When mexican sharpshooter called, I didn’t even let him pull whatever it was he had ready to trap me. “Fine, I am on the way to the armored studio. I know I have no chance to avoid this, do I?”
“Not really, but I would have preferred to watch you try” he admitted.
“So, links or advice?”
“Advice, if you please.”
“Sure, why not.”
Studio A
Good Evening, Ladies and Gentlemen, Glibs of all ages. Step right up to receive the wit, wisdom and advice of our Cryptid All Star Trio! We are going to start things off with our Master Cleanser, ZARDOZ. ZARDOZ, what do you have for our audience?
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. BECAUSE YOU HAVE SNARKED AT THE BRUTALS, WHO PLAGUE THE EARTH, ZARDOZ WILL REWARD YOU WITH THE GIFT OF ADVICE. AND THE ADVICE OF ZARDOZ IS SURELY GREATER THAN THAT OF WIZENED BRUTALS.
Q: I am a 30-year-old woman who very much wants to find someone to share my life and start a family with. The problem is I hate dating, at least the early stages. To me, first dates aren’t exciting; they’re just plain awkward and nerve-racking.
I have tried everything to change my outlook on dating, but I still go into every first date with the same enthusiasm as I’d have for a root canal. I truly want a partner in life, but I hate first dates so much I Googled, “Is arranged marriage for me?” Please, do you have any tips for how to have a more positive outlook on dating?
A: ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, THE DATE HATE ADVISED ONE. YOU ARE MERELY FOLLOWING THE STRICTURE OF ZARDOZ, REGARDING THE PENIS BEING EVIL. THIS IS GOOD, AND ZARDOZ IS PLEASED (THOUGH NOT WITH THE WANTING TO START A FAMILY, THAT IS NOT GOOD). PERHAPS THIS “ARRANGED MARRIAGE” WOULD BE BEST. ZARDOZ DOES HAVE EXPERIENCE IN THAT AREA…
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
…
Ok then. Um, why don’t we just move right along to the SMITHs. Let us try out what SEA SMITH is dealing. SEA?
SEA SMITH HAPPY SEE LAND HOOMAN GLIBERTARIANS. HE ALSO HAVE GIANT SQUID IN POCKET. HAHAHAHAHA! SEA SMITH VERY FUNNY. HE ALSO GIVE ADVICE. GOODER ADVICE THAN SILLY HOOMANS. HERE BETTERER ADVICE!
Q. One of my best friends is a man I met a few years ago with whom I slowly fell in love. Despite being in our early 30s, both of us were virgins because of our religious traditions. I was profoundly disoriented when he recently got engaged to another woman after dating her for two months. After he became engaged, we had sex. Despite knowing that it was wrong, I think we’re both relieved and grateful to have shared this intimate experience before our paths diverged. The fact that we had sex makes it clear that we will have to adopt a disciplined approach to our friendship in the future. The dilemma: My friend had asked me to be his “best woman” at the wedding, and I agreed. But I feel as though I should pull out in light of the fact that I’ve slept with the groom. He disagrees, and it might raise some uncomfortable questions for him if I were to drop out. But if his fiancee found out that he and I slept together, having me in the wedding pictures would be extremely painful. What should I do?
A. YOU VERY SILLY LAND HOOMAN. BUT SEA SMITH THINK PROBLEM WITH LAND MAN YOU BANG. HE HAVE “BEST WOMAN” AT WEDDING? AND IT FRIEND WITH BENEFIT? SEA SMITH SAY, JUST WAIT 6 MONTH, YOU FRIEND END UP MAKING BOOTY CALL TO YOU. THEN YOU SEE IF BE IN WEDDING PICTURE PAINFUL. OR GET HEAD BEAT IN BY WIFE. THAT PAINFUL TOO.
SEA SMITH SAY “SWIM AWAY”.
COME ON IN, WATER IS FINE!
…
That…that might be really good advice. I am … stunned. Let us see if STEVE SMITH can keep the ball rolling. STEVE?
STEVE SMITH GLAD GIVE ADVICE. HIM KNOW MANY THING, AND CAN SHARE GOOD IDEA! HIM PROMINENT FOREST LAWYER, AND ADVISOR EXTRAORDINAIRE. HIM KNOW MORE THAN OLD MANNERS LADY.
Q. A friend forwarded to me, I believe in error, an email message written by a mutual acquaintance that was rather disparaging towards me personally. I suppose this is the electronic equivalent of accidentally overhearing a conversation.
What would be the appropriate response? Should I address the comments directly, as in, “What did Mr. X mean by these remarks?” Or indirectly, as in, “Did you mean to send me that message, or was it an error on your part?” Or should I just pretend I never received the information?
A. THIS TAKE TWO PART SOLUTION. BUT STEVE SMITH HAVE ANSWER! FIRST, SEND EMAIL TO FRIEND, ASK WHYCOME YOU SEND MEAN EMAIL ME?
FOR JERK WHO WRITE MEAN EMAIL, THEM YOU HIT ON HEAD WITH BIG ROCK!
YOU WELCOME FOR BEST ADVICE.
FREE CASCADIA!
…
Well, that wraps it up for another installment of the All-Star Cryptid Advice Roundup. I am going to get out of here, before SEA SMITH figures out how to get inside the studio.
My favorite date is the 4th date. After that it’s all downhill.
Is that when the Hunter finds Uranus?
The Hunter and Uranaus.
Since the cryptids are around… be scared.
Obligatory.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK6jKL2qWxo
When the hell did you let mexi start telling you what to do?!?
For some time now, mex has been the gleeful messenger, passing along that I am stuck with Friday night duty. Besides, how could you tell hair that magnifique, “non”?
Yes, the rakish good looks and a cool eye cannot be denied.
Yeah, letter number two is filled with fail.
I have a hard time believing a religious guy would give up his virginity to this woman after getting engaged.
Or, if it happened because he also secretly loved her as she did him, why would he keep going with the wedding?
Or, it’s completely scripted bullshit.
Or, it’s completely scripted bullshit.
DING DING DING!!!!
CORRECT!
Ya think? *clink!*
*clink*
Or, he wasn’t really a virgin.
I never looked at it as dating, it was, Hey! let’s go here and do this, young and in SoCal you could do this and it was fun,
Anyone want to bet that the email ‘accidentally’ sent to #3 was something like, “Don’t get to close to #3, bitch ain’t brushed them teeth since Clinton was in office…”?
Or…”#3 is so sensitive. You say any little thing in jest and she takes it as a personal attack.”
I Do Not! Why do You treat me This Way!
It’s OK, hon. Here; have a tall can.
/Takes a sip,
Better, now hit me again!
SEA SMITH SAY “SWIM AWAY”.
This is good advice.
I just realized I haven’t listened to Pyromania front to back in decades. Hysteria will be next.
80’s glam rock deserves a lot more credit than it gets.
I say it a lot, probably a time or two here; glam rock, pop metal, hair metal, whatever you want to call it, was just starting to mature and really turn into something special (more special) as we headed into the 90’s. Then the labels and radio stations pulled the rug out. It was a fucking travesty and those empty suits should all be thrown into woodchippers.
Do remember that it did give us gems like this from W.A.S.P.
https://youtu.be/6u96tYuv2Zk
Haha. I never got into W.A.S.P. Thanks for that.
Wait, didn’t go with this?
https://youtu.be/RG69PMDBfaE
Glib shibboleth dead.
Bless you for remembering. ?
*pours one out for Sir Digby *
https://youtu.be/IqP76XWHQI0
*taps foot and nods head to beat*
Metal health will drive you mad.
Here’s some Good Hair Metal, I’m Alive,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ahq4blDfU5s
It already did.
We used to sing (errrr…yell) “Cum on Feel the Noize” on the ski lift in the 80’s
Are you Foolin’ with us?
As long as he doesn’t leave us high and dry.
HELP: electronics nerds and tool junkies. I’m in the market for a soldering iron. Almost certainly won’t get heavily used. I have a use for one (pushing heat-set thread inserts into twelve 3D printed parts) and instead of borrowing I thought I’d get a good (or at least decent) one and look for uses for it in the future. The tip specs say the shank is 1/4″ and the type is “plug.” I’m not seeing corresponding info on Weller’s website, so I’m unsure which model I need.
Like this?
https://www.amazon.com/Weller-SP40NKUS-40-Watts-Soldering-Iron/dp/B00B3SG7F0
Was looking at that one. I still don’t see the answer to my main question. Will it accept these tips: The tip specs say the shank is 1/4″ and the type is “plug.”
Here is some information on McMaster
McMaster is actually where I’m looking at the inserts and tips. That has to be Weller irons they’re selling as the “economy” iron, right?
Fuck, I overthink shit like this all the time.
Pretty sure they are. I bought a higher end soldering pencil from them and it was Weller.
Do you need a specific size for the inserts you are using?
Here is the tip that McMaster says to use for the inserts
Looks like a 40 watt is the smallest with the 1/4″ shank (the part inserted into the iron). Too bad it doesn’t have a soldering iron compatibility chart.
Weller 25 watt, perfect for small soldering jobs, I own several, just so i don’t have to change tips,
Tip diameter on my Weller station is 0.2125″
I’m guessing that most of Weller’s removable tip irons are to the same standard, but that’s just a guess.
I kinda figured they would be to the same standard, but they say nothing about it that I’ve found, so I was hesitant to pull the trigger.
Nice to get a measurement. Appreciate it, Trashy!
Correction, there are three sizes. 0.008″, 0.063″ and 0.22″. I’m not sure if the 0.22″ size is “quarter inch” or not.
Are you talking the shank that fits into the iron, or the tip itself?
*Butthead laugh*
Shank that fits in the iron. Weller’s site is cancer, so the three sizes I saw on there could’ve been tip sizes. Either way, I put the caliper on the shank. *wonders how good that euphemism is*
I believe there are three types of Weller replaceable tips; economy, fixed temperature and variable temperature. The shanks have different shapes.
Tip diameter on my Weller station is 0.2125″
You folks are talking in some sort of code, right?
I kind of hoped one of them would tackle the advice letter I saw in the paper a few weeks ago. A woman was afraid her boyfriend might take it wrong if he found out she occasionally let her ex “park his vehicle in her garage” when he still came over for a friendly visit.
I bet he parked his car in the garage so the neighbors wouldn’t know he was over there fucking her!
^whatever type of joke this is called, I like it.
Okay. ESPN has a female play-by-play for hockey. Great, fine, except she is terrible. If she can’t keep up with the play it’s “generic team name plays the puck”…Kings were on a PP and she kept saying they are doing great on the PK….
Terrible…
Why do you hate diversity you racist/transphobe/bigot/homophobe/misogynist?
She is fucking trash. “He took a shot” who took a shot?
To be fair it’s hockey and nobody gives a fuck.
Shut your whore mouth.
Ya! Or as my very devout Christian grandma would say “hey ref you suck!”
But diversity!!!
Some time ago, idiots at the networks (not sports fans themselves but big fans of cash) figured they could get that last little bit of demographics, women who didn’t like sports, to watch sports if they had women sideline reporters, play callers, etc.
All they accomplished with that effort was to annoy their key demographic of male sports fans and us female sports fans who already watched sports for the sports. It never occurred to me that seeing some tight dressed bitch doing the game preview would make me want to watch more. Quite the contrary. I still sometimes yell at the TV when they have a group pre game discussion with a former coach, a couple of former players, and an unqualified airhead, “OH YEAH, BITCH! WHAT POSITION DID YOUPLAY?!?!?
They could at least have picked a female hockey player.
Yeah; like in tennis, the female commentators are all former players, just like the men.
Football doesn’t lend itself to that.
So why try?
Producers (and publishers) have never really known what people will like.
Don’t hold back. Tell us what you really think.
My teens who don’t follow hockey could call the game better. Every shot that was beyond the hash marks was “long shot”. Nothing to describe where from, just long shot. Got names mixed up, teams mixed up,…ugh. Made the game unenjoyable to watch and it was a good game.
It is ESPN, so sorry you Tina Fey knockoff (she was…short, glasses, bouncy hair) you just cannot call a game. Go to color commentary or to a minor league and build up that confidence. The fact that she said “this is my first time calling 3-on-3 hockey!” means she isn’t ready for this.
I sure as hell couldn’t call hockey. I can barely keep up with where the puck is.
It is a noteworthy skill.
I’ve watched all of one hockey game. It was in-person at college. It was RIT versus Courtland. It wasn’t a shutout, but I think the score was 8-1 or somesuch. There was at least one incident of blood on the ice, and the crowd was pointlessly cruel to the Courtland Goalie, at one point chanting “It’s all your fault.” The thing is, the RIT team was in the wrong division for their skill level, always had been because we sucked at the other sports.
I never went to another game.
In local supply chain / inflation news, my wife went to dinner with some co-workers to a local upscale-ish restaurant, and discovered that since the last time we were there (July, I think) they’ve cut the menu in half and jacked up the prices on everything at least 25%.
The place was borderline overpriced before, but now… damn.
Related. Local school board gave bus drivers a 25% raise because of difficulty finding drivers. But it’s temporary and goes away at the end of the school year. As if they won’t have the very same problem next summer.
Well, those school board members grew up playing Kick the Can…
Some sound advice I read many years ago, maybe supposed to have been from Abe Lincoln to one of his staff or someone. The person was PO’d with someone. Abe suggested he write a nasty letter to the person in question. So the guy did and then asked Abe about mailing it. Abe explained, “Keep it for a week, re-read it and then burn it”
That ain’t bad advice. I may be confused about the details (Hey, it’s me and Joe, baby, all the way) but many times the totality of the circs may have changed. Better than being wrong and losing a friend. Acting in haste can be detrimental to friendships and even in the family.
Jesus, I wish i remembered that anecdote a few weeks ago, I may have saved a friendship,
I’m a beginner when it comes to writing stories, but this video describes me prefectly,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WnwDoe9Ry8
db – great recommendation on “dragon in the sea” by Herbert – definitely my first choice for a very affordable, tense indie film concept (even without CGI – you could do almost all of it in a single room). I’ve got the short story version of that in the “Eye” anthology (“Dragon in the Sea”) and 3 separate book versions as he expanded from short story to novella – ie. “Under Pressure”, “20th Century Sub” and … the long version of “Dragon in the Sea”.
Thanks.. I don’t understand why this hasn’t been produced. I’d finance it if it could be done right.
OT- Sugarfree’s story was wonderful but the protagonist should have been named Brandon. That is all.
Let’s Go Festus!
I could write a libretto for a Broadway play – “Everything is Terrible, Everything’s Fantastic!” starring me.
Wow. Everything old, is new again. Except now the media is complicate.
the Same Damn Syndrome, fuck!
GB
*complicit
Yup. Guillain-Barré just keeps popping up.
I haven’t been mandated but if they do I’m going to tell them to go fuck themselves. This is a vow.
I have to pay the price, but I did it, and I’m still here, stand your ground Bud!
Right now, DB is wearing not only a shirt and tie, but a jacket! NW and Rockabilly Gal need to show up and defend their sartorial superiority!
I never saw NW wear a jacket
Zoom is bad for me, I never wear pants
camera from the waist up
Yusef..never too old.. Wife and I are gonna make it next year.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyzMGR8OFFE
Fuck the haters and have the time of your life
Heard at EDC – LETS GO BRANDON
Awesome….and its a complete super spreader event 😉
suh’ fam
whats goody ?
(no cans of any size for me yet- I have to go and move a china hutch)
These euphemisms…
I’m gonna start a delivery service called Pussy Eats.
Cat. The other white meat.
Actually, I’m talking about vaginas.
Good Morning All.
Some chickens fed.
Have to move hay, and order a small tractor today. and buy some silver and fertilizer, prices on everything going up….
Feel sorry for Mr. Baldwin, and someone commented on how cruel comments were on breightbart. Horrible but with all the tension and insanity of the past 2 years not unexpected. I fear its only going to get worse.
Mornin
buy some silver and fertilizer
For your money tree?
Couth is a lost trait. Time and place mean nothing anymore, the same crass behavior once exhibited only in front of your drinking buddies is now said and done anywhere and anytime.
meant as a reply to robodruid.
Threading is a lost art too.
Any glibs in the Kansas City metro area have recommendations for BBQ? Mrs. Prole and I are in a hotel south near Overland Park.