How to get there: Depends on how you want to come. If driving, you can come in through I-90; I-77; I-71; US-20; US-6; US-2, all of which pass through Cleveland. I-80 passes relatively close to the south. Flying in you can come in through Cleveland Hopkins International Airport (CLE) or Akron-Canton Airport (CAK) for commercial flights. If you’re flying in yourself, there’s Burke Lakefront Airport, as well as regional airports in the suburbs. There’s also the lake if you want to boat in, with marinas available to dock at. There is an Amtrak station and a Greyhound station if you want to get here on the cheap.
How to get around there: There’s bus and light rail through the RTA which will get you to most of the main places. Lyft and Uber both operate here, but the costs have been going up and wait times have been getting longer.
What to do there: If you like the outdoors, the Metroparks are a large system of parks that go all around the city and have hiking, biking, kayaking, horse riding, fishing, a train ride (that does offer beer and wine tastings on occasion), and other outdoor activities. If you like the arts, there’s the art museum, natural history museum, modern art museum, children’s museum, baseball heritage museum, the botanical gardens, Great Lakes Science Center, the theater district, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and of course, the Christmas Story House.
Where to eat at: Depending on your preferences, there’s quite a bit of good German food, Eastern European food, and Italian food. Other than that, if you’re looking for healthy food, you’re going to have trouble finding it. Our food may be unhealthy, but the portions aren’t small. If you’re looking for something local, I’d recommend Mable’s BBQ, the Harp, a street vendor Polish boy, or a stop at Happy Dog.
Where to drink at: For cocktails, Society Lounge and Velvet Tango Room are both standouts, with prices to match. For beer, the most highly awarded breweries are Fat Head’s, Brew Kettle, and Masthead.
Notable Neighborhoods: There’s a couple of areas that are known by a neighborhood nomenclature. The big ones for most visitors are:
- Tremont – Mix of gentrified higher end food and blue collar bars and restaurants. You can go to a bar that’s been owned by the same family for over 100 years, or go to the next new fusion place, and they’re only a couple blocks away from each other.
- The Flats – Split between the East bank and the West bank (don’t try to swim across the river… please). The East Bank was just recently redone (for the second time in my lifetime), and now has several breweries, bars, and restaurants. The West bank (which used to be the fancy side) now has an aquarium, a couple of bars, and some strip clubs.
- Ohio City – If you’re a visitor, you’ll want to focus on the West 25th area between Lorain and Detroit. That’s now become a defacto Brewery District, with four breweries directly on that strip, another four a couple blocks off of it, and a couple more in walking distance.
Professional Sports Teams: There’s a lot here:
- The Cleveland Browns – NFL team that has never been in a Super Bowl
- The Cleveland Monster – AHL hockey team
- The Cleveland IndiansGuardians – MLB team that hasn’t won a World Series in a long time.
- The Lake County Captains – A Cleveland Indians affiliate
- The Akron Rubber Ducks – AA Cleveland Indians affiliate
- The Lake Erie Crushers – Independent minor league baseball team out in Avon.
- The Cleveland Crunch – Arena Soccer team that just recently returned.
- The Cleveland Cavaliers – NBA team who brought home the first championship to Cleveland in my lifetime
How to blend in there: You probably won’t. We’ve got all sorts of identifying shibboleths to identify what neighborhood people grew up in, and will sort people based on the High School they went to. We’ll still welcome you in, just realize that talking poorly about the city will not be taken well. We can talk trash about our city and our teams, since we grew up here. We’ll take some ribbing from other rust belt cities, but we will mock the pretentious assholes from the coast who are surprised we have culture, good food, can walk upright, and speak in complete sentences.
One day trips from there: If you want to drive for a bit, there’s several sites that aren’t that far away, and worth visiting:
- Cedar Point – One of the best amusement parks for roller coasters in the world.
- Pro Football Hall of Fame – Just down the freeway in Canton.
- Mansfield Penitentiary – If you’re a fan of prison movies, this is the one that’s in Shawshank Redemption, Green Mile, and several others.
- Middlefield Amish Country – If you want to do more of the country thing, you can head out to Middlefield and visit the Amish out there.
- Geneva for “Wine” country – If you’re an oenophile, avoid it. The generally specialize in sweet wines (including ice wine). But there’s lots of outdoors seating, live music, and even some breweries and distilleries out that way.
Notable Local Chains: There’s quite a few here, with the stand out ones being:
- Melt – Grilled Cheese sandwiches, burgers, and beer.
- Barrio’s – Build your own tacos, beer, and margaritas.
- Winking Lizard – Sports bar with a deep beer and whiskey selection and bar food.
- Harry Buffalo – Sports bar known for wings
- Panini’s – Sports bar known for late night hours, and overstuffed sandwiches that caused many a Clevelander to be confused the first time they were presented a small smashed sandwich as a panini.
- Swensons – Older drive through chain known for the Galley Boy and fruit flavored drinks.
- Slyman’s – Big overstuffed corned beef sandwiches
That’s it. I should be around in the comments if you have questions or complaints. I’ll be dropping this over in the Forums as well. I freely give any and all the formatting and headers to use and write up a guide to your local city.
Fun times in Cleveland today…
Heh
That was damn funny.
I’d seen that somewhere before but it is still hilarious.
I would have been disappointed not to see this here.
Is the University Inn ever going to reopen or are they kaput?
Sokolowski’s? It’s up for sale, the family is selling it as they couldn’t keep it running during the shut down.
That’s too bad, but what I figured. Their website makes it sound more optimistic but then again it doesn’t appear to have been updated in quite a while.
Yeah. Local news was all over it when it was announced. At least they released some of their recipes before shutting down.
“Best things about Cleveland” Neph is there,
Xmas Story House.
Toby!
Interesting. Uber was so cheap last time I visited. It has always been very expensive in NYC, of course.
Both coming back from Arizona and Vegas, the girlfriend and I couldn’t get a Lyft or an Uber from the freaking airport. Thankfully, we’re close enough that the cab ride is only $15.
Gotta say that after reading Tonio’s DC piece, Cleveland sounds like heaven.
From the dead thread
kbolino on September 21, 2021 at 5:23 pm
Every video and picture of that m-fer is fake as hell. It’s probably some Obama birth certificate-level rope-a-dope but still. It’s unnerving afterwhile.
I got that same vibe watching the speech this morning. His speech patterns sound like the worst spliced together clips with abrupt transitions, weird pacing, and seemingly random word emphasis. Hat&Hair sounds downright natural in comparison.
Barrio’s – Build your own tacos, beer, and margaritas.
Would.
In the before times, a couple of their locations had brunch offerings as well. Barrio’s also got into a lawsuit with a former owner who started his own chain: Condado. Same basic idea, but I prefer the lower prices and free chips/salsa at Barrios more.
Thanks for the lists. I moved to the Portage Lakes area about a year ago and still haven’t done much sightseeing in Cleveland.
I like the numerous bike paths around here. I’d like to try some out along the lake, if the weather and my work schedule ever cooperate.
There’s a great path right through downtown along the lake. Keep an eye on which way the wind is blowing though, especially during spring or autumn.
And speaking of our bike paths…
Cleveland Metroparks recognized as ‘Best in the Nation’
I had a Polish boy or two when I living in Buffalo.
Easy Polacks in Buffalo eeh?
Nothin’ easy about it, unfortunately.
Euphemism or food reference?
?
? ?
I need to head out there to visit a vendor. So thanks for this, man! I may stay awhile longer than I anticipated!
Stolen for an upcoming Glibs Guide to Columbus, Ohio. I like the format.
Ahhh, Columbus. Throwing beer bottles at the cops at night, and going shooting with them the next morning…
“ We’ll still welcome you in, just realize that talking poorly about the city will not be taken well. “
❄️
there’s quite a bit of good German food, Eastern European food,
Yes.
That’s now become a defacto Brewery District, with four breweries directly on that strip, another four a couple blocks off of it, and a couple more in walking distance.
Yes.
Back from Minnesota. A great time was had.
I hope you enjoyed Grandview.
It was awesome. Our cabin was maybe 30 yards from the beach.
Monday was shitty weather. But even just watching the rain fall on the lake was relaxing.
Excellent.
I always stayed on the beach side, too. The places on the golf course are beautiful but I dgaf. Lake every time.
Sorry I couldn’t be there this year, but I’ll be back.
You were missed.
What are the women in Cleveland like?
I’ve seen you on Zoom, Neph. Walking upright and speaking in full sentences is questionable.
“…can walk upright…” I took that to mean it’s a possibility, but not a constant state.
?
https://mobile.twitter.com/lporiginalg/status/1433636793681809415
*snort* https://mobile.twitter.com/tchncllytru/status/1440287941138403342
Damn, it’s like Cleveland at Glibs tonight.
A big branch of the family tree is from Cleveland/Cuyahoga County. I fully intend on visiting sometime soon. Great-great grandfather served in the 103rd Ohio Infantry during the War of Northern Aggression, although he never saw action (according to military history).
Meanwhile in Australia. https://mobile.twitter.com/Partisangirl/status/1440355441708466178
I’m getting leery of clicking on these.
…
Ah, a ray of sunshine this time.
And just awesome the way the cop backs away.
It was a matter of numbers. If the cop had back-up right around him, he aint backing down. But he isn’t about to go at it alone with the guy surrounded by a crowd.
So, the initial tweet suggesting that alls it takes is standing up to the intimidation tactics and not backing down is a bit naive.
Those don’t sound like Australians to me. I think this happened somewhere else.
Tradies. Aka construction workers. Having worked in construction, I can see it.
They lose their accent when shouting?
And singing.
Just like Brits.
I always wondered what is up with that.
There’s a CFMEU banner in the background. That stands for Construction, Forestry, Maritime, Mining and Energy Union. That’s where the things started on Monday.
Good stuff, but… here in NYC we already have a two-tier society that – on paper – is not significantly less oppressive than what is going on in Australia and there is only token pushback. Maybe there is one specific aspect that is going to be the turning point? Or maybe Australia’s totalitarianism is more ruthless in practice right now than ours?
Good point grrizzly. I should never have doubted Tulip.
Thanks for this Neph. I love the format.
“Just call me daddy, eh”
I honestly don’t give a fuck who Geraldo groped or boinked three or four decades ago.
FFS, the media, gain some perspective.
“ actress Bette Midler has accused Rivera of groping her.”
#Me/eeeeew
Geraldo is Justin Trudeau’s father? I’m not all that surprised, but still. Eww.
I thought it was Castro. I can’t keep up.
WTF? Heraldo won’t let me in his house? I’m devastated, I’d better get the vax, pronto. Or, retaliate , Heraldo, you are always welcome in my humble abode, we like everyone, even a man of color. Am I doing that right? I want to be woke.
I hate this fucking state. Plastic bag bans, mask mandates, homeless everywhere, and idiot voters everywhere claiming we just need to prog harder. I don’t know how to make an inland state slide into the ocean but I’m willing it. Fuck this godforsaken state.
Which state should I be crossing off my move-to list?
I’m with you, bro.
Growing up we were always a laid-back backwater, politics tended toward “keep an even keel”.
That has disappeared in the last 15-20 years. Now the state is hard blue and turning bluer. I blame California influx.
Every time I think I’m ready to bail I remind myself that Susanna Martinez was governor only 5 years ago and she ranks at the top of the short “politicians that I can stand” list.
New Mexico puts the lie to the idea that Hispanics are natural conservative voters. That seems like the sort of barely convincing rationale that the Bushes tried to make about, well, literally everything, including that pathetic speech about January 6th. What a fucking farce. We’ve been had by two decades.
Went to Cleveland several years ago when the missus had a conference. Some memories:
— stayed downtown in the tower, overlooking Public Square. Great view of the Soldier and Sailor’s Monument. Noted that the figure on top was facing north, just like the soldier that seemingly tops every Civil War memorial in every town square in the south.
— going to Westside Market and seeing whole lambs and pig’s heads arrayed in some of the butcher shops (we visited the week before Easter)
— walking around Lincoln Park, waiting for the Mychal Simon restaurant (since closed) in the area to open. Lots of churches, including some denominations that I was previously unaware of (Antiochian Orthodox comes to mind)
— the E 4th St alley, with cocktail lounges, brewpubs, and interesting restaurants. One place (Greenhouse Tavern — also since closed) had a pig’s face on the menu. I couldn’t convince the wife to go.
Overall, a favorable impression. Wouldn’t mind exploring further, if only the place weren’t 1000 miles due north of me.
That sucks. I remember liking that place during one visit.
East 4th has really changed since you were last here. The shutdowns and the mostly peaceful protests did a lot of damage. Four or five places have closed (either temporarily or permanently), with only Greenhouse’s former location getting a new tenant that I’m aware of. On the Symon front, Mabel’s is the only freestanding restaurant he’s got left in the area (with two locations now).
Do you even shitlord? Your wife should thank you for the opportunity to leave the kitchen – even on a vacation. After giving you a blowjob in which she swallows.
It’s hard to believe you are single.
I’m married to my Firsting.
I’m sure you are.
I’m married to my Fi
rstingFIFY
*high five*
Eeeeeeeeewwwwww!
pffffffftttttt
The rise of the Bee has been a rare bright spot over the last few years. They’re just savage.
?
LOL
Way too close to the truth.
Thirty five years ago I was in Cleveland, looking for property for a retail site. I could not get over the block after block of beautiful 4 story buildings, empty, deserted, no one on the street. The buildings themselves looked well maintained, just empty, like a movie set All the businesses had moved on and urban renewal hadn’t started. Kansas City at the time looked similar.
At some point, when I wasn’t involved, a Shaker Heights location was chosen for a book store. I was never in the Cleveland area again except to drive through it.
We got the good highlights of cleveland. Can we get the downsides?
Standard crony machine politics at the city and county level with large amounts of corruption. Several neighborhoods that you don’t want to be in (not to Chicago or Oakland levels, but still). The years the lake freezes over brutally cold strong winds blowing through the city, if the lake doesn’t freeze you instead get lake effect snow (not to Buffalo levels, but still). Potholes in the less well maintained roads that can pop a tire (or break an axle). If you don’t have a car and want to get somewhere that isn’t serviced by RTA/bus you’ve got Lyft and Uber only, cabs need to be called and scheduled ahead of time. Main industries for jobs here are insurance and hospitals. The Cleveland lakefront is essentially wasted with no good access for large chunks of it. Especially after the shutdowns, there’s some areas that are being pushed into economic collapse.
Anything specific you want details on?
I have never been to cleveland. I was just wondering if Ohio’s big city was run like other big cities.
Atlanta has a bunch of stuff to do and see but its run by a series of commies so it has homelessness and crime. The big difference is in Georgia we carry guns, so we dont have the same kind of crime because many victims shoot back.
It’s been forever since I heard that song. Good pick.
Ah, the 80’s.
It just struck me how much that song starts out sounding like this song:
https://youtu.be/mBRr_TqLDf4
Huh it does.
I was reminded of Blondies “Sunday Girl” in the parts between the lyrics
All I know about Cleveland is my father quit his job rather than move us there when his company was relocating there in 1989.
There was a company actually relocating TO Cleveland in 1989? What, were they sold by all the abandoned real estate?
Abandoned = cheap
So…where the white bitches at?
They appear to be sleepy tonight
Come visit Cleveland – pass
I’ve never been there either.
I have.
There’s less there than this article claims.
Mornin, UCS.
Morning. How goes things?
Less cranky than yesterday.
Still need to hire new employees, which is near impossible. I might have a better chance of banging a super model.
*sigh*
You?
I’m even more convinced that I want to get out of New York.
Move to Paris (France) UCS. it is the city for you.
Why do you hate me?
The opposite end of Ohio is where it’s at! ::sticks tongue out at Mr. Ilium::
I don’t blame you
Good afternoon, Pie.
Sup’
https://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2021/09/21/man-prostate-removed-after-mistaken-cancer-diagnosis/
Always get a second opinion.
That aint no shit.
“I told my doctor I wanted a second opinion. He said, “fine- you’re ugly, too.””
-R. Dangerfield
Also from Rodney- “I think I drink too much. I gave my doctor a urine specimen. There was an olive in it.”
https://www.ktvb.com/article/news/health/coronavirus/idaho-hospital-capacity-stretched-thin-covid-19-media-briefing-live-at-230-pm-health-and-welfare/277-49056133-ce70-4ced-a345-4c5fb60cb6ac
Panic!!!!
No thanks. I will take the advice of a master:
STEVE SMITH SAY RELAX!
Toilet iguanas:
https://miami.cbslocal.com/2021/09/21/south-florida-iguanas-toilet-hollywood/
Pass.
suh’ fam
Yo. What. Is. Goody?
Got to wake up early for a change that went off with only a minor issue (resolved in under 5 minutes). This means I get to finally spend some time clearing my backlog of tickets.
Hey there! You almost made me want to visit Cleveland. Good job.
Thanks. It’s a decent city, IFF you know where to go and what to do. Hell, I had to keep going back and adding things that I had forgotten (like a couple of the museums and the like).
Thanks. One of these days I’ll get around to writing a guide to my town, River Vale NJ.
OK, I’ll do it now.
Traffic light at Riverdale Rd. and Old Tappan Rd. Nothing there, but occasional spectacular views of inundated homes when the Hackensack River floods.
Traffic light at Westwood Ave. Pizza joint, Walgreens, Dunkin Donuts, fitness center.
That’s it. See you soon!
I just sent a friend a text telling him how good a cold beer tastes @ 0615h, after toiling in the recycle mines all night.
“toiling in the recycle mines all night”
Did you fill up your shopping cart?
Emptied it. I needed the change.
Heh. Quart of Bud went for 65¢ in my college days. If you were the first one up the morning after a party, you could scrounge up enough change from the sofa for a good buzz.
Back on the Glibfit wagon again, trying to drop these last 20 pounds.
Don’t know if you saw, but Budweiser is now releasing a zero carb beer, to help you keep to your keto.
Zero carb beer? Is it non alcoholic? I’d give it a try…
Negative. It’s got alcohol in it.
Good morning, homey! And ::glances up and down thread:: …all the rest of the Glibreakfast Club!
It’s BLOWSY at Tranquility Base this morning! I may have to go in and don one of my Ohio State Park Lodge hoodies…a telltale sign that Autumn is upon us. ?
Mornin’, GT. Blowsy, you say?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wUjege2gYEU
Ah, you’d be disappointed. I’m not wearing a skirt – I’m wearing yoga pants.
Yoga pants? Disappointed? Does not compute.
Yup. The wife is away and I am Tom Ewell, minus the Marilyn…
Good morning, everyone!
I’m thrilled that my “book nook” diorama arrived from Italy yesterday. Sometimes ya gotta love the Internet.
https://imgur.com/a/ySYggAt
Very nice. Picturing Rick Moranis wandering around in there.
Morning.
That looks cool.
That looks very nice.
Good morning. Thanks for posting that. I was wondering what to get the spousal unit for her birthday. I think she’d love that. Can I trouble you for a link?
Never mind. I’m guessing it’s an Etsy thing. Thanks for the idea though.
*googles*
Lil spendy for a surprise gift. I love the idea though.
Yeah, I am thinking about how to make some myself for far less. Just needed a prototype. The mirror is key for making it look really deep….
How long did it take to get it?
Facilities like this won’t raise the cost of health care.
https://www.nj.com/gloucester-county/2021/09/nj-hospital-celebrates-opening-of-184m-expansion-featuring-90-private-rooms.html
“The facility will offer 90 private patient rooms, family space in room and waiting areas, in addition to private family consult areas on each floor. It also features 30 private ICU rooms and 30 private acute-care rooms, all with full bathrooms. A new rooftop helipad sits above the top floor.”
What, no private bar?
My Kingdom for an up and down button!
Mornin’, Festus!
Gaia is not pleased with the lockdowns.
https://nypost.com/2021/09/22/melbourne-australia-struck-by-magnitude-5-9-earthquake/
Judi is still away. That means that I am unhappy and eat the same dinner for days in a row. I can’t be arsed to cook anymore, even though I was once very good at it.
Awww, Fes! I’m sorry! ? It DOES mean you can eat whatever you want, though. Left to my own devices, I usually end up at the regional Big Boy franchise (NOT A EUPHEMISM!!!) for my favorite Swiss Miss burger. With shredded lettuce & tartar sauce! All on a dark rye bun!
insert Bevis and Buthead snicker….
Are your local restaurants on lock down still?
Fast food still has drive-thus.
We got a new “fast food” joint in town. They advertise keto bowls. Yay.
https://www.bubbakoos.com/newmenu
One of these days we’ll get over there to try them.
DEG got me to eat carbs on Sunday at the local burger joint. No one tell Tres.
“Drive Throughs”