Tales of the Belt
Mi llamo es Paolo Escobar Olmos, sorry for the slip of the tongue, please call me Paul.
We began as a small gang on Earth, trading in goods and services that at the time were forbidden and carried great penalties, including Death. We found a leader in the Trejo, the great redeemer of our people, he showed us how to go legit and make even more money. When Elon offered The Risk, we as a people jumped at the chance for the new growth, and as you know, his gambles always pay off, so we were Vatos among the planets, que no? and back then, the Amazon wasn’t what it turned into, yet.
By the late 21c. We had established ourselves in a nice ‘roid cluster we call El Barrio, and proceeded to take business from Martian Security, inc. until one day when our Pachuco made them an offer. He walked up to the CEO’s office and placed an Origami Unicorn on her desk, no one refused him, and so, we took control of the Company. The Belters had some concerns, but we proved to be just what was needed in the coming decades.
At the time we had a good foothold in the security sector, Ships and infantry, good intel, but still we were out matched by the Amazon Empire, who continued to crush every business in its path, ours included. We weren’t about to be crushed like the Cockroaches we are, so We joined the Alliance. After the Demise, we emerged as the largest security company in the solar system, and we mean business. Our tech is state of the art, and the Chinee are afraid of us, because we have the ability to cloak, and our armament is the latest Tesla drive plasma guns, the thieves haven’t got that tech yet, so they stay away from our ops.
Our ships carry the shape of the Sacred ‘64 Impala, in Galaxy Blue, with airbrushed star fields and twice pipes. The ship I serve is called La Bamba, the Bomb, and I’m the nav tech. We are presently on a stealth run to a Discoverers claim, running at High G ahead of them to scope out the scene and await his arrival, he expects trouble, and we can provide plenty of that. The plan is typical, elegant and unpredictable, we trail the L points and maintain cloaked stations, with the T drives we can be fully charged and ready to fire, no need to spool up after the usual Decloak, the Fusion drives are independent, why didn’t Romulus LLC think of that?
So we wait..
“Low, Rider, get a little Higher”
,War 20c.
Our ships carry the shape of the Sacred ‘64 Impala,
I laughed.
TV Antanna, in the back,
Yup! Clever segment, Yusef!
We’re going to need more drugs where we’re going.
Speaking of, this is going on down the street from me.
“ This Thursday at 8 pm, we’re going to host a mystical campfire in our backyard at redacted. The idea is to have a non-judgmental, non-dogmatic space to discuss personal spiritual experiences however normal or weird they are. It will be completely informal. If you just want to come and listen, that’s fine too. Please RSVP so I will put enough chairs out.”
Sounds like the perfect opportunity to do shrooms and crash the party.
I only write like I’m on drugs, I’m just a stoner,
I once hitched a ride with the ghost of Hank Williams v1.0 in his ghost Cadillac.
Sweet
He walked up to the CEO’s office and placed an Origami Unicorn on her desk, no one refused him, and so, we took control of the Company.
I missed something here.
’64 Impala. Nice choice.
Nobody tells Edward James Olmos no.
Yusef is his Father in BSG you know,
“He say you BladeRunner”
@DEG
It was a subtle touch. I liked it.
But then again, I’m a science fiction nerd.
You are my target audience, I’m getting into this story, lots of fun ahead!
A Blade Runner reference?
That would be why I missed it. I haven’t seen that movie in years.
the entire bit is full of references to culture, Easter eggs if you will,
I wish I was a little bit taller. I wish I was a baller. I wish I had a girl who looked good (I would call her). I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat, and a ’64 Impala.
I want a ’63 2 door Galaxie, painted Galaxy Blue, with airbrushed stars and Chrome surf racks on the deck,
One of my grandfathers had a Galaxie. I think it was a 500. I remember it being a nice car.
Apropos
Wrong color, but also apropos. I took that picture at the Atlantic Nationals Car Show in Moncton, New Brunswick.
Nice fairlane!
The best of those vato Impala’s was the ’62. Preferably with a 409/4 speed.
Dammit. Now I want to watch Machete Kills… In Space!
Sorry, the Trejo passed away at the beginning of the Risk, and didn’t get to see his works, he will be missed.
At least we have https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qnEya13CKlg
I knew Trejo long before he was famous. His tag line back when was, ” I’d rather shoot for the moon and miss than shoot for the gutter and make it!”
He was the Redeemer of our people, Space Vatos!
Another line he used a lot was, ” Some people end up drinking cheap wine in an alley, I started out drinking cheap wine in an alley!”
I knew him from an AA meeting.
He is an honestly good Man, hence his reverence in the tale,
I got nothin’ against him. Used to see him every Wednesday night for about three years or so back in the eighties.
Wednesday night was bike night at that meeting. Sometimes 50-60 Harleys and a crazy cast of characters. Lotta wild stuff happened there. Good times.
Keep coming back
Once you get past the crack, you’ve got it licked!
There are 3D printer files to make Deckard’s pistol on the internet. Naturally I had to make a copy. Took something well in excess of 30 hours of machine time. Balance isn’t bad, but the dual triggers are too close for comfort. It’s got a ridiculous Steyer receiver bolted on top.
That said I liked the idea of what is essentially a combo of a rail gun and conventional revolver. It’s just so damn retro futuristic. I also never knew it had these ridiculous shiny amber resin grips.
https://royalarmouries.org/stories/popular-culture/the-blade-runner-blaster-collecting-cultures/
The actual Bulldog it is based on must be God awful to shoot. Light, small with a big cartridge. Ouch! The move prop since it was built from two firearms must be ridiculously heavy.
Straßenkreuzer. We had a Ford Galaxie when I was a wee lad in Germany. He had to sell his 289 Fairlane when we were in Florida, after I was born. I heard about it more than a few times. Worse, he had a ’57 Chevy Belair Coupe he had to sell when he married my mom. She refused to learn to drive a manual transmission.
I grew up with Galaxies, and i love them way more than impalas, but the Fury 2 was a beast,
Ford guys vs Chevy guys vs Chrysler guys. The good old days. Dad was always a Ford man, except for all that Spanish pussy he got in that Chevy. Chrysler was right out.
Ford is durable, Chevy is laid iut nice on the interior, My Dodge Ramcharger was like driving yor living room, ’76, full time 4×4, badass
Exactly, late 70’s American cars. Living rooms on wheels.
All of these cars are/were OK. The small block Chevy is the greatest engine ever created by a wide margin. It’s been everywhere and won most everything. Capable of just about any amount of horsepower you want, at a fraction of the cost of the others. There’s a reason it was the most popular platform for decades, only eclipsed by the LSX nowadays.
As a non GM guy I painfully have to agree on both points.
You hear about… the adventures of his Ford Fairlane?…
I’ll see myself out.
Another little tidbit, I spent a year at the same juvenile institution that Ritchie Valen’s ( who sang “La Bamba” brother was sentenced to, only about two decades later.
When i was young i was in rehab with the bass player from Porno for Pyros.
Did he, in fact, make a great pet?
Jane said he was,
Dad bought a ’63 Bel Air wagon with a 289, three on the tree and overdrive. It was the first new car he ever bought.
Ten years later I bought a ’63 Bel Air sedan with a 6 and three on the tree.
I have a fondness for old Chevies.
Mine was so bare-bones that it had zero add-on options. Instead of an engine temp gauge it had two idiot lights, “COLD” and “HOT”. In the Azores we seldom needed heat and would routinely take the thermostat out of the engine. I was driving one night in a heavy rain storm and the “COLD” light came on.
OT: head to effin’ toe poison ivy. Couldn’t leave well enough alone after the first encounter with the shit. Of course I had to go bathe in it a second time. Now it’s all over my face, torso, arms, legs, erm… sensitive parts…, every-fucking-where. Thankfully I have the prescription cream because I think I’d scratch my skin off otherwise.
Everybody does the privates. Do you at least now know where it is?
You need to quit golfing till all that shit dies, at least I can wear Tick collars on my anlkes. Maybe wear scrubs over your shorts?
Are the tick collars working for you?
Very well, I wear them on my socks, not my skin
excellent
Gonna take an ocean
of calimine lotion
Sorry.
That sucks. Did like popping those blisters when I was a kid, though.
I get deep into the shit like you trashy, I keep scrubs at hand for Poision oak shots, and wear Tick collaras on the ankles, I want to play without the yuckys,
I keep Crossbow and Tordon on hand for poison oak, myself. Discovered it growing back in two spots where I killed it back earlier this year.
Yeah, I need to get some of that teknu stuff to toss into the bag. This second exposure was because I was doing some woods clearing work with Habitat. We were neck deep in the stuff for hours. I tried to be careful, but evidently not careful enough. Reminds me to toss the gloves I used. Not worth trying to clean them.
The DG course I play most often recently moved a basket from a good location into a bed of poison ivy, which is how I got it in the first place. I’ll be going elsewhere from now on.
Wood-powered lawnmower.
115F at 7pm in Portland. It’s 69F and falling at our house. And that’s outside temperature. Might have to turn the heat on at this rate.
WTF? what happened up there?
Hot air mass stalled out over the NW.
Maybe a little low for frying.
https://twitter.com/TheDreamsFar/status/1409675084764127233?s=20
Another 50 degrees more would be about the right temp for Portland.
Imperial Ale, with Coffee flavored ice cream and Hersheys Chocloate syrup, that’s Heaven,
For dinner I ate about a third of a half gallon of Breyer’s vanilla ice cream that has been sitting in my deep freezer, unopened for over a year. I kept forgetting about it. It actually isn’t bad–it has a little bit of ice crystallization throughout, but the texture is mostly normal and the flavor is fine. I did not expect it to be all that good, but it definitely held up OK.
Desperately needed the coolness–it, along with some cold berry cobbler the GF made over the weekend is my dinner tonight.
Iced Tea or cold beer, stay cool buddy,
I polished off half a pint of this on Saturday and the other half Sunday. Which was gluttonous for me. It was on sale for 1/2 of what that website is showing. I might have to go back and stock up. That shit is the bomb.
Cookies and Cream ice cream is one of my top 3 flavors:
1. Strawberry
2. Cookies and Cream
3. Mint Chocolate Chip
4. Butter Pecan
5. Anything with black cherry
Needs moar Chocolate and Raspberry,
I love those both, and will frequently choose them over my top five listed above. I love ice cream so much it’s hard to really choose favorites.
I love 1 and 3 too, and I might add a good cookie dough.
Breyer’s made a coffee/fudge with chocolate chunks in a previous lifetime that was amazeballs. It came in these plastic tubs. Haven’t seen it in decades but my brother and I were addicted to it for awhile.
This common core math is getting weird.
Last night I ate 1.5 quarts of Caramel Pecan Turtle Sundae ice cream after dinner. Dinner was 8 jalapeno poppers doused in blue cheese and about 1.25 pounds of a pizza.
Gotta eat right to stay as ripped as I am.
The kid sent me a message asking me to hide the TV remote from her today. No idea what that’s all about.
Count your blessings and do it.
Normally she has a Charleton Heston grip on the thing. But, yeah, I’ll hide it.
Working out a pitch for Hideo Nakata?
Next round of culchur waRz.
https://nypost.com/2021/06/28/tom-cotton-wants-gwen-berry-off-us-team-over-anthem-protest/amp/?__twitter_impression=true
I can’t get past the tatts and whatever that is on her lips.
I want people to stop politicizing everything, and that goes for both of those idiots.
How do we break this stupid cycle?
Instead of doing it by country, people should compete based on their political ideology.
Brand loyalty
Tower block – https://images.app.goo.gl/oeAh9TFso8Y2KZfV6
For some strange reason, zonked out mid-afternoon and woke up around 11pm. It feels like a waste to go back to sleep, but I also can’t afford to be dead tired when I’m on the road 🙁
Are you in a hotel somewhere? I’m sure you can find something entertaining on TV.
Then I’d have to touch the hotel remote.
I have no idea where that thing’s been.
Well, you don’t have to touch it directly.
::mumbles something about gloves::
Are you awake or are you sleep posting?
I’m awake. Pondering going to bed, but not really that sleepy – combo of caffeine & a short nap late afternoon.
I’m dabbling at Silver Lotus while debatin when to nap some more.
I decided that the ceremony should make use of the temple for which Spindelkirka was named. After all, if you’re going to have a formal ceremony and you’ve got a temple, why not?
I’m also trying to decide on Anton’s surname. Would he be allowed to be associated with either of his blood relations?
Anyway, here’s what I’ve got of the ceremony so far.
Well, it’s time to nap some more.
Night, glibs.
Love your descriptions, as always – in this case, of the script in particular:
Would very much like to see a “sample” of this, if it’s something you could sketch the way you imagine it. I also like the additional info about the two coexisting cultures.
I think I’ll head to bed myself. TT has to be up stupid early for a med test tomorrow. (BTW, he took to bed with him A Certain Book we were just given, to read “just a little” before sleeping.)
Nighty night!
Covid exists in this fantasy world too? Bummer.
https://archive.li/r4tbs/c227727779a6389c8ca7ce273de9cf465ee3d0ac.jpg
NSFW.
https://archive.li/XXLEY/c2eb1def6956be6b0069a0558ccec6232bad6bfb.jpg
NSFW.
https://archive.li/Z25Gm/94b07bd6eb658442722611270a470b875f9b373f.jpg
NSFW.
https://archive.li/i7IXc/78571c8f0f2ac3d1708dc312f000937c37787195.jpg
NSFW.
If you took away the mind reading ability of the modern left (whatever that is), they would be rendered mute. It’s amazing how easy it is for people to switch from giving someone the benefit of the doubt to attributing the absolute worst intentions to those they disagree with. And, not only does the modern left tolerate mind reading, it’s essential to its entire ideology.
Something vexes thee?
Just sick of people telling me what I’m thinking and why I’m doing what I’m doing. It’s arrogance.
exactly
Why wrie anything when your blurbs are twice as lomg?
Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the War Room!
Like being glib around here.
All the restaurants in Everett are closed because it got to 100°. Except for the Mexican place. Ate there twice today. Anyways, it’s 71° in the AC in the hotel suite. Plenty of Jim Beam and Perrier left. We’re out of peanut M&M’s. Just opened the second bag of beef jerky. 2 bottles of pinot grigio chilling just in case. Sunset over the Sound was beautiful. Booked another night for tomorrow, just to bask in the AC. Cable TV is weird.
Been fairly productive work wise as well. Finished two audit reports in today.
I’m digging this heatwave.
https://www.oregonlive.com/business/2021/06/old-town-voodoo-doughnut-staff-walk-out-amid-record-heat.html
https://youtu.be/opk4x7jzRS4
I took some parts to the powdercoater and made the comment they could just spray the powder on them and the leave them out in the sun, no oven needed.
I was planning to go into the office today.
Drank a cup of coffee while pondering the forecast & the state of sogginess in which I would arrive there and noped out of the idea.
I will wait until Thursday when this shit breaks.
Oh really….
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/supreme-court/clarence-thomas-says-federal-laws-against-marijuana-may-no-longer-n1272524
then get a challenge to the federal law to the courts!
Loving the story, Yusef. Kudos on the Blade Runner future Hispanic-Japanese culture blend.
This is a fun Romo through the past, present, and possible future so far!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3tUh-x-fp8Q
?
Morning Sean.
Good morning lads. UCS, did you see the 3d printing GW video someone posted earlier? I t was eye-opening, for me anyway; you can purchase a high quality resin printer and spool of resin to make your titan/monstrous creature for slightly less than the retail cost of an actual GW model of same. Wow!
I did not. I’ve been driving, visiting, or sleeping since friday.
But my first reaction is “Resin? I hate working with resin.” Though I’m pretty sure plastic is an option.
Do you happen to know where the link went?
https://youtu.be/djumZlYSJjE
It was originally linked by Sean. Thanks Sean.
If I took up 3d printing, it would be to make components for kitbashing since I can’t find everything I want to use.
Many moons ago, a buddy and I made RTV molds of the Rogue Trader Dreds. We cast them on the back porch, using molten fishing sinkers. They came out so chonky they were only fit for building into a Freebooterz Dredmob, but they were fun as Hell.
So very orky.
Orks, Squats, and Imperial Guard (horse cavalry, beastmen,
Hobbithalfling cook/sniper era) were my jam.As with anything, mold making and casting takes practice. A few more iterations and you might be closer to the original.
Have you seen my Imperial Abhuman Auxilia conversion images?
I’ll share them anyway.
We’ve got The sergeant and one of the troopers by their transport and The painting assembly line for the whole squad
Sweet!
Mornin UCS & l0b0t.
How are things in your neck of the woods this morning?
My tits are calm and masks are mostly gone except for places I’m not going (planes, govt buildings).
If my commute wasn’t mostly in a construction zone, I’d be a pretty happy camper.
I trust your road trip is going well, other than a mild sunburn. Big plans for today?
Driving home (7.5-8 hours on the road)
Drive fast. Take chances. ?
So I had some spotty sleep through the prime sleeping hours and got up with my alarm. I’ve gotten all set for the new day… and it’s an hour before breakfast opens.
https://www.wfmz.com/news/world/get-an-astronauts-view-of-space-with-these-timelapses/video_290b75da-018e-5fa2-b423-4d2a6b4fd777.html
Neat.
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2021/06/28/tulsa-fire-department-rescues-cat-owner-tree/9861624898880/
Peak beta?
Time to get ready for work. ?
https://www.wfla.com/news/florida/california-bans-state-travel-to-florida-4-other-states/
Imagine thinking that this makes you look like the good guy.
When CA goes Independent, is the first war over
1. Water
2. Electricity
3. Counties that try to leave and rejoin the US?
Refusing to destroy girl sports = bigotry and discrimination
Never change, California.
New Half In The Bag is fun. I’m no friend of the horror movie but I do geek out about the film making aspect of anything.
Steam has a bundle of Far Cry 5 and Far Cry New Dawn for $26. Worth it or nah? I LOVED Far Cry but never played any of the sequels.
I got annoyed when the plot intruded onto the gameplay with 5.
Never played New Dawn.
My favorite part of the first iteration was the multi player. A total free for all on various maps. Is that retained in 5?
No clue. I’m not a multiplayer player.
TT accidentally set his alarm for the wrong “M” to wake him up for his early morning med test appt. Good thing I’m used to waking up this early – I came to just about the time he should have been heading out the door. Good thing, too, that the timer on the coffee maker was set correctly. I got him out the door, travel mug in tow, just about exactly at his appointment time. Happily, it’s only a few minutes up the road.
Well… I’m awake, and the coffee’s ready. Might as well stay up and head out to TB.
Morning.
I’m just getting on the road myself.
Good morning! Enjoy as much as you can, and please be careful out there!
P.S. TT’s bookmark is at “Old Blood.”
Mornin’ Friends! Today was hotter than Hades. I wore my new ball cap to work to keep the sweat out my eyes and never even bothered with the specs because they won’t stay on without a Bubbles strap. The cap had to be rinsed in the sink because it got saturated, along with two terry-towels. At this point I’d rather work nekkid. Mask non-compliance went unremarked upon, so that’s something. My calves will cramp in my sleep this morning, this is certain. More of the same today. I’m a fucking prune.
I’m so sorry you’re suffering! 🙁
The New Kid weatherdude at the local weather powerhouse TV station is predicting a third day in a row above 90 degrees ‘Murican, which would make it official…and give me the perfect cheap, tawdry excuse to post once again my favorite cover of this classic. Tres (if you’re conscious,) you know what this is without clicking. 🙂
Thank’s Red! I’ll abide.
Another terrorist rounded up.
*eyeroll*
She was gonna hit them with her purse ala Ruth Buzzi!
Oh, lordy! I get that reference! I’m SO OLD!!! 🙁
(Fun fact: I used to have a “Sock It To Me” t-shirt. In my defense, I didn’t get it new (as I rarely did – growing up, almost all my clothes were hand-me-downs) – I inherited it from a slightly older neighbor girl. Don’t know why she let it go.)
TBF, we were tiny children back then.
https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/worlds-most-premature-baby-has-celebrated-his-first-birthday/
No one needs four names.
Medical science. Wow! That little feller needs every name for the double-set of balls it took for him to survive.
A relative of mine worked for a few years as a nurse at a very successful neonatal unit in Alabama. They were able to save babies that were extremely pre-term. She said the handling protocols needed are very gentle–as you’d imagine, these babies have extremely delicate skin. She had a picture of a handprint of the earliest one they had–it was amazing how small the hand print was against hers.
Judi went full Alex Jones and taped aluminum foil over the inside of all the south-facing windows last night. We are safe from alien rays.
Either that or the neighbors think we’ve set up a grow-op.
L O L
I don’t remember why we bought it years ago but we happen to own a “restaurant-sized” box of foil. It actually works on the windows as intended.
I never considered that as an option. The air conditioner in my workshop/office here has been overwhelmed the last several days, and I don’t have curtains on the windows…
https://www.breitbart.com/entertainment/2021/06/26/hollywood-reimagining-classic-tv-sitcoms-like-brady-bunch-with-drag-queen-makeovers/
GTFO.
On tonight’s very special episode of “Sick, Sad World”…
They can have NBs yoots smacking down their whitecisheteropartiacrhical parents with vicious twitter burns! It’ll be a goldmine!
This heat is affecting people and not in a good way. I was stuck for two light cycles behind a little sedan that kept rolling forward deeper into the most busy and dangerous intersection here. When It got far enough ahead, I pulled up to the pressure plate and finally triggered the light. It turned green and the car still didn’t budge after a couple of helpful beeps. I got pissed off and pulled around and glance down to see some young lady texting on her phone. By this time the nose of her car was into the cross traffic.
I’m deeply disappointed you did not wield your white power patriarchy over her.
She was a young white girl. My powers were useless.
If it were autumn, you could have lured her the rest of the way through the intersection with some Pumpkin Spice.
????
Author! Author!