Sled Hockey Weekend, San Antonio Edition

by | Oct 26, 2021 | Fitness, Sports | 149 comments

I’ve wanted to write something about my sled hockey experiences but I never settled on a format. So I thought I’d take you through a recent tournament weekend.

But First, a Little Bit About Sled Hockey

Sled Hockey (aka Adaptive Hockey or Sledge Hockey for you Canucks) is an adaptive sport that was developed by some disabled guys in Sweden in the 1960’s. It’s the fastest growing adaptive sport, probably because it’s just like its non-adaptive counterpart in terms of game play, speed, and physicality. The ice rink, goals, pucks, and protective equipment are the same as regular hockey. The player sits strapped in a sled that has skate blades, and holds two short sticks that have sharp points on one end to propel the sled and a blade at the other end to handle the puck and shoot. Here’s a quick highlight reel from the last Paralympics to give you a visual. 

How Did I Get Here?

I started playing about 6 years ago. A random guy (now my teammate) came up to me in church one Sunday and asked if I wanted to try it out. He played for a team in South Bend, IN, and also for the Blackhawks in Chicago. I told him it sounded great, and ended up playing a year in South Bend. The whole time he kept asking me to come to a Chicago Blackhawks practice. I kept putting it off because it was a longer drive and the practices were at night. But I am a big Blackhawks fan, so I relented, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Chicago has two teams, Chicago A and Chicago B. In the two national tournaments, the teams are grouped by Tier, from 1 being the highest to 5 being the lowest. If any club team has a player on the US National Team, then that club team is automatically placed in Tier 1. Chicago A plays in Tier 1, and Chicago B plays in Tier 5. Which means that when Chicago A wins a national tournament, they are the best club team in the USA. That has happened a few times since I’ve been there. In addition to the national tournaments, clubs organize themselves into leagues with 4 or 5 other teams and travel to each others rinks for 3 or 4 weekend tournaments each season. Our Chicago teams are in two separate leagues.

We are very fortunate in Chicago to have some major sponsorships, so the team can afford to pay for plane tickets and hotel rooms when we travel. Bigger programs have that kind of budget, but most smaller programs (including my old team in South Bend) didn’t have that kind of budget, so tournaments were within driving distance and you paid your own way if you needed a hotel room.

The Road to San Antonio

I play for Chicago B, mostly because Chicago A is usually stacked with National Team members and veteran players who keep coming back. I have played up a handful of times. This year some people didn’t return after the year long COVID break so there is some room for some of us to play up for a few tournaments. For the first tournament of the year, in San Antonio, it was my turn.

Our two National Team guys, Travis Dodson and Kevin McKee, were playing this weekend. Supposedly National Team players on the other teams were taking the time off from club tournaments to train for the upcoming Paralympics, but at the last minute they all decided to play. Which made for an interesting weekend. Normally we play against San Antonio, St. Louis, Nashville, and Colorado, but this year Nashville dropped out due to a problem with funding.

Diary of a Hockey Player

Here’s the rundown of my weekend.

Friday, 3:40am. After a night of restless sleep due to nerves, I get up, get dressed, and head out the door toward Chicago. I had everything packed the night before into one big rolling duffel bag, which sits in the back seat of my car.

Friday, 5:30am. I arrive at the not so aptly named “economy” lot at O’Hare Airport and park my car. I hook the duffel behind my wheelchair and drag the 50 pound beast to the airport shuttle.

Friday, 6:15am. I meet some of my other teammates at the terminal and check in. After that it’s time for fun with the TSA. I can’t stand up in the Rape Scanners so I have to get hand searched. Lucky me, this time the guy is in training and has his supervisor watching. It is the most thoroughly violated I have been at an airport and it took forever. One of my teammates, who could walk, just watched the whole thing with a “WTF?” look on his face.

Friday, 7:50am. Finally we’re on the plane and in the air. I take a nap and sleep through the beverage and snack service.

Friday, 10:58am. We land in San Antonio. Someone from the San Antonio team arrives with a trailer and takes our hockey bags to the rink. We get three rental cars (two pickup trucks and a Tahoe, this is Texas), get some pizza, and head to the rink for our first game.

Friday, 3:30pm. We play our first game against the San Antonio Rampage. This is an all-veteran team. It features Rico Roman (whom you might have seen on TV commercials) and Jen Lee, the US National back-up goalie who it could be argued is the best sled goalie in the world. Or at least the second best. This team is pretty big and likes to hit. We dominate possession but lose 3-2 due to the aforementioned insanely talented goalie. I play about a third of the game, and I’m noticing this time I’m faster than about half the other team. This is a big improvement from last time I played at this level. Here’s a badly formatted video from this game. I’m the short one wearing #2 in red.

Friday, 6:30pm. After a shower at the hotel, we have a team dinner at a Tex-Mex restaurant. Next we grab some alcohol at the local grocery store, and then hang out in the hotel meeting room drinking. I mention that I’ve taken my “nighttime meds” (blood pressure, natural muscle relaxer, ibuprofen, magnesium). Someone brought a Bluetooth speaker that looks like a lava lamp. I’m fascinated, and the possible link between this and my meds becomes a running joke the rest of the weekend.

Saturday, 7:00am. We have two games today. The free hotel breakfast is adequate. We load into the pickups and head down the street to the rink.

Saturday, 8:30am. Our second game is against the St. Louis Blues. They have the highly talented Team USA captain Josh Pauls, and usually have the #1 goalie Steve Cash, but luckily Cash decided not to play. Being a forward, it’s my job to “cover” defenseman Pauls. The best I could do is kind of skate with him, but he has zero problem getting around me. We’re up 4-1 at one point, but they employ the “give the puck to Pauls” strategy. He skates through all of us and scores several times. In this game, I score my first A Team goal. Travis gave me a sweet pass from behind the net and I buried a one-timer from close in, just like we’ve practices for the past year. We end up winning 8-7 in a shootout. Luckily the game is won before my turn to shoot and possibly make a fool of myself. In the locker room, our coach gives me the game puck.

The game puck

Saturday, 10:20am. We stop to eat some subs, then have a few hours to shower and nap.

Saturday, 5:00pm. Time for our third game vs. the Colorado Avalanche. I have a long history of hating this team. When I was in South Bend, we played their kids team. They also have 3 adult teams, and over the years I’ve played one or two of those. In every instance, the were dominant and tended to run up the score like assholes. The team tonight has mostly players from the US National Development team. So they are fast and skilled. In this game I feel way over my head. It’s hard for me to keep up, though I do get in a few hits. Despite an early 2-0 lead, we get worn out halfway through the game, give up 6 straight goals, and lose 8-4. It would have ended at 8-3 but US Kevin fired a shot from our zone at the end and it went in less than one second before the buzzer.

Saturday, 7:00pm. We have dinner at a very sketchy BBQ place called Rudy’s. It’s attached to a gas station. But being BBQ fan and an Indiana resident I’m keeping an open mind. The brisket is out of this world, and the sides were pretty good too. Would recommend.

Saturday, 9:00pm. Another shower and we meet in the hotel lobby for more alcohol. I share a few glasses of pino with one of my teammates. Sadly the mesmerizing speaker was left in someone’s room. I am sad.

Sunday, 8:00am. Another adequate hotel breakfast, then off to the rink.

Sunday, 9:30am. Our fourth game, against St. Louis again because of Nashville dropping out. I’m definitely tired and sore and I feel like I’ve lost a step.  But Travis and  US Kevin keep putting them away like they did all weekend. Another one of my teammates, who’s had a ton of chances all weekend but no goals, finally gets one that bounces off his chest. A goal’s a goal. We win 9-2.

Sunday, 12:30pm. My teammate and I celebrate his goal by making sure the rest of that bottle of pino doesn’t go to waste. After a shower we check out of the hotel. Some of my teammates are huge into betting so we hit a bar to eat and watch the football games. Next we head to the airport.

Sunday, 5:00pm. We take off from San Antonio. My teammate, looking out for my well being, asks the two sorority girls in front of me to hit me when the beverage cart comes by so I don’t sleep through it this time. The sorority girls are cute so maybe I should have pretended to be asleep. Miraculously the flight is on time and lands 25 minutes early. It doesn’t take too long to get my bag and drag that beast to my car.

Sunday, 11:00pm. I’m home! I have time to unpack and throw in a load of laundry, and then it’s time for bed. This is an early night for a Sunday. After practice I’m usually in bed 2 hours later.

Am I Crazy?

I’ll be 50 in a month, so nobody will fault me for sitting on the couch watching Netflix all night. Instead I’m driving to Chicago for practice twice a week year round, to play a sport where I could, and have, get injured. Most of my side of the family thinks I’m nuts. My mom thinks I’m going to get shot on the expressway. But weekends like this make it worth it. When you are disabled, you spend most of your life trying NOT to get hurt. There are few opportunities to do something physically demanding that even able-bodied people have a hard time doing. On the ice, you’re not disabled. You’re an athlete. You get pushed hard by your coach, your teammates, your opponents, and yourself. Nobody is feeling sorry for you. It is a kind of freedom you find nowhere else.

I am blessed. I get to play a sport I love with some of my best friends. I get to travel around the country for free. I get to stay in nice hotels, and sometimes really crappy hotels. I get those great moments where I score a goal or make a great play. I get those very surreal moments where I’m on the ice bumping shoulders with the best players in the world. I get to watch the Paralympics this winter having known and been on the ice with most of the players.

My wife is also famous for doing crazy things like skydiving, powerlifting, and playing roller derby. I’ve always encouraged it. There will be a time when we physically can’t do things like this. There is no taking a break and coming back 10 years later. So we do it while we can, and live life so we have great stories to tell.

 

About The Author

The Other Kevin

The Other Kevin

Indiana Man, father of 3, programmer, and sled hockey player.

149 Comments

  1. DEG

    You aren’t crazy. In fact, it sounds like you’re having a hell of a good time.

    • The Other Kevin

      I am, and I’m lucky it barely costs me anything.

    • juris imprudent

      I’d say more than a good time, flat out awesome!

  2. Dr. Fronkensteen

    52 here and I do boxing and Krav Maga. I get it. There will be a time soon when I can’t do these things either so I’ll keep going as long as I can as safely as I can.

  3. hayeksplosives

    Sounds like quite an adventure! Thanks for the insight as to how it works with the tiers and how the teams relate to the US Paralympic team.

    I’m glad your teammate roped you into it.

    • The Other Kevin

      Thanks! I have messaged about hockey so I thought it would be helpful to explain all of that. I have some high profile tournaments coming up and I might write about those if anyone is interested.

      • Tulip

        Yes

      • Jerms

        Would love to read about those as well. Very inspiring stuff. Made my day Kevin thanks for writing this.

      • The Other Kevin

        Thanks! I have a lot of games to play this season, so I’ll keep writing.

      • R.J.

        I loved this and would like to see more.

  4. db

    Cool! I didn’t know you played at such a high level. It’s a rush when you get to compete alongside the best in the world at something and push yourself to keep up.

    • The Other Kevin

      I usually don’t play at this level, so for me it’s a big deal when I do. It really is a rush to be right next to those guys and see that talent up close.

  5. Sean

    *points to avatar*

    Thanks for the article.

    • The Other Kevin

      You’re welcome. I’ve wanted to do this for a while, but this time I just took notes on my phone during the weekend and it made writing a lot easier.

  6. ron73440

    You are probably crazy, but that’s good.

    Not crazy is sitting on the couch. Not crazy sucks!

    I am 50 and still run and go to the gym. I took a year off after retiring from the Marines and now I regret that as I try to get back in shape.

    Fight as long as you can and then a little more.

    Excellent article, thanks for sharing.

  7. EvilSheldon

    You, sir, are bad to the bone.

  8. db

    holds two short sticks that have sharp points on one end to propel the sled and a blade at the other end

    This sounds totally safe. 🙂

    • juris imprudent

      Like the Irish game of hurling – you put 30 guys out on a field, with sticks, and they can hit each other?

    • The Other Kevin

      There was a guy on the St. Louis team who was a bit liberal with his sticks. I didn’t get gashed but two of my teammates did.

  9. pistoffnick

    Excellent article, TOK. I have always loved watching hockey. I’m jealous because I can’t skate worth shit.

  10. Tundra

    Beautiful, Kev.

    Am I Crazy?

    Nope. You are a stud!

    • The Other Kevin

      Thanks!

  11. Fourscore

    I was totally unfamiliar with the game, had never heard of it even until I met you here and learned a little. To watch you guys shooting around the ice was absolutely amazing. You and your friends are truly inspirational.

    Keep it up until you can’t, TOK. I know about the being old part but this morning I did my exercises on the Weider machine, then walked 3 MPH for a mile on the tread mill. I’ll be in my deer stand in a couple weeks. I believe I can get down and back up after dressing out a deer but can’t drag it in, that’s what friends are for.

    I won’t park in a handicapped spot, that’s for handicapped people. Many are coasters, using someone else’s card, we’ve all seen them.

    • The Other Kevin

      Thank you. I never tried sports growing up, and I’m lucky I found this one. I think the intensity has a lot to do with disable vets. Those guys are super disciplined and competitive. Unfortunately there are a lot of them out there.

      Good to hear you’re doing well and you’re able to keep doing what you love. Good luck this hunting season.

      • Shpip

        I think the intensity has a lot to do with disable vets. Those guys are super disciplined and competitive.

        I seem to recall some of your anecdotes from the tourney north of Tampa a couple of years ago. Left me chortling, and my wife horrified, they way those dudes rag on each other.

      • Tundra

        Chirping is an essential part of hockey.

        Like this.

      • slumbrew

        I don’t blame you though Suzanne, I mean, well see, women’s bodies are beautiful. But men’s bodies, see I see ’em everywhere you know, in the locker rooms, their cocks all over the place and everything…

    • Tundra

      You’re my hero, Fourscore.

      • Fourscore

        Well, I’m waiting for the caged match between you and Jimbo, that’s on my list of things to do.

        Thanks but over rated

      • Swiss Servator

        You going to have a book on that? I’ll have to see odds before I lay any money down.

  12. Zwak, sensual panzer

    I will be 51 here in a couple of months, and, well, I have MS. So, while my issues are different, it is great to read of things like this. We all need to work with ourselves and what cards we were dealt. I often twitch uncontrollably, so I am starting to work on precision shooting. I can do it in my basement, it is fairly cheap, and, most importantly, it challenges my body. I am not a very competitive person, and when I played bar league pool, I found that aspect uninteresting, but I did find that challenging myself to get better worked wonders.

    • Fourscore

      When I see what you and TOK and others are doing I’m embarrassed for feeling down once in a while. Keep it up and not to worry about the calendar.

      • Zwak, sensual panzer

        Hell, Fourscore, you are an inspiration to us all.

  13. Ghostpatzer

    That is great stuff, absolutely amazing and very entertaining, I would pay to watch from the stands (if I were permitted to be there, which I apparently won’t once Murphy is re-elected here in NJ).

    There will be a time when we physically can’t do things like this. There is no taking a break and coming back 10 years later. So we do it while we can, and live life so we have great stories to tell.

    Ain’t that the truth. I can’t do today the things I did 10 years ago, but I do the things I can do now (walk, mostly) that I may not be able to do tomorrow.

    • The Other Kevin

      I will be playing in NJ the weekend before Thanksgiving. That’s one of the two national tournaments this year.

      • Ghostpatzer

        Cool! In Wayne, Nov 18-21? That’s about a 40-minute drive for me. If our governor, PBUH, permits I will try to get there at least once.

      • The Other Kevin

        Yes! I’ll be in the lower Tier, probably Tier 5 this time. I’ll post on Glibs when they release the schedule. Hopefully they will allow spectators. I know you’d pay to see this, but I’ve never played in a tournament that wasn’t free for spectators.

  14. trshmnstr the terrible

    Do the sticks have some sort of texture for gripping the ice, or are y’all maneuvering using your hands?

    • Tundra

      …two short sticks that have sharp points on one end to propel the sled and a blade at the other end to handle the puck and shoot.

      The speed that these dudes play at is absolutely amazing. It’s good hockey.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Thanks! The reading comprehension part of my brain needs a sharp stick or two.

    • The Other Kevin

      They have picks at one end, but you turn using your core and you can lean on your hands. We go through a lot of gloves. I use FlexSeal on mine to help them last longer.

      • l0b0t

        …gloves. I use FlexSeal…

        HOT DAMN!!! A wonderful article AND a great DIY tip? Thanks a lot Kevin, you are the greatest.

  15. Mojeaux

    Fan-freakin’-tastic!!!

  16. Gustave Lytton

    Time for our third game vs. the Colorado Avalanche. I have a long history of hating this team.

    I’m still disappointed that their affiliate and namesake NHL team dropped the Ice Girls.

    • The Other Kevin

      The NHL Blackhawks dropped their Ice Girls too. Luckily I still have a few photos of myself with them.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I’ll be in my penalty box.

      • juris imprudent

        Reggie, is that you?

      • l0b0t

        “They brought their fuckin’ toys with them!?!”

      • rhywun

        LOL I had no idea that was a thing.

        So sexist I can’t even. I’m sure they’re all gone now.

      • db

        Nothing says “I’m not sexist” like firing a bunch of women and eliminating their positions.

      • Gustave Lytton

        The Avs have a coed Ice Patrol now. I’m sure the rest of the league is similar.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Most teams now have coed.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Her absolute beauty aside, the Detroit girl has a beautiful stride in that shot.

  17. slumbrew

    Interesting & inspiring, Kevin – thanks for sharing!

  18. Timeloose

    Man that’s bad ass. It is much faster than I imagined. Does the goalie get any consideration for his sled design or length?

    You must have some serious shoulders and core from that kind of workout

    • The Other Kevin

      The goalie is interesting. His sled has plastic runners instead of blades so he can move in any direction. A goalie can have a normal sled or something custom made. Some sit cross-legged which is interesting. But I don’t think there are too many specific rules for a goalie sled.

  19. Tundra
      • db

        I’m not familiar with modern rap/hip-hop videos–is it common to be flashing guns a lot in them? It seems that based on the subject matter, they’re risking some pretty significant, er, scrutiny by including them in their video.

    • rhywun

      no one in their right mind would spend money on it

      BRB

      • rhywun
      • rhywun

        LOL there are dozens of singles named “Let’s Go Brandon”.

    • The Other Kevin

      Brody is from Chicago, and he played with us until he moved to Nashville a few years ago. He’s at least one of the top 3 in the world. He was born without anything from the hips down. But damn can he play, and he’s probably the best skater out there. Once during a fundraiser he climbed the stairs to the Willis (Sears) tower on his hands. And once during practice I took a faceoff against him, and he caught the puck on the flat of his stick before it even hit the ice. What an asshole LOL.

  20. l0b0t

    Totally OT (Sorry TOK) – Do any of y’all transact with Charles Schwab? I need to rollover a 401K and USAA uses Schwab for IRAs, anyone have any opinions on them?

    • DEG

      I used them many years ago. It was a 401K at a previous employer.

      I didn’t have problems with them.

      My information is dated, so take it with a grain of salt.

    • slumbrew

      I really like Schwab.

      I have my checking account there (unlimited ATM refunds, no foreign transaction fees – just take euros out of the ATM).

      I also have a rollover IRA and a taxable account there as well. I just opened a DAF last year too (it’s easy and free).

      • slumbrew

        Oh, my company’s equity-awards program is there as well – that’s what got me there in the first place.

      • slumbrew

        I should note I’ve got a boring three fund portfolio, so I’m not trying to do anything too fancy.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Even more boring two fund here. I’ve never really gotten the Boglehead’s insistence on international funds, especially given that Jack Bogle did not use them.

        Also another vote for Schwab. Have a Vanguard account for work and the interface is night and day different.

      • slumbrew

        Mine’s more like a 2.25 fund portfolio – the international component is quite small. I’ve waffled on just dropping it altogether.

        In practice, it’s like a 6 fund portfolio, since the current 401k is at Fidelity; I wish the company had gone w/ Schwab for that in addition to the equity awards part.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        International makes sense to me. Insisting on bonds is the head scratcher considering current events.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Me too. I originally opened it for the zero foreign transaction fees and moved over a small value investment account. No complaints and I’ll probably just use them for all of it going forward.

    • Tundra

      Yeah, I am a trustee for my Grandma’s trust. All her stuff has been handled through Schwab. They’ve been flawless for us.

    • l0b0t

      Thank you all very much. I fully understand that no financial or legal advice was proffered or accepted.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      No issues with them.

    • Nephilium

      Put me on as someone else who uses them. Their web interface has been wonky at times, and there are some features that only work in either mobile app or on their webpage. Overall positive opinion of them.

    • hayeksplosives

      I use them for a Roth IRA (USAA got out of the direct investing business and passed their accounts to Schwab) and I just recently opened a straight (non retirement) account with them.

      Easy to use interface, and I love the mobile app.

    • UnCivilServant

      I have a brokerage account with them.

      It’s almost broken even… but that’s CDPR’s fault. *glares in Cyberpunk*

      • UnCivilServant

        Their website could be better though. They need to make it clearer when something is the actual stock in question or an investment vehicle that isn’t the actual stock but indexed to it.

    • Swiss Servator

      I have my regular portfolio with them…no trouble so far.

      Vanguard is good too (that is where my 401(k) is…

    • Plisade

      I use them. No issues. /knocks on wood

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      My company used Schwab by default for stock options, so I’ve been with them since. I’ve been satisfied.

    • hayeksplosives

      USAA transferred their Roth IRA client accounts to Schwab, so when I recently opened a taxable account, I did it at Schwab too.

      I love their mobile app.

      • DEG

        Fidelity is good. I have some accounts with them.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I walk back my comment. Fidelity, Schwab, or Vanguard are the only 3 brokerages one really needs to consider.

        Fidelity and Schwab have the edge over Vanguard if you want to consolidate (no cash management at Vanguard).

      • db

        I have accounts at Fidelity and have been quite happy with them. If you have a cash management account with them, you can send zero-fee wire transfers from it. My GF has Schwab through her work and seems to be happy with them too.

      • slumbrew

        My 401k is at Fidelity – I don’t know if it’s just the 401k interface, but it’s markedly inferior to Schwab.

      • Ted S.

        I didn’t like the Fidelity website and trying to look up mutual funds as compared to Vanguard, which is why I went with Vanguard for my investment account. I didn’t try Schwab.

    • Fourscore

      Schwab has my USAA 401 plus manages the USAA mutual funds I have. It is as easy to use as when USAA was doing all the work. I’m perfectly satisfied but again I rarely make any transactions.

  21. Bones

    Play until you can’t! I can personally vouch for this, albeit in soccer, but hanging it up while you still can perform can create regret, thinking about what might have been. You are absolutely not crazy!

    Thanks for sharing this, and win some more for the quinquagenarians!

  22. Not a full set....

    Amazing article.
    It is a great game to watch and please write some more.
    I had the opportunity to try it out as a teenager when the swedish national team was showing it off to our hockey league.
    It was a very humbling experience as a cocky teenager to try to keep up and get hit hard, going in thinking how har can it be.

    • Drake

      Wait till you see what he does to 5-year-old kids!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        ?

    • DEG

      I laughed.

      I probably shouldn’t have.

    • db

      ooooh, ouch!

  23. Unreconstructed

    We have dinner at a very sketchy BBQ place called Rudy’s. It’s attached to a gas station.

    Rudy’s is a (decent) chain BBQ joint. Always, AFAIK, attached to a gas station. Glad you enjoyed it. Much better than the Bill whatever chain based in SA.

    I’ll be 50 in a month, so nobody will fault me for sitting on the couch watching Netflix all night.

    I’m a little younger (got 8 months until the big 5-0), but I play soccer, indoor and out, usually 4 times a week. My inspiration to keep up comes from two men I met over the years – one an unnamed fellow I met at a rugby tournament who was 65 and still playing, and the other a friend named Alan who was forced to retire from soccer at the age of 70+ when he got blindsided by a shot from the outside and had to have his skull opened to stop a brain bleed. When I quit, I want it to be because I have to.

    Nice article, I’ll have to check the videos out after working hours.

    • R.J.

      If it is the DFW location, it is a nice concept. The BBQ was.. BBQ. Not amazing but not bad.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Is that the one up on 75 by Cabelas in Allen? Ive driven by it 100 times but never stopped in.

      • R.J.

        I visited one near Forth Worth. Turns out there is more than one in DFW.

  24. Semi-Spartan Dad

    Great article, Kevin. Sounds like a blast and a lot of work.

    A lot of gas stations around here have grills attached. Some are quite good but others not so much. My wife used to regularly get a country plate lunch (meat and vegetables) from one near her work.

  25. db

    Kevin, from the videos I’m seeing, it looks like folks with double amputations might have better maneuverability than those with the mass of their legs on the sled. Like, quicker turning and pivoting because of the reduced inertia/angular momentum. Is this correct?

    • The Other Kevin

      An astute observation. That is 100% true. Double amps are generally faster and more maneuverable. I suppose it’s fair that for one time in their life, being MORE disabled is an advantage. There are times when the games are close, and Team USA puts all double amps on the ice. There was some talk of having a rating system like they do in wheelchair basketball. Something like, you’re allowed to have x number of double amps, y number of single amps, and z number of people with both legs on the ice at one time. But that’s never come to pass.

      • db

        Seems like that might be hard to accomplish while ensuring sane shift times.

      • The Other Kevin

        That’s probably why they didn’t do it. While it would make things more even, it gets complicated quickly, especially if you have a short bench.

    • Drake

      That’s how guys are trying to score with the rare hot lesbians now?

    • ron73440

      I tried to read it, couldn’t make it.

      What is going on with people?

      • Plisade

        Daddy issues?

      • EvilSheldon

        I spent about ten minutes trying to parse the term, “genital fetishist” before my brain overheated.

      • rhywun

        Mass hysteria.

        There are a few of them going around lately.

    • slumbrew

      Evergreen albeit flipped around a bit.

      • ron73440

        That’s not real, is it?

      • slumbrew

        As far as I can tell, it is.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      This was certainly not predicted.

    • Ed Wuncler

      “Jennie is a lesbian woman. She says she is only sexually attracted to women who are biologically female and have vaginas. She therefore only has sex and relationships with women who are biologically female. Jennie doesn’t think this should be controversial, but not everyone agrees. She has been described as transphobic, a genital fetishist, a pervert and a “terf” – a trans exclusionary radical feminist.”

      Most adults who are transgendered probably want to be left alone to live their life in peace, but the activists are creating an environment where people are going to get fed up with this shit and creating an incredibly dangerous environment.

      • UnCivilServant

        Then we need to accellerate the number of helicopter rides.

      • slumbrew

        Got it, she’s “super gay”. In the way that I am “super straight”.

        Apparently, those are harmful terms.

      • db

        I ordered a hamburger, they gave me a hot dog, and called me a “sandwich fetishist” when I complained.

        I guess they can’t say I need to lower my expectations in that case, since “lower” implies something they can’t acknowledge.

      • rhywun

        Some hot dogs identify as hamburgers, bigot.

      • EvilSheldon

        If a sandwich is a burrito, than a taco is a hot dog.

      • R.J.

        “Agile sandwich shop” means your complaint is new requirements, not a defect.

    • EvilSheldon

      Sweet drunken Enkidu…

      ”There’s a common argument that they try and use that goes ‘What if you met a woman in a bar and she’s really beautiful and you got on really well and you went home and you discovered that she has a penis? Would you just not be interested?'”

      Look, asshole. I get to be interested or not interested in anyone I want, at any time, for any reason, and the only person who gets to have an opinion about it is me.

      Apparently, lesbians have the same ‘You Get What You Put Up With’ problems as their straight counterparts do…

      • waffles

        That is absolutely part of it.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m waiting for a remade Crying Game where the main character’s name is now a lesbian.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        where the main character is now a lesbian.

        DERP

    • Mojeaux

      Because a penis person pressuring a vagina person for sex and lashing out if she doesn’t comply isn’t the least bit threatening and rapey. Nope. Just say you’re a woman and threatening a vagina person is A-OK.

      Lesbians need to start carrying.

      • db

        “Hey, Patricia! Watch out for your front hole!”

      • Mojeaux

        “Oh, hey, I have a game we can play. Let’s tie you up and blindfold you first. Awww, c’mon, don’t you trust me? There you go, honey.”

        *gets out urethral sounds*

      • db

        I remember Urethral Sounds. It’s Genital Fetishists’ best album to date, IMO.

      • Mojeaux

        Wrong. Wronger than wrong. Peg is their best.

      • EvilSheldon

        I’m glad that I wasn’t the only one who was thinking this. Both the ‘this is creepy predatory behavior’ part, and the ‘pack heat’ part.

  26. PutridMeat

    Thanks for the great story TOK. Makes me feel inadequate for playing video games all day Sunday instead of getting off my ass!

  27. The Other Kevin

    Thanks everyone for the kind words. I have 6 or 7 tournaments to go this season, and 3 of them involve some sort of championship trophy or banner. I’ll keep writing!

  28. straffinrun

    Very late, but I loved this. Slice of life I didn’t know existed.