do you have the skill?

        Also leave the poor moses alone they aint hurtin no one

      • Animal

        I have butchered somewhere around forty or fifty head of various big game in my life, so, yeah. And no, I won’t leave the “poor mooses” alone, they’re far too delicious, and there’s nothing poor about them.

      • PieInTheSky

        I realized I did not google willow, ak weather since the last post. Hmmm seems reasonable though a bit cold in the morning. You won’t be raising good tomatoes outside a greenhouse there.

      • Animal

        Fortunately we have just such a greenhouse.

  35. DEG

    Mark McCloskey, a St. Louis attorney known for being one half of the husband and wife gun-wielding duo that protected their property from a Black Lives Matter protest last summer, announced he will run for U.S. Senate on the agenda that people are “tired of cancel culture, and the poison of critical race theory and the big lie of systemic racism.”

    Interesting. Didn’t they donate to BLM at one point?
    /digs
    Ahhh, no. They expressed, through their lawyer, some support for BLM, but gave no money to them.
    Mea Culpa.

    • Urthona

      Basically someone saw their last name on the donor list, but it turned out to be a different McCloskey. Apparently, in an effort to achieve world dominance the McCloskey clan has spread far and wide.

  36. DEG

    NEw Kickstarter from Headstamp Publishing

    Headstamp Publishing is excited to announce the third in our flagship series of books, Pistols of the Warlords: Chinese Domestic Handguns, 1911 – 1949, authored by Ian McCollum. We are offering several beautiful editions, as well as Kickstarter-exclusive rewards. We will also be giving backers exclusive access to behind-the-scenes content, and we have set several stretch goals which will help us to make quality and content improvements to the book.

    • Tejicano

      I am very likely to be purchasing this book. A very detailed presentation of a large number of pistols produced by a huge collection of people with a wide range of various abilities in China from 1911 to 1945. The actual origins are mostly lost to history but the artifacts remain.

      Some of these guns were manufactured in some quantities in Chinese factories but many were obviously fabricated by hand. Some of them were adorned with close fakes of European firearms names and marking – and some with random sprinkles of gibberish. Some of these pistols would function as well as anything purchased directly from the European source and some, well, were as dangerous to the person pointing it as the one it was pointed at.

      • l0b0t

        I’ve seen a couple Forgotten Weapons videos about these firearms and Ian seems to get almost as gleeful as he does when discussing French military rifles. It’s a thoroughly fascinating subject (IIRC, one pistol highlighted utilized a blow-forward action); written with, I imagine, a great deal of passion. G/d bless him for finding his niche.

  37. DEG

    Latest PA primary results: approximately 54/46 yes/no on the questions to rein in Wolf. About 73% of precincts reporting. Let’s see what happens over the course of the day.

    • CPRM

      They’ll stop counting votes and get you the correct results next week.

      • db

        They already stopped last night.

      • rhywun

        Did the already count any trucks that might have arrived in the middle of the night?

      • Q Continuum

        I guess this is just the way we do things now eh? And asking questions about election integrity is of course, I’m guessing, racist.

      • juris imprudent

        Look pick a narrative and stick to it. Fight to the bloody end for it. That’s what really matters.

    • Swiss Servator

      “A …pipe has broken. You need to leave the building.”

  38. Pope Jimbo

    Wrongthinker of the year captured on video defacing George Floyd Square.

    The surveillance video showed a man arriving in a pickup truck and striding toward the square, where he tore down signs and threw items out of a shed.

    He then retrieved an ax from his pickup bed and took several whacks at the brightly colored shed before a square caretaker shouted at him to leave.

    The man drove off but left the ax — and presumably, his fingerprints — behind.

    I would love to hear the response from the police when the yahoos down there demand they come down and dust for those fingerprints. “Um, this axe is down in the area where you’ve refused to let us investigate shootings? Yeah, I don’t think we are going to be coming there”

    • R C Dean

      “Could be anybody’s fingerprints on it by now. Its been laying out in public for hours. No point in dusting it, really. Sorry.”

      • l0b0t

        + 1 OJ Simpson knife.

    • prolefeed

      I see TheChive has done away with numbering, but at least one apparent Real Doll on a balcony overlooking the sea.

  39. Q Continuum

    Who has more influence over the bored housewife demographic: Joy Behar or the next-door neighbor she fucks while her husband is at work?

    • PieInTheSky

      Is the neighbor well hung?

  40. PieInTheSky

    That is indeed the main attraction of Marxism: It gives people the illusion that they’ve found what the Krauts call the “Weltformel”, the one unifying theory of everything.
    Absolutely everything suddenly seems to fall into place. It’s just sophistry, of course. But it’s powerful.

    https://twitter.com/K_Niemietz/status/1394271587738783750

    • Q Continuum

      Your senses tell you the world is flat. It’s not.

      Your feelings tell you communism works. It doesn’t.

      • CPRM

        Now, my feet are mostly numb, which means I’ve lost some sense, but it has pointed out how unflat the earth is, lots of bumps that fuck with your equilibrium if you can’t feel them.

    • UnCivilServant

      Marxism appeals to two baser traits of humanity – envy and sloth.

      These two traits also describe much of Karl’s own life.

      • PieInTheSky

        there also is some inherent collectivism/tribalism in people beyond envy and sloth

    • prolefeed

      Now do the NAP.

      The socialists are wrong, of course, except in the tiniest form of society – families. It’s not that socialism can’t work sometimes, it’s that it doesn’t scale worth shite.

      • Pine_Tree

        It’s not even just scale.

        The members of the family are neither equal to nor independent from one another. Society’s not just a “larger” family; it’s a completely different set of relationships.

      • Akira

        It’s not that socialism can’t work sometimes, it’s that it doesn’t scale worth shite.

        Socialist-like arrangements can work if two conditions are met:
        – You have a small group whose members are all bound together by some common identity or attribute
        – There is a means of expelling loafers and bums

        Even a small nation-state is too large for anything like that to be realistic. Hell, communes of ~50 people run into problems when every single person starts to think that everyone else should do the work while they lounge around and read postmodern philosophy all day.

        People cite groups like Native Americans and the Amish as examples of “socialism working”. There’s the obvious rebuttal that those groups do have various forms of private property, mutual exchange, and even currency. But there’s also the fact that they don’t tolerate an “unwilling to work” mentality. In some primitive societies, the disabled and elderly are simply killed off.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        People cite groups like Native Americans and the Amish as examples of “socialism working”. There’s the obvious rebuttal that those groups do have various forms of private property, mutual exchange, and even currency.

        Such sophistry drives me nuts. Socialism isn’t an umbrella term for any social interaction that doesn’t involve arm’s length negotiation between strangers. And, while we’re at it, capitalism isn’t synonymous with corporatism.

        The sharing of resources and efforts between small, voluntary, like-minded groups already has a name…. community.

      • Pine_Tree

        1. I agree.
        2. (pedant- and curmudgeon-mode again, just ’cause in a mood this morning) You are using the term “community” correctly. But it has become one of my least favorite words because of the way it’s usually used – wishy-washy we’re-all-in-this-together blah blah crap.
        3. My main hate-words are “relationship” and “lifestyle”, because they almost always used to normalize sinful behaviour.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        2 was a tangential thought of mine that I filtered out when I was writing my comment. I almost put an asterisk to explain that I meant the traditional usage of the term.

        3 is especially annoying when it’s used by the Christian side of the discussion. It shows a woeful lack of understanding of humanity’s innate moral standing. Every single person does sinful stuff when left to their own devices. Rationalizing that reality away for certain sins is morally dangerous.

      • robc

        [insert Dunbar’s number comment here]

      • Tejicano

        One of the duties of the warrior in a number of “native American” tribes (Comanche and Apache come to mind) was to notice when an older aunt or grandmother was no longer able to perform the normal roles of a woman – scraping the hides, gathering fruit and other foodstuff, sewing and producing garments – at which point he walked up to her from behind and bashed her head in.

      • robc

        robc’s 2 laws of libertarianism:

        1. Everyone agrees with libertarians about something.
        2. No two libertarians agree about anything.

        #2 makes it clear that the NAP is not a unifying theory.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        I’d argue that the NAP is absolutely a unifying theory for libertarianism.

        Where it becomes difficult is that different people draw the line of what constitutes aggression in different places.

  41. Festus

    Just stepped back in for a second. Judi insisted on the avatar change.

    • CPRM

      Is that what Straff made for you? Very stalker-esque, I dig it.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Yeah I enjoyed that sketch.

  42. DEG

    Interestingly, PennLive says the amendments to rein in Wolf won but only about 73% of precincts have reported.

    Pennsylvania voters became the first in the nation to impose restrictions on a governor’s authority under an emergency disaster declaration. The vote on Tuesday’s primary ballot came as Republican lawmakers across the country have sought to roll back the emergency powers governors wielded during the COVID-19 pandemic.

    With 73% of precincts reporting, the two questions led with almost 54% of the vote. More than 2 million ballots were cast.

    • db

      Republicans claim the governor cannot order shutdowns without a disaster emergency in effect. Wolf disagrees, saying a governor’s authority during a public health emergency rests on separate public health law and is unaffected by the ballot questions.

      How much you want to be that if the vote had gone his way, Wolf would have trumpeted it as an endorsement of his methods rather than attempting to act like he was shooing a fly off his lapel?

      • db

        “bet”, not “be”

      • DEG

        Yes, he would be screaming from the rooftops that such a vote, if it had happened, validated what he was doing.

        Also note, his claim about using public health laws is similar to the path Whitmer took. This fight isn’t over.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      almost 54% of the vote. More than 2 million ballots were cast

      Ignoring the margin of fraud and the 10.7 million people who didn’t bother voting, the 46% who voted against this scare the hell out of me. That’s not a small number of people who are signaling their desire for progressive totalitarianism.

      • db

        I agree with you, to a point, but keep in mind that for some (many!) people this has been reduced to a partisan issue. They aren’t thinking. Not an excuse, but a possible explanation.

      • Sean

        There’s a lot of WFH people just fine with what happened, IMO.

      • db

        TBH, I am not fine with it, but it has pushed my employer to consider the viability of WFH for many of us for whom a daily commute is unnecessary. Our company stands to potentially save a lot of money if our offices could be downsized.

        None of which is an excuse nor a justification for the appalling governmental overreach we have witnessed in the last year-plus.

      • Sean

        I’d bet that you’re in the minority of WFH people.

        Further, I’d say there is probably a lot of overlap of the people I’m pointing at and the people reluctant to drop the masks.

        None of which is an excuse nor a justification for the appalling governmental overreach we have witnessed in the last year-plus.

        I’m still filing paperwork with the state which has me checking off boxes that our employees are washing their hands at the end of the work day. It also has the fearmongering bit about the ‘vid lingering on paper for days. FFS.

      • DEG

        I’d bet that you’re in the minority of WFH people.

        I bet Sean is right.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        this has been reduced to a partisan issue. They aren’t thinking.

        The scary part is that this won’t change in the slightest when the cattlecars start lining up and the deplorables start disappearing. The light bulb isn’t gonna turn on for very many of those people until they’re standing on a blood stain with a gun pointed at them.

      • juris imprudent

        That’s not a small number of people who are signaling their desire for progressive totalitarianism.

        No those are entirely fraudulent votes. No real people would ever vote for something we yokels here would find so abhorrent. We’re that smart/good/honest/pure.

      • juris imprudent

        Which was a really shitty way of saying yes, this is a big problem and exactly why our country is fucked.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      The Bible tells us to work smarter, not harder. Or, better yet, don’t work at all if you can help it. You can look it up. It’s in the Proverbs somewhere.

      Damn fine Christian humor right there.

      • kinnath

        Returning to their roots.

      • robc

        It is still their funniest stuff, even if politics has a broader audience.

        You would think there would be a limit on how much you can make fun of praise bands, but it turns out there isnt.

    • CPRM

      Fake NEWS! That was published last year, but they’re still making satire FAKE NEWZ!

  43. PieInTheSky

    “Erase” isn’t a dirty word. I erased a misspelling.

    “Cleanse” isn’t a dirty word. I cleansed a wound with alcohol.

    “Kill” isn’t a dirty word. I love to kill some time with a pleasant walk.

    https://twitter.com/BDSixsmith/status/1394927726507831301

    • R C Dean

      Holy crap. They refused to evacuate the building because they want to be martyrs, and are happy that the children will also be killed.

    • WTF

      Pretty much tells you what you need to know about both sides.

  44. Rebel Scum

    Now they are starting shit in the States.

    Authorities are investigating whether an attack on diners that occurred outside a Beverly Grove restaurant late Tuesday night was a Jewish hate crime.

    The brawl occurred a little before 10 p.m. outside Sushi Fumi in the 300 block of North La Cienega Boulevard.

    Witnesses said a mob of pro-Palestinians attacked a group of Jewish men who were dining at the restaurant. Cell phone video showed a group of men get out of the car and start to attack them while yelling racial slurs.

    One of the diners, who is not Jewish, told CBSLA a caravan waving pro-Palestinian flags approached and then began throwing bottles at him and the group he was dining with. The man said he is a photographer and the group was meeting at the restaurant to plan a wedding.

    • CPRM

      I didn’t know sushi was made of goyim babies.

    • invisible finger

      “One of the diners, who is not Jewish…”

      CBSLA implying that the Jewish diners would lie about what they witnessed.

    • juris imprudent

      Oh hell, it wasn’t even that far back up. [crawls off in disgrace]

      • UnCivilServant

        Don’t worry, I just figure you’ve muted all of us.

      • juris imprudent

        When I really need to mute anyone, it’s time for me to get off the computer and do something else.

      • Mojeaux

        #metoo but…

        I don’t use the mute function. If I can’t deal with someone, I scroll past their name.

      • Mojeaux

        Thank you for giving us the gift of the mute button, O Great Coding One.

        I DO use the gift of the permalink, tho.

  45. The Other Kevin

    I’m starting to think Trump’s biggest accomplishment was giving hateful, angry people an outlet for their hate and anger and diverting it from everyone else.

  46. Count Potato

    “Rashida Tlaib listed as special guest for event hosted by controversial, allegedly anti-Semitic activist

    In one case, he shared a now-deleted video to Facebook that claimed “satanic” Jews secretly control the media and have exaggerated the Holocaust’s death toll. In other posts, which remain visible, he’s called Israel an “apartheid” state and claimed “European Jews” trace their roots back to Georgia or Ukraine and don’t belong in the Middle East.”

    https://www.foxnews.com/politics/rashida-tlaib-anti-semitic-activist-abdel-qader-guest

    allegedly?

    • CPRM

      People are only from the oldest place a government recorded their ancestry. This is known. See the DNA tests being done. 100% from England, because you’re 100% Saxon! You’re family only ever, for the history of all time, lived in Russia because you’re 100% Rus!

  47. The Late P Brooks

    A random observation about work from home.

    This occurred to me, when this all began, and productivity was largely unaffected by the shift to work from home: what the fuck do all those people do all day when they re in the office?

    • PieInTheSky

      comment here, just like when working from home

    • UnCivilServant

      Watercooler conversations.

      • Sean

        Our water cooler got cut from the budget.

        *sad trombone*

    • CPRM

      Since we returned from lay-offs last summer there was 1 employee who never came back, and our department still functions the same and her position hasn’t been filled, this is all that came to mind.

    • db

      In my case, my time in the office was usually spent going to meetings, reviewing data, writing emails to respond to requests and/or direct my staff. The rest of my time was traveling to our production facilities. IMO, I don’t need to go into the office to do the first part. The second part of my job is the one I really like, and it’s good to be getting back into it. But there’s no need for me to waste 1.5 hrs a day commuting to an office when I can do that part of the job equally well from my back porch.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        My job is nearly 100% interacting with people in different time zones. The office was a distraction factory back when I had a shitty home setup. Now that I have a well built home setup, the office is a non-starter.

      • RBS

        Yeah, the only things I need to come into the office for are client meetings and printing documents.

  48. Rebel Scum

    The invasion will come from the sea.

    The US Navy photographed & filmed “spherical” shaped UFOs & advanced transmedium vehicles; here is some of that footage. Filmed in the Combat Information Center of the USS Omaha / July 15th 2019 / warning area off San Diego @ 11pm PST. No wreckage found. No craft were recovered.

    I’ve seen this movie.

  49. grrizzly

    Food sales in the US dropped 23% in April 2020. They recovered by July.

    • Sean

      Restaurant shut downs?

      • grrizzly

        Yes, the numbers include restaurants and grocery stores. At first I had an impression that it was only food bought in stores. But now I’m pretty sure it includes restaurants.

    • db

      What more proof do you need of how deadly COVID has been? The only way food sales could drop 23% is if demand dropped by 23%, ergo, 23% of the population were wiped out.

      • DEG

        SCIENCE!!!

        See, following the SCIENCE!!! isn’t that hard.

  50. DEG

    Fuck. Daniel Will confirmed to NH Superior Court

    Activists will now need to add the Court of Judge Daniel Will to their radar. He’s the Sununu Admin lawyer who convinced a different Superior Court Judge that the Governor had the power to ignore the Constitution during a state of emergency.

    If Daniel “Will” ignore the constitution’s place as a means to constrain government as a lawyer, we can only assume the Judge “Will” as well.

    New Hampshire’s Executive Council voted 4-1 to confirm the appointment, with Councilor Wheeler being the only dissenter.

    • ignoreLander

      That’s fucked up. While I appreciate the puns, they aren’t “Donald Trump”ed by the fact that this guy is a piece of shit.

  51. DEG

    From OSHA’s Covid FAQ

    If I require my employees to take the COVID-19 vaccine as a condition of their employment, are adverse reactions to the vaccine recordable?

    If you require your employees to be vaccinated as a condition of employment (i.e., for work-related reasons), then any adverse reaction to the COVID-19 vaccine is work-related. The adverse reaction is recordable if it is a new case under 29 CFR 1904.6 and meets one or more of the general recording criteria in 29 CFR 1904.7.

    • db

      Oh baby that’s great.

    • l0b0t

      The stupidity of many of those questions fact that the state controls our lives to such a degree makes me very, very cross.