Open Post: Pancakes, Waffles, or French Toast?

by | Jul 8, 2021 | Open Post | 316 comments

What is your preference? I prefer french toast, but if I have pancakes they should be buttermilk pancakes and fried in bacon grease.

Do you heat the syrup?  Do you say see-rup or suh-rup?

Do you add butter to the syrup or add it separately?

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Tulip

Tulip

She is mythical.

316 Comments

  1. R C Dean

    French toast.

    Real maple syrup. Not heated (why?).

    Butter goes on, melts, then the syrup.

    Second choice – depends on the pancakes and waffles on offer.

  2. Dr. Fronkensteen

    Pancakes. The only waffles I like are Eggo’s. Which really aren’t waffles. It’s Sir-rup. Butter and syrup go on separately.

  3. waffles

    This is so unfair.

    • Gender Traitor

      I prefer you, waffles! ::gives waffles a big hug:: With raspberries in the batter. I hope that’s OK with you.

      • waffles

        Awww, you made me smile.

      • Sean

        I’ve made low carb waffles with raspberries in the batter. It’s also a good time to use the orange extract. Makes for a flavorful combo.

    • Swiss Servator

      I rather imagined we would hear from you.

  4. Pope Jimbo

    Correct answer is: None of the above.

    • slumbrew

      ^^^ this guy gets it ^^^

      What am I, 8?

      Breakfast means eggs and pork products, not syrup-covered cakes.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        …but if you are going to have one on the side of bacon and eggs, it should be pancakes.

      • Mojeaux

        Breakfast means eggs and pork products, not syrup-covered cakes.

        I’d rather reverse the order myself. I would rather have the syrup-covered cakes in the evening and a savory breakfast.

        Steak (rare) and eggs (runny) (Hollandaise optional)

        OR

        Eggs Benedict

      • Animal

        Eggs Benedict

        Some years ago, I stopped for breakfast at a roadside place that had a big banner proclaiming their specialty: Eggs Benedict.

        Since they seemed so proud, I ordered their specialty, and was a bit surprised when my breakfast was served not on a plate, but on an old Ford hubcap.

        When I asked why, the server replied, “because there’s no place like chrome for the Hollandaise.”

      • Mojeaux

        Where’s Swissy?

      • Rat on a train

        Longsilog – longanisa sausage, fried egg, garlic fried rice

  5. Animal

    Corn dodgers.

  6. Yusef drives a Kia

    All too sweet for me, Peanut butter toast on 12 whole wheat with Kerrygold butter, yummy!

    • rhywun

      Yeah, I don’t like any of them. 🙁
      Especially seer-up.

      But French toast can be savory so I’ll go with that.

  7. The Gunslinger

    Blueberry pancakes. Flip only once. Rub a stick of butter on after flipping and while side #2 is cooking.

    • R C Dean

      And don’t fricking mash the pancakes onto the griddle while they are cooking! Why do people do that?

      • Tulip

        We know it bothers you

      • R C Dean

        True. Like a lot of things people do that are stupid and wrong.

    • Rat on a train

      If I am going to have pancakes, they better have blueberries.

      • Ted S.

        The correct term is “berries of color”.

      • Rat on a train

        Blackberries matter.

  8. waffles

    Waffles are the superior choice for making an icecream sandwich. The other options are just disgusting things to touch without utensils.

    • Tulip

      True

    • Night Watchman

      I must respectfully disagree. This is the superior ice cream sandwich.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        These: https://www.itsiticecream.com

        The ice cream is so-so but the cookie is heavenly.

        Also, Coolhaus.

  9. Fourscore

    My mother’s pancakes were really heavy, my brother loved them, I didn’t. During WW2 my mom worked afternoon shift and always left food prepared for us, (Dad, 3 boys) except on Fridays. Fridays my dad made French toast out of all the leftover bread. Three kids loved it. My vote is French toast. Butter, syrup optional, blueberry or strawberry (or any other) preserves optional. Waffles were not on the Fourscore menu.

  10. Threedoor

    Pancakes with crunchy peanut butter syrup and sometimes diced pineapple.

    • Swiss Servator

      Now you are just shit-stirring…

  11. Jerms

    Banana and chocolate chip pancakes with at least 3 thick slices of butter for each and lots of syrup.

  12. The Other Kevin

    I’ve been eating lowish-carb for a few years so the answer is none. But if I weren’t watching my food, it would be any of them, butter melted first, then warm syrup.

  13. R C Dean

    Just got a document for electronic signature. From a service I haven’t used before – HelloSign. Which I read as “HellSign”.

    I am a little suspicious that the instructions say to prick your index finger to draw blood before mousing your signature in.

    • zwak

      It does seem suspicious. Satan’s service would use rat, not mouse.

  14. Nephilium

    The correct answer is savory crepes.

    • Threedoor

      Oh. Been a while but theat is a fantastic option.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      ???

      • Fourscore

        Are you home yet? Out and about? How you feelin’? Get well fast

      • UnCivilServant

        See below

        tl;dr – I’m home, and miserable.

    • slumbrew

      No ham and gruyere? I am disappoint.

      (now I want a crepe)

      • Nephilium

        I’m not going to turn away their ham and brie, or their breakfast crepe; however, I usually go with the breakfast panini when I’m there. It’s one of my go to options for a bike riding breakfast (a one way ride can be between 8 and 30 miles depending on the route).

  15. Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

    As we used to hear at the Free Breakfasts during Calgary Stampede:

    “We’ve got all kinds of variety here — you can have pancakes, hotcakes, griddle cakes or flapjacks with your sausage or bacon. What’s your poison?”

    I like ’em all; melted butter and maple syrup or Rogers Golden Syrup, please.

  16. blackjack

    When I was younger, I liked French toast. Now, I love crispy Belgian waffles. Technically, I have waffled on this question. I know it was too easy, but someone had to do it.

  17. CPRM

    I do not like carb based meals. I prefer to drink my carbs. But If I must eat a carb based meal, I choose potatoes, but not potato pancakes.

  18. Tundra

    None of the above these days.

    However, I used to love buckwheat pancakes with warm syrup. When we were coming out of the BWCA, we always stopped in Ely at a place called the Chocolate Moose. I would order a big stack of buckwheat pancakes and a couple beers.

    Heaven.

    • The Other Kevin

      That breakfast place you recommended had great pancakes. I tried a bite or two. They had vanilla in them and tasted like fluffy cake.

  19. Mojeaux

    Embrace the power of “and”.

  20. Ownbestenemy

    French toast with butter and powdered sugar.

    Second choice is waffles with peanut butter and, heated in the microwave for a few seconds.

    But I am a once per year person for either of those. Too sweat to have all the time.

  21. UnCivilServant

    sir-up. Or sirrup

    Anyway, I’m home from the hospital, and my week of misery just keeps on hitting. While I was in, someone tried to use my credit card number to charge a bunch of stuff. None of it got approved (as the card was safely locked away) but the card got shut off, which I found when I tried to buy my pain meds at the pharmacy. Luckily, I had other payment options at hand, so I got my meds. But now my primary card is out of service until the replacement (with a new number) arrives next week.

    Plus it turns out they don’t want me to have cheese for a Month! even after I asked the surgeon if there were any dietary restrictions and she said no.

    Do I listen to the surgeon and risk bowel troubles, or listen to the paperwork and forsake cheese for thirty days?

    • blackjack

      Sounds like another medical bankruptcy to me. Socialized medicine now!

      • UnCivilServant

        The fraud attempt didn’t cost me any money, just inconvenience. I still have money for day to day and money in the bank because I’ve been careful with my funds despite my hobbies.

      • blackjack

        I figured. I’m jes messin.

      • UnCivilServant

        The pain meds are still setting in, and I’m in a sour mood, so please forgive any bruskness.

        I’m still hurting less than I was before the operation, but less is not zero.

        As for the standard of care, I’ll take what I got over what I’ve heard about socialized medicine. I mean, tuesday I walk into an urgen care complaining of abdominal pain and a fever. I get a ct scan the same day, and a diagnosis, admitted to the hospital that evening, an operation the next day, and in a state fit to be home the day after. All without pre-scheduling or crashing the ER.

        I haven’t seen the bill yet, but I have pretty good insurance, so that part is up in the air how much financial pain this will cause.

      • Fourscore

        Good to hear the serious problems got corrected, UCS. No cheese, listen to the medics, its only for a few days.

        To paraphrase Kenny Rodgers, “There’s time for eatin’ cheese when the healin’ done”

      • UnCivilServant

        I’ll be good.

        I’m going to try to get some rest now.

      • pistoffnick

        If the pain meds are opioids, you’ll have enough trouble poopin’. (I speak from recent experience)

        Leave the cheese to Grommit

    • CPRM

      While I was in, someone tried to use my credit card number to charge a bunch of stuff.

      Should I have not done that? Was that wrong?

    • Nephilium

      I’d listen to the paperwork, at least for the first couple of weeks.

    • rhywun

      You do NOT want bowel problems, trust me.

      Do the carefullest.

    • Gender Traitor

      As much as it pains me to say it, I would give up the cheese for the recommended interval. Better safe than sorry. And so sorry about the credit card hassle. ? Hope you start feeling better.

    • zwak

      I would take any excuse, reason, or whim to give up cheese.

      • UnCivilServant

        There’s something wrong with you.

  22. Urthona

    Yes

  23. Drake

    French toast. If I do pancakes, they are preferably buckwheat from Polly’s Pancakes in Sugar Hill, NH.

    Of course I rarely eat any of it these days as my old body has become incredibly efficient at converting carbohydrates into stored fat.

  24. Mojeaux

    So I’m at IHOP or Waffle House and I’m presented with the choice because I know I can’t eat all 3, I’ll take waffles because while I can make pancakes and French toast at home, I cannot make waffles at home.

    • Urthona

      Waffle iron would be a good gift for you. Super easy to make at home.

    • Nephilium

      I’ve got one of the easy waffle makers (and waffles do freeze relatively well). There’s a part of me that kind of wants one of the old school cast iron waffle makers just because.

      Even though I know I would rarely use it.

      • Urthona

        My mom brought that thing out every weekend as a kid.

        I miss waffles.

      • Gender Traitor

        He’s right upthread. You two should get together. ::ponders pickle with waffles:: On second thought, never mind.

      • zwak

        Not quite sure, but I would say mobilization.

  25. limey

    No.

  26. Aloysious

    I usually refer to syrup as ‘bug juice’.

    It usually produces an amusing reaction. Especially from kids.

    • Nephilium

      Bug juice is any sweetened fruit flavored product (it sure as shit ain’t juice) served at kids summer camps.

      • Surly Knott

        Heh. Growing up, my dad didn’t like ‘plain’ Kool-Aid, so my mom added a can of frozen lemonade concentrate to every batch. Floating bits of lemon in the result, so bug juice. We pretty much never had anything else with dinner.

      • Mojeaux

        Kool-Aid came out with a flavor in the mid 80s that I loved–Sunshine Punch. I’m not a Kool-Aid fan, but that was delicious.

  27. EvilSheldon

    French Toast with butter (separate) and sliced apples with cinnamon sauce.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Cracker Barrel has (or used to, anyway) extremely tasty sourdough French toast. As Mojeaux said, waffles are something i would never make at home, so i like to order them.

    I’m not a fan of pancakes. They’re too heavy, usually. Crepes are more to my liking.

  29. egould310

    Back at the ophthalmologist this morning. Needle in the eye, again. Can’t wait.

    • Sean

      *squirms uncomfortably*

      Sorry dude.

    • Mojeaux

      I’ve transcribed/edited many an eyeball surgery. Those people do God’s work.

      Good luck!

    • The Other Kevin

      Did you lie about something?

    • rhywun

      anyone flying it is a racist

      lol

      Someone will one-up this within a week.

    • Urthona

      I keep wondering why the popularity of BLM is continuously plummeting since it started.

      It’s a mystery.

    • zwak

      Overheard at the greasy spoon this morning “Why don’t we fly those BLMs who hate the flag to Afganistan? The planes are just going to be empty on the way over, might as well make us of the space.”

    • Rat on a train

      When we see this flag … We know to avoid you.
      If only that were true.

  30. trshmnstr the terrible

    Yes to all three. I make pancakes about once per month, super easy recipe. My waffles recipe requires buttermilk, so only do it once in a blue moon. Can’t remember the last time I made French toast, but not for the lack of liking it.

    Real unadulterated maple syrup added separate from real softened butter. Maybe a fresh berry compote if we have the berries on hand.

    • Mojeaux

      I don’t mind buying buttermilk because I will drink whatever’s left over. I love buttermilk.

    • Nephilium

      I finally broke down and bought a tub of the powdered buttermilk, as it’s rare that I would use up the remaining buttermilk.

      • Tulip

        I almost always use powdered buttermilk. I never use up fresh buttermilk.

      • mikey

        How did I not know of this?
        I often pass on a recipe ’cause I don’t want to go to the store just to get some buttermilk. At least the local often has it in the half pint size – just eough for one recipe. I don’t see how anyone drinks the stuff.

    • Bill Door

      I’ve used the 1tbsp vinegar/cup of milk as an alternative to buttermilk with good results.

      • DrOtto

        I do a similar trick with lime or lemon juice.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yep or lemon juice will do the trick also. You have to let it curdle a bit though.

  31. Surly Knott

    Back before IBS wrecked my eating habits, waffles, with blackberry jam and maple syrup. Yum.

  32. Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

    French toast > waffles > pancakes. But eggs and bacon beat them all.

    • Tulip

      Eggs and bacon are in addition to, French toast etc.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      My daily breakfast is two over medium eggs and an Aldi sausage patty. I need to dig out the sausage recipe I got from Spud (I think) years ago. Those homemade sausage patties were amazing! And they were so easy to make in bulk and freeze between two sheets of parchment.

    • B.P.

      This is the correct order. I’d wedge in huevos rancheros before the eggs and bacon.

  33. PieInTheSky

    I never any any of those things. Are we talking Greg Doucette’s anabolic french toast or regular diabetes french toast?

    Anyway we don’t do pancakes in Romania much. pancakes is usually translated as clatite in Romanian but it is wrong. Clatite, which we eat, are basically crepes.

    Anyways I don’t like waffles so that goes last.

    I would say pancakes (creps) > french toast > waffles probably you can do a lot with sweet preserves or fresh fruit for pancakes.

    • Urthona

      The main difference is there’s a leavening agent in pancake batter. So only crepes are allowed for communion.

  34. Certified Public Asshat

    After much consideration: omelettes.

  35. egould310

    French toast. Because you can’t make a Monte Cristo out of waffles or pancakes.

    • Tres Cool

      But you CAN make a Monte Carlo out of used chevy parts.

  36. Urthona

    Leftover pizza that’s been sitting out

    • egould310

      This is the correct answer.

    • zwak

      Preferably the piece no one put their cigarette out in.

    • Rat on a train

      None of the local restaurants have that on the menu.

  37. prolefeed

    Waffles.

    • prolefeed

      Specifically, homemade waffles with cinnamon, allspice, and ginger, with room temperature butter, real maple syrup, pecans, sometimes sliced bananas.

    • Urthona

      The media would never admit that even if it turns out to be true.

      • Animal

        If the audits showed clearly that an usurper was in the Imperial Mansion, the media’s reaction would be the least of our worries.

      • Urthona

        Of course.

        At this point, I just want to know as much as possible.

        The only hope is some red states putting in more protections for the next time. That’s all we’re going to get.

      • Animal

        Me too. And if that came to be the case, well, I guess I’m glad Mrs. Animal and I are well out of the way of any disturbances.

      • Urthona

        I’ve always been a cynic, but I’ve never had less faith in the Republic.

        We pretty much learned this week that our own bureaucracy was trying to set up a journalist for political reasons.

        This hits just keep coming.

      • prolefeed

        Facebook, Google, et. al. would censor the news, label it “fake news”, etc.

        The only recourse is to change election laws to tamp down the level of cheating in 2022. The audits would just provide justification.

      • Urthona

        I think it’s possible that some of it likely is “fake news”, but the fact that Facebook, Google, etc. are banning it only INCREASES my skepticism. Do they not realize they’re pushing conservatives into their own bubbles?

        What they’re doing is counterproductive.

      • R C Dean

        Our Masters, whether in Team Blue or Team Red livery, will never allow the kind of audits and investigations that could show who would have won a clean election.

        Which we most definitely did not have.

        So its purely academic.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      Well, what do you call the unjustified undermining of governmental authority and laws? “Subversion” comes to mind.

      There’s a reason why subversion isn’t handled in laws treating treason and sedition. It’s because subversion has the tendency to compromise the legal system.

      So, what are you supposed to do to subverters? The remedies are outside of a court of law, and none of them are pleasant. Fortunately or unfortunately, the only attempt at remedy so far was on Jan 6th, and it was rather milquetoast.

    • WTF

      Nothing happens. SCOTUS does nothing, and the Republicans seethe impotently while expressing outrage. Meanwhile the left “fortifies” the next election.

      • Urthona

        I don’t think anything will happen insofar as changing rule. In fact, they will always say the forensic analyses were political nonsense.

        The states will likely keep getting farther apart as Republican states will successfully pass their rules and blue states will try to make their covid changes permanent.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Nothing happens. SCOTUS does nothing, and the Republicans seethe impotentlycollect their CCP money while expressing feigningoutrage. Meanwhile the left “fortifies” the next election.

        Controlled opposition and all. I have no doubt that McConnell and the rest of the eGop were as glad to get rid of Trump as any of the Left.

      • Night Watchman

        This right here. Whatever happened to TEAM BE RULED?

      • R C Dean

        Pretty sure they are cashing checks, chasing interns, and laughing at the rubes.

      • Night Watchman

        What I meant was, “Why doesn’t anyone here refer to them as such anymore?” It seems to me that there are many on the right who are just as eager to put in the boot as those on the left, if for different reasons; but the desire is still there.

    • wdalasio

      If it were shown that the election results were that Trump really should have won the results would be….absolutely nothing. The establishment would rally around some rationalization that the election was still legitimate (“Biden nevertheless got more votes nationally” or “The audits themselves were biased, agenda-driven affairs” or “Trump conceded” or somesuch) and the issue would be made to go away. And if the issue was made too much of a stink, we’d find out about Trump having committed suicide by shooting himself in the back of the head a half dozen times. At this point, the establishment can’t admit that the election wasn’t legitimate. Things can only go on as normal if they pretend that it’s all on the up-and-up and we pretend to believe them. It’s strange. I don’t think anyone really believes the illusion any longer. It’s just that nobody feels like they can afford to dispense with it.

      The story of the Emperor’s New Clothes comes to mind. They just got the ending wrong. The boy who declared the Emperor naked would be stoned by the crowd and they’d go on pretending the Emperor’s Invisible Suit was the greatest invention ever.

      • Urthona

        Agreed.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        The long-term damage is the complete disengagement of large swaths of the country from the political process, leading to an even faster authoritarian slide.

        The author is a bit naive to think that the reaction of a bunch of people disillusioned with the electoral process is to “vote harder.” No, disillusioned republicans are going to sit at home and disengage from the process. Nobody is going to the voting booth in 2022 because of election fraud in 2020 that wouldn’t have voted anyway. There are plenty of people out there who voted in 2020 and aren’t gonna bother with that corrupt process or the feckless GOP who can’t bother to clean up the electoral system.

      • slumbrew

        disillusioned republicans are going to sit at home and disengage from the process stock up on ammo.

        FIFY

      • Rat on a train

        They may admit to the fraud after a few decades.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      This seems overly optimistic (or pessimistic depending on you viewpoint): “Arizona may be on the verge of flipping its result, and Georgia looks probable to follow. And Pennsylvania and then Wisconsin might be next. In terms of Electoral College votes, that would be all that is needed to satisfy the constitutional 270 votes required.”

      But as long as we’re entertaining hypotheticals, the only peaceful way to resolve it would be for the Republicans to win both houses of Congress in 2022 and impeach and remove Biden and Harris. That said, I don’t think they’d get enough votes in the Senate to do so even if they do gain control of the Senate. You might get a handful of Dems to vote for removal, but not enough. Perhaps there could be enough public pressure to get them to resign voluntarily, but that would probably require the media to turn on them, which is unlikely to happen.

      • Urthona

        Yeah, getting enough senate votes to have a purely partisan impeachment is virtually impossible. It happens like once a half century.

        That’s actually the point of it.

        It’s a tool for removing the president only if he is really unquestionably nuts or evil or something. Something that would be political suicide for either party to deny and will likely never happen.

        That’s one of the reasons the Democrats’ impeachment attempts were so hilariously dumb.

      • zwak

        There was a poll I read this morning ( https://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2021/07/poll_reveals_that_a_solid_majority_of_americans_including_almost_a_third_of_democrats_believe_biden_isnt_calling_the_shots_in_his_own_presidency.html for a link through) that shows a clear majority of Americans do not think Biden is in command of the country in any way. Now, that might seem like something different, but it speaks to how people are getting past tmite on that, and with the increased numbers of states that are having election audits, and the interesting pushback against them when they are denied such as in Colorado, show that this issue isn’t going away. More and more questions are coming up.

        If you look at Nixon and the push for his impeachment, it was truly bipartisan. It didn’t start out that way but only became so when his own party turned on him. Now, the media and the deep state had it in for him in the same way as they did for Trump, but we are in a period of such distrust of the media and gov’t and there being so many workarounds, that even now, more and more comes out about issues such as Hunter Biden’s laptop, that over the next few years there could be a push for an actually useful impeachment. It is certainly no given, but the ground is being leveled for a foundation to be laid. Biden’s election was certified, so the only real recourse is an impeachment. But that, assuming the R’s take the house, would include Kamalama Ding Dong as her election (the reason for said impeachment) would be in question also.

        And, why yes, I am invested in tin foil. Why do you ask?

    • kinnath

      The election cannot be undone.

      The best we can do is put people in prison for corrupting the election.

      But the jurisdictions where the corruption occurred are controlled by big blue, so no prosecutor would ever chase one of those cases.

  38. Tres Cool

    Ideally….fried spam, runny fried AIGS, on toast with velveeta, hellman’s mayo, and mustard. Then a side of tater tots. Its all WARSHED down with a glass of chocolate Instant Breakfast.

    • kinnath

      Not breakfast, but a short-lived restaurant around here used to serve an open-faced burger with tater tots all smothered in green enchilada sauce with shredded cojack.

  39. Urthona

    Bacon should be crunchy and not chewy.

    • Animal

      Every U.S. Army field kitchen in the history of U.S. Army field kitchens would like a word.

      • R C Dean

        What would that word be?

        “You’re right”?

      • Animal

        Apparently not according to U.S. Army field kitchens. I’ve never eaten a field breakfast that didn’t involve bacon about as crispy as over-boiled noodles.

        Bacon in mess halls, on the other hand, is generally appropriately crispy.

        Bear in mind my experience with these matters is now about thirty years out of date.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        My experience with the suposedly superior AF “Dining Facilities” is pretty much the same.

      • Swiss Servator

        “Supposedly”?

        They were, at least from 1985-2012.

        /grumbling Army guy

      • Animal

        Can confirm.

        /another grumbling Army guy

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Breakfast was one of the few things that chow halls did somewhere in the neighborhood of palatable. K-Rations on the other hand…

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        Canadian Armed Forces is the same way, and when I was back in Air Cadets (back in the Elder Days), I found out why one summer when I was at CFB Trenton — turns out the under-cooked (to me at least) bacon was actually specified in CAF training as the correct cooking method, due to concerns over dealing with or disposing of large quantities of bacon grease in the field.

        I’m sure the extra calories didn’t hurt, either. Grunts need fuel!

      • slumbrew

        Lardons would like a word.

        (that word is “OMFGDelicious”)

    • zwak

      HERETIC!!!

      BURN THE PICKLE!!!!

      • slumbrew

        Chewy bacon was what got my (((wife))) eating bacon. She thought she didn’t like bacon because she had only ever had crispy.

        Actually, it was lardons, but those are just high-falutin’ chewy bacon.

      • slumbrew

        *drools*

      • R C Dean

        Dip those in melted chocolate, and you’ve got something even awesomer.

    • Mojeaux

      Urthona wins the internet.

      Especially the fat on the bacon needs to be crunchy.

  40. compgrokker

    French toast > pancakes > waffles.

    Better if they’re accompanied by a runny over-easy egg, so you can use the bread to soak up the egg yolk.

  41. wdalasio

    You are all wrong. The correct answer? Biscuits. With gravy.

    As to sugar fluid? I’d go with orange marmalade or apple butter.

    • Tres Cool

      I make some damn tasty gravy with CarbQuik

      • wdalasio

        I’ll admit I cheat on the biscuits and use instant. But my gravy usually gets rave reviews.

      • Tres Cool

        Food always tastes better to people that didnt have to make it.

        The other side of that axiom- “free food tastes best when you’re really hungry”.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    Ideally….fried spam, runny fried AIGS, on toast with velveeta, hellman’s mayo, and mustard. Then a side of tater tots. Its all WARSHED down with a glass of chocolate Instant Breakfast.

    Prepared on a tiny portable charcoal grill in the infield at Talladega?

    • Gender Traitor

      You don’t need no grill. Just cook ’em up right on the engine block of yer Chevy (pron. “Shivvy.”)

  43. kinnath

    French toast > Pancakes > Waffles

  44. J. Frank Parnell

    I get the Dutch Baby, which I guess is technically a pancake. No syrup, just butter, powdered sugar, and a couple squeezes of lemon juice.

    Otherwise I guess I would put pancakes last and go with french toast or waffles, whichever looks tastier in the menu description; but realistically I would go with some sort of egg and bacon dish instead.

  45. Bill Door

    It’s a toss-up for me, but I have fund a pancake recipe that is super simple and almost a cross between crepes and pancakes. I’ll post it here just for kicks, in case anyone wants to try it. Also, bacon on the side and dipped in the sirrup.

    1 Cup Flour
    1/2 Tsp Salt
    1 Tsp Baking Soda
    1 1/2 Tsp baking powder
    1 Tsp Sugar

    Stir together dry ingredients, then add wet ingredients.

    2 C Buttermilk
    2 Eggs
    4 Tbsp Melted Butter

    They are supposed to be more thin than a lot of pancakes, which is what I like about them.

    • Bill Door

      Also, as I mentioned above, I typically use 1tbsp of vinegar/cup of milk, let sit for ~10 minutes, and use that as a substitute for buttermilk, since I don’t usually have it on hand.

  46. Cy Esquire

    French Toast > Waffles > Pancakes > Crepes

    Fruit, pretty much any kind of berry with whipped cream.

  47. Cy Esquire

    Breakfast Sandwich’s:

    Croissantwich > Mcgriddle > English muffin > Biscuit

    • Tres Cool

      YES!

      BK is the KANG of the breakfast sammiches. ‘Specially when they used to offer the “enormous omlette sandwich”.
      Which I think they discontinued due to liability reasons.

      • kinnath

        Hardees does or did have an omelet biscuit that was pretty fucking good. But I haven’t been to a Hardees in years.

      • Nephilium

        Surprisingly, Wendy’s breakfast sammies are pretty good (and they’ve been pushing them hard, so they’re usually on deal).

      • Cy Esquire

        We just got a new Wendy’s. I will BOLO!

  48. trshmnstr the terrible

    From the latest Tom Woods newsletter. Can’t really disagree with any of it.

    The UK-based rapper known as Zuby recently listed 20 of them on Twitter, and his list went viral.

    I thought you’d enjoy it:

    20 Things I’ve Learned (Or Had Confirmed) About Humanity During The “Pandemic”

    1. Most people would rather be in the majority, than be right.

    2. At least 20% of the population has strong authoritarian tendencies, which will emerge under the right conditions.

    3. Fear of death is only rivaled by the fear of social disapproval. The latter could be stronger.

    4. Propaganda is just as effective in the modern day as it was 100 years ago. Access to limitless information has not made the average person any wiser.

    5. Anything and everything can and will be politicized by the media, government, and those who trust them.

    6. Many politicians and large corporations will gladly sacrifice human lives if it is conducive to their political and financial aspirations.

    7. Most people believe the government acts in the best interests of the people. Even many who are vocal critics of the government.

    8. Once they have made up their mind, most people would rather to commit to being wrong, than admit they were wrong.

    9. Humans can be trained and conditioned quickly and relatively easily to significantly alter their behaviors — for better or worse.

    10. When sufficiently frightened, most people will not only accept authoritarianism, but demand it.

    11. People who are dismissed as “conspiracy theorists” are often well researched and simply ahead of the mainstream narrative.

    12. Most people value safety and security more than freedom and liberty, even if said “safety” is merely an illusion.

    13. Hedonic adaptation occurs in both directions, and once inertia sets in, it is difficult to get people back to “normal.”

    14. A significant % of people thoroughly enjoy being subjugated.

    15. “The Science” has evolved into a secular pseudo-religion for millions of people in the West. This religion has little to do with science itself.

    16. Most people care more about looking like they are doing the right thing, rather than actually doing the right thing.

    17. Politics, the media, science, and the healthcare industries are all corrupt, to varying degrees. Scientists and doctors can be bought as easily as politicians.

    18. If you make people comfortable enough, they will not revolt. You can keep millions docile as you strip their rights, by giving them money, food, and entertainment.

    19. Modern people are overly complacent and lack vigilance when it comes to defending their own freedoms from government overreach.

    20. It’s easier to fool a person than to convince them that they have been fooled.

    • Cy Esquire

      Bread and circuses it is then!

    • Fourscore

      We saw these articles of faith repeatedly these past 18 months. Even among the better educated or especially among the better educated. I couldn’t believe that old people would fall into this trap so readily. Even today as more covids appear (of course) many have complete faith in masks’ protection. Can’t prove a negative, I guess

    • zwak

      One of the things I have been reading about lately is the social effect Pearl Harbor had on the national psyche, outside of wanting to go to war. Apparently, people went kinda haywire, people started drinking WAY more than before, everybody started sleeping around and cheating on their spouses, drug use went up, etc.

      Major catastrophes like that allow people to give themselves permission to break all sorts of minor and major social taboos.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        How did they decouple the reaction to Pearl Harbor from the larger war effort?

        I’d think it more natural to attribute those changes to the war effort.

      • zwak

        I haven’t gotten that far yet, but I would say mobilization.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Forgot about that one, despite seeing it when it came out (haven’t read it).

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        And how could I forget to mention that H&G and Zardoz share a director!

  49. Akira

    Since I’m trying to do this whole “healthy” thing, I try to avoid carbs and especially refined sugar for breakfast.

    … But I do occasionally make a savory waffle with beer, cheese, and green onions. It’s excellent with bacon and eggs on top. The little squares catch all the drippings of egg yolk, bacon grease, and Tabasco – pure heaven.

    • Tres Cool

      Id buy that for a dollar

    • slumbrew

      I would also spend some of my carb budget on that – it sounds awesome.

  50. Translucent Chum

    I’m going to dip my toe in for a submission or two soon. Going to do a travelogue for our 10 day northern Michigan and U.P. camping trip – lot’s of rock hunting including the infamous Leland Blue. Then maybe show how I do a hash brown omelet on the blackstone.

    In response to Tampa Bay being a dynasty in the previous thread – they are 18 million over the cap and that loophole is being fixed this offseason. Welcome to salary cap hell.

    • Urthona

      I’m sure Tampa will be fine.

    • pistoffnick

      Stop in at Leelanau Cheese and pick me up a wheel of raclette, please!

      • Animal

        Raclette comes in a wheel?

        Hm. If it came in a sphere, would it be a racletteball?

  51. Sensei

    Keep spinning and trying to dig yourself out.

    HHS chief claims his vaccine comments are being taken ‘wildly out of context’

    Some comments I made today are being taken wildly out of context. To be clear: government has no database tracking who is vaccinated. We’re encouraging people to step up to protect themselves, others by getting vaccinated. It’s the best way to save lives and end this pandemic.

    Kindest interpretation is fedgov has no list. Most certainly, at least in NJ, is that county for sure and I’m sure the state knows exactly who is vaccinated at both private and county run vaccination sites. If RC Dean is around maybe he let us know what the state of AZ tracks.

    • Urthona

      They probably just have stats, really.

      • Sensei

        On the awful site known as Twitter under that particular quote people are rightly giving him hell.

        He doesn’t get in any way the premise that his power comes from the people. Hence his thinking that since spent its (and not our) money on COVID treatment and prevention it has a “right” to infringe our rights.

      • Urthona

        Yes. A truly ridiculous argument. We spent the money we took from you partly on you so we can do what we want? Eh?

    • LJW

      Looking at my vaccination card. There are serial numbers for each vaccine I received. I had to provide name and insurance information, even though the vaccine was free. I have no doubt of mind my information is sitting in a database somewhere. Now it might not be a government owned database, but I’d bet if needed they could access it.

      • Urthona

        I think it would be too much of a political liability to track hard information like names, but I’m quite sure they track everything else. They know what vaccines went where and so what regions there are where hardly anyone took it.

        So they an go to those areas and randomly harass people.

        Which seems incredibly frustrating and a total waste of money.

      • Sensei

        I know for a fact my county tracks people. My boss had a plastic sleeve for the vaccination card mailed to him as they didn’t have any when he went.

        I, OTH, got my plastic sleeve proudly stating “PUTTING ESSEX COUNTY’S HEALTH FIRST” when I got stuck.

      • Urthona

        Why do they insist on such collectivist fake bragging?

        I want mine to say “I’m better than you.”

      • Sean

        https://www.mass.gov/guides/how-to-prepare-for-your-covid-19-vaccine-appointment

        People age 12 and older who live, work, or study in Massachusetts can get vaccinated against COVID-19. People ages 12-17 can only get the Pfizer vaccine. People age 18 and older can get any vaccine. The vaccine is safe and effective. You don’t need an ID or insurance to get it.

        Emphasis added, Stuff like that is gonna leave big gaps in any real data collection.

      • LJW

        They live in a fantasy where they think people who aren’t vaccinated are so only because the government hasn’t helped them.

      • Urthona

        Don’t understand why the government is still doing anything.

        Everyone how wants a covid vaccine has now gotten one. They’ve shut all mass vaccination sites.

        We’re done.

        Even if you are for all these big government solutions, there’s nothing you can do any further without deliberate and massive force.

      • slumbrew

        Mine just has lot numbers for each dose. It’s got my name & DOB, which is enough to track me, given my unusual last name. “Patient number” is blank, however.

        I assume my hospital system (who I signed up through) can’t share w/o permission but I won’t be shocked if there’s a HIPPA carve-out for the feds.

      • Urthona

        People are focused on the big government creepiness of all this (which is all true), but another aspect is just that this is just a terrible plan.

        It’s expensive, time consuming, going to cause intense pushback, and utterly doomed to fail.

      • Sean

        going to cause intense pushback, and utterly doomed to fail.

        Excellent.

        *Mr. Burns impression.*

      • slumbrew

        Totally agreed. However, it does let them pay Dem voters for BS jobs, going door to door.

        Those door knockers will need a living wage, of course.

      • LJW

        Like the contact tracers. One of my leftist FB friends took a job doing that. Had a fancy title and did absolutely nothing.

      • LJW

        I’d hate to be the volunteer that shows up at the looney get off my lawn guys house.

      • Urthona

        Yeah. What a terrible f*cking job.

        I would be tempted to just say I did my job and go get coffee.

      • slumbrew

        Some dude (with an extremely punchable face) knocked on the door last week, wanting to talk to me about our “community solar program” or some such bullshit.

        My dog is barking her head off and it’s the middle of the work day, so I told him “now’s not good” – he then gives me the shittiest look and a “it’s only going to take a few minutes”.

        “I’m fucking working” was enough to end it at that point but what an entitled little shit. Still annoyed by the gall.

      • Urthona

        I mean a big question about this plan I have is how are they actually gonna get people to do it and know for a fact they did it.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I had a guy stand right next to my no soliciting sign trying to get me to talk about getting signed up on a pest control plan. He tried the whole “don’t let the conversation end” tactic on me.

        “blah blah buy my service”
        “not interested”
        “I noticed that you have some cobwebs, which service do you use now?”
        “I do it myself…”
        “well, we can probably get you set up for…”
        “Not. Interested.”
        *door slam and lock*

      • Lord Humungus

        I had something similar for a door-to-door pest plan sales, also telling me that my neighbors Bob and Mike signed up for the service.

        But I’m a dick and, if I don’t know the person, just use the Ring app to talk to the person. And then proceed to hang up on them once I tell them I’m not interested.

        How that’s for social skill 101?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yes the younger cold salesforce is super annoyed by the door slammed in their face. Fuck em

      • slumbrew

        Should have gone with “Bob and Mike are fools – why would I do anything they did?”

        (no disrespect to those two)

      • Mojeaux

        Jehovah’s Witness comes to my door:

        Them: Would you like–

        Me: HEY! HI! I’ll read yours if you read mine.

        Them: What’s yours?

        Me: Book of Mormon.

        Them: *backing away slowly* No, that’s okay, thanks.

        ———-

        Solicitor comes to my door:

        Me: Whatever you’re selling, I don’t want it. *closes door*

      • Urthona

        haha

      • Animal

        Nobody (except the occasional delivery guy) comes knocking on doors out here.

        It’s so peaceful. **Sighs contentedly**

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Moj, your handling of the JWs reminds me of a bit of a dirty prank I played on the local Mormon missionaries a couple years back. They came over and wanted to talk, and I was happy to do so, but didn’t have a ton of time. They were nice, and we were in a town of 200, so I extended them an invitation to come back in a few hours when I was having some people over. Good conversation. Good chance to sell Mormonism to a bunch of non-Mormons.

        The part I left out was that it was a church cookout and half the people there were either pastors at the church or had been through seminary.

        It’s too bad they didn’t make it. It would’ve genuinely been a great experience for all. Probably a bit more than the missionaries bargained for, but it’s not like we were gonna abuse them.

      • Ted S.

        Next time open the door and walk out stark naked.

        Do it with the Mormon missionaries and Jehovah’s Witnesses, too.

      • R C Dean

        I’d hate to be the volunteer that shows up at the looney get off my lawn guys house.

        I doubt we’ll get one, but you never know.

        Believe it or not, they’ll be lucky to get me rather than Mrs. Dean. She gave the census worker who came by absolute holy hell. I generally feel kinda bad for drones in thankless jobs, so I try not to go off on them.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I have no doubt of mind my information is sitting in a database somewhere.

        It is and it’s enough to identify you individually. How do I know? When I log into my health insurance website, there a covid vaccine status section that accurately shows I haven’t gotten the shot according to state of TX records.

      • Cy Esquire

        No alarm bells there. I wonder if we should just start wearing stars on our sleeves. It could be a sign of solidarity!

      • Urthona

        An easy way I’ve found to immediately halt any sales attempt is to say “I already have [x]”. It’s effective, it’s immediate, and there’s no counter possible.

        If a government dipshit comes to your door, simply say “I’m already vaccinated”. There’s nothing they can say to the contrary that is not an admission of illegality.

        Alternatively, you may be honest and then chew them out. Whatever floats your boat.

    • tarran

      There isn’t one database. There are 50. Each state runs its own database in accordance with CDC specifications.

      Here in MA, you can opt out, but it’s a very onerous process with 0 confirmation that they’ve actually purged your data.

      So they know who got the jabs and who didn’t.

      • Spartacus

        Florida absolutely has a list. Our student health services folks know exactly which students are and are not vaccinated. Not sure how they get that info for students from out of state, but they have stats on who is vaccinated or not broken down in such detail that they have to have a list.

        So far the only ones getting overtly harassed to get their shots are the varsity athletes. I learned the other day that if a team reaches 85% vaccinated, NCAA says they can stop doing regular testing, so our athletics staff are trying to get to that point.

    • R C Dean

      My understanding is that everyone who gets a drug or device under an EUA is supposed to be reported to either the FDA or the manufacturer of the drug or device. I’m not an expert in this area, so grain of salt. Whether the feds have a comprehensive database yet (and I would bet my own money they do, and are lying about it), they can get one by asking three (3) companies to provide their databases.

      Of course, the feds can also get everything they need from the organizations that administered the vaccines, although they don’t need to go that far upstream. HIPAA provides little to no privacy from the government (surprise!), as it has several exceptions that allow the government to get your medical information.

  52. banginglc1

    French Toast and Waffles are about the same, probably French Toast. Topped with Mrs Butterworth’s. I don’t care for real maple syrup. I guess growing up with fake sugar water makes me like fake sugar water best.

  53. Cy Esquire

    Anyone brought up the undeniable fact that a good eggs benedict can make the rest of the day worth it in just about any circumstance?

    Also, a good blood mary for breakfast is also a welcome surprise at a rando restaurant.

    • slumbrew

      The only downside to eggs benny is that they put me in a food coma.

      Bloodys don’t help either.

      • Sensei

        +1

      • Cy Esquire

        Have you tried the Zing Zang mix with some pepper vodka?

      • slumbrew

        I don’t even know what that is and I want one.

    • EvilSheldon

      There’s good reason that I usually make Eggs Benedict most Saturday mornings.

    • Mojeaux

      I don’t know who got the bright idea to blend melted butter, raw eggs, lemon juice, and paprika, but they should be made emperor of the world for life.

      • Cy Esquire

        Definitely a better option than Xi!

  54. mexican sharpshooter

    Chorizo and eggs for me but if complex carbs must be on the menu its going to be in waffle form. Butter first, then some Syrup (pronounced surrup). Maple syrup is worth paying the premium for.

    I always thought that line from My Blue Heaven was silly, when the wife left him. “He has a system for eating pancakes.” Its like, so what? Everyone has a system for eating pancakes, because you NEED a system to eat pancakes.

    • LJW

      Why not have both and make it a chorizo and eggs burrito?

      • Cy Esquire

        I think this is where I need to point out the difference between a good, real breakfast burrito and that shit that fast food restaurants have been trying to pass off as a ‘breakfast burrito.’ It’s a crime!

      • Timeloose

        I used to have a mexican restaurant in the same parking lot as my factory. Every morning 2X Huevo, bacon and bean burrito. The tortillas in South TX are thick suckers too. They were a buck each. Plus a green chilli or red sauce to go along with it.

        Second most popular for me was the Chorizo and Egg or the Babacoa.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yep. If ever in SoCal and out east near Chino Hills, hit up Bravo Burger before the church crowd gets there and get their breakfast burritos.

        Whole links or sausage with potatoes and egg.

      • Nephilium

        One of the local places has an over the top breakfast burrito. Scrambled eggs, peppered bacon, sausage links, home fries, topped with sausage gravy and cheddar.

      • R C Dean

        That sounds pretty good, but one searches that list in vain for any signature burrito ingredients. No pico de gallo, no salsa, no crema, no green pepper or hot pepper, no red sauce. The cheese is the closest, but cheddar isn’t really the cheese of choice for Mexican food.

        Sounds like what you got was a burrito-shaped scrambler. Don’t get me wrong, I love me a good scrambler, but it ain’t a burrito.

      • Nephilium

        This is made by Europeans, I give them credit for trying. 🙂 I mean they have options for Reuben or Gyro tacos as well.

        They do allow additions of jalapenos and have hot sauce available.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        I eat that all the time, especially if I am going on a road trip.

    • kinnath

      The local diner serves a good breakfast at a pretty low price. Most combos come with a single large pancake.

      So it is essential to cut the pancake in half and then stack up the two halves. Because pancakes must always be eaten in a stack.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        See? You need a system.

    • slumbrew

      My good friend studied philosophy in school and was always a bit disdainful of my argument for practical degrees (and my love of my alma mater’s co-op program) – “it’s not a trade school, it teaches you how to think”.

      That ship sailed long ago. I’m afraid I’ve gotten the last laugh, given our career paths, though I’m not happy about it.

      • Sensei

        Yup. I love humanities and took as many of them as I could while still getting BS in business.

        Mind you I’ve worked with people with BAs from Ivies on Wall St. Most had quantitative graduate degrees and or MBAs, however. Honestly, the brain power on WS was amazing, but for many the hubris matched it in equal measure.

      • slumbrew

        I’m a fan of the humanities as well, it’s just that studying them in college has become a luxury good.

      • zwak

        Juju

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        “it teaches you how to think”

        Obviously not.

      • Rat on a train

        Liberal arts is a fine degree if you are independently wealthy.

      • Urthona

        I think it’s talking about fine arts, which is even harder. Exponentially harder really. You can at least be a lawyer or do multiple other jobs with liberal arts.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I went to law school with a few music majors. Law schools aren’t particularly picky as long as your GPA boosts their profile.

      • Akira

        “it’s not a trade school, it teaches you how to think”

        1. There are a number of ways to study philosophy and get probably the same level of education for little to no money (used philosophy books from Amazon, online philosophy courses, free membership on philosophy discussion forums, etc)

        2. Pretty sure that universities in this day and age are more concerned with filling your head with Leftist garbage rather than teaching you how to think.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        All one need to do is read Eric Hoffer to realize that.

        This is just elitist garbage. Thinking that because they paid for it, they’re smarter.

      • Tulip

        Plumbing, electrical, HVAC, mechanic, all require problem solving, especially when working on an existing house, as opposed to a new build. Suggesting trade school isn’t about thinking is some bullshit.

    • Rat on a train

      Once I get my masters from Columbia, Hollywood will be knocking down my door to offer me plenty of money, right?

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      Film, like most of the arts, is one of those things where I think that where collegiate training seems redundant. I am sure that there are things that you can learn regarding the technical aspects and having dedicated time to work on your craft is undoubtedly beneficial. But those that are truly successful in these fields are the ones who just go out and do it. Filmmakers go out and make films, artists look for ways to get their work in front of eyeballs, and musicians go get gigs.

    • wdalasio

      Actually, the article is better than I expected. The schools are expanding graduate programs because of no-limit federal loans knowing full well the programs they’re admitting people into aren’t going to pay the kind of money they’re charging. And they keep raising tuition out of it.

      That said, I’m not entirely sympathetic to the students. These are degrees that, if they pay off, they pay off big. But, mostly they don’t pay off. It’s a high risk high reward proposition. And mostly that’s not a prudent transaction.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      I think I am okay with Jordan Peterson (?) but it was really awkward listening to him cry when Yeonmi Park told him Columbia sucks, it was a waste of her time, and she didn’t enjoy any of the classes.

  55. Lord Humungus

    I’m not what you call a breakfast guy. My urge to eat is pretty low in the morning; prefer a hot black cup of coffee (or two) and then a protein bar. And yes there are a lot of euphemisms here.

    • Urthona

      In all honesty, that’s the case for me about 98% of the time.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Really depends what is in store for the day. We are heading out and possible going to blow through lunch? Eggs, potatoes and bacon usually are served up.

      Off to work? Yeah coffee and a hard boiled egg.

    • Nephilium

      My first meal of the day is usually lunch, but I will bike up for a good brunch/breakfast on clear weekends. It gives me an excuse on both sides (to exercise, and to support a local place).

  56. Ownbestenemy

    Speaking of chorizo and eggs and breakfast. This place in Henderson outside of Vegas is fantastic.

    https://juansflamingfajitasandcantina.com/

    Always need a reservation and even though website says masks…it doesnt. Their Sunday brunch menu is awesome eatin.

  57. The Late P Brooks

    Paging Doctor Darwin…

    A grizzly bear pulled a woman from her tent in a small Montana town in the middle of the night and killed her before fellow campers could use bear spray to force the animal out of the area, wildlife officials said Wednesday.

    Leah Davis Lokan, 65, of Chico, California, was on a long-distance bicycling trip and had stopped in the western Montana town of Ovando when she was killed early Tuesday, said Montana Fish, Wildlife and Parks officials as they provided more details about the attack.

    ——-

    Lokan was killed on the bear’s second visit to the site where she and two fellow bicyclists were camping near the post office, officials said.

    The approximately 400-pound grizzly first awakened the campers about 3 a.m., officials said. They took food out of their tents, secured it and went back to sleep, they said.

    Not smart.

    How do you just go back to sleep after a grizzly bear does a walkthrough of your campsite?

    • kinnath

      You are the food.

    • Sensei

      I missed that tidbit.

      I just read the first paragraph of this story and thought bad luck. Even here on the east coast I used to bear bag all my food when I did multi day hiking or couldn’t put in the car away from camp.

    • Animal

      Don’t look at me, I was in Alaska.

    • Lord Humungus

      hint: you’re the food

      Back when I was a very little kid, my parents took my two brothers and I on a lot of camping trips.

      One time my mom and I were gone to the restroom while my brothers were seated around the picnic table, eating lunch or whatnot.

      My dad was getting something from the car, turned around and saw a big bear lumbering toward the picnic table. I’m not *faulting my dad here, but he just yelled at my two brothers to get running because BEAR!!!. And then proceeded to jump in the car and shut the door. There was some other comedic element where my oldest brother couldn’t get in on the passenger side since it was locked.

      *in another situation he did break many laws getting me to the hospital – at speeds in excess of whatever the speedo was on a ’74 Malibu – when I fell onto a stick that pierced my eyelid (and luckily missed my eyeball).

    • R C Dean

      Yeah, food in your tent in bear country is right at the top of the “Don’t do this” list.

      I’ll give the other campers credit – going after a grizzly with bear spray, in the dark, who is attacking somebody, takes some stones.

  58. Gustave Lytton

    Creaps. Belgian waffles close behind, follrfby sourdough then blueberry buttermilk. Honorable mention to pigs in a blanket.

    Ands it’s ser-rup. Can’t anyone speak English around here?

    • Chipwooder

      Oh god, not the pronunciation of syrup. It’s been a raging dispute in our house for close to two decades.

      • R C Dean

        Sigh-roop, right?

      • Chipwooder

        Me and the boy: see-rup
        She and the girl: suh-rup

      • R C Dean

        Mix it up. Go with “sigh-roop”.

        “What? You think I say it wrong anyway, so what difference does it make? Now, pass the sigh-roop.”

      • Lord Humungus

        And say it with a stiff British upper-crust accent.

  59. pistoffnick

    None of those choices are worth the carb hit for me. Lately it has been chaffles (https://thatlowcarblife.com/chaffles/) that I eat and mostly as a bun replacement.

    I used to work the breakfast shift at a greasy spoon diner that had two industrial Belgian waffle makers. Those and the babuska head cook’s waffle batter churned out perfectly crisp, beautiful waffles. I bet I made 20 waffles on average every morning.

    Life is too short for imitation maple syrup (pronounced “seer-rup”). I know how much work it takes to make a gallon of the real maple syrup.

    I’m still perfecting my lemon crepe recipe for mrs. pistoffnick. Apparently the cart in Central Park still has me beat.

    • Lord Humungus

      >>pronounced “seer-rup”

      proper American there.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yes!

  60. Chipwooder

    I’ve been making homemade Egg McMuffins all week. Quick, easy, delicious

    • Mojeaux

      I have done this and taught the kids to do it, too. I always keep English muffins around, and those pre-cooked Aldi’s sausage patties.

      • Ownbestenemy

        We buy the good tubes of sausage so they can slice off their party size they want. Eventually it will be my own mixture. We have nearly completed our transformation from prepackaged to just make it yourself.

  61. Gustave Lytton

    The only true unacceptable breakfast food is natto.

    • slumbrew

      Cottage cheese is American natto.

      • Sensei

        Oddly for me depends on the curd size and texture.

      • rhywun

        Yeah, there is one brand and fat percentage I like – every other brand and variety I have tried is disgusting to me.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I love cottage cheese.

    • Sensei

      Hell yes. Hotels often have a western and Japanese breakfast. I studiously avoid the Japanese side whenever possible.

    • Ownbestenemy

      You might be joking but I am as white as can be and I like natto.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Awesome. My Japanese friend I work with and we used to have jaunts to local sushi bars thought he finally would “get me” with natto.

        To me it it is no different than a nice stinky cheese

      • Sensei

        My Japanese teacher likes cheese of all kinds including moldy varieties.

        I was impressed as things like blue cheese are usually showstoppers for Asians.

        One of my Japanese friends mentioned rosemary is also generally not well liked after I was discussing a rosemary chicken recipe with her.

      • slumbrew

        Tangental, but every time I see “natto” I hear it sung, to this tune

    • Chipwooder

      And reportedly cried his eyes out as the sentence was read. Couldn’t have happened to a better guy.

    • Sean

      Ha Ha!

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Nelson Muntz approves this message.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      It is good to see scumbags get their comeuppance, now let’s do Comey and John Bren…. hahaha… I almost made it through it.

      • Chipwooder

        Don’t forget James Clapper

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Of course, a gross oversight on my part.

  62. Bobarian LMD

    Any one of the three, as long as it is served here

    There is no wrong answer on their menu.

  63. Count Potato

    Waffles, because I don’t own a waffle iron. I can make the other two myself.