IFLA: The “Urge Overkill” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of September 12

by | Sep 12, 2021 | IFLA | 75 comments

Girl, you’ll be a neuter soon.

The skies are both boring and unpleasant this week.  The only alignment is Mars (war, aggression) – Mercury (change, news, chaos, disruption, luck) – Jupiter retrograde (misrule, sadness, tyranny).  The best possible interpretation is that we’ll find out details of who/how someone screwed up a military operation.  Let’s go with that one — the alternate interpretations are left as an exercise for the reader.

 

View of the Fluff

 

All of the happenings are confined to three signs.  Aquarius still holds Jupiter and Saturn, both reversed, nothing new there.  Libra gets an early influx of inner planets which is good news for those of you who can keep their heads while all areound are losing theirs and blaming you, but poor Virgo manages to get hte moon in addition to Mars, so though their time isn’t as great as it could be, they still have a bit of extra oomph.

 

Ticket to the Vet

 

The cards say it’s going to be an eventful week, and oddly enough not terrible.

Virgo:  Temperance – Economy, moderation, frugality, management, accommodation.

Libra:  3 of Cups reversed – Expedition, dispatch, achievement, end.   Excess in physical enjoyment, and the pleasures of the senses.

Scorpio:  Justice – Equity, rightness, probity, executive; triumph of the deserving side in law.

Sagittarius: 10 of Wands reversed – Contrarieties, difficulties, intrigues

Capricorn:  10 of Swords  – Pain, affliction, tears, sadness, desolation

Aquarius:  Knight of Swords – Skill, bravery, capacity, defense, address, enmity, wrath, war, destruction, opposition, resistance, ruin

Pisces:  The Hanged Man reversed – Selfishness, the crowd, body politic.

Aries:  9 of Swords reversed – Imprisonment, suspicion, doubt, reasonable fear, shame.

Taurus:  The World – Assured success, recompense, voyage, route, emigration, flight, change of place.

Gemini:  The Magician reversed – Physician, Magus, mental disease, disgrace, disquiet.

Cancer:  Judgement – Change of position, renewal, outcome

Leo:  King of Cups – Fair man, man of business, law, or divinity, responsible, equity, art and science, creative intelligence

 

Now that’s the Barklords

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

75 Comments

  1. Yusef drives a Kia

    “Virgo: Temperance – Economy, moderation, frugality, management, accommodation.”
    That’s what I need to do right now, so I’ll take it.

  2. DEG

    Fair man, man of business, law, or divinity, responsible, equity, art and science, creative intelligence

    Hmm….. doesn’t sound right to me.

  3. hayeksplosives

    Fuck you, stars. I’m having an epically good time.

    • Plinker762

      How about an epicyclic good time?

      • hayeksplosives

        Mebbe…

        “ Aries: 9 of Swords reversed – Imprisonment, suspicion, doubt, reasonable fear, shame.”

        That’s the opposite of what I’m going through now. I’m FREEEEE!!

  4. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    I think I’ve had one good horrorscope since you started this series. When will the stars & cards say “This is your week to win $1 million and your crush will email you”?

    • Not Adahn

      Are you sure you’re a woman? That’s a terrible meet-cute.

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        I’ll settle for a meet-ugly at this point

  5. Not Adahn

    She’s already destroyed the cone. Good for her.

    • LCDR_Fish

      Become ungovernable

  6. Not Adahn

    The fence guy came by yesterday, I finished attaching that to my part and now the fence is complete. Oddly enough, the yard looks bigger somehow. I need to figure out something to do with the gate to the part of my property I’m leaving wild. The one I put up has shifted just enough that I don’t trust the latch. I may just seal it with some scrap lumber and zip ties until spring and see how it looks after a freeze-that cycle.

  7. Mojeaux

    Taurus: … change of place.

    Typo? p(l)ace? Doesn’t matter. We are, in fact, looking for a new place. Don’t know when we’re gonna bail on this accursed house.

    • Ghostpatzer

      LOL. Remind me to carefully scrutinize future GoFundMe requests.

      • l0b0t

        Sigh… If George Costanza and Maynard G. Krebbs adopted the Feral Kid from The Road Warrior – the result would not be much different from me.

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        That… That, says something.

  8. Ghostpatzer

    Gemini: The Magician reversed – Physician, Magus, mental disease, disgrace, disquiet.

    Those cards know me well.

  9. Gustave Lytton

    Girl, you’ll be a neuter soon.

    Great. Transgenderism has reached the animal world. Can’t wait for Critical Bark Theory.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That’s a ruff joke.

      • Ghostpatzer

        A real head-scratcher.

      • rhywun

        I’m going to have to chew on it a little more.

      • Mojeaux

        They’re just grooming everyone to accept CRT.

    • Not Adahn

      Update: Miss Lily, she spayed.

  10. juris imprudent

    Usually house Imprudent has one good option between the two of us – not so much this week.

  11. kinnath

    Pisces: The Hanged Man reversed – Selfishness, the crowd, body politic.

    Libertarian — selfish asshole. Checkouts.

    • hayeksplosives

      Lolz.

      Howdy, kannath

      • kinnath

        Howdy.

        I think you were the only one to react to my mem last night.

      • DEG

        I’ve seen it spread around a bit.

        It was good.

      • kinnath

        I’ll know I hit the big time if it shows up in my facebook feed someday.

      • dbleagle

        I taxed it and shared it last night.

  12. hayeksplosives

    Trigger warning: nerd topic incoming.

    My slide rule has disappeared with one of the people who left my current employer.

    I’d love to have another one, but I’d like it to be pretty too.

    Do any of you lot have suggestions?

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      There are some vintage ones on etsy

      • hayeksplosives

        Oooh. Good idea. Would not have thought of etsy.

        BRB.

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        If you find a nice one, I’d love to see it!

      • hayeksplosives

        I’ve written to the guy Scruffy linked. We shall see…

        In the meantime, here’s a pic of an alternative slide rule I own.

        https://imgur.com/a/gOMIQjt

      • The coolest vaccine-free BEAM in the world™

        SCHWEET!

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        Very nice!!!

      • Gustave Lytton

        My wallet hates you, Scruffy.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Yeah, I know.

      • Homple

        Goddam! The one I lost, a Versalog No. 1460. is marked $495.

      • hayeksplosives

        Who knew?!?

        I bought a scabby one when I was in college in the 90s and brought it to my favorite professor during his office hours.

        I asked him to show me how to use it. He was tickled pink and then asked where I got it. I said it was from the local antique store and he groaned.

        But he enthusiastically showed me how it worked.

        Dr Jack Allison. May he Rest In Peace. A wonderful mentor.he He had had a stroke that rendered his left side pretty useless so he just dragged it around with him, but there was nothing wrong with his intellect.

        /pours one out/

      • The coolest vaccine-free BEAM in the world™

        I had two slide rules when I was in junior high (a circular and a linear). Can’t for the life of me remember the manufacturer, but they were both from the same German company. I ended up kinda preferring the circular, for various reasons which I now only vaguely remember.

      • The coolest vaccine-free BEAM in the world™

        Duh.
        Staedtler-Mars. (Or is it Mars-Staedtler?)
        Anyways. Nice rules, but I can’t seem to find the example of the circular one, so my sad memory is probably tricking me that it was a Staedtler-branded one.
        Both were still cool.

    • Not Adahn

      I hope the new job is giving you a raise.

      • Ghostpatzer

        “Is that a linear slide rule or a circular slide rule?

      • Ghostpatzer

        Cool!

      • Ghostpatzer

        404?

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      Somehow I inherited a collection of slip-sticks. Some of them were beautiful, one with a double slide, another was log-log (-log?; can’t recall). One was someone’s pride and joy in a hard leather case with a detachable belt loop. Alas, I gave them all away except the 6″ K+E that was identical to the one that I carried in high school.

      I’ve always said that a slide rule was the perfect computational device for engineering. Error accumulation is automatically accommodated for and three digit accuracy is generally sufficient for real-world applications. Being forced to keep track of where the decimal goes helps to keep from making dumb order-of-magnitude mistakes*.

      * “The particle will be moving at 8×10^14 m/sec after acceleration” – actual answer that I put on an exam in physics class while using a calculator.

      • Ghostpatzer

        You invented faster-than-light travel? Call a patent attorney!

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        That is almost exactly, word for word, what the prof wrote on my exam.

      • Ghostpatzer

        *waggles eyebrows

      • Homple

        Yup. Write everything out to be sure the units end up right, then 3 digits.

    • Homple

      I feel your pain.

    • Ted S.

      Fuck you, cut spending.

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      I will be out of here before I owe my next car tax bill. Hooray!

      • LCDR_Fish

        I get a discount in my county for high-mileage. Definitely less than when I was in cville.

    • Animal

      Because we’re technically remote, we have permanent plates. No renewing, no taxes.

      • l0b0t

        HELL YEAH! Your recent relocation is rather inspirational. An anthem for these times – https://youtu.be/sYkatTOsfRY

      • Mojeaux

        You could, you know, relocate where you have a job waiting for you. ?

  13. Not Adahn

    Has anyone taken trazadone?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      No, but I feel like I might need to if things keep headed where they are.

    • Tundra

      Thank you very much!

      This looks great! I’ve read about her and definitely should have hired her!

  14. Loveconstitution1789

    A student who removed thousands of 9/11 flags from a college memorial said it was a protest against Islamophobia and US military interventions

    These are the problem people living in America.

    Islamic nations have been the pain in America’s ass for almost 250 years starting with the Barbary Wars. We are not picking fights with Muslim nations and America does not fight religious wars. Being against Koran inspired violence is NOT Islamophobia. I am against Bible inspired violence too.

    While ME history and politics are complex issues, America just wants peace so we can get rich off trade and travel. Blaming America for everything in the ME is bullshit. America is just one of the few countries that historically doesnt pick fights.

    As for US military interventions, America has a mixed record but still we dont normally pick fights. On 9/11, America was attacked so public opinion favored going after those responsible. The public reason for invading Iraq was a lie. WWII, America was attacked by Germany and Japan and both declared war on America first.

    I get protesting and I get doing something to grab headlines. I also have a problem with how civilians killed on 9/11 were treated like heroes and got massive payouts because they died. American civilians died though along with NYPD and NYFD heroes and those deaths mean something to Americans.

    When you fuck with American flags, you dont have much sympathy from me. The US flag is only a symbol but that symbol had Americans carry it to the top of Mt Suribachi, while dying along the way. Its your constitutionally protected right to burn the US flag but I get to say fuck you to you too.

    Fuck you Fadel Alkilani.