Saturday Evening Small Town Links

by | Aug 14, 2021 | Daily Links | 415 comments

Hey, kids! Greetings from a small, small place.

This is the kind of village where everyone knows everyone, or at least knows someone in the family.

It’s been both good and weird being back here. I keep seeing people thinking I should know them. “Hmmm. He looks a lot like…oh! That was his Dad! Man, did *he* get old.” Thankfully, I have not changed one bit in the 21 years since I last lived in the area.

Well, you didn’t come here too listen to me ramble on. You came here for links, and links you shall have.

 

We all know that Biden has no idea what’s going on, right? But he sure weighs in on a lot of things for a demented old man. Like this.

Sad to hear that Nanci Griffith has died.

I don’t know why anyone is surprised by this. It’s for the children, of course.

Things progressing in Afghanistan as we all expected.

Damnit. Haiti never gets a break.

 

We’re going to miss you, Nanci.

 

Have a great night, Glib Friends!

 

About The Author

SP

SP

I've got an idea! How about we just stick to the Constitution as written and then the government can leave me the fuck alone.

415 Comments

  1. ignoreLander

    Did I first? Did I first?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      No, you needed to comment on a link,

      • ignoreLander

        Didn’t know the rules! I’ll make sure to first properly next time!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Sometimes if you are following the days news you can spot the link and make first, Done that,
        /Can I Get An Honorary First Here!!!!

    • Count Potato

      Technically, no, you have to refer to post. Although, we’ve been getting a bunch of defensive “firsts” lately, to keep someone from also not being “first”.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        HEHE, No Bro!

      • The least-interesting BEAM in the world™

        Defensive firsts are like strategic voting — sometimes you just gotta hold your nose and do it.

      • Nephilium

        Or as was said in the old /. days:

        FROSTY PIST!

      • pistoffnick

        I ain’t frosty, I’m boiling mad.

      • blackjack

        Wouldn’t be the first time.

    • Lord Humungus

      STEVE SMITH GIVE YOU FIRST AND LAST VISIT

    • Not Adahn

      Under the ancient rules, you have to refer to the post AND include some sort of formatting.

    • Brochettaward

      If you have to ask, the answer is always no. A real Firster’s victory is so resounding that there is no question who the seconders are.

      • Stillhunter

        Many nights…many nights my friend, I put a blade to your throat while you were sleeping. I’m glad I never killed you Brochetta. You’re alright.

  2. Count Potato

    “Thankfully, I have not changed one bit in the 21 years since I last lived in the area.”

    So like Lisa Simpson?

    • hayeksplosives

      I was confused too! I thought SP was no more than nine years old! Maybe returning to her hometown aged her 20+ years in some sort of time/space paradox…

  3. Yusef drives a Kia

    I live in a small town as well, and discovered more people know who I am than I even know, I’m a presence but Damn! how do they all know me?
    /all good though

  4. Count Potato

    “I don’t know why anyone is surprised by this. It’s for the children, of course.”

    It’s either that or terrorism. I haven’t heard the latter much lately. Probably because of the virus. It’s kind of hard to say, “we must be covid or the terrorists win.”

  5. blackjack

    Here’s what I propose. Since the vaccines are strictly to shore up Biden’s sagging poll numbers, lets just allow people to “Vaccine Harvest” Any person regardless of political affiliation (as long as they’re democrats) can collect up as many phony vax records as they want. They can stop once they feel enough people are “vaxxed” to make creepy Joe look good. It’s all about the numbers, just like an election. Let’s run it like one.

  6. ignoreLander

    We all know that Biden has no idea what’s going on, right? But he sure weighs in on a lot of things for a demented old man.

    But then again, isn’t that what demented old men are known for? Speaking up in front of people saying things that embarrass everyone? But instead of your uncle ranting about “the coloreds”, it’s the nominal POTUS ranting about tyranny.

    And just like I’m embarrassed at the Thanksgiving table, I’m embarrassed in front of the world.

    • Lord Humungus

      It’s like listening to a story by my dad.

      My god, old people lead boring lives. I know mine isn’t the most exciting with the weed smoking, estate and thrift hunting, purchasing and cleaning vinyl to put up for sale, working around the house, and etc etc. But my god, I can’t make a 30 minute story about the tree cutting guy’s work.

      • Ted S.

        As long as you keep getting different stories.

      • ignoreLander

        estate and thrift hunting

        Don’t sell that shit short man — some of the happiest times I’ve had have been sorting through junk to find treasures for pennies on the dollar, which to this day are among my most prized possessions….

      • Lord Humungus

        I love it actually – some of the scuzziest thrift stores have gotten my best finds; same with the more middle class estate sales versus the rich peeps; the latter who overprice everything to the point where even the 1/2 off days aren’t worth going to.

      • RBS

        Sort of related, but a couple of weeks ago a guy won an auctioned off storage unit here in Myrtle Beach and found several IED’s.

      • Count Potato

        WTF??

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I ❤️ estate sales to a fault. Have also blackballed a local snooty firm. Many other options.

      • Jerms

        My wife and her sister own an estate sale company in eastern long island. I weasle my way into every sale before anyone else.

      • blackjack

        They are brutally competitive here. Get there early and there’s a huge line already. The brokers only allow a limited amount of people in at a time. People just buying shit like crazy hoping to make ten bucks on it later on Ebay. I went to a few and gave up. I’d rather give them the extra ten bucks and buy it on Ebay.

      • Jerms

        Yeah same as the ones out here. Lines 1/4 mile long in the rain on a Friday morning.

  7. Count Potato

    “Damnit. Haiti never gets a break.”

    That is truly sad. Set out some Barbancourt and Cuban cigars for Papa Legba.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Even with a functional economy, it would be hard to account for Earthquakes and Volcanic eruptions, I know Cali does it, but the scale is different.

      • ignoreLander

        Yusef, you new avatar is…. well, eye-catching.

      • Hyperion

        It was a one eyed one horned shitlord purple people eater…

    • hayeksplosives

      They still were surrounded by rubble from the last one.

      And now donations will be collected and NGOs will swoop in, and the Haitians won’t be allowed to do anything without permission and “guidance.”

      A lot of money will end up in pockets along the way, but none of it where it is most needed.

      • Fourscore

        Where some see tragedy, others find business opportunities. Clinton Foundation is on this, right? right?

  8. Yusef drives a Kia

    Just because, my #3 is 18 year old Ethan, hard working, much respect, he got me a new sticker for my Van,
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/jL3x755GcyRe9xqdA
    Oh and He is 6’8″ 300 Lb.s of Muscle, they grow em Big up here,

  9. TARDis

    Greetings from a small, small place

    Where did you go? Wha’happ’n? I can’t handle change. Did you get traded in for two 8 year olds?

    • Mojeaux

      They moved from AZ to NY to own and run a coffee shop in a college town.

      • hayeksplosives

        They heard I’m moving to AZ and had to get the hell out.

      • Mojeaux

        WAIT, WHAT??!?!?!?

        You got the Tucson job?!

      • hayeksplosives

        I have a job offer in Scottsdale and one in Tucson.

        Trying to decide.

      • Mojeaux

        Woo hoo!!!

      • Hyperion

        Splosives, uuuhwhatrrrruustilldoinincali?

      • hayeksplosives

        I accepted the Tucson job because it was about to expire, but it’s still contingent on background check, drug screen, etc

        I told the Scottsdale guys on Friday that I’m going with Tucson, and they pulled out all the stops on “Anything we can do to change your mind?” I said I would like to know more about exactly what the work is and what the 5 year, 10 year from now work is.

        My would-be boss called after work hours and talked my ear off for 30 minutes trying to change my mind.

        I’m going to have to make a firm decision by Monday (my own deadline).

        The Nevada guys are moving at the speed of government…

      • Tundra

        Hmm. Which provides the appropriate retinue and fawning?

      • hayeksplosives

        I don’t know til I’m there…

        Probably the Nevada job.

      • Hyperion

        Congats on being able to afford to live there. Well, I guess compared to Cali…

        Catalina Foothills?

      • hayeksplosives

        Maybe Vail AZ if I go with the Tucson job.

        I like Mountain Views.

      • DEG

        Congratulations on the new job!

      • hayeksplosives

        Thanks!

        Now I just have figure out what job I’m being congratulated for.

        Nice to have options.

      • MikeS

        That’s great! Good for you.

      • hayeksplosives

        Thanks!

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta!

      • hayeksplosives

        Sure does!

      • blackjack

        Grats, Hayek. Tuscon is pretty cool, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.

      • rhywun

        run a coffee shop

        WAIT, WHAT??!?!?!?

      • Old Man With Candy

        Combo coffeeshop and cafe. I’m doing the kitchen, SP handles finances, WebDom is managing everything. It’s been delightful so far.

      • TARDis

        Congrats. Is there a gift store with monocles?

      • rhywun

        That sounds great. I think I know which town it is so I’ll check it out some day 😉

        I thought you were mixing chemicals or something for a living.

      • DEG

        Excellent.

      • Jerms

        I thought those (((people))) were all diamond dealers. Never tried (((their))) coffee.

      • Ted S.

        It’s kosher coffee, which means it has bacon bits in it.

  10. Count Potato

    “McCarthy says Afghan withdrawal is an ’embarrassment’ but Biden blames Trump’s deal with the Taliban and says he ‘can’t make Kabul fight’: INCREASES troop deployment for evacuation to 5,000

    But Biden hit back in a statement from Camp David on Saturday afternoon, insisting that he could not force the Afghan army to fight.

    He said: ‘One more year, or five more years, of US military presence would not have made a difference if the Afghan military cannot or will not hold its own country. And an endless American presence in the middle of another country’s civil conflict was not acceptable to me.’

    He also hit out at predecessor Trump for the deal with the Taliban that led to the recent withdrawal.

    He said: ‘When I came to office, I inherited a deal cut by my predecessor—which he invited the Taliban to discuss at Camp David on the eve of 9/11 of 2019—that left the Taliban in the strongest position militarily since 2001.

    ‘Shortly before he left office, he also drew US forces down to a bare minimum of 2,500.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9893399/Mitch-McConnel-calls-airstrikes-against-Taliban-warlords.html

    Leaving by doubling the number of troops?

    • RBS

      which he invited the Taliban to discuss at Camp David on the eve of 9/11 of 2019

      Oh, FFS

    • ignoreLander

      ‘Shortly before he left office, he also drew US forces down to a bare minimum of 2,500.”

      Akshully, bare minimum is zero, fuckstick.

    • rhywun

      He said: ‘One more year, or five more years, of US military presence would not have made a difference if the Afghan military cannot or will not hold its own country. And an endless American presence in the middle of another country’s civil conflict was not acceptable to me.’

      Is this like that one moment of clarity a day the senile get?

      • Count Potato

        He couldn’t have said that the eight years he was Vice President?

      • Sean

        That was different then. Duh.

    • Drake

      We should have been out of the 18 years ago. But Holy shit – this is the most incompetent, bungled cluster fuck imaginable.

    • Loveconstitution1789

      Dont let commie democrats get away with blaming trump for anything relating to afghan withdrawal.

      Trump tried to pull troops out years ago and congress voted to make it illegal to pull troops out and use any funds to pull troops out.

      Commies in America are traitors and should be treated as such. I support eminent domain of their property to pay their share of the national debt then deportation to communist china but bloodletting is more likely.

  11. Count Potato

    “The Indonesian army has announced it will no longer carry out vaginal exams on female recruits to ‘test their virginity’.

    The archaic ‘two-finger test’ – which is still used in India, Egypt and Afghanistan – saw inspectors assess whether or not the hymens of recruits were broken.

    If they were deemed to have had sex, they would not be allowed to join the military as their past alleged sexual behaviour could ‘damage the army’s image’. ”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9893645/Indonesian-army-scraps-virginity-tests-female-recruits-backlash-intrusive-exams.html

    What a shithole culture.

    • Ted S.

      If you think the hymen is in the shithole, you’re doing it wrong.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        “Women are for Children, Boys are for pleasure”
        /Some Afghan saying…..

      • Count Potato

        You were so close.

      • blackjack

        Taint that the truth.

    • Lord Humungus

      >> assess

      I read that a little differently

    • Lord Humungus

      >>India, Egypt and Afghanistan

      No offense to our brown brothers, but these are “culturally rich and diverse” shitholes that I wouldn’t miss to much if they disappeared off the map.

      Well keep the pyramids and ancient Egyptian stuff.

      • ignoreLander

        “culturally rich and diverse” shitholes that I wouldn’t miss to much if they disappeared off the map

        I have to be honest, I’d miss the hell out of Indian cuisine. And I have some really good friends of that persuasion who are, let’s admit it, highly Westernized.

        Aside from those couple of things, yeah, I’m kinda with you on this one.

      • Not Adahn

        You threaten my saag paneer and we’re going to have words.

    • westernsloper

      *deletes one in the stink comment

      Ya, that is fucked up.

      • Stillhunter

        My 14 year old son said something about two in the stink yesterday. I told him he better not be saying that in mixed company. He’s says- Why? I told him to trust me and I’d fill him in, in a few years. I think he really had no idea what it meant.

    • ignoreLander

      So…. Lemme get this straight. They think virgins are their best bet for military conflict?

      Uh, OK. Give me a ‘rode-harded-and-discarded’ harlot with a gun and a grudge against the world any day, over Snow White and the lily-white virginal virtue.

      • pistoffnick

        *remembers playing paintball with/against a recently divorced, scorned woman….*

    • RBS

      past alleged sexual behaviour could ‘damage the army’s image

      Not their actual performance is past wars…looking at you Egypt…

  12. westernsloper

    Things progressing in Afghanistan as we all expected.

    At least we can now escalate as we withdraw. There should not be one person left there at this point who helped the troops in that idiotic two decade long shit show. More proof the military is inept and ran by assholes.

    Thanks for the links and music link SP. RIP indeed.

    • creech

      NBC just showed pictures of Afghan kids and families with the voice over that “Many feel betrayed and abandoned.” Yeah, by their Afghan menfolk who apparently don’t have the guts to stand up to less numerous and less well-armed Taliban crazies.

      • RBS

        Eh, the tribal leaders are going to do what the tribal leaders do.

      • Stillhunter

        Elites are the same everywhere.

      • Loveconstitution1789

        All any german general on the eastern front had to do was pull out their service pistol and blast Hitler when he visited frontline armies.

        They never did.

        Honestly, Hitler being in charge of the german army in 1942 was better for the allies than a competent commander.

        Same with el presidente Biden and the democrats being “in charge”. They are so incompetent that they are setting communism back decades being tyrants rather than simply talking about tyrannical agendas.

  13. Ted S.

    This is the kind of village where everyone knows everyone, or at least knows someone in the family.

    Yeah, in the jurisdiction where I live, I don’t need to show ID to vote because all of the poll workers know everybody.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Dude, I walk into a store and Total strangers ask how I am doing, how’s the Back, etc. I reply in a nice manner and ask who wants to know?
      Then they tell me they are X’ cousin of my Brother in Law who plays with you, OK. But am I that popular in this little Town? if so, they need to get out more.
      /No kidding

      • UnCivilServant

        That sort of behaviour would make into even more of a recluse than I am now.

  14. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    SP!

    • Lord Humungus

      Get a room, you weirdo.

  15. Nephilium

    It’s Saturday, and I’m home, so here’s the link for the Zoom/Happy Hour/General bullshitting which will be kicked off at 20:00 Eastern.

    • Lord Humungus

      because Orange Man Bad

    • Loveconstitution1789

      There is some percentage likelihood that commie china set loose a biological weapon around the World. It might have been a multi part virus or simple military Incompetence.

      Trump challenging Chinese economic power was not going to go unanswered.

      If this is true, america can either turn china to glass now or deal with china later.

  16. creech

    Homple asked earlier today about blind wine tastings. They can be a lot of fun and tend to reveal that what wine an individual likes is subjective and not related to its cost. I conducted one for a colleague’s 50th birthday and, when the crowd rated the three red and three white choices, the actual “Two Buck Chuck” was favored by nearly a third of the tasters, and the medium price and high priced wines got about the same number of “I liked this one best” comments.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Isn’t 2BC a random harvest, whatever Franzia has in surplus?

    • Suthenboy

      I mix mine up in five gallon buckets I buy from Lowes…in a bathtub…from muscadines. Everyone that has had some says it is the best wine they have ever had.

    • Lord Humungus

      Makes sense. I’ll admit that some of the cheaper wines – Sutter Home – aren’t very good, but I do drink a very high share of $3 wine from Trader Joe’s. As long as I don’t get a big sulfuric aftertaste, I’m usually happy with most reds and whites. I do detest overly sweet wines though.

      It’s been my general rule of thumb with wine that after $10 or so I have a hard time telling what is expensive or not.

      • ignoreLander

        $3 wine from Trader Joe’s

        Fun fact: the 3 dollar bottles used to be 2 dollars (the original nickname: Two Buck Chuck). And, for years in those blind taste tests, the haughty wine tasters would consistently rate it among the top bottles. Nowadays, they pull the same trick on the tasters, but use wine in a box, which they also consistently rate as an excellent wine.

        In case you needed any further proof that wine is overpriced 98% of the time.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Back to $2, and on the sweetish side. Oh well.

        Sanity seems mostly to have resumed at local TJ.

    • Nephilium

      I’m more of a fan of the triangle test for real tasting, but blind tastings have their place.

      For those unaware, a triangle test involves three samples, two of which are the same. The first question on the survey is which one is the outlier. If you get that one wrong, the rest of the survey can be tossed. Or if the people can’t pick out the unique sample, you have successfully cloned the recipe.

    • PutridMeat

      We used to do non-blind wine tastings in that you could see all the scores as people recorded them if not identify who the person scoring was. Basically a table with a wine on each row, and the columns being unlabeled scores.

      Me, being the asshole I am, did an experiment. I made sure to get there early, scored a random wine high and a random wine low (without actually tasting I might add). I did this for two of the tastings. In each case, the one I started off high won the evening and one I started off low was very near the bottom of scoring.

      OK, two samples is not statistically significant, but I think it’s a working hypothesis to explain the rise and spread of wokeism.

    • Homple

      Thanks. I always wanted my wine-fan friends to try this (I admit to pig ignorance about wine myself).

  17. Animal

    Aww, Nancy Griffith. I just love her song Love at the Five and Dime. Reminds me of working at the Woolco in 1978-79, and trying to romance one of the gals that worked in the Garden Center.

    • Not Adahn

      I don’t remember five and dimes drawing the kind of scorn that dollar stores do today.

      • Q Continuum

        The country didn’t hate poor people as much back then.

  18. rhywun

    Huh, look at all the countries that play American football ?

    • Suthenboy

      I was never a sports watcher but I loved to play baseball and football. I had a good arm back in the day.

    • Mojeaux

      I read through that list. Delightful! Ravensberg Razorbacks. Do they have razorbacks in Germany?

      • Suthenboy

        Yes. Europe has as much of a problem with wild hogs as we do.

      • Mojeaux

        I had no idea. Did you see that list of team names? It was awesome.

      • Suthenboy

        I did. I always liked football better than baseball because there is more on-the-fly strategy involved. Still, I would never pass up a sandlot baseball game.

      • rhywun

        *googles WTF is that actually*

        I have no idea.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      What should they play? Euro Flop-ball?

      /jk (sort of)

    • Rat on a train

      Braunschweig is laying down a gauntlet calling their team the New Yorker Lions.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      I believe that a major reason the UK is not a morrass of internecine warfare is, despite the centuries old blood feuds. it is socally acceptable to give each other a hard time about thier ethnic heritage.

  19. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    All I need to finish my work for the night is for someone from the agency to send me 3 images. I’m expected to stand up a new web page in 5 minutes, but they can take their sweet time getting me the actual content. Just send the god-forsaken images – we can switch them out later if we need to.

    And I really need a shower and a cocktail.

    • rhywun

      Aw crap, you just reminded me I have to do some work at the top of the hour.

  20. DEG

    President Joe Biden praised superintendents of school districts in Arizona and Florida for imposing indoor mask mandates for students, teachers and staff as the Delta coronavirus variant races across the states.

    They can all go fuck themselves.

    Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis this week threatened to hit school leaders with hundreds of thousands of dollars in fines for breaking his schools anti-masking rules, though later backed down.

    DeSantis should never have backed down.

    • Sean

      Two for two there.

    • Animal

      Yeah, but it’s inert.

      I want one that’s ert.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I like Ert, good luck!

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        A nice trip to Benghazi is only a day away. Good luck getting it back though.

      • DEG

        I’m certain an enterprising individual could fix that.

        Hi Mr. FBI Plant!

  21. CPRM

    For starters, the flagging feature could lead to discriminatory effects due to algorithmic bias in how the feature chooses which images to flag. For example, Instagram recently faced backlash when it introduced explicit content filters, which some argue lead to discriminatory blocking or downranking of posts by certain creators of marginalized races, genders and backgrounds.

    Que?

    • blackjack

      Some people get to use the N-word and it’s cute. Just a part of their culture. Amazing how hateful and verboten it is for one race and totes legit for the other.

      • Q Continuum

        Shaddup you Wop (maybe?)!

        Signed,

        Some Kike.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Fuck off Ya Mick!

      • blackjack

        I’m quarter wop and quarter mick. I’m going to need to see both of your credentials before I can allow this kind of talk.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Here, Shit in one hand, and my Finger in the other,

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        As you know it’s all just fun,
        /Austrian/ Belgian
        You know who else was Austrian…..

      • Not Adahn

        Why are you holding a handful of shit?

      • blackjack

        He wants to show you what he almost stepped in?

      • blackjack

        I’m just kidding, btw. I don’t care at all about wop and mick.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        BJ wins, it was Dog shit, flung at you!
        /Duck!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        bj, of course it’s fun, just playing stereotypes Bro!

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        What’s the appropriate slur for someone that is a quarter Slovenian?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Romanian?

      • Nephilium

        Slovak.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Bah! Damned Bahamians.

        I do think there is a significant Eye-tie admixture in my family

      • blackjack

        I don’t know. Let me czech.

      • Rat on a train

        Conduct a Pole.

      • MikeS

        Please be sure your comments are German to the conversation.

      • ignoreLander

        Alright you proles. Keep this up and I’ll (eastern) Bloc you. But I’m laving right now because I’m a little Hungary. I’m going to drive my Yugo(slavia) to my favorite restaurant to have a nice salad of Romain(ia) lettuce and then ask for the Czech.

        I trust you’ll have cleaned up you acts by the time I’ve returned.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I do this,
        /Ignore
        Way better than caring aboot race,

    • rhywun

      I read that as “marginalized races, genders and backgrounds are going to save us from this Orwellian shit”.

      Kind of like happened with facial-recognition technology and will almost certainly happen with experimental medicine mandates.

    • Q Continuum

      Uncle Tom, false consciousness, oreo, etc. etc. etc.

      Racists gonna be racist, they can’t help it.

    • Count Potato

      They’ll say it’s internalized white supremacy or some duckspeak synonymous with “Uncle Tom”.

      At least it’s in Miami, so I doubt antifa will show up.

  22. Yusef drives a Kia

    on the course today, “Sir your cigarette smoke is irritating me” “yeah, and your blocking my view, you Obese Fuck”
    Not me, but hilariously un PC,

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Al Czervik would be proud.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        We are a tolerant group, but at a point we stand up for ourselves, We are clean and classy, We keep the park clean FFS!
        We have some weighty Gals in our group, and they are welcome, and they are pretty good as one would hope, but We don’t judge, unless you are a Dick/Cunte

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Unwelcomed? or just lacking someone?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Is there really any such thing as an unwelcome erection?

      • blackjack

        I would guess that if the girl you’re dating gets one, then that would be unwelcome.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        If her female penis gets hard then who am I to judge?

      • rhywun

        “EXCUSE ME, IT’S GIRL DICK!”

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        only if you gotta pee in the middle of the night,

      • Ted S.

        Did you ever get one in high school while you were standing in front of the class giving a presentation?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Never did that, got a hard on onstage though, chicks dug it,

      • TARDis

        I saw something like that a festival at the Atlanta Motor Speedway a couple decades ago. I’m pretty sure it was Live on stage. IIRC a stacked girl sans shirt and bra hopped up on stage and did a nice dance in front of the singer dude. The camera zoomed in on his chubby. Lots of cheers. I thought it was just for the girl until my wife pointed it out.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      “Don’t get cocky kid”

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Oops!

    • MikeS

      His helmet and life jacket have been found, but his body has not. His brother was the only witness. Obviously they faked his death.

      • blackjack

        No more alimony! Whoo-Hoo!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I have seen a lot of lifejackets go down the Colorado when someone rolls a kayak, with no PFD on, fools….

      • Hyperion

        Ever get have Wyatt Earp try to pull you over for not having one in your boat?

  23. Stillhunter

    We had a Nanci Griffith song in our wedding. For the life of me I can’t remember which one. It was 17 years ago but still… Don’t tell my wife

  24. ignoreLander

    While looking for that link to make my oh so funny Segway joke, I came across this article on the same (sh*t) website:

    http://archive.today/ce0e0

    No matter who you are or where you live, this should get your blood boiling like magma. And even worse if you’re one of the targets: looking at you, Suthenboy.

    • blackjack

      How did you go from a billionaire dying on his toy to this mask shit?

      • hayeksplosives

        Cuz hippie billionaires are smart smart smart, while southerners are dumb, dumb, dumb and didn’t even vote for Biden, the rubes.

        So completely consistent reporting style.

      • blackjack

        I was trying to help with his Segway joke. Can’t win them all.

      • Hyperion

        Blackjack, uhhhhwhatrrruuudoinere?

      • ignoreLander

        I was trying to help with his Segway joke. Can’t win them all.

        I high five you, blackjack. While I hope the Segway joke was funny, the “southern hospitality” thing just brought me right back to Earth…. I mean, DAMMIT! I mean, why can’t we all just live on the same planet and get along just fine, anymore?….

    • Loveconstitution1789

      Y’all might not know this but the South is full of Democrats and have been for decades. They just could not win in most areas after the 1990s so they said they were Republicans or the new gimmick is to run partyless local elections.

      Also based on very preliminary research, more democrats are dying per day than republicans in the south.

      We already know that current american voter demographics are not trending toward democrats, so they want illegals to hopefully vote democrat.

      What democrats didnt count on was more and more Americans of every background would oppose democrats each day.

  25. Tundra

    SP!

    I’m glad your move is done. I’ve never lived in a small town, but neighborhoods often end up being one.

    No cause of death or further information was provided, reportedly at Griffith’s behest: “It is Nanci’s wish that no statement or press release happen for a week following her passing.”

    That’s pretty cool. Make ’em wait for it!

    Fuck Apple.

    Poor Afghans.

    Poor Haitians.

    You know, suffering seems to be a big part of the human experience.

    I hope the new (old) place makes you really happy.

    Be good, Glibs!

  26. Yusef drives a Kia

    OMWC and SP, I hope things are working out in youir new digs, and wish you the best. Just in time to adjust to the Seasons IME, next month is one year up here for the Yusef! enjoy!

  27. Hyperion

    Every time I think of nice little towns, I think of the quote ‘God save me from nice little towns’. I’ve since changed my mind, again.

    • rhywun

      Yeah, I’m a city boy myself but I can see the appeal as I age.

      • Hyperion

        Dude, the first time I went to a grocery in more than 20 years, knowing I would not see anyone I know, it was pure bliss. Not see anyone I know and hear them say ‘Hey, I saw you pickup truck go through the Taco Bell this morning. Ughh….

        See you in Podunk, bro. But don’t wait too long while 800sq ft cabins can still be had for under a million. My wife is a big city girl, transformed from a farm girl, and now OK with black bear, cougars, and rattle snakes as our closest neighbors.

      • Nah, just Yusef

        This, me, now, rather unnerving to know strangers follow my habits,

    • Nah, just Drunk

      after SoCal, I’m glad to be here, even Ludington to Walmart, Home depot is stressful for me, and with Prime and my local shops, I’m set pretty well,

      • Nah, just Yusef

        If you head north from here it gets real small, very boutique, and many towns shut down after Labor day, but those that stay open thrive, like StormCloud Brewery in Frankfort, they made it through the mess and God bless their Belgian ales!

  28. Drake

    Remember “Brewster’s Millions” we’re Richard Prior had to waste $30 million in 30 days?

    Chump change compared to Afghanistan – we wasted 20 years of nation-building

    2,312 US soldiers killed, 20k + wounded

    $2.4 trillion spent — $114,285 for every person in the country, at the time we arrived

    And the place collapse like a house of cards as soon as we started to leave.

    • Nah, just Yusef

      I am a War monger, and was then, but I knew from History it was going to be a clusterfuck, but I nevere imagined 20 Years, good riddance!

      • Nah, just Yusef

        To clarify, we had no business there in the first place, problems? We have Bombers and drones, feet on the ground? NO, and Fuck no,

      • Drake

        I thought we were doing a punitive raid – like the British expedition to Abyssinia. That was an appropriate response.

        But noooo…. we’re too fucking stupid to do that.

      • Loveconstitution1789

        Killing osama bin laden was not the worst use of military might. The major problem is america makes enemies based on neocon military ventures. There is no moral high ground on that.

        We allied with bin laden against the russians and made him the jihad figure he was.

        Consequences.

        Mark my words that 20 years in Iraq and Afghanistan has negative consequences for America that last 1-2 generations. Every war does and this was the longest war in US history.

        one of the reasons that the founders set the tiny military(militias) under civilian control was to try to mitigate a 100 year war scenario. The military industrial complex would be answerable to the voters. In theory.

    • Zwak, jack off, all trades

      Ya know, I was born in 1971 and only had dim memories of a lot of the seventies.

      Until six months ago.

      • Nah, just Yusef

        the 70’s were a good time to be a kid, Just Say’n,

      • Ted S.

        I was born in 1972. When I had coloring books as a kid, I tried to color the people as wearing plaid pants.

      • ignoreLander

        When I had coloring books as a kid, I tried to color the people as wearing plaid pants

        Bullshit. Kids don’t see color. It’s only when they grow older and nasty Republicans teach them that they even realize red and blue and yellow and brown and black even exist.

    • rhywun

      I’ll be honest… I DGAF so much about what is going on in Afghanistan so much as the myriad ways Biden is fucking us over right here.

      Both sides seem to be really interested in that place but I am not. At all.

    • Drake

      That Biden press conference – wow.

    • blackjack

      Fuck Afganistan. I’m glad we’re out. I’m sure that Biden screwed up the exit plan and probably just to try and make Trump look bad. Either that or the generals fucked it all up as if to say, “look, just like we said, we should have stayed!” Either way, I hope staying out sticks, because we should have left there after two months. Kick their asses and then watch for them to fuck up again and go back for seconds. They can have a shithole if they want one, just don’t fuck with us.

      • Nah, just Yusef

        See below, Cordon Sanitaire, it’s a lot mor bloody than it sounds, but so what? let’s GTFO!

      • MikeS

        I’ve seen many lefties blaming Bush. Ignoring the fact that 518 members of congress voted for the AUMF in 2001. And that Obama had 8 years to end it and didn’t.

      • hayeksplosives

        And yet Cindy Sheehan disappeared as soon as His Chocolateness took office.

        Funny, that…

      • Ayn Random Variation

        I’ll never forget how they exploited and then dumped that poor crazy woman as long as she outlived her usefulness.

      • Ayn Random Variation

        as soon as

      • MikeS

        Question for the nerds technologically gifted: I need to get internet into my shop. Digging it in is basically not an option. I can get a decent signal from the house’s Wi-Fi when the overhead door is open; nothing when it is closed. What is the easiest/cheapest way to receive the signal on the outside and broadcast it into the inside?

      • MikeS

        Dammit. Re-posting below.

  29. Nah, just Yusef

    At least the British died til the last Man, We just ran away, disorganized and cowardly, leaving behind our friends while making sure the Elite escaped, our Government Sucks!
    I know it’s BK, but clocks, nuts, etc.
    https://twitter.com/BillKristol/status/1426704814277287939

    • rhywun

      That fucking neo-con? Fuck that asshole. “Choosing to lose”. Fuck you, Bill.

      • Nah, just Yusef

        See below, We left Weak, no need to, but we did,

      • rhywun

        I don’t believe for a second that we are actually “leaving” but a question for me remains: why are we there?

        Anyway, a bad break-up is going to be messy. Either we get it over with, or it never happens.

      • Drake

        Give him a rifle and drop him off in Kabul – along with every other neo-coward running his mouth.

      • creech

        Yeah, see what he does when he’s “the last man.”

  30. Nah, just Yusef

    We could have set up a Cordon sanitaire, with air support, and walked every one of us out proud, but no, our Military and Gov. are Chickenshit, GRRRRR!!!

  31. Ozymandias

    RE: Afghanistan

    At one stretch of my life, I spent 16 out of 21 months in that place and spoke a very passable Pashto. My interpreters were fantastic.
    I met a number of Afghans who were good men and cared about the security of their country while I was there. The problem is that their numbers simply aren’t/weren’t large enough to save that place.
    I hope enough got out because what comes next will not be pretty. The Taliban are inbred retards bent on destroying anything that looks like civilization. They really are. Under Zahir Shah in the 70s, Afghanistan had women attending Kabul University and wearing jeans.
    The fundamentalist islamic revolution/revival of the 70s destroyed a bunch of secular civilized Muslim countries (Libya, Afghanistan, etc.) and they’ve never recovered. They really have set those countries back close to a thousand years in just 30-40 years of their hijacking of that religion.
    Nice job, Wahabbists.

    • Ozymandias

      I wondered as a kid why the Vietnam era guys were so bummed and bitter about their war. I think I got it now.

      • Tundra

        Sorry, Ozy.

        My Uncle was a Marine in VN. It was a long, long time before he would even talk about it.

        This is fucked up. Again.

      • Fourscore

        60 K of my generation gone, some good friends. Still bitter

      • kinnath

        My uncle came back a defeated man. No other way to describe it.

      • pistoffnick

        My uncle lost a leg in Viet Nam. It was a long time before he would even show me.

    • Loveconstitution1789

      Its sad for many americans to see that some people in the world are stone age loving pieces of shit who want to enslave others.

      Its kind of why when veterans open their mouths about war, you might want to listen.

      Unfortunately, ignorance is bliss and those that dont learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

      See: civil war 2.0 in progress now.

  32. Gender Traitor

    No disrespect to Nanci Griffith, but hearing about her invariably reminds me of Patty Griffin, which invariably reminds me of my favorite song of hers.

    I’m such a sucker for sad songs.

    • Fourscore

      I have but 1 CD of Nanci G but I’ll hear it tomorrow. Her voice is such and my hearing so bad I’ll have to read the lyrics as she sings. So sad to see the younger (than me) players leave the stage.

  33. Fourscore

    Did we learn anything from Afghanistan? We obviously didn’t learn anything from VN. Where do we go for our next military adventure? We did kick ass in Grenada, oh yeah Panama too, only lost 23 military but captured Noriega, the drug dealer.

    • Chipping Pioneer

      Good ol’ Pineapple Face.

  34. mikey

    Some Glibs are having job issues with the vax manates, This posting makes no mention of vax requirements. Not sure about the long-term opportunities though.

    https://www.daybook.com/jobs/APjftrJrSCTJyTqBL
    Notice the posting date.

    • blackjack

      Must be vaccinated against lead poisoning.

    • Ayn Random Variation

      My job has just mandated that in order to go back into the office you had to submit vax proof to HR by yesterday. On top of that, masks will be required.
      Since I have no intention of going back as long as masks are required (I put this in an email), I did not send them vax proof even though I did get the shots.
      I’ve worked from “home” for a year and a half now and intend to drag this out until they levy a hard ultimatum and then reassess.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        I am at that point as well. To this point, there is no mandate. But I work for a small company and I am valuable there and I have a good chance of winning a game of vax chicken.

      • rhywun

        #metoo

        Current situation is still “mask optional at your desk” and no vax requirement. But I can read between the lines and if and when that changes, I will be playing the same game.

        BTW, I haven’t been to the office in two months because I have an “understanding” with my boss because he doesn’t go in either. The end of summer was supposed to bring a renewed push to get everyone back in the office but I suspect instead we’ll be getting lockdowns.

        Either way, I’m not going in if I have to wear a mask, and I’m not letting them make medical decisions for me.

      • Ayn Random Variation

        They keep pushing back the official office opening. It was going to be Sept 1, but it’s now Sept. 30. So I should have another 6 weeks or so to play the game.
        I don’t think I’m irreplaceable in the least, but since it’s a small company they’d be screwed in the short term if I was disappeared, and my boss loves me.
        I have a coworker who does the same thing I do (there are only 3 of us) and is refusing to get the vax, so this will be interesting to see if they are willing to lose both of us.

      • rhywun

        They gave us a “required anonymous” survey. I assume they are smart enough to assume that the people like me who refuse to answer are either not getting it or are otherwise not appreciative of the question, and may act accordingly. But who knows.

      • Ayn Random Variation

        Yeah I am a stubborn asshole, so even though I have the vax proof I’m really pissed they are demanding it, or even asking me about it.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Same with our company. Theres been a split between permanent and temporary work from home, but delayed again for both. My feeling is the company is beyond fatigued with covid and doing anything extra. The covid specific PTO expired and hasn’t been renewed. The mask mandate is back companywide with fewer exceptions. The vax disclosure is now required next month. Expect that the next step will be mandatory vax because they think all of that will be the shortest path to “ending” this.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Oh, and I expect the next step for permanent work from home will be locality pay adjustment. I can feel that cost cutting is just around the corner in the face of increasing supplier costs.

      • rhywun

        If my company pulls that, I will leave. Simple as that. I think I can easily find remote work, and very likely with better pay, too.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Our HR ? says that reporting vax status will forestall a company requirement. ?

      • dbleagle

        Google is already starting locality adjustment to pay. the NY Post had an article about it a few days ago.

      • Loveconstitution1789

        There is a great chance that most americans were already exposed to SARS covid19 in 2020 before the vaccines were released.

        Anyone who honestly discusses the issue must admit that this true or vaccines are only providing a short term/intermittent antibody shield to covid. Otherwise, how could covid be still zipping around the USA?

        Its the persons who locked themselves up for 6-12 months and were not exposed to any strange germs who are passing the germs around.

        I mostly did my normal routine every week withot a mask but Im the carrier..every week. They are liars. How many weeks can I be the super spreader?

      • ignoreLander

        We had our monthly “all hands” call last week. Mostly it’s about birthdays and new work we have coming in. But 2 new things this month. First, some “online training modules” that “we ask that all team members complete”. Wanna guess what they’re about? “These address diversity and inclusion, something we feel very strongly about”. the 17 people I work with directly, who rank above me in the company, 14 of them are female. Of the 14 females, 9 of them are an

      • ignoreLander

        Sorry, accidentally hit “post”

        Of the 14 females, 9 of them are an ethnicity that isn’t Caucasian. Of the 3 males who outrank me. 1 is also not Caucasian. I’m really struggling to see the lack of inclusion that so much a problem we need to watch videos to be cured of it. At least they deigned to let us charge that crap to company time.

        Second thing is, the big boss man told everyone “we’re closely following state and CDC guidelines for masking requirements. Just to reassure everyone, we don’t have any sort of vaccine requirements at this time.”

        “AT THIS TIME” Yeah that’s reassuring boss. At any time, you’re going to make your pronouncement, and make me have to look for a new job. Thanks.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yeah, I hear the “at this time” also. Or “haven’t made a decision yet”. BS.

        I think my boss is going to pull the plug this fall. No idea where he falls on the actual shot, but he doesn’t seem to like requirements coming or some other unrelated stuff.

      • rhywun

        My team is a freaking United Nations of diversity, and there is no way I’m ever going to sit there and be lectured about my “privilege” without my brown boss and his brown boss getting an earful of my complaints.

      • Loveconstitution1789

        I have a massive fuck you card that I just never need to play. Family business and all.

        My family are daughters/sons of the american revolution. For those that dont know, that is proven blood lineage to those that served in revolutionary war.

        Not that the sacrifice of american warriors after that was not important but those 2-3% of americans that fought in the revolutionary war had to win like no other american veterans.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        We’re gearing up for an extended period of unemployment. The expectation is that my company will mandate the vaccine some time while I’m out on paternity leave and that I’ll be returning to immediate pressure to shoot up or be fired in November.

        I’m looking for other options, but my options are limited to companies of at least a certain size, so I’m pessimistic about finding an open IP position with a company that won’t force the vax issue.

        This is the line in the sand for us. We’re dying on this hill. We’re not getting the shot. Period. If that means selling 80% of our stuff for food money, downgrading to a small apartment, and working odd jobs when we get them, so be it.

      • Tundra

        Stud.

        We’re resisting, too. With two kids in college and my travel requirements, it’s gonna be a motherfucker.

  35. Ayn Random Variation

    Funny, I’ve been in a small town in Colorado for the past few weeks and feel like I know half the town (well all of the drinkers anyway).
    Nobody wears masks here.
    Going back to philly Monday. Got an email from my apartment building couple of days ago notifying me that in compliance with new philly mask mandate, masks will have to be worn in all common areas of the building.
    I don’t know if I have it in me to comply with this shit again.

    • rhywun

      My building posted that shit a few months ago. I don’t have any idea if that command came from Bill but I ignore it. What are they going to do?

      There are a few Karens (of both sexes) but most of us are over it and even the Karens seem resigned to that fact and have stopped giving the rest of us the stink-eye.

      • Ayn Random Variation

        They are threatening us with $50 fines. Though I’m not sure how they plan to collect it. I pay my rent directly to the apartment owner. My building is Karen central, male and female. One day a guy yelled at me in the elevator for my mask not fully covering my nose. He startled me so much that I kind of went into some younger me mode and he ended up running off the elevator.

      • rhywun

        The worst I got was some woman (twenty-something, of course) who refused to get on the elevator with a bunch of retrograde Trumptard deniers. It was early in this BS requirement and I had mine on at the time. Pulled it off and got on the elevator, and haven’t worn the fucking thing since.

      • Loveconstitution1789

        Omg. We dont have mask mandates here in georgia and southern ways just dont lend to open judgment. I dont wear face diapers and the people that do dont say shit.

        Georgia was one of the first places that seemed to make masks wearers feel abnormal in 2020.

        I just saw my first few mask wearers in 6 months last week.

  36. Chipping Pioneer

    I am from a small town.

    When I was a teenager, I couldn’t wait to get out of there.

    Now that I’m in my 40’s, I can’t wait to get out of the city.

    There are advantages and disadvantages to not knowing the people you interact with on a daily basis. Being anonymous has its advantages, but it’s easy to dehumanize people you don’t know.

    • hayeksplosives

      I like outer suburbs. Close enough to city amenities when things like, say, major surgery is needed, but far enough to be “away”.

      The little enclave Im in now is lovely. I hope some other homebuyer agrees…

      • Chipping Pioneer

        We’re looking at something for our retirement: small town, 1/2 hour drive to a small city, no more than 2 hours to a major city. Taking vacation in a couple of weeks to scout out locations.

        Still considering Somalia.

      • creech

        I have a few friends looking at the small towns around Lancaster, PA, with Philly’s world class medical facilities less than two hours away.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        We live in the forest in the “suburbs” of a town of about 800.

        The liquor store is 10 minutes away.
        The nearest small city (hospital, doctors, dentists, hair cutters brewpub, grocers, etc) is about 30-45 minutes away.
        The nearest medium-sized cities (car dealerships, decent restaurants, shopping centers) are 60-75 minutes away.
        The nearest large city (well, what passes for a large city) (Costco, major surgical) is less than 2 hours away.

        And it’s nothing close to Somalia.

        Never had the desire to live in a metropolis.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Never had the desire to live in a metropolis.

        I’ve lived in the orbit of a couple the biggest 5 metropolises in the country for my entire adult life. Even she. You find a quiet little corner of the metro area, it’s constantly under threat of being “discovered” and descended upon by the locusts or otherwise populated by the assholes youre trying to escape.

        We’re looking at E. Texas, NW Arkansas and E Tennessee as potential landing spots when the employer decides to give me the “shoot or boot” ultimatum.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Insert:

        Local bar and grille is 25 minutes away.

      • Chafed

        You won’t have any trouble selling based on your location.

  37. MikeS

    I grew up in a small town, population 230. Of the 9 in my graduation class, 6 of us had gone to school together since kindergarten. They (and many others in the grades above and below) were more like extended family than schoolmates. It had it’s pros and cons. The big con was complete and total lack of any sort of anonymity.

    • pistoffnick

      I grew up in a town of 215 in south-eastern Minnesota – feed mill, 2 gas stations, 3 bars and 1 church. My neighbor was the cook at my elementary school (grades 1-4). She made the best macaroni and cheese. She also tattled on me whenever I fucked up.

      Her husband was the town’s furnace expert. He tried to get my mom to pay him for a furnace repair with sexual favors. Nobody seemed to tattle on him.

      I’d much rather live in the sticks now.

      • pistoffnick

        Dude has a road named after him! Fourscore is a force of nature.

        I always wanted a physics law named after me – I would settle for a road.

      • rhywun

        There is a road near my hometown that has my fairly uncommon last name. At least, I’ve never seen a street with that name anywhere else in the country. It’s on the way to the beach we always used to visit and it always made me smile. But… it’s probably just a coincidence since my father’s folk are from the other side of the country.

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        There is a road, a hotel, and a live music theater with my surname in San Fransisco.

        Well, the road is in Oakland.

      • Tundra

        Fourscore is a force of nature.

        He’s my hero.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Ditto

  38. MikeS

    LOL

    • Chipping Pioneer

      Heh.

    • blackjack

      It’s crazy and I want to laugh, but it’s pretty much straight faced fact right now. We are screwed.

    • Ayn Random Variation

      Will use

  39. Nah, just Yusef

    My Dad did 4 Tours, icluding the 1st expeditonary that Ike sent in ’59,
    /Good Times for Marines, bad times for the kids at home,

    • Nah, just Yusef

      Apropo of Nothing,

      • hayeksplosives

        I’m at a VFW right now; I was just looking at photos of the recent (post 9/11) deployed soldiers/sailors/marines adorning the walls.

        Working in defense keeps the thoughts of the folks out there making sacrifices front-and-center in my mind.

      • Nah, just Yusef

        Pictures of my Dad, over there, in country makes me a Patriot

      • Nah, just Yusef

        Marine

      • Tundra

        When WWII started, my grandpa, his two brothers and his DAD all enlisted. One Navy, two Marines and one Army. All four made it back.

      • Nah, just Yusef

        God Bless them all! Gpa was at Pearl as a 17 year old, I heard it was wild,

      • Gustave Lytton

        So was mine, and not far off the age. He luckily was sent to a gunnery school in ’41 so wasn’t there in December. His old ship sure was. Wasn’t sunk but was damaged.

      • creech

        Dad and seven uncles and one aunt, all Army (or AAF or RAAF) , served in the Big One. Only one didn’t make it back. None of them would talk much about it, or at least not the combat part. All had funny barrack stories about goldbrickers, martinet officers, bar fights on leave, and fubar stuff.

      • Loveconstitution1789

        Some Americans think a dismissive “thank you for your service” gets them off the hook. It doesnt and modern kungflu tyranny should illustrate that point.

        Freedom isnt free and the bill is coming due.

        The founding generation risked everything to found America. King george would have taken everything and hanged each “traitor” if americans lost.

        Commies inside and outside america are doubling down to destroy america and you either right now or pay later.

      • Loveconstitution1789

        *fight now…

  40. Brochettaward

    I left the Army when they refused to recognize my rank of First.

    • Nah, just Yusef

      The Marines wouldn’t have you…

      • Brochettaward

        It’s not often that I encounter someone who strikes me as being too dumb to be a Marine, but you manage that, Yusef. Your father must have been very disappointed in you.

      • Nah, just Yusef

        Compare my Writing with yours, oh, you have nothing to offer, i will Humbly bow to your greatness,

      • Nah, just Yusef

        oh this is fun moron,

      • Brochettaward

        Your writing isn’t good enough for my dog to shit on.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Not when they kept calling you “Bottom”?

      (Top is the pineapple/cilantro/deep dish of First Sergeants. Some took as a sign of affection, others were enraged to be called that)

  41. MikeS

    Question for the nerds technologically gifted: I need to get internet into my shop. Digging it in is basically not an option. I do get a decent signal from the house’s Wi-Fi when the overhead door is open; nothing when it is closed. What is the easiest/cheapest way to receive the signal on the outside and broadcast it into the inside?

    • Nah, just Yusef

      Run a hard line to a router, zip tie it to your electrical wires that feed the garage for convenience, if you can,

      • MikeS

        The shop’s electrical service is underground, and feed off the meter which is on a light pole in the yard.

      • Nah, just Yusef

        Darn! Air sucks sometimes,

    • EvilSheldon

      Ubiquiti has some inexpensive and functional point-to-point wireless bridges.

      • Gustave Lytton

        ^^ that’s what I’d do. Or just run some Cat5 from the house to the shop (direct buried rated or in conduit) if it’s not too far.

      • Nah, just Yusef

        I agree, a hard line is best in the long run,

      • MikeS

        Between the house and shop is approximately 120′ of gravel driveway. To make things even more fun, already under that gravel are both the internet and electric service lines.

        Wireless is my only decent option. I guess I knew I needed a wireless bridge, it’s just that when I try and go shopping for one my eyes gloss over trying to figure out which one is my best option. And I mean, what exactly do i need? Do I put one of these on the outside and run CAT 5 through the wall to a wireless router inside?

      • Tundra

        StarLink?

      • MikeS

        *can’t tell if being serious*

      • Tundra

        Serious.

        My buddy is in the wilds of Oregon and it seems to be working out.

      • MikeS

        I have highspeed fiber-optic internet in the house, just need to broadcast it to the shop.

      • Brochettaward

        They have high speed fiber optic internet in North Dakota?

      • MikeS

        Yes. Thank you for making it happen via your donation income tax deduction.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I think this one (well pair of) would work better because it includes a POE adapter, unless your existing router has POE output.
        https://store.ui.com/collections/wireless/products/nanobeam-5ac-gen2?_pos=4&_sid=01bb95358&_ss=r

        Not sure if you can join your house side wireless network or need to run cat5 to your existing router or access point. On the shop side, you may have to run cat5 from the nanobeam to another wireless access point inside your shop, if the signal isn’t strong enough due to the siding.

      • MikeS

        OK. So, I mount this outside the shop, run CAT5 from it though the wall, and either connect that CAT5 line directly to my laptop, or to a router if I want Wi-Fi in the shop. Right?

        You mentioned “pair of”. Are you saying I would I have to have one sending from the house and one receiving at the shop? The rouse router is pretty strong and already sends a decent signal as far as the exterior shop walls.

      • MikeS

        Ruh-Roh! “house” not “rouse”

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yeah, would need a pair to bring it out to the shop. Some sort of mesh WiFi maybe instead, but would have to run in place of your existing router’s WiFi (just turn it off).

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      Three options, in decreasing goodness.

      1) find a way to run a cable. Wired always beats wireless.

      2) run a cable to the exterior of the house closest to the shed and stick an outdoor wireless access point there.

      3) run a cable to the interior part of the house closest to the shed and put a wireless access point there.

      If you do 2 or 3, you may need to mesh a second access point or add a repeater in order to get good coverage at the shed. OTOH, it may be enough just to fire up an AP at the house to reach the shed. All depends on the layout, building materials, etc.

      ES is right that Ubiquiti is a good one. There are some alternatives out there that are also at that prosumer grade.

      • MikeS

        The problem is that the shop is a steel building. There is already a decent signal outside the shop, but it just bounces right off the walls and nothing gets inside.

      • Plinker762

        Well then, just rip the metal off the side facing the house and put up wood siding.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        decent signal from the house’s Wi-Fi when the overhead door is open; nothing when it is closed.

        Or replace the steel door with a fiberglass one.

      • MikeS

        Northern North Dakota. I like my insulated steel garage doors.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Slightly tongue-in-cheek comment to Plinker’s comment.

        Sounds like a Wi-Fi booster is in your future.

      • MikeS

        Oh…yes. Tired and my sarc-o-meter is failing me.

      • MikeS

        That’s either genius or moronic. I can’t decide.

        OK, I decided.

      • The least-interesting BEAM in the world™

        Cat5 riser cable strung overhead from your house to the shed. Drill a hole in the shed wall. Push cable through. Connect on other side.
        You’re welcome.

      • The least-interesting BEAM in the world™

        (In case you’re wondering, I’ve done it before; the only serious limitation is Cat5 length, so you might need a repeater or amplifier.)

      • The least-interesting BEAM in the world™

        Just checked. Cat5 can be run for 100 metres / 328 feet. Let ‘er rip.

      • The least-interesting BEAM in the world™

        You might need a guy wire for cable support. I’d go with something non-conductive. No use attracting lightning.

      • Plinker762

        So you just need an antenna outside the shop. Are you trying to run one or multiple devices?

      • MikeS

        Just want to get internet out there for surfing and listening to music on the laptop.

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        Drill a bunch of holes in the dirt along the driveway, put up 12′ poles and string a line of outdoor CAT5.

    • Loveconstitution1789

      As someone said, wired or make sure your wifi antennea is outside the shed/place to get good signal.btw, metal does not necessarily bounce wifi signal. There are multiple factors to consider. Wall Density, magnetic fields, deflection….

      • MikeS

        Yeah, the inside is also covered with spray-foam insulation, so apparently that and the steel is enough to stop the signal from penetrating. It also significantly reduces my cell service. Outside is nearly full 4G. Inside, unless standing immediately in front of the single window, the signal wavers between nothing and one or maybe two bars of 3G

        Sometimes it’s nice. No need to make a tinfoil hat.

      • Loveconstitution1789

        Unintentional Faraday cage….

      • MikeS

        Yup. It’s just an insulated steel shed. Steel from the floor to the peak of the roof.

      • Mojeaux

        Oh. Missed that part.

    • Mojeaux

      You could always get an unlimited data plan and use your phone for a hotspot.

      • Festus

        Hah! I signed up for unlimited data and the one place that I would use it the most has terrible coverage.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Another option. Call 811 for locates and see exactly where your power and internet are. Rent a trencher. 100M length on cat5 gives you room to run less than direct path. Or place conduit and run the cat5 in that.

      Overkill solution: run conduit, place OM2 fiber, multimode media converters on either end.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Ahh! Think I might have your solution

      https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00P4JKQGK/

      See review #2.

      Most WiFi extenders I was finding were indoor only. This one is outdoor rated and would seem to fit the bill exactly.

      • MikeS

        Hey! That sounds good. Review 3 damn is damn near exactly my situation. Thanks, Gustave! I really appreciate the time you put into helping me with this.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Not at all! Totally fun and helped me with figuring out how to get internet to remote section of our property. No faraday cage but looking at building a shed and would like to be able to glibget IMs from the wife when dinner is ready.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I also need to redo the WiFi in the house. Have google’s mesh and it’s going into the skip sooner than later. Waiting til fall or winter to do the attic crawl.

    • one true athena

      Friends of ours discovered their two-story house had been put together with drywall that has a metal sheet on one side. They had to run cable everywhere, because no wifi would work.

      But since you said you have good strength if there’s an opening, can you cut a small opening on the side? Maybe it would work just to cut a hole in the metal, cover it with glass/plastic, and leave the insulation in place. You just need a gap for the signal to get through after all.

  42. Festus

    Whelp. Pumpkin-headed neighbor and his pumpkin shaped wife just sold their property to a bunch of Rap rednecks. This should be fun. Trashy girls and much hootin’ and hollerin’ do abound. I don’t have anymore hands to cradle my tender little skull.

    • The least-interesting BEAM in the world™

      Sorry, mang.

      • Festus

        There is a nice high fence betwixt our properties but sound carries down here in the holler.

  43. Festus

    They’ve been in there for two weeks and there are no curtains = RED FLAG!

    • Brochettaward

      They could just be exhibitionists.

      • Festus

        I keep lookin’ but nary a one showin’. I don’t want to live beside hillbilly Delta House! 15 or 20 years ago I would have gone over and introduced myself. Nowadays I’m Walter White, seething with repressed rage and incapacity.

      • Brochettaward

        If you’re looking that makes you a voyeur.

      • Festus

        Bon Voyage! Photons are free.

  44. Loveconstitution1789

    On a funnier note, I just karaoked “at a medium pace” tonight. Got the looks from those that were barely listening until theyheard certain turns of phrase…

    • Festus

      I’ve always wanted to croon some Zappa tunes but I highly doubt that they are in the rotation. We did serenade our friend’s squeeze with a badly botched version of “Young Girl” Temptations style.

      • MikeS

        Haha. From the comments:

        Whenever I find myself in a strange city I sing this tune on the karaoke, just to see the expressions on strange peoples faces.

      • Festus

        “Just because the Sun wants a place in the sky, no reason to assume I wouldn’t give her a try”…

      • Festus

        Oddly enough I’ve been singing that tune for the last two weeks at work. The empty warehouse really makes it resonate. The mice and spiders like “Broken Hearts Are For Assholes” and “Baby Snakes”. They might get a rousing encore of “The Muffin Man”…

  45. Ownbestenemy

    Swiss from the top ropes nuked the Zoom. Fucking swiss sticking their noses into everything

    • Festus

      Not the first time, not the last.

    • Brochettaward

      Start your own Zoom. With blackjack. And hookers.

  46. Festus

    So they are are starting to mandate vaccines. 30% of us say Fuck that! What the hell happens next?

    • Ownbestenemy

      Numbers must have shown that acceptable amount of 30% is acceptable.

    • Festus

      I think we’re a large enough minority to be considered a threat by the majority. Eggs will be broken.

      • Brochettaward

        Even if 15% of the population just refuses to give in here, which I’d consider the upper limit of real resistance, these people don’t care. They will relish the opportunity to ruin you for non-compliance.

    • Brochettaward

      You lose your job. I’m not trying to be a dick, just no point in sugarcoating it. You can sue. You’ll lose, and still be out of your job regardless. There’s no strength in numbers here. People are pretty fixed to their positions here and reality or compromise are out the window for many. The people enforcing the mandates have all the major institutions behind them cheering them on. They think their cause is righteous. And if people are going to cave, it’s going to be on the anti-vax side.

      • Festus

        That is disheartening.

      • Festus

        I still won’t comply. My entire life has been nothing but wasted potential. If this the hill I die on, so be it. I’m old, I don’t give a shit no more.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Replace vax with gun grabbing, and it’s the same calculus unfortunately.

      • Festus

        Pro-vaxxers and gun-grabbers would be this Venn Diagram O

      • hayeksplosives

        A-yup.

        And next to the O would be a smaller o representing “Maybe they’ll stop here if we just compromise on this one thing…”

    • Sean

      This is the time to take a stand.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Stock up, get your finances in order and get ready to ride the roller coaster. It’s gonna be a wild ride.

  47. Toxteth O'Grady

    So who needs sleep anyway?

  48. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam ?

    TALL SABBATH CANS !

    whats goody

  49. rhywun

    Today in meaningless-statistics click-bait:

    New York City hit a somber milestone on Saturday, surpassing 1 million cases of COVID-19 since the start of the pandemic.

    zOMG! ?

    SOMBER!!1!

    • Ted S.

      At least this time it wasn’t grim.

  50. Tres Cool

    I was reading comment #5 and it got me thinking about the people I know that got the jab. Granted, a small sample size (n=12 or so) but some have had 0 side-effects, and some were sick to the point of nearly presenting to the ER. So assuming this is a mass drug trial and we’re seeing “breakthrough infections” or positive tests in “vaccinated individuals”, I wonder how many of the “the shot is fine- no side effects” people got a placebo.

    /adds more tin-foil on grocery list

    • rhywun

      No. I am not clicking that.

      • Sean

        Smart.

      • Tres Cool

        She looks like the kid from Home Alone, if he ate a bunch of testosterone and did crunches all day.

        I’ll be more impressed if she gets a functioning peen installed. They did John Wayne Bobbitt, after all.

    • rhywun

      Fabios Bar said the rider was DJing there hours before.

      Lu said his car was too small to carry the passenger with the equipment, and that’s when the suspect attacked him. “He started using a microphone stand to hit my head,” said Lu. “I got six or seven stitches.”

      Charming. Also, WTF.

      • Tres Cool

        The reporter, Joy Benedict, looks good enough to eat.

      • Ted S.

        Just because you’re into exponent-sized women doesn’t mean the rest of us are.

    • rhywun

      That’s so clever it might work. Actually, I hope it does. Would expose the whole thing as the political witch-hunt it is.

      • Ted S.

        And yet a lot of people are *happy* that it’s a political witch hunt.

  51. Sean

    Some Dr on the news this morning mansplained that me being unvaccinated is putting kids in the hospital.

    *beams with pride*

    • Tres Cool

      But get the vaccine, cause it works so well. Oh, and wear your mask. 2 of them, just in case.

      • Sean

        Be sure to schedule that booster shot!