GlibFit 4.0 – Halloween Is Kicking My Ass

by | Oct 31, 2021 | GlibFit | 101 comments

Happy Halloween, Glibs! If you are like me, this may be the most dangerous time of year when it comes to eating. I’m a sucker for leftover Halloween candy, if it’s chocolate. All the other crap I can easily throw in the garbage. But heaven help me if it’s dark chocolate or chocolate with peanuts.

 

The sweetest chocolate of all…

 

I did one thing right and one thing wrong buying Halloween candy this year and it’s the same thing. I bought a big bag of candy a week ago. No last minute running out praying there is a bag of candy left in the store for me. But, it also meant I could start in on that bag during the week. I usually have the strength to leave it alone, but not this year.

 

I didn’t completely lose control. I never had more than two pieces of candy in a day. Let’s survey the damage by measuring the sugar in that candy. All the measurements below are for “fun size.” What the hell is fun about such a small size is beyond me.

 

 

If there is any good news in this chocolate hurricane it’s that I have shied away from the last three bars. I’m surprised how much sugar is in a peppermint patty. Where do they hide it and why is it so delicious?

 

Those of you who like Skittles, Starburst, Dots, and every other goyish candy can enact your own labor. That garbage is… garbage. But I will enact Mojeaux’s labor to tell her there are 20 grams of sugar in six Tootsie Fruit Chew Rolls. I still don’t know why you like them Mo but there you go.

 

One trick or treating tip, if any kid comes to your door asking for a contribution to UNICEF, you have my permission to violate the NAP.

 

This week’s music is not Monster Mash. Don’t link it Ted’S. It’s been played to death. (Hi-yo!) Werewolves of London is permitted even though it isn’t a Halloween song. It’s still awesome. Pet Sematary is encouraged because Ramones. Finally, Shout at the Devil, because Mojeaux needs it after dealing with her move and it proves Vince Neil was once thin.

About The Author

Chafed

Chafed

I'm looking California but feeling Minnesota

101 Comments

  1. Tulip

    I won’t be handing out candy this year because there was no halloween candy at the store. They did have Christmas candy.

    • ignoreLander

      The Halloween candy is floating off the shore of Los Angeles, being eaten by rats as we speak.

    • Nephilium

      I saw fscking Christmas themed commercials already.

      It’s not even November yet!

  2. DEG

    I’m a sucker for leftover Halloween candy, if it’s chocolate. All the other crap I can easily throw in the garbage. But heaven help me if it’s dark chocolate or chocolate with peanuts.

    #metoo

    It’s why I don’t bother with handing out candy and instead head out to a bar when the Trick or Treaters come around.

    Weight is up, but I’ve continued eating like shit since I got back from vacation. I have been going to the gym consistently. Based on how my clothes fit (tighter across the upper chest and thighs, same as before in the waist), I’ll guess most of what I put on is muscle.

    My plan is the next deadlift day will be the last day I deadlift with risers. I’ll have my trainer watching me to make sure my form is good. If so, the deadlift day afterwards will be with a normal range of motion, though with baby weights.

    Time to work through the music links.

  3. The coolest vaccine-free BEAM in the world™

    Yeah, I’m like you, Chafed — most Hallowe’en candy gives me a bad case of “meh,” but up here in The Great White North, we have “Oh Henry” bars (not sure what the U.S.-equivalent would be), and they’re just peanut and chocolate goodness; the Hallowe’en size is perfect for adults to shove into their mouths and gobble up. I love those things, Lord help me.

    • Penguin

      …up here in The Great White North, we have “Oh Henry” bars (not sure what the U.S.-equivalent would be…

      They’d be Oh, Henry bars. I think we still have them. However, there is a apparent difference between those sold here and in the Great White North.

      But like Chafed, I prefer dark chocolate (with nuts), or at least chocolate with peanuts. So I usually get a bag of Reese’s, and also usually wind up eating it all.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Ferrara can go eat a bag of dicks. Fuckface Italians took long-standing candy bars and fucked up the recipes. We didn’t crush Italy in Dubya Dubya Dos to live with this shit. Sellout Swiss confectioners.

      • Chafed

        lol

    • Chafed

      I used to love those when I was a kid. I can’t remember the last time I saw one.

  4. Yusef drives a Kia

    Chocolate, dark chocolate, peppermint patties, reeses mini peanut butter cups, cherry sours by the bag yum…….

  5. LCDR_Fish

    I ordered a box of the “larger size” kelloggs chewy fruit snacks that I like – that way *if* anyone actually stopped by, I’d have some stuff to give away – and that I like – since I’d probably keep most of them….of course the walmart shipper said it shipped (generated label) – but it hasn’t….delayed, out of stock, etc…. oh well.

    As far as the ongoing issue of the possibly leaky washer….got under the house again today. Looks like there’s no new water on the floor of the crawlspace…but there’s definitely a damp spot on the board overhead – in the floor. I ran the washer twice last night, gonna run it twice today. Might have been better if I had gone out to check while the washer was draining, not while it was filling. I’ll try giving it another look next weekend and experiment with the endoscope camera attachment again this week.

    Might not be the end of the world in the short term if the water on the board(s) is “drying” during the week between uses…but not ideal in the long term. I definitely don’t see any leaking along the actual drain pipe or where the pipe comes through the insulation. Just hoping it’s not ridiculously expensive to address – depending on approach.

    • LCDR_Fish

      I mean, I guess it might also be helped by the fact that the dryer sits right next to the washer and is generally run at the same time – or after the washer finishes…so hopefully helping to keep some of this in check.

    • Zwak, sensual panzer

      Is it a front-loading washer? And if it is, have you had it for a while, and do you stuff it pretty full? Then it’s probably the rear main bearing. They are known to go out on front loaders.

      Or, if I am remembering last week’s convo about this, is it backing up from the drain? If it is the washer itself, get a washer pan. They are designed for going under the machine to catch any water that might leak. Always a good idea in any case. But, if it is leaking at a point outside the dryer, try snaking that pipe, as there might be a lint ball blocking things.

      • LCDR_Fish

        It’s a top loading washer that sits in a plastic bin (never seen leakage from the washer itself – or water on the floor). I think it’s leaking from the drain hose somewhere between where it drops into the wall and before the hose goes into the actual drain pipe – but I haven’t been able to get the endoscope images from inside that space yet. Will keep experimenting this week.

  6. l0b0t

    We’re taking the kids out to go beg candy in about an hour. The honor bowl goes out on the porch. Well, technically, it’s an honor plastic to-go container as the bowl walked off the first year we put one out.

    • db

      You gave me an idea…an “honor system” candy bowl sitting on a scale with a scary looking display that measures how much has been removed from the bowl and shows an animated video of the bowl being electrified, with lights that come on under the bowl and in a box around where the person’s standing if they take too much. Strobes go off and an audio track of a demon cursing them plays…

  7. DEG

    The Rob Zombie song is good. The video is trippy. I like the hot rod. I think the hot rod was the real star of the video and should have been shown more prominently.

    Warren Zevon is always good.

    Just say Yes to The Ramones.

    There was a time when I liked Motley Crue, but I can’t anymore.

    • db

      OBE posted this regarding “Dragula” the other day.

  8. Lord Humungus

    Last week I bought two boxes of full-sized candy bars: Snickers, Milky Ways, Reese’s PB Cups, etc. Basically for the neighborhood kids. Outsiders get the fun-sized Skittles; unless traffic is low. This time last year we were throwing 2-3 candy bars at the few hardy souls who braved the “pandemic” and Michigan on the last day of a usually cold October.

    So far I have not been tempted by the candy.

    • Lord Humungus

      I bought my candy at Walmart. There seemed to be less Halloween stuff in general but I was late shopping this year so ???

      Everything else seemed pretty well stocked so I’m not 100% sure about the supply chain issues; unless Walmart and other chains are filling their inventory gaps with “lesser varieties.” ie, the local grocery store has weird brands of toilet paper.

      • Chafed

        Retailing giants are getting hit by supply chain issues but not as badly. They are muscling out smaller competitors and in some cases taking direct control of transporting their goods.

      • Ted S.

        A win for Big Government. A smaller number of larger companies means it’s easier for government to control.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Berenson covered this. It was a cherry picked study.

      They’re just flat out lying now.

    • DEG

      A little too much silicone, but otherwise a good gallery.

    • Lord Humungus

      I like a little more softness/femininity in my ladies /not a chubby chaser

      • Q Continuum

        *lights Tres signal*

      • TARDis

        Agree, but I do very much respect the effort required to get those abs.

      • Chafed

        #MeToo

    • Chafed

      Jesus H. Koresh. 1, 2, I’ll be in my bunk.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    The CDC report finding vaccines are five and half times more effective in preventing infections than natural immunity picked up from a previous infection.

    I saw a thing about that this morning. Their reasoning seems… suspect.

    • Q Continuum

      “Their reasoning seems… suspect.”

      They’re proven liars and anyone would be a fool to trust a damn thing they say.

      FIFY.

    • Penguin

      I saw that earlier. Hornady might have some issues, unless we get another dearth of ammo .

    • Stillhunter

      I was going to buy some of their bullets recently since I’m struggling to find factory ammo for my 270. Fifty three cents per bullet seemed excessive so I skipped it for now. This makes me glad I did.

    • Penguin

      That is to say, Hornady might have some issues with sales. I don’t think much of their target market will think highly of them bending the knee.

  10. Lord Humungus

    Weird things you notice from working out:

    . My shoulders touch edge-to-edge of the bathtub.

    . American sized L long-sleeves usually means they’re too tight in the shoulders and too short. British stuff, on the other hand, fits me a lot better. Do people in the UK have long monkey arms like me?

    . I hate underwear creep when doing squats or deadlifts. No wonder the Greeks preferred to ahem wrestle in the nude.

  11. kinnath

    It’s 52 degrees out and my air conditioning has kicked on. Perhaps I should open some windows.

    {* Passive Solar Design for the Win *}

  12. Jerms

    One year, about 5 days after really indulging in the chocolate Halloween candy, and the leftover candy the next few days—I was sitting on the toilet a realized there was a big problem. Handnt takin a dump since before the 31st and what was in my bowels felt like it was pushing my hips out. Pushed n pushed and nothing. Was scared It was going to take a trip to the ER to take this out of me. To try and save the embarrassment I took a bunch of laxatives and an enema and waited a bit.
    An hour later I was back on the bowl and pushed and screamed like hell and got it out and when I wiped there was tons of blood. One of the hardest things Ive ever done. The thing was so outlandishly huge I didnt bother to try and flush. I had to put rubber gloves on and scoop it out of there like it was a little baby. One of my biggests regrets in life is that I put it into a plastic grocery bag and threw it out without getting a photo of it. Still cant believe how big it was.

    • Sean

      Pay attention folks, this is how you overshare. ⤴

      ?

      • Jerms

        Story would be so much better with a picture right?

      • TARDis

        A good dump like that deserves a proper send off.

    • The Last American Hero

      So you birthed a First?

      • Jerms

        Whatever Bros first winds up being, it wont be as big and solid as that shit I took.

    • Q Continuum

      I reiterate: an epic dump like that is superior to mediocre sex.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Dad, is that you?

    • Penguin

      “It was at least 9 Courics!”

    • rhywun

      ?

      • Jerms

        I know. Sorry. I dont have too many friends to tell my stories to. My last turd story, I promise.

    • Tres Cool

      So you’ll gave birth to Bono, the biggest piece of shit ?

      /ask me about the time I was plugged-up from oxy and hadn’t shit in 4 days. Im never going to tell a woman I understand the pains of childbirth, but I have an idea

      • Jerms

        Dude mine was as big as a small baby and it came out a much less pliable hole. I think the blood was from a natural episiotomy.

      • Mojeaux

        You haven’t had a kidney stone, have you?

  13. Q Continuum

    “What the hell is fun about such a small size is beyond me.”

    That’s what she said.

  14. Gustave Lytton

    if any kid comes to your door asking for a contribution to UNICEF

    Some days I miss the childhood innocence and pre red pill era.

    • rhywun

      I think I was actually roped into that one year.

      Sorry, neighbors.

      • Stillhunter

        I recall a couple years around 1980 I did that since it was pushed at school.

        *wishes I’d realized sooner that schools are propaganda outlets*

  15. IRBE

    Hi Chafed, Greetings from NOCAL-BEL. Thanks for edition! Short hike, 5 mi with 1K ft. altitude. Yesterday 8 miles and 1.4K ft.

    Not much of candy fan. We haven’t bought Halloween candy in 5 yrs. No kids willing to make the climb…

    G-fit update: Sleep was just good. Food was bad, really bad. Too much restaurant food, too many carbs. Lack of discipline. Hike mileage was 34 miles. Wim Hoff/meditative “ancient man” techniques; Did 1 time with cold swim. Went to gym 3 times. Hit it really hard. really sore this week…weird. Didn’t fast. Weight was UP 3 to 177! I was bad but I wasn’t that bad.

    Goals: Failed goal weight range (175-170)..damn. Still not dead from Covid…MB;MC

    Read an interesting article from an anthropologist relative to nutrition and weight gain. Interesting was how he presented the data. Seems the average American gains 2 lbs per year, while taking in ~ 1MM calories. Based on the calorie excess to gain a pound is 3500 cals, the next excess in calories for the year is 7K, which is less than 1% excess of total…That is a 1% you don’t want to be in or apart of.

    To live better, fat adapt, skip a meal or three!

  16. ignoreLander

    Some strong, STRONG opinions this week about chocolate, AKA “sweet shit”. Wouldn’t touch the stuff with an irradiated pole. By the way, ever single bit of stuff you name, is quite literal trash. So, you know, glass houses, etc etc etc.

    Having said that, man this is a tough time of year and it’s only going to get worse with Thanksgiving coming. But for me it’s hard to resist real candy, you know, Twizzlers, Sour Patch Gummies, Pixie Stix, Warheads, Pulparindo…. The good stuff.

    • rhywun

      Yeah, I can’t eat any of that Hershey garbage.

      I like Ritter Sport on the low end, which is like the German Hersheys but better and there’s a Marzipan variety.

      Cadbury, Lindt, anything Euro is generally reliable. Ghirardelli is OK but rare here.

      • TARDis

        The Hershey Special Dark is edible in a pinch, but I agree otherwise. I mowed down a lot of RS marzipan back in the day. It’s a little too sweet for me now. Odd, Ghirardelli is readily available down here in rube central.

      • rhywun

        I only see it in the bag of little wrapped pieces but TBH I’m not looking for it since I rarely eat candy any more.

    • creech

      Good and Plenty for the win. Dark chocolate to place. Snickers to show.

  17. Gustave Lytton

    Looks like Steve Smith is breaking norms again.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    Man with a plan

    President Joe Biden convened a summit on Sunday during the annual gathering of G-20 leaders to address supply-chain challenges and other disruptions affecting global commerce.

    “Supply chains are something that most of our citizens never think twice about until something goes wrong. And during this pandemic, we’ve seen delays and backlogs of goods from automobiles to electronics, from shoes to furniture,” Biden said in his debut at the G-20 since becoming president.

    “Ending the pandemic is the ultimate key to unlocking the disruptions we’re all contending with. But, we have to take action now, together with our partners in the private sector, to reduce the backlogs that we’re facing,” he said. “Now that we have seen how vulnerable these lines of global commerce can be, we cannot go back to business as usual.”

    The idea of a Joe Biden “fix” for a complex interdependent global supply system fills me with nothing but fear, uncertainty and dread.

    • rhywun

      Someone is deliberately punishing us until the unclean get on board.

    • IRBE

      Brandon really worries me. I fear there is no backstop from him on stoopid, which makes him extremely dangerous. I saw the look in his eyes when he was campaigning for Mcauliffe and he had zero fucks to give and had looks of an evil psychopathic dementia patient when they gave the “Let’s Go Brandon” chant.

    • Chafed

      I’m heavy on the dread. He has no clue. Any “help” he provides will make things worse.

      • Chafed

        That’s about right.

      • IRBE

        I think it is worse than that..when he is presented with a colossally stupid idea, he isn’t there to say: “No, I won’t be apart of that. It will ruin my reputation…I will never get re-elected if we do that; my legacy…”. He just a demented spokesmodel with no soul.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      Ending the pandemic is the ultimate key to unlocking the disruptions we’re all contending with. But, we have to take action now, together with our partners in the private sector

      PREPARE YOUR ANUS! MORE FRIENDLY VACCINE FASCISM INCOMING COURTESY OF DEMENTIA SMITH!

      Seriously, what more can he possibly do to “encourage” vaccination? Start marching the national guard through neighborhoods sticking needles into unwilling arms?

      • rhywun

        Yeah, I don’t know how to read that as other than a threat.

    • ignoreLander

      But, we have to take action now, together with our partners in the private sector

      That. Right there. Stop right there. The fed should have no “partners in the private sector”. Stay the hell out of it Brandon.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    In an effort to address the U.S.’s own supply-chain issues, Biden also announced the following domestic measures:

    An Executive Order aimed at streamlining American stockpiling efforts by delegating authority to the Department of Defense to make material releases from the National Defense Stockpile. The measure will allow for a more rapid response to material shortfalls within the defense industrial base.
    Two initiatives to promote international supply-chain resilience among U.S. partners and allies. First, the State Department will grant additional funding to provide technical assistance to Mexico and Central America counterparts to alleviate supply-chain disruptions and bottlenecks. Second, millions of dollars in funding for new U.S.-ASEAN initiatives. Both of these initiatives will improve and simplify customs and clearance procedures, reducing delays and encouraging sustainable and efficient supply chains.
    Secretary of State Antony Blinken and Secretary of Commerce Gina Raimondo will hold a multi-stakeholder summit next year along with their foreign counterparts. The summit will be a follow-on dialogue to establish the next steps among these parties to build greater global supply-chain resilience.

    More can’t-miss problem solving.

    • ignoreLander

      In an effort to address the U.S.’s own supply-chain issues, Biden also announced the following domestic measures

      Two initiatives to promote international supply-chain resilience among U.S. partners and allies

      additional funding to provide technical assistance to Mexico and Central America counterparts

      millions of dollars in funding for new U.S.-ASEAN initiatives

      multi-stakeholder summit next year along with their foreign counterparts

      In an effort to address the U.S.’s own supply-chain issues, Biden also announced the following domestic measures
      Domestic Measures

      You keep using that word. I don’t think-a it means what you think-a it means.

      • TARDis

        Domestic Measures = Lowered Expectations = Rationing*?

        *Does not apply to the elite and their sycophants

  20. Tres Cool

    Hey Rhywun- I wasn’t wrong.

    • rhywun

      What can I say. That was an unexpected result. ?

  21. Mojeaux

    My Dude: What are we going to do for Halloween candy?

    Me: Turn off the light.

    =====

    Thanks for the info re Fruit Tootsie Rolls, but I already knew that. 😉 I like fruit flavored and acidic/sour candy overchocolate. Sue me.

    =====

    I will admit that I prefer “Dragula” to “Shout at the Devil” and as you know, Vince Neil isn’t my jam, and Nikki Sixx looks much better with a little poundage on him. Poor Mick Mars can go as a skeleton for Halloween, but I shouldn’t make fun because he’s got a debilitating disease. Timmy Lee who? Oh, TOMMY Lee. Who? Now, it’s not Halloweeny, but “Dr. Feelgood” is awesomer than awesome.

    =====

    Move almost complete. I need to unpack the garage and then we will go empty our storage unit. We need our truck back from the dealership, which may be never since they’re trying to bait and switch us. Charge us 3x what you quoted AFTER you’ve finished the work? I don’t fucking think so. We have the paper trail. We’ll let you keep it before we buckle to that and nobody wants a truck with almost 400,000 miles on it (or do they?).

    =====

    GlibUNfit: I made cookies for the kids today, but I don’t like oatmeal cookies, so they are safe. Christmas cookie season is coming, though. I broke out the fir-scented candles and Christmas music.

    Merry HallowThanksMas!

    • Chafed

      I know who like. Just giving you a shout out.

      Wait for Bastille Day when MikeS gets some Rush.

      • Mojeaux

        w00 h00!!!

      • MikeS

        I feel something in my back…could someone look and maybe pull it out for me?

      • Chafed

        A shout out is a shout out!

        *runs away sobbing*

  22. Nephilium

    /looks at full size dark chocolate Kit Kats and pretzel filled big Reese’s Peanut Butter cups

    Hopefully, like last year, those will all be gone by the end of the night.

  23. Tundra

    Chafed!

    Happy Halloween! I am not too tempted by the candy, but will probably enjoy a Caramel Apple pop. So fucking good.

    I had a decent week this week, although I did tweak my knee somehow. Fucking body is getting old!

    I’ve got a trip Wednesday and Thursday, so that will throw my routine out of whack for a few days, but that’s life, right?

    Have a great week Glibfitters! Be strong.

  24. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    Wait – the Redskins’ kicker’s name is Blew It?

  25. The Late P Brooks

    I like fruit flavored and acidic/sour candy

    Starburst jelly beans!

    • ignoreLander

      Starburst jelly beans!

      Life Saver Gummies, sour fruit flavor. My new obsession; I can eat a whole pouch of them in a sitting. Didn’t get any for Halloween on purposes.