Home recording, as I see it

by | Aug 5, 2021 | Fun, Music | 274 comments

Harmor, The Additive synth,

I have been playing music for 42 years so far, bla bla bla, I have always recorded my/our music whenever money allowed it. Back in the late 70’s, early 80’s, tape decks and tape were expensive, that was drug money we’re talkin’, so a decent job and some dedication, I recorded every session, eventually amassing several hundred Cassettes, then I got a Tascam.

 The Tascam 4 track recording machine was state of the art for us lowly DIYers, remember this was back when we were doing demos for record companies, there was no Spotify. I figured out how to loop back up to 10 tracks, that was fun,but events happened.

 Fast Forward, (sorry) to 2000 and my band is exploring Digital Audio Workstations, we call them DAWs, and I personally never looked back. There is no Unsuck button, well maybe autotune, Blech, however I can craft my songs at will, I play an assortment of instruments, and over the  decades have become comfortable with setting up rooms, mic placements, etc. The biggest thing I can tell you, is make sure the recording you do is what you want to hear. Don’t fix it in the mix, fix it on recording, or you will be chasing sounds, a waste of time.

Tiny Studio

 Compression. I despise it as a tool, IMO, if you need to limit a signal, maybe record the signal with better EQ? Just Say’n. All that aside, it’s a good idea to put your drums in a side chain and treat them differently than the other instruments, this way you can adjust the depth of the drums depending on how much bottom you add.

 Automation. Yep, if you have a set idea about… pretty much any parameter, you can automate the task, that’s where we get Pan sweeps and volume runups, pretty slick. Right now I work with my buddy Chuck, who lives and records in Phelan CA, welcome to the 21st c. We use the same DAWs so we can email tracks at will.

 I met a guy at work who played and had a spotify account, he said he made 180$ last year, his music is fine, but unremarkable, so….. I ended up getting a Distributor, not too pricey, 100% royalties, and I’m on a bunch of platforms, let’s see how that plays out.

 I feel I’m running out of time, and I want my work out there, Fuck YT, I’ll pay for a service to at least get me exposed, this is So much cooler than any future I could have imagined.

Tons more to say and discuss, this is My opinion, not Gospel,

/Except for the World collapsing

Spotify, Band #1, Tepme3  https://open.spotify.com/artist/6bnvmUcIo25JDSMhraJ7XG

Also iTunes, Apple music YT and more, Band #2 is upcoming, CB Soundcraft, all the good music, enjoy, you Cretins!

About The Author

Yusef drives a Kia

Yusef drives a Kia

Punctually illiterate But never late

274 Comments

  1. Brochettaward

    I will First so loudly, so triumphantly that they will no thy name is The Bro. First of all Firsters.

    • Hyperion

      You’re the Bro, OK? Now can we get about the shitposting?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Thanks

    • MikeS

      Gay.

      • Chafed

        Holy shit! You’re back!

      • MikeS
      • Chafed

        Oh thank goodness. I was afraid it was going to be New York Groove.

      • MikeS

        Nah, I already laid out some good “I’m Back” songs below.

      • MikeS

        Well…I did, but I forgot the 2 link rule and it’s being moderated.

      • Fourscore

        Well, well, well. I knew there was a reason I couldn’t sleep. Ol’ MikeS is back in town, and just in time…

      • MikeS

        How you doing? Back to 100-ish%?

    • Ownbestenemy

      I like this one.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I think you have a dog in there, I love the video, all Glib Dogs!

  2. Hyperion

    Yusef, I had ask a couple of days ago about video editing software. I had directed it specifically to CPRM. But I think he hasn’t been around much and I really need help. It’s for a very noble cause. I have a guy in South America who wants to get a 2nd Amendment like movement started there and he needs to create some Youtube presentations. I’d really appreciate if anyone can help us out here?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I use Windows Movie Maker, TBH, but my stuff is more audio oriented, WMM works well for basic stuff,

    • PudPaisley

      I’ve tried several different ones, and liked Lightworks the best. It has a lot of features, but it’s still relatively easy to use for basic stuff compared to some others I’ve tried. I use it mainly for editing live music shows / concerts. One nice feature is there is a free version that is very similar to the pro version to try it out and learn how to use the functions. You can also buy it by the month, so you can do a lot of the editing on videos first, then buy the pro version for a month or two and download a bunch of videos to youtube. You need the pro version to download high def stuff to youtube. If you want to do high def stuff, you will need at least an i7 core processor, and even that can be limiting for longer 4k videos if that’s what you want to do. To me, most videos look fine at 780p anyways. There’s a learning curve for all of them, but Lightworks was easier than other ones I tried. Here’s a link.

      https://www.lwks.com/

  3. The Last American Hero

    Speaking of music, Poppy just announced tour dates.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I’l jump right on that, Who?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I miss the days of Poppy. So much simpler then.

    • Count Potato

      I still haven’t seen her movie. It was on YouTube Red, or whatever it was called, but I don’t have a google account, and I haven’t found it anywhere.

      • The least-interesting BEAM in the world™

        Do you mean RedTube? ’Cause if’n you do, I don’t think she’s concentrating on her music anymore.

      • blackjack

        Yes, but she is a lot of help with creating beats.

      • Count Potato

        “‘I’m Poppy is a surreal comedy pilot starring American actress, singer, and YouTube personality Poppy. It premiered at the Sundance Film Festival on January 23, 2018, and is available exclusively on YouTube Premium”

        “YouTube Premium (formerly YouTube Red) is a subscription service offered by the video platform YouTube.”

    • Nephilium

      Yeah. LiveNation sent me an e-mail about the pre-sale, because she’s apparently coming here.

      I will not be attending. I did however get tickets to the Slackers/Mustard Plug 30th anniversary show coming up later this year.

  4. Jerms

    Yusef, have you ever tried epidural steroid injections for your back pain. Those give me about a month of relief once in a while.

    • Jerms

      And thanks for the article, you are a very interesting fellow.

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        Everybody on here is quite interesting, except me. I’m boring as all get-out. And I’m getting worse as I get older.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Just pretend to be interesting. Works for me.

        *grabs Dos Equis*

      • The least-interesting BEAM in the world™

        Time for a change . . .

      • Chafed

        Beer makes everyone more interesting. *Insert Simpsons video here*

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        Like the sucker at a poker game, if you don’t know who the boring person is, it’s probably you.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Not yet, but thanks just the same!

  5. Count Potato

    “Compression. I despise it as a tool, IMO, if you need to limit a signal, maybe record the signal with better EQ? Just Say’n. All that aside, it’s a good idea to put your drums in a side chain and treat them differently than the other instruments”

    A side chain is the control signal in a compressor. I think you mean bus, stem, submix, etc.

      • Count Potato

        I understand what you mean, but it’s just the wrong term.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        OK,wrong term, can you recreate it? Jeez…

      • Count Potato

        Recreate, what?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        anything from my catalogue, Good Luck,

      • Count Potato

        Now you’re just being stupid.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Who said I wasn’t stupid?

  6. westernsloper

    I have been playing guitar for weeks. That became months. I have a song in my head and am trying to figure out how to record it. I have the iRig muzzledwoodchipper recommended, (speaking of that crazy bastard where has he been?) I have the software it came with and it is very cool and way over my head. I also have apples Garage band because I am that kind of person which is also very cool. The learning curve for this stuff is huge for us who live in musical idiocy which is where I reside. But to paraphrase someone, (I believe Muzzled), “playing guitar is one of those things that is fun even if you suck.” It is my detox from my toxic work day most of my days.

    Good luck with your ventures Yusef.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Thanks WS, I have been working at Digital workstations fo a while, get a Shure SM57 and a small preamp, and you are good to go,

  7. blackjack

    This is totally cool, Yusef. I putz around with my guitar and make cool noises, but nothing good enough to consider recording. I am impressed.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      42 years, I better have a clue, Glad you like it,

  8. Yusef drives a Kia

    The Shure SM57 is far and away the best recording mic you can get, unless you are willing to spend 1000$ plus for a condenser mic, which has limited functionality,
    Vocals, guitars, the SM does in all, and has for 50+ years,

    • rhywun

      My 2nd eldest daughter has a drummer for a boyfriend.

      I am so sorry.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Yep

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It should be ok, they tend to spontaneously explode, solving the problem.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        +1000 Spinal Tap

      • pistoffnick

        She (they) seems happy, so I am happy. Her relationship seems to be working better than mine, so what do I know?

      • rhywun

        ?

        Is he hot?

        The biggest crush in my life was on a musician.

      • pistoffnick

        She is adopted. Her birth-mother and her birth-grandmother were both gorgeous. Luckily, she didn’t inherit my genes (not conventionally handsome).

        She also didn’t inherit my drive, though. She is quitting her 0.6 pharmacy job with full benefits to bartend and waitress. She has a side hustle of walking dogs and selling houseplants.

      • rhywun

        Luckily, she didn’t inherit my genes (not conventionally handsome).

        I didn’t ask about her. ?

      • pistoffnick

        Sorry, I missed that. He is not what you would call conventionally handsome. Tall, skinny, pescatarian, driven for certain things (I have spent at least 15 hours helping him learn to reverse a trailer), casual about other things (regular shaving, bathing, matching socks). He’s a good kid, but…

      • rhywun

        *swoon*

      • pistoffnick

        I don’t understand human attraction…

      • rhywun

        #meneither

        TBF, “pescatarian” is a deal-breaker. OK, maybe the bathing too.

    • rhywun

      Nauseating.

      CATO AT LIBERTY

      LOL

      Just merge with WaPo already. You both have shitty, mendacious slogans.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      gone? as in recently?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        They’ve been flirting with it, but the vaccine issue has pushed them into full statist mode.

        It’s just that we’re not governing hard enough and good enough. That’s the problem.

    • Crazy Capn Gunboat Willy

      Two thirds of the country are vaxxed. Supposedly the threats to them, even if they catch it from an un-vaxxed person, are very low because apparently the vax dials down the lethality/severity of the sickness (which sounds like bs but whatevs, the “experts” are actually saying this). So who cares if the other third of the country doesn’t get vaxxed? They’re only gonna hurt themselves, right? Is it gonna cause problems for others? Has the population ever been 100% vaxxed against any virus (after birth)? Christ, I need more beer.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I’ve been thinking that if anything increases contagiousness, it would be attenuation of symptoms. I haven’t had a cold since the Obama administration but I remember the calculus: Am I well enough to go out, with Claritin? If so, will I make other people ill?

      • rhywun

        They’re only gonna hurt themselves, right?

        “Asymptomatic spread” is their handy answer to that.

        Do your part for the community, hater.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Asymptotically, tomahto, whatevs.

      • rhywun

        I was told there would be no math.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Tomato is one Bigger than Tomato, there, easy math,

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        +1 bangs

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Uhh, the song bangs.

      • rhywun

        tomato++

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Heh. No calculations assigned from me, as I couldn’t grade them.

        Asymptomatic myth breached some time ago.

    • blackjack

      I’m so pissed about this shit. That fucking rat fucker whore bastard bitch Merrick Garland twisted the phrase from we must be apprised of the consequences for not taking the vax to ” sure we can give them consequences for not taking it.” Motherfucker. We dodged a bullet keeping that cunt of the S/C.

      • blackjack

        For prospective patients and consumers, the option to accept or refuse the product, any consequences of refusal, and alternatives to the product.

        This sentence right here. He claims that it allows the government to punish people for not taking the vax. I read it as saying no such thing. I doubt they considered the idea that people in danger from a virus would then be punished by the government on top of that. This is all about protecting the right to refuse getting it. The opposite of what the fucking Nazi claims. Motherfucker.

      • Fourscore

        The same government that can’t teach our kids to read and write (cursive?), don’t even ask about math/arithmetic and speak English as a second language are to be entrusted with our medical/health decisions.

        Cato uses the same numbers that the government has given them, linking all respiratory illnesses to Covid. My niece recently died from pneumonia, did she die from the lung cancer that she had before the pneumonia? 40 years of cigarette smoking is not a health program.

      • blackjack

        (ii) Appropriate conditions designed to
        ensure that individuals to whom the product is administered are informed—
        (I) that the Secretary has authorized
        the emergency use of the product;
        (II) of the significant known and potential benefits and risks of such use,

        and of the extent to which such benefits
        and risks are unknown; and
        (III) of the option to accept or refuse
        administration of the product, of the
        consequences, if any, of refusing administration of the product, and of the alternatives to the product that are available
        and of their benefits and risks.

        Yeah, it’s even worse in the actual text of the law. It states that the purpose of these terms to ensure that we are “informed.” How that fucking lowlife transformed that into an open door for the government to punish us, without limit, for refusing to take it is beyond the reasoning of a normal human. There is literally no limiting factor to his rationale. They can give you life in prison for saying no.

        I’m worked up about this, because they are ramping up a program to force me to get vaxxed at my work. It’s really pissing me off. They intend to punish me.

    • Grumbletarian

      From Stato:

      Thing is, in saying the vaccines are “experimental,” these people are relying on big government to justify their going unvaccinated.

      No, they’re saying “I’m not interested in taking the risk, but you do you.”

      • blackjack

        No mention of the justification for forcing people to take it. Look how fucking mendacious that is, why don’t they?

      • creech

        To be fair, I do know one man who used to complain about FDA taking too long to approve experimental drugs (for cancer) that were fully approved in other countries, but now complains that the FDA was too quick to approve the chicom-19 vaccines.

      • db

        The way I see it is that “right to try treatment” is fundamentally about personal choice and self-ownership. The rushed design, manufacture, and approval of a drug and then heavy societal pressure to put it in your body is the opposite of that.

      • blackjack

        I have no problem with the eua itself. By all means, let us take a drug before you deem it worthy. And I don’t even mind society trying to persuade me to take it. Run your ads, write your mottos, make silly memes. They are actually planning on punishing me for not getting it. Up to and including firing me. I applaud efforts to expand choice to try unauthorized medicines. I will not accept mandating them under any circumstances.

      • Nephilium

        A recent post on Astral Codex Ten (ne: Slate Star Codex) touches on this very argument in regards to Alzheimer drugs (and AIDS/HIV drugs and the ‘vid vax).

      • Gustave Lytton

        Thanks! Encapsulates what is so wrong about the FDA approval process.

      • Nephilium

        Not a problem, I think I learned of Slate Star Codex from regulars at the old site, and have been following ever since. He’s usually too long winded for my personal tastes, but he does write up some really good pieces. I also appreciate his reader survey that he does most years (and usually participate in large portions of it).

      • Chipping Pioneer

        Sounds like a BommerCon.

  9. Yusef drives a Kia

    OK Simple, get a Free DAW, then get ASIO4ALL,
    Then get an instrument,
    then learn how to play it,
    then learn how to record,
    Winning!

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Go zat way, reelly fast; if somesing gets in your way, tern! ?

      • Shpip

        /KK nods excitedly, gives thumbs-up

  10. Fourscore

    Yusef, I’m the least competent person to comment about music or art but I did enjoy your article, though I didn’t understand much beyond some of the mechanics.
    Thanks.

  11. Yusef drives a Kia

    The irony of it all is people who think they can buy sorftware and become a star, yet have never written anything nor know how to, they can’t play instruments, and tend to flop on the floor.

    • Fourscore

      I DID NOT buy the software!

      Actually I made videos of our Canadian fishing trips (which no one ever watched), high school reunion videos (I’m class historian) (which no one ever watched). People are just overwhelmed with sensory input these days, even geezers.

      • blackjack

        I didn’t “buy” the software either. Per se.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I actually bought rights through a distribution network for my music, it seems to work, and I get paid for once, i have the YT account, but also iTunes, Apple Music and Spotify, maybe something will come of it, I just got started uploading stuff,

  12. Gustave Lytton

    Even Ygritte’s body can’t redeem Honeymoon.

    • Lackadaisical

      That’s fucked up. Seems like they found the one guy who shouldn’t be evicted (if you buy their narrative) and was socially distant as fuck.

      • Lackadaisical

        Then they forced him into prison, and since he’s actually ancient couple potentially get the vid and die.

        I’m not accusing old guy’s trespassing, but fuck if the government doesn’t find a way to be the worst, no matter what.

      • Lackadaisical

        Accusing, excusing whatever.

  13. Gustave Lytton

    https://www.oregonlive.com/pacific-northwest-news/2021/08/medford-school-custodian-arrested-after-taking-significant-steps-toward-planning-mass-casualty-event-police-say.html

    Budreau called it “unfortunate” that Clay had to be fully prosecuted, because Clay prevented himself from carrying out his plans by contacting police.

    “Had he not come forward, who knows what could have happened?” Budreau said.

    I hope you remember that next time, asshole, when the person doesn’t turn themselves in first.

    and tampering with physical evidence accusing him of damaging or destroying a journal he kept at the hospital

    What are the charges for malicious prosecution and overcharging?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Don’t ever write it down!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        CTRL S is not your friend!

    • blackjack

      That’s the only way to get busted in Oregon. Turn yourself in before they even have any inkling you’re a criminal. He should have just stuck with trying to burn federal employees alive. They’d have refused to arrest him for that.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Fed Lives Don’t Matter,

  14. Lackadaisical

    Thanks all for the wishes, at home and resting now.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      you all good i hope?

    • Fourscore

      Good news, Lack, thanks for the update.

    • Nephilium

      Good news, and good luck.

  15. Gustave Lytton

    Hilarious to watch the clowns collide. Vaccination equity is about become minorities better line up or else. The state established a goal of 80% vaccination for minorities by the end of the month. For pretty much every subgroup it means increasing the daily shot count by 10X. Good luck Chuck.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I’m the new Jew, next is the Badge, i had it, and won’t take the jab,
      Fuck Off,

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        This is why I refuse the Devils brew,\
        Then another angel, a third one, followed them, saying with a loud voice, “If anyone worships the beast and his image, and receives a mark on his forehead or on his hand he also will drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is mixed in full strength in the cup of His anger; and he will be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels and in the presence of the Lamb. Revelation 14:9-10

    • rhywun

      They just need to be educated better, the poor things.

    • blackjack

      I just remember how absolutely unthinkable all of that was back then. Then, I look around myself now.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Stick to your guns and your Babies, meaning Wife and kids, family etc. I have a bad feeling about the future, at least I did my thing before the Shithouse went up in Flames,

    • rhywun

      For no particular reason, have some commie kitsch.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Was expecting Regina Spektor.

      • Chafed

        The comments are… interesting.

    • Chafed

      I was sort of expecting They Live.

      • MikeS

        How about Kiss Alive?

  16. Brochettaward

    After reading Tulip’s link from earlier, I actually kind of feel bad for the woke brigade. What really stuck out to me was just absolutely exhausting it would actually be to be a progressive unless you really tally up points on the victimhood totem. The author describes their own level of paranoia at the thought that they may have offended someone else who outranks you.

    • Nephilium

      It’s not hard to claim victimhood points though. I can claim to be a genderqueer bi-curious dragonkin online, while dressing like a guy, dating a girl, and being vanilla as fuck in the real world. Neuroatypical is another easy claim, just point out your lived experience not fitting in, and you’re golden.

      I’m a gamer… I look for ways to game systems and make advantages.

      • Brochettaward

        I think larping online is a different experience from actually having to live in the woke world of academia like the author of the article did. And I’m speaking of people who are sincere progs like the author. They started out wanting to believe, but were so beaten down by the other members of the cult that they were pushed to their breaking point.

      • Nephilium

        At least they had a breaking point. The child of a friend of mine (last I heard) is claiming to be some flavor of trans, and the mother asked that everyone refer to them by their new name of Sparkle going forward (this was just before the ‘vid lockdowns started). Another friend of mine is this child’s uncle, and was bitching that he’s going to make mistakes, not out of malice, but out of habit, and he was concerned that it would damage relations within the family. The guy who was concerned got ordained and officiated a marriage ceremony for his niece and her girlfriend.

        There are times I specifically will take the stand (amongst those who know me) on the side of conservative issues and the like just because they’ve known me for years, and know I’m not evil, just in the chance that it’ll spark some cognitive dissonance in their heads.

        /looks at the clock

        /realizes my only task for tomorrow is driving out to PA

        /goes to get another drink

      • Akira

        There are times I specifically will take the stand (amongst those who know me) on the side of conservative issues and the like just because they’ve known me for years, and know I’m not evil, just in the chance that it’ll spark some cognitive dissonance in their heads.

        Sometimes I try to do that. I usually point out how some policy or another is really fucking over poor people and giving a handout to the rich – that is the most likely to get some kind of agreement and make them think. Talking about how the rich have rights too and they’re not just cows that exist to be milked? They’re not receptive to that at all.

        But sometimes, people are sitting around attacking people with non-Leftist viewpoints, and they either don’t know I’m a non-Leftist or they think I’ll just keep my head down. Those are the times that I bombard them with counter-evidence and maybe even attack their bona fides (“if you supported Hillary Clinton, you’ve lost your right to call yourself anti-war”). This procedure never changes their minds and usually just makes them angry, but I refuse to let them be comfortable in their little bubble. I refuse to let them sit around at a family gathering and laugh it up about how people who oppose [standard Leftist viewpoint] are so stupid and evil.

        Plus, any neutral onlookers might be receptive to my arguments.

    • rhywun

      I could only skim that wall of text. I felt bad for him but at the same time… really?

      But then I looked back at my youngster self… I was a thoroughly conventional liberal. I really gave no thought to it whatsoever. Attended one rally against “Operation Rescue” which didn’t fit me at all but it was the expected thing to do. I didn’t actually apply any brain cells to political stuff until well into my thirties.

  17. blighted_non_millenial

    Powerful shit from someone who has a lot in the game. (Cardano/ADA founder Charles Hoskinson)
    _
    https://youtu.be/JEF8dwF36qY

  18. MikeS

    25th!

    • Brochettaward

      This may be the most shameful post in Glibertarians history.

      • MikeS

        Well, sure. After every single post you’ve ever made.

      • MikeS

        I mean…I’m probably just joking.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Oh shut up up idiot,

    • Nephilium

      Mike!

      Long time no see. Hope things are going well for you.

      • MikeS

        Very well. I hope the same for you and everyone else. I have some catching up to do…

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Mike! good to see you, Sup Bro!

      • MikeS

        Tall cans, buddy. Tall cans.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Talking to a friend, One of Us One of us!

      • MikeS

        Are you still in Michigan?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        oh yes, Manistee.Head of the Dsic club , Gaurdians of the Park,
        We rock!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        And I can’t spell!

      • MikeS

        Nice! Glad you’re involved in a Dsic club!

      • Nephilium

        Well, here’s some important stuff… assuming you like cocktails.

      • MikeS

        Well. I have some reading (and drinking) to do.

  19. MikeS

    If Steely Dan was such a great band, there would be (good) bands covering their songs by now. Fight me.

    • straffinrun

      Nobody covers Air Supply and you’re telling me they aren’t awesome?

      • Chafed

        Yes. Yes, he is.

      • MikeS

        *tingle up the leg*

      • MikeS

        Yes. Yes, I am.

      • straffinrun

        Fine. But Steely Dan’s Aqualung is a masterpiece.

      • MikeS

        Straff might be the funniest guy here. Just sayin’

    • Chafed

      That is correct. Like a law of physics correct. There is nothing to debate.

      • Mojeaux

        Oh stop it. Not you too.

  20. Yusef drives a Kia

    I’m so out of sorts, I need someone to kick me in the ass, and get me moving,, Bad back or not, I need to move along, Alone sucks,

    • MikeS

      Man the fuck up! Don’t make me go all the way to the mitten and kick your ass! Get going’!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Ha! dare ya! I’ll fiugre it out,

  21. straffinrun

    Spending all day at the hospital waiting for the wife to get out of surgery. Am I a creep for checking out the nurses while I wait?

    • Plinker762

      Do you have a mirror on the toe of your shoe?

      • straffinrun

        Why? I’m still flexible enough to bend over that far.

    • PieInTheSky

      Am I a creep for checking out the nurses while I wait? – not if they are hot.

      • Chafed

        The vampire is right.

    • Chafed

      You really ought to post some pics. Whatever they look like, some on this site is going to get their itch scratched.

    • PieInTheSky

      the wife I hope will be okay otherwise you would not be checking out nurses

      • straffinrun

        Think you may have that backwards.

    • MikeS

      Male or female nurses?

    • PieInTheSky

      three

    • Chafed

      Yusef is going to pass out from all the blood flowing to his erection.

    • PieInTheSky

      Also maybe mildly nsfw I dunno anymore as I work from home

    • MikeS

      That’s not a redhead.

      • PieInTheSky

        details

      • Chafed

        You get me. You really, really get me. Glad you are back.

      • MikeS
      • MikeS

        Update: last week we were sitting out on the patio and saw our rescue bat fly over us. Two nights in a row. Pretty cool.

  22. Yusef drives a Kia

    i say hello, my back says no, pc out!

  23. Yusef drives a Kia

    Oh God, my leg is is agon…..

    • Chipping Pioneer

      Where did you last see it?

      • Festus

        Laying in the corner where he threw it in a fit of pique?

  24. Fourscore

    Folks (County Sheriff) in Nisswa been concerned, MikeS, I knew you wouldn’t let them down…

    • MikeS

      No. Attendance at Honey Harvest was never in doubt. The Nisswa CoC would never forgive my brother and I if we skipped.

  25. Mojeaux

    I knew if I said Steely Dan 3 times, MikeS would show up.

    • MikeS

      I’m like the Candyman but more pale and not near as cool

    • UnCivilServant

      I have an in-office day today, so I’m making sure I’m awake early enough to not stress the commute. *looks at time* I’m awake early enough.

    • Sean

      Mornin!

      • UnCivilServant

        The office is quiet at this time of the morning.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, U and Sean ::glances downthread:: and rhy and homey!

      • UnCivilServant

        I responded to your feedback and had a few more questions.

        And how are things this morning?

      • Gender Traitor

        Got it. Will respond after I wake up a bit more.

        Got a sad phone call from my oldest sister yesterday evening. Her best friend – a gal we also know and like very much – has been very ill for a long time. Friend is now in ICU on life support…from which she’ll be removed this morning.

        Hesitated to mention this, and maybe I shouldn’t have. Sorry to be a downer this morning…but that’s how things are going.

      • Festus

        Ah Feck! Sorry, my Dear…

      • UnCivilServant

        Don’t be sorry for sharing. Unless you really did want us to continue prattling on whatever random inanity was wandering through our skulls.

        I am sorry to hear about your sister’s friend, all I have to offer are my sympathies, and an equally sympahtetic ear should it be needed.

      • Tres Cool

        I read it here 1st- ” a sorrow shared is halved; a joy shared is doubled”

        Kinda what we’re here for.

      • Festus

        Glibs in a nutshell right there, Tres.

      • Sean

        So sorry to hear that.

      • Ghostpatzer

        Oh hell. Sorry to hear that, GT.

      • Gender Traitor

        Thank you, everyone. I just feel so bad for my sister. I still remember that, as far as I knew, she didn’t have any friends in high school. At some point, she had written out all the lyrics to this old song on one of those canvas-covered ring binders. Things started getting better for her in college, and she and her hubby have a very active social life…but this is going to be very hard for her.

      • Festus

        Agh!

    • Ghostpatzer

      Only on Sunday.

      Love the background music, right out of a turn of the (20th) century campaign rally.

    • Festus

      He can’t even manage to walk across a lawn gracefully anymore. This is elder abuse. Apologies to 4×20 but he’s going to slip and break something, sooner rather than later. I wish Fourscore was the President.

      • Ghostpatzer

        I wish he’d been president 20 years ago.

      • Festus

        Preach!

      • Festus

        Joe used to be known for his sparkling blue eyes. Nowadays they resemble the black pits of hell. My pupils haven’t been that large since 1995. He’s doped up like Jim Morrison chasing a bare-assed Indian across the Sonoran desert.

      • Ghostpatzer

        Joe Biden, the Lizard King? Checks out.

      • Festus

        “Levels, Man…” You’re a cool guy GP!

    • Festus

      Too Hipsterish but I dug the chicks.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      He’s just an old fool practicing early ‘60s and before politics: kissing babies, chatting up kids, and the like. It was creepy then and it’s even creepier now but good luck getting someone who’s senile and incredibly powerful to restrain himself from it.

      • Festus

        He pinched a little girl’s nip back in 2015. What the fuck kind of family did that sick fuck raise?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        A very abnormal one.

      • Festus

        Reminds me of those people that excuse their dog’ behavior when it starts humping on your leg. “Aw, don’t mind him! He LIKES you!”

      • Suthenboy

        Have you seen the Hunter pics?

        ‘Mornin all.

      • Ghostpatzer

        Mornin’. I’ve seen too many Hunter pics, are there some new even more cringe worthy ones?

      • Festus

        There are a bunch that I have no interest in and don’t have a place in my browser history. Mostly hitting the pipe are the ones that I’ve watched. Just pathetic.

    • db

      People sharing these pics is the real reason Apple is instituting their scanning software?

  26. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam

    whats goody yo

    • Festus

      A work order that floated down from the aether was dealt with over a week ago. Sent photo proof and everything. It always was dealt with a week ago…

  27. Festus

    Man, you bunch are chatty lot! I find it hard to catch up IRT… Mornin’ all!

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Fes! ::slurps more coffee::

      • Festus

        ::tips beer:: “How YOU doin?”

  28. Tres Cool

    Gonna be hot today, and hotter this weekend. Someone please pray that I get off my lazy ass and cut my grass.

    • Festus

      We get rainy and cool for the weekend which works out quite meshingly with my Lit-ul Plan of drinking my ass off and commenting on Glibs! Back to the furnace next week.

  29. Tres Cool

    Despite my baby-mama’s family owning a really, really, good meat market (not that the miserable bitch ever cuts me a deal) Im tempted to throw some money @ Omaha Steaks.
    They seem to be having a big 50% off event.

    • Sean

      GF went to pick up strip steaks yesterday at the Fresh Market. They didn’t have any. Sold out.

      Sad!

      • Tres Cool

        My kroger had some really good looking briskets, but I already have 2 in the freezer.

        Decisions.

    • rhywun

      ORLY? *bookmarked for later*

    • Gender Traitor

      Would baby-mama’s family’s meat market happen to be a certain meat market in a certain suburb perilously close to an airport?

      • Gender Traitor

        (Come to think of it, the one I have in mind may be in the township. But you know which one I mean.)

      • Tres Cool

        No.

    • Tres Cool

      What if they see the dick pics I send to Jugsy and assume that my crabbed, diminutive, organ is….

      Oh, God no

      • Festus

        “Arthritic Crab” ? Band name or B-side?

      • Tres Cool

        According to SugaFree’s last Joemala episode, Bidens hands.

      • Festus

        It was a call-back.

    • Sean

      *sigh*

      How does this apply to photos of guns & steaks?

      • UnCivilServant

        Dangerous extreme content.

    • Ghostpatzer

      This is getting ugly. The next logical step in this progression will be to implement PreCrime, ala Minority Report, using the advanced analytics which we know are never, never wrong

      • Tres Cool

        One of the comments pointed out that the machine learning is so good…..from the company that made Siri.

      • Sean

        The .gov would *never* abuse this.

    • rhywun

      Wow. Outrageous.

      And of course if Apple is doing it, everyone else will be too.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I just switched to Apple dammit

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The is the electronic equivalent of drug dogs.

      “The computer said you might have kiddie porn on your phone sir. Apple will provide us with the key to unlock it now.”

    • Suthenboy

      Pedos for now. That is the camel’s nose in the tent.

      • Festus

        I dig camel toes but not those ones!

      • Suthenboy

        I wonder what they would find on Joe Biden’s phone. Heh. Pizza gate indeed.

      • R.J.

        Biden family hit hardest by new Apple scanning program.