An Introduction to the Dark Web

by | Aug 11, 2021 | Privacy, Technology | 242 comments

The Onion Router (Tor) is a scheme to provide encrypted and anonymous communication over the public Internet. Many people here use a Virtual Private Network (VPN) to encrypt their Internet traffic and hide their Internet connection’s IP address. The Onion Router is like many VPNs daisy chained end-to-end. The software is free and open-source. The service is free but sometimes sluggish. The network infrastructure of Tor nodes is provided by volunteers with a variety of incentives.

The easiest way to access The Onion Router is to download and install the Tor Browser which is based on Mozilla Firefox and combined with Tor software:

https://www.torproject.org/download/

When invoked the Tor Browser first establishes a circuit of Tor nodes as follows:

– A random entry node to which the Tor Browser sends web traffic.

– A random set of intermediate nodes through which the web traffic is bounced.

– A random exit node from which the web traffic will reappear on the public Internet if that’s where the target web site is.

The Tor nodes can be anywhere in the world. The web traffic is encrypted before being sent to the entry node and decrypted before being emitted by the exit node. The overall effect is the same as a VPN.

After the circuit is established the user experience is that of a highly secured web browser. The entirety of the public Internet is available including things that are only available via Tor.

Who volunteers to dedicate computer power and Internet bandwidth to Tor? Entry nodes and intermediate nodes are often maintained by freedom-loving individuals and organizations, universities, and libraries. Exit nodes, where the traffic is decrypted, are almost exclusively run by governments who are intensely interested in snooping on traffic that naive users think is secure.

This is the thing about using Tor to access web sites on the public Internet. Everything you do *will* be monitored and recorded by one government or another. The Tor Browser has the HTTPS-Only option turned on by default so web traffic will almost always have end-to-end HTTPS encryption on top of the encryption Tor provides. This means the government can only see encrypted data but you can be assured the data will be preserved. An encryption scheme that is unbreakable now may not be unbreakable in the future and there is no statute of limitations on treasonous discussion doubting the perfect wisdom of the CDC.

It’s possible to combine Tor software and web server software to make a web site that is only available via Tor. No exit node is involved so no government snooping is possible. This is the entry level of the Dark Web, the URLs of which are recognizable because they’re a name followed by a long string of random-looking characters and end with “.onion”. There is nothing illegal, immoral, or fattening about accessing a Tor-only web site but it’s true they tend to be on the dodgy side. I particularly recommend staying away from this one:

facebookwkhpilnemxj7asaniu7vnjjbiltxjqhye3mhbshg7kx5tfyd.onion

Entering “dark web site list” into the Tor Browser’s search bar, which is animated by DuckDuckGo, will produce a plethora of results but as of this writing there’s a slight snag that may affect your slumming. The Tor Project recently changed the URL naming scheme and old names will eventually stop working. Old Tor URLs have a much shorter string of random-looking characters after the name and very old Tor URLs don’t even have an initial name. Long Tor URLs like the Facebook one above are the new standard.

About The Author

Richard

Richard

242 Comments

  1. Yusef drives a Kia

    No

  2. Scruffy Nerfherder

    That’s always been the downside of Tor. It paints a huge target on your traffic for the assholes in Ft Meade

    • gbob

      You nailed it for me.

      Thats the problem. If you can make a difference, they would already have you.

  3. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    Good info, Richard! I first hear about Tor and downloading stuff years ago, but I never understood what it was or how to access such things.

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      ME TALK LIKE STEVE SMITH

      • The Gunslinger

        STEVE SMITH TEACH YOU TO TALK GOOD BY TEACH MEAN…

  4. Hyperion

    So, ‘Ree-Shard’, it’s like this. There ain’t no fucking aliens and there ain’t no fucking Dark Web. Comprende?

  5. rhywun

    OK, Fed.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I only trust what I read on the Gli… ohhShit!

  6. Ownbestenemy

    facebookwkhpilnemxj7asaniu7vnjjbiltxjqhye3mhbshg7kx5tfyd.onion is evil.

    • rhywun

      Have you seen googlewkhpilnemxj7asaniu7vnjjbiltxjqhye3mhbshg7kx5tfyd.onion lately?! SMDH

  7. trshmnstr the terrible

    Entry nodes and intermediate nodes are often maintained by freedom-loving individuals and organizations, universities, and libraries.And the NSA.

    I guarantee the Feds and their international equivalents own a not insignificant portion of entry and intermediate nodes.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Painting a target on your back? nope, I’m a deplorable and can’t YOOSE a POOTER

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Yes

      They absolutely do

    • Sensei

      That’s always been my thinking too.

    • Nephilium

      I’d have to search, but I believe the NSA was involved in some of the more popular TOR clients out there.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        They’ve been involved in almost all of the encryption and privacy efforts since the 90’s. I imagine they’ve tried to insert poison pills in most of them.

  8. DEG

    I particularly recommend staying away from this one:

    Looks like a honeypot.

      • rhywun

        GOT DICK?

        LOL

  9. pistoffnick

    I like the Imperial Library of Trantor to “borrow” books.

  10. rhywun

    Yikes we went from a forecast of “no rain” tonight to a giant storm barrelling into town. WTF, summer?

    • Ted S.

      You’re not looking forward to the 106-degree heat index tomorrow?

      • rhywun

        I was having heat-flashes “at work” (i.e. in my inadequately air-conditioned LR) today.

        Manopause sucks.

    • LJW

      Same happened here from extreme heat wave to mid 80s and rain for the next 5 days. **Dons tinfoil** they always predict the temperature will be much higher than it turns out. I think they want a specific narrative to be occuring.

      • rhywun

        Well, except I can see the giant storm on the radar. Oh, and I just heard its approach.

        By barrelling in I meant, like, now.

    • limey

      I don’t like it at all when storms barrel in. I don’t mind if they distantly rumble, but barreling is right out.

    • Chafed

      Isn’t this good for you? It’s not like it will screw up your commute.

  11. The Hyperbole

    So this is the end, Huh? No Wednesday Zoom, SP and OMWC have been AWOL for weeks, the quality of the shit-posting on the site is degrading daily. It was a good run while we had it, where are you fellow kids going to go? Back to Reason or whatever the latest right wing social media disaster is? I’ll probably just lurk on the Twitter and disengage from political discourse altogether, It’s probably for the best. Sayonara Nerds.

    • MikeS

      Sounds about right.

      • Spudalicious

        I think it’s your fault.

      • MikeS

        Wait…I get to take the credit for Hyperbole leaving?!?!?

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Credit, and our sincere thanks.

      • Spudalicious

        What’s your favorite Scotch?

      • MikeS

        Macallan 12 18

      • The Hyperbole

        I’ll miss you the most.

    • db

      All right, now that he’s gone, the Zoom’s back on, right?

      • Nephilium

        Fine you dicks.

        I’ll kick one off and hand it over to the first person who shows up.

      • rhywun

        LOL

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      Well, bye.

    • robc

      Longer than I expected.

      • MikeS

        That’s what she said.

        Not about Hyperbole…about me.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      See Ya!

      • The Hyperbole

        Oh wait, I’ll miss you the most, fuck that MikeS guy.

      • MikeS

        Liar.

    • Brochettaward

      The Hyperbole is just upset that I gave his mother the First-over.

  12. limey

    Dark web = the unnecessarily complicated interweb where feds foil their own “trafficking” schemes and Ross Ulbricht gets thrown in jail for eternity.

  13. ignoreLander

    Tried it a while back. It was so damn slow it was unworkable for me….

  14. blackjack

    Nice article and I have an interest in the dark web, but…

    OT. The morons who have decided what medicines I need for the diseases I don’t have could get their shit together enough to even properly propagandize me this morning, having sent my group in after the “presentation.” However, the night shift actually, at least made it to their session.

    My buddy went and beforehand, I gave him three questions. Well, I gave him more, but he only got off three.

    A, What was the outcome of the phase three trials?
    B, How long does it usually take to acquire approval for a new drug through the FDA
    and C, How many drugs are typically granted approval versus how many are denied?

    The “answer” to all three questions was, ” I don’t know. I’ll look it up and get back to you.” Three times in a row. My buddy told them they are idiots and come back when they have a real doctor. This was the big push to get more notches in the vaxxed column. I’m glad I missed it.

    I did find out that all of the punishments are slated to start raining down sometime in October, which coincidentally is after the Supreme court resumes. I assume they want to slow roll it and make sure they aren’t buying themselves a bunch of trouble (narrator’s voice: They are.)

  15. The Bearded Hobbit

    Protonmail offers a VPN option.

    However, I simply assume that all of my transmissions are being monitored by the enemy.

    • limey

      However, I simply assume that all of my transmissions are being monitored by the enemy.

      Every email signed off with “ps – fuck off, tulpae!”?

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        I should put that in my .sig.

    • Nephilium

      Even with most encryption and the like you have to worry about MITM (Man In The Middle) attacks.

      • MikeS

        That was a good show. I didn’t know that kid is now hacking people. It’s sad how many child actors have troubles in adult life.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      I use it to keep the ISP and my cloud enabled network gear guessing. The NSA is gonna figure out what I’m doing short of me setting up a private, air gapped network with a couple of trusted neighbors. Even then, I’m skeptical that they wouldn’t be able to get into it if they really wanted to.

  16. Tulip

    I am enjoying “Chris Porter: A man from Kansas” on Prime. Complaining about how men don’t do man shit anymore. He says your dad didn’t teach you? Get on YouTube and let YouTube be your dad.

    • MikeS

      Chris Porter is fucking hilarious.

    • db

      What could possibly go wrong?

    • The Gunslinger

      I changed the oil in a Prius on Sunday afternoon. Does that count as manly?

      • MikeS

        Changing the oil on Prius sounds like the equivalent of letting a hot chick peg you.

      • blackjack

        Hey! At least I get paid good money to do it. The oil, not the other.

      • MikeS

        Well, getting paid to change the oil on some other guys Prius is like getting paid to “change the oil” on the guy’s gal. Not really cool, but not a bad gig.

      • Lackadaisical

        That you do for free?

      • MikeS

        I’m altruistic that way.

      • Spudalicious

        I think the pegging would be more pleasurable than owning a Prius.

      • blackjack

        I thought they threw that in, when you buy one?

      • The Hyperbole

        *insert standing ovation GIF*

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        “excuse me sir, please step into the new owner room for your re-orientation meeting”

      • Spudalicious

        YOU, win the internet this day.

      • MikeS

        *slow clap*

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        The guy on the mo-ped at Sturgis.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Please continue…

    • limey

      I’m a huge fan of youtube in having taught me a great many subject-specific things. It’s a taboo here, generally, because there are a lot of old school tradesmen, craftsmen, etc who are resentful and suspicious of youtube learners. One example is that using American terms for things marks you out as a Walt, a pretender, or just someone not worthy of respect because you didn’t learn the “right way”. If you hang around such people a lot you sometimes hear about how youtubers/online channels are stupid and don’t know what they’re talking about, but generally what they mean is, they don’t trust that the younger generations or those who would otherwise be their students and apprentices to be proficient in sifting out the good from the bad or to understand the more nuanced concepts. Generally it’s not mentioned at all, and if a young feller mentions it there is a tense silence or it’s ignored with a furrowed brow.

      I’m spewing a lot of words but I’ve come across this in at least three different trades. I met a self-taught machinist recently and even he was reluctant to admit the help he gleaned from youtube videos. I even knew exactly what channel/video he was referring to when he brought it up.

      Based on my experience, I believe the combination of a good bullshit filter, and seeking out the right channels really helps. Unfortunately also based on my experience, most young people prefer clickbait stupidity that is only LARPing as substantive content.

      • blackjack

        I learned a huge amount about machining on youtube. I tend to learn better from reading texts, but there’s things that video really helps to clarify. Fuck what people think. There’s a lot of prejudice all over the place. Learn what you want, do what you want and be proud of yourself. To hell with a bunch of stuck up assholes trying to claim superiority. If you get something done that you wanted to get done, you’re ahead of 95% of all the rest of people who mostly just bitch about others, anyway.

      • limey

        *raises glass*

        Well said.

      • MikeS

        There is a ton of good machining content out there, isn’t there? And more coming along all the time. It’s a great time to be alive.

  17. Hyperion

    SPACE SMITH SAY FROM DARK SPACE, COME ON IN, SPACE FINE, RAPE YOU LAST!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      ELON SMITH CONTROL SOLAR SYSTEM! WATCH!

    • limey

      If TPTB fully canonize SPACE SMITH could they please use the picture of the big space blob humping the ship from Star Trek?

  18. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Tor? Why bother, if you’re not doing anything wrong you’ve got nothing to hide you bunch of damn pervs.

    • MikeS

      Even when I read that phrase in jest my blood pressure rises.

    • Fourscore

      The more time they spend investigating and analyzing me the less time they’ll have to be looking over y’alls shoulder. They won’t believe anyone could be as technically ignorant and figure I’m hiding something.

  19. Mojeaux

    I used Tor for a while. Well, I tried, since it was UNusable.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      Too many sites are filtering IP addresses to make Tor or even VPNs viable for normal usage. I have to shut my VPN off for every third site to function.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Maybe try routing through a different country. I was having the same problem with US connections but The Netherlands seems to be golden for some reason.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        *turns on Netherlands VPN*

        Thanks! I’ll see how it goes.

      • MikeS

        I randomly tried a couple different countries last time a site blocked me and it didn’t work, but I’ll try the Netherlands next time. Thanks for the tip.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Switzerland and Sweden tend to work too but with worse connection speeds.

      • MikeS

        Good to know.

        Newb question: Does the VPN service you use affect such things? I’m using Mozilla’s VPN

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        The performance issues or the sites not working issues?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Not sure, I use a paid one. The freebies seem like a honeypot to me but that could be the same with some of the paid I suppose.

      • MikeS

        To Trashy’s question; yes. You say Netherlands works for you, maybe Zimbabwe is a better choice on my VPN…performance-wise and sites working? I know some trial and error could answer this, but just curious if this is a VPN specific thing or not.

        And FYI; Mozilla’s VPN isn’t free. $5/month.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        1) regarding performance, you’re most likely going to be limited by the particular server in question. The overseas links are very fast and extremely high bandwidth.

        2) regarding sites not showing up, it depends. Usually, whole groups of IP addresses are blacklisted. The likelihood that the IP addresses for two vpn servers in the same country happen to fall in the same group of IP addresses is pretty high. If not, I’d say they’re equally likely to fall into different blacklisted groups.

        3) regarding Mozilla VPN. It wouldn’t shock me if they’re directly forwarding a copy of every single packet to 5 different federal agencies. Those fucks went hyper woke and started abusing their customers with forced updates a couple years back.

      • MikeS

        1) Thank you.

        2) Thank you.

        3) Well shit. Better options? …for $5 or less? ?

      • Brochettaward

        Why switch now? The feds already know all about you and your sick obsession with GILFs.

      • MikeS

        Your mom doesn’t call it “sick”.

      • slumbrew

        Damn your nimble fingers, Trashy!

      • MikeS

        Ugh. Many folks have talked about Proton. I guess Mozilla’s marketing team got me at a week moment.

        Thanks for the info and advice! Will be switching to Proton.

      • Chafed

        I have used Nord VPN for a couple of years. If you buy a plan it’s something like $3/month.

      • tripacer

        I thought Nord was the same thing as Proton…. No?

  20. db

    Zoom is on

    • Tundra

      Link?

      • MikeS

        facebookwkhpilnemxj7asaniu7vnjjbiltxjqhye3mhbshg7kx5tfyd.onion

      • Tundra

        Mike! How are you brother?

      • MikeS

        Doing well. Busy as hell. 68% sure I am going to HH21

      • Tundra

        Excellent! I’m in CO, so I can’t put a number on it, but I’m trying to make it happen!

      • MikeS

        Permanently?

      • Tundra

        Nothing is permanent. but we sold our place in Minne and signed a 12 month lease here.

      • MikeS

        Damn! That’s cool!

        As I remember it; last we talked about, it was down to CO or ND. Not sure how CO won that contest, but if you’re happy, then great, I guess!

      • Tundra

        It is cool!

        CO won because both kids are here. It’s pretty goddamn cool to look out the window and see mountains.

      • MikeS

        That’s really awesome! And, I bet the kids are thrilled that Mom and Dad followed them to college! ?

        Also, mountains are overrated. Flat is where it’s at.

        Hope you can make HH, buddy. Wouldn’t be the same without you.

      • rhywun

        I can see the hills of Staten Island out my window – does that count?

      • Tundra

        Hah!

        Yeah, our parents never encouraged us to gtf out of Minne, so we’re following the advice we gave to the kids.

        My son is a senior and I don’t think he’ll ever leave the mountains. My daughter isn’t far behind. The funny thing is that we are more mobile than the kids, so if they end up in AK or something, there we go!

        I am hoping to be there. I am trying to combine a business trip back. Either way, I’m counting on you and Matt to keep Jimbo away from ttyrants’s lovely wife!

      • db

        Too late; it’s off now. Link was above.

      • Tundra

        Fine. I was gonna show doggies and mountains!

      • db

        Aw man. We shut it down about 3 minutes before I saw your post.

      • Tundra

        Lol. Next time. Neither are going anywhere!

  21. hayeksplosives

    People with security clearances are flat out instructed not to use TOR.

    We were even warned not to read Wikileaks.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      I’m not surprised. High likelihood of acquiring malware and/or attracting state actor attention.

      • mikey

        The wikileaks thing was about you getting unauthorized access to classified info. Kinda funny.

  22. straffinrun

    I’m gonna stay at glibs. Dorknet > Darknet.

    • Mojeaux

      Hey, Straff. I have a client who wants an audiobook done and I was given your name as someone who might be interested. I know nothing about audiobooks. I’m just trying to gather names for my client. If you’re interested, please email me. esb10 at b10mediaworx dot com. Thank you!

      • straffinrun

        As in the client needs a reader? I haven’t done one for years. I’ll talk to you about it, but I’ve got a lot on my plate right now.

      • Mojeaux

        No problem. I only told my client I would ask around.

      • Chafed

        Moj if you are looking for a female voice let me know. I have a friend who did VO work for me. She’s very good.

      • Mojeaux

        I can ask, but I think he wants a male voice. This is a book on the end times and the Book of Revelation.

      • Chafed

        That’s okay. I have a name if it’s helpful. It sounds like it’s not.

      • MikeS

        I know how to read out loud. Just sayin’.

  23. Yusef drives a Kia

    I’m so Fucking pissed off! Why even bother?

  24. blackjack

    Called in for jury duty tomorrow. Federal court downtown. I get to call in and let them know they are paying me to relax instead of work. Whoo-Hoo.

    • hayeksplosives

      If you get called to serve, at least we know one juror will do the right think.

      • blackjack

        I got to last time. I’m interested to see how different it is in federal court.

  25. creech

    On TOS today, John Stossel says “the United States could beam internet into Cuba” in response to the Cuban commies shutting down internet service in their nation. Now, it would be hard to find another adult who was less technological savvy than me, but Stossel’s remedy doesn’t sound to me like that’s the way the internet works. So, who needs to consult a typical 9 year old about this – Stossel or me?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Well, we could force Elon to move some of his satellites Easy right?
      /Elon laughs from on high,

    • rhywun

      Elon is working on beaming the internet to the world, so… seems legit to me.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      You need something at the other end of the beam to convert it from RF waves to something usable by a computer. Unless they’re planning on air dropping HughesNet satellite dishes and Starlink receivers, I’m not sure that anything will be accomplished by “beaming” internet to Cuba.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Boats full of Modems?

    • Chafed

      That sounds like an incomplete plan.

    • MikeS

      In his defense, he may be making an assumption about cell phones as opposed to computers, but to answer your question, Stossel.

  26. Gustave Lytton

    https://www.oregonlive.com/crime/2021/08/prosecutors-ask-judge-to-ban-capitol-riot-suspect-from-having-weapons-after-involvement-in-portland-clashes.html

    Huh. So someone who hasn’t violated any of his release conditions (which are often unconstitutionally broad and unlawful) or violated any law, can be stripped of his constitutional rights without being convicted of a crime (Sen Lautenberg: ‘Of course! There’s nothing wrong with that!’). Clearly not living in a banana republic.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Sir! there are no Bananas Here!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Love it!

      • MikeS

        My very first “trip abroad” with Proton and apparently this song is not available in the Netherlands…or something.

      • MikeS
      • Chafed

        That’s not AC/DC. Also, you missed your shout out on Sunday. *cough* ungrateful *cough*

      • MikeS

        Well, the greatest band in the land doesn’t have a song for every situation.

        Or do they?

        No, they don’t, but damn that’s a cool tune. I’ve forgot about 98% of what I learned about music in school, but this song seems to my unrefined ears to be so unlike the vast majority of AC/DC songs. I mean, the key it’s played in. It’s one of those songs to play for people who say “all AC/DC songs sound the same”.

        Regarding Sunday’s shout out… I will go check it out post-haste. I’m easing my way back into the Glibenning. It had really gotten to be a time-suck for me and I’m trying to not get carried away.

      • Chafed

        Wow. That is a deep cut. Thanks for linking it.

        I understand the time suck aspect of it. There are too many interesting people here. Stiil, where else will you find your brother from another mother giving a reason to flash the devil horns??

      • MikeS

        ????

        I know. It does feel good to dip my toe back in.

      • Chafed

        Thank doG it’s your toe.

      • MikeS

        And here we go…an hour+ past my bedtime.

        g’night all

    • rhywun

      Well, he’s “anti-LGBT” – whatever that means – so of course he should have no rights. I mean come on.

  27. straffinrun

    Good news: Tomorrow War wasn’t completely woke. Bad News: Wouldn’t matter if it were. That was one awful movie.

    • Chafed

      I saw a couple of ads for it and was uninterested. That’s kind of sad because I love scifi.

      • straffinrun

        Yep. The trailer got me interested, too. Whoever created the hook did a good job, but who ever developed the story deserves to be drafted.

      • Ownbestenemy

        We watched it. It was a brain slug to enjoy a couple of beers while wondering how much time was left in the movie.

      • Chafed

        Ouch.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I know, I should be a film critic.

    • slumbrew

      _almost_ watched that tonight – instead, just finished “Boss Level”, which I enjoyed quite a bit.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Yeah, not so good,

  28. Ownbestenemy

    CNN has that hack Dr. Wen state that cloth masks don’t work or are not enough and everyone nods compliantly.

    Rand Paul says the same thing and he is a warlock that needs to be cast back to the hell he was born in.

    Aint our country grand.

    • MikeS

      Our country is grand. The people who reside in it are so-so.

    • Chafed

      Sounds factually correct. I’ll clench my butt while asking what policy recommendations followed that observation.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Rightfully so. I think she wants sexually confused school nurses to jab long rods into the children twice weekly.

        *My poor attempt at appeasing the hyperbole cause we all need that “one guy” here*

      • Chafed

        The way the CDC is going, this could be true.

    • Gender Traitor

      Rand has Fox News Syndrome. Per Family Guy:

      Lois: Where’d you hear that?
      Chris: FOX News.
      Lois: Then it’s a lie; everything FOX News says is a lie.
      Chris: But this one’s true, Mom; you saw it with your own eyes, and then you reported it on FOX News.
      Lois: Even true things once said on FOX News become lies.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Sometimes Family Guy can be very funny.

      • Chafed

        That show used to be insightful and hilarious. It’s really gone downhill.

      • MikeS

        When MacFarlane isn’t too busy being a progressive puke, he can be excellent at social commentary/satire. Unfortunately, his tribalism seems to have overridden his limited open-mindedness.

  29. Penguin

    Is there any way to easily download YT videos?

      • Penguin

        Thanks.

      • Penguin

        GL, is that strictly an audio file DL’r?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Does video. I’ve downloaded music videos and quilting stuff.

    • dorvinion

      youtube-dl is what I use

      Pretty sure it works on windows and Mac

      Works for a lot of different sites

    • Ownbestenemy

      I think it was someone here (B. P.?) that said if one were to project a bit, that the Steele Dossier and Pee Pee Tapes were really about Hunter and never about Trump.

  30. straffinrun

    Listening to online grunge radio station. STP-cool. Alice In Chains-Nice. Follow that with Creed? What is wrong with people?

    • Gustave Lytton

      Lull them in, then pounce.

      • Chafed

        Must be a Republican station.

    • Chafed

      Yeah that’s puzzling. Someone lost the thread.

      • straffinrun

        Weird. Creed is not grunge in my book.

    • Brochettaward

      Creed has been going strong since 1994. I’m a proud member of the Creed Army.

      • straffinrun

        Yaaaay.

      • Brochettaward

        Let me know when you are internationally recognized for your work for the better part of three decades, guy.

      • Tres Cool

        “Internationally”

        The Krauts are simply meshuga for The Hoff. I don’t think that endorsement carries much weight.

        So go fuck yourself.

      • Brochettaward

        You are such an angry guy. Your penis must be very small.

      • Tres Cool

        I’m the “White Mandingo”.

        Ask your Mom. And sisters. And Aunt. Hell, even Uncle Sid.

      • Brochettaward

        Given your ED, does it even matter?

      • Tres Cool

        My dick is harder than the last GED you failed.

      • Brochettaward

        It’s flattering in a weird way that talking to me makes you hard, but I don’t swing that way.

      • Tres Cool

        Ill turn you out, bitch. Put you on a corner, and when I come back in 2 hours ? My trap better be full.
        KnowhaImsayin’ ?

      • Brochettaward

        I think you’ll be a much happier person when you deal with your…latent feelings. I wish you well.

      • Tres Cool

        Don’t even act like you don’t give yourself a “self prostate exam”.

        You’re gayer and more retarded than two guys with Down’s in a 69.

        /drops mic

  31. Tres Cool

    Protip- when pesky telemarketers call you with that extended car warranty, cheaper electric service, etc. ask “what are you wearing right now?”

    As an added bonus, if they’re of the hindi persuasion, use the words “madarchod” or “benchod”. Typically, the indian person loses their shit and hilarity ensues.

    *YMMV. Based on my experiences only.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      The neverending car warranty calls make me want to lose my shit. They. JUst. WON’t! STOP!!

    • Tres Cool

      You’re getting the mess we have. When the a/c kicked on around 3 am, I knew it was still hot outside.

      • Sean

        We had some house shaking t-storms last night.*

        *No clocks were harmed this time.

    • Trigger Hippie

      Yep. It ONLY got to 108 degrees heat index here yesterday. Spent nearly ten hours out in it…passed out before 8PM from exhaustion. Same thing today…yippee!

    • Ghostpatzer

      Yuck, indeed. Thank $deity I chose this week to be at the beach, where it’s about 10-15 degrees cooler. Can’t wait to get back home tomorrow ☹️

    • Ghostpatzer

      Careful you don’t trip over the pile of dead bodies. The beach here in Ocean City is littered with them.

  32. Tres Cool

    I’ve been up all night, and I’m crunk af. I just cleaned out my truck, yet I have 2 songs in my head that conflict my more base instincts.

    /opens another beer and searches for White Castle delivery

    Puts dip in, spits in beer can.

    Thinks about getting more beer later @ my ghetto Kroger.

    • l0b0t

      LOL! The last time I had a tobacco was in the late ’90s, at a party in Tallahassee. I was drunk enough to accept an offer of Copenhagen; just a pinch betwixt your cheek and gum. I got really dizzy and vomited for hours.

  33. Tres Cool

    FML….I gotta wait 2 hours till White Castle opens.

    • Gender Traitor

      Can you get ’em frozen at Kroger or Meijer?

      • The Hyperbole

        He could probably find some in the dumpster behind the store.

      • l0b0t

        I had some friends in college who would dumpster dive at the Burger King a block away from their house. I get it, and I don’t judge, but no thank you.

      • The Hyperbole

        I’d imagine that dumpster White Castle sliders are not noticeably worse than ones from the drive thru.

      • Tres Cool

        Ill let you know when I order in about 2 minutes.

  34. Festus

    So TOR isn’t a Golden Ticket to plan my next insurrection or view and share orphan porn? I am disappoint! ‘Mornin’ Y’all!

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Fes! And good morning to MOST of the rest of you! ?

  35. UnCivilServant

    Morning Glibs.

    It was an absolutely miserable, hot and humid night. I’m dizzy and trying to rehydrate.

    🙁

    • UnCivilServant

      Well, the dizziness is going away, but I’m still short on sleep.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, U! I wonder how well Gatorade and Diet Dew mix… ?

    • Brochettaward

      It sounds like you’re making an excuse for when I First all over you in the AM links.

      • UnCivilServant

        Go play your pigeon chess elsewhere, it got boring long ago.

      • Tres Cool

        I dont know why you troll so hard. You suck at it.

    • Sean

      My house is so chilled, it’s like biting into a Peppermint Pattie.

      😛

      • UnCivilServant

        Why are you biting your house?

      • Festus

        Marcy wipes her mouth.

      • Festus

        Then tongue kisses Patty. We’ve all of us seen this documentary before.

      • Tres Cool

        My crib is so chill, DefJam bought it.

  36. Sean

    No.

  37. waffles

    That list? Already on it. Besides, for me the glibs list is a step down.

    • Festus

      They have much better shoes now. Try that in cleats and you’d be done like dinner. I agree that it was an awesome slide.

  38. Festus

    The Hyperbole threatening to leave reminds of when Sylvester and Tweety were at odds that time Tweety drank the Jeckyl juice. Monstrous Tweety approaches and Sylvester yells “I’ll Jump!” He does and then monster Tweety transforms back to a tiny bird. “Fly faster! Fly harder!”