Tuyani
We found and occupied the Anomaly nearly 1k local cycles ago, using the station for research on the third Planet, we found out they called it Earth. At first we were discrete, only gathering and mating with close genetics, and soon we discovered that they adapted to our dNA so well they became giants of their species. As time went on they grew capable of terrible things, but we could only back off as they progressed, that was our Law, soon they used Nukes and developed rudimentary spacecraft, so we retreated to the Anomaly.
The Tuyani
We are an explorer race, and having developed the Weapon, we could be who we chose to be, with no restraints, we developed many of the worlds you see and visit today. It wasn’t always easy, we lost more than a few ships compliments, but the pay off in knowledge and trade is worth it to us. Which brings us to this lonely arm of the galaxy, a true backwater, Sol system has some interesting features, The water World of Earth, the floating cities of Jupiter, and of course our investigation into who destroyed planet 5 and why? We were determined to find out.
In the last 200 cycles the humans had moved into the asteroid belt, and their mining and extraction had destroyed critical evidence, but we could only watch, bound by our Law. At first we saw a small probe, rudimentary, but capable of spectrographic analysis, and we knew it was only a matter of time before we had guests. Sure enough, soon we detected 2 ships on slightly different courses burning directly at us, at what for them was a high rate of speed, maybe 3 days out.
The Anomaly
It wasn’t much really, a 3 Kilometer obloid sphere, in what was known as the Oort cloud, and when we arrived we noticed higher than normal gravity, and after analysis we determined it was 99.9 percent Titanium. Right then we knew it was Created by Someone, but who? The anomaly did provide a stable orbit, so it was convenient to our purpose, the study of Earth. Now with the Human ship approaching we had decisions to make, meet and greet, or hide under cloak? We chose to break protocol and sat, waiting to meet our studies, the Time had come.
to be continued…
Off to the Oort cloud again. Watch out, space MILFs!
What is your deal with the Oort cloud?
You have to ask Yusef, I believe he is Lord of the Oort Cloud and Space Milf thighs…
And Sir Ohsis of the Liver! Good Sir!
Huzzah!
Careful for negligent discharge on Mammary Monday.
https://archive.li/eywVy
Do those count as “close genetics”?
Only missing one thing Q,
A firey curtain?
red and firey, yes…..
Maybe it is genetics but yeah…the reds are a heart stopper for me
I’m so stupid for redheads I think Jen Psaki is attractive.
There. I said it.
She is not unattractive. The stupid things they make her say, though… holy crap.
If you’re into hair plugs…
Proves your NoDak bonafides.
It’s not so much the red itself; it’s an indicator of fiery Gaelic roots..
^this, so much this,
Queen Boudica was no joke and probably the genesis of it all.
My red-headed mom was always jokingly disappointed to birth four blond boys, but eventually delighted to get two fire-red grandkids.
#metoo
I’m team red as well
https://archive.li/uAkcv/1ca706492dc9625f6114a398a9b58e992152e112.jpg
NSFW.
yes,
https://archive.li/KwYrg/7aeb7e0a1efba9292b464288ad0073dc67106a0b.jpg
NSFW.
Oh to be a young Man…..
/Nah
Oh yes
I’m not exactly pedantic, but
this seems like an oxymoron. Like it would have to be one or the other.
There is a reason, all will be revealed,
After the Trumpets and before the Vials, or in between, or…
Blackjack, uuhhhwhattttrrruuudoineeeerrreee?
Just get on the Oort Express, make a right at the Obloid Sphere, right by the Coffee Bean, and never come back!
That’s what I’m talking about!
/Wait for the variable gravity Bitches!
Obloid Spheres, Gravity Bitches, and Tall Cans!
Come by every Monday night! I’ve got it all!
I’ll swing by the Ohio and pick up Tres Cool on my way! They’re going to have to close down MI for at least a few days…
We could get in trouble, Let’s do it!
Whitman will be mad. What you figure we can get for her out in the Oort?
Spaced, as it should be,
Alright. Fun stuff
Hey, Yusef! I went and skated another full pipe, this one up by lake Casitas. It was a little bit too small to really get into. Maybe 10 feet or so. The transition gets kinda sharp when they’re that small and everything happens way too fast. My kid got a couple of decent runs, because he’s a foot and a half shorter than me. I felt like my head was gonna hit the top. Shame, because the hike was a lot easier and the terrain much nicer. It was fun despite that.
Tight pipes are a bitch, have you been to Upland? that’s a real pipe, great design and flow by my buddy Salba, and if you get out that far Fontana #1 and Chino#2 are great parks as well.
Ooo…. aliens. Interesting.
Borrowing from “Gateway” and the Heechee? The anomaly reminded me of the Gateway asteroid the Heechee left behind, except this time the aliens are still there.
No, I never read that, I’m writing on the fly, and these aren’t the Aliens you seek,
Ahh…
Great story continues! I can see it now:
“The phallic probes of the one known as Bezos penetrated our space.”
“they became giants of their species”
Oooh, giant space milfs, whoaaa…
The Romans were 5’2″, we are 5’8″ it was Alllieeens man!
5’2 scary gladiators? No wonder they couldn’t subdue the barbarian hordes. Last I seen of the barbarian hordes, in Rio, wearing speedos, tube socks, and sandals, they were all taller than me.
Merry Succos, everyone.
I have two more days off, tomorrow and Wednesday.
“Succos”
It’s not like you’re going to make us believe that is a real thing. We’re edumencated and stuff.
Oh ye of little (((faith))).
Shalom
Whoever decided that mixing lima beans with corn warranted its own name anyway?
Inca Mix?
Maxine Waters, lol. Hundreds of years? Wait, I thought it was only 100 years ago when slave owning white men wrote the Constitution? How many hundreds of years are we talking about? Were there slave owning dinosaurs?
Huh
Huh, I don’t get it. Why would they try to correct this 100% true story that takes us back 100s of… maybe millennia, may epochs of time. Will the 3.5 trillion even cover these reparations? We need to spend more now!
“The Times has not seen conclusive evidence that migrants were struck with the reins.”
But, feelwins were hurted.
My life sucks right now, but it could be a Hella worse, Beer and Women! Yes!
It was a nice twist of the tale, Bob.
I read that as “Tails of the Belt”
I’m not really into too much kink or al least I wasn’t when I was able to be into stuff like that. I read the whole chapter, with some difficulty and I must have missed something. No French, no Greek, nothing that I would consider ‘icky’.
Thanks, Yusef, we kept our family rating.
Sir! I would never disparage this fine website, I am a Gigalo, but not a Cad,
Harrumph!
That’s because you never had a chance to retire and find your inner freak like all the elderly in Florida. People with nothing left to do in their lives besides drive slow and spread venereal disease to one another.
When I retire from being a full time Firster, I plan to die in poon.
Retirement is for quitters, are you a quitter Bro?
We have a family rating?
*Checks Thursday’s movie review
Oh dear.
If SF doesn’t lose our rating, you’re good to go,
It was salacious articles that got me hooked on science fiction back in my yoot.
Frank Frazetta! I love me some Space boobs!
We’re gonna give the aliens the omega variant?
They took our Wimmens! why not give them a weak virus the kills.001 percent of those who contract it?
Pffffft. We’re not willing to share.
Downloading New World. Because even Smeagol still deserves a chance.
40GB – 51% 40.1 MB/s. 10 minutes. Impressive.
link?
Just go to Stream and search for New World. I’m already setting up my game profile…
Nah, I don’t have 40$ for a game I may not like,
Can you get Starlink up there? I mean, I’m using Crapcast, but downloading 40 GB in less than 20 minutes is still fairly impressive.
Jumping on the EU servers, because US EC is not online until 8am tomorrow and I’ll be working…
Thought it was still pre-sale? Love now?
Live…whatever
No, I guess the EU servers are still not live for another 3 hours and Murica is 8am tomorrow.
US servers are DLing for me,
Thought you just said you didn’t want to play a game you didn’t like. I has confused face.
Ah… you’re my don’t-tread-on-me steam-friend.
Yeah, no. MMO is not my bag.
See, here’s the secret. You can play the game single player. For like forever. Only they call it solo, not single player. Same thing though.
hmmm, that sounds intriguing,
Yeahhhh but… MMO tells me that’s where the focus is. Single-player probably sucks.
I prefer games that are designed for single-player only.
Unless there’s something spectacularly amazing about it, I’m not even going to look at a game with MMO as it’s main selling point.
You can build! Craft! Like…every other game
And chase that one crystal that make the orgasmic mutonatron!
Oh. Yeah, not helping.
The offline thing sold me, I can play alone, or maybe get my gaming buddy interested,
“Yeahhhh but… MMO tells me that’s where the focus is. Single-player probably sucks.”
No, that’s not true. I played ESO for 300 hours.
I downloaded elite dangerous a few weeks ago. I played the original back in the 80’s. Incredible game. Open world, but you can play alone if you want.
Space trade, fight, mine or explore.
Space games like that are fun. I dig Eve but it is too deep into its cycle to enjoy without shit tons of Chinese farmers taking everything from you. I only know this cause one of my younger employees was some large corporation leader of Eve and he had an army of them for offline hours.
This game is fun without any other players being encountered. You have the entire galaxy to explore. It’s worth it just for the map of the galaxy in the game.
the Bee, very good,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmJ0HDbZi5M
Sheesh.
https://ibb.co/2W91KWZ
That’s Fucking Evil….
The only thing more evil would be to then take out the kid with a drone strike.
At least I know where my Taxes go,
You two are pussies.
Hey, I’m continuing the joke while feigning outrage.
Where is my fainting couch? oh Bother!
Tomorrow I sight in my new crossbow, run a Disc Tournament, then fish for Pike, before a nice Roast beef dinner, whatcha gonna do? Cry in a corner?
Your mother.
You see that, straf? That’s how your mom jokes should be done.
My Mother is 15 years dead, kinda gross, dontcha think?
After seeing too many charming videos, I laughed.
Wife: “You don’t even know that our daughter entered puberty.”
Me: “Really? Why do you think I’ve been doing the laundry blindfolded?”
Works for both boys and girls. This is why we had them do their own laundry starting at age 6…so we didn’t have to deal with stiff socks.
Ignorance is bliss. *stuffs large bite of steak in mouth*
It is until they don’t do what they are told and you have to move their laundry and you find a buttplug. Oh look..a steak.
When you saw only one pair footprints in the sand, that’s when I left you and your buttplug to your own devices.
Y’allins wierd and shit, Let’s just talk pussy, that’s a fan favorite,
We aren’t what the world asked for, but what it needed.
That’s the funniest comment that I’ve read here for some time. Take a bow!
My mom taught me how to operate the washer and dryer when I was about 10 I think. It wasn’t until adulthood that I learned that most kids never did laundry until the day they moved out. It was very bizarre to me.
We learned early. Mom was a drunk that would wash pens from Dad’s shirts with your baseball uniforms. She never attended a single one of my games even though I was playing at a high level. Poor Mom.
I’m gonna coin a new term: cringestalgic . Heard this at the coffee shop and was back in a pea green Ford Galaxie on the way to an al anon meeting.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XonHIXdA2Zg
Oh the cringetastic things I survived, good times? Yep.
Talgic? i have no memory Sir,
I think one my cringetastic memories was running around Lake Arrowhead in the woods with BB guns shooting at each other with friends. Good God I could not imagine doing that today.
At least you weren’t tree surfing on acid, in Big Bear
/good times….
I miss Cali of the 80s/90s…
So do I, I wish I could go home, but that Cali is dead, it sucks
/too cold for too long up here,
So Al anon didn’t stick? Good for you! We need all of our correspondents from the Far East!
Still no EU servers, or any servers up for New World. No China, Aussie, Canada, Oregon, or Cali servers either… Oh wait, all those communist countries have banned computer games.
I set all the graphic settings to max at 3440×1440. Looks pretty good, 52 FPS. Not bad for release day. Will try again tomorrow.
Cause it hasn’t released yet..10 minutes for Europe
Wow, I just zonked out in my chair and had an actual dream with characters and shit that I can remember. That never happens.
I’ve heard if you don’t think about a dream within ~10 minutes after waking up, it doesn’t get stored in your long-term memory. No idea how much of a scientific basis that has, but it seems like that’s generally how it works for me.
Yeah, I’ve totally forgotten all of it already. Just the barest of details.
The temporal lobe is an amazingly creative thing. Its jobs include processing real time experiences but also accessing old memories.
Sometimes it “mis-files” a real time experience as a memory, and that is what we call Deja Vu (I swear I’m not making this up).
I happen to have temporal lobe epilepsy. That manifests in interesting ways, including extremely vivid dreams. Before I was diagnosed and medicated, I had “deja vu” many times a week. Technically those are all seizures, so even though it sounds fun, it was bad for my brain.
Nowadays I’m seizure-free, but I admit that I miss the creativity…
Even medicated, a portion of my left temporal lobe is constantly in “delta” waves, which indicate dreaming. I guess it’s part of what makes me “me”.
Here’s one for you, Hayek:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tbU3zdAgiX8
A frat brother and I sang and played back in the day, lots of this kind of stuff. The ladies were particularly fond of this one ( I was tenor harmony dude ).
Nice! A fave indeed!
S&M version:
When I want you in the night,
When I want you to scratch and bite,
Whenever I want you,
All I have to do is scream…
Lol. Why do I get the feeling you might have actually performed that?
In public? I don’t recall. Maybe some time around Halloween. (Along with Spooky, of course.)
Spooky. That is a Classic, love it
Sang it with TT at a nearby open mic last week. Always like to include something seasonal.
Classics IV or Atlanta Rhythm Section? I prefer the first because sax solo.
Thanks dude.
I’ll have to wait til later to watch and listen because I don’t want to awake the Kraken next to me…
https://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2021/09/27/radnor-montgomery-county-dirt-bikes-atvs-police-villanova-safety/
That police department needs to watch some Australian police videos. Cucks.
John Crist again. Funny fucker.
https://fb.watch/8iDkXTJ8BF/
?
If I had space in my room, I could see getting a camo recliner. I’m pretty sure my wife would keep the door closed thereafter.
https://www.nj.com/coronavirus/2021/09/please-stop-inhaling-hydrogen-peroxide-to-treat-covid-doctors-warn.html
Wait, what? That’s a thing?
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing H2O2…
WTF? Everyone knows butyl nitrate is the best inhalant for COVID.
Kinda knew that Patzie would know about Poppers, even if they are actually amyl nitrate.
Ackshually, either will do. Butyl was sold as an air freshener – “Locker Room”. Because who doesn’t love essence of sweaty men?
Dang!
They used to sell it in tiny bottles in the “Head Shops”. Called it “Rush”. It never did anything except get 14 year-olds to pretend to be high.
Wow, I remember that. That was a lifetime ago.
Right? Lets compare toke stones!
Somebody wants you to think it is a thing. A statement that anyone actually did it seems to be conspicuously missing.
suh’ fam
whats goody
Good morning, homey! And hayek & Sean! I guess everyone else is gaming.
Survived my first day back at work yesterday – got payroll posted and the usual Monday mountain of mail sorted. Here’s hoping today is a little more low-key. Gonna take one last look through the backlog of e-mails to make sure I didn’t overlook anything important.
Wassup by you?
Gaming? No.
Finding out I still haven’t won the lottery.
I’m sorry. Me neither
(Failed to buy a ticket.)
Evidently it rained last night. I was a little drunk and left the truck windows open. Got me a wet ass when I made the beer-run to the Ghetto Kroger.
The stock of Milwaukee’s Diet Beast have been running thin, and I ran into the Miller merchandiser. I asked him whats going on, and he said “we cant get it, and the plant isnt making it”.
My heart stopped for at least a full 10 seconds.
Not much Bro.
Just up way too late (early?) and hanging out with my cat.
Today’s agenda is getting the house sorted a little better so that the SWAT team movers have an easier task.
Back to work today. Blech. Picked up a few round roasts yesterday at a price I don’t expect to see again: $3.99/lb. Garage freezer may be my all-time best investment.
It’s tempting to see about getting a chest freezer, but I don’t want anything else in the garage – no room for cars as it is – and I dread the thought of getting it into the basement.
I have a rather oversized garage, an extra 6 feet beyond where the back wall would normally be, so freezer + shelves, and still fits 2 cars.
Chest freezer… phrasing?
“Sorry honey, I have usually have cold hands.”
I inherited poor circulation from my dear mother.
Yep, leave it behind. Not worth the hassle, You should have used it as a selling point – “c/w 800lb chest freezer! Will work until it stops!”
Put it on rails and build a table over it. When you need to get something from the freezer, the rails let out pull it out from under the table, and the table prevents cluttering up the top of the lid by blocking the level surface.
Now if only there were any place with room to pull out a freezer into…
I wonder if a small one such as Tulip describes would fit under our small “dining room” (really, the upstairs music room) table? Would it be tacky to put the rails over the carpet?
I was being unserious, and those rails are a trip hazard.
We have cats. We’re used to trip hazards.
Your entire ensemble should run on rails, Red! That would be a cool house!
Ruby on rails… Good band name, also a web platform.
I like you, Patzie. You get me.
My chest freezer is about the size of a dishwasher. It’s useful for me, and I could move it to the basement alone if necessary. Since I’m single, that’s enough. It would be good for two people as well.
When we move, whenever that is, we’ll be leaving ours right where it is now. “House for sale, free freezer included”.
All of the appliances are staying put if that happens. Fuck that noise! I’ve moved my last one up or down stairs forever.
That’s almost as good as winning the lottery.
No shit. I thought beef was pricey here in NJ until I went up to Scranton to visit my younger son this weekend. $9.99/lb for round roast? He has developed a taste for pork (no euphemism).
Chest freezer is totally worth the price .
I foresee much more hunting in my future; pronghorns are tasty.
Naked girl links with pale nipples. My kingdom for a time machine!
Good Morning All:
As always, sun is coming up.
Wife may have found milk sheep on sale. Just have to go get them.
Potential Road Trip.
In fed drone news, still no notification on Vid vaccine. Which I find odd and anti-climatic.
You didn’t expect them to be too efficient in rolling all this out, did you?
Its been 3 weeks since the EO has been signed.
I figured the lawyers at the Pentagon would have set this up by now.
Good morning, Glibs, Glibladies, and Globs. All quiet on the southern front.
I’m looking forward to visiting my Orthospinologist (Chiropractor) today. He has successfully removed my phantom pain that runs from my shoulder to my wrist. Yay, I can sleep again!
Nice! I found them unhelpful (along with acupressure and acupuncture) but if it works for you? Dandy!
Sleep is awesome
Glad you are getting better
Excellent. Less pain is good.
Excellent. Pain sucks. I have a tooth extraction in a couple of weeks that can’t come soon enough.
Morning!
You have dentists now??? When did that happen?
J/K
Hope it goes well.
I was very skeptical of chiropractors, but he’s a bit different than the typical snap and cracker.
If they find too much damage just take the plunge. Rip them fuckers out so they stop soaking you bi-monthly. Sure, you might lose your sense of taste but at least you wont have bad breath anymore.
Gonna get a dental implant?
Oh bother. I just now see that I had a message back about a job a couple of weeks ago. I took another job in the mean time and this job looks much better. No point now but I did send a reply apologising for missing the message. Oh well.
There have been some big red flags at this new job. As much as I don’t like the idea of a short termer on the résumé, I’m still looking.
“Please stop inhaling hydrogen peroxide to treat COVID, doctors warn”
Don’t tell these dipshits to buy a “room deodorizer” which is really just an ozone (O3) generator. Most models have an ozone sensor, and will cut the thing off when the concentration nears 0.03%, or 3 ppm or something, which is what I think the ambient air quality standard is. However, some models have an over-ride that disables it, allowing you to fill a space with an annoying oxidizer.
Once I was asked to do a (pro bono) mold study for a church that had suffered water damage. The elderly congregants were having a bad time breathing during services, so I was asked to look for that spooky, scary Black Mold (or in a more sensitive was, Mold Of Color). I dropped by after work and started looking around at the walls, baseboards, under the pews. I saw some fungus, but nothing scary. However,while laying on the floor, I smelt was seemed like after a thunderstorm. I walked to one corner of the sanctuary and was nearly knocked over by the ozone funk. These assholes had half a dozen of those machines going full-blast, all set on override.
I told the pastor I took some samples and Id be back the next day. I rented an ozone monitor walked in, and some areas were 20-50 ppm. I told the pastor, “I think I found your problem”.
Whycome you no want oldies get oxygen?
O3 is 50% better than O2!
When I do a metals test, the reagents are 10% HNO3/3%H2O2. Mercury is collected using a solution of 10% H2SO4 and 4% KMnO4. The peroxide comes bulk as 30% v/v. I love showing new people what happens when 2 strong oxidizers (peroxide and permanganate) collide, and the ensuing foamy mess it creates.
Kinda like when an old chemist on staff showed me nitrogen triiodide…
And the choir sang this:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-btLulfFtds
https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2021/09/lt-col-scheller-incarcerated-sent-brig-speaking-loser-us-generals-surrendering-afghanistan-stranding-americans-arming-taliban-terrorists/
Yowza.
Hate-speech.