Saturday Morning Best I Can Do Links

by | Sep 18, 2021 | Daily Links | 185 comments

They don’t do the local morning cartoon deal any more, apparently. This was a big thing when I was a kid, with some TV station personality putting on a costume and being a park ranger or ship captain or astronaut who filled in the spaces between Popeye (the good ones, Fleischer-era), the Three Stooges, and crappier fare like Diver Dan. Too bad, this gave me a taste for cheese. The big deal in my childhood was Lorenzo, a guy dressed up to be a pantomiming hobo with an obsession for lollypops. Oh, and Professor Kool and his Fun Skool. Cap’n Tugg, and some years later, Captain Chesapeake. Saturday mornings just aren’t the same. /adjusts onion on belt

Birthdays today include a guy who did everything except sex toys; the French guy who, unlike Mike, actually did something useful; a pioneer in his craft who did it perfectly; a woman who wanted to be alone; a guy who was not Sephardic; the greatest female voice artist; the other guy whom Oswald didn’t shoot; a pitcher with the longest kick and stretch I’ve ever seen (and delivered the finest pitching performance in MLB history); a guy whom I’d like to introduce to my ex-wife; a sure-fire guarantee that a movie would be funny; a guy who will always be my president, and I hope yours; an accomplished guy who might actually have been a half-decent president and actually WAS racially attacked; a guy who outdid Theisman; Heroic Mulatto’s spirit animal; a brilliant actor who made us love evil; Mr. One Nut himself; and my favorite rapper.

The best I can do here is Links, so… let’s.

 

En greve!

 

We used to do this just for fun. M-80s down the toilet…

 

Fish are racist.

 

Warty hardest hit.

 

Seems legit. Seriously, why would this even be a crime? Oh, right, Europe.

 

Old Guy Music is ultimate boomer.

About The Author

Old Man With Candy

Old Man With Candy

Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me. Wait, wrong book, I'll find something else.

185 Comments

  1. Tres Cool

    whaddup doh’

    • Tres Cool

      The fat guy from Canned Heat always seemed way out of place to me for a basic hippie band.

      • Chafed

        That’s shockingly on point.

      • Chafed

        You’re just jealous he got Mama Cass.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Covfefe! Sup Tres!

      • Tres Cool

        HEY YUFUS!

  2. Ghostpatzer

    Diver Dan! I’m pretty sure he was besties with SEA SMITH.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oEHGIm-70qs

    “He moves among creatures with frightening features”

  3. rhywun

    some TV station personality putting on a costume

    MeTV sort of has one but it’s weekday mornings.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      This? https://www.imdb.com/title/tt13777138/ There is evidently a Svengoolie connection. Read the host’s bio for the story about his middle name.

      • rhywun

        I can’t even with that.

    • R.J.

      They do a big Saturday show. And before Svengoolie is a couple hours of Three Stooges. Tooney is not an awesome mascot though.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Aw, I like him.

    • Drake

      MeTV also does an hour of mostly the good (old) Bugs Bunny cartoons in Saturday morning.

  4. Tres Cool

    WRT to Popeye: an employee at work is, at best, “aesthetically challenged”. I try to call her Alice the Goon. None of the kids gets it.

    Also, I once had a Jeep I named “Eugene”.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      I get it, having watched Tom Hatten on Family Film Festival on KTLA. Besides showing Popeye, he would make drawings out of doodles kids sent in.

      ? Kittehs!: https://www.boredpanda.com/funny-cats-pictures/

      • Sean

        Those are good. ?

  5. The Late P Brooks

    It’s not just the French who are aggrieved

    The US and UK will be sharing technology and expertise with Australia to help it build nuclear-powered submarines as part of a newly-announced defense pact between the three countries. The move has sparked fury in France, which has lost a long-standing agreement to supply Australia with diesel-powered subs.

    But it’s not only the French who are furious. Anti-nuclear groups in Australia, and many citizens, are expressing anger over the deal, worried it may be a Trojan Horse for a nuclear power industry, which the nation has resisted for decades.
    New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern spoke personally to her Australian counterpart, Scott Morrison, to tell him the vessels would not be welcome in the waters of her country, which has been a no-nuclear zone since 1984.

    ——-

    Uranium is a heavy metal found in rocks and seabeds, and it’s a powerful element. One pellet of enriched uranium — about the size of an eraser on the end of pencil — contains the same energy as a ton of coal or three barrels of oil, according to GE Hitachi Nuclear Energy.

    While the process itself generates no emissions, greenhouse gases are generally emitted during the mining of uranium, and the enrichment process can be carbon intensive.

    Nobody tell them where electric cars come from, or batteries.

    It might spoil their smug self-satisfaction.

    • rhywun

      the nation has resisted for decades

      You mean their feckless “leaders”.

    • Loveconstitution1789

      Nuclear is not some magic bullet. Its very expensive to build and operate safely. You have actual radioactive waste that is NIMBY on steroids and many of the isotopes last >1,000 years. Plus, if terrorists get ahold of the waste, they can make cheap dirty bombs that can be very effective.

      On the other side, nuclear produces zero emissions and is very reliable when operated as designed.

      IMO, solar tech and batteries get better every day and nuclear has had a 60 year subsidized head start. Community power grids rather than power lines stretching across the states are probably going to be the future. This allow businesses to utilize residential solar excess during the day and businesses can share their battery surplus at night.

  6. rhywun

    We used to do this just for fun.

    We did? Not all of us were juvenile delinquents, Old Man.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      “Every spring, the toilets explode.”

      • Tres Cool

        “Mr. Blutarsky- zero point zero.”

  7. Ted S.

    a guy who outdid Theisman;

    I guessed Alex Smith.

    • Old Man With Candy

      Alex Smith still limps among us.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Still, those after surgery photos made his calf look like somebody took a hatchet to a pork loin.

    • juris imprudent

      I think Napoleon McCallum deserves some consideration too.

  8. The Late P Brooks

    Black people are just feckless undisciplined children

    North Carolina judges struck down the state’s latest photo voter identification law on Friday, agreeing with minority voters that Republicans rammed through rules tainted by racial bias as a way to remain in power.

    Two of the three trial judges declared the December 2018 law is unconstitutional, even though it was designed to implement a photo voter ID mandate added to the North Carolina Constitution in a referendum just weeks earlier. They said the law intentionally discriminates against Black voters, violating their equal protections.

    The law “was motivated at least in part by an unconstitutional intent to target African American voters,” Superior Court Judges Michael O’Foghludha and Vince Rozier wrote in their 100-page majority opinion.

    \Who seriously believes they are capable of obtaining a state issued ID card? That’s just silly.

    • rhywun

      agreeing with minority voters leftists that Republicans rammed through rules tainted by racial bias

      Edited for accuracy.

    • Sean

      Now do vaccine passports.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Ha!

        No.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Yet somehow the same people who can’t get a driver’s license or ID card, somehow manages to not just go through life, but hire attorneys, file lawsuits, and so on.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    re: Sean/dedthred

    I read A Canticle for Leibowitz in college, or shortly thereafter. I remember it as being really really good.

    • Sean

      I’ve got stacks of books to read, but that was my most recent purchase, so it sits on top. I expect it will probably be the next one I get to…one of these days.

    • Spartacus

      I read it as part of a college course on science fiction as literature. I remember it being good, but (a) it was almost 40 years ago and (b) we had to read 11 books in 15 weeks so some of them are a bit of a blur.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    I just love all those headlines featuring exultant gloating over “[Person] who opposed vax/masks/sensibleprecautions now has (or, better, has died from) the worstest most uniquest plague in human history.” Die, heretics, die.

    Vengeance of the Plague Gods, FTW!

    • rhywun

      The only thing TMITE loves more is when it’s a dead child.

    • Trigger Hippie

      It’s completely meaningless.

      One could easily focus on the myriad of potential stories available about “Masked and Vaccinated Person Dies of Covid” but narratives must be driven.

      • Nephilium

        They’re about the same as the “I used to be a [gun owner/libertarian/free speech advocate/omnivore] but have come to the light of the new order, and have found that I was wrong all this time” articles that were fodder for the rags in the before times.

  11. robodruid

    Good Morning Gibbs:

    In todays report on shopping shortages, Sams Club is limiting people to one package of toilet paper. One package of paper towels.
    No limits on alcohol.

    Aldi seems to have had a run on meat. they were at about 1/3 full.

    • Sean

      Not even a little surprised. It’s going to get worse.

    • rhywun

      Yeah, I noticed the paper product shortage is back the other day. Here we go again.

    • I. B. McGinty

      We got take out from Cracker Barrel last night and they didn’t have chicken breasts. They had bone in. I settled for meat loaf.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Bronkaid shortage too, at least locally. Without it I’ll fall asleep mid-sennn

    • dbleagle

      That was very good. She has a helluva voice.

  12. Trigger Hippie

    ‘Franck Teboul, the president of the Toulouse chapter of the CRIF umbrella group of French Jewish communities, said it was reminiscent of a recent decision in France not to try the killer of a Paris Jewish woman who during the 2017 slaying of Sarah Halimi spewed antisemitic slurs and shouted about Allah. A court ruled that Kabili Traore was too high on marijuana to make him responsible for his actions.’

    OFFS!!!

    That’s not how pot works…that’s not how any of this works.

    • rhywun

      Yeah, that bit caught me off guard. Personal responsibility schmersonal responsibility.

    • Nephilium

      Really? Explain California.

      🙂

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Boogaloopalooza

    Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin placed 100 National Guard troops on standby to help protect the Capitol ahead of Saturday’s rally supporting people charged in the deadly Jan. 6 pro-Trump insurrection.

    Hundreds of far-right demonstrators are expected in the District of Columbia for the “Justice For J6” rally, a reference to the Jan. 6 storming of the U.S. Capitol by supporters of former President Donald Trump in an attempt to disrupt the confirmation of Joe Biden as the next president.

    The 100 National Guard troops will only deploy upon the request of the Capitol Police and will help man entry points to the Capitol complex, a Pentagon spokesman said Friday. The spokesman added that the troops will only be used after local, state and federal law enforcement capabilities have been tapped.

    The USCP has not asked the National Guard members to be armed, Capitol Police Chief Tom Manger told reporters at a press conference Friday afternoon.

    Manger said police are “hearing some chatter” and that “we would be foolish not to take seriously the intelligence we have at our disposal.” He noted that similar threats ahead of the Jan. 6 attack “turned out to be in fact credible, so we’re not taking any chances.”

    \We will defend this holy place to the last man.

    • juris imprudent

      Then out spake brave Horatius,
      The Captain of the Gate:
      “To every man upon this earth
      Death cometh soon or late.
      And how can man die better
      Than facing fearful odds,
      For the ashes of his fathers,
      And the temples of his Gods.”

      • Cy Esquire

        Once more into the breach?

      • juris imprudent

        Yeah, I don’t think the USCP have either Horatius’ or Henry’s spirit.

    • Rat on a train

      “This We’ll Defend”, your rights not so much.

    • Drake

      They took down the border wall at put it around the imperial city.

    • Brawndo

      “The 100 National Guard troops will only deploy upon the request of the Capitol Police and will help man entry points to the Capitol complex”

      By “manning entry points”, you actually mean “let protesters inside”?

      • CPRM

        The Capitol Police now command the state militias? That isn’t how this whole federalism thing is supposed to work.

      • Gustave Lytton

        DC isn’t a state. Yet.

    • Loveconstitution1789

      Send in the British. The British know how to burn Washington DC…oh wait.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    But wait…

    The chief added that “the most likely scenario for violence” is the possibility of the protesters clashing with counterdemonstrators. Capitol Police are aware of at least three counter-protest groups planning to gather, one of which has more of a history of violence than the others.

    It would be an intolerable affront to antifa for those people to be allowed to exercise their rights. They must be silenced.

    • rhywun

      one of which has more of a history of violence than….

      …anyone else who will be present.

      With the possible exception of any trigger-happy cops.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    “Mr. Blutarsky- zero point zero.”

    “Seven years of college, down the drain.”

  16. Plinker762

    A lollypop craving hobo and a guy named Captain Tugg. Did these shows take place in a pizza parlor?

    • Chafed

      Yes, in the basement.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    News report from Ass Backwards Land

    California Gov. Gavin Newsom has called his decisive victory in this week’s recall election a win for vaccines and science. The data backs him up.

    A CNBC analysis of county-level results — which are preliminary as mail-in ballots continue to be tallied — found a strong link between support for Newsom and counties with high Covid vaccination rates as of Election Day, Sept. 14.

    People in counties with high Covid vaccination rates overwhelmingly voted to keep him in office. Conversely, people in counties with lower vaccination rates voted to oust the governor.

    Apparently the vaccine turns you into a Democrat.

    Fucking logic- how does it work?

    • rhywun

      “Today in Stating the Obvious”

    • DrOtto

      I just read this as “you’re going to be punished for even trying”.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    At least California was spared the ignominious shame of having an uppity negro Republikkkin in the governor’s mansion.

    • Plinker762

      Uncle Toms are the worst, right after Nikki.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    How can this be?

    Two of California Governor Gavin Newsom’s children have tested positive for COVID-19 — but Newsom himself does not have the virus, his office said Friday.

    “The governor’s children tested positive for COVID-19,” Newsom spokesperson Erin Mellon said in a statement, according to Politico.

    “The governor, the first partner, and the other two children have since tested negative. The family is following all COVID protocols, the Newsoms continued to support masking for unvaccinated individuals to stop the spread and advocate for vaccinations as the most effective way to end the pandemic.”

    But I have been repeatedly assured that faithfully following the doomsday cult rituals will keep us all safe.

    • rhywun

      He will just use this as “proof” that kids need the prick and blame the unclean for killing his children.

      • Urthona

        yeah really it fits his narrative perfectly because he is vaccinated and doesn’t have it

      • hayeksplosives

        “First partner” is not weird language at all…

        Newsom is so mad that he had to lose sleep over the recall, he’s going on a revenge bender.

        Brace yourself. I’m leaving Cali but still expect to get hit by retroactive taxes, etc.

      • Rat on a train

        You must pay the Reichsfluchtsteuer.

      • juris imprudent

        I’m leaving Cali but still expect to get hit by retroactive taxes, etc.

        I’ve been gone 7 years and I still won’t be surprised by a letter from the Franchise Tax Board.

      • Old Man With Candy

        That happened to me. Got a letter from the FTB “imputing” income to me for two or three years after I had escaped. Eventually, I got out of it, but it took quite a bit of effort and documentation.

      • Loveconstitution1789

        My law office represented an ex Taxifornia resident against the Franchise tax board.

        Some advice:
        -tax collection statute of limitations is 20 years.
        -If you owe Commifornia and youre not going to pay and you live outside CA, make sure you stick with state credit unions and dont get tax refunds. CA requires all national banks report social security numbers of customers, so they will seize your assets even if you dont live in CA anymore. Banks/credit unions that dont do business in CA avoid this problem.
        -dont miss deadlines to contest the tax owed. If you default on the deadline, they ignore you appeal.
        -use your new state and its laws against the FTB. FTB can be aggressive and once they conduct any business in your new state, you can haul them into state court. Normally citizens of one state cant sue other states. That only applies when the one state doesnt harass the citizens of other states.
        -Also be aware of the full faith and credit clause.
        -see Gilbert Hyatt case.

    • Fourscore

      Does not havng a ‘first’ partner imply that there is a second, 3rd or even 4th partner? What is a first partner? A live in? A hooker? Both?
      I can’t keep up with the nusiance, opps, Newsom family or even non-family.

      I’m so old I remember when you called a relationship Auntie or Uncle or Cousin.

    • Nephilium

      The rules are only for the little people, not for the elite. Case in point (TW: Fox News):

      San Francisco mayor defiant after caught maskless in nightclub despite mandate: Don’t need ‘fun police’

      But Breed’s own city ordinance, one of the strictest in the country, requires masks indoors, vaccinated or not, unless the person is actively eating or drinking.

      “My drink was sitting at the table. I got up and started dancing because I was feeling the spirit and I wasn’t thinking about a mask,” Breed explained. “I was thinking about having a good time and in the process I was following the health orders.”

      • CPRM

        “I was thinking about having a good time and in the process I was following the health orders.”

        Unlike anyone else, who when they are not wearing a mask are thinking about about having a bad time.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Read: “Because I was tipsy.”

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Total collapse is probably necessary at this point.

    • juris imprudent

      Even better Bee

      2. Both of them will be returning any day now. – Admittedly one of these is more likely to happen than the other.

    • Q Continuum

      “You can not betray the one to which you were never loyal.”

      Ouch.

  20. hayeksplosives

    Guten Morgen, Alles.

    For those few of you following my saga of just trying to get my own money into my hot hands so I can buy a house before the market collapses, get this email that just came in minutes ago on a Saturday:

    Your payment from the 401(k) Savings Plan completed as of September 17, 2021.

    Your monies will be issued on September 21, 2021. Allow for standard mailing time for any portion of your payment that is scheduled to be mailed. Allow 1-2 business days for any portion that will be direct deposited into your account.

    Now, a reasonable person would go “Why should it take so long? What are the obstacles that we need to overcome to make it faster?”

    But reason (drink) has nothing to do with it. They want to squeeze this lemon for days to make as much as they can.

    Fuck them. Fuck them all. It’s my money, and the only reason it’s enough to fight over is because I put a small chunk of it in “Self Directed” brokerage; small chunk is now 40% of overall account. So the experts (HA!) can kiss my ass.

    • Loveconstitution1789

      There is one catch. Your 401k was made up of securities and those need to be sold off. That is one reason for the delay. Paperwork is another reason. The other reasons are probably bullshit excuses builtin to the withdrawal process.

      Honestly, its why people diversify their financial portfolios so you have certain investments that are quicker to get cash.

      401k, stocks, IRAs, bonds, and similar securities are not known for getting quick cash.

    • hayeksplosives

      Holy cow, those are brutal. And hilarious.

      • KSuellington

        Wife and I went out to eat in the county next door (to avoid having to show my papers in SF) and since I ignored the mask sign I was asked by the hostess to put on a mask before we could be seated in a restaurant of bout 150 unmasked patrons. She didn’t appreciate my joke asking if I could take it off to eat.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The cognitive dissonance involved in that little charade of virus control is quite astounding.

        It demonstrates how little the authorities care about whether we believe them or not. Our trust is not necessary to them, just our compliance.

      • KSuellington

        It really is. Some weeks ago there was a news story about the Vid spreading by flatulence. If the health police made a mandate I would not be surprised to see a run on butt plugs. “My butt plug protects you and yours protects me.”

      • Chafed

        London Breed is exhibit eleventy.

  21. Sean

    Woohoo! I won $2.

    On a $10 ticket ?.

    • hayeksplosives

      Woo-hoo! Lived to lose another day.

      I run the office lotto pool. We can’t use certain words in email, so call it The Society for the Statistically Impaired.”

      I have to transfer that duty off to some lucky victim next week before I go…

      • Sean

        “The Society for the Statistically Impaired.”

        I like it.

      • hayeksplosives

        Thanks.

        It occurred to me that if we actually won, it’d need to have some legal backing so I got a notebook (a black book as engineers will know) and put the Society title on front, then kept careful records of who’s in any particular week, how much we won in piddly amounts and how I used those funds (always to buy more tickets).

        Winning would have been awesome but winning without paperwork could have ruined my life.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Lots of stories of unhappy office pools. Not that records would stop that, but better than hearsay.

      • juris imprudent

        Judging from CA voting habits, it shouldn’t be difficult finding someone to take that on.

      • rhywun

        *snort*

      • Hyperion

        Why anyone imagined a Republican getting more than 30% of the vote in CA is beyond my imagination. Those people are institutionalized. And it’s going to get a lot worse judging by how easy it is to get college students to sign a petition to get rid of the Constitution.

    • CPRM

      You’re the kind of customer we like at my business. ‘I won $3000!’ (after putting $5000 in)

      • CPRM

        The Best, Most Classy customers then put that $3000 back in to try to win back that $5000.

      • Fourscore

        Yeah me too, . I see you are in the stock market, too.

      • Fourscore

        Yesterday at the local store in Podunkville, a gentleman ahead of me, wearing a mask, bought a lottery ticket. I started laughing, his chances of winning the lottery are better than his odds at catching the virus. A true believer….

      • CPRM

        Well, his odds of catching it are probably better, but his odds of getting sick and dying on the other hand…

      • Nephilium

        At the casinos in Vegas, I saw several people there with double masks, face shields, and gloves on playing the slot machines. This shows that they understand statistics!

      • CPRM

        #SCIENCE

  22. Not Adahn

    Cap’n Tugg

    OMWC’s origin story.

  23. Cy Esquire

    “Written when attitudes toward native fish were grounded in elements of racism and even sexism, these archaic regulations continue to shape fisheries management today—often to the detriment of native fishes.”

    What in the fuck?!!?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      “often to the detriment of native fishes.” God I hope so, there’s a lot of fish up here that need catchin’

    • hayeksplosives

      Motherfukkin WordPress ate my comment.

      I was trying to say that it was obviously institutional racism and sexism that led Hawaii to name their state fish humuhumunukunukuapuaa,.

      Just hearing the name spoken aloud is triggering…

      • hayeksplosives

        (Ok, I’ll spare you the Internet search; the humuhumunukunukuapuaa is also known as the “reef triggerfish”)

        /Cliff Clavin

      • CPRM

        reef triggerfish

        coulda used a trigger warning there.

      • KSuellington

        Those things are pretty damn tasty, I’ve caught lots of them from the shore in Mexico. (I’m totally not a fish racist).

    • Tulip

      Or, the fish and wildlife departments stock game fish and thus regulate the game fish instead of the native fish. Depending on your perspective, that’s also problematic, but for different reasons. Just not the reason du jour.

    • Q Continuum

      Notice they also slipped “climate crisis” in there.

      I’m waiting until it gets upgraded to “climate apocalypse”.

    • Akira

      What in the fuck?!!?

      Ya know, in 2011/2012 or so, when the Woke shit really started to take off, people assured me that this was merely a tiny but loud minority of bored college students who just want something to scream about. I would have liked to believe that, but it’s clear to me that the exact opposite happened. The Wokeism has metastasized and is now sinking its tendrils into every government agency and corporation by the minute.

      The book “The Parasitic Mind” by Dr. Gad Saad lays this out very well.

  24. Not Adahn

    I am grateful to that manager at the restaurant who introduced me to bitters and soda.

    • Nephilium

      Bitters were originally sold as digestive/medicinal aids. Do you need some Underberg up there?

      • Hyperion

        Bitters were what the wiminz folk hid in the outhouse alongside their alabaster dildos.

      • Hyperion

        “Bitters were originally sold as digestive/medicinal aids.”

        Strong liquor is still sold as medicinal aid, you just can’t say that in your marketing. The thing that bitters had though that made them superior is some morphine or heroin added into the 50%+ alcohol content.

      • Not Adahn

        No, it’s just yummy and not really alcoholic. Reagan’s Orange at the moment.

        But yeah, the first time it was given to me was when I was having severe indigestion.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    Yesterday at the local store in Podunkville, a gentleman ahead of me, wearing a mask, bought a lottery ticket. I started laughing, his chances of winning the lottery are better than his odds at catching the virus. A true believer….

    My brother, who is a True Believer Branch Covidian, rides horses.

    It’s not worth it to tell him he’d be a lot better off staying away from horses than wearing that idiotic muzzle.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    html tags are overrated.

    • Ted S.

      And then there are the whack jobs who think threading is overrated, too.

  27. Hyperion

    It’s beyond obvious that fish are racists. Let’s look at the facts.

    We have White Fish. We have Brown Trout. We have Yellowfin Tuna. We have Red Snapper.

    But let me ask you, where’s the black fish? You ever heard of a black fish?

    RACIST FISH! It’s time to ban fish!

      • Hyperion

        You know those have been renamed to African Sea Bass, right?

      • KSuellington

        “We have now received reports that Africanized black sea bass have entered the territorial waters of the United States and are steadily spreading northward, destroying populations of the more docile European sea bass commonly found in these waters. They are considered highly dangerous and will swarm swimmers and attack unprovoked.”

      • CPRM

        +1 Super Predators

      • Hyperion

        lol

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        But African Sea Bass aren’t Migratory,

    • CPRM

      Don’t even get me started on how racist the term Sea ‘Monkey’ is!

      • CPRM

        I mean, I’m not racist for associating ‘monkeys’ with black people, but all the people who don’t are seriously fucking racist.

  28. Mojeaux

    My kitty is missing.

    • Hyperion

      Poor kitty, cat abuser!

    • Gender Traitor

      Ruh roh! How long has s/he been gone??

      • Mojeaux

        Yesterday afternoon. The only reasons he wouldn’t come when called is if he is in someone’s house or he’s dead.

      • Gender Traitor

        Post on local FB or Nextdoor sites, then maybe go lookin’?

      • Mojeaux

        Been looking. Already posted on both.

        He’s a generic black cat with a collar, tags, and he’s chipped.

      • Gender Traitor

        When now dearly departed George Kitteh Chatterbox Underfoot etc. went missing for a week back when, he turned out to be hiding under the next door neighbor’s yard barn.

    • CPRM

      What is it missing? You throwing a party?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I’m sorry, hope you find Kittah,

    • Nephilium

      Porch cat showed up on our front porch again, but I doubt it’s yours.

  29. Gender Traitor

    html tags are overrated.

    So are threaded comments, amirite?

    • Hyperion

      And edit fairies too I suppose.

  30. The Late P Brooks

    If having your snapper blackened isn’t racism in action, I don’t know what is.

    • Hyperion

      Yes, it’s like black face on a Whitefish.

      • Ted S.

        Or 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife.

    • R C Dean

      “having your snapper blackened“

      So now mixed race couples are racist?

      • Hyperion

        “So now mixed race couples are racist?”

        Where have you been? Those couples often take on the evil traits of whiteness, like hard work and capitalism.

    • Hyperion

      When they start using their cell phones is when it gets bad.

      Oh noes, the latest SpaceX rocket just crashed into the international space station because the pilot was on her cell phone!

      • creech

        Was she Asian?

      • Hyperion

        Wait, I thought the term Asian is racist? Aren’t we supposed to use ‘Persons of Yellow’ now?

      • Nephilium

        To steal from the Disc… Aurientals, people from the place where the gold is.

  31. egould310

    Landed in Newark this morning. Drove to Saratoga Springs. Sipping vodka and soda. Eastern time zone is weird. The Ohio State game doesn’t start for four more hours.

    • Hyperion

      “Landed in Newark this morning.”

      I’m sorry.

    • Sensei

      So it was you that I heard.

    • Not Adahn

      Wait, what? Where are you?

    • Not Adahn

      I can recommend a dog park, a couple of gun ranges and a couple of bars.

      The Farmer’s market’s still going on if you’re downtown.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    And then there are the whack jobs who think threading is overrated, too.

    I yam what I yam.

    • Hyperion

      So sayeth the king of the breaker of threads.

  33. R C Dean

    Random thought:

    When the hostages in Afghanistan don’t file their taxes on time, will the IRS fine them and seize their assets?

    • Sensei

      Yes.

      Next question please.

    • Raven Nation

      Hah!

      Along those lines, there are New Zealanders who visited Australia but now can’t get back to NZ because of the travel restrictions. Those same people are now losing at least portions of their government pensions ( = Social Security), because they have been out of the country too long.

    • Not Adahn

      The room and board provided by the taliban needs to be reported as imputed income.

  34. KSuellington

    One of my favorite new bands just released an album that I just put an order in for the vinyl. A quick listen had this as one of my favorite tracks. They also have a nice Jay-Z cover on the album.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bejAj8MCic

    • hayeksplosives

      America will never win another war, even on our own soil.

      • Sensei

        Correct.

  35. Evan from Evansville

    I am in a huge, long, pointless, (though for me something that I enjoy) argument on FB about the efficacy of masks. They are trying to say that they are useful. She finally sent a few links after a month of trying to claim that masks are useful. My claim to her was to present: Studies that involved humans in real-world settings, long-term, and with demonstrable control groups. She ignored me for over a week. Then she came back at me with several studies. It’s 1:20am here and I only read one of them and I already have issues with the study and its efficacy.

    I’ll have to read the others at a later time. However, does any dr folk around us here have any convenient source of the 100+ years of mask studies showing that they are absolutely useless (and most likely aptly dangerous)? I am not willing to bend my knee to this lady. I don’t want to break the link standards, but here’s the Stanford one she posted:

    https://med.stanford.edu/…/09/surgical-masks-covid-19.html

    Another comes from pnas.org “An evidence review of face masks against COVID-19” and another from nbc that I haven’t even bothered to check out yet, cuz I’m certain it’s useless.

    I hope all are well and good!