Friday Morning Links

by | Aug 20, 2021 | Daily Links | 579 comments

“Oh no, we suck again!”

Some big soccer matches coming this weekend, headlined by Chelsea-Arsenal, Everton-Leeds, and West Ham-Liecester, which is actually Monday but should be a fun one IMO.  The D-backs have officially crawled out of the MLB basement, as the Orioles take their rightful place as the worst in the league as their streak runs to 15 losses in a row.  The US Open is right around the corner, and Osaka is struggling. More importantly though, I wonder how Joker is healing up as he tries to move alone past Federer and Nadal.  And an era is about to come to an end in the baseball card world.

Boss

Big birthdays today include such notables as Antarctica discoverer Fabian Gottlieb von Bellingshausen, naval hero Oliver Hazard Perry, horror writer H.P. Lovecraft, Italian author Salvatore Quasimodo, baseball player AL Lopez, writer Jacqueline Suzann, boxing promoter and convicted murderer Don King, political legend Dr. Ron Paul, war criminal Slobodan Milosevic, soul singer Isaac Hayes, infielder Graig Nettles, Led Zeppelin’s Robert Plant, Thin Lizzy’s Phil Lynott, weatherman Al Roker, pitcher Mark Langston, rapper KRS-One, Pantera’s “Dimebag” Darrell Abbott, pitcher Andy Benes, lovely actress Amy Adams, and big-assed singer Demi Lovato.

Right, now moving on to…the links!

Yeah, this is why he’s unqualified to be governor. Nevermind the guy who currently holds the position is an absolute fucking train wreck and a massive hypocrite.  Either way, Elder’s biggest obstacle to winning is the print-at-home ballot.

I don’t care how crazy he is, he’s better than the idiot in charge now.

Cool. Now define “first time ever”. Oh, that’s right…you can’t.  Because people have only been there regularly for about a decade. Also, who gives a shit?

OK, now get your ass in there and do your job. And frankly, I don’t care how you vote. What I do care about is that you show up and do the job you were elected to do, whether you like the results or not. Anything short of that is actually subverting democracy, regardless what you say to the contrary.

Britney Spears can’t catch a break. Jeez, free this poor woman.

Keep trying to scare people. Newsflash: they’re over your bullshit.

The heir apparent isn’t very popular. Yeah, no shit. She didn’t even make the primary season because she’s an unlikeable asshole.

Unlikeable asshole is unlikeable

But “nobody could have predicted this”. The ineptitude of this entire administration could be summed up in a three second video.

And this is why people shouldn’t trust cops. This union should be disbanded and a racketeering investigation opened up into their routine subversion of justice.

Crocodile Dundee cosplay is getting out of control in the Bay Area. Good thing nobody was killed, as residents are basically forbidden from defending themselves against the deranged.

Finally!!!!! All those people who go from downtown to the Galleria can ride the bus.   Oh wait, nobody who shops at the Galleria rides a bus. And they sure as shit don’t need to build a dedicated bus lane on the freaking freeway for mass transit when there’s a gazillion cars using the road every day stuck in traffic.  Houston officials, you suck.

A third option, probably the most pervasive, is to build a full set of lanes that will run above the eastbound lanes of I-10, fully covering the main lanes below. That option would be in conjunction with the Texas Department of Transportation, which would use a majority of the lanes for upcoming managed lanes inside The Loop.

Sweet Jesus, this doesn’t work in Austin or Dallas. But Houston is gonna one-up them by dedicating part of the lanes to mass transit.  Assholes.

Here’s a great song to get your end of the week started. Hope you enjoy it.

Now get out there and have a great Friday and an ever better weekend, friends!

About The Author

sloopyinca

sloopyinca

579 Comments

  1. Not Adahn

    The links arrived early! It’s a… St. Heliodorus Day miracle!

    • Festus

      I shall never be first,

      • Rat on a train

        You’re not last.

  2. Festus

    Kamala sucked dick to gain authority.

    • waffles

      Like just one? Once or repeatedly?

      • WTF

        Ask Willie Brown.

      • waffles

        I regret asking at all really.

      • Rat on a train

        Biden won’t answer questions.

      • UnCivilServant

        Biden won’t is incapable of answering questions.

        FIFY

      • limey

        Biden won’t isn’t allowed to answer questions.

        FTFY

    • Tonio

      It don’t work that way, bro. If it did, I’d be God Emporer.

      • Rat on a train

        It’s not what you suck, but who you suck.

      • Tonio

        [kicks pebble]

      • Bobarian LMD

        If there is one thing I’ve learned from my years of government service:

        It’s not who you know or who you blow; it’s how well you blow who you know!

  3. Not Adahn

    I love(d) driving that part f Houston in either my Z3 or my WRX. With six+ lanes to play around in, there’s always a path forward.

    • sloopyinca

      The only shitty part about driving that part of I-10 is that you’re either driving toward downtown Houston or Katy and that you’ll eventually get where you’re going.

      • Fourscore

        I made that trip in from Katy several times, I just did what I was told. Traffic is traffic. Seemed to me Houston traffic was more polite than other cities. Inbound on 10 in the morning was safe, 10 MPH, so there was that.

  4. Not Adahn

    The heir apparent isn’t very popular.

    NPR was gushing about how great it was having the first Asian VP visiting Asia. But even they entertained the possibility that she’d fuck something up.

    • Tonio

      She’s Asian! She’s Black! She’s Caribbean! She’s a woman! She’s all things to all people.

      • db

        She’s a dessert topping *and* a floor wax.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Well she did buff the floor of Willy Brown’s place with her knee pads.

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        Except competent.

      • Sean

        *cackles*

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      NPR actually aired an interview with an Afghani translator this morning that was critical of the US. His position was that he was embedded with US troops for over a decade translating for them while they killed the Taliban, he doesn’t really blame the Taliban for wanting to eliminate him. He just blames the US for taking seven years to not get his visa approved before the whole thing fell apart.

      • WTF

        “You fucked up, you trusted us.”

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        There is the lesson for the rest of the world.

      • WTF

        Basically what the British Parliament said.

  5. Not Adahn

    Newsflash: they’re over your bullshit.

    The governor of MA announced that all state workers will be required to be vaccinated, including any future booster shots, including including employees who are full time work from home.

    • sloopyinca

      I’d assume that will be challenged by the police unions.

      • blackjack

        Yeah, good luck. The fucking DOD memo is so fucking stupid that even Roberts might have a hard time justifying it. Meaning Roberts is weeks away from justifying it.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Hard, but not impossible.

    • Festus

      We’re about to be bankrupted.

      • AlexinCT

        They can always raise taxes on the Massholes…

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      including any future booster shots, including employees who are full time work from home

      That essay from yesterday is proving itself already.

      Pretty soon, nobody will give a shit if all of the government just disappears one day.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        These are the orders I’ve just been given. Including all future boosters and my company will be eventually working with state governments to verify attestations of status.

        Mine was late on the mandate ball and I’m assuming this will be the new status quo for most companies that aren’t small. I’m waiting for the flu and other vaccine boosters to be added as an annual requirement.

        Guaranteed billions for Moderna and Pfizer.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I assume the WFH requirement is because the companies don’t want to have to deal with irate personnel who cannot work from home and feel discriminated against in this respect.

        So much of this entire effort has been cowardice and laziness on the part of the managerial class. They live in abject fear of having to make a decision for which they will be held accountable, so it’s better to just apply one standard to everybody and claim it was equitable treatment.

      • rhywun

        I assume the WFH requirement is because the companies don’t want to have to deal with irate personnel who cannot work from home and feel discriminated against in this respect.

        Yup. Same “everyone must suffer equally” phenomenon that has been driving all of this bullshit all along.

        If this is what’s truly coming… I can’t even. I’m not ready to retire.

    • rhywun

      including employees who are full time work from home

      *bangs head against desk*

      • Rat on a train

        viruses spread through computers

      • juris imprudent

        Muwhahaha – you thought we forgot about YOU?

      • Ghostpatzer

        Shit. I am planning to retire when I am no longer able to work. Looks like that time may come sooner than I thought, and for different reasons

  6. waffles

    Hey Glibs! They say the first casualty of war is the truth. So how much of the AfghanEvac nightmare is fucking bullshit and how much do we know what’s really going on? Can we believe our eyes even if we see video? I’m inclined to think there’s a lot yarn being spun.

    Happy Friday!

    • PieInTheSky

      Either way it is a shitshow. You never know what to believe but it is unlikely the debacle in non existent and staged. governments are not that competent and so many involved could not keep a secret. There is obviously propaganda and bullshit mixed in.

      • AlexinCT

        I am now suspecting it is a shitshow by design. The equipment was either not destroyed before they left because they thought the withdrawal would be canceled, or they thought that letting the Taliban get the equipment would be so infuriating that people would want to send troops back. I want to believe this is just incompetence, but jeebus, this level of incompetence would be life threatening and would have caused massive casualties already..

    • Festus

      I believe Lara Logan. She says that it is all happening for a reason. The one superpower in the world can’t maintain logistics? This was done aforesight. What the end game might be is anyone’s guess.

      • PieInTheSky

        I believe Lara Logan – why she is not that hot

      • Festus

        I dig her! Granted, I’m pretty old.

      • Count Potato

        Not your blood type?

      • UnCivilServant

        Lame article. Doesn’t even go into what the supposed personality correlations are.

    • Cy Esquire

      Yeah, you can believe your eyes. The elites are so full of themselves they truly don’t give a shit what reality is and whether or not it sees the light of day. I think Hunter’s multiple gigantic hilariously absurd fuck ups, that the whole world can see and prosecute, were all the evidence I need to know they just don’t give a shit.

      They can do whatever they want and nobody, especially the people who are supposed, will do anything about it.

    • The Last American Hero

      It’s the real deal. The Narrative was going to be that Oatmeal Brains delaying the withdrawal allowed for things to run like a Swiss watch. Now it’s such a shitshow that not even the Sycophant Class can cover it up.

  7. Not Adahn

    Fun times at the dog park — a cute little JAP was there with a purse dog and a Weimaraner. Her conversational contributions included spirituality woo and a comment that she’s thinking about getting back into polo. The larger dog was a female named “Wally.” Short for “Walraven.” As I left I noticed a luxed-out Volvo SUV with a “Walraven Foundation” placard on it.

    I wonder if I could convince her I’m a guru of sorts…

    • sloopyinca

      The only shocking part of this anecdote is that she wasn’t driving a Range Rover Sport.

      • Festus

        The only shocking part was when he didn’t cum on the Weimeraner.

      • Sean

        o_O

      • Festus

        That was funny. Admit it!

      • Not Adahn

        He’s a cat person.

    • UnCivilServant

      Maybe a guru of shorts.

    • waffles

      I like stories like this.

    • db

      Do her horoscope. No, wait, her dog’s horoscope. Maybe the stars are aligned and she will be your High Priestess

      • Tonio

        ^This guy has game.

      • Festus

        Yup. DB and most all of you make me feel imbecilic. I try to be smart, I really do.

      • Fourscore

        Now I know you are a real son, apple/tree and all that.

      • Festus

        Awesome!

      • db

        I don’t know about that. I can come up with the idea, but I’d never be able to execute it effectively.

  8. db

    How did I miss the fact that I share a birthday with H.P. Lovecraft? That’s pretty awesome.

    • Sean

      Happy birthday

      • db

        Thanks! Not fishing at all!

      • waffles

        Too bad. Happy birthday!

      • db

        Classic! Thanks!

      • TARDis

        Happy Birthday anyway. You also share it with another wonderful person. My XX is 23 today. Hopefully we’ll get to take her to dinner this weekend. Cheers!??

      • AlexinCT

        Cthulhu wishes you a happy birthday food…

    • sloopyinca

      No, he shares your birthday, db. Because he’s dead and you’re not, so you own it. Well, you and Ron Paul.

      Happy birthday, buddy.

      • db

        Wow I missed the Ron Paul part too. Even cooler!

        Thanks!

    • PieInTheSky

      Happy birthday. Party responsibly.

    • UnCivilServant

      There’s a reason you have an eldrich horror as a roommate.

    • l0b0t

      Happy Birthday, sir. May Nyarlathotep keep you safe and sane.

      • db

        As safe and sane as I’ll ever be, I’ll be in the presence of Nyarlathotep.

    • Festus

      Happy BD, ya Hippy!

    • Tonio

      Happy Birthday!

    • Ghostpatzer

      Happy birthday, from an old one.

    • Count Potato

      Happy Birthday!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      May Cthulhu eat you first. Happy Birthday.

    • wdalasio

      Happy Birthday!

    • Animal

      Many happy returns, db!

    • Zwak, jack off, all trades

      That is almost as good as sharing with Quasimodo!

      I mean, talk about getting your hump on.

    • Tundra

      Happy birthday, db!

      Be irresponsible.

    • db

      Thanks, everyone!

  9. The Late P Brooks

    On Thursday, Harris gave her first on-camera remarks in seven days, delivering a taped three-minute address to the National Association of Black Journalists’ (NABJ) virtual convention. She praised their work covering the COVID-19 pandemic as well as what she called “anti-voter bills that have been introduced in state legislatures across our country,” but made no mention of Afghanistan.

    Best woman of color for the job, maybe.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      What about scolding them for not promoting the vaccines?

      • sloopyinca

        She’s got to come up with a Tupac lyric to sell the west coast blacks on vaccines, since that NBC dude got the Biggie Smalls rhyme covered for the east coast contingent.

    • Rebel Scum

      what she called “anti-voter bills that have been introduced in state legislatures across our country

      Which bills would these be? ///rhetorical

      • juris imprudent

        The ones casting sunlight into the election process.

  10. PieInTheSky

    Cool. Now define “first time ever”. Oh, that’s right…you can’t. Because people have only been there regularly for about a decade. Also, who gives a shit? – the offcial definition of ever is 30 years I believe

    • Rat on a train

      Last year was the Xst ever recorded. This year could surpass it.*

      * We just started keeping records last year.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    I wonder if I could convince her I’m a guru of sorts…

    Maybe she’ll let you brand her with a red hot coat hanger.

  12. WTF

    ‘Women exaggerate the problem of sexism’

    How is stating the truth “disparaging women”? It’s not like he said “all women”.

    • Rat on a train

      blackfeet?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        LOL

      • Not Adahn

        She’s an ATO little sis?

      • juris imprudent

        Sure just wait for their earnings to soften.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I suppose mindlessly destroying the business model that made you successful in the first place is all the rage these days.

      • Not Adahn

        See also: Ellen Pao.

      • Rat on a train

        Tumblr says hi.

      • PieInTheSky

        Ellen Pao was ruined by white supremacy and sexism.

      • Trigger Hippie

        It’s a wonder we ever let her be successful in the first place.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        The banks are squeezing them to do this. To me, it is more than a little scary when banks are making themselves moral arbiters. Granted that this is just a continuation of an ongoing trend, but this isn’t a payment processer shafting a “controversial” marginally popular YouTube creator outside of the mainstream, this is far more brazen and disturbing..

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        Remember when everyone said that it would be the religious right doing shit like this?

        Yeah, good times, good times.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Authoritarians gonna Authoritarian, regardless of the banner they do it under.

      • Ozymandias

        It’s always been progjection. All the people screaming about their fears of the “Moral majority” and that shit from the 80s were deluding themselves.
        They got played like a fiddle.

      • PieInTheSky

        part of the religious right is kind on in an alliance with part of the radical feminists on this topic. So they are not without blame

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        The dirty little secret is that the progressives exists in both parties. To the extent that TEAM BE RULED exists, a major vector of cooperation is authoritarian socons and authoritarian leftists working in unrecognized harmony to tear down liberty and wrestle one another for the levers of power.

        Of course, this is entirely predictable when you understand that the first progs were evangelicals who evolved into modern day socons , and the second generation of progs were their atheist children whose progeny carry the current progressive mantle.

      • Ozymandias

        Trashy gets the square.

  13. Rebel Scum

    ‘Women exaggerate the problem of sexism’: Top California recall candidate Larry Elder has a long history of making disparaging remarks about women

    So when are you going to quote an actual disparaging comment?

    • Rat on a train

      They are too disparaging to repeat. Just have faith in the priests.

    • l0b0t

      He seems to have a lock on CA’s Asian vote. I watched a video yesterday of some zoomie with Elder and a whole bunch of Tiger Moms who are furious about Newsome’s education policies.

      • rhywun

        And that is big vote in CA.

        NY too, when we get a turn.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Questioning the narrative is disparagement.

    • rhywun

      Republican says Republican-things.

      CNN readers hardest hit.

    • robc

      If Elder were younger, I could see him turning the CA governorship into the Presidency. He isn’t going to win reelection, so that would be the only political option.

      At his age, if he wins in CA, he just gets to have a few years of fun. Although I guess he would only be 72 in 2024.

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        He would just be Biden his time!

      • The Last American Hero

        First he has to win the California governorship, which he won’t. Then he has to deal with at Team Blue supermajority that will literally override every veto and pass shit he won’t sign.

        Then run for re-election next year, get sandbagged for 4 more years, then….

        It ain’t gonna happen.

      • robc

        I think he wins this one, but he won’t win reelection, which is what I said.

        If he were 10 years younger, I think winning the recall would be enough to launch him into a national Prez bid. He could start running as soon as his term ended.

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        About 5-6 years ago I told a very liberal California friend that the state was setting the stage for a major Republican takeover. Of course, they didn’t believe me. But I do have to say, I didn’t think it would happen this soon.

    • l0b0t

      Every 1990s sorority girl at FSU enthusiastically agrees.

      • PieInTheSky

        what was the talent level among 90s FSU sorority girls? 7s? 8s? Any 9s here and there?

      • Not Adahn

        Oh, you have GOT to come to the US sometime…

      • robc

        Yes, he should. FSU is like a skankier version of Ole Miss. Ole Miss girls seem more wholesome in their hotness.

        Honestly, any state school in the South produces high quality coeds (even my school, we just had low quantity).

      • l0b0t

        Easily 7 – 10 across the board. The only thing that was off-putting was the habit they maintained of jogging with full makeup. In the Tallahassee heat/humidity, after about 5 minutes of running, they looked like silly wet clowns.

      • PieInTheSky

        silly wet clowns. – I am sure plenty have that kink

      • waffles

        I wouldn’t say kink but I used to date clowns, while clowning.

      • PieInTheSky

        do clowns make squeaky noises while banging?

      • Not Adahn

        Like a clown? Like I’m here to amuse you

      • db

        Didn’t know you were a clown. Personally, I think clowns get a bad rap, and I feel bad about contributing to anti clown prejudice, but sometimes clown jokes are pretty funny.

    • db

      Dave Portnoy said that?

      • PieInTheSky

        well it is his tweet

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Now that’s funny.

    • Chipwooder

      Fuckin’ Dave Matthews…..after 28 years I’m still having to hear about that guy. He started out in Charlottesville and was the bartender at Miller’s Tavern on the Downtown Mall. In my time in Cville, I liked going to Miller’s except for having to hear giggly fans gushing “Dave used to work here!” Even before then, when they were nobodies, they were popular with the preppie fucks at my school, to the point that his band played our homecoming dance in 1993. It was around that time when, being the angry teenage punk I was, I painted “Dave Matthews Must Die” on a white t-shirt. Ah, those were the days.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        LOL, the trials and tribulations of growing up in Virginia in the 90’s.

        I left in 94 for California. I didn’t miss the Virginia scene at all.

      • Chipwooder

        I left for California in ’94 too. One year at Pepperdine in 94-95, but then I had to bow to economic reality and transfer to UVA for in-state tuition.

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        Huh, I left California for Freson in ’94.

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        Fresno.

        Fuck I cannot type this AM.

      • Rat on a train

        I left California in 97 for Maryland and ended up in Virginia. It’s getting bad here, but better than California.

      • wdalasio

        preppie fucks at my school

        UVa, I assume?

      • Not Adahn

        *pops collar*

      • wdalasio

        Meh. I went to Hampden-Sydney. We’re sort of the running champions on the whole preppy fuck circuit.

      • Chipwooder

        I meant high school but, yeah, UVA after that.

        I knew a bunch of guys from my high school who went to H-SC but I think I’m too much younger than you for them to have been there at the same time.

    • The Last American Hero

      The notion of that dude being the GOAT is laughable. He’s not even in the top 10 most talented Jam Band/Noodle Band musicians of all time.

      And DMB isn’t an actual band. They are a rhythm section. It’s just that calling it Dave Matthew’s Rhythm Section isn’t as catchy.

    • rhywun

      *barf*

      I don’t define “good” or “bad” – I just don’t like them in the least.

    • Lord Humungus

      A million years ago I threw a party, inviting a bunch of EF’s friends and (the few) people I knew.

      One obnoxious chubby girl, while I was playing The Pagans, asked if I had any Dave Matthews Band.

      Me: No.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Vox wants your life to be easier

    The next big Joe Biden spending package is coming: This week, the Senate narrowly passed, on party lines, a budget resolution designed to enable as much as $3.5 trillion in new spending over 10 years.

    Congressional Democrats say the spending package will be paid for, and they have been clear about one of the main sources of funding: the IRS. The Biden administration has proposed an $80 billion funding boost to the agency over 10 years as part of its “American Families Plan,” an increase of more than 50 percent to the agency’s normal budget. The Biden team estimates that could raise nearly $700 billion over that same period, paying for itself nine times over. That could fund a huge number of other Biden initiatives, from an enhanced child tax credit to paid family and medical leave to child care assistance.

    But it could also pay for an improvement to the tax system itself. While no one in the administration or Congress seems to be making much noise about this, the IRS funding plan could be a golden opportunity to force the agency to join the rest of the world in offering a free, easy-to-use service that all Americans can use to file their taxes.

    ——-

    In the long run, though, there’s no reason to compensate private firms on a per-return basis. What the government could do instead is build its own free-to-use software for tax filers.

    Nina Olson, who served from 2001 to 2019 as the national taxpayer advocate, a position in the IRS advocating for taxpayers and for improved customer service, has been proposing this for years, and today argues for it as executive director of the non-government Center for Taxpayer Rights.

    Here’s how it would work: The IRS would start by putting out a request for proposals (RFP) for a new system to be built by private software/IT firms. That RFP could lay out a replica of today’s system, with full-featured software for low-income people and Free File Fillable Forms for others. But it could also just make the full-featured software available to everyone — and should, in my opinion.

    ——-

    The IRS could also go a step further from just free filing and experiment with pre-filled returns, an idea that has been floating around tax policy circles for decades.

    The actual work of doing your taxes mostly involves rifling through various IRS forms you get in the mail. There are W-2s listing your wages, 1099s showing miscellaneous income like from one-off gigs, etc. The main advantage of TurboTax is that it can import these forms automatically and spare you this step.

    They already have everything they need to calculate your taxes.

    The IRS could just send you a bill for all the valuable services the government provides. Wouldn’t that be swell?

    Simplify the tax code? That would be hard.

    • PieInTheSky

      Simplify the tax code? That would be hard. – not hard but against against the plan

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      But it could also pay for an improvement to the tax system itself

      Haaaaahahaahahshahahaaaaaaaaaa

      Be serious.

    • UnCivilServant

      0% for all taxes.

      Defund the IRS.

      • PieInTheSky

        But with 0% taxes how will the US pay for the next Afghanistan?

      • UnCivilServant

        Letters of Marque and Reprisal.

      • Not Adahn

        Hmmm.

        How could we incentivize the Mexican cartels to take control of opium production?

      • Ted S.

        They can sell NFTs.

    • kbolino

      Here’s how it would work: The IRS would start by putting out a request for proposals (RFP) for a new system to be built by private software/IT firms. That RFP could lay out a replica of today’s system, with full-featured software for low-income people and Free File Fillable Forms for others. But it could also just make the full-featured software available to everyone — and should, in my opinion.

      This will turn out differently than every other colossal government IT contracting fuckup how exactly?

    • Certified Public Asshat

      force the agency to join the rest of the world in offering a free, easy-to-use service that all Americans can use to file their taxes.

      It is 8/20, the corporation I work for is still waiting for refunds we filed for in January. I have an IRS contact that doesn’t use the phone (not that it would matter) but does communicate via email. Everything is “in process.”

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        We’ve seen the effectiveness of the DOD on full display as of late. Now extrapolate that performance to the IRS, probably the most mismanaged and least motivated workforce in all of the federal government. Odds are most of them are work from home and haven’t put in a full forty hours of work in the last six months.

      • Gustave Lytton

        haven’t put in a full forty hours of work in the last six months

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        Dude, we are watching the DMVing of the US gov’t in real-time.

    • Rebel Scum

      Congressional Democrats say the spending package will be paid for

      That’s a knee-slapper if I ever saw one.

      What the government could do instead is build its own free-to-use software for tax filers.

      Because that worked out so well with the (un)Affordable Care Act.

      Simplify the tax code?

      Sounds like insurrectionist talk to me.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Hey they still have checks in their checkbook!

  15. Rebel Scum

    The rare rainfall caused significant melting at the summit and along the ice sheet’s southeastern coast over the weekend and occurred just weeks after the region experienced a separate extensive melting event in late July.

    That’s called “summer”.

    The recent warm spell adds to concerns that climate change is rapidly melting ice in the Arctic, which accelerates sea-level rise around the world.

    I thought the arctic ice was supposed to be gone by now. And I read that antarctic ice has increased. Curious…

    • PieInTheSky

      Arctic ice outside of greenland melting does not really raise sea levels.

    • Cy Esquire

      Strange… 0 evidence of any sea level rises yet.

      It been 20 years Al! But hey, if you just ride that jumbo jet around the globe a few more times, you might just commit a self fulfilling prophecy!

      • PieInTheSky

        when you adjust the data enough you will see sea level rise is accelerating

      • Rat on a train

        When sea level rise is detected, they won’t tell you how much is from isostatic subsidence.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      He better, because the government is going to come for him.

      If I’ve learned anything about the Australian government over the past year, it’s that they’re petty to the extreme.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    He even has challenged mainstream orthodoxy on subjects like violence against women.

    And this, of course, is his true sin, and the reason he is not “qualified” to govern.

    I mean, just look at the last guy the deplorables elected who challenged mainstream orthodoxy. All he did was get everything all riled up. It was quite unsettling for the mandarinate. They had a hell of a time getting rid of him.

    • PieInTheSky

      challenged mainstream orthodoxy – one would think this is not automatically a bad thing

      • UnCivilServant

        Unless you are a Mainstream Orthodox Priest.

      • Not Adahn

        THE SOCIAL SCIENCE IS SETTLED!! DENIER!!!

    • WTF

      This bullshit makes me crazy, as though women are some special elite class who deserve something above and beyond the laws already on the books designed to address illegal violence against people in general.
      The people pushing this nonsense are basically saying men can go fuck themselves, because violence against men (who are statistically the primary victims of violence) doesn’t matter.

      • waffles

        But women are some special elite class. Wouldn’t you think so just by looking at our society? Expecting equal treatment under the law is so old-fashioned and quite frankly patriarchal.

      • l0b0t

        That article, plus the video you linked the other day, make me want to move to Romania. “A Romance Nation, swimming in a sea of Slavs and Hungarian spastics.”

      • Count Potato

        spastics?

      • l0b0t

        https://youtu.be/c9vpkhhcrU8

        Romania looks absolutely gorgeous. Also, statues of Romulus and Remus gifted by Mussolini are awesome.

      • db

        A number of my GF’s classmates in grad school were Romanian. Extremely hot.

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        One set of Great grandparents were born there, part of the German Diaspora.

        My father ended up with a weird accent when he spoke it. Leder-Deutch it is called

    • Drake

      Too many people have figured out that they have been nothing but the shadow of the left for over a century.

  17. Rebel Scum

    She didn’t even make the primary season because she’s an unlikeable asshole.

    Anything less than pure adulation for Her Shrillness II is sexist and racist.

    • juris imprudent

      As unlikeable as Hillary is, she could at least win some votes. Harris couldn’t even compete in, let alone carry her home state.

      • Nephilium

        Didn’t Harris wind up with just one single lonely delegate?

      • Rebel Scum

        I thought it was 0.

      • juris imprudent

        I don’t believe so, she dropped in Dec ’19. I think she may have still been on the ballot in CA and still didn’t win a single delegate there.

      • Nephilium

        I stand corrected.

  18. Rebel Scum

    Gulf Coast’s beloved ‘Redneck Riviera’ now coronavirus hot spot

    And?

    • Nephilium

      I saw a headline float across my newsfeed this morning that was along the lines of: Poll – Unvaccinated blame the vaccinated for the rise of the Delta variant instead of themselves!

      • WTF

        They’re actually correct, but let’s not go into THOSE details.

  19. Rebel Scum

    Biden administration was warned LAST MONTH by US diplomats in Kabul of an impending Taliban ‘catastrophe’ if troops withdrew and was urged to evacuate ALL Americans starting on August 1

    This sounds familiar…

    • juris imprudent

      Are those whistles I hear being blown, or should I just say woof-woof?

  20. The Late P Brooks

    The Biden team estimates that could raise nearly $700 billion over that same period, paying for itself nine times over.

    I estimate I can make $50,000 per month as a life coach. I just need a little start-up money. Who’s in?

    • Fourscore

      Well, if it includes an exclusionary franchise, my check will be in the mail.

    • Trigger Hippie

      Happy b-day!

      • Trigger Hippie

        Heh, Brooksing a reply to db on a Brooks post.

        Classic.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    This bullshit makes me crazy, as though women are some special elite class who deserve something above and beyond the laws already on the books designed to address illegal violence against people in general.

    Women are delicate, precious, helpless flowers. That’s what Gurrrrrl Power! means.

  22. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Wow. That’s a lot of firearms and trucks.

    https://www.theepochtimes.com/mkt_morningbrief/billions-of-dollars-in-us-weapons-aircraft-likely-seized-by-taliban_3956556.html

    The Office of the Special Inspector General for Afghanistan Reconstruction, established by Congress in 2008, has said that about $83 billion was spent on developing and sustaining the Afghan police and army over two decades. Between 2003 and 2016, the United States transferred nearly 600,000 weapons, 76,000 vehicles, 163,000 communication devices, 208 aircraft, and surveillance and reconnaissance equipment to the Afghan forces, said a 2017 Government Accountability Office report.

    • juris imprudent

      Given the general level of corruption in Afghanistan, aided and abetted by our own indulgences thereof, I doubt the Taliban will get their hands on much of that. It was probably already moved out of the country for cash.

      • kbolino

        Given the level of corruption in the U.S. government, they probably got less than half of it to begin with.

      • Fourscore

        I’m waiting for those guns to come back as surplus and sold at 10%.

      • Not Adahn

        *sets up google alert*

      • db

        The guns, probably not, but the Trijicons I’ve seen? hoo boy.

        Oh, and BTW, can we please just remove all small arms and accessories from ITAR restrictions? I mean, if we’re just going to abandon shit like that in other countries controlled by our enemies, why require US firms making them to register with the DoS and restrict their export?

      • kbolino

        Oh, and BTW, can we please just remove all small arms and accessories from ITAR restrictions? I mean, if we’re just going to abandon shit like that in other countries controlled by our enemies, why require US firms making them to register with the DoS and restrict their export?

        Anarcho-tyranny is working so well at home, they figured they’d export it abroad too.

      • juris imprudent

        What? Cut out the graft? That’s just crazy talk.

      • Count Potato

        Because you live in Mexico?

    • l0b0t

      I’m having a great deal of difficulty deciding between gross incompetence and traitorous malice.

      • juris imprudent

        Think Venn.

      • Drake

        The answer is yes.

    • PieInTheSky

      the Taliban should sell those for cash to build roads and other infrastructure

      • waffles

        Hah, good one.

      • WTF

        Just like Hamas in Gaza.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Get some AKs in great condition, never fired, only dropped once.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Strange… 0 evidence of any sea level rises yet.

    That arctic ice is hiding at the bottom of the ocean.

  24. PieInTheSky

    I dislike the word transferred. Why does it have 2 rs besides making me misspell it?

    • rhywun

      You’re cancelled.

      • db

        I’m appalled.

      • Nephilium

        No love for the bookkeepers?

    • Grumbletarian

      Transferred has three ‘r’s.

      /Pedant

  25. Festus

    Going to eat my dinner from “The Cut Leaf”. How good is this going to be?

    • l0b0t

      Cut Leaf? Don’t eat the tobacco, you’ll get a bit of a tummy-ache.

      • Festus

        They do Vegan. It will be awful.

      • l0b0t

        Yeah… I can really dig vegetarian fare, but the disregarding of animal fats is a bridge too far for me.

      • Swiss Servator

        No no! It is coca leaf…he won’t feel any pain!

  26. Semi-Spartan Dad

    Someone posted an article several months back about getting the vax with no ID or other record. Does anyone remember what it was called or how to find it?

    Has anyone else gotten the vax without needing to show an ID?

    • Festus

      LIST

    • Sean

      I had read that you cant be denied the vaxx if you fail to show ID on .gov websites.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Thanks, that’s helpful. I see that now.

        I mean besides being racist to require, a lot of people around here have had their DL’s revoked.

  27. Tonio

    There are also planned bus stations along I-10 at Shepherd Drive, Studemont Street and several in downtown. But they’re also fielding options for stations at Memorial Park, T.C. Jester Boulevard, Yale Street and Houston Avenue.

    Stations. That’s trouble right there. It sounds like those walk-on/walk-off buses which sound like a really good idea until you realize they need infrastructure, stations with raised platforms, to function and thus take away many of the advantages of buses like flexibility to re-route quickly to anywhere nearby.

    • Not Adahn

      T.C. Jester

      Dude has a street AND a prison named after him.

    • Fourscore

      Could all be solved with light rail. Worked wonders in the TC. I mean, the homeless aren’t really homeless if they have a roof over their head(s) and are going some place, right?

      • Not Adahn

        Houston tried light rail downtown. It went… poorly.

      • Not Adahn

        HOUSTON — Once called the ”train to nowhere,” Houston’s new rail line between downtown and the Astrodome is earning a few new nicknames — ”Danger Train,” the ”Wham Bam Tram,” ”A Streetcar Named Disaster.”

        More than 50 collisions have occurred along the 7.5-mile route since it opened in November, most of them with cars making illegal turns across the tracks.

        Rail promoters promised the sleek, gray trains would take cars off the road — ”they’ve just done it one car at a time,” said John Gaver, who started the Wham-Bam-Tram counter, a Web site that tallies each crash.

        The MetroRail averages six crashes a month — a rate 20 times worse than the national average for the nation’s 17 light rail systems, according to the Federal Transit Administration.

      • db

        “Wham Bam Tram,”

        Sounds kinky. Kinda like Crash, except with public transportation.

      • Spartacus

        That web site made my eyes hurt.

      • Rat on a train

        The DC version is on shared lanes. There are stretches where there is street parking on the right. Streetcars have hit cars parked too far from the curb because the streetcar can’t move over.

    • Chipwooder

      Like the cursed Pulse, which would have next to no riders if they didn’t let VCU kids ride it for free, and which ruined traffic on Broad St.

  28. Festus

    Agh! My brakes are starting to grind and the parts won’t show until Monday. Fuck I hate my life. Just one thing after another. On and on and on and on…

  29. Stinky Wizzleteats

    “Women exaggerate the problem of sexism”
    You know there might be a kernel of truth there, #notallwomen and whatnot.

  30. gbob

    Complaint of the morning for me is cheap ass pop country stars.

    Last night I was ready to stop driving uber, but decided to do one last airport run. Customer texts me and says I need to find 2 members of his band and drive them an hour and 45 minutes away. Thats a long haul with no chance of finding a ride to pay for the cost back.

    One band member apologized before we began, and assured me that the singer would give me a big tip for my trouble. I’ve heard that line before, but what the hell. Perhaps he’s cooked up enough to want to pull an Elvis or something and buy me a pink caddy or something.

    Great ride with the two guys. Not comfortable since their equipment filled every square inch of my car, but still a good time.

    After spending 4 hours on that one, I crashed hard. This morning when I woke up I checked for a tip.

    Five dollars.

    A five dollar tip on 4 hours of my labor.

    Dude ain’t no Elvis, thats for sure.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Shoulda invited him home with you, he could have shot your TV and expired on your toilet.

    • PieInTheSky

      You should unionize 🙂

      5 bucks seems very stingy especially for the States. Can you refuse such trips in the future?

      • gbob

        Most drivers refuse long trips, which works to my advantage. My unicorn drive is someone who has been canceled on twice and realizes that cash up front solves that problem. Thing is, if there’s no tip, doing a long ride figures out to be under the 30 dollar an hour threshold that you need to keep things running and show a profit. (after gas, car depreciation, taxes and insurance 30/hr works out to be about 19/hr which really isn’t worth it). In this case, because it was an Uber Comfort ride, which pays slightly more, for those 6 hours of work, I walked away with a paltry 110 dollars.

        And don’t scare me with that union shit. Fuck, I know my days driving union are numbered as eventually some asshole will try to “protect” me and turn me into a fucking employee…..at which point I quit.

    • Fourscore

      I’ll need your bank account so I can make a direct deposit and surprise you.

    • Grumbletarian

      Does Uber have a way for drivers to rate passengers? I would think that might help.

      • rhywun

        Yes.

      • gbob

        There is indeed a rating. Problem is, you can only rate a rider at the point you drop them off….before you find out if they tipped or not. (perversely, riders can rate their driver days and days after the ride.)

        If you ever want to be sure you get a good rating, do what I do. I give the driver 5 bucks in cash. You may still get a ride if you rider rating is below 4.7, but there will be a lot of drivers who will reject the request/ I know that I do.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Back in the before times…when my niece and I would galavant about town, asking the Uber driver to go to different places, there was always 50% or higher tip because we didn’t just take the route they thought they were going to be doing. Deviating from your point to point takes other rides away from you, so ya, dicks.

    • WTF

      Is her name Paulina Al-Kael?

      • Not Adahn

        Bint-kael, iirc.

    • juris imprudent

      There has got to be an everydayfeminism piece to pair with that. I’ve already hit my derp-roentgen exposure limit for the week, so I’m not digging for it.

  31. Rebel Scum

    A heartwarming story.

    Polish silver medalist in Javelin throw Maria Andrejczyk, who is also a devout Catholic, sold her Olympic medal in auction to find money for the heart surgery of a Polish boy. Polish store chain Zabka won the auction, but they returned the medal back to he

    And totally would.

    • Not Adahn

      “But the little boy had already sold his organs in order to buy a chain for the medal.”

      • Tundra

        Bravo!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Stupid woman. That’s what government provided healthcare is for.

    • PieInTheSky

      thicc

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        And juicy!

  32. robc

    Sloopy did decent on baseball birthdays but I am going to hit my whole list anyway (* indicates sloopy included):

    Graig Nettles* and Todd Helton – both borderline HoF types
    Mark Langston*, Andy Benes*, Tom Brunansky
    Then lower than I normally include Kal Daniels, Fred Norman who were both key Reds players
    Then inexplicable HoFer Al Lopez*

    Benes gets special note — the first year of my fantasy league, one of our owners bid on “Andy Beans”. His name was pronounced that way the rest of his career within our league.

    • juris imprudent

      He off da plantation!

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      The skin folk but not kin folk people don’t need convincing I don’t think unless they’re trying to scare them to the polls.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Disgusting

      Racist bitch

    • Rebel Scum

      Larry Elder, noted house negro white-supremacist.

      • juris imprudent

        I totally get the leftie blacks buying that – but wouldn’t that just piss off any black person tending to be independent or conservative?

      • Ownbestenemy

        In the leftie’s mind, there are no such black persons.

      • Rat on a train

        You ain’t black if you vote Republican.

      • juris imprudent

        In a leftie’s mind there is no (or perhaps just one) color for people who are wrong.

      • db

        I wonder if it’s supposed to be a warning/threat to them. How awful.

  33. The Late P Brooks

    It’s here

    <em“This is a giant step toward the holy grail of energy research,” said Kaku, professor of theoretical physics at the City College and City University of New York. “To hit break-even, to extract more energy than you put in, and this could eventually become a game-changer.”

    The Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory announced a key achievement in nuclear fusion that it had, back on Aug. 8, been able to produce 1.3 megajoules of energy at its National Ignition Facility, albeit very briefly. Kaku told CNBC’s “The News with Shepard Smith” that the achievement was a giant step towards clean energy.

    ——-

    “It turns out that when you heat hydrogen to tens of millions of degrees Fahrenheit, the temperature of the sun, things become unstable, and that’s why this reaction took place over a hundred trillionth of a second, just a snap of the finger, so in other words, we want to have a continuous stream of energy, not bursts of energy, like we found here,” Kaku said.

    Any day now. If we could just harness the anti-energy energy of the eco-loonies, we wouldn’t need fusion or fission or anything.

    • Not Adahn

      Michio Kaku is a huckster.

      • Festus

        He has great hair.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        ???

        Not quite as bad as Tyson, but yes.

      • Count Potato

        I want to see Tyson vs. Tyson

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        You just know one would turn chicken.

      • Lord Humungus

        The crowd would just egg him on.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Asian Jimmy Page? Say it ain’t so.

      • CPRM

        But I’ve seen him talk on the TV! TV doesn’t lie!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Clickbait Physics 101 by Michio Kaku

      • db

        Kaku-less article on the topic with better info.

        Still nowhere near ignition, though.

  34. Festus

    Oh God I’m a terrible mess! Live happy lives if you can manage it. I’ve failed in that regard but the rest of you don’t have to. Just be kind.,.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      “Topless”
      Technically topless I guess…I’m kind of disappointed to be honest.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Still crazy as a molerat but still a would just to conquer that mountain.

    • Festus

      Huh. Never featured you as a fag.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      First comment:

      “All I wanted to do in the 80’s was get to the future. Now that I’m here, I just want to go back.”

      No shit.

      • Drake

        I never wanted to leave the 80s.

      • Not Adahn

        Spent a week with an old flame recently. Showed her Tapeheads. She said “It was the worst movie she’d ever seen.” I knew there was a reason we didn’t stay together.

      • Q Continuum

        “Showed her Tapeheads”

        kinky

      • Not Adahn

        Far and away John Cusak’s best performance.

    • The Gunslinger

      Nope. Hour glass curves.

  35. Q Continuum

    “only the third time in less than a decade that above-freezing temperatures were recorded at the highest point on the ice sheet.”

    ONLY the THIRD TIME in LESS THAN A DECADE??? How much less? That could mean anything. Doesn’t sound all that infrequent to me.

    MAKE GREENLAND HABITABLE AGAIN!!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It’s like commentators reciting useless baseball or football statistics during the game as if they mean anything.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      OnlyFans has chosen the Tumblr route to success: Make a mint, come under moderate pressure, and turn on your users and creators. Everybody still uses Tumblr, right?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Just the loonies

      • TARDis

        I always wonder how strip clubs and porn sites would fare if prostitution was decriminalized. I mean where would the VP be if Willie Brown could have solicited a full time professional on a regular basis without legal repercussions?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That’s actually the funniest “what if” question I’ve heard in a while.

      • Not Adahn

        Considering strip clubs and hostess bars exist in Japan which has pinsaro and “health clubs,” they’d probably do just fine.

      • TARDis

        That makes no sense to me. You can get serviced for 5000 Yen, but pay someone to strip? I guess I’m cheap. The most Kamala would have got of me was dinner and a movie.

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        One is cheating on your wife, one isn’t.

        As for Kamalama ding-dong, I am guessing she would get just the tip from dinner.

      • TARDis

        I guess I was looking at it from an unattached dude’s perspective.

  36. The Late P Brooks

    Have some vapid self-serving nonsense…

    Facebook announced plans Thursday to restore more water than it consumes by the year 2030, the company’s latest initiative targeting climate change.

    The company mostly uses water for cooling the banks of computers that run in its data centers. In 2020, Facebook said, it withdrew 3.7 million cubic meters of water — a volume equivalent to nearly 1,500 Olympic-size swimming pools — or a total consumption of 2.2 million cubic meters.

    Facebook intends to focus its efforts in regions where it uses local water resources, but it will also look at high-risk areas that face the most challenges in terms of their water supply, said Sylvia Lee, sustainability water lead at Facebook.

    “If you look at the biggest impact as a result of climate change — some of the really big ones like wildfires, droughts, floods — at the end of the day, it’s actually all tied to water,” Lee said in an interview.

    ——-

    “When we focus on water restoration, we focus on projects that go into the same watershed that we’re a part of,” Lee said.

    The company plans to verify its water restoration efforts through LimnoTech, a sustainability consulting firm. Facebook will update the public on its efforts through annual sustainability reports.

    Earlier this year, Facebook announced it has reached net-zero emissions and that it’s now 100% reliant on renewable energy. In September 2020, the company set a goal to become net zero throughout its entire supply chain by 2030.

    That water has been destroyed in the process. It can never be used for anything again. But Zuck will find a way to recycle it, because it is his duty as a citizen of the world.

    • Drake

      Why do they want to raise the sea level?

    • WTF

      Only the left would worry about something that literally falls from the sky and never really gets destroyed.

  37. ignoreLander

    Does every large city have a Galleria?

    • waffles

      Yeah it’s a law or something.

    • robc

      Louisville Galleria was the last in a series of failures of what to do with 4th street downtown.

      It was replaced with “Fourth Street Live” which I expected to fail immediately but seems to have somewhat succeeded. At least in not immediately falling over dead.

      • EvilSheldon

        If 4th Street Live is still around, it can call itself a success. I remember going there back in 2008 when the Fraiser Museum was going in…

      • robc

        Yes, it is still going. I looked at list of bars/restaurants and there isn’t one that would have caused me to drive downtown back when I lived there. It is surviving off of convention goers and tourists. Which I guess was the point. The downtown restaurant scene was pretty dead at night prior to it going in. At least in very close walking range of the major hotels/convention center.

      • db

        I visited the Frasier Arms Museum years ago with some friends while we were in town for the Knob Creek show/shoot. I thought it was very educational.

        Looks like there is another Frasier Museum there now? Is that associated with the Arms Museum?

    • Nephilium

      And some not-so-large cities.

      Of course, that one has only a handful of tenants left, and made the news in the late 90’s for suing a store that was closing (due to bankruptcy) for violating the terms of their lease.

      • waffles

        I like dead shopping malls. I used to work at an office right next to one. I would get 5 dollar food court teriyaki chicken at least twice a week. I miss it.

      • Q Continuum

        There are so many places to have public sex in those places.

      • waffles

        It was the mall from the original dawn of the dead, and yes.

      • db

        Monroeville Mall?

      • waffles

        Yeah, when the boscov’s went out of business I bought one of their mannequins and donated it to my old frat.

      • Nephilium

        I think the only tenant still there is the Winking Lizard, which has already announced plans to move across the street to a new office building. I’m not even sure if they reopened after they got looted last year (and all of the glassware smashed) during the mostly peaceful protests.

        There’s also Tower City which was a combination mall and office building that’s nearly empty now. They have a walkway connection to the casino, as well as an RTA (CLE light rail system) station that serves as a hub.

        The abandoned malls out in the suburbs keep getting converted into Amazon distribution centers

      • Pope Jimbo

        The only problem with a dead shopping mall is that local govt’s are regularly fleeced to redevelop them. “This time it will work!”

      • robc

        Cleveland isnt a large city?

        When did that happen? I was counting Louisville, so Cleveland clearly counts.

      • Nephilium

        Self depreciating humor, and the fact that the city lost about 6% of it’s population between the 2010 census and the 2020 census. The county stayed relatively stable, so it’s all the people fleeing the city proper.

    • Rat on a train

      Some places went the Towne Centre route.

    • Animal

      We actually overheard some lady in the gas station the other day bemoaning the lack of a mall.

      A mall. In Willow, Alaska.

      Turns out she and her hubbie came up from New Mexico, bought some land in the burnt-over country north of Hatcher Pass road (sight unseen) and are having a house built. She was complaining about the lack of shopping areas. “Where do you buy your clothes?” she asked the girl at the deli counter.

      “Walmart in Wasilla, or in Anchorage, or mail order,” the girl replied.

      The lady walked out shaking her head. They won’t last through their first winter.

      • Not Adahn

        Buy? Oh, I guess if you’re unsuccessful in your seal hunt I can give you the address of a Tlingit seamstress that might have extra hides available.

      • Rat on a train

        You must have a Trader Joe’s. Please tell me there is an Apple store!

      • Animal

        Well, we have the hardware store, Ron’s Chinook deli, and they do sell t-shirts and sweatshirts at the Townsite Food Mart (part of the aforementioned gas station).

      • Gustave Lytton

        ?‍♂️

        Who buys clothes at the mall these days anyways? My wife just orders the clothes she wants from whatever labels she likes, tries them on, keeps them if she likes it, and sends it back. Been doing it for years. I can’t remember the last time I specifically bought a piece of clothing. Maybe last winter? I’ve got this device called a washing machine so I can wear something more than once.

      • Animal

        I buy almost all my outerwear from Duluth Trading anyway, all online.

      • db

        You don’t say?

      • Animal

        No time for cheap hotel jeans here.

      • Lord Humungus

        I buy from SportsDirect, a UK company that carries Lonsdale, Firetrap, and Everlast products.

        I also order from Armani Exchange since I like their pop art t-shirts, though they are pricey at $20ea (when on sale) they fit well and are made to last.

        Jeans: I prefer Levi’s 501s but also have some cheap “Amazon Essentials” denim that is well, okay, though fitted for more a dad bod.

  38. Pope Jimbo

    The heir apparent isn’t very popular.

    Given her polls and the stories about voters’ remorse, I’d say that the heir apparent is going to get stomped in 2024 by the Hair apparent

    • db

      I sincerely hope Trump has the smarts to not run, and maybe endorse a DeSantis/Paul ticket or something. Although I’d hate to lose Rand Paul in the Senate, and I’m not so sure DeSantis is someone I’d want to vote for.

      • Q Continuum

        At this point, I’d vote for a potato over whoever the Jackasses put up. The Pachyderms may be corrupt and cowardly, but they are not the ones wrecking energy independence, erasing the border, hanging Taiwan out to dry and burning down cities. At this point it’s no longer a giant douche and a turd sandwich, it’s a giant douche and a cyanide sandwich.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I suspect he will although I wish he wouldn’t. He’s motivated by revenge at this point and he loves affirmation and getting elected again would give those to him. Hopefully he’ll realize he’s just too damn old.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Noem?

        I realize she’s bad on drugs and transgender rights, but she did do great on lockdowns.

        Just as a fuck you to Hilary, it would be sweet if the first female president was a GOP-er from Bumfuck flyover country.

      • db

        I always thought Berke Breathed was right and that the first Black President would be a conservative, but that didn’t happen either.

      • Q Continuum

        According to the Commies, he was.

      • kinnath

        Obama was half white.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Hence why he failed, obviously.

    • EvilSheldon

      Seriously. I’m thinking that there are a lot of things you two could explore beyond showering together and giving each other massages…

      Or, maybe your boyfriend just can’t resist the dick. It happens.

      • Not Adahn

        Trans gfs never fake orgasms.

  39. Chipwooder

    Regarding the Gulf Coast story…..what they leave out is that South Baldwin Regional is a tiny hospital. Had to take my wife there once. If they have more than 10 ICU beds to begin with, I’d be shocked.

  40. Rebel Scum

    Look at how that is going…

    One year ago, @KamalaHarris accepted the nomination for vice president of the United States. A look back

  41. Q Continuum

    If only there were other platforms on which to post porn?! There is simply no other porn on the internet at all!!

    https://www.dailystar.co.uk/real-life/adult-star-lena-plug-feels-24799979

    DailyStar must have an ownership stake in OnlyFans considering that they have one of these “Destitute schizophrenic mum goes from eating garbage to making 20 gajillion pounds per week on OnlyFans!” stories every single day.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Based on the pictures I’ve seen, OnlyFans content producers must have been keeping an entire army of plastic surgeons in business.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Who are these people who pay for pr0n?

      I’m sure they are also the same people who are convinced the stripper is really into them.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        The kind of people that send Nigerian princes their SSNs.

      • Swiss Servator

        The fools! I will laugh at them from my mansion, as soon as Dr. Zhang, Banking Minister of Hong Kong sends my remittance of USD $9, 128, 931.20

  42. Rebel Scum

    What?

    In what may be a sign of a future federal lawsuit brought by Biden administration the Justice Department is weighing in on a state-level court challenge to Missouri’s new Second Amendment Preservation Act. The lawsuit, originally filed by St. Louis County, seeks to overturn the new measure signed into law earlier this year by Gov. Mike Parson, alleging that the provision blocking local and state law enforcement from assisting federal agencies in enforcing federal gun control laws is a violation of the Constitution’s Supremacy Clause.

    The DOJ, not surprisingly, agrees with anti-gun politicians who’ve filed suit against the state. In a new “statement of interest” brief filed in response to the lawsuit, the Justice Department echoes the claims of St. Louis Mayor Tishaura Jones and St. Louis County Executive Sam Page.

    The Missouri law, known as HB85, “has caused, and will continue to cause, significant harms to law enforcement within the State of Missouri,” wrote Brian M. Boynton, the acting head of the Justice Department’s civil division, along with the two top federal prosecutors in the state.

    “HB85 undermines law enforcement activities in Missouri, including valuable partnerships federal agencies have developed with state and local jurisdictions,” they added. “It is also plainly unconstitutional under the Supremacy Clause.”

    Um…Idk how to ask this…but are you not familiar with the first ten amendments to the Constitution, maybe one or two in particular?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Be interesting to see how they square that argument with the laws that prohibit local and state law enforcement from cooperating with the Feds on immigration enforcement.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        That’s different you bigot.

    • Ownbestenemy

      How else will we institute NZ or Aussie type lockdowns when these uppity states think they can be soverign?

    • Gustave Lytton

      So state and local law enforcement agencies are sovereign independent entities? Whoever files that crap should be disbarred.

      Also, look forward to similar lawsuits against sanctuary states.

      • Q Continuum

        I’d hit that.

      • Fourscore

        Never heard that definition of skimpy before.

        Looks more like “Bikinis by the Yard” sale. That’s what we used to call a “hug and bunch” girl, what Croce called a winter time girl.

      • kinnath

        Hugging and chalking {as my father used to say}

    • Q Continuum

      And BTW: Fuck Hawaii sideways with splintered balsa wood.

      There are tropical paradises a lot closer to the mainland that aren’t Nazi police states.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I was going to ask how they got caught, but….

      “They also had fake cards for their two children who are both under too young to be given any jab that has been approved for use in the US.”

      Stupid is as stupid does.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I’m interested in what Hawaii’s legal foundation is in demanding proof of vaccine from visitors.

      Does that mean that Minnesoda could put checkpoints up on I-94 and administer literacy tests to the NoDaks and Sconnies??

      • Q Continuum

        Why test them when you know they’ll fail?

      • Pope Jimbo

        For the laughs.

        Watching MikeS try to read something that was printed using the wingdingz font is just too funny.

      • MikeS

        I’m bummed. I wanted to say “fuck you” with webdings font, but WordPress doesn’t recognize the font, I guess.

        

      • MikeS

        And not because of poking fun at me, but for lumping NoDaks in with those degen Sconnies.

      • Pope Jimbo

        It is actually good to see you back again Mike.

        See you at the HH!

  43. Count Potato

    “The late night comedy scene has a new king of laughs, with Greg Gutfeld’s Gutfeld! unseating Stephen Colbert’s The Late Show in total viewership.

    Fox News’ right-leaning Gutfeld! also attracted the most pairs of eyes in the sought-after 25 to 54 age demographic category.

    The network’s gamble to compete with the likes of CBS’s Late Show and the Tonight Show With Jimmy Kimmel might have seemed risky, but viewership indicates the gamble is paying off.

    Tuesday’s episode of Gutfeld!, which aired 11pm EST, drew in about 2.12 million viewers, with about 434,000 people belonging to the key age demographic.

    Colbert’s 11.35pm audience of about 1.9 million placed a not-so-distant second, drawing in 423,000 people in the target demographic.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9910213/Fox-News-Gutfeld-scores-220-000-viewers-Colberts-Late-Show.html

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      People watch Colbert?

      • db

        Who?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        He was pretty funny back in aught five.

      • l0b0t

        Strangers With Candy will always be a favorite for me.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Forgot about that one.

    • Animal

      Could it be that the political right is now the counterculture for twenty-somethings?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        How could it not be? In order to go too far to the left to be counterculture, you have to be fully onboard with voluntary human extinction and that may not be far enough.

      • rhywun

        It doesn’t hurt that the Gutfeld show is actually funny. All his competitors are sanctimonious whiners and hence not funny.

    • wdalasio

      To be fair, Gutfeld! has a unified market while the others have a split market. I mean, really, Colbert, Kimmel and Fallon are nearly indistinguishable from one another. The only conceivable difference between them is who might happen to be the guest on a particular night. CNN & PMSNBC? Again, who can really tell the difference.

      • Ownbestenemy

        One of those used to enjoy bawdy humor and chicks on trampolines. That is the only difference.

      • robc

        Adam Carolla is the best think to ever happen to Kimmel.

  44. The Late P Brooks

    BUILD THE WALL

    It took hours of negotiations and at least three law enforcement agencies — the U.S. Capitol Police, the F.B.I. and the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives — to safely persuade Floyd Ray Roseberry to stop ranting about a “revolution” and turn himself over to authorities.

    But the ease with which Roseberry gained such close access to the sidewalk next to the Library of Congress’ Thomas Jefferson building, which is itself very near the U.S. Capitol and the Supreme Court, raises new questions about the security of nation’s most important symbols of democracy just seven months after the rioting and deadly violence of the Jan. 6 insurrection.

    Malcolm Nance, a former Naval intelligence and counter terrorism officer, says Roseberry would never have gotten close to the the Capitol complex had authorities moved to erect a permanent fence around the perimeter, as it’s been debating for years.

    “It should have happened long ago,” Nance tells NPR. He says it shouldn’t be a question of if a permanent barrier should be built, but when.

    There was a protective fence built around the Capitol after the siege, but it was taken down last month. Similarly, an outer perimeter fence was removed in March. Capitol Police explained it would monitor intelligence for any threats to the complex and that the temporary fence could be reinstalled if needed.

    Nance disagrees with that approach. Based on his ongoing monitoring of far-right radicalized groups throughout the country, he believes more bomb threats and other violence targeting symbolic institutions are inevitable.

    There is a looming “insurgency where this is going to happen a lot only, there’s a lot of potential for it not to be threats,” he says.

    He maintains that the only way to effectively protect lawmakers and civil servants in and around the Capitol complex is to use the same type of defensive military tactics the U.S. applies in fighting terrorism around the world.

    Our noble selfless public servants need their very own green Zone the our nation’s capitol.

    We wouldn’t want them to face any consequences for their ongoing destruction of the things which once made this the freest and richest place on earth.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Green Zone doesn’t test well.

      Why not refer to it as Panem? And if you don’t have the proper credentials you have to go back to the District from which you came.

    • rhywun

      Pathetic.

      Do it. Let DC become a shining beacon to the world of a ruling class utterly terrified of its subjects.

    • Rebel Scum

      But the ease with which Roseberry gained such close access to the sidewalk next to the Library of Congress

      It’s a sidewalk…adjacent to a road…which he drove his large truck onto…

      There was a protective fence built around the Capitol after the siege

      What siege?

      use the same type of defensive military tactics the U.S. applies in fighting terrorism around the world.

      A hallmark of Democracy.

      • Q Continuum

        I figured this was the plan all along: withdraw from Afghanistan to focus on “domestic terrorists”; y’know shitposters making memes. Maybe the supreme embarrassment of the withdrawal will put a kink in the plan.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I have heard that floated in several different political circles

    • wdalasio

      I’m all for the wall. Just put very severe restrictions on who you let out.

    • juris imprudent

      important symbols of democracy

      Symbols? We’re talking the fucking TEMPLE!!!

  45. Tundra

    Good morning, Sloop!

    You are correct. That is truly a great song!

    Man, the Fail has been dunking hard on Biden and his clowns the last few days. Even the journos running interference don’t seem to have their hearts in it. Although, even the most retarded Columbia graduate can see that yanking the military before getting citizens, partners and equipment out is indefensible.

    Newsflash: they’re over your bullshit.

    Yep, my son flew back last night and told me the FAs went through the motions but did absolutely no mask enforcement.

    Have a great day, y’all!

  46. Tulip

    I don’t remember any foreign government holding Trump in contempt.

    • The Other Kevin

      Nope. The press talked endlessly about how other countries saw Trump as a buffoon. But they never openly laughed at him while he wandered around at dinner, or formally censored him.

      I know people have a short attention span, but I think all this is happening way too quick to rely on that. Biden is in big trouble.

  47. Rebel Scum

    I’m calling a lid.

    In what appears to be a continuation of his campaign bunker strategy, and following his widely panned interview with ABC News on the stunning fall of Afghanistan, President Biden’s schedule Thursday contained no planned public remarks or press briefings.

    The president took all public remarks, press briefings and press conferences off his schedule as he and his administration deal with the blowback from their botched troop withdrawal that saw Kabul fall into the hands of the Taliban. …

    The president’s decision to nix his media obligations on Thursday also coincides with Vice President Harris’ trip to Vietnam amid the Afghanistan crisis — which some critics have compared to the 1975 fall of Saigon.

    Harris’ office has defended the vice president’s trip, saying America has many “interests” worldwide.

    Most. Transparent. Admin. Evar.

    But I do wonder what interests the US VP has in Vietnam.

    • db

      Man, what a bummer of a vacation. Poor guy barely even got any ice cream; cut him some slack.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I wonder if it really so much a bunker as it is a dungeon?

      Bunker means he’s there voluntarily. I think the cabal pulling the strings tossed him in there and locked the door. Thank doG the one time he got free he ran into loyalist George Stephanopolous who was kind enough to return him mostly undamaged.

      Think of the disaster if he had run into Tucker!

    • Ownbestenemy

      To bolster her executive chops

      • Ownbestenemy

        Mainly, handlers need her front and center on things not the border or Afghanistan.

      • Fourscore

        Obviously she is in charge of the foreign exodus as well as the domestic incodus. Helluva job,, Kammie!

      • Gustave Lytton

        Countering Chinese influence in the region also.

  48. l0b0t

    You mean to tell me there was FedGov involvement/malfeasance in the MAGA Supersoldiers kidnap the Guv plot? Bosh! Flimshaw!

    https://youtu.be/aGrUtAKH3Ck

  49. Q Continuum

    RE: Greenland again.

    From Wiki:

    “On July 6, 2017 the site recorded the lowest temperature in the northern hemisphere for the month of July at −33 °C (−27 °F).[8][9] On August 14, 2021, it rained throughout the entire day at the Summit Camp, marking the first time since recordkeeping began (2008) that rain had fallen in liquid form at Greenland’s glacial summit.[10]”

    ERMAHGERD! Global warming climate change KLYMUTT DETH ORGY caused both the lowest temp recorded and then RAIN within a few years of each other!!!! RUN!!!! WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!

    • waffles

      Climate Death Orgy sounds kinda based. We’re all gonna die.

    • rhywun

      since recordkeeping began (2008)

      LOL.

      Never change, Wikipedia.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Too bad the Vikings didn’t set up a weather station there back when they set up camp there.

      Of course, they probably did but suppressed the clear evidence of Climate Change. Leif Erickson is a DENIER! Cancel him!

      • Not Adahn

        Yup. It was destroyed along with the record of their ruling line of LGBTIQQ quings.

  50. Rebel Scum

    Clown world.

    Boris Johnson has suggested a new government in Afghanistan could be recognised internationally if the Taliban upholds “internationally agreed standards on human rights and inclusivity”.

    The prime minister “underlined” in a phone call with his Pakistani counterpart Imran Khan that any move to recognise a Taliban government must “happen on an international, not unilateral basis”, a Downing Street spokesman said.

    But he suggested there could be a way for the Taliban to win recognition from the international community.

    “He said any legitimacy of any future Taliban government will be subject to them upholding internationally agreed standards on human rights and inclusivity,” according to a Downing Street statement released following the call.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That’s actually hilarious.

      The standard for being recognized is adhering to our wholly postmodern international standards on “inclusivity” that change on an almost daily basis.

      You can’t make this shit up.

      • Q Continuum

        Standards that would get you murdered if you even suggested using if you were within Taliban-controlled territory.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Woke doesn’t play well in most places outside the Anglosphere and Western Europe.

      • Drake

        This.

        Please show us that agreement.

      • Not Adahn

        It’s right over there, filed with the copy of the social contract.

    • Not Adahn

      Do the Pakistanis make the jackoff motion when they receive such phone calls?

    • db

      Why would they care if they’re viewed as legitimate by western nations? They have no industry that needs to trade with much of the rest of the world. Their main national product is illegal everywhere on the planet, and yet still has universal distribution. They don’t want to be a “member of the international community.”

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        This is more about legitimizing the UK’s inevitable negotiations with them than it is about legitimizing the Taliban.

      • Rebel Scum

        ^

      • db

        That makes perfect sense now.

      • Not Adahn

        I hard a UK ambassador say “Traditionally, we recognise states, not governments.”

      • db

        But I guess the question of whether the Taliban cares to negotiate with the UK about anything still exists.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Probably need to provide your International Community ID # when receiving foreign aid.

        (Of course, they are going to get foreign aid, don’t be stupid. In fact, I’m sure the US will send them a couple billion to get Kabul U’s Women’s Studies program fully funded)

  51. The Late P Brooks

    Antiquated patchwork

    Oklahoma’s struggle is America’s. The CDC relies on states to identify and monitor viral outbreaks that, if uncontrolled, can kill thousands of people. But the coronavirus exposed a patchwork system in which state officials struggled to control the spread of Covid-19 because their outdated surveillance systems did not allow them to collect and analyze data in real-time, according to a six-month POLITICO investigation that included interviews with four dozen health officials in 25 states and more than a dozen current and former officials at the CDC and other federal health agencies.

    Covid-19 revealed this cobbled-together system’s inability to accurately detect when and where the virus was spreading so public health officials could intervene. Those fissures now loom even larger as the Delta variant makes the quick identification of outbreaks and clusters even more crucial to containing the virus.

    A sense of surrender was common throughout the pandemic. Faced with underfunded and understaffed health departments, many state officials said they were not able to adequately identify and contain outbreaks during surge periods. At many junctures, states had no choice but to ask Covid-positive individuals to conduct their own contact tracing.

    ——-

    In a statement to POLITICO, CDC Director Rochelle Walensky acknowledged that the country’s “public health infrastructure has been neglected for a long time.”

    “America depends on public health data that are both fast and right,” Walensky said. “To understand what is happening nationally, we first must have rich information locally, which is why CDC and our partners are implementing solutions that speed the flow of accurate health data.”

    I think we all agree the CDC needs vastly expanded police powers to identify and forcibly quarantine threats to public health en masse. Extrajudicial coercion is essential to robust health expertism.

    • Rebel Scum

      viral outbreaks that, if uncontrolled, can kill thousands of people

      *yawn*

      It’s a flu. Take extra vitamin C and D.

    • CPRM

      It’s for the children! If it saves just ONE life! Just shut up and do it! Follow the Science!

    • WTF

      Never in human history has a respiratory virus been contained. But we know we can do it the next time if we just take away all your freedom and privacy.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The public health tyrants think they’ve found their opportunity, their golden moment to shine and take the power that rightfully belongs to them as the enlightened ones who truly care for the welfare of all.

      • MikeS

        ^This^

    • Nephilium

      Along with border checkpoints, internal passports, and everything else we need to keep us safe.

    • Ozymandias

      I’m going to go full-blown tinfoil hat right here:

      This will be the beginning of a steady drip of stories like this – about “timely and accurate health information.” Which is weird, because it’s like, what the fuck does that even mean? What could it possibly entail?
      Someone who appears to be otherwise sane and rational has told me straight-faced that one of the current vaccines contains lipid nanoparticles that can be “scanned” using some kind of device (I have no idea, I didn’t ask). That’s why the fedgov is pushing it so hard on EVERYONE. Because once you’ve gotten it, now it’s simply a matter of having scanners in public locations and you can be tracked. I do not find that anywhere near as implausible as I once would have.
      Although my thought is always, “everyone has a cell phone voluntarily and listening devices in their homes on a subscription plan already.” To quote one of Our Great Leaders, “at this point, what difference does it make?”

      • Pope Jimbo

        Ozy, if you are looking for a silver lining not made of tinfoil, read my comment below.

        The flaw in our ruling class’s plan to rule over us is that they need to rely on govt workers. Those lazy fucks would happily put on traincars to the camps, but not if it meant working past 5pm (3:30 on a Friday).

      • kinnath

        Redundant, dissimilar technologies. Best engineering solution to guarantee availability and integrity of data.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Nah, the LNP is to envelop and preserve the mRNA so it can be delivered to the cells.

        The problem with it is LNP passes freely thru just about every tissue in the body. Which is why you’re getting spike proteins in the ovaries, in bone marrow, in endothelial cells all over the place.

        It should be noted that when the EUA was approved, this behavior was not part of the deal. It was sold on the premise that the shot would stay in the shoulder like other vaccines.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Also, lipid nanoparticle is just a fancy way of saying tiny globule of fat. Your body will absorb it fairly quickly unless it’s a really long-chain fat and in that case it may hang around like cholesterol for a while.

      • Chipwooder

        Would explain why it’s hard to find the J&J vaccine. When we were ordered to get the shot at work, that’s the one I chose because I don’t trust mRNA. There was literally nowhere in town that offered it – I had to drive an hour away to Williamsburg where there was precisely one Rite Aid giving it.

    • Pope Jimbo

      BULL FUCKING SHIT!

      Personal story time.

      Back in the early 2010’s, I worked on a project to add telemetry to a machine that did flu testing. The company that made the testing equipment wanted to add a module that would automatically send the results (anonymized testee) to state health departments and the CDC.

      The process then was that after a day’s testing, it would print out results on a roll of paper. Then someone would retype those results into a spread sheet and email to someone at the state health dept. Then some govt drone there would retype all those results from the email into their system. At some point the state system would spit out a paper report which would be emailed to the CDC. At the CDC someone would retype all that info into their system.

      The whole process took six weeks or so if everything went perfect. Usually it was closer to 10 weeks. The guys selling the equipment told us that the lag time wasn’t a big deal to anyone at the state or CDC because they didn’t use the info to respond to current outbreaks. They just used that data for tracking historical trends.

      It was actually a pretty easy project. Adding a cellular modem and a board to send that data to the state and CDC wasn’t all that complicated. The CDC even had a rest endpoint to accept the data directly. Still had to email the results to the state, but at least it was all of them and accurate.

      Did the pilot and it went no where. The state and the CDC didn’t really like it because it didn’t follow the old process. The equipment manufacturer finally gave up because no one wanted to buy the equipment because it cost a bit more and the downstream partners bitched about it.

      The real sticking point is that the govt has all sorts of people doing stupid work like retyping stuff. Worse, the govt drones are so stupid they think that just because technology made their jobs obsolete, it would mean they’d get fired.

      The mftr rep and I would joke about the secret to being successful would be to educate the govt drones that this meant that they wouldn’t even have to do the 1 hour of work they did every day. It would be 8 hours of uninterupted bliss.

      • juris imprudent

        One thing American bureaucracy lacks is German efficiency.

    • Akira

      CDC Director Rochelle Walensky acknowledged that the country’s “public health infrastructure has been neglected for a long time.”

      Maybe they shouldn’t have wasted time and money on “research” for gun violence, obesity, cigarette smoking, climate change, and other things that have nothing to do with infectious disease.

      (Not that they would have done a good job then, but you don’t get to complain that you don’t have the resources to do your primary job when you’re expending resources on new jobs that you made up for yourself)

      • Lord Humungus

        Is there ever enough money for utopia?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Add to that list bicycle safety and teenage date rape.

  52. Rebel Scum

    Meanwhile in the USSA…

    Agents from the Federal Bureau of Investigation, (FBI) raided a farm near Covington, Ga., looking for a husband-and-wife team accused of walking into the Capitol on January 6. The couple insists they didn’t enter the building and claims the FBI aimed a gun with a laser sight at their 11-year-old daughter. Forty FBI agents, reportedly arriving in four armored vehicles, moved in on the family’s farm at 7 a.m. on August 10.

    Donnie Hyatt claims he was driving down his long driveway when the FBI moved in. “They had my 11-year-old daughter at gunpoint” Hyatt told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. He claims his daughter had laser sights trained on her and the girl “is pretty shaken” by the whole thing. “She still shakes when she talks about it.” …

    Hyatt and his wife are associated with Chris Hill, the leader of a far-right militia group called the “111% Security Force.” Hyatt claims he knows Hill on a personal level, and that his wife speak with him frequently, but insists they are not members of the group.

    Those who oppose the regime will be dealt with accordingly.

    • Sean

      Those who oppose the regime will be dealt with accordingly.

      Just like the Taliban.

    • Q Continuum

      Four armored vehicles?

      WTF? Fucking gestapo.

      • Q Continuum

        Further:

        “Hyatt and his wife are associated with Chris Hill”

        Since when is being associated with someone a crime? Beyond that, since when is creating a group, far-right militia or otherwise, a crime in and of itself?

      • Gustave Lytton

        *puts Q on yet another list*

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Compare and contrast with the treatment of people who have actually firebombed federal buildings.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      I guess the FBI has all of the kidnapping, organized crime, and crossing state lines with a woman for immoral reasons taken care of, good to know.

    • Not Adahn

      111%

      *facepalms*

      • KSuellington

        The other group was only giving 110%

        These guys go up to 111.

      • juris imprudent

        III/M ???

      • juris imprudent

        oops III/C

    • wdalasio

      Anyone who thinks an all-powerful federal government is a threat to the liberty of the individual is clearly a far-right extremist. And we’re going to point guns with laser sights on their eleven-year-old daughter to prove to them how wildly unfounded their concerns are!

      • Q Continuum

        The subtext being: toe the line or we’ll kill your family.

        Isn’t there some country in or around the Korean Peninsula that operates in a similar fashion?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      So far, they’re chasing down the blowhard idiots and trumping up charges to make examples of them just like they would in the old Soviet states.

      They have to know that the people for them to be actually afraid of aren’t publicizing themselves.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Even if it is all thrown out in court, the propaganda, chilling of speech and rights is the goal here.

      • Q Continuum

        That, as well as trying to provoke legitimate lunatics into carrying out legitimate terrorist attacks so they can further justify crackdowns on the population.

  53. Rebel Scum

    Convid theater spreads convid.

    Linsey Marr, professor of civil and environmental engineering at Virginia Tech, said the presence of plastic barriers in classrooms would create aerosol traps that increase viral transmissions.

    “If you have a forest of barriers in a classroom, it’s going to interfere with proper ventilation of that room,” said professor Marr. “Everybody’s aerosols are going to be trapped and stuck there and building up, and they will end up spreading beyond your own desk.”

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      At least someone is stating the obvious now.

    • KSuellington

      Hmm, better to make those barriers out of cloth and then put them right in front of your mouth and nose. That should stop those pesky viruses from spreading.

      • juris imprudent

        Close – the barriers still need to be plastic, but a soft, pliable plastic – firmly fitted over nose and mouth.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Thing is, those have been questioned since last year and now I cannot find the article. I despise our media, all of them, for deciding when a story will be a story.

  54. KSuellington

    Well, it looks like Team Newsom has instructed the media that the new tactic is to go after Larry Elder. All of the legacy outfits are now pushing the “bombshell” allegation that, try not to be shocked, Larry smoked marijuana. Yes, marijuana, also known as the Devil’s Lettuce. Not only did he do this, but he then checked a handgun in his bedside table to see if it was loaded, and he did this in front of an ex girlfriend. This is not okay. The recall is a matter of life and death and only voting against Newsom means death, while high.

    • Q Continuum

      That’s pretty weak stuff in a state that has legalized it. If that’s the worst their oppo research can come up with, Newsom is in trouble.

      • Ownbestenemy

        To us it is weak stuff. There are mushed brained idiots who still vote and to them, this is all they need to hear.

    • KSuellington

      Yeah, I thought the “this recall election is a life and death matter” were desperate. They are really scared that their vote counting operation may not be successful. I still think it is a 60/40 chance that Greasy Gav survives the recall, even with the polls showing it almost a dead heat. They know that the Dems are pretty apathetic about this one. I expect we will get a few more “bombshells” like this in the next three weeks.

    • db

      RELEASE HIS 4473s! THE PUBLIC NEEDS TO KNOW!

    • Ownbestenemy

      All his peeps from South Central and who went to school with him at Crenshaw High are scratching their heads at that I bet…

      • KSuellington

        This shit is actually pretty hilarious. The ex also claims Larry said he was the one who introduced Snoop Dogg to weed. Somehow this is supposed to dissuade people from voting for him.

        “I introduced him to the evil weed. … I taught him everything he knows. … I’m the one who made him what he is. I can’t believe he turned his back on me, m———–,” Elder is quoted as saying.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Bwahaha. The kid busted with cocaine in junior high and ran with the Crips out in Long Beach was introduced weed by Elder? hahahahaha

      • Gustave Lytton

        He’s gonna lock up the Martha Stewart vote.

  55. The Late P Brooks

    For decades, scientists warned that a pandemic would one day wreak havoc on global populations, potentially killing hundreds of thousands of people. The global health community needed to prepare, these scientists said.

    In a medical journal published in 1988, Joshua Lederberg, the Nobel prize winner in physiology and medicine in 1958 and president of The Rockefeller University, wrote that after the emergence of AIDS, the world “will face similar catastrophes again.”

    “We have too many illusions that we can, by writ, govern the remaining vital kingdoms, the microbes, that remain our competitors of last resort for dominion of the planet,” Lederberg wrote. “The bacteria and viruses know nothing of national sovereignties.”

    Since then, outbreaks have come at almost regular intervals: Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS) in 2003; the swine flu, also known as H1N1, in 2009; the Middle East Respiratory Syndrome (MERS) in 2012; and Ebola in 2014. With each came renewed demands from public-health leaders to implement surveillance systems that could help contain disease and save more lives.

    Despite those pleas, the United States did not commit the funding or organizational resources necessary to fight a pandemic like Covid-19.

    In interviews, current and former health officials in dozens of states attributed their struggles to decades of underfunding on both the federal and state level. And, they said, despite repeatedly asking the federal government for additional resources to improve their data systems to prepare for an infectious disease epidemic, public health departments were largely left to fend for themselves.

    Of course they did.

    And- bizarrely enough, despite the unceasing parade of existential-threat pandemics, the human race manages to cling, however tenuously, to continued existence. It’s baffling. What a disappointment to the doomsday cultists.

    • Rebel Scum

      scientists warned that a pandemic would one day wreak havoc on global populations

      But so far all we have is a scam/plan/fear/”case”-demic.

      • rhywun

        And by god, they’re going to make sure that “havoc” happens.

    • Ownbestenemy

      “…potentially killing hundreds of thousands of people” Uh…oh that is right, the medical research and data collection of deaths from disease started in Jan 2020.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Well funding gain of function research is a type of preparation isn’t it?

      If I was a journalo who was allowed to ask these clowns questions, that is certainly one I’d use:

      “So if you had more funding and resources, how could we be sure you wouldn’t be conducting experiments that might lead directly to pandemics?”

  56. Rebel Scum

    Tolerance and inclusivity. . .

    Taliban teams are going door-to-door across Afghanistan looking for people who either worked for NATO forces or the former national government, a U.N. report outlined Friday.

    A confidential document by RHIPTO Norwegian Center for Global Analyses, a group sourcing intelligence for the U.N., cautioned the Taliban were now targeting “collaborators.”

    Christian Nellemann, who led the team behind the report, told the BBC: “There are a high number of individuals that are currently being targeted by the Taliban and the threat is crystal clear.

    “It is in writing that, unless they give themselves in, the Taliban will arrest and prosecute, interrogate and punish family members on behalf of those individuals.”

      • Gustave Lytton

        That should be nailed to the foreheads of all these companies and businesses going all in on vaccine mandates to work or shop.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        An estimated 6,000 executions were carried out before France was liberated, and another 4,000 occurred after the country was freed. The pursuits were carried out by both individuals and organizations. Nazi-hunting groups were established, tasked with gathering information and tracking down the suspected Nazi supporters. Civilians helped the authorities by providing information about suspects they had seen and recognized. Many women who were suspected of having romantic relations with German soldiers, or were prostitutes that provided their services to the enemy, were punished and humiliated by having their heads shaved publicly. People who profited during the war were executed as well. The French members of the Waffen-SS who managed to survive the war were also treated as traitors. The higher-ranking officers were executed, and the lesser officers were sent to prison or given the opportunity to join the Foreign Legion.

      • db

        huh

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I think there’s a movie about them coming out.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Is Quentin Tarantino involved in the project?

      • MikeS

        Was there a movie about this? Maybe I’m getting confused with Inglourious Basterds.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      It’s ugly business but they’d be damn fools not to and they appear to not be damn fools. The family members stuff is rough but not unexpected.

  57. The Late P Brooks

    “He said any legitimacy of any future Taliban government will be subject to them upholding internationally agreed standards on human rights and inclusivity,” according to a Downing Street statement released following the call.

    What the Taliban want, more than anything, is a seat on the United Nations Human Rights. Council.

  58. CPRM

    It’s like RAiaiian on a Greenland Day.

    • Not Adahn

      Greenland Day sucks. I never understood why Dookie got so much airplay.

      • Rebel Scum

        It is kindof a basket case.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Greenland Day was actually my breakthrough understanding of what it meant to be punk. Not the music, but the culture and saying I don’t have to abide by your stereotypes fucking corporate fat cats! That and SLC Punk of course.

      • rhywun

        It was very catchy and “radio-friendly”.

      • Chipwooder

        Eh, they’re OK. There really was nothing to distinguish them from other pop-punk bands like Screeching Weasel or Squirtgun. Right place at the right time, I guess.

      • PieInTheSky

        Cock Sparrer

        1. sounds gay

        2. how do you people know all these obscure bands?

    • KSuellington

      It’s a freeeee ride on a billionaire’s jet

  59. The Late P Brooks

    Forty FBI agents, reportedly arriving in four armored vehicles, moved in on the family’s farm at 7 a.m. on August 10.

    They had better get busy on securing D C and putting up the anti-Morlock barriers.

  60. The Late P Brooks

    All of the legacy outfits are now pushing the “bombshell” allegation that, try not to be shocked, Larry smoked marijuana. Yes, marijuana, also known as the Devil’s Lettuce. Not only did he do this, but he then checked a handgun in his bedside table to see if it was loaded, and he did this in front of an ex girlfriend. This is not okay. The recall is a matter of life and death and only voting against Newsom means death, while high.

    He’s a thug. You don’t want a thug for a governor, do you?

    • Rebel Scum

      Better than a used car salesman.

      • Not Adahn

        LP haz a sad

    • AlexinCT

      No, we want a crime syndicate boss in charge.. KEEP NEWSOME!

    • Chipwooder

      Yeah, NN is definitely not one of the school boards I’d have expected to see this happen.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It makes some sense after I think about it. The black churches hold a lot of sway politically in Newport News.

      • Chipwooder

        True. Still, the black churches usually aren’t that willing to directly cross swords with the Democratic Party.

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        One of the things that no one in the D party likes to admit is that LGB issues are seen the same in the black community, and the trans issue is not as well-liked would be my guess going from there.

    • ignoreLander

      The Newport News School Board voted Tuesday to ignore state guidelines on protecting transgender students rather than change its policies

      Hahahahahah loaded language much? Was January 6th an “insurrection”?

  61. Rebel Scum

    Inaternational cooperation.

    China and Tajikistan held a two-day joint anti-terrorism drill in the Tajik capital of Dushanbe this week, aiming to safeguard both national security and strengthen cooperation on law enforcement and security to address the threats of terrorism and extremism both face, according to the Ministry of Public Security.

    The joint drill was held by the Ministry of Public Security of China and the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Tajikistan from Wednesday to Thursday (Aug 18-19). …

    Nearly 100 officers from both sides participated in multiple anti-terrorism courses, practiced tactical command and coordination and achieved their goals, MPS said.

    The two ministries have conducted fruitful cooperation in counter-terrorism, and the success of this exercise has laid a sound foundation for joint drills. China will continue to deepen practical cooperation on law enforcement and security with Tajikistan and other countries in the region to safeguard peace and tranquility, MPS said.

    • Rat on a train

      Are the Tajiks having trouble with their Uzbek minority like the Chinese are having with the Uzbek cousins the Uyghers?

  62. Nephilium

    Alright all. Hold down the fort, I’m off to burn off some anger on two wheels.

    • UnCivilServant

      Taking a flamethrower to the unicycle twins?

    • Chipwooder

      Hell yes. One of the ways I know I’ve succeeded as a father is my son’s love of Pantera and Iron Maiden.

      • MikeS

        You’re a good man, Chipwooder. A good man.

      • Chipwooder

        *tips cap*

        My wife really doesn’t like that his favorite Pantera song is “Fucking Hostile”. ?

    • Rebel Scum

      Biden admin officials says they are still mulling plans to bomb and destroy US equipment in the country from the air. “Everything that hasn’t been destroyed is the Taliban’s now,” one official told Reuters.

      I’m not sure what there is to “mull”. You’ve fucked up so much so far that eventually you have to stop digging the hole. This should have been an immediate decision. You didn’t light up the Taliban so now you have to light up the shit we left behind.

      • Ownbestenemy

        The admin has told and shown us their response. It is nothing. They will ride it out hoping nothing too bad comes out of the remaining folks stuck there and the media will turn its attention elsewhere. Hey did you hear about Elder? He is a fucking racist pot-smoking gang-banger who hates women.

    • TARDis

      Well then, the MIC will need a couple trillion dollars to develop new and superior technology since their current stuff is in enemy hands. Winning!

    • Swiss Servator

      These are the AAF’s planes – If I recall, they only got the lowest set of anything that let it fly.

  63. Shpip

    Big birthdays today include such notables as Antarctica discoverer Fabian Gottlieb von Bellingshausen, naval hero Oliver Hazard Perry Achievement First Providence….

    • db

      Haha. I thought similarly when I read that.

      • Ozymandias

        Me three.

  64. Ed Wuncler

    One of the many attributes of the Left is sneering at everyone who isn’t them and basking in their supposed intelligence. But you look at who is currently in the White House and you have to think that as smart as they make themselves out to be, is this the best they had in 2020? Say what you will about Obama because dude was an empty suit, but at least he was able to convince people that he was super intelligent but this guy Biden, it’s been clear from day one that he failed upwards. I’m so tempted to rub all my Leftist acquaintances faces in a their own shit and rip on the, for letting this incompetent guy represent their party but they lack any sort of awareness and can’t be shamed.

    • EvilSheldon

      I’m increasingly convinced that the Left, and probably cultural elites in general, see competence as something to be actively avoided.

      No one can fail so consistently and so completely, without putting some effort towards it.

    • Chipwooder

      Biden was the butt of jokes for almost his entire career because everyone knew he was a total moron, and that’s before he started getting senile. I could have at least understood someone who outright said, “I hate Trump enough that I’m willing to vote for this blithering idiot, knowing how spectacularly stupid and incompetent and obnoxious he is”. Instead, you had an enormous number of people, particularly in the media, who pretended that the past 50 years hadn’t happened and Joe Biden was actually this smart, warm, competent guy.

  65. The Late P Brooks

    Be strong

    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern urged New Zealanders on Friday to adhere to her strategy to eliminate the fast-spreading Delta variant as she extended a strict lockdown amid a surge in infections.

    Ardern’s critics are questioning if she can repeat last year’s feat of almost stamping out Covid-19, as her government struggles to get the population vaccinated in the face of the more infectious delta variant.

    “We have been here before…we know the elimination strategy works,” Ardern told a news conference. “Cases rise and then they fall until we have none. It’s tried and true…we just need to stick it out.”

    ——-

    Friday’s 11 new cases, three in Wellington, took New Zealand’s tally of infections to 31.

    The Wellington sufferers had recently travelled to Auckland, visiting locations identified as having been exposed to the outbreak.

    “We just don’t quite know the full scale of this delta outbreak,” Ardern added. “We want the whole country on high alert right now.”

    Crazy as a shithouse rat.

    • Ownbestenemy

      “We just don’t quite know the full scale of this delta outbreak,”

      They are taking the gentler, less bolting the doors Chinese route I see. You don’t know because you have everything locked up inside.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I’m baffled by this type of response. Do they think that they can hunker down until the rest of the world eliminates the Rona and all variants?

      As soon as you open up, other people will visit and some of them will have the Rona and be asymptomatic.

      • UnCivilServant

        By then it will be the Omega variant, and all the visitors will be Zombies.

    • Not Adahn

      They should keep doin this until there are no diseases of any kind left in their country.

      Then we can turn the uninhabited landscape into Libertopia.

    • rhywun

      I am stunned at the stupidity.

      Next they will eliminate the flu and the common cold.

  66. The Late P Brooks

    I do not find that anywhere near as implausible as I once would have.

    I find myself saying that a lot, lately.

    • kinnath

      Something I was posted somewhere or other recently:

      Of all the sci-fi books ever written, why is it that just the dystopian novels come true?

      • kinnath

        Something I was saw . . .

      • UnCivilServant

        Because they don’t rely on magitech or handwavium to lay the foundation.

  67. Lord Humungus

    Riddle me this:

    EF’s guitar teacher, this young Korean guy, came down with COVID last year.

    Since he has a lot of contact with people, he got the “vaccination” earlier this year.

    And last week he canceled his time with EF since he came down with COVID – again!

    – note, I don’t know what tests he got, etc.

    • Lord Humungus

      Also EF knows two attorneys who got COVID after vaccination, serious enough where they had to be hospitalized.

      Can someone tell me why the push for something that seems to work about as well as… well… wearing a 39 cent mask from Walmart?

    • PieInTheSky

      I blame Korean food myself

      • Swiss Servator

        YOU LEAVE KOREAN FOOD ALONE!

        *sobs into camera*

  68. limey

    Glibfit question: skipping meals + keto means you eat into your muscle tissue? Yes/no/more complicated than that?

    • UnCivilServant

      You don’t even need that +keto part. You liver kicked into glucogenesis, and the rest of your system goes “oh, we really need to save the fat stores, what else can we burn before it gets too bad”

      • TARDis

        That’s why you need low-carb booze.

      • PieInTheSky

        UCS only drinks vodka which is the skinny chick booze option

    • PieInTheSky

      depends. how many meals you skip how much protein you get how many total calories a day do you work out.

    • Tundra

      I recommend you listen to Mark Sisson on the Tom Woods show. Mark addresses that very question.

      Short answer, no. If you go through the process of becoming fat-adapted, your muscles will be just fine.

      Here’s the link.