Ah! Distinctly I remember
It was deep in COVID-ember
And the months had run together
So much faster than before
Eagerly I wished the morrow
Vainly I had sought to borrow
From the Glibs surcease of sorrow
Or at least from this night’s bore
For I’d seen all radiant streaming
And now Netflix was a chore
And Disney+ I did abhor
In there opened wide the shutter
And while I grappled it and sputtered
On my laptop stepped a lonely kitten
Jumping from the floor
Not a minute stopped or stayed he
Not a moment’s succor gave me
But squatted down upon my Space key
And horked a hairball on the 4
Blurped that upchuck purposefully
As he stared at me for sure
Then he told me: “Feed me more”
While I nodded, nearly napping
Suddenly there came a-tapping
Like four paws were softly trotting, trotting
‘Cross my tiled floor
“Thou hast eaten,” I now muttered
Sleep now please, it’s half past four”
Quoth the kitten: “Feed me more”
Regrettably, it started mewing ..
Nipping on my toes, and stewing
Pricking with its claws askewing
Faux desperation, nothing more…
Quoth the kitten: “Feed me more”
Angrily, I wheel’d a-roundrel
“Damned cat, thou dost art a scoundrel
I scarce can see the bottom of your food dish
‘Neath kibble galore”
Quoth the kitten: “Feed me more”
I thought I was the Big Kahuna
As he becried his tump’s lacuna
I opened up a can of tuna
Scooped it in a bowl, and set that
Down upon the gleaming floor
Done, he gazed at me — not hateful
But not really all that grateful
Waddled over, then set upon me
With a squeaky, plaintive roar
Quoth the kitten: “Feed me more.”
First they came for the Firsters, and you did not speak out—
Because you were not a Firster.
An axe-wielding Glib came firsting
At the moment I was thirsting
For a liquid lunch while working
Of a Friday dearth in workly things to do.
Of imaginary murders
Did his avatar much further
My desire to play hooky
And I’ll raise a brew in toast to all of you!
Now that deserves the butt slap and nod #1
My Firsts are an inspiration. They bring out the best in humanity, even when I’m being persecuted for my greatness.
Kitteh!!!
Bravo!
Zulu!
/dips ensign
Kittah!
Fun stuff, I enjoyed it, thanks!
wild applause
*Standing Ovation*
???
Well done, quite the insight into the mind of a cat. The one on the left looks just like mine. He’s very lovable, until he suddenly decides he needs to bite or scratch you.
The matriarch of the household pride is a tuxedo. She’s into the rough love. She’ll accept a few pets but then the head comes around and *chomp*.
I don’t understand cats.
Cats rule, dogs drool.
Cats are furniture ornaments that smell
My pussies never smelled (litter box excepted).
Love it! I want to do a reading of this.
SO TRUTHY!!! We have a “continuous feeder” for our cats’ food, but our black cat is a shameless moocher whenever we’re having chicken or fish, especially salmon (which we usually have on Friday.) He won’t leave us alone until it’s all gone. Our own fault, I know.
I’m completely partial, but black cats are the best!
Bravo!!!
My black cat Sophie is so fat she fills half my card table an knocks shit over, slimecat
Bravo!
Covid is misogynist. Maybe now it’ll be canceled…
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2021/jun/13/why-are-women-more-prone-to-long-covid
Is the answer that covid is much more fatal to men?
Length doesn’t matter.
Probably accumulation of cleaved spike proteins in their ovaries.
Not all women have ovaries!!!1!
And shesticles
If I’m to follow the science, and why wouldn’t I, they should just identify as men and then they’ll be fine.
This doesn’t appear to be about long COVID infections, but rather about persistent issues (dare I say complaints?) after someone has cleared COVID. That is an important distinction.
Chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia are notorious in the medical community as psychosomatic conditions. The medical equivalent of “soft tissue injuries” in the personal injury business – difficult to impossible to pin down, much less treat. There may (or may not!) be an actual underlying physical issue. Its possible that there is an auto-immune component, but as far as I know that is unconfirmed.
If the media tells everyone that COVID will cause problems for months or years after the infection is cleared, some people will imagine that every single thing slightly wrong with them is “long COVID”.
The same reason they’re more prone to fibromyalgia.
Nice.
You make me miss Darby Conley and the comic strip’Get Fuzzy’.
Reminds me of “Mutts.” Or, I should say, “Muttsh.” https://mutts.com/
Voici: https://www.gocomics.com/getfuzzy/
Is he back to stripping, or are they still running old strips? Last I heard he had gone to strictly Sunday strips before they stopped as well. I hope he is back.
Hobbes the Tiger has made some cameo’s in Berke Breatheds Bloom County, appearing with Opus and Milo. You can see it on Facederp (tone of the only reasons to be on that wretched platform)
Oh, didn’t realize. You’re right, ’09 reruns currently.
Outstanding.
???
We had a cat when we lived in San Diego and when I brought home saku block tuna and had trimmings, I could make him dance.
By comically shooting at his feet?
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0742652/quotes/qt4191644
RIP Herb.
Awesome. The cats, too.
Wow.
10/10
Miaow ?? / meow ??
I really hope that book is about improvisational jazz vocals.
OT: Bret Weinstein’s podcast about the Lil Rona vaccine was removed from youtube for violating community standards.
It is available on Player FM.
Something that we could all see coming from 1000 miles away.
*rummage around in junk drawer for my shocked face*
It’s creepy how they’re removing discussions with medical doctors.
Hell, when they removed that roundtable with DeSantis with doctors and epidemiologists, they said “it’s contrary to the consensus regarding COVID-19”. Does nobody see a fucking problem with that? Does nobody see the steps they’re going through?
1. Declare a consensus on a topic
2. If any experts in the field publicly disagree, remove their content on the grounds that it’s “contrary to the consensus”
3. Repeat
They didn’t just remove a discussion with a medical doctor, they removed a discussion with the guy who actually invented mRNA vaccines.
What would he know anyway, Fauci said they’re safe. I’m sure Fauci worked out the bugs in his home lab just to pass the time during the lockdowns.
Quite true. After all, Dr. Fauci is Science and Science is Dr. Fauci. He said so himself.
No worries you can host that content on another web site that also hosts people spouting hatred and discussing aliens and UFOs.
It’s the systematic enforcement of an echo chamber. How long can it last before people who know better find alternate channels that work to facilitate debate rather than doctrine?
You assume there is some groundswell on the left to hear balanced discussion from right wing sources. As far as I can tell, the left is mostly cheering this on (minus a few outliers) and the right is just whinging about taking the brunt of it. They’re gonna whinge themselves into oblivion at this rate.
We are entering the Dark Ages v2.0.
I actually watched that on YouTube at 1.5x speed because I figured they would cancel it before I finished it if I ran at normal speed.
started good but the cats ruined it for me
Makes sense…
https://toothpickings.medium.com/vampire-pussy-104437abaa47
Now for something that entertains me. Cities in Ohio may have budget issues come July due to DeWine’s final emergency orders being lifted. After looting the workers forever, what happens when there’s no need to go into an office and provide a locus for you to loot them?
Being taxed based on where you work has always pissed me off, since it’s not like you got to vote for anything in that city.
It’s all OK, your employer gets to affect the political discourse on your behalf the old fashioned way–donating to reelection funds and nonprofits owned by politicians’ families.
/looks at work’s e-mails about Juneteenth and AAPI month and…
Great, at least I know they’re representing my interests.
AAPI looks like some sort of trade group or professional society.
I just keep reading it as Apple, and just think the person missed capping the L at the end of the ticker symbol. Took me a couple times to shift that mental gear.
Now I can’t unsee it!
Then of course, my brain runs into the Rick and Morty episode with Hungry for Apples as the pathetic ad campaign that Jerry tries to sell.
APPL made more sense to me then creating a whole new acronym to lump together a bunch of disparate cultures.
Then there’s how many AAPI lumped people view other AAPIs. View that would make a bog standard racist blush. No wait, it’s really not different than how different Euro ethnicities view each other.
While I am well aware human memory of past weather is very unreliable I am ready to call this year as having the heaviest rains I ever saw in Bucharest
also I managed to misspell this in such a way the spellchecker offered joist as a correction
Maybe you should remove the beam from your eye?
At least it’s not a stake.
You wood say that.
Rafter all of that, I think we all need a break from board-dom.
To be blunt, these puns are pointless.
But they are fun to deconstruct.
Well, if you frame it that way…
Swissy’s gonna lumber in here and gaze at us narrowly.
He does always hammer his point home.
Surely you joust.
And he only comes out at knight.
Don’t you guys ever get board of these constant puns?
I find myself pining for them sometimes.
It’s these little chestnuts that keep me reading here.
STEVE SMITH WILLING TEACH CRITICAL RAPE THEORY.
PRACTICAL EXAM SUCH A PAIN IN ASS TO STUDY FOR
Scrolled down and fucking laughed out loud very hard at this picture:
Um, got a message that “you’re posting too quickly – slow down” and then it omitted my link for some reason… Don’t tread on me!!
https://twitter.com/GhostBert/status/1405509629925367814
SWISS SERVATOR NARROWS GAZE. STEVE SMITH WIDENS GAYS. AND ANYONE ELSE WITHIN REACH.
BY “BY TO X MEAN…” MEAN…
Looks like Steve Smith cucked and didn’t spell out “rape” because he’s afraid of being banned. It’s truly a sad day for rapesquatches everywhere.
Gourmet Seafood Lasagna by Gennaro Esposito | Torre del Saracino
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WT4Oatu8MlI
this is probably the thing you want to eat at a fancy restaurant cause you aint making this at home
Haha, yea that’s doing too much. Just squeeze a packet of pre-made Starkist tuna salad onto some tortilla chips. Done.
And in the category things you can do at home but should not
Carrot Bacon – You Suck at Cooking
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHdf_wX6cSw
I like You Suck at Cooking but it was funnier in the past it is getting a taad old for me
If I hear the word ‘sustainable’ with regards to food production one more time… I’m going to cast ashes on my head and rend my garments.
Mean girls.
Teachers are the female version of cops. Most of them have never matured beyond the level of middle school girls either intellectually or emotionally.
I can dismiss other people’s butthurt all day long, but this looks like a deliberate snub, which is a dick move.
Probable deliberate snub. In most schools, the Downs girl would be elected prom queen and the Downs kid would be allowed to run for a touchdown or get a Little League homerun on a swinging bunt.
@Tulip and @Straffinrun — I thought you might enjoy this.
Gilmored. Dammit.
Mask report:
3 stores
LOTS of people (I was actively looking) (mostly because I was bored standing in line for 20 minutes)
2 people masked (fraction of a percentage) to unmasked (they looked younger than I)
no employees masked at any store
I think I saw one customer and one employee masked at Kroger (which is reportedly the largest Kroger in the Midwest after the expansion several years ago). The local neighborhood meat market and sandwich shop had nobody masked at all.
Shop-Rite in Philly burbs this morning – probably 35% still masked and almost 100% of them were elderly. Store asks that only the unvaccinated wear masks.
Weird one I saw this week: someone wearing a bandana mask. If you are the kind of person who is going to wear a mask with zero chance of doing any good, why are you still wearing it?
Preparing to rob a stagecoach?
Heh.
I had a question for Pie recently about a novel I read when I was young, set in Romania. I couldnt remember the title though. I am at my Mom’s and I found it. It was Yugoslavia, not Romania. I googled and noticed a movie was made of it in 2011…it says Croatia. I guess they updated to modern times.
Koko and the Ghost, for anyone familiar.
Anyway, all those weird eastern european names sound alike.
that is racist slav and romanian names are not alike
Some are exactly the same. The email address with my first name always gets a lot of Romanian spam.
well if it were up to me people with slavic names would be sent to camps
…and we’d be a lot happier…
Just thinking (after too many beers)- if Juneteenth is now a FedGov holiday, whats next ?
A week off w/pay for Kwanzaa ?
A week off for Juneteenth. From 13 to 19. It’s right there in the name! All June days with “teen” in them.
I am shocked to discover that USPS will deliver mail today and tomorrow rather than abruptly closing with less than a day’s notice.
Our campus announced it was closing about two hours after Biden signed the bill. I assume they had the e-mail draft and were just waiting for word.
Who Should Ireland Support in the Euros? | Foil Arms and Hog
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTQPzfvkqhk
Foil Arms and Hog is funny
The Irish are still mad at the Brits for not giving them independence.
So of course they support the EU, which doesn’t give them (or anyone else) independence.
Good news everyone!
https://www.oregon.gov/oem/emops/Pages/2021-Chlorine-Shortage.aspx
“Equipment failure”
Sabotaged?
Can’t stand it, I know you planned it.
Imma set straight this Watergate.
Oh my God its a mirage
Since I already have it turned to 11, and the Beasties are banging off the tin walls of the Palatial 2X-Wide, if you’re not gonna link it….I’ll do it.
I heard about this a month ago. People were scrambling to get chlorine for their pools. We stocked up, then noticed… there was no shortage, you can still find plenty of pool chlorine. But we do have a supply for the rest of the year, so that’s good.
Let’s try this again, in the right place this time.
@Tulip and @Straffinrun — I thought you might enjoy this.
She does a great job of explaining it. One of the few art courses I took in college was a color theory course, and we did those same exercises using acrylics.
I’ve been playing around with my watercolors. I am woeful and possibly hopeless.
Have you given thought to pursuing macaroni art ?
I’d rather doodle a dandy.
Wish you lived closer, I taught my share of watercolor classes.
I would love that!
I have design foundations and drawing 1 this fall semester. I figure eventually I’ll get to watercolors if I keep going after this semester.
The ultimate goal is to be able to draw and paint from my head, not needing to look at something.
If you’re illustrating books, or even just doing preliminary ideas for illustrations, watercolor is great. Is there a way I can contact you? I’d do a Zoom lesson. First one’s free. 🙂
Yes, I want to illustrate my books. My problem with watercolor is that I’m unable to control the pigment or the water, even when I follow YouTube tutorials.
My email is moriah at moriahjovan dot com, and I would love a zoom lesson, thanks!
Ok, sent you an email.
And back. Thanks!
I’m irked.
The killer in this Kojak episode is explicitly being stated as using an ‘M-15’. They repeated it several times. The weapon they show is clearly in the AR family and it appears the writer couldn’t decide if it was an AR-15 or an M-16.
Well…
They showed the weapon, it was in the AR family, and they explicitly stated the cartridges are .223. It was not an M14 relative.
It was the ‘70s, baby! They were too busy doing blow and going to key parties to bother with firearms nomenclature minutiae.
The weapon they show is clearly in the AR family
So, not an M-14 or M-15.
I don’t know why I find this next part so funny, because it’s actually just sensible filmmaking.
They have a scene where a character gets shot and tumbles down a fire escape and stops on the landing. Now it appears to be either a real steel fire escape in either a location shoot or a very good set. So to protect the stuntman’s head they have an old mattress (no springs, just padding) draped over the rail where he’s supposed to stop. I had notice the mattress in an earlier part of the scene, but because it was supposed to be a garbage strewn flophouse, I didn’t attach any significance to it.
Yet I can’t help but laugh.
Targeting Biden, Catholic Bishops Advance Controversial Communion Plan
Please. They will, as always, find a sympathetic priest and be able to take communion. This is just another way in which to club Catholics who actually wish to follow their faith.
/s – nonreligious, non-Catholic
I made it to:
Before tapping out. Because ignoring the teachings of the faith is kind of the opposite of being religiously observant in the Catholic Church.
+ 1 Islam is right about women
They say that, yet I don’t recall a single photo op of Biden going to church, reports of him consulting with his priest, etc. I see no reason whatsoever to believe he is religiously observant at all.
Contrast with Reagan and Bush Jr., at a minimum.
Article has a pic. That said I don’t remember Reagan’s religiosity, but Bush 2 was most definitely.
Article also has a paywall. The brief glimpse I got appeared to be an inauguration event.
Supposedly devout Catholic and supporting abortion and gay marriage…
About as “observant” as the current crop of Reform “Jews” who compare Israel to Nazi Germany.
I’d also point out that I’m not exactly going to trust the New York Times to give a breakdown on what constitutes being religiously observant. Hell, I’m not even sure I would trust them to write up the basics of Catholicism.
And goes to communion (allegedly) as well.
Religiously observant by admitting he’s committed adultery by lusting after other women. Rather than just doing it unrepentantly like most politicians?
Do you really think anyone in DC goes to church regularly, outside of the occasional photo op?
If the Church actually had stones, they’d be excommunicating supposed members that publicly repudiate church teachings on what the church claims are serious moral issues, not worry about communion.
Yup.
excommunicating . . . not worry about communion.
Erm… excommunicate means not being allowed to take communion.
I thought it meant more than that. I thought it was more like banishment from the Catholic Church, not being allowed to do everything except line up for your wafer and wine.
Hahaha, now do the part about stealing…
I was about to post for Pie that I’ve got a Romanian flick on DVD – but then I checked and ‘Zift’ is a Bulgarian flick – close enough. Remember it being good, but I think I need to add it to my rewatch pile.
I am beginning to see a pattern
All you guys look the same to us
Fuck California.
A lil’ Friday T&A.
https://archive.li/wKr8W
Wait, I thought Canada was on lock down.
https://twitter.com/TheMarieOakes/status/1405880669847404546
They have time to tear down a statue, in the middle of a pandemic?
I’d have thought they’d be busier picking up all the dead bodies in the streets.
“Social justice” is immune to the Wuhan Flu. It is known.
Bravo, good sir!
BTW, Shpip, I’m late to the party, but eff me, that was a great take-off/parody of Poe’s “The Raven”!
“But squatted down upon my Space key
And horked a hairball on the 4”
Lovely.
Author! Author!