Wednesday Afternoon SugarLinks – Vast and Trunkless

by | May 26, 2021 | Daily Links | 264 comments

Consider Marilyn, who was once as tall and goth as you…

Warrant issued for Marilyn Manson’s arrest in connection with 2019 assault

Marilyn Manson’s a wanted man in New Hampshire. The artist, birth name Brian Hugh Warner, has an active warrant issued by Gilford police for two counts of “class A misdemeanor simple assault” against a photographer at a show in 2019.

The photographer, alleges that the singer spit on her and at one point launched a “snot rocket” at her and her camera. While these claims have been supported by other attendees and a security guard, police wrote in a Facebook post that an “arrest warrant is not a presumption of guilt.” They also say that Warner’s team have been aware of the charges for some time, and “no effort has been made by him to return to New Hampshire to answer the pending charges.”

Of course, not Gizmodo article can be complete without the ritual recitation of the allegations against him:

This charge carries no connection to the ongoing sexual abuse allegations against Warner, and Gilford police made it clear that the 2019 assaults “are not sexual in nature.” Earlier this month in an interview with PEOPLE, model Ashley Smithline said that Warner sexually assaulted her numerous times and violently abused her over the course of two years.

Another former partner, Game of Thrones actress Esmé Bianco, is currently suing the musician for rape and sexual battery, and accusing his former manger of human trafficking. Warner is also being sued by his former assistant, Ashley Walters, who detailed sexual assault, professional sexual exploitation, manipulation and psychological abuse she endured while working for him in an interview with The Cut. Ex-fiancee Evan Rachel Wood came forward in February, naming Warner as the previously unspecified partner that abused her. In 2019, the actress testified in California under the Phoenix Act to extend her statute of limitations. Among the many allegations levied against him, Wood also said Warner “started grooming [her] when [she] was a teenager and horrifically abused [her] for years.”

What, really, is the point of being in music if you can’t mistreat your groupies? I mean, there’s the money, I guess, but you can make money without the fame that brings in the groupies. He’d never have slept with any of these women based on his looks, not even dressed like Hellraiser the Clown. But that fame is just what will hang him when this gets to court. Brian Warner the Wendy’s Drive-thru guy could have all the regretted sex he could stand with ugly trailer trash and never get #metoo’d and women would be too ashamed to tell people they were mistreated by the worst kid’s party clown in existence. (All his balloon animals have distemper.) So fame gets you a girl upgrade but leads to massive pay-offs and maybe jail. Why bother?


 

I can’t believe this Wikipedia page hasn’t been canceled yet.

Sexual Mimicry

Sexual mimicry occurs when one sex mimics the opposite sex in its behavior, appearance, or chemical signalling. It is more commonly seen within invertebrate species, although sexual mimicry is also seen among vertebrates such as spotted hyenas. Sexual mimicry is commonly used as a mating strategy to gain access to a mate, a defense mechanism to avoid more dominant individuals, or a survival strategy. It can also be a physical characteristic that establishes an individual’s place in society. Sexual mimicry is employed differently across species and it is part of their strategy for survival and reproduction. Examples of sexual mimicry in animals include the spotted hyena, certain types of fish, passerine birds and some species of insect among others. These are cases of intraspecific sexual mimicry, but interspecific sexual mimicry can also occur in some plant species, especially orchids. In plants employing sexual mimicry, flowers mimic mating signals of their pollinator insects. These insects are attracted and pollinate the flowers through pseudocopulations or other sexual behaviors performed on the flower.


 

California school locked down when stapler mistaken for gun

ELK GROVE, Calif. – Officers responding to a report of a possibly armed person at a suburban Sacramento high school discovered it was a student with a stapler.

Elk Grove High School and an elementary school were locked down when the report came in Friday and officers from multiple agencies were called in to assist.

“During the course of the investigation, officers learned a student used a stapler as a prop to act out a scene from a movie. The stapler was open and the reporting party believed they saw a weapon,” the Elk Grove Police Department said in a statement.

The department said the incident was turned over to school administration to address “as there was no criminal conduct identified as a part of this call for service.”

MEANWHILE…

8 people killed, suspect dead in San Jose shooting

Eight people were killed in a shooting Wednesday morning at a light rail facility in San Jose, California, and the suspect is also dead, authorities said. The suspect was an employee of the Santa Clara Valley Transportation Authority (VTA), which operates the rail yard, said a Santa Clara County sheriff’s spokesman, Deputy Russell Davis.

The Santa Clara County Sheriff’s Office, which is located next door to the transportation hub and maintenance yard, received multiple 911 calls for shots fired around 6:34 a.m. The VTA said employees were evacuated.

California is like a toddler holding up a broken vase and saying “I fix it! I fix it!”


 


About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

264 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    One thing that doesn’t make sense about the Marilyn Manson thing, is that Miss #metoo Rose McGowan isn’t one of the accusers.

    • SugarFree

      That part of her brain is probably missing.

      • rhywun

        He ate it?

      • SugarFree

        Probably lost it in that car accident that might or might not happened which she had to have plastic surgery for.

    • ignoreLander

      Rose McGowan also routinely calls out LA hypocrisy and stupidity. Which, yes, she is a part of. But she strikes me as honest, unlike so many of the others.

  2. Shpip

    “During the course of the investigation, officers learned a student used a stapler as a prop to act out a scene from a movie. The stapler was open and the reporting party believed they saw a weapon,” the Elk Grove Police Department said in a statement.

    Good thing the perp didn’t have a banana, or a pointed stick!

    • Sean

      *releases tiger*

      • Tonio

        print(“Python fanboys confirmed.”)

      • Shpip

        + 16 tons

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      The coming economic crash and concomitant cultural chaos is gonna eat these people alive.

    • Chafed

      Carrying a pointed stick is illegal. It’s gun adjacent.

  3. DEG

    Officers responding to a report of a possibly armed person at a suburban Sacramento high school discovered it was a student with a stapler.

    WTF?

    • The Other Kevin

      It wasn’t a Swingline.

    • Animal

      I’ve stopped reading any news out of California. I was facepalming so hard and so often that it sounded like a standing ovation at the Royal Albert Hall.

      • Tres Cool

        But how many holes does it take to….oh, nevermind

    • rhywun

      I just assume Biden has picked another worst-possible candidate like every other position he has nominated.

      • juris imprudent

        *taps side of nose*

    • Sean

      He also looks like an asshole.

      You’re not wrong.

    • EvilSheldon

      Yeah, Chipman is a straight nightmare. Aside from his technical incompetence, he has a huge conflict of interest – he’s a paid employee of the Giffords Foundation, and is an advisor and former lobbyist for Everytown.

      • Tonio

        That name alone, Everytown for Gun Safety, just drips of smugness and lies.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Is it better or worse than when it was called “Moms Demand Action”?

      • Tonio

        Worse. Because MDA was unintentionally hilarious, and invited snide MILF jokes; something that sort of birthing person would not have realized when choosing the name.

      • Ownbestenemy

        he’s a paid employee of the Giffords Foundation, and is an advisor and former lobbyist for Everytown.

        When has that stopped anyone in politics.

      • EvilSheldon

        They used to be a little less shameless about their corruption…

    • Animal

      He actually does. His photo reminds me of John Steinbeck’s description of a wealthy newspaperman (supposedly William Randolph Hearst, but Steinbeck doesn’t say) in The Grapes of Wrath:

      Pa asked slowly, “Ain’t—ain’t it nice out there at all?”
      “Sure, nice to look at, but you can’t have none of it. They’s a grove of yella
      oranges—an’ a guy with a gun that got the right to kill you if you touch one. They’s a
      fella, newspaper fella near the coast, got a million acres—”
      Casy looked up quickly, “Million acres? What in the worl’ can he do with a million
      acres?”
      “I dunno. He jus’ got it. Runs a few cattle. Got guards ever’place to keep folks out.
      Rides aroun’ in a bullet-proof car. I seen pitchers of him. Fat, sof’ fella with little mean
      eyes an’ a mouth like a ass-hole. Scairt he’s gonna die. Got a million acres an’ scairt of
      dyin’.”

      That’s what this guy looks like. A “fat, sof’ fella with little mean eyes an’ a mouth like a ass-hole.”

    • Gadfly

      He also looks like an asshole.

      Well, he was an ATF agent for 25 years and has lied about events surrounding the Waco massacre to make the ATF look better, so I’d say asshole is a correct assessment.

  4. Count Potato

    “Republican lawmakers demanded Dr. Anthony Fauci be terminated from his role as the nation’s top infectious disease expert after he was accused of flip-flopping on key COVID-related topics like mask-wearing and the origins of the coronavirus.

    House Rep. Warren Davidson, a Republican from Ohio, on Tuesday proposed the ‘FIRED Act’ – whose acronym stands for ‘Fauci Incompetence Requires Early Dismissal.'”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9619697/Calls-Fauci-resign-flip-flopping-origins-COVID.html

    LOL

    • ignoreLander

      Funny, don’t get me wrong at all.

      But I am pretty sick of this naming bills for a pithy acronym thing. Yes I know it isn’t new. However, it’s turned into such stunt P.R. to throw something out there that has no chance of being the law of the land, but trying to dunk on someone just by putting it in the record.

      And why should firing a quack be an “act”? Firing is, call him into the boss’ office and tell him, “you suck in every way, go retire on your millions leeched off the productive people, you’re dismissed”

    • UnCivilServant

      No, she’s going to sic her undead corgis on him.

    • rhywun

      She’s going to jog circles around him.

      • SugarFree

        I’m hoping he goes in for a boob honk.

      • Tonio

        OMG, that would be great.

    • Tres Cool

      Please let there be a push-up contest.

    • Rat on a train

      Will he give her an Ipod loaded with his speeches?

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s all his greatest sentence fragments on shuffle. No one will be able to tell the difference.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Like his great great grandson got a hold of a Biden 2000 Soundboard and was mashing away

      • Chafed

        Too true

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Now that was a stupendous display of ego for the ages.

      • Tonio

        I can only imagine what Prince Philip had to say about that in private.

      • Animal

        Probably something on the order of “the cheek of that man! What a bloody sanctimonious tosser.”

      • The Hyperbole

        Yeah, Barry should have given them a signed photo of him and Michelle.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        *nixes Christmas gift plans*

    • Tonio

      That’s actually going to be really interesting from a protocol standpoint. I suspect he will do some sort of physical familiarity or other breach of etiquette.

      • Ownbestenemy

        They will both wipe their hands after a handshake and murmur “smells like moths”

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        “Megan smelled better”.

      • Ownbestenemy

        His finger or her hair?

    • TARDis

      He’s going to sniff her hair?

      Yes, her fetid mound of rusted Brillo pad congested with 400 thread count Egyptian granny panty fragments.

  5. Count Potato

    “Here is the test: Hold your hand up as if you’re telling someone to stop (1). With your palm flat, stretch your thumb as far as you can across it, towards your little finger. If your thumb reaches the middle of the palm (2) that is normal. However, if it stretches past the edge of your hand (3), researchers say this may be a sign of an aortic aneurysm and you should get it checked”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-9620649/Simple-thumb-test-indicate-youre-harbouring-aortic-aneurysm.html

    Bullshit

    • SugarFree

      I guess I have an aortic aneurysm.

      • Count Potato

        #metoo

    • rhywun

      if it stretches past the edge of your hand

      What kind of freak of nature is able to do that?!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        *glances around nervously*

      • Tres Cool

        Tommy “Long Thumbs” DiSalvo ?

    • Tres Cool

      I agree, based on how they spelled “harbor”.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      More likely a sign of Ehlers Danlos.

      • hayeksplosives

        This is true.

        My thumb can bend past my hand but not with my palm flat; my palm folds in half as the thumb reaches toward (and then past) the hand.

        I can scootch right out of handcuffs by folding my hand in half like that.

      • commodious spittoon

        A girlfriend some years back told me about being arrested as a teenager for shoplifting craft supplies at Hobby Lobby. (DORK.) The cop cuffed her and sat her on the curb while he called her parents. She slipped her hands out of the cuffs and held them up to the cop. “Are they supposed to do that?”

    • Rat on a train

      If you hand is bigger than your face, you have cancer.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Damn you, Sir.

      • pistoffnick

        You know what they say about a man with big hands?
        .
        .
        .
        .
        Big gloves!

      • Animal

        Can confirm.

    • Bobarian LMD

      Also, if your hand is bigger than your face, you could die of brain cancer within a year.

      *Third grader giggle*

    • Swiss Servator

      “Next up, the Department of Phrenology weighs in on skull bums – can they tell if you have cancer?”

      • Grumbletarian

        Skull Bums sounds like a great name for a band.

      • BakedPenguin

        Stoner metal bands especially. I could see the bill: Skull Bums/ Fu Manchu/ Kyuss

  6. Tundra

    Those Ford commercials are awesome.

    Yes, I’d give her a second helping.

    The 69 Mach 1 with the 428 CJ is a solid wood.

    • The Hyperbole

      I only made it through four of them, there was nothing even remotely funny about them, let alone hilarious. SugarFree lied to me!

      • Tundra

        Not even the Graduate homage?

      • The Hyperbole

        No, mimicking a popular movie for the sake of mimicking the movie isn’t funny, had they subverted it somehow, maybe. But wasn’t a very good movie to begin with so a parody of it is bound to be even worse. It’s like a Woody Allen movie but Woody Allen’s character is played by a mediocre actor impersonating Woody Allen, which is far to many iterations of Woody Allen.

    • Animal

      My best bud from high school (and one of the thinly disguised characters from The Allamakee County Chronicles) is restoring one of those, 428CJ and all. I’m looking forward to a ride in it.

      • Tundra

        I didn’t like the later Machs. They got bloated and cartoonish. That one is sumbime.

    • Agent Cooper

      The Cobra music was so Cobra-y.

  7. EvilSheldon

    Rat snakes do sexual mimicry. At the start of breeding season, a single male will start secreting female-smelling pheromones. This snake will try to lure the other male snakes away from the den, then race back and have first pick of all the cute female snakes.

    It is unclear 1.) how the decoy male gets selected, and B.) what happens if the other males catch him…

    And now that’s something you can’t un-know!

    • Bobarian LMD

      what happens if the other males catch him…

      Cloaca shaming.

  8. Rebel Scum

    Officers responding to a report of a possibly armed person at a suburban Sacramento high school discovered it was a student with a stapler.

    At least it wasn’t an assault stapler with a large capacity rail and that thing that goes up.

    Eight people were killed in a shooting Wednesday morning at a light rail facility in San Jose, California, and the suspect is also dead, authorities said.

    Unpossible. The Democratic Peoples Republic of Commiefornistan (DPRC) has commonsense gun control.

    • Plisade

      Nobody needs a hundred staple clip.

    • Ted S.

      Was it a red Swingline stapler?

  9. Tres Cool

    I’ve been drinking since it’s my d̶a̶y̶ night off. And I was thinking that with all the Fauci/Wuhan-Lab madness, its weird how you don’t hear a thing about Cuomo’s transgressions these days.

    /opens another beer

    • rhywun

      Cuomo’s just thumbing his nose at the media and nobody seems interested in pursuing the matter any further.

      Job done, I guess.

      • Swiss Servator

        Following the Virginia model.

      • Tres Cool

        Re-election secured ?

      • rhywun

        Unless the party machine changes its mind, yep.

  10. Count Potato

    “We have cameras at doggy day care that pet owners can tune into via an app on their phone.

    Is there a reason there’s not a camera in every classroom in America that parents can tune into WHENEVER they want to see what their kids are learning?”

    https://twitter.com/DrKarlynB/status/1397418741068091395

    Yes, they don’t want you to know.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It was a tell when the teachers were bitching about parents listening on Zoom classes.

    • zwak

      Yeah, if MY kid is in a class, being taught by someone who is paid by public money, I want a fucking cameral on the bitch.

      Same goes for cops.

    • Tonio

      “Student privacy.”

    • Tulip

      Teacher’s unions.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Like body cams for cops, they want them when it meets their purposes.

    • Raven Nation

      It was telling about teachers bitching about parents listening in on Zoom.

      But, it’s possible there’s some problems with grading exercises, etc. being seen/heard by someone not teaching the class.

    • westernsloper

      My experience is the parents DTGAF what happens in any classroom so long as they can drop their kid there so they can go to work and further their careers.

  11. zwak

    Elk Grove HS. Heh, my wife went there, albeit 30 years ago.

  12. Enough About Palin

    “The photographer, alleges that the singer spit on her and at one point launched a “snot rocket” at her and her camera.”

    I am looking forward to Marilyn Manson’s new album Snot Rocket.

    • Bobarian LMD

      Sounds like photos for the album cover are already taken care of.

    • Tres Cool

      I thought Snot Rocket was just Bauhaus w/o Peter Murphy.
      Wait, that’s Love and Rockets.

      • The Other Kevin

        That song is still great, and that video is still cool.

        The first concert I ever went to was Love & Rockets / Pixies.

      • Chafed

        I’m jealous

      • pistoffnick

        We used to play that song over and over in the summer camp kitchen.

      • pistoffnick

        I recently heard the Muzak version at a hardware store.

        You know how you know you are old? When the songs of your youth become elevator music.

      • kinnath

        When the songs of your youth become elevator music.

        Decades ago.

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        **HEAVY SIGH**

        Yeah.

      • TARDis

        *Googles Led Zeppelin Black Dog Elevator Music*

        I think I’m good… for now.

  13. Count Potato

    “Dr. Fauci Gets In Heated Debate With Seventeen Previous Versions Of Himself

    WASHINGTON, D.C.—After a brief temporal anomaly occurred in Washington, D.C., causing a version of Dr. Fauci from just two weeks ago to materialize in the city, the current Dr. Fauci got in a heated debate with the manifestation of himself from the past…”

    https://babylonbee.com/news/dr-fauci-gets-in-intense-debate-with-dr-fauci-from-a-few-months-ago

    • kinnath

      Finally, an uneasy truce was called, as all the Faucis agreed they at least all wanted the same thing: to stay in the spotlight forever.

    • SP

      I love them SO.MUCH.

  14. Bobarian LMD

    From the link: manger of human trafficking.

    Is that some kind of farming business?

    Gots to keep your farm hand strong?

    A Farmers love is very different than a square’s love?

    • Tres Cool

      Its not so baaaaaaaad

  15. Rebel Scum

    You can proudly return if you choose. Or would that not be ideal?

    A San Diego County resident and DACA recipient who’s worked several jobs to pay his way through college achieved part of his dream Tuesday when he graduated from San Diego State University.

    Javier Diego Jacinto, 22 – proudly flying a Mexican flag – walked across the stage at Petco Park during SDSU’s commencement ceremony as his family cheered from the stands.

    • rhywun

      Proudly thumbing his nose at every taxpayer who contributed to his tuition.

      • Tres Cool

        That’s a strong use of “contributed”.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I am torn with this. I don’t care if you wave your heritage around. I do care that you know you are gaming the system, or are using the political climate to game the system.

      • The Hyperbole

        I was entirely on his side until I read that his goal is to become a elementary school teacher. He worked that hard just to become a lazy low level grifter?

      • rhywun

        I liked that he’s aiming for the “Bilingual Credential Program”. Don’t overextend yourself, dude.

      • Gustave Lytton

        How is he going to get such a job as an illegal? Licensure, hiring.., leave aside the wisdom of putting a proud and unrepentant criminal in charge of a group of young children.

      • Gender Traitor

        Dude! It’s California! They’ll probably name him Teacher of the Year before he even gets hired.

    • rhywun

      So/Tedious

    • Not Adahn

      Is Joan Constantine John Constantine’s sister?

      • Bobarian LMD

        18/19th Century ancestor to John. Canon.

      • zwak

        It’s Elliot Page’s new role.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Stephen Fry going along with that is sad.

      Also, the only person that isn’t a he/she didn’t meet my expectations. I would have sworn angry head shot lady would be the they/them

  16. Rebel Scum

    I thought that was cultural appropriation, Joy.

    Behar said, “Well, you know, I was reading that 95 to 99% of all cases that go to the grand jury end up in indictments. So, I mean, I’m a betting woman. I say he could be indicted very easily. I think he’s probably trembling. Of course, he’ll deny everything. It’s a witch hunt. When he was impeached, it’s a witch hunt. It’s always a witch hunt, and he’s always completely innocent. You know you’ll find his accountant, Weisselberg, under a bus any day. Ivanka, I don’t know who he is. He’s only been in the family for 30 years. Ivanka, stop it. When he’s indicted, I’m having a big party with Mexican food, a pinata, margaritas, everything. I can’t wait. I’m having a severe case of schadenfreude as we speak.”

    Because Trump is totally not the loyal type or the type that expects loyalty.

    • rhywun

      I think she is actually mentally unwell. We all get to make armchair analyses, right?

    • Bobarian LMD

      Are we addressing the shadenfreude or the mexican birthday party?

      Or is it a two-for-one?

      Finding his accountant under a bus sounds Clintonian to me.

    • Agent Cooper

      Do people not think that guys like Trump are not vetted six ways to Sunday by the IRS on a regular basis?

      • Ownbestenemy

        They don’t even get that far into the logic. Local neighborhood is all clamoring “THIS TIME!”

  17. SP

    Well, since it’s Wednesday and I could use some levity in my life, I’ll be hosting a MidWeek Glib Zoom, although I might have to make it an early night as we have a Wonder Dog (routine) vet appointment in the early morning.

    Same old time. 8 p.m. Eastern, 7 p.m. Glibtime, 6 p.m. Mountain, 5 p.m. AZ & Pacific.

    Be there…or you don’t have to. I’m not the boss of you.

    (Hopefully the link will work properly this week!)

    • Tres Cool

      Ive got a c̶a̶m̶-̶s̶e̶x̶ video call to Jugsy, and Ill need a nap. But Ill try to show before its a complete sausage-fest.

  18. Rebel Scum

    Nobody is trying to take away your guns.

    Cotton asked if Chipman wanted to ban any firearm larger than a .22 that has a detachable magazine. Chipman reiterated that his definition was solely for rifles.

    “You asked me if ATF had used this term and I was sharing with you my knowledge of a program in which ATF has defined this term and it is in the demand letter 3 program,” the nominee explained. “And that rifle is a semi-automatic rifle capable of accepting a detachable magazine with a round greater than a .22 caliber …”

    “I’m amazed that might be the definition of an ‘assault weapon.’ That would basically cover every single modern sporting rifle in America today,” Cotton replied.

    The ATF nominee stated the firearms industry previously used the term “assault rifle” in marketing materials but changed the term to “modern sporting rifle” after the 1994 assault weapons ban.

    • juris imprudent

      Anyone recall “assault rifle” being a marketing term? I don’t, and I tend not to believe this man unless he produces some proof.

      • Agent Cooper

        That’s what AR means. Duh.

        (This is sarcasm.)

      • Ownbestenemy

        Of course I do. When the man in uniform handed me my rifle…no wait. When I went to the firearm store he said “try out this rifle…” hmmm, not there either. When the man on the news came on is the only time I heard the description.

  19. Pope Jimbo

    I am really looking forward to reading this immigrant Korean woman’s* next story. The one where she takes everyone to task for not pronouncing her Korean name correctly.

    as a Korean American immigrant woman, I’ve lived my entire life in fear of racism, discrimination, and violence. This fear even caused me to adopt a different name—a whiter, more American one. Everyone knows me as Ann Kim, but I was born Eun-Kyung Kim. It’s still my legal name, but I stopped using it after kindergarten, around the same time I learned the harsh lesson that being different in this country is not good.

    I guess I should be proud my wife kept her Korean name even though it gives native Ugly Americans fits?

    * The “immigrant woman” moved here as a 4 year-old girl. She’s way more American than she is Korean now. If she went back to the home country, she’d have a hard time because she has forgotten (or never learned) all the little cultural tics that make the Koreans so bat shit crazy.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Like many small business owners in Minneapolis, over the past year I was focused on maintaining our restaurants while also trying to be an ally for my Black friends and colleagues. But all the while, I was struggling inside: with the Asian hate promoted by the previous administration, with the privilege I carried around, with my desperate, lifelong attempt to identify as white.

      Even while Asians were being blamed for the pandemic, we still downplayed the discrimination, like we’ve been conditioned to do. It took some serious violence to trigger emotion for the Asian American and Pacific Islander community. When six Asian women were killed in Atlanta in March, we realized we couldn’t stand by quietly anymore. At first, I didn’t know what to say, but then it hit me: People don’t really know who I am. So I decided to #saymyname—Eun-Kyung Kim—and made a promise to speak up.

      Can you even imagine the bravery it takes to change your name? Surely her sacrifice will be an inspiration for everyone and the Trumpistas will quail before her.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        “Yellow people! Back on the plantation! We will try using sugar this time, but the vinegar is coming!”

      • KSuellington

        And you had better pronounce it right the first time whitey!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I think the only thing you had to fear from Trumpsters was yellow fever.

        These strawmen are so damned tedious and repetitive.

      • Agent Cooper

        “Asians were being blamed for the pandemic”

        JFC.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Newsroom: What is something we can begin to look at that has always happened but we just didn’t give a damn? Well, Trump said “Kung Flu” and I saw a report of some Asian looking person getting mugged, I think we can make a story out of it!

      • Agent Cooper

        “maintaining our restaurants”

        America has been terrible to her.

      • B.P.

        I’m sure her parents appreciate her shitting all over their likely difficult decision to raise her in the U.S., which they probably thought would improve their lot in life.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Definitely has his ear to the ground and we have adults in charge now.

      Update (1522ET): Less than 24 hours after CNN threw Biden under the bus for canceling a State Department effort launched under Trump to get to the bottom of the origins of COVID-19, the Biden administration has backpedaled – and has ordered the US intelligence community to conduct a 90-day investigation into how the pandemic began.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Sure, we can keep this here. It sounds foreign enough

    • Ownbestenemy

      Given that victimhood grants special status, I cannot blame her completely. She sees little T’wamika Abebe or Ana Lucia Maria Gutierrez get all the breaks, is given a pass on her poor education, have first dibs on loans, grants, etc. She wants to ride the train also.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I can. I associate victimhood with moral degradation and a lack of dignity. I don’t care if you cut my legs off, I refuse to be a victim.

      • Count Potato

        It’s just a flesh wound!

    • Sensei

      The vast majority of my Chinese co-workers use a western first name, although they all also have Chinese first names. I’ve not heard a single complaint from them and as far as I know it what voluntary. Seems also common among Vietnamese.

      Naturally Japan is different…

      • Sensei

        err “was voluntary”.

      • rhywun

        I have an ex who had not Americanized his Chinese name. For some reason he forgot to mention all the pain and suffering he had had to endure because of it. It’s my fault for not being an ally, I guess.

        PS. Ugh CWAA above

      • KSuellington

        Japanese names, while they may not be common here, are at least pretty easy to pronounce correctly and if you see them written it is not a big mystery as to how to say it. Chinese names are a different story. I think that plays a part. And yea, I know a number of Chinese here that like having a western name and a Chinese one. When I lived in Brazil for some reason Brazilians would always mess up my easy typical name and so I had to use a famous actor’s last name after it to get them to say it (kinda) right.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Two of my kids use their initials when visiting relatives in Korea to make things easier on everyone.

        One kid has a name that phonetically can sound like a cruel taunt and another just has a name that is too unfamiliar for the Koreans.

      • Tres Cool

        “One kid has a name that phonetically can sound like a cruel taunt…”

        You’re name is You’re name is C*nt Face !

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      Tough shit. When I lived overseas nobody pronounced my name correctly either. It’s called an accent. I was in their country. I got used to it. Hell, most of the time my own wife doesn’t pronounce my name correctly. For one thing, my name isn’t even “hey asshole”.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Whatever you say Mr. Asswipe Johnson

      • Pope Jimbo

        Ooops, for got the link.

        Sorry I couldn’t find an actual video.

      • Gadfly

        Tough shit. When I lived overseas nobody pronounced my name correctly either.

        Hell, people in America frequently mispronounce my name, despite the fact that it’s a common English name. You can’t get mad if people mispronounce your name, unless they are doing it intentionally.

    • BakedPenguin

      This gives the game away: It took some serious violence to trigger emotion for the Asian American >and Pacific Islander community.. Talk them talkie points!

      Also, try going through life with a last name like ‘Brzozowskij’.

      Finally, if she wants to be all homeland proud, maybe she should state her name correctly, surname first.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Right? I have too unique of a surname to put here, but the mounds of trophies, certificates, year books, etc that just couldn’t spell it right never got me down. It was a badge of honor. Even the first gift my wife got me, an etched decanter had it misspelled and I said “welcome to the family”.

      • BakedPenguin

        *sniff* I feel your pain brother…

        Also, in case Hype doesn’t answer about Shpip’s joke, say the last sentence of the first paragraph like an old country Italian grandma.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yeah I was slow on the take. I blame work getting in the way of reading humor.

      • TARDis

        I feel your pain. I was totally deprived today. It was borderline oppression, I tells ya.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Also, missed on the zooms the past few times. I need another “why don’t you shut up for a moment so I can speak since you asked me a question” person on there

      • UnCivilServant

        Those were always too crowded, and it always felt impossible to participate without talking over people.

      • westernsloper

        You just have to out drink the others and then you are having breakfast with Lobot and watching straff drink in a parking lot.

      • UnCivilServant

        I can’t do that.

        /mypoorliver

    • Agent Cooper

      “”fuck fear”

      Those 2 words in that order can have a completely different interpretation, sweetheart.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Eight people were killed in a shooting Wednesday morning at a light rail facility in San Jose, California

    Joe Biden’s Amerikkka.

  21. Ownbestenemy

    For those that hate “What are Glibs cooking”

    I just got done making some enchilada sauce and some roasted salsa. Chicken is roasting and will be shredded for some enchiladas.

    What I have enjoyed most about the ‘pandemic’ is my expansion of cooking techniques.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      I made pesto (minus the pine nuts, I’ll put them in after I unfreeze it) for the first time ever yesterday. In fact, I don’t know that I’ve ever actually had pesto before. It tasted good, but I didn’t have anything to compare it to.

      /bad Italian

      • Ownbestenemy

        Man, mix that in some rice or some noodles and as long as you have a slight bite with a balance of acidity and salt it doesn’t matter if its bad or good. Oh and a good hard Italian cheese of course.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Also pesto is crazy simple but I shy away or use an alternative cause the price of pine nuts here is stupid.

      • Shpip

        I made pesto (minus the pine nuts, I’ll put them in after I unfreeze it) for the first time ever yesterday.

        I certainly hope you had someone else with you when you did this. When I was but a lad, I kept asking my grandmother if I could help in the kitchen. After repeated offerings, she finally relented, telling me “you can help, but don’t make a pesto yourself.”

        Words to live by.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Maybe I am confused, its nuts, Italian cheese, oil, garlic, lemon and basil (or parsley) in a food processor.

      • The Hyperbole

        lemon and basil (or parsley)

        Philistine! There is only Basil (from Genoa) Olive oil, Pine nuts, butter, and cheese. Also you missed the “don’t make a Pest…O’yourself” joke.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Why I have the maybe I am confused. It was a long day Hype..give me that one yeah?

      • BakedPenguin

        I didn’t get it until you pointed it out.

    • EvilSheldon

      Over the last week or so, I perfected ‘EvilSheldon’s Ultimate Generic Asian Stir-Fry Sauce, Marinade, Gun Oil, and Flavored Personal Lubricant’

      2 parts soy sauce
      1 part maple syrup
      1 part olive oil
      1 part Hoy Fong chili and garlic paste

      Goes well with defrosted chicken parts, broccoli, and water chestnuts.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Stolen for bedroom play and maybe some chicken in the future.

      • juris imprudent

        SIV is that you?

      • Agent Cooper

        Yum. I often use Soy, Rice Vinegar, Orange Blossom Honey, and a bit of chili sauce in mine.

    • KSuellington

      Try almonds instead of pine nuts. A big ole sack of almonds is far cheaper than pine nuts and I think the taste is pretty similar in the finished product.

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        I’ve also done it with cashews (YUM!) and pistachios (YUM!).

        As for almonds, you don’t even have to grind ’em — just buy almond butter (it’s good on toast, too). Same trick works with cashew butter, but I don’t know if pistachio butter’s a thing.

      • KSuellington

        Hmm cool. I love cashews and pistachios so I’m gonna try one of those next time. Thanks!

        Did you know that the cashew is actually the bottom stem like thingy of a fruit? I’ve never seen the fruit sold outside of SouthAm, although I bet you’d see it in. África too.

      • slumbrew

        We’ve done walnut pesto, also yum. And I don’t even like walnuts.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I never regretted a good gumming

    • Pope Jimbo

      Could we get that Mexican gal from yesterday to slap the asses of each of today’s candidates so we can compare apples to apples?

      • Ownbestenemy

        For science it should be done.

      • SandMan

        That’s some Science I’d like to follow!

      • TARDis

        Boss: “I’m not clear why you are not coming in to work today.”
        *texts link*
        Boss: “Okay, see you tomorrow. Get some rest later.”

      • Ownbestenemy

        I tell my wife I am studying the dynamics of bun elasticity and its properties to bounce back into shape. She hasn’t caught on to that one….yet.

      • UnCivilServant

        Have you correlated it to gluten sensitivity?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Ill keep that one in my rear pocket.

      • Gender Traitor

        gluten sensitivity

        Gluten, gluteus – whatever works.

      • UnCivilServant

        What else do you make buns from? 😀

      • B.P.

        I too was mesmerized by the Mexican volleyball gif, but a question: Are they standing at the U.S. border wall or something?

  22. limey

    On the subject of sexual mimicry, I suggest further reading on the ruff, especially the three distinct kinds of males. I wonder how much this kind of thing happens in other species but it’s gone unnoticed because they don’t have the obvious polymorphism that the ruff has.

    #weirdanimals

    • Pope Jimbo

      Uffda. I’ve been completely wrong on what Ruff Trade means for years and years if I believe you.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    House Rep. Warren Davidson, a Republican from Ohio, on Tuesday proposed the ‘FIRED Act’ – whose acronym stands for ‘Fauci Incompetence Requires Early Dismissal.’”

    Early dismissal? That senile quack passed his sell-by date twenty years ago.

    • The Gunslinger

      Finally a stupid bill acronym I kinda like.

  24. Pope Jimbo

    I’ve known since I was a kid that the Vikings can be counted on to really shit the bed when it counts. I didn’t realize they’d been doing it before I came along.

    In 1991, YAT palaescatologist Dr Andrew Jones said: “This is the most exciting piece of excrement I’ve ever seen.

    “In its own way, it’s as irreplaceable as the Crown Jewels.”

    *Swear that is not a review of SF’s prose.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Great All-Father! And my kids ask what is there to be proud of being descendants of Vikings!

    • slumbrew

      How many courics is that?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        For reference, one Katie is a rather large pile of shit.

  25. Ownbestenemy

    Well wholly hell. The Air Traffic Union said if you are fully vaccinated, ditch the mask. I wonder how this squares with Biden’s EO. My union, the technical side are little bitches

  26. DEG

    Those Ford commercials are trippy.

    I wouldn’t mind having many of the cars in that video.

    • Ownbestenemy

      If you get a Gran Turino though you hate Asians. This is known.

      • Pope Jimbo

        It is not known. At least Hmong the people I hang out with.

      • Ownbestenemy

        That pussy bitch from the movie completely groveled over the role years after.

  27. prolefeed

    Re the ATF nominee giving a “wrong” definition of an “assault rifle”:

    An actual assault rifle is something that a member of the military would use to assault an enemy position. Also known as a fully automatic rifle or a machine gun, or, in the 2nd Amendment,”arms” you can “keep and bear”.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Here’s the thing: it doesn’t matter and an assault rifle is whatever the relevant regulation or rule defines it as as far as they’re concerned. Stating the correct definition simply brands you as a wrongthinker.

      • The Hyperbole

        I thought “assault rifle” was a made up term and it didn’t have a “correct definition”

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        And the legal meaning I suppose.

      • prolefeed

        The non-legal definition leftists seem to use for “assault weapon” is “any rifle or pistol, especially if it is black, unless it’s a museum piece.”

      • Count Potato

        I think you mean “assault weapon”. That is a completely made up political/legal term.

    • Ownbestenemy

      So glad that the news reported on the affects of such actions, like how much money restaurants sunk into defending themselves.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      It also lets them avoid causing a very clearly defined tort doesn’t it? It’s now moot.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Careful, you will summon the spirit of Roberts with that phrase.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        He has spirit? Could have fooled me.

  28. Ownbestenemy

    I know the answer if FYTW but how do you get charged with harassment when others are on your property or threatening to enter your property

  29. KSuellington

    Apropos of nothing, I cancelled my Comcast service this past month due to the fact that I have largely quit sports. I’ll save 80 bucks a month by doing so and the internet we got is even faster. I told them the reason was woke bullshit invading sports.

    My present only sport (aside from women’s pole vaulting) is now Formula 1 (howdy slum!). This season has really been great so far. The first five races have all been exciting and I’m happy that Lewis Hamilton and Mercedes are not leading. They had a disastrous Monaco last Sunday and I hope to see them dethroned this year by Red Bull and Verstappen. There is some great midfield action too. I don’t know how many Glibs follow it, but it’s worth a watch and has an absolute minimum of political bullshit and no ads during the race itself which is very nice. The upcoming race in Baku, Azerbaijan is a fun street circuit.

    • slumbrew

      Yeah, it’s been an enjoyable year – did you spring for the F1TV package?

      Monoco is sort of a boring, processional race but I was cackling at Hamilton raging on the radio. I was also cringing as Bottas’ pit stop went on, and on, and on… he can’t catch a break.

      I’m still hoping Danny Ric can get his shit together with that car. It’s been a rough start for him.

      • KSuellington

        Yeah I sprung for the F1 Pro deal. Not a bad deal if you want to see all the races. Monaco is cool, but yes, it is far from the most exciting race venue, it’s all about qualifying times there. That was fun, and Verstappen would have likely gotten pole if LeClerx hadn’t crashed there at the end. Norris has been the standout for McLaren, he had a great weekend there. I was happy to see Mercedes melt down there as it’s been too much watching them dominate for the last years. I do like Bottas much more than Hamilton so it sucks he caught that break there with the pit. I think you’ll like the Baku street circuit a lot.

      • slumbrew

        Norris has been fantastic. Him lapping Riccardo had to humiliating for Riccardo.

        I was reading today F1 is contemplating adopting the “cause a red flag in qualifying, get a penalty” rule Indycar and others have, which makes total sense.

    • Shpip

      I’m happy to see that this year isn’t Mercedes every time, all the time, too. I’m a fan of road racing in general (F1, Indy, IMSA/Weathertech, etc) and I got a kick out of seeing NASCAR try to negotiate the Circuit of the Americas in the wet. It was like watching some fat guys on roller skates trying to get through a hockey rink obstacle course.

      • KSuellington

        Heheh, I like the analogy.

        Yup, slum, even though I like LeClerc as a racer I was glad he didn’t get to keep pole in that way as he ended the session earlier than it should. It looked like Verstappen had the pace to get tops. .

  30. DEG

    I looked out the window while I was replacing some blinds. I noted how dark it got as the storm came in, and then I saw the trees rocking and rolling in the wind. I said, “I’m going to lose power.”

    A minute later, the power goes out. It went out for only about a minute.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Unprecedented! Unheard of! News at 11.

      • DEG

        I know you’re joking, but what follows is serious.

        Short power outages during storms were, until about two years ago, unprecedented. Power outages due to storms would last multiple days. The power company got bought a few years back, and the acquiring company provided adult supervision AKA money for tree trimming. Power outages due to storms started shortening up. Starting about two years ago or so, if I lost power due to a storm for a few hours, that was a long outage.

        I can now see a rainbow as the storm is moving out.

      • westernsloper

        Same thing happened to me last Fri. I only lost power for an hour or so and my CoOp really kind of sucks but they do a bunch of tree trimming. My thought whenever I see the guys and bucket trucks out there is, when does the tree trimming expense exceed horizontal drilling the line down the side of the road and never having to trim a tree again?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Burying power lines is very expensive. Right of ways, cutting roots, not cutting other buried utilities including the ones that everybody forgot about, cutting into roads, pissy neighbors who don’t want them working in their yard, etc…

      • westernsloper

        Oh I know it is expensive, but this is not a big city and sold right…….? Who knows. The utility already owns the right of way since the poles are there. Cutting roots I am ignorant about but a fifty year old tree would probably survive a 4 inch hole through their roots I am guessing in my ignorance. And they would not be working in any yards they would be working in the already legal right of way and be gone in a few days.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I think cause I have lived almost half my life in a monsoon prone area we are used to the short bursts of storms and high winds that might knock out power. We have so many that moved to here in Nevada and they are all “this weather has never happened before!” It is maddening.

    • KSuellington

      Biden’s America there for you.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I laughed. I wished we had unhinged cultural influence like the left does. It would make it all a bit more sunny.

      • KSuellington

        Heh. I’d be ecstatic if classical liberalism/libertarianism could have half the cultural influence of the left. But the one thing we got is way better humor, the left these days is utterly devoid of it. They are also now the status quo, so they are ripe for being torn down by the youngins that need to rebel against the man.

      • Gender Traitor

        Maybe that’s why they’re trying to tear down the young’uns with fear.

      • Tundra

        Judging from the young’uns in my world, it ain’t working.

      • Gender Traitor

        ?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Their humor consists of equating their ideological opponents with troglodytes. That’s it, that’s all they’ve got, because everything else is offensive to somebody that matters.

      • KSuellington

        One of the reasons why I think that theirs will be a short lived reign. They will be brought down (in part) by their humorlessness.

  31. westernsloper

    I must say the Carls Juniors Tex Mex commercial was way better than the old Ford commercials.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      them ther Ford Commercials was Purty Funny, Ayup!

    • Ownbestenemy

      Is Carl’s Juniors where Epstien, Gates, Sandusky, et al shopped at?

  32. Gender Traitor

    Wednesday Night Prayer Meeting Edition of GlibFit: Just did 45 minutes on the treadmill at 3 mph. Missed my usual Butts & Guts class at the Y last night because we went to the local minor league baseball game. (Our first since 2019!!!) Can’t swim tomorrow night because I have a hair doctor appointment. Considered swimming tonight, but decided to do the treadmill instead – penance for being weak (and bored) at work and succumbing to the siren song of Grandma’s Chocolate Chip Cookies. Hope I mostly burned ’em off just now.

      • Gender Traitor

        ::takes a bow. Falls over::

      • UnCivilServant

        *quietly stands GT back up*

    • B.P.

      Keep at it. I’ve taken up running again after a long, long hiatus. I used to be a really avid runner (30-40 miles a week) and just let life get in the way. Last night I logged four miles with the dog. For our efforts, we got to see a guy walking a goat on a leash in the park. This is in a largish US city, mind you.

  33. commodious spittoon

    re: Joemala

    Guessing Asterix snaps and starts slitting throats in a few episodes.