Sunday Morning Needle Drugs Links

by | Dec 12, 2021 | Daily Links | 279 comments

Our idiot governess looked at the data showing mask mandates have no particular effectiveness and are injurious to brick and mortar businesses like ours and took the only logical step- she denied that there’s any impact on business, and then imposed them for all privately-owned businesses by Diktat. From our understanding, we have a choice of requiring proof of vaccination for any patron entering our café, or requiring everyone inside to wear a mask (with yet-to-be-announced specifications beyond “cloth, surgical, or N95”). If anyone refuses, we have a choice of trying to evict them (with inevitable legal repercussions) or suffering a $1000 fine for each instance. The state claims that this will have no impact on business or on “rural counties.” Then they admit that they didn’t consult businesses or rural counties to make that determination.

On the face of it, this seems untenable. But as true problem-solvers, we have come up with a solution. We hired two defensive linemen from the college football team to stand inside our doorway. As customers come in, one grabs them, the other injects the customer’s arm with subsidized J&J vaccine. Since we did it and we saw it, we have complied with the law. And no-one would be prosecuted for helping our fine state achieve the stated goals of our leaders.

Clearly, this is what our governess wants, people like us to be agents of her police state. So in fine democratic tradition, we comply with the wants of our Dear Leaders.

Ahhh, Birthdays. Today’s include a guy who inspired the phrase, “Norman, coordinate!”; an actor who was a guarantee that a movie wouldn’t completely suck; a singer you did NOT fuck with; an actually better singer; a guy who’s the reason you’re reading this site; a triple threat pianist, composer, and arranger; the masturbatory queen of 12-14 year old me; and truly annoying chick who does amazingly annoying commercials on YouTube.

You know what’s coming next.

 

They need to stop whining and start hiring football players like we did.

 

Maybe it’s because you’re a quack.

 

Newsom: California does not recognize the text of the Bill of Rights. Comply, Citizen!

 

So it turns out that the Deadly PowerPoint I linked yesterday wasn’t something even generated at the White House but sent to them by a rando. As I predicted from the careful wording in the article. I am shocked, SHOCKED at this.

 

Women and minorities hardest hit.

 

“What about ME? Don’t forget about ME!”

 

I guess they read my Purim Jewsday Tuesday.

 

Old Guy Music is a rarity- Dizzy playing a non-bent trumpet. Superbly of course. I met Diz numerous times and he was always avuncular, jovial, and downright sweet. I was absolutely in awe of him. And there has never been a greater jazz trumpet player. Never. Never will be, either.

About The Author

Old Man With Candy

Old Man With Candy

Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me. Wait, wrong book, I'll find something else.

279 Comments

  1. l0b0t

    I can’t even with the LadyGov’s new mandates. Basta! Enough!

    • UnCivilServant

      I’m sad that the response wasn’t simply to tar and feather her then toss her in new jersey with a ban on ever returning to new york.

    • rhywun

      Yeah, I’m done. I will not comply. What that portends, I don’t know yet.

      • Ted S.

        The problem is the good little Nazis who will rat out businesses who don’t do anything to the evil unmasked.

      • rhywun

        Yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of.

      • The Gunslinger

        This is the correct answer.

    • Ted S.

      I can’t tell from Wikipedia’s biography, but she only worked a few years in the private sector before becoming legal counsel to various elected officials and then running for elected office herself.

      Not quite as egregious as *uck Schumer, who ran for the NYS Assembly straight out of law school in 1974 and has been in elective office ever since.

      • rhywun

        I actually had some small hope that originating far away from Albany and NYC would mean she might be more sensible than Andy was.

        Boy was I wrong.

      • Ted S.

        Her constituency is the leaders of the government-sector workers’ unions as well as the NYC quangocrats, and she feels she needs to prove her bona fides.

    • Rat on a train

      “It’s the people who don’t want to wear the mask (who) should pay the $1,000,” said Mahamada Camara, who is a worker at a Kennedy Fried Chicken on 125th St.
      FOS

      • Ted S.

        The mask mandates are bullshit, but she’s not wrong that businesses shouldn’t be forced into enforcing it under threat of fines.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        I’m thinking that even with all of the Constitution shredding so far, they still don’t have a path atm to mandate this directly on citizens themselves.

        The approach taken is under the authority to regulate commerce and the bureaucracy’s accepted power to issue edicts that businesses must comply with.

      • juris imprudent

        That would be true for the federal level, but this is the state – where the police power is presumed to be near absolute.

  2. UnCivilServant

    If that’s your strategm, I’m afraid I can’t patronize your business.

    • Old Man With Candy

      It will hurt less if you stop struggling.

      Don’t worry, there’s no salt or spice in the vaccine.

      • EvilSheldon

        Hurt me less, or them?

      • Old Man With Candy

        They are chosen for their burliness and being impervious to hits.

      • UnCivilServant

        Attempting to inject a foreign substance into my body is a threat to my life and justifies response with lethal force to prevent it.

      • Old Man With Candy

        It’s not a foreign substance, it’s made in America.

      • EvilSheldon

        The bigger they are, the deeper they sleep when they’re drunk…

  3. Ted S.

    Maybe it’s because you’re a quack.

    To be fair, he’s as much a doctor as Jill Biden or that quack Anthony Fauci.

    • UnCivilServant

      If that’s your standard, I’m going to start calling myself a Doctor.

      I’m a regular Computer Kevorkian.

      • Fourscore

        I’ve spent enough time in Doctors’ waiting rooms to have an Associate’s Degree.

        /Unpractitioner

    • Cy Esquire

      Jordan Peterson is about the only Dr. that I’ve ever been impressed by.

      • Ted S.

        Paging Dr. Chet to the white courtesy phone, STAT.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Not even the Doctors Paul?

      • Ghostpatzer

        Ron, Rand, and Ru?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Er, yeah. ?

      • Chafed

        Well done!

      • Rat on a train

        He’s just performing cock magic.

  4. Ted S.

    “What about ME? Don’t forget about ME!”

    I’d never even heard of this Joe Andrews.

  5. Sean

    Good thing there’s already a saboteur on the inside working to bring down a business with such an evil policy.

    ?

  6. Ted S.

    and truly annoying chick who does amazingly annoying commercials on YouTube.

    But a better host than Levar Burton.

  7. rhywun

    truly annoying chick who does amazingly annoying commercials on YouTube

    You’ll be happy to know she does amazingly annoying commercials on television, too.

    • juris imprudent

      Are they really as annoying as the Kate MacKinnon commercials?

      • rhywun

        I don’t know what that is.

        She only has one that I am aware of, but they play it all the time. She’s shilling for some snake-oil outfit.

        “I’m an actual neuroscientist!”

      • CPRM

        the Kate MacKinnon commercials?

        But she’s walking weird and yelling! That is COMEDY!

      • Chafed

        It’s so sad you’re right. The look in her eyes tells me she is begging for people to find her funny.

    • Grummun

      she does amazingly annoying commercials on television, too.

      I haven’t had the pleasure. She must not do pharmaceutical commercials. //watchingalotofhallmark

      • The Last American Hero

        Hallmark is only fun if you play Hallmark Movie Bingo.

        And then it is loads of fun.

  8. rhywun

    “The people in New York City don’t listen. When they ask for food and I tell them to put on a mask, they want to fight me when I tell them to leave,” Camara said.

    Good.

    • rhywun

      In small upstate towns, the governor’s requirements are not realistic for some.

      They are not realistic for the vast majority of business in NYC, either. You think all those bogedas and liquor stores I shop at have spare employees to play Stasi for Kathy?

      • Fourscore

        “Can’t we all just get along?”

        We are all equal, except you, and you, and you…

      • Ted S.

        Just like the word “solidarity” is always used to mean the wrong-thinkers are supposed to shut up and do what their overlords tell them.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      “K”FC on 125th Street. I doubt I would patronize it anyway.

      • rhywun

        Kennedy Fried Chickens are great 4AM drunk food.

      • UnCivilServant

        How far does that chain extend? I know there’s one across the river from me.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Take your word for it. Haven’t been to Harlem (in or out of ermine and pearls).

      • rhywun

        They’re all over the city.

  9. Gender Traitor

    So, Old Man….when your joint becomes a “private club,” how do we all apply for membership?

    • Fourscore

      “Wear a mask on Zoom calls, can’t be too safe”

      President Biden

      • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

        Sadly, I see that when I walk behind my wife during a meeting she is on.

    • Old Man With Candy

      It will be a Gentlemen’s Club.

      The law actually applies to private clubs as well. It’s absolutely nuts, and the next election, the alternative to Hochul will be… Deblasio,

      • rhywun

        HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

        I don’t think so. I’d like to think that openly despising the jurisdiction you’re running for and its constituency wouldn’t play as well in the rest of state but what do I know.

      • UnCivilServant

        No “statewide” office needs upstate votes anymore. They’ve driven enough people out and inflated the rolls owned by the machine downstate to not have to bother.

      • rhywun

        True.

        But Bill counted on outsized ignorance and voter indifference down here. He regularly won with less than 20% of support from eligible voters. I doubt he can count on that phenomenon statewide. He will lose the primary to Kathy.

      • Chafed

        Sounds like you are cursed either way.

      • Fourscore

        I went to a Remembrance yesterday, for a long time acquaintance, at the funeral home. The place was jammed, could hardly get around inside. Of course most of the deceased friends were his (my) age. Only 3-4 masks, all old people that would need a mask, if they worked. The rest of us coughed, drooled and spit on each other, due to the close proximity and seemed unconcerned. Back to normal, until the gov finds out.

      • ScoobaSteve

        Would something like this work?
        Sign at the entrance “By entering these premises, you certify that you meet the requirements set forth in Order# blah blah”

      • Old Man With Candy

        The mandate puts the onus of confirming vaccination on us. And we need to have records available for examination.

        It really is time for tar and feathers.

  10. Evan from Evansville

    Got an article ready for you all to (hopefully) enjoy!

    I submitted the idea to submissions but haven’t heard back yet. I I have art and am willing to process it myself but I’m not seeing a way to do that myself. Alt-text and everything!

    I want to avoid the editorial strain that has been going around. Any way that I can do it on my own would be lovely. I’m always happy to share with y’all. Hope everyone is as well as they can be and I hope this personal taste of my odd lifestyle will resonate. Thanks!

    • Tonio

      Evan, thanks for that. I’ll check that out tomorrow (Monday) morning. I’ll ask SP to set you up for access so you can submit and edit your own work. Watch your email for messages from this domain (glibs).

  11. juris imprudent

    …aggravated by years of excessive drinking and overwork. He died in a psychiatric hospital in Zurich.

    A Glib before his time.

  12. juris imprudent

    As much as I dislike him personally, Dr. Oz is a legit doctor (gone over as he has to bullshittery) and his ads for his Senate campaign are the only sane ones I’ve seen so far.

    • Chafed

      That’s genuinely surprising.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Unrecognizable, indeed.

    Burn it all down. Clear out the dead wood, and let the sunshine in.

  14. Gender Traitor

    I’ve never heard of this “celebrity chef” who’s doing food relief in KY, but I was wondering if any of you know who would make the best use of relief donations – ideally, an org with a bit more trustworthy financial record than the Red Cross.

    • Old Man With Candy

      He’s made his name with TDS and various loud stunning and brave proclamations. Checks all his Prog boxes. Superb at attention-whoring, a sine qua non for celebrity chefs.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        “Good news! I’ve made enough gazpacho for all!”

        Wish I could answer your question, GT.

      • l0b0t

        “Go back to Russia!”

        Disclaimer – I love gazpacho.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Me encanta tambien.

    • ArchieBunker

      My wife just volunteered for a couple hours this morning (we are in bowling green KY). All the small local groups are saying donate through red cross. If you didn’t want to go that route you might look for individuals on GoFundMe. If I see someone local looking for donations that aren’t through red cross I’ll post it later

    • Ghostpatzer

      I’d like to hear what Pie has to say about this.

  15. Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

    Micheal Strahan getting shot into orbit will definitely eliminate the Space Race gap.

    • Tres Cool

      /tries to think of a joke about the gap in Strahan’s teeth
      /goes back to feverishly shivering/sweating

      • Gender Traitor

        Poor baby! ? My offer to leave non-beer provisions on your front porch stands.

      • Tres Cool

        Phooey!

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Still ill, TC? Not merely hung?

      • Gender Traitor

        Phrasing, please!!!

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        In the Auntie Mame sense, not Saddles.

      • l0b0t

        OMG! I love that movie so very much. “Missy, stockbroker call to just say ‘hello’, before he jump out of window.”

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Patrick Dennis: Is the English lady sick, Auntie Mame?
        Mame Dennis: She’s not English, darling… she’s from Pittsburgh.
        Patrick Dennis: She sounded English.
        Mame Dennis: Well, when you’re from Pittsburgh, you have to do something.

        Come over sometime for gazpacho, sidecars, and pickled rattlesnake.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    Fuck the Red Cross.

    • R C Dean

      “A man died when a car trying to steal a catalytic converter fell and was crushed, a Union County agent said Friday.”

      *bangs space-alien-to-pidgin-english translator on desk*

      • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

        Dude, you can’t use a Pidgin to English translator, it needs to be a Unionese to English.

      • Rat on a train

        See what happens when self-driving AI goes bad.

    • Chafed

      Justice is served.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    “I am outraged by yesterday’s U.S. Supreme Court decision allowing Texas’s ban on most abortion services to remain in place,” Newsom wrote in a statement Saturday. “But if states can now shield their laws from review by the federal courts that compare assault weapons to Swiss Army knives, then California will use that authority to protect people’s lives, where Texas used it to put women in harm’s way.”

    *bangs space-alien-to-pidgin-english translator on desk*

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      I’m amazed that there are still firearm manufacturers in California.

    • UnCivilServant

      Gav, I know thinking isn’t your strong suit, but moving the regulation of abortion back to the states is exactly what we are looking for from the federal judiciary at the moment. “Fine, I’ll do what you want” isn’t much of a threat to principled people.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      And thereby are their ultimate plans revealed. They’d be only too happy to relegate everyone to owning a musket if they had their preference.

    • rhywun

      Translation: “Waaaaaaahhhhh!”

  18. EvilSheldon

    Good morning Glibertania!

    So I’m about to roll out to a USPSA match. Bright and sunny, 43ºF, dry as a bone, 9mph wind. The question is, long underwear, or no long underwear?

    • TARDis

      Depends.

      Good luck.

      • EvilSheldon

        Nah, they have porta-potties on the range.

      • Rat on a train

        which lane?

  19. Ghostpatzer

    Very noyce birthday list. Joe Williams > Sinatra.

    Looks like I will not be permitted to patronize your establishment. Unless you plan to open a speakeasy. Swordfish!

    WRT the governess- will no one rid me of this troublesome priest cunte?

  20. The Late P Brooks

    GOTCHA!

    Critics slammed Kentucky Senator Rand Paul for requesting federal aid to help his state recover from devastating tornadoes after he previously voted against relief when other states were struck by natural disasters.

    ——-

    Many were quick to draw comparisons to his previous votes against relief bills.

    In 2013, after Hurricane Sandy devastated parts of the northeast including New York, he voted against a bill that provided recovery funds to the state.

    He said he would have supported the bill if it reappropriated funds from other areas, rather than add on additional spending, WFPL, a Louisville-area news radio station, reported.

    “I would have given them 9 billion and I would’ve taken the 9 billion from somewhere else,” he said. “I would have taken it from foreign aid and said you know what, we don’t have money for Egypt or Pakistan this year because we have to help the Northeast.”

    He hates brown people.

    • EvilSheldon

      Or possibly New Yorkers, but who can fault him for good taste?

      OW! OWW! Dude, it was a joke, put the glass down! OWWW!

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Where are the carefully controlled studies which “prove” masks work?

    Don’t federal courts do discovery anymore?

    • Q Continuum

      Do you even SCIENCE! peasant?

    • Old Man With Candy

      This is, no shit, the governess’s citations of efficacy:

      • Mask use during an outbreak aboard the USS Theodore Roosevelt, a close, congregate
      environment, was associated with 70% decrease in risk of infection.
      • A study from Thailand documented that those who reported mask use during high-risk
      exposures experienced a more than 70% reduced risk of acquiring the disease compared
      to those who did not report such mask use during high-risk exposures.
      • A study in China demonstrated that mask use by both the index patient and family
      contacts before symptom onset reduced secondary transmission within households by
      79%.
      A study of 11 school districts in North Carolina with in-person learning for at least nine
      weeks during the fall 2020 semester reported minimal school-related transmission even
      while community transmission was high. These schools implemented and strictly adhered
      to multiple prevention strategies, including universal mask use and physical
      distancing. Breaches in mask use likely explained the few instances of in-school spread
      of SARS-CoV-2.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I’m sold, no confounding variables there. Good job gov.

      • Q Continuum

        And here, ladies and gentlemen, we have the difference between SCIENCE! and science.

        science = an iterative method utilizing carefully controlled experiments to measure effects on a single target variable in a highly transparent and reproducible fashion to try and establish causation.

        SCIENCE! = a hodgepodge of anecdotal bullshit twisted into logical pretzel knots to service a pre-determined political narrative.

      • Old Man With Candy

        I always look for certain key phrases and terms:

        linked to: we often see both together, but there’s no evidence that one causes the other

        associated with: we have even less than “linked to”

        more research is needed: more grant money is needed

      • DEG

        See here: We know masks work, and these studies show it.

        I think there’s a term for that….

      • rhywun

        A study in China

        ??

      • whiz

        At least for the North Carolina one, I believe there were no control schools to compare to.

  22. Q Continuum

    Dr. Oz’s wife is hot and she’s a “Reiki master” so she’s probably into weird, new age sex stuff.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      How is hovering a hand over the patient therapeutic?

      I should get up now that dawn has and do stuff. 41° outside?!

    • PieInTheSky

      is Dr. Oz a real doctor or a jill bidedn doctor?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        MD, though eccentric.

      • Q Continuum

        Cardiac surgeon.

      • juris imprudent

        Actual real MD (surgeon no less) but completely gone over to much craziness.

      • Sensei

        Sorry wrong kanji. Disregard the derivation.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    /goes back to feverishly shivering/sweating

    Take a hot shower.

  24. Q Continuum

    “Enmity between Zionists, Iran goes back to Purim”

    Just Zionists? Really? Is the Jerusalem Post now taking up the wokesters’ anti-Semitic tropes?

    “We don’t hate and want to exterminate ALL Jews, just the Zionists!”

    • PieInTheSky

      I mean the problem is you can’t really tell which are the Zionists so you need to get them all to be safe

      • juris imprudent

        Irony of the Zionists originally being a small slice of the total global Jewish population, until a certain someone conducted a certain genocidal campaign.

      • Q Continuum

        You know what else was a small slice of the total global Jewish population?

      • JG43

        Don’t make a mountain out of a mohel

      • DEG

        Jewish women that have gone on dates with me?

    • Fourscore

      That’s 1/2 the questions at the Fort Francis crossing.

      Papiers, s’il vous plait.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    “If the most efficient way to keep these devastating weapons off our streets is to add the threat of private lawsuits, we should do just that,” he wrote.

    “See something, say something.” The social contract requires you to rat out your neighbors. It requires you to force them to OBEY.

    • UnCivilServant

      with Mexico coming first in the ‘finding friends’ and ‘feeling at home’ categories.

      Well, the neighborhood I grew up in did have a problem with drug dealers killing each other. It did have more snow than most of mexico though.

    • Q Continuum

      “So while making friends in a new country can seem intimidating, according to the Expat Insider 2021 survey, in some countries, it’s much easier than others. While central and south American countries topped the leaderboard”

      During the significant amount of time I had to spend in grad school in Argentina, I found the women to be *very* “friendly” IYKWIM.

      • UnCivilServant

        They only took one kidney after drugging you?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      “Taiwan was ranked the most friendly country of all”
      It’s a damn shame West Taiwan is breathing down East Taiwan’s neck then. It might actually be the friendliest place on earth but nope.

      • rhywun

        The people in West Taiwan (LOL stealing that) were great when I visited. Friendly, normal people. Their government… not so much.

    • limey

      Mexico is “in Europe” now? Obviously I didn’t RTA.

      • UnCivilServant

        The article is referencing another one that is talking about worldwide, and it really is thin on the fact or metrics.

      • PieInTheSky

        they generally looked at a list of world wide to finally conclude European countries are not that friendly

    • Grumbletarian

      This implies that making friends is something I consider when moving somewhere.

    • UnCivilServant

      The motives vary by person, ranging from simple cash, to reinforcing the OBEY! mindset, to refusing to admit to being wrong.

  26. juris imprudent

    Taibbi rocking on Loudoun County:

    Thomas Jefferson High’s population in 2018 was 70% Asian, a staggering number considering that in both Fairfax and Loudoun Counties, Asians are only 20% of the residents. According to the most recent Census data, the rest of the population in Loudoun is 67% white, 8% African-American, and 14% Hispanic. The gifted admissions numbers for Loudoun’s own programs had long been similarly lopsided. More on that in a bit; for the moment, focus on the response at the May 8, 2018 meeting about the TJ contract.

    So I got your critical race theory – these damn upstart Asians are outperforming the children of the white liberal UMC. Unacceptable!!! Our progeny our inheritors of our privilege dammit. It isn’t fair that they should have to compete on their own.

    • Rat on a train

      Changing the school’s name will go a long way toward fixing the imbalance.

  27. The Late P Brooks

    This is, no shit, the governess’s citations of efficacy:

    “When the conjure woman scrutinized the chicken guts, this is what they told her.”

  28. The Late P Brooks

    But she’s walking weird and yelling! That is COMEDY!

    Oh, no, Is that the stupid obnoxious chick in the phone ads?

    • Ozymandias

      I was just watching one of those commercials last night and wondering two things: “Who TF is that?? Because she is awful. And what is with the walking like Groucho Marx in drag and yelling and waving her arms??”
      Jeebus, those commercials are horrific. What ad exec thought those were a good idea?? They’re awful.

    • juris imprudent

      Oh yes. Way more annoying than Bialak.

    • ron73440

      The one that walks like she crapped her drawers?

    • whiz

      Well, it makes you pay attention, which must be the intent. Although when commercials with outrageous performances do that to me, I often don’t remember what the company is, which kinda defeats the purpose.

    • UnCivilServant

      Sometimes you just want to watch the fires burn.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Thomas Jefferson High’s population in 2018 was 70% Asian, a staggering number considering that in both Fairfax and Loudoun Counties, Asians are only 20% of the residents.

    Plainly, they have been ghettoized by Whitey.

    • juris imprudent

      More Taibbi…

      [the context of SJW racial politicking to the preceding budget battles where Asian parents fought to keep access to the elite TJ program]

      The coming ideas would be a lot harder for these residents to follow than the cost of bus routes. They were about to be introduced to modern American social justice thinking, in the context of a classic example of nut-cutting back-room politics, a juggernaut combination if there ever was one. They had no answer for either dynamic — until Election Day in 2021 when people like Raj Patel finally got to register their displeasure. When McAuliffe stood up in a debate and said, “I don’t think parents should be telling schools what to teach” — the political equivalent of using a toe to shoot your face off with a shotgun — he may not have been speaking directly to the admissions issue, but it was still a last straw for certain voters.

  30. The Late P Brooks

    they generally looked at a list of world wide to finally conclude European countries are not that friendly

    Whaaaaa? You could knock me down with a feather.

    • PieInTheSky

      apparently the norther European paradises are the worst

  31. PieInTheSky

    The joke here is supposed to be that a Harvard education in democracy failed to keep these men from running a concentration camp; the punchline is that it is quite possibly that education which equipped them to do so.

    https://twitter.com/TheAgeofShoddy/status/1469888103083094021

    • PieInTheSky

      “pre-game drain” – go to an escort before your date? sure just make sure you shower well afterwards so you don’t smell like perfume… Although if you are also paying for dinner this will increase total cost

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      You need drugs to get it up? how sad……..

      • Q Continuum

        Drugs are for special occasions… 🙂

  32. The Late P Brooks

    I don’t get the push to jab everyone. Why are they still pretending they work?

    We’re all in this together. Or else.

    • Sensei

      Yeah, but the social pressure to conform there makes it mostly a moot point.

      If you’d like to work you’ll be getting a shot. My friend declined, but her husband took one for the team as they’d like to be able to eat.

  33. The Late P Brooks

    I looked but the nipples were blurred

    Maybe if you tweak them, it will bring them into focus.

  34. Not Adahn

    Oh yea, some random guy just randomly sent a random powerpoint to a trump-linked insider thatjust happens to have the insurrection narrative I’m trying to push?

    Occam’s razor says this is a false flag by Putin.

  35. Gender Traitor

    We have one of those “atomic” wall clocks that picks up the signal from the cesium fountain atomic clock in Boulder, CO. I looked up a couple of minutes ago, and despite the fact that our clock was already set to the correct time, its hands were zipping around the way they do when they adjust for DST. For all I know, our clock just did a complete 12-hour circuit.

    It was really kinda creepy.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      USNO male-voiced speaking clock: 719-567-6742. Very retro-sounding.

    • PieInTheSky

      Aliens

      • UnCivilServant

        You’re not supposed to say it was aliens.

  36. Lazer

    Some happy news. The Art of Manliness had a Harvard professor/doctor on who has wrote a book about testosterone. She tells the truth about gender/sex and how testosterone affects the body.

    https://the-art-of-manliness.simplecast.com/episodes/how-testosterone-makes-men-men

    As all here know, she tells the truth about how testosterone affects the body in puberty and that it doesn’t matter how many estragon shots you take after going thru puberty as a male, you will always have more muscle mass/stronger bones than a biological female.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Tarragon shots? Been reading Waiting for Godot? 😉

  37. juris imprudent

    Here Taibbi gets to the nub of it…

    But there would also seem to be plenty of logic in rewarding immigrant families whose kids consistently bust their asses in class while showing a faith in the public school system native-born Americans often don’t, if they can look up from their super-size bags of Cheetos long enough to think about it. If these aren’t the families who get to thrive in America, what are we about? What’s our pitch to would-be immigrants around the world? Come here, work like mad — and hope for a break?

    Our pitch is, come here, work for us, mouth the platitudes of the liberal elite and know your place. That’s got to work, right?

    • juris imprudent

      And of course, TMITE

      National media figures helped the process along by the least subtle means imaginable. The chief tactic involved pumping the airwaves full of “angry white parent” caricatures and editorials about the evils of racism and white supremacy, deflecting attention from the nonwhite demographic at the actual center of the controversy.

    • rhywun

      The whole point of this stuff is to give up trying to improve the standards for kids who can’t or won’t keep up, because that would be racist, and being called a racist is the most terrifying thing in America now. They couldn’t care less about immigrants or whatnot.

  38. The Late P Brooks

    Grandstanding?

    State Sen. Brian Dahle, a Republican from Bieber, would oppose the plan but predicted it could probably pass California’s Democratic-dominated state Legislature. He said the proposal was most likely a stunt for Newsom to win favor with his progressive base of voters ahead of a possible run for president in the future.

    “The right to bear arms is different than the right to have an abortion. The right to have an abortion is not a constitutional amendment. So I think he’s way off base,” Dahle said. “I think he’s just using it as an opportunity to grandstand.”

    Pitting citizens against each other in furtherance of personal political aspirations?

    That’s unheard of.

    • The Last American Hero

      I’m more alarmed that Justin Bieber apparently controls an entire legislative district.

  39. Q Continuum

    “I’d just taken a year out from Oxford university after completing my first year, having gone slightly mad – not uncommon among Oxford undergrads. Letting a girl like me from an Essex comp go to Oxbridge was like putting a pig into a Miss World contest – whether it’s meant as a kind gesture or a practical joke, it’s not going to end well for the pig.”

    https://metro.co.uk/2021/12/12/what-it-feels-like-to-work-in-the-adult-industry-for-over-25-years-15734928/

    So… inferiority complex?

    Seriously though, you’re providing a lot more value in what you’re doing vs. getting brainwashed into a woke zombie by academia.

  40. Raven Nation

    Apparently there was quite the end to the Formula 1 season.

    • Gender Traitor

      Worst of all, Foo Fighters cancelled!

      Emirati state-linked newspaper The National quoted concert promoter John Lickrish as saying that a member of the band was rushed to a hospital from an airport in Chicago, where the band stopped on the way to Abu Dhabi.

      Was there a race, too?

      • Raven Nation

        Yeah, although now there are appeals going on so who knows how this will turn out.

      • Fourscore

        Lickrish?

  41. Tres Cool

    I doing mean to use this forum as a place to vent about my ill health, but with Jugsy in SC for the next 2 weeks its just me & The Dozer.
    /sniff….YOU PEOPLE ARE ALL I HAVE!

    /sobs uncontrollably

    • Tres Cool

      Also, thanks to the overnight storms, my cable and internet are out. G_d bless 5G.

      Anyone have the Cal score ?

      • Fourscore

        Gimme your address, I’ll mail it to you and then you’ll have your own copy.

      • Ozymandias

        Now THAT’S a pretty solid Glib response.
        Nicely done, 4×20.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      You could send him to the drugstore with a shopping list and a twenty tucked into his collar.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        That. was. Funny.

      • Tres Cool

        Really? This dope ?

        He wouldn’t leave the front porch.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Neat Artex texturing on your ceiling.

      • Tres Cool

        I love how “you people” always zoom in on the background details and not the object of the post.
        It’s a good thing the ceiling fan was in motion or someone would have commented “Jesus dust that thing!”

      • Tres Cool

        To be fair, I do the same when I watch amateur pr0n.
        “She needs to spend more time vacuuming and less time fucking”

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Seen a pic of doggo already.

        You could use some bigger art on that wall. /ducks

      • Q Continuum

        She fucks so she can afford a maid.

      • Mojeaux

        She fucks so she can afford a maid.

        If Tres notices she needs to vacuum, then the maid isn’t doing the job.

      • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

        I remember when my dad you to do things like that with me:

        “Hi, please sell my son a gallon of milk and two packs of PallMalls”

    • Tres Cool

      *don’t mean
      I honestly don’t know how you people do this on a tablet. Let alone a phone.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Predictive text.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    Clearly, this is what our governess wants, people like us to be agents of her police state. So in fine democratic tradition, we comply with the wants of our Dear Leaders.

    “This ditch is full of dead people. Why did you bring me here?”

    • Sensei

      Exactly. Because it was easier than carrying a body.

  43. The Late P Brooks

    Victory

    The historic vote for Starbucks signals the rising power of labor and workers in the workforce. Starbucks executives have lobbied hard to keep workers from unionizing in the Buffalo location for months by holding face-to-face meetings – a move that Starbucks Workers United blasted “union busting.”

    However, that hasn’t stopped three other nearby stores, and one Arizona cafe, to follow Buffalo’s lead.

    “There’s no more time for an empty seat at the table. We have proven that here in Buffalo, and we’re proving that across the country and not just in Starbucks,” Reeve said.

    “Service workers across the country, we have seen the surge already and I hope that this serves as an inspiration,” she added.

    Nationwide support for unions was at 68% — its highest since the 1960’s, according to a Gallup poll in August, with support among people ages 18 to 34 at 77%. Still, the union membership rate in the U.S. was roughly 11% in 2020, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, slightly higher than the prior year.

    One coffee shop does not a revolution make.

    • PieInTheSky

      I still do noy understamd the existance of Starbucks

      • The Last American Hero

        A nation of smokers quit and needed a morning fix and somewhere to spend their new source of cash saved from not buying smokes.

        An overpriced coffee shop was at the right place at the right time.

        And to be fair – pre Starbucks coffee in America sucked ass. It was usually a pot of generic shit that had been sitting in a pot for 2 days and was only popular with truckers and old timers.

      • Drake

        25 years ago Starbucks was making a variety of very good coffee. I used to stop into one on the way to work and fill my travel mug with a different variety for $1.

        Then they figured out that people will pay more for sugared up milkshakes.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I’d buy the blonde roast, but… the wokeness.

        (Whatever happened to “PC”? Too 20C?)

    • Annoyed Nomad

      Hmmm…I wonder if Starbucks will be investing in automation? I’m old enough to remember those machines where you could select a few options for the crappy coffee that was spit into a paper cup.

  44. DEG

    Our idiot governess looked at the data showing mask mandates have no particular effectiveness and are injurious to brick and mortar businesses like ours and took the only logical step- she denied that there’s any impact on business, and then imposed them for all privately-owned businesses by Diktat.

    Don’t you realize she’s following the SCIENCE!?! Why do you hate SCIENCE?!?!

    I love that the picture of the NY governor in your first link shows her wearing a mask dangling off her ear. Maybe that’s another way around her Diktat?

    He said he has already directed his staff to work with the legislature and the attorney general to craft a bill that would allow private citizens to sue those who manufacture, distribute or sell an assault weapon or ghost gun kit.

    The Feds have already spoken on this issue.

    Old Guy Music is good.

  45. creech

    I learned last night that my former employer had a prize drawing to encourage the non-vaccinated to get the jab. Names of all vaccinated employees were put in a bowl and four names drawn. Prizes were $5k, $3K and two $1K. (total names were about 90). According to HR, the drawing induced only ONE un-clean employee to get the jab.

      • creech

        No, 90 already had jabs, so the newly jabbed was #91 in the bowl. The four winners were all employees who had already gotten jabbed.
        I guess outcome could have been worse, because the head of HR was restrained from being allowed to fire the handful of employees that are still refusing the emergency medicine.

    • Tres Cool

      Being currently sick with this Commie Crud has only galvanized my resolve to avoid a jab. Assuming I survive, I believe natural immunity is a thing.
      Pathogens mutate and there’s no guarantee that a year from now I wont be sick from another variant, and if that happens I may re-think my position. But I’m not convinced that the current vaccines do anything helpful anyhow.
      In fact, since receiving jab #2, Jugsy has been menstruating non-stop and to the point she’s taking iron supplements.

      • Q Continuum

        “Jugsy has been menstruating non-stop”

        Kinky.

      • Tres Cool

        Not mine.
        I’m not a “blood-hound”.

        /you can research that term yourself

      • Q Continuum

        Like chewing on pennies.

      • Tres Cool

        “Smells like a handful of pennies in an old boxing glove”

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Red Bull gives you wings?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Is that what you have? Guess I missed that.

      • Tres Cool

        Yup. I wasn’t feeling well last Wednesday and had a mild fever.
        Thursday I took 3 at-home Abbot Labs Binax test. All positive.
        Friday I had the official swab at my VA horse-pistol. Positive.

        I am the un-clean.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I guess I remember now. Feels different from cold or flu?

      • Tres Cool

        My torso feels like Tyson (or any boxer) has been using it as a heavy bag.
        I may have mentioned before that Ive had broken ribs that hurt less.

  46. The Late P Brooks

    Big Nanny to the rescue

    The Retail Industry Leaders Association, representing dozens of national retailers including Walmart, Home Depot, Walgreens and Target, is calling on Congress to step in to stop online outlets from selling items stolen from their stores.

    ”Leading retailers are concerned about the growing impact organized retail crime is having on the communities we proudly serve, which is why we strongly support the bipartisan and bicameral Integrity, Notification and Fairness in Online Retail Marketplaces (INFORM) for Consumers Act,” the group said in a Dec. 9 letter to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer, D-N.Y., and other congressional leaders.

    ”This important legislation will modernize our consumer protection laws to safeguard families and communities from the sale of illicit products and we urge its quick passage.”

    Here’s an idea: withhold federal funds from any city which declines to enforce the laws against theft.

    • creech

      Is there any state that already doesn’t have a law against trafficking in stolen goods? Of course, enforcing said law is another kettle of soup.

      • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

        The problem with that is the people who would be enforcing those laws are the same people who don’t enforce the laws that lead to this right now.

    • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

      I don’t know, that might RILA them up!

  47. The Late P Brooks

    The bill, introduced in the Senate in March, would make third-party online sellers authenticate the merchandise they offer on platforms such as Amazon, eBay and Etsy to help combat stolen and counterfeit items from being moved online.

    And, again, they dragoon businesses into their army of enforcers.

    • Mojeaux

      Etsy sent out a big “please contact your senators and tell them this is bullshit” announcement about this.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I get that this is a recent problem with luxury goods, but how do you authenticate vintage stuff?

      • Tres Cool

        My Ghetto Kroger (The Black Market) has taken laundry detergent and other items and put them in an enclosure in the store.
        Mostly tide and Gain have RFID tags on them and a sticker on the front that says something like ‘If you didn’t buy this from Kroger, please call XXX-XXXX”.
        Like if I’m buying discount Tide from a flea market I’m truly concerned over where it came from.

    • Fourscore

      Pawnshop law. Seller/pawner has to provide info to the pawnshop, ready for inspection by the pawnshop police.

  48. Mojeaux

    XY got my 3 bookshelves put together and attached to the wall. Those fuckers are TALL, but it goes well with the space. Now, to get all my books from storage. I probably should have gotten 4.

    The problem is some of my knickknacks (Rodin’s The Kiss and The Thinker, and the Roman goddess of fortune) are too tall for the individual shelves, and I need a ladder to put them on top (and then dust — blurgh).

    Maybe it’s just time for new knickknacks.

    • UnCivilServant

      Doorstoppers do take up more shelf space. Your fault for writing so many words per book 😛

      • Mojeaux

        Soap operas #FTW!

    • whiz

      Well, if you sell the Rodin sculptures you should have a nice bankroll to do that (and buy more shelves).

      • Mojeaux

        *ahem* My small plaster replica.

  49. The Late P Brooks

    I am the un-clean.

    So say we all.

  50. The Late P Brooks

    Maybe it’s just time for new knickknacks.

    Put a cutout in the shelf above.

    • Mojeaux

      I’ve been living without them so long they’ve ceased to mean anything to me (or their time of meaning has passed altogether).

  51. Tundra

    Good morning, Old Man!

    A very creative solution for the restaurant. I might have gone for linebackers to combine size speed and creative thinking, but that’s neither here nor there.

    Speaking of here, I went into Ace Hardware yesterday, sans mask. The nice girl at the door said hello and asked if she could help me find something. She could and did, without saying a goddamn word about masks. But hardware store, right? Next stop was some proggie paradise called Sprouts. I got a tip that they had NAC in stock. Again, I went in without a mask and no one said a word. As far as I could tell, everyone was masked except me, one another guy and a tall, pretty chick (who did not appear to have any co-morbidities, IYKWIM). I even chatted with a nice lady while we waited in line. I got my NAC.

    • Tres Cool

      Non Antifa Colloid ?

      • Tundra

        N-acetyl-L-cysteine.

        A really nice little amino acid that the FDA is threatening to go after. Never mind that it’s got a successful, safe track record that goes back decades. Never mind that it has been used to counter acetaminophen toxicity in the liver, boost the immune system and, worst of all, looks like it might help against the ‘vid.

        Hey! That sounds familiar!

        Mostly, though, it’s because NAC is off patent and one of the evil Phuckheads is prepping to bring a new drug to market. Gotta clear out the cheap stuff, dontcha know.

      • Tres Cool

        You had me @ “liver toxicity”
        /begins shopping

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Also, milk thistle and Sam-e. Might help (enough?).

      • Tundra

        Good call.

        And thanks for pointing me to Sprouts (even though it’s incredibly precious)

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        (I did?? Good dilly potato salad, cheapish produce. Decent meat? IDK, not my department…)

    • Q Continuum

      Nebulous Atomic Cloud

  52. The Late P Brooks

    “She needs to spend more time vacuuming and less time fucking”

    Whoa, whoa, whoa, big feller.

    • Tres Cool

      She’s tiny
      Find me a Size 22 and maybe Ill feign interest.
      Reminds me of a Daniel Tosh bit tho: “I read that the morning-after pill has killed women that took it. Talk about 2 birds and 1 stone.”

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      That’s 200 lbs?

    • Q Continuum

      “I’ve definitely found myself feeling bitter about how for women it seems sex is never ‘no strings attached’.”

      Seems your beef is with biology. But I guess there’s nothing a little communism can’t solve?

  53. juris imprudent

    I like this, a lot. And I see the need with some of us around here.

    The partisans going to the barricades on opposing sides of America’s gaping political divide are united in the conviction that the old-fashioned liberal spirit has outlived its usefulness. A system that is rotten to the core and requires a radical overhaul, say the rabble rousers on the left, precludes toleration, civility, and the disposition to consider the merits of contending perspectives. Meanwhile, the firebrands on the right respond that it’s pointless to speak of mutual respect and understanding in the face of those who insist that America is rotten to the core and requires a radical overhaul.

    • R C Dean

      The scorn shared by belligerents on the left and right for the old-fashioned liberal spirit underscores the need to nurture it.

      What exactly is this liberal spirit that needs to be nurtured? Because the last time we nurtured “liberalism” it turned into a toxic brew of racism and Marxism, faciliated by a fascistic coordination of dominant corporations and unaccountable bureaucrats.

      Don’t get me wrong – I’d love to see a return to a civic culture of true tolerance and politics as a diminished presence in people’s mental lives. The difficulty is in articulating a political and social culture that draws enough adherents to relegate the “belligerents” to the sidelines, rather than the starting teams.

  54. The Other Kevin

    Sorry to hear about the new restrictions. I’m curious to see what happens here in Indiana. All the counties are in “condition red” whatever that means, and we are one of the Dirty Six states that account for all the new Covid cases. Hospitalizations are up but deaths are holding steady. Last year our governor was inclined to follow along with the states around us, but a bunch of Republican legislators and sheriffs slapped his hand and he’s backed off since.

    I searched for Indiana news, and in the Covid update there was mention of Omicron, and how in the UK the experts want to lock down because they’re expecting tens of thousands of deaths. And yet still there is not one recorded death from Omicron.

  55. Gustave Lytton

    https://www.kxxv.com/news/2-artists-charged-with-faking-native-american-heritage

    Gabriel Galanda, an Indigenous rights attorney in Seattle who belongs to the Round Valley Tribes of Northern California, said that if shops offer products as Native-produced, they should be verifying the heritage of the creators, such as by examining tribal enrollment cards or federal certificates of Indian blood.

    $20 says the reporter accepted that claim by Galanda without demanding to see his tribal card or proof of Indian blood.

    • The Other Kevin

      I agree with this. If you’re going to benefit from your heritage you should be able to prove it. For example, if you’re getting a job, say at a university, based on your claim to be Native American, then you should take a DNA test or something.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Dawes Rolls? But I got family recipes to substantiate my claim.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        And mandibular arches.

      • Ozymandias

        Or – wait for it – we could just NOT offer special privileges based upon DNA/ancestry.
        I know it’s a crazy thought, but we could all just be “Americans” and “equal before the law.”

  56. The Late P Brooks

    “The Chronicle of Philanthropy” paywalls its articles.

    Contemplate this on the Tree of Woe.

    *Prior to a few minutes ago, I had no idea there was such a thing as The Chronicle of Philanthropy. Now I want to bombard the joint with flaming bags of dog shit.

  57. The Late P Brooks

    Hmmm…I wonder if Starbucks will be investing in automation? I’m old enough to remember those machines where you could select a few options for the crappy coffee that was spit into a paper cup.

    Keurig is advertising a “smart” customizeable-brew machine, lately. All Starbucks needs to do is steal/tweak the idea and put a row of those against the wall.

  58. The Late P Brooks

    federal certificates of Indian blood.

    Wait, what?

  59. The Late P Brooks

    Verification of goodthink is required

    After criticism about a lack of transparency, billionaire philanthropist MacKenzie Scott reversed course and said she’ll share details about her latest round of gifts.

    In a Medium post Friday, Scott said she plans to release the information in the year to come, and to create a website with a searchable database of grants. Scott, one of the world’s wealthiest women, has announced more than $8.5 billion in grants to hundreds of nonprofits across the country since her 2019 divorce from Amazon AMZN, -1.12% founder Jeff Bezos.

    She released an update on her 2021 giving on Wednesday, but didn’t reveal which groups received funding or how much money she had given out. Scott said she left “dollar signs” out of her update because she wanted media coverage to focus on the groups working on the causes she supports. She said she would let the groups that received her funding speak for themselves if they chose.

    Scott also called for a broader definition of philanthropy — one that means more than just ultra-wealthy people doling out billions of dollars.

    The lack of detail in Scott’s latest announcement provoked criticism from some philanthropy experts, who said that public scrutiny is one of the few checks against the power and influence of elite philanthropists. Others noted that charitable donations are typically tax-deductible, so all U.S. taxpayers have an interest in knowing where her money goes.

    “She’s undermining norms of transparency and accountability for a good cause, but plenty of other donors would be interested in doing a similar amount of undermining those norms without her noble intent,” said Ben Soskis, a senior research associate at the Center on Nonprofits and Philanthropy at the Urban Institute, a Washington, D.C.-based think tank, after Scott declined to reveal details in her initial announcement.

    What if she gives money to people we don’t like?

    That’s completely unacceptable.

    • R C Dean

      public scrutiny is one of the few checks against the power and influence of elite philanthropists

      And I suppose these “philanthropy experts” have been banging the drum for Soros and his cabal to be transparent, as well?

      • Ted S.

        They’re pissed they don’t get to rake off the vig.

  60. Mojeaux

    Why does WordPress keep fucking with stuff? I do not want most of the newest “features” and they don’t give me the option to keep what I have (THAT I LIKE) without a plugin.

    • R C Dean

      There appears to be an irresistable dynamic in the software and app biz to ALWAYS BE CHANGING. The timeless wisdom of “it ain’t broke, so don’t fix it” has been lost. I can’t tell you the number of software and app updates that I get that are a net negative. Change for change’s sake is a terrible idea.

      *shakes cane, yells at clouds*

      • Mojeaux

        Really, my beef is that their updates broke what we early adopters cobbled together. They didn’t even make it backward compatible. Many people don’t want to/can’t figure out a workaround to get what they want, so it’s not ALL change for change’s sake, but WordPress was always kind of a DIY cobble-as-you-go project. I wish they’d keep their fancy dancy shit for wordpress.com instead of the platform itself.

        I’ve had on my to-do list for ages to change both my sites over to Classic Press. It may be time.

  61. The Late P Brooks

    Change for change’s sake is a terrible idea.

    This.